I completed the review of "Fluidic Relations" however due to an error on my part the data I was collecting on the mission for review was incomplete. This is partially caused by real world work load, combined with exhaustion. Therefore all mission reviews are currently on hold until further notice. I will post here when I restart the queue.
I apologize for the inconvenience.
Brian
No problem, Brian. I can imagine the amount of effort you put into analyzing all these missions. The detail you put into it shows... and that's not even your job lol.
To everyone in the queue I would like to apologize for the long wait for review. I received a promotion at work, which placed me in charge of a new program that requires a large amount of my attention. Up until this week I was working half days (read that as half of a 24 hour period) plus weekends.
While I am still working those "half days" during the week my boss has decided it is better not to burn us all out completely, so he has decreed that weekend work is only authorized in extreme circumstances. Therefore I plan to resume my mission reviews albeit at a slightly elongated rate. This means I will be resuming my review of the queue one or two missions per weekend. I will get to the missions as soon as I can.
Federation Mission - Dark Alliance 2: Black Spiral
Author: Skydawn
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HDSFSEJNA
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission in the series. The map designs are good, with excellent innovative techniques that worked very well. The battles are tough, but fun and there are plenty of them to keep even the most battle hardened player entertained. The story dialogue is excellent and kept me riveted to my seat with a desire to see what came next. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who love great maps, tough battles, and excellent story dialogue. You will love this mission and the series so far.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a nice simple grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Consider adding the start location for the first custom map to the initial task.. It will make it easier for the player to find it. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good simple use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Belias Orbit: This is a good map design with tough, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
The Aurora Lounge: This is a great map design with tough battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
New Aurora Compound - East: This is a great map design with tough battles and excellent story dialogue. The Aurora Tram design was very well done. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
New Aurora Compound - North: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I had one question regarding the away team:
-Is the away team being isolated so far away a glitch? I realize they were not needed on this map and it made the story work better, but if it was not a glitch then how did you do it? I am sure there are many authors that would love to find an easier way to isolate the away team rather trying to move the spawn point close to an edge so they become trapped.
Unknown Star Cluster: This is a good map design with a fun battle and excellent story dialogue. It is a good wrap up to this mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Miranian battle ship has photonic Galor's with it.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission and I look forward with anticipation to the 3rd installment in the series.
Brian
This critique report also filed 03/30/2013 on forum posting for: Dark Alliance Series.
Federation Mission - Dark Alliance 2: Black Spiral
Author: Skydawn
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HDSFSEJNA
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission in the series. The map designs are good, with excellent innovative techniques that worked very well. The battles are tough, but fun and there are plenty of them to keep even the most battle hardened player entertained. The story dialogue is excellent and kept me riveted to my seat with a desire to see what came next. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who love great maps, tough battles, and excellent story dialogue. You will love this mission and the series so far.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a nice simple grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Consider adding the start location for the first custom map to the initial task.. It will make it easier for the player to find it. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good simple use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Belias Orbit: This is a good map design with tough, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
The Aurora Lounge: This is a great map design with tough battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
New Aurora Compound - East: This is a great map design with tough battles and excellent story dialogue. The Aurora Tram design was very well done. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
New Aurora Compound - North: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I had one question regarding the away team:
-Is the away team being isolated so far away a glitch? I realize they were not needed on this map and it made the story work better, but if it was not a glitch then how did you do it? I am sure there are many authors that would love to find an easier way to isolate the away team rather trying to move the spawn point close to an edge so they become trapped.
Unknown Star Cluster: This is a good map design with a fun battle and excellent story dialogue. It is a good wrap up to this mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Miranian battle ship has photonic Galor?s with it.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission and I look forward with anticipation to the 3rd installment in the series.
Brian
This critique report also filed 03/30/2013 on forum posting for: Dark Alliance Series.
I think the only fix for that would be to change from Cardassian ships to another faction - which may or may not be impossible. :P
Infinite possibilities have implications that could not be completely understood if you turned this entire universe into a giant supercomputer.
Greetings, this is my second Foundry mission, i'm very new to the Foundry so i hope you enjoy as much i did in making it.
it's a simple mission, to test mechanics in preparing my long series Alone in the Dark Series published a year ago, still need alot of work.
I thank you for the feedback you can give.
Oh, and english in not my first language, i am trying to get a friend to help me with better grammar, so don't hate me for it
Hi Kempoh,
Welcome to the queue. I never hate anyone for bad grammar or spelling. I merely indicate where it can be improved. Your mission is currently 12th in the queue behind uncle2fire. A recent promotion and subsequent work load increase has forced me to reduce the amount of time I have to conduct my reviews. I am now trying to conduct at least one a weekend if not two. I will get to your mission eventually.
Summary: This is a good, space combat oriented, mission with enough dialogue to move the story forward. The map designs are well done with several, very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written but needs a little work as indicated below. I would definitely recommend this mission but nor on Elite. It was tough enough on Normal.
