Hello again!
I'd like to request a review of "Lonesome Heart" (FED 31+, ST-HGM9WKQKU), please.
Thanks!
I am NikkoJT, Foundry author and terrible player. Follow me!
There used to be a picture here, but they changed signatures and I can't be bothered to replace it.
Icarus Simulation: Colony Rescue
I played with 2 other fellow foundry authors
Deferi Space: Lots of Borg action.
Initial ground 1: Nice little colony you have made.
Ground assault 2: I like how you put the Borg colony on the ground.
Base: Your Borg cat is standing on the console she's typing. Some of your npcs are far away from their consoles when typing. Bonus points for having Caitians hehe. You named every NPC, nice touch. One science ensign benzite has an 01 by her name. Multiple dialogue options are good.
The last nest: Another great Borg base. Nice moral choice.
Space 2: You should add more details out here like asteroid fields ETC. Maybe lower some of the Borg numbers, or at least make them a bit closer together. Change the y values so your enemies are at different heights. Adds variety.
This is a very heavy combat mission with little story. I suggest you make some of the mobs closer together. I also suggest lowering some of the mob numbers as there a quite a lot of groups. One group member suggested you add some colonists to rescue to add more variety to the tasks. I also noted the missions abruptly without any dialogue. This may be somewhat confusing.
All in all, you showed you have a good understanding of the basic foundry mechanics. Now you should expand upon them and master them. Use this mission and update it with the better changes for practice. I gave you 5 stars for showing this understanding, you are off to a good start and I look forward to future work that is even better .
Thank you for the input! I'm not feeling 100% right now, but I'll poke at the modifications tomorrow! Sadly, it wasn't meant to be a story heavy mission, largely as it is supposed to be an evaluation simulation for RP purposes. The next one I'm plotting should be much more story heavy (though I wish I could make lighting effects like in drozana station during the devidian incursion).
I'll prod you when I finalize the updates so you can give it a run, if you like.
The Unsung Mission: Artifacts I played this with 2 other authors.
I did not pursue the bonus objectives or longer options due to playing with others at the time.
Near Breshar Planetoid: Great dialogue work! Tons of options and the bonus objectives are a good addition.
Make sure to alert the reader to click the continue act 2 and not begin act 1 as that may cause confusion on the return trip to Breshar.
Awesome transition phase in the second breshar map to drop out of warp. Spelling error on Nausicaans in the dialogue.
Crash site: Nice camp site you've made. So much bonus and optional dialogue. Awesome job.
The Nebula :Ah returning to the nebula. Anomaly is spelled wrong in the dialogue.
Interesting cliffhanger. You did an amazing job with the dialogue. It would need many playthroughs to get everything. Bonus options are great and there is a huge increase in quality compared to the prologue. Great work and I am interested to see where the next part takes us. Well done!
I was half asleep due to it being so late so half my notes are "Holy huge battle Batman."
But besides that. This is a long and intense combat mission with a TON of story. Plenty of options based on your species. The author has done an amazing job and this is definitely the most polished entry of the entire series. I honestly found no mistakes or errors of any kind.
All in all, I really felt like this was a movie I had just watched. I can't explain why, it is just how the ending and everything worked out. Well done. I know the community can expect great things from you in the future..
PS: Loved the twist at the end with Staas, nicely done.
PS PS: Here are the notes ;P.
Honor of the Empire
QA'VIN PUQMO': You named every NPC, well done. I love all the optionals.
High Council: Good dialogue here.
Battle of Qo'nos space: Nice touch on including Praxis.
Qo'nos 2: Holy huge battle Batman.
Qo'nos 3 : Holy huge battle Batman. Go Ferasan Shadow Force .
Qo'nos systemL Holy huge battle Batman.
Qo'nos system 2: Holgy huge batman.
Abandon ship: Nice gravity effects.
Qo'nos: Nice flashback to the Fel'lhri arc.
great hall catacombs: Nice map work!
The Unsung Mission: Artifacts I played this with 2 other authors.
