test content
What is the Arc Client?
Install Arc

Favorite bit of doffing silliness?

1235

Comments

  • turbomagnusturbomagnus Member Posts: 3,479 Arc User
    edited August 2014
    Today, I perform an experiment (well, with assignment durations and all, the results won't be in until tomorrow, but still...). I call it 'What happens when you send an Exocomp to play Dabo?'...
    "If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it's not for the timid." -- Q, TNG: "Q-Who?"
    ^Words that every player should keep in mind, especially whenever there's a problem with the game...
  • lystentlystent Member Posts: 1,019
    edited August 2014
    "A little nipping and tucking here... Shaving scales there and... OMG Eww."
  • crusty8maccrusty8mac Member Posts: 1,381 Arc User
    edited August 2014
    I always get a chuckle when I have to retrieve an exocomp or hologram from sickbay.
    __________________________________
    STO Forum member since before February 2010.
    STO Academy's excellent skill planner here: Link
    I actually avoid success entirely. It doesn't get me what I want, and the consequences for failure are slim. -- markhawman
  • bethshepardbethshepard Member Posts: 92 Arc User
    edited August 2014
    My Marion doff went missing... After looking through my completed missions I discoverd there had been a tragic accident during a snow ball fight. I laughed but I wasn't amused.
  • sharksinspacesharksinspace Member Posts: 121 Arc User
    edited August 2014
    Actually, sharksinspace, that makes a strange kind of sense - to me, anyway - since they're from Federation member/ally races, no one would pay any attention to them.

    Ferengi KDF DOff to Federation outpost security officer: "Why are we loading contraband, industrial replicators, medical supplies, a Phaser Pulsewave rifle and two human janitors onto a shuttlecraft? ...Well, that's a stupid question."

    (Little DS9 joke there...)

    That's like my habit of sending a pair of Klingon Security Officers on the assignment to search the ship for Contraband... on a Starfleet vessel, where they obviously stand out. I can just imagine some crewman quickly walking down the corridors, hissing quietly to all the other crew members they pass, "Captain's sending his Klingons to search for it, hide your Contraband! Ch'kar and K'lak are headed this way, hide your Contraband!"

    Easiest way I can figure out to explain why they seem to fail that mission so often...

    Mind blown. That explains so much. lol
  • zysalianzysalian Member Posts: 32 Arc User
    edited August 2014
    Team of three purple Research Lab Scientists sent to Recover Artifacts, all ended up in Sick Bay as result. I can pretty much imagine that the last recorded dialogue between the three would have been along the lines of "Hey people, we are in this Iconian ruin, right ? And there is this button with text that translates to "Do Not Touch", right ? We should press it and see what happens, right ?"
  • turbomagnusturbomagnus Member Posts: 3,479 Arc User
    edited August 2014
    Rom-KDF Reman as my character, okay?
    Sirius Sector Block, Reman Marauder 'department head' has an assignment; "Hire Out As Mercenaries To Remans". I'm thinking to myself, isn't that basically what my Klingon and Nausicaan/Orion/Gorn/Lethean DOffs (and BOffs, for that matter) are already doing?
    Just for humor, I assigned as many Remans as I could to the assignment.
    "If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it's not for the timid." -- Q, TNG: "Q-Who?"
    ^Words that every player should keep in mind, especially whenever there's a problem with the game...
  • tilartatilarta Member Posts: 1,801 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    I came across a DOFFing assignment on my KDF I'd never seen before:

    Offer Sanctuary to Refugees from Starfleet Aggression.

    Cue the raising of the Vulcan Eyebrow. :rolleyes:

    To explain, Klingons maintain a policy of "creative editing".
    That is, if information doesn't match their world view, they alter the phrasing so that it does.