I mention the use of the response button "Continue" on every map. This is something I usually recommend the player uses to help tell the story and include the player as more a participant rather than just a reader of the story. This is particularly true when it comes to the "Captain" responding to a BOFF report or dialog from an NPC. An exception to this would be when reading log entry or something along those lines, but even in those circumstances I recommend the use of "..." as an alternative. Yes I know Cryptic missions use the response button "Continue" a lot. In my opinion it seems unlikely that a Captain would simply say "Continue". This is my personal opinion.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Help the aenar Admiral figure out" to read "Help the Admiral figure out". The does not appear to be a reason to define her species. The player will figure that out when they accept the mission.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue are well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Consider adding the start location for the first custom map to the initial mission task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Starbase 653: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Starbase 653 - Space: This map does not appear to be needed. Consider changing the map transfer dialogue on the previous map to indicate the ship is to warp as soon as the player is aboard. Then go directly to the Xi Cassiopeiae System map.
Xi Cassiopeiae System: This is a good map design with several very tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Roger that Captain" to read "Aye Captain". That would be more professional.
-The use of the response button "Continue". I will cover this in more detail in my summary.
Fluidic Space: This is a good map design with several very tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Unknown Undine Facility: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider changing "Surely you must have noticed by we are not like the others" to read "Surely you must have noticed by now we are not like the others"
-Consider changing "But to undertand why we are" to read "But to understand why we are".
-Consider not changing the image of the Psi Master Tvalo to the Vulcan science officer until he says "I was disguised as this". It will look better and flow with the dialogue.
-Consider changing "did you know what I found" to read "do you know what I found".
-Consider changing "you are more than happy to use our communications array" to read "you are more than welcome to use our communications array".
-Consider changing "You can send the Undine to warp to Starbase 653" to read "You can have the Undine warp to Starbase 653".
Evacuation: This is a good map design with several very tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
Starbase 653 - Space: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider changing "your presence down over here on the planet" to read "your presence on the planet".
-Consider changing "She has decided to approve of the colonization of Selvis VI" to read "She has approved the Undine colonization of Selvis VI".
Colony: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider changing "and it all thanks to you" to read "and it is all thanks to you".
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job developing this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
I'll probably change some of the things like Continue to something else. The only reason I had Starbase 653 - Space was to have the animation where you warp your ship to instead of poof you are there. I'm going to change some things around based on the suggestions.
I'll probably change some of the things like Continue to something else. The only reason I had Starbase 653 - Space was to have the animation where you warp your ship to instead of poof you are there. I'm going to change some things around based on the suggestions.
Federation Mission - Dark Alliance 2: Black Spiral
Author: Skydawn
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HDSFSEJNA
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission in the series. The map designs are good, with excellent innovative techniques that worked very well. The battles are tough, but fun and there are plenty of them to keep even the most battle hardened player entertained. The story dialogue is excellent and kept me riveted to my seat with a desire to see what came next. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who love great maps, tough battles, and excellent story dialogue. You will love this mission and the series so far.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a nice simple grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Consider adding the start location for the first custom map to the initial task.. It will make it easier for the player to find it. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good simple use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Belias Orbit: This is a good map design with tough, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
The Aurora Lounge: This is a great map design with tough battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
New Aurora Compound - East: This is a great map design with tough battles and excellent story dialogue. The Aurora Tram design was very well done. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
New Aurora Compound - North: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I had one question regarding the away team:
-Is the away team being isolated so far away a glitch? I realize they were not needed on this map and it made the story work better, but if it was not a glitch then how did you do it? I am sure there are many authors that would love to find an easier way to isolate the away team rather trying to move the spawn point close to an edge so they become trapped.
Unknown Star Cluster: This is a good map design with a fun battle and excellent story dialogue. It is a good wrap up to this mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Miranian battle ship has photonic Galor's with it.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission and I look forward with anticipation to the 3rd installment in the series.
Brian
This critique report also filed 03/30/2013 on forum posting for: Dark Alliance Series.
Thank you again for this fantastic review. My time has become a bit more limited as well, but hopefully I'll be able to make the next part of this series to top the last. I didn't know the last battleship had P.G.s with it. I'll look into that.
Now, about the away team separation in New Aurora Compound - North.... It was originally just a bug that I couldn't fix, so instead I just used it as part of my story. I haven't quite yet gotten the technique down where I can do it 100% of the time, and so far it only works on certain maps, but I guess I'll share what I learned so far:
The trick is that on some maps (like Forest Clearing 01 for example), BOff pathing seems to fail on building block platforms whenever they encounter another object. If they even brush across anything, they will fall right through that spot of the platform to the terrain. On this particular map, I set it up to where the BOffs would spawn into an invisible wall on the edge of the platform near the tram entrance.