I did not pursue the bonus objectives or longer options due to playing with others at the time.
Near Breshar Planetoid: Great dialogue work! Tons of options and the bonus objectives are a good addition.
Make sure to alert the reader to click the continue act 2 and not begin act 1 as that may cause confusion on the return trip to Breshar.
Awesome transition phase in the second breshar map to drop out of warp. Spelling error on Nausicaans in the dialogue.
Crash site: Nice camp site you've made. So much bonus and optional dialogue. Awesome job.
The Nebula :Ah returning to the nebula. Anomaly is spelled wrong in the dialogue.
Interesting cliffhanger. You did an amazing job with the dialogue. It would need many playthroughs to get everything. Bonus options are great and there is a huge increase in quality compared to the prologue. Great work and I am interested to see where the next part takes us. Well done!
Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to find that I had not one but three playthroughs of my mission! Thank you all for trying this mission, and from the look of things you all had enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed making it.
Specials thanks for finding those spelling errors, they have been corrected in version 1.20. I have also made some changes that will hopefully help players know which button to click when returning to the Breshar System.
I did some modifications and Ill list them below:
Deferi Space 1 & 2: moved the borg closer together, eliminated a few groups, and varied the height of the groups. I also added asteroids to the map like you recommended.
Initial Ground: Added more interaction with the colonists, though I could not get markers to show up and show where the groups to tag for beaming out were. Theres only the general area indicated on the mini-map. Bonus points if you get the theme of the naming for the different members of each group
Ground 2: Unchanged
Base: Borg cat fixed, officers moved closer to the consoles, benzite renamed. I added some story text on the beam in.
Last Nest: I altered the ending text to help preface the need to jump to space and blast the way out.
Thank you again for your input, it was greatly appreciated! I'm posting this while the updated is publishing so the modifications will be live soon.
Welcome to the first instalment of the new 'Order of Midnight' Series! Whilst this is a story driven - dialogue heavy - RP mission: it hs been designed so you can play it in more than one way. so IF you have access to ToS period uniforms and want to play this as full RP, it is recommended you make a set available ready to equip to you and your away team during the mission.
The story begins as you receive an encrypted transmission from an Admiral who just so happens to share a name with someone you once knew very well.
For those of you who haven't guessed yet, this is a rework of the 'Order of Midnight' ficiton series based out of SWTOR - rewritten as a Star Trek story - more at www.theorderofmidnight.com
ALSO:
There is a competition running throughout the series! In the greatest of Star Trek traditions; each episode contains a continuity error! At the end of the series, you will be asked to identify the error from each episode! Those who correctly identify all of the errors will be presented with instructions on claiming their prize - a personalised signed copy of the episode posters!
Description:
A dangerous particle, a Section 31 agent in possession of one, and a conduit that is the catalyst to it all. All of which is happening under the shadow of an impending Borg invasion.
The investigation of three ship wreckages is your only bid to find anything that can help you hunt down the Section 31 agent before he unleashes whatever he is planning.
Be forewarned, there are others taking part in the hunt...
I made a series a little bit awhile ago. I was wondering If I could get some feedback on it as I'm revising them before I start on a new segment on the series. I'll post all the episodes just in case, but even if you only end up reviewing the first episode, any feedback is welcome. There's no rush for any review at all. Just whenever you get a chance. Thank you ^.^
Mission Name: The Wave Empire Ep.1
Author: Skyline45
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
ST- HAP9J34R0
Est. Time: 45min
Mission Name: The Wave Empire Ep.2
Author: Skyline45
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HRDEHNDQN
Est. Time: 1hr 20min
Mission Name: The Wave Empire Ep.3
Author: Skyline45
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HAVYZLC4O
Est. Time: 35min
Recommended Difficulty: Normal
Mission Name: The Wave Empire Ep.4
Author: Skyline45
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HQDWSGADV
Est. Time: 50min
Recommended Difficulty: Normal
Mission Name: The Wave Empire Ep.5
Author: Skyline45
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HNN7Z42LT
Est. Time: 1hr
Recommended Difficulty: Normal
Lonesome Heart
Vulcan System: Multiple optional NPCs are a good touch.