    So, reading between the lines here, we're not picking up harmless refugees persecuted by Starfleet, we're getting criminals who have committed terrorist acts against the Federation and are being chased down for those crimes. :eek:

    Bees like honey, they don't like vinegar.
    Everytime someone makes a character that is an copy of an existing superhuman, Creativity is sad :'(
  • ashstorm1ashstorm1 Member Posts: 679 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    I remember once pitting a regular Human Security officer DOFF against a Horta miner DOFF (from the Mine reputation) for combat training simulation...

    We can only imagine the outcome :
    Me : "What happened to your partner? What is that puddle of goo?"
    Horta : "NO KILL I ! NO KILL I !"
  • dpsloss88dpsloss88 Member Posts: 765 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    That plot device alone should have gotten most Star Trek series cancelled. You need one effing huge suspension of disbelief to think a human can suddenly pass for a native of an alien world. A American would have trouble passing for a Canadian, let alone a Mexican in real life....
  • dpsloss88dpsloss88 Member Posts: 765 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    When I first started playing this game I lost at least a dozen doffs on missions scanning for anomolies and particles. How the hell do you die sitting on the bridge scanning for particles?
  • royalsovereignroyalsovereign Member Posts: 1,344 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    dpsloss88 wrote: »
    When I first started playing this game I lost at least a dozen doffs on missions scanning for anomolies and particles. How the hell do you die sitting on the bridge scanning for particles?
    Two words. Exploding consoles.
    "You Iconians just hung a vacancy sign on your asses and my foot's looking for a room!"
    --Red Annorax
  • turbomagnusturbomagnus Member Posts: 3,479 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    An Emergency R&D Hologram got sent with a Doctor on a "Treat Minor Burns" assignment... I can just imagine the Doctor complaining 'Blast it, Captain, I'm a Doctor, not a Photonic Studies Scientist!'
    "If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it's not for the timid." -- Q, TNG: "Q-Who?"
    ^Words that every player should keep in mind, especially whenever there's a problem with the game...
  • royalsovereignroyalsovereign Member Posts: 1,344 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    An Emergency R&D Hologram got sent with a Doctor on a "Treat Minor Burns" assignment... I can just imagine the Doctor complaining 'Blast it, Captain, I'm a Doctor, not a Photonic Studies Scientist!'

    Photonic Officer: "Doc, I have this burn..."
    Doctor: o.O
    *sits down at computer console*
    *fires up Photoshop v.eleventybillion*
    *clicky-clicky*
    Photonic: "Thanks, Doc, that's much better."
    "You Iconians just hung a vacancy sign on your asses and my foot's looking for a room!"
    --Red Annorax
  • turbomagnusturbomagnus Member Posts: 3,479 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Another chapter in the continuing epic of "Klingon Archaelogical Survey Mistakes"...

    I sent a Nausicaan (white) Research Lab Scientist and a Ferengi (blue) Trader on an 'Appropriate Artifacts from Archaelogical Site' assignment. They brought back two prisoners and no artifacts (R&D Materials)...

    My Gorn captain had to double face palm at that. He sends them off to acquire R&D materials and they come back with prisoners and no materials. I can just picture him commenting on a good job capturing the Federation grave robbers, now, where are the artifacts he sent them to recover... and the two DOffs looking at each other and promptly starting a round of 'Pass The Blame' for forgetting them.
    "If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it's not for the timid." -- Q, TNG: "Q-Who?"
    ^Words that every player should keep in mind, especially whenever there's a problem with the game...
  • crappynamerulescrappynamerules Member Posts: 146 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    adverbero wrote: »
    I still get a kick out of sending Shakespeare on assignments

    YES. "We need to negotiate a trade for some astrometric probes. GET ME SHAKESPEARE!"
  • edited October 2014
    This content has been removed.
  • blackhand293blackhand293 Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    I swear this thread is amazing.

    Also had a biochemist give a critical success in an Anbo-Jyuitsu tournament :confused:
  • weirgreifweirgreif Member Posts: 25 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Sick Bay: Ultra-rare mission! I suppose it is, depending on how good you are at selecting duty officers.