If any are remaining, it's possible for them to fall through on the comm platform, and then again on the narrow bridge. In the unlikely event (though I haven't seen it happen yet) that one still makes it across with you, or they eventually fix this bug, I also had a platform vanish behind you during the fall, then reappear once you're in the spiral. I've successfully duplicated this again on another mission, but I want to test it out a little more until I can get it to work with 100% effectiveness.
Welcome back to the queue. You are currently 13th in the queue behind Kempoh. I actually work much longer hours during the week but we are back to weekends off. With that in mind my goal is to do at least one mission review a weekend, two if I can. I will get to your mission as soon as I can.
Thank you again for this fantastic review. My time has become a bit more limited as well, but hopefully I'll be able to make the next part of this series to top the last. I didn't know the last battleship had P.G.s with it. I'll look into that.
Glad I could help. Trust me; I understand time limitations being placed on you. Real life interferes from time to time.
Now, about the away team separation in New Aurora Compound - North.... It was originally just a bug that I couldn't fix, so instead I just used it as part of my story. I haven't quite yet gotten the technique down where I can do it 100% of the time, and so far it only works on certain maps, but I guess I'll share what I learned so far:
The trick is that on some maps (like Forest Clearing 01 for example), BOff pathing seems to fail on building block platforms whenever they encounter another object. If they even brush across anything, they will fall right through that spot of the platform to the terrain. On this particular map, I set it up to where the BOffs would spawn into an invisible wall on the edge of the platform near the tram entrance.
If any are remaining, it's possible for them to fall through on the comm platform, and then again on the narrow bridge. In the unlikely event (though I haven't seen it happen yet) that one still makes it across with you, or they eventually fix this bug, I also had a platform vanish behind you during the fall, then reappear once you're in the spiral. I've successfully duplicated this again on another mission, but I want to test it out a little more until I can get it to work with 100% effectiveness.
A in consistent bug is an issue. You should consider reporting the bug and letting it get fixed, eventually. We should add an "Optional Away Team" feature to the list of things we would like to see in the Foundry.
A in consistent bug is an issue. You should consider reporting the bug and letting it get fixed, eventually. We should add an "Optional Away Team" feature to the list of things we would like to see in the Foundry.
Thanks for authoring, and keep it up.
Brian
I completely agree. I actually reported it right away in this post here. Problem is, it never got fixed. The compound was originally one entire map. I split them up as a workaround and built the tram, so even if it does get fixed, the mission would still work as intended.
I would love to see an "Optional Away Team" feature, and the "Limited" away team that we see in some featured episodes and New Romulus would be great too.
I completely agree. I actually reported it right away in this post here. Problem is, it never got fixed. The compound was originally one entire map. I split them up as a workaround and built the tram, so even if it does get fixed, the mission would still work as intended.
I would love to see an "Optional Away Team" feature, and the "Limited" away team that we see in some featured episodes and New Romulus would be great too.
That is a great idea. Let's hope we see those as options for Foundry authors one day. As always I am glad I could help, even if it is limited help at this point.
Hmmm, since you're backlogged I guess I better get in line now
This is my first Foundry mission, so feel free to pick it apart and show me where I can make improvements!
Mission Name: The Tangled Webs We Weave Author:ashtaku Minimum Level:None Allegiance:Federation Project ID: ST-HH4IN2WUC Estimated Mission Length:30-40 minutes, a bit longer if you explore all the optional dialogues.
Federation Mission - The Tangled Webs We Weave
Author: ashtaku
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HH4IN2WUC
Report Start
Summary: This is a good combat oriented story mission, with several tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. The options to take the mission in different directions depending on story dialogue choices are well done. The map designs are very well done. I would definitely recommend this mission to other players, although not on Elite level. It is a fun mission to play.
The "Optional Dialogue" using the standard dialogue insertion in the Foundry has always annoyed me. This is not your fault but the developers should add the option to make the dialogue go away after the player interacts. At present the other ways to do that are to make the dialogue part of the story or use triggered dialogue but that does not show up on the map. That is not something you control but something we should all consider asking for the developers to create.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The basic dialogue is well done but you should consider removing the duplicate [OOC] dialogue explaining the Episode type and other information already covered in the description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Consider adding the start location for the first custom map.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Reytan System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
U.S.S. Yamato Bridge: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Starbase 24: This is a good map with several tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
A.C.S. Ranok Interior: This is a good map with several tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
A.C.S. Ranok CIC: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
A.C.S. Ranok Engineering Spaces: This is a good map with some tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding a respawn point further into the map.
Transporter Room 2: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The door sealing the room is too high and does not look right. Consider lowering it to be more in line with the floor.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Name: The Writers of History
ID: ST-HHSLC2PJA
Author: Donkyhotay
Faction: Federation
Level: Any
Duration: 15-45 minutes
This is my first mission so I'm quite interested in what people think of it. As I'm certain you've heard from others, thank you for taking your time to review all of these missions.
Do not be afraid to joust a giant just because some people insist on believing in windmills.
