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Ashkrik23's foundry mission reviews.
ashkrik23
Member Posts: 10,809 Arc User
I decided to hop in on the review thread bandwagon to help authors get more reviews either for their new missions, or to try and get it to qualify for rewards. My reviews will be not as in-depth as Stoutes or evil70th, but hopefully they will be able to help some. If you have a mission you want reviewing, please submit it below with the name, author name, and the faction. I will try to get to them as fast as possible 
.
If you want an in-depth spell-check review, let me know in the initial post.
Mission queue list
The Cats and Cradle, Part 1
"Dubious Gifts
"Into the Badlands.
VARIANCE
Caitian's Gambit, part 1.
Covenant part 2 and 3.
Ferengi Repoman.
Attumar: First Contact
The Caitian Gambit - Part 2 of 2
On hold.
Re-runs
Spotlight picks
.If you want an in-depth spell-check review, let me know in the initial post.
Mission queue list
The Cats and Cradle, Part 1
"Dubious Gifts
"Into the Badlands.
VARIANCE
Caitian's Gambit, part 1.
Covenant part 2 and 3.
Ferengi Repoman.
Attumar: First Contact
The Caitian Gambit - Part 2 of 2
On hold.
Re-runs
Spotlight picks
King of Lions rawr! Protect the wildlife of the world. Check out my foundry series Perfection and Scars of the Pride. arcgames.com/en/forums#/discussion/1138650/ashkrik23s-foundry-missions
Post edited by baddmoonrizin on
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This discussion has been closed.
Comments
Prime Race (Parts 1 and 2)
1: ST-HGA6BDJW6
2: ST-HFIYFSL9M
Tell me what you like, hate and so on.
My notes I typed while playing.
Calarun system: Nice system, I see there are optional objectives which are always fun. All sorts of species are wanting this system. Noted no spelling or grammar errors in the story dialogue.
Moon Outpost: First impressions are WOW! I sometimes wonder how people make these custom structures on maps without going insane. It's bad enough trying to build a pre-made map. Phenomenal work. Lots of interactive objects outside of the main story to give some variety and background information. Wow I almost feel off the cliff, huge drop. You even built a base inside this giant rock. Apparently I drank an incredibly strong drink. So powerful it knocked me off my feet.
Temple: Same as before, amazing map work. Nice effects on the artifacts lighting up. Nice little mini-puzzle. Noticed a minor typo in the dialogue with the holograms. When the male one is talking about the primate super soldiers, soldier is spelled as solder.
Outpost upper level: Finding interactive objects on all level for optional content. Really helps add to the story. The voice was not what the creature I expected. Shouldn't bounds be bonds when you have to untie your allies? Nice effects with the "Voice"
Unknown location: And cliff-hanger!
Overall rating: 5 stars.
The maps were amazing. I think they were the best thing. I forgot I had run your other mission, the Nukara prime one long ago. Even though I could not remember much about it, the story was easy to follow and kept me interested. It's a shame that missions like this and others like Collateral Damage and Collectiveness Strikes gold aren't spotlights. That or not getting many plays.
Keep up the great work.
I am really curious to see what happens next. I might even get to part 2 today will have to see.
Unknown Location: Nice Elachi ambush. As with the previous mission, well done on the map and optional objectives. Spider Tholian, Spider Tholian, does whatever a spider tholian can. Some amazing trigger work here. No spelling errors noted.
Reactor: Same reactions as above, no spelling errors.
Surface: Awesome map! Super awesome huge ground battle.
Uncharted space: Super awesome space battle
5-stars, 100 dilithium tip. Notes were small since the mission was also small. Most of my likes were from the previous mission so no needed to keep repeating. The ground maps as always were well built and excellent, great job.
Name: Time's Eye
Faction: Fed
Author: @voporak
This mission is a sequal to Of Terror and Darkness, and a conclusion to the mission series started with Of Morals and Ethics. This mission is dialogue heavy, with considerably more combat than the previous two. If you spam F through the dialogue, the mission won't make any sense at all. There are several optional easter eggs placed throughout the mission, so if you enjoy surprises then look around on the maps to see if there's something waiting for you.
In reviewer section.
Mission ID: Extraction - ST-HRJS4PZ5N
Reviewer only for the moment.
EDIT: Just started the republish - it should be live soon!
Kormek's office: I am a grumpy cat. Noted no spelling or typo errors. Dialogue options are always good.
Empok Nor: Rawr cat returns! And my name is....Smaug... You are as scared as a rawrf cat frenemy. DOOOOOOOM. That really was the most interesting Jem'hadar in the world. Aww, my nephew gave his uncle the pride lands... Nice job on the gravity controls and puzzles. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Trivias: Super giant space battle and make sure to release the Kraken. I killed Suroo
Sublevel H: Very large battles with tons of tough enemies. Bring mortars, healers, and tac officers. I killed Suroo again
Sublevel
Trivias space: Nice transition work.
Ready Room: The end.
5-stars, 100 dilithium tip. Well done, the dialogue and Easter eggs along with some of the mechanics are what I always look forward to in this series. I will say that I thought there might be a twist at the ending. But it seems this story is over, well done on the series.