Intercept Point Alpha: Nothing major here.
Intercept Point Charlie: Same as last map.
Engine Room: Great job on the map work. All the optional npcs are good. Multiple dialogue
choices are good.
Bridge: Nothing major here.
True way hideout: Nice map work.
Obsidian cruiser: Great map work.
You did an excellent job. This is a definite step-up from your first mission. The dialogue is smooth and clear, no major errors too. While the mission is simple and doesn't do anything majorly flashy, you show you are on your way to great things. 5/5, can't wait to see what happens next.
Opening dialogue is straight and interesting to see how the entire mission will be changed based on the choices.
Badlands: Always a cool map.
Hangar deck: Cool flashing effect on the hangar. Optional objectives are always good.
Temporal coordinates: Try placing the first ship spawn closer to the player so the warp-in bug doesn't happen.
Omega IV: Maneuver is misspelled in "Maneuver through the asteroid belt" several times. Along with the following dialogue.
Exter: Cool Jeffrey tubes!
Exter hallway: I always loved this interior.
Nothing major the next 2 maps.
Unknown cave: Cool map with lots of optional dialogue. That portal is cool!!
Through the portal: Whoa, what just happened. plot twist.
This is an excellent story mission with a few neat effects added in. I can tell many hours of hard work were put into the dialogue. That is the key to this mission. An excellent plot twist at the end and I am curious to see what happens next. 5/5. Keep up the good work.
Lonesome Heart
Vulcan System: Multiple optional NPCs are a good touch.
Intercept Point Alpha: Nothing major here.
Intercept Point Charlie: Same as last map.
Engine Room: Great job on the map work. All the optional npcs are good. Multiple dialogue
choices are good.
Bridge: Nothing major here.
True way hideout: Nice map work.
Obsidian cruiser: Great map work.
You did an excellent job. This is a definite step-up from your first mission. The dialogue is smooth and clear, no major errors too. While the mission is simple and doesn't do anything majorly flashy, you show you are on your way to great things. 5/5, can't wait to see what happens next.
Thanks for the review! The sequel "Sunset Blues" will be available soon-ish, assuming the servers don't stay down forever, so you won't have to wait too long for more
By the way, did the turbolift puzzle work okay for you (unless you chose to ask Rin)? I tested it a few times but you can never be sure in preview mode.
I am NikkoJT, Foundry author and terrible player. Follow me!
There used to be a picture here, but they changed signatures and I can't be bothered to replace it.
Comments
My character Tsin'xing
I'd like to request a review of "Lonesome Heart" (FED 31+, ST-HGM9WKQKU), please.
Thanks!
There used to be a picture here, but they changed signatures and I can't be bothered to replace it.
10chars.
I played with 2 other fellow foundry authors
Deferi Space: Lots of Borg action.
Initial ground 1: Nice little colony you have made.
Ground assault 2: I like how you put the Borg colony on the ground.
Base: Your Borg cat is standing on the console she's typing. Some of your npcs are far away from their consoles when typing. Bonus points for having Caitians hehe. You named every NPC, nice touch. One science ensign benzite has an 01 by her name. Multiple dialogue options are good.
The last nest: Another great Borg base. Nice moral choice.
Space 2: You should add more details out here like asteroid fields ETC. Maybe lower some of the Borg numbers, or at least make them a bit closer together. Change the y values so your enemies are at different heights. Adds variety.
This is a very heavy combat mission with little story. I suggest you make some of the mobs closer together. I also suggest lowering some of the mob numbers as there a quite a lot of groups. One group member suggested you add some colonists to rescue to add more variety to the tasks. I also noted the missions abruptly without any dialogue. This may be somewhat confusing.