Check out my foundry mission "The Writers of History".
Hi. I'd also like you to review my submission to the Foundry Challenge 6:
Mission Name:404 Error: Admiral Not Found Author: dougglendower Minimum Level: None Allegiance: Federation Project ID: ST-HAOSHU7Q6
Estimated Mission Length: 40 minutes, a bit longer if you go and find the remote Easter Eggs.
Federation Mission - 404 Error: Admiral Not Found
Author: dougglendower
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HAOSHU7Q6
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission that combines good map design, tough, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who love those combinations in a mission. You will enjoy this mission as much as I did.
As I mentioned in an earlier review I feel the "Optional Dialogue" used as standard dialogue insertion in the Foundry is extremely limiting. Several authors have found a way to use triggered dialogue as optional dialogue. The benefit is the dialogue can be configured to go away after the player interacts with it. The drawback of this is that triggered dialogue does not show up on the map. That is not something you can control but something we should all consider asking for the developers to create.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description; however you should consider changing the last sentence. It is a given that orders can and will change in the event of an emergency. We already know there is going to be an emergency, but you do not need to telegraph so blatantly.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Rho Geminorum III: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect you used for this map is a good but with the spawn point set up it appears to be backwards. Consider reorienting the map so the player is coming from the east.
-As you set up your interactions with dialogue prompts remember that not all players stop automatically when dialogue appears. In some circumstances they may fly past the next prompt if they are slow in reading your dialogue. It is a delicate balance between making the player fly too far to the next prompt and providing in depth story dialogue.
Castor: This is a good map design with some fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I note one item to consider changing:
-The "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect you used for this map. Same comment as above.
Bridge: This is a good map design with some tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Optional dialogue versus triggered dialogue. Using triggered dialogue instead of optional dialogue allows the author to make the dialogue to go away after the player interacts with it.
-The Flight Deck officer is typing in the air. Consider moving him to the right or left so he is centered on a console.
-Consider moving the respawn point for the flight deck into the control vice the passageway.
-If you are going to have the player go from one side of the map to the other and back again consider adding something in the middle to drive that move. Running from one side of the map to the other and back again can be annoying.
-You have some crew lying on the deck that are convulsing. You should have triggered dialogue that when the player comes near them they can examine and offer help to the crewman lying there.
Castor Exit: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider moving either the big asteroid in the way of the player or move the spawn point so the asteroid is not blocking the path to the warp out point.
-Consider moving the warp out point closer so the player is not flying half way across the map for a simple map transfer point. That can be annoying.
Rho-1 Cancri: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The "Weather Starstreaks North South 01" effect has issues since it was created. The effect only seems to work if the player is traveling at full impulse. Consider using the "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect and reorienting the map so the player is coming from the east.
Bridge - USS Draig Goch Cymru: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Optional dialogue versus triggered dialogue. Same comment as above.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Name: The Writers of History
ID: ST-HHSLC2PJA
Author: Donkyhotay
Faction: Federation
Level: Any
Duration: 15-45 minutes
This is my first mission so I'm quite interested in what people think of it. As I'm certain you've heard from others, thank you for taking your time to review all of these missions.
Hi Donkyhotay,
Welcome to the queue. Your mission is currently 12th in the queue behind KineticImpulser. As most folks here have read and know I am working very long hours during the week and have only recently starting having my weekends off again. What this means for those in the queue is that I will get through your mission as soon as I can and will post on the forums once I am finished.
Yeah I'm aware how busy you must be. I just appreciate someone willing to provide critique of missions regardless of how long it takes for them to get to it.
Do not be afraid to joust a giant just because some people insist on believing in windmills.
Check out my foundry mission "The Writers of History".
Sure I could always use another opinion of my mission, thank you.
Name: GRIZZ's Farmer - The Siren Star
ID: ST-H0XZ5Z67B
Author: chitowngrizz420
Faction: Federation
Level: 46+
Duration: 15-25 min
Like many players I play EC farming missions for resources and with several characters. Doing a farmer several times a day on multiple toons made me realize that 99% of the farming missions are very plain and basic boring grind missions. I thought why can't there be a farmer that can entertain us while we farm! This inspired me to create a unique short story EC farmer. It uses the classic farm set up that has been worked into the story along with custom map backgrounds and visuals. So far in less than month it has received great responses from players tired of the same old daily grinding missions that can put players to sleep.
evil70th, I am looking for reviews too; I'd love to hear what you think of my mission.
Thanks!
Name: Cero Troubles
ID: ST-HQJQM996X
Author: CougarXLS
Faction: Starfleet
Level: 16+
Duration: 40+ mins (about 30 mins if you skip the dialogue)
On a world where peoples of many different species peacefully co-exist, tragedy has struck. A plague is threatening almost all life on the planet. While some believe that this plague is naturally occurring, there have been reports that the virus was artificially generated.