Deep Space: Did you mean engineer with the acronym ENG? It might be better to fully spell it out. Up to you though.
[NPC] ENG: I'm getting the scans now. The debris does not appear to be Federation in design, but I am reading phaser fire and wreckage consistent with atleast 2 Klingon Birds of Prey. Looks like the Byzantine put up a fight.
At and least need a space between them, and you might want to put the word two itself instead of the number.
[NPC] Captain Jarpek: Ah, so the Federation have sent the famous Vice Admiral Scar to reclaim their lost comrades? How predictable.
Have should be has since the Federation is a singular word. Their should be its as well.
I liked the multiple dialogue choices, always a good thing. The ole warp in bug happens when the Klingons warp in and keep repeating it. Try having them warp right on the player so this doesn't occur. I think it might be better to put the second warp point in front of the player after the first one. Nice planet transition!
[NPC] : I don't like it, sir. We're in Klingon territory and that's their planetary defense force? We're walking into an ambush! We can beam over to the Byzantine now that the defenses are taken care of, for now. I think you can remove for now at the end of the last sentence.
Deck 16: Nothing major, simple combat objectives. Breach door command was nice.
Deck One: Same as before.
Klingon installation Nice little final battle.
This is a very simple mission and is short but it is just his/her first. You did an excellent job and I see you already have a good grasp of the foundry mechanics. You'll be using a lot of these tricks hehe. 5-stars and 100 dilithium.
Thanks
Logitech007
Name: The Unexpected Returns Part Two
ID: ST-HCHMV3CNC
Author: Logitech007
Language: English
Allegiance: Starfleet-Federation
Level: 16+
Version:V1.1:
Story: After the initial dangerous disasters encounter with the Tzenkethi after 50 years. The Tzenkethi are back. What do the Tzenkethi want? You and your team will soon get answers to your questions. Trapped behind enemy lines, you and your team must forage together some unlikely foes to escape from the Tzenkethi and return to Federation space. Will you make it back to Federation space or will your spend the rest of your life behind enemy lines.
Where to start:Wall console just outside of the transporter room on Earth space dock.
Mine: [9:24] [NPC] Science Officer: Vice Admiral, that Reman was nice to warning us about the quard. We should try and find him to ask him some questions about where we are and how we can get out of here. Guard is spelled Quard.
9:23] [NPC] Reman Prisoner: You Starfleet are all the same with the questions, just do you me and everyone on this level of the mine and listen to the guard, he is trying to save your life and move along. I believe you intended to say: Just do you, me, and everyone on this level of the mine a favor.
[9:25] [NPC] Tactical Officer: Sir, is that a wise course of action. We should listen to his advice and keep to our self. Help will come for us. Need a question mark after action. The i in the response to this dialogue needs to be capitalized.
9:26] [NPC] Klingon Prisoner : Why do you want him, Starfleet? To talk or to stick your noses in wher it does not belong......look where it has got you. Missing an e on where. I needs to be capitalized in the tactical officer's response.
Noticing a lot of the continue button, may want to change that to dialogue.
On the Cardassian, he says sworn as sworen.
[9:29] [NPC] Romulan Prisoner: Have we seen a Reman? Why would I have. We are enemies and would kill the Reman as soon as we saw him so no we have not seen your Reman. On a side note, Vice Admiral, I would be very careful around the Reman, they are sneaky and can not be trusted. Need a comma after no. Can not should be cannot.
[9:30] [NPC] Tactical Officer: Hmmmm. he stated that the Remans are sneaky and not trust worthly. Kinda sounds that he was discribing them selfs. I would be careful around the Remans and the Romulans.
Discribing should be describing.
[9:32] [NPC] Reman Prisoner: I would say in human terms?.about two years. I have seen many prisoners come and none leave, most of they are killed or died. Do you want to hear a story to why the guard told you why to move along? Most of they are killed or died would sound better as: Most of them have been killed or have died.
9:38] [NPC] Romulan Prisoner: Remain, if you?re done this trip done memory line, I suggest you kindly direct them to where the other Starfleet prisoners are. Reman is mispelled.
U.S.S. Drug: Nothing major to note besides the great effects.
Mine, part 2: It is good to see what you thought was an enemy, help you in the end. The guards need a period at the end when they tell people to go back to their groups.
Restricted area: Nice job on the puzzle. Nice scenery. I found a Caitian
Ghomha: Boom! Giant mine explosion.
Deep space: You named every ship, well done.
Bridge: Nothing major to note besides a few minor typos.
Unknown location: Interesting bridge work.
Korvat system: Simple space battle.
Ending: Looks like things are going to get serious.
Well done, 5-stars, 100 dilithium tip. I think you need to go back through the whole missions when you get a chance. Some typos to clear out. Other than that, great work again. Looking forward to part 3.
Thanks again.
Logitech007
Would appreciate if you could review "A Personal Favour" (nikkojt, Federation). I know it's in evil70th's queue, but I'd like a couple of opinions.
Thanks!
There used to be a picture here, but they changed signatures and I can't be bothered to replace it.