All in all, you showed you have a good understanding of the basic foundry mechanics. Now you should expand upon them and master them. Use this mission and update it with the better changes for practice. I gave you 5 stars for showing this understanding, you are off to a good start and I look forward to future work that is even better
I'll prod you when I finalize the updates so you can give it a run, if you like.
10chars.
I did not pursue the bonus objectives or longer options due to playing with others at the time.
Near Breshar Planetoid: Great dialogue work! Tons of options and the bonus objectives are a good addition.
Make sure to alert the reader to click the continue act 2 and not begin act 1 as that may cause confusion on the return trip to Breshar.
Awesome transition phase in the second breshar map to drop out of warp. Spelling error on Nausicaans in the dialogue.
Crash site: Nice camp site you've made. So much bonus and optional dialogue. Awesome job.
The Nebula :Ah returning to the nebula. Anomaly is spelled wrong in the dialogue.
Interesting cliffhanger. You did an amazing job with the dialogue. It would need many playthroughs to get everything. Bonus options are great and there is a huge increase in quality compared to the prologue. Great work and I am interested to see where the next part takes us. Well done!
I was half asleep due to it being so late so half my notes are "Holy huge battle Batman."
But besides that. This is a long and intense combat mission with a TON of story. Plenty of options based on your species. The author has done an amazing job and this is definitely the most polished entry of the entire series. I honestly found no mistakes or errors of any kind.
All in all, I really felt like this was a movie I had just watched. I can't explain why, it is just how the ending and everything worked out. Well done. I know the community can expect great things from you in the future..
PS: Loved the twist at the end with Staas, nicely done.
PS PS: Here are the notes ;P.
Honor of the Empire
QA'VIN PUQMO': You named every NPC, well done. I love all the optionals.
High Council: Good dialogue here.
Battle of Qo'nos space: Nice touch on including Praxis.
Qo'nos 2: Holy huge battle Batman.
Qo'nos 3 : Holy huge battle Batman. Go Ferasan Shadow Force
Qo'nos systemL Holy huge battle Batman.
Qo'nos system 2: Holgy huge batman.
Abandon ship: Nice gravity effects.
Qo'nos: Nice flashback to the Fel'lhri arc.
great hall catacombs: Nice map work!
5/5
Specials thanks for finding those spelling errors, they have been corrected in version 1.20. I have also made some changes that will hopefully help players know which button to click when returning to the Breshar System.
Again, thank you for your review!
Deferi Space 1 & 2: moved the borg closer together, eliminated a few groups, and varied the height of the groups. I also added asteroids to the map like you recommended.
Initial Ground: Added more interaction with the colonists, though I could not get markers to show up and show where the groups to tag for beaming out were. Theres only the general area indicated on the mini-map. Bonus points if you get the theme of the naming for the different members of each group
Ground 2: Unchanged
Base: Borg cat fixed, officers moved closer to the consoles, benzite renamed. I added some story text on the beam in.
Last Nest: I altered the ending text to help preface the need to jump to space and blast the way out.
Thank you again for your input, it was greatly appreciated! I'm posting this while the updated is publishing so the modifications will be live soon.
Would love to get some feedback on this newly released project!
Project ID: ST-HJIPBFMVH
Author: @Crystyll
Language: English
Allegiance: Starfleet
Level: 31+
Runtime: 45mins - 1hr
Start point: Badlands
Description:
Welcome to the first instalment of the new 'Order of Midnight' Series! Whilst this is a story driven - dialogue heavy - RP mission: it hs been designed so you can play it in more than one way. so IF you have access to ToS period uniforms and want to play this as full RP, it is recommended you make a set available ready to equip to you and your away team during the mission.
The story begins as you receive an encrypted transmission from an Admiral who just so happens to share a name with someone you once knew very well.
For those of you who haven't guessed yet, this is a rework of the 'Order of Midnight' ficiton series based out of SWTOR - rewritten as a Star Trek story - more at www.theorderofmidnight.com
ALSO:
There is a competition running throughout the series! In the greatest of Star Trek traditions; each episode contains a continuity error! At the end of the series, you will be asked to identify the error from each episode! Those who correctly identify all of the errors will be presented with instructions on claiming their prize - a personalised signed copy of the episode posters!