This world has rejected advanced technology on the surface, in favour of a simple way of life. They do not have the medical abilities and technologies to combat this plague.
An investigation into this plague will leading to a shocking discovery that threatens the whole sector, and may have serious consequences for Starfleet.
Thought I would put in my mission here for you to review.
Name: All Roads Lead To Rome
ID: ST-HRPGRETGV
Author: horriblecat
Faction: Starfleet
Level: 31+
Duration: Roughly about 20 to 25 minutes
This is my first attempt at the foundry so I am hoping I did well. I added a lot of personal feel to he storyline with main and side characters I created that represent crew on "your" ship. The story is one that I actually have a great conclusion for. This one is interesting to say the least and it was difficult to put what was in my head into the limited foundry resources. Let me know what you think of it.
I still may do a revision of it later on after finals are done with and I have more free time to develop a more concrete story.
Admiral in Peril v1 @antman9173
Fed 41+
run time: (1 captain) between 15~25 minutes (team) longer (haven't tested)
The mission actually starts out at ESD console outside transporter despite the mission text as I'm still testing and fine tuning, but i wanted a good critic before i tweak anymore as the mission is pretty much done. Your reviews are very well structured and I enjoy the refreshing positive and constructive critiquing.
Sure I could always use another opinion of my mission, thank you.
Name: GRIZZ's Farmer - The Siren Star
ID: ST-H0XZ5Z67B
Author: chitowngrizz420
Faction: Federation
Level: 46+
Duration: 15-25 min
Like many players I play EC farming missions for resources and with several characters. Doing a farmer several times a day on multiple toons made me realize that 99% of the farming missions are very plain and basic boring grind missions. I thought why can't there be a farmer that can entertain us while we farm! This inspired me to create a unique short story EC farmer. It uses the classic farm set up that has been worked into the story along with custom map backgrounds and visuals. So far in less than month it has received great responses from players tired of the same old daily grinding missions that can put players to sleep.
Hi chitowngrizz420,
Welcome to the queue. You are currently 12th in the queue behind donkyhotay. I will post here once I finish the review.
evil70th, I am looking for reviews too; I'd love to hear what you think of my mission.
Thanks!
Name: Cero Troubles
ID: ST-HQJQM996X
Author: CougarXLS
Faction: Starfleet
Level: 16+
Duration: 40+ mins (about 30 mins if you skip the dialogue)
On a world where peoples of many different species peacefully co-exist, tragedy has struck. A plague is threatening almost all life on the planet. While some believe that this plague is naturally occurring, there have been reports that the virus was artificially generated.
This world has rejected advanced technology on the surface, in favour of a simple way of life. They do not have the medical abilities and technologies to combat this plague.
An investigation into this plague will leading to a shocking discovery that threatens the whole sector, and may have serious consequences for Starfleet.
-CougarXLS
Hi CougarXLS,
Thanks for submitting your mission for review. You are currently 13th in the queue behind chitowngrizz420. I will get to the mission as soon as I can will and post the review here upon completion.
Thought I would put in my mission here for you to review.
Name: All Roads Lead To Rome
ID: ST-HRPGRETGV
Author: horriblecat
Faction: Starfleet
Level: 31+
Duration: Roughly about 20 to 25 minutes
This is my first attempt at the foundry so I am hoping I did well. I added a lot of personal feel to he storyline with main and side characters I created that represent crew on "your" ship. The story is one that I actually have a great conclusion for. This one is interesting to say the least and it was difficult to put what was in my head into the limited foundry resources. Let me know what you think of it.
I still may do a revision of it later on after finals are done with and I have more free time to develop a more concrete story.
Hi horriblecat,
Welcome to the queue. Your mission is currently 14th in the queue behind CougarXLS. I will post the review here upon completion.
Comments
No problem, Brian. I can imagine the amount of effort you put into analyzing all these missions. The detail you put into it shows... and that's not even your job lol.
Hope you get some good rest and feel better.
by @Skydawn - member of Starbase UGC
My Foundry missions | My STO Wiki page | My Twitter home page
God, lvl 60 CW. 17k.
To everyone in the queue I would like to apologize for the long wait for review. I received a promotion at work, which placed me in charge of a new program that requires a large amount of my attention. Up until this week I was working half days (read that as half of a 24 hour period) plus weekends.
While I am still working those "half days" during the week my boss has decided it is better not to burn us all out completely, so he has decreed that weekend work is only authorized in extreme circumstances. Therefore I plan to resume my mission reviews albeit at a slightly elongated rate. This means I will be resuming my review of the queue one or two missions per weekend. I will get to the missions as soon as I can.