    (Or how good the AI is at selecting them for you)
  • edited October 2014
    This content has been removed.
  • dareaudareau Member Posts: 2,390 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    I should see if I can set this mission up and how effective it would be:

    "Have EMH Mk I treat Loskene for Minor Burns"...
    Detecting big-time "anti-old-school" bias here. NX? Lobi. TOS/TMP Connie? Super-promotion-box. (aka the two hardest ways to get ships) Excelsior & all 3 TNG "big hero" ships? C-Store. Please Equalize...

    To rob a line: [quote: Mariemaia Kushrenada] Forum Posting is much like an endless waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever. However, opinions will change upon the reading of my post.[/quote]
  • kiralynkiralyn Member Posts: 1,576 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    I'm just wondering when the Beta Ursae governments are going to get tired of me sending them Emergency R&D Doffs in exchange for their officers....





    But yeah, I get a giggle every time Investigate Rumors of Klingon Intelligence comes up. :P
  • royalsovereignroyalsovereign Member Posts: 1,344 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    YES. "We need to negotiate a trade for some astrometric probes. GET ME SHAKESPEARE!"
    Forsooth! Giveth me and mine a smashing deal for these industrial replicators, or I shall taunt thee interminably with iambic pentameter!
    "You Iconians just hung a vacancy sign on your asses and my foot's looking for a room!"
    --Red Annorax
  • markhawkmanmarkhawkman Member Posts: 35,236 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    I find it amusing that the Orion Syndicate and "Fugitive support network" have managed to extend into the Delta Quadrant. It's not entirely unexpected I suppose, but it's a bit odd.
    -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
    My character Tsin'xing
    Costume_marhawkman_Tsin%27xing_CC_Comic_Page_Blue_488916968.jpg
  • eiledoneiledon Member Posts: 595 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    I still can't get over DOFF's dying while doing routine turbo lift maintenance. What we're they doing in the shaft, bungee jumping? :confused:

    I had a doff die at a poker tournament - Guess Worf didn't like his hand.
  • kiralynkiralyn Member Posts: 1,576 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    One of my KDF is currently executing a Vulcan Entertainment Hologram for incompetence.....


    ;)
  • royalsovereignroyalsovereign Member Posts: 1,344 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    kiralyn wrote: »
    One of my KDF is currently executing a Vulcan Entertainment Hologram for incompetence..... ;)
    "I regret that my presentation of the "Ode of Surak (Opus 1 thru 47) did not measure up to your entertainment requirements. I shall endeavor to perform at a higher level."

    "Oh, shut your Vulcan gruel-hole!" *grinds holo-emitter to space dust*
    "You Iconians just hung a vacancy sign on your asses and my foot's looking for a room!"
    --Red Annorax
  • mightybobcncmightybobcnc Member Posts: 3,354 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Authorized 3 Caitians to hold a shipboard concert last night. Critical Success.

    Joined January 2009
    Finger wrote:
    Nitpicking is a time-honored tradition of science fiction. Asking your readers not to worry about the "little things" is like asking a dog not to sniff at people's crotches. If there's something that appears to violate natural laws, then you can expect someone's going to point it out. That's just the way things are.
  • bcwhguderian1941bcwhguderian1941 Member Posts: 804 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    I do'nt know why, but I do'nt believe I've had a single succsess at the Gift Exchange Diplomatic
    Doff mission? Use all purple Doff's. Have even had some injuries !! :eek:

    Its like...

    "T'vree ! , (my first officer). What the h**l are you sending as gifts, the Science
    Sections left over "digestive remains". Jeez !


    BCW. :)
  • royalsovereignroyalsovereign Member Posts: 1,344 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Authorized 3 Caitians to hold a shipboard concert last night. Critical Success.
    Why do I suddenly have the mental image of the Tom'n'Jerry cartoon where Tom is playing the bass and singing "Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby?"
    "You Iconians just hung a vacancy sign on your asses and my foot's looking for a room!"
    --Red Annorax
Sign In or Register to comment.