So stay sharp, and keep note of the errors
Uprising: Act I - Off The Grid
Uprising: Act II - The Tempest
Uprising: Act III - Epsilon ( just published yesterday)
Thanks!
"The time has come to see the world as it is." - Captain James T. Kirk
Twitter - @SDVargo
The Unsung Mission
- Escalation -
Author: starfarertheta
ID: ST-HQTGG3SXM
Faction: Federation
Level: 41+
Length: 40 - 75 minutes (longer when exploring).
Features:
- Story, - Branching Dialogue, - Combat, - Bonus Objectives, - Exploration.
Description:
A dangerous particle, a Section 31 agent in possession of one, and a conduit that is the catalyst to it all. All of which is happening under the shadow of an impending Borg invasion.
The investigation of three ship wreckages is your only bid to find anything that can help you hunt down the Section 31 agent before he unleashes whatever he is planning.
Be forewarned, there are others taking part in the hunt...
I made a series a little bit awhile ago. I was wondering If I could get some feedback on it as I'm revising them before I start on a new segment on the series. I'll post all the episodes just in case, but even if you only end up reviewing the first episode, any feedback is welcome. There's no rush for any review at all. Just whenever you get a chance. Thank you ^.^
Mission Name: The Wave Empire Ep.1
Author: Skyline45
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
ST- HAP9J34R0
Est. Time: 45min
Mission Name: The Wave Empire Ep.2
Author: Skyline45
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HRDEHNDQN
Est. Time: 1hr 20min
Mission Name: The Wave Empire Ep.3
Author: Skyline45
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HAVYZLC4O
Est. Time: 35min
Recommended Difficulty: Normal
Mission Name: The Wave Empire Ep.4
Author: Skyline45
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HQDWSGADV
Est. Time: 50min
Recommended Difficulty: Normal
Mission Name: The Wave Empire Ep.5
Author: Skyline45
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HNN7Z42LT
Est. Time: 1hr
Recommended Difficulty: Normal
My Foundry Missions:
The Wave Empire Series: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=279751
Vulcan System: Multiple optional NPCs are a good touch.
Intercept Point Alpha: Nothing major here.
Intercept Point Charlie: Same as last map.
Engine Room: Great job on the map work. All the optional npcs are good. Multiple dialogue
choices are good.
Bridge: Nothing major here.
True way hideout: Nice map work.
Obsidian cruiser: Great map work.
You did an excellent job. This is a definite step-up from your first mission. The dialogue is smooth and clear, no major errors too. While the mission is simple and doesn't do anything majorly flashy, you show you are on your way to great things. 5/5, can't wait to see what happens next.
Opening dialogue is straight and interesting to see how the entire mission will be changed based on the choices.
Badlands: Always a cool map.
Hangar deck: Cool flashing effect on the hangar. Optional objectives are always good.
Temporal coordinates: Try placing the first ship spawn closer to the player so the warp-in bug doesn't happen.
Omega IV: Maneuver is misspelled in "Maneuver through the asteroid belt" several times. Along with the following dialogue.
Exter: Cool Jeffrey tubes!
Exter hallway: I always loved this interior.
Nothing major the next 2 maps.
Unknown cave: Cool map with lots of optional dialogue. That portal is cool!!
Through the portal: Whoa, what just happened. plot twist.
This is an excellent story mission with a few neat effects added in. I can tell many hours of hard work were put into the dialogue. That is the key to this mission. An excellent plot twist at the end and I am curious to see what happens next. 5/5. Keep up the good work.
Thanks for the review! The sequel "Sunset Blues" will be available soon-ish, assuming the servers don't stay down forever, so you won't have to wait too long for more
By the way, did the turbolift puzzle work okay for you (unless you chose to ask Rin)? I tested it a few times but you can never be sure in preview mode.
There used to be a picture here, but they changed signatures and I can't be bothered to replace it.