Thank you for your patience,
Brian
Federation Mission - Dark Alliance 2: Black Spiral
Author: Skydawn
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HDSFSEJNA
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission in the series. The map designs are good, with excellent innovative techniques that worked very well. The battles are tough, but fun and there are plenty of them to keep even the most battle hardened player entertained. The story dialogue is excellent and kept me riveted to my seat with a desire to see what came next. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who love great maps, tough battles, and excellent story dialogue. You will love this mission and the series so far.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a nice simple grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Consider adding the start location for the first custom map to the initial task.. It will make it easier for the player to find it. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good simple use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
Belias Orbit: This is a good map design with tough, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
The Aurora Lounge: This is a great map design with tough battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
New Aurora Compound - East: This is a great map design with tough battles and excellent story dialogue. The Aurora Tram design was very well done. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
New Aurora Compound - North: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I had one question regarding the away team:
-Is the away team being isolated so far away a glitch? I realize they were not needed on this map and it made the story work better, but if it was not a glitch then how did you do it? I am sure there are many authors that would love to find an easier way to isolate the away team rather trying to move the spawn point close to an edge so they become trapped.
Unknown Star Cluster: This is a good map design with a fun battle and excellent story dialogue. It is a good wrap up to this mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Miranian battle ship has photonic Galor's with it.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission and I look forward with anticipation to the 3rd installment in the series.
Brian
This critique report also filed 03/30/2013 on forum posting for: Dark Alliance Series.
I think the only fix for that would be to change from Cardassian ships to another faction - which may or may not be impossible. :P
Infinite possibilities have implications that could not be completely understood if you turned this entire universe into a giant supercomputer.
Author: Kempoh
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: KDF
Project ID: ST-HPMKGUFQQ
Estimated Mission Length: 20m+
Greetings, this is my second Foundry mission, i'm very new to the Foundry so i hope you enjoy as much i did in making it.
it's a simple mission, to test mechanics in preparing my long series Alone in the Dark Series published a year ago, still need alot of work.
I thank you for the feedback you can give.
Oh, and english in not my first language, i am trying to get a friend to help me with better grammar, so don't hate me for it
Hi Kempoh,
Welcome to the queue. I never hate anyone for bad grammar or spelling. I merely indicate where it can be improved.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Federation Mission - Fluidic Relations
Author: renegadesteve
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HH3WUJKJU
Report Start
Summary: This is a good, space combat oriented, mission with enough dialogue to move the story forward. The map designs are well done with several, very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written but needs a little work as indicated below. I would definitely recommend this mission but nor on Elite. It was tough enough on Normal.
I mention the use of the response button "Continue" on every map. This is something I usually recommend the player uses to help tell the story and include the player as more a participant rather than just a reader of the story. This is particularly true when it comes to the "Captain" responding to a BOFF report or dialog from an NPC. An exception to this would be when reading log entry or something along those lines, but even in those circumstances I recommend the use of "..." as an alternative. Yes I know Cryptic missions use the response button "Continue" a lot. In my opinion it seems unlikely that a Captain would simply say "Continue". This is my personal opinion.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Help the aenar Admiral figure out" to read "Help the Admiral figure out". The does not appear to be a reason to define her species. The player will figure that out when they accept the mission.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue are well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Consider adding the start location for the first custom map to the initial mission task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
Starbase 653: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Starbase 653 - Space: This map does not appear to be needed. Consider changing the map transfer dialogue on the previous map to indicate the ship is to warp as soon as the player is aboard. Then go directly to the Xi Cassiopeiae System map.
Xi Cassiopeiae System: This is a good map design with several very tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Roger that Captain" to read "Aye Captain". That would be more professional.
-The use of the response button "Continue". I will cover this in more detail in my summary.
Fluidic Space: This is a good map design with several very tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Unknown Undine Facility: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider changing "Surely you must have noticed by we are not like the others" to read "Surely you must have noticed by now we are not like the others"
-Consider changing "But to undertand why we are" to read "But to understand why we are".
-Consider not changing the image of the Psi Master Tvalo to the Vulcan science officer until he says "I was disguised as this". It will look better and flow with the dialogue.
-Consider changing "did you know what I found" to read "do you know what I found".
-Consider changing "you are more than happy to use our communications array" to read "you are more than welcome to use our communications array".
-Consider changing "You can send the Undine to warp to Starbase 653" to read "You can have the Undine warp to Starbase 653".
Evacuation: This is a good map design with several very tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
Starbase 653 - Space: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider changing "your presence down over here on the planet" to read "your presence on the planet".
-Consider changing "She has decided to approve of the colonization of Selvis VI" to read "She has approved the Undine colonization of Selvis VI".
Colony: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider changing "and it all thanks to you" to read "and it is all thanks to you".
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job developing this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 03/31/2013 on forum posting for: Fluidic Relations by renegadesteve.
I'll probably change some of the things like Continue to something else. The only reason I had Starbase 653 - Space was to have the animation where you warp your ship to instead of poof you are there. I'm going to change some things around based on the suggestions.
Thanks for the review man
Glad I could help.
Thank you for authoring,
Brian
It's been a long time coming, but it's finally here...
Mission Name: Overture 6: Finale with Cannonade
Author: @KineticImpulser
Minimum Level: Any
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HECU5DAJR
Estimated Mission Length: 100-120 min
Overture 6 Final Trailer
Hope you're getting more time off these days!
Thank you again for this fantastic review. My time has become a bit more limited as well, but hopefully I'll be able to make the next part of this series to top the last. I didn't know the last battleship had P.G.s with it. I'll look into that.
Now, about the away team separation in New Aurora Compound - North.... It was originally just a bug that I couldn't fix, so instead I just used it as part of my story. I haven't quite yet gotten the technique down where I can do it 100% of the time, and so far it only works on certain maps, but I guess I'll share what I learned so far:
The trick is that on some maps (like Forest Clearing 01 for example), BOff pathing seems to fail on building block platforms whenever they encounter another object. If they even brush across anything, they will fall right through that spot of the platform to the terrain. On this particular map, I set it up to where the BOffs would spawn into an invisible wall on the edge of the platform near the tram entrance.
If any are remaining, it's possible for them to fall through on the comm platform, and then again on the narrow bridge. In the unlikely event (though I haven't seen it happen yet) that one still makes it across with you, or they eventually fix this bug, I also had a platform vanish behind you during the fall, then reappear once you're in the spiral. I've successfully duplicated this again on another mission, but I want to test it out a little more until I can get it to work with 100% effectiveness.
by @Skydawn - member of Starbase UGC
Hey KineticImpulser,
Welcome back to the queue. You are currently 13th in the queue behind Kempoh. I actually work much longer hours during the week but we are back to weekends off. With that in mind my goal is to do at least one mission review a weekend, two if I can. I will get to your mission as soon as I can.
As always, thanks for authoring,
Brian
Glad I could help. Trust me; I understand time limitations being placed on you. Real life interferes from time to time.
A in consistent bug is an issue. You should consider reporting the bug and letting it get fixed, eventually. We should add an "Optional Away Team" feature to the list of things we would like to see in the Foundry.
Thanks for authoring, and keep it up.
Brian
I completely agree. I actually reported it right away in this post here. Problem is, it never got fixed. The compound was originally one entire map. I split them up as a workaround and built the tram, so even if it does get fixed, the mission would still work as intended.
I would love to see an "Optional Away Team" feature, and the "Limited" away team that we see in some featured episodes and New Romulus would be great too.
by @Skydawn - member of Starbase UGC
That is a great idea. Let's hope we see those as options for Foundry authors one day. As always I am glad I could help, even if it is limited help at this point.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Federation Mission - The Tangled Webs We Weave
Author: ashtaku
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HH4IN2WUC
Report Start
Summary: This is a good combat oriented story mission, with several tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. The options to take the mission in different directions depending on story dialogue choices are well done. The map designs are very well done. I would definitely recommend this mission to other players, although not on Elite level. It is a fun mission to play.
The "Optional Dialogue" using the standard dialogue insertion in the Foundry has always annoyed me. This is not your fault but the developers should add the option to make the dialogue go away after the player interacts. At present the other ways to do that are to make the dialogue part of the story or use triggered dialogue but that does not show up on the map. That is not something you control but something we should all consider asking for the developers to create.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The basic dialogue is well done but you should consider removing the duplicate [OOC] dialogue explaining the Episode type and other information already covered in the description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Consider adding the start location for the first custom map.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
Reytan System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
U.S.S. Yamato Bridge: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Starbase 24: This is a good map with several tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
A.C.S. Ranok Interior: This is a good map with several tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
A.C.S. Ranok CIC: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
A.C.S. Ranok Engineering Spaces: This is a good map with some tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding a respawn point further into the map.
Transporter Room 2: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The door sealing the room is too high and does not look right. Consider lowering it to be more in line with the floor.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 04/13/2013 on forum posting for: The Tangled Webs We Weave
ID: ST-HHSLC2PJA
Author: Donkyhotay
Faction: Federation
Level: Any
Duration: 15-45 minutes
This is my first mission so I'm quite interested in what people think of it. As I'm certain you've heard from others, thank you for taking your time to review all of these missions.
Check out my foundry mission "The Writers of History".
Federation Mission - 404 Error: Admiral Not Found
Author: dougglendower
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HAOSHU7Q6
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission that combines good map design, tough, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who love those combinations in a mission. You will enjoy this mission as much as I did.
As I mentioned in an earlier review I feel the "Optional Dialogue" used as standard dialogue insertion in the Foundry is extremely limiting. Several authors have found a way to use triggered dialogue as optional dialogue. The benefit is the dialogue can be configured to go away after the player interacts with it. The drawback of this is that triggered dialogue does not show up on the map. That is not something you can control but something we should all consider asking for the developers to create.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description; however you should consider changing the last sentence. It is a given that orders can and will change in the event of an emergency. We already know there is going to be an emergency, but you do not need to telegraph so blatantly.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
Rho Geminorum III: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect you used for this map is a good but with the spawn point set up it appears to be backwards. Consider reorienting the map so the player is coming from the east.
-As you set up your interactions with dialogue prompts remember that not all players stop automatically when dialogue appears. In some circumstances they may fly past the next prompt if they are slow in reading your dialogue. It is a delicate balance between making the player fly too far to the next prompt and providing in depth story dialogue.
Castor: This is a good map design with some fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I note one item to consider changing:
-The "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect you used for this map. Same comment as above.
Bridge: This is a good map design with some tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Optional dialogue versus triggered dialogue. Using triggered dialogue instead of optional dialogue allows the author to make the dialogue to go away after the player interacts with it.
-The Flight Deck officer is typing in the air. Consider moving him to the right or left so he is centered on a console.
-Consider moving the respawn point for the flight deck into the control vice the passageway.
-If you are going to have the player go from one side of the map to the other and back again consider adding something in the middle to drive that move. Running from one side of the map to the other and back again can be annoying.
-You have some crew lying on the deck that are convulsing. You should have triggered dialogue that when the player comes near them they can examine and offer help to the crewman lying there.
Castor Exit: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider moving either the big asteroid in the way of the player or move the spawn point so the asteroid is not blocking the path to the warp out point.
-Consider moving the warp out point closer so the player is not flying half way across the map for a simple map transfer point. That can be annoying.
Rho-1 Cancri: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The "Weather Starstreaks North South 01" effect has issues since it was created. The effect only seems to work if the player is traveling at full impulse. Consider using the "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect and reorienting the map so the player is coming from the east.
Bridge - USS Draig Goch Cymru: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Optional dialogue versus triggered dialogue. Same comment as above.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Hi Donkyhotay,
Welcome to the queue. Your mission is currently 12th in the queue behind KineticImpulser. As most folks here have read and know I am working very long hours during the week and have only recently starting having my weekends off again. What this means for those in the queue is that I will get through your mission as soon as I can and will post on the forums once I am finished.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Check out my foundry mission "The Writers of History".
Name: GRIZZ's Farmer - The Siren Star
ID: ST-H0XZ5Z67B
Author: chitowngrizz420
Faction: Federation
Level: 46+
Duration: 15-25 min
Like many players I play EC farming missions for resources and with several characters. Doing a farmer several times a day on multiple toons made me realize that 99% of the farming missions are very plain and basic boring grind missions. I thought why can't there be a farmer that can entertain us while we farm! This inspired me to create a unique short story EC farmer. It uses the classic farm set up that has been worked into the story along with custom map backgrounds and visuals. So far in less than month it has received great responses from players tired of the same old daily grinding missions that can put players to sleep.
Fleet Admiral GRIZZ
U.S.S. Chicago NCC 1833-C
Sector 31 ANTKB
ANTKB Gaming Community
Thanks!
Name: Cero Troubles
ID: ST-HQJQM996X
Author: CougarXLS
Faction: Starfleet
Level: 16+
Duration: 40+ mins (about 30 mins if you skip the dialogue)
On a world where peoples of many different species peacefully co-exist, tragedy has struck. A plague is threatening almost all life on the planet. While some believe that this plague is naturally occurring, there have been reports that the virus was artificially generated.
This world has rejected advanced technology on the surface, in favour of a simple way of life. They do not have the medical abilities and technologies to combat this plague.
An investigation into this plague will leading to a shocking discovery that threatens the whole sector, and may have serious consequences for Starfleet.
-CougarXLS
Thought I would put in my mission here for you to review.
Name: All Roads Lead To Rome
ID: ST-HRPGRETGV
Author: horriblecat
Faction: Starfleet
Level: 31+
Duration: Roughly about 20 to 25 minutes
This is my first attempt at the foundry so I am hoping I did well. I added a lot of personal feel to he storyline with main and side characters I created that represent crew on "your" ship. The story is one that I actually have a great conclusion for. This one is interesting to say the least and it was difficult to put what was in my head into the limited foundry resources. Let me know what you think of it.
I still may do a revision of it later on after finals are done with and I have more free time to develop a more concrete story.
Admiral in Peril v1
@antman9173
Fed 41+
run time: (1 captain) between 15~25 minutes (team) longer (haven't tested)
The mission actually starts out at ESD console outside transporter despite the mission text as I'm still testing and fine tuning, but i wanted a good critic before i tweak anymore as the mission is pretty much done. Your reviews are very well structured and I enjoy the refreshing positive and constructive critiquing.
Hi chitowngrizz420,
Welcome to the queue. You are currently 12th in the queue behind donkyhotay. I will post here once I finish the review.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi CougarXLS,
Thanks for submitting your mission for review. You are currently 13th in the queue behind chitowngrizz420. I will get to the mission as soon as I can will and post the review here upon completion.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi horriblecat,
Welcome to the queue. Your mission is currently 14th in the queue behind CougarXLS. I will post the review here upon completion.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian