Admiral in Peril v1 @antman9173
Fed 41+
run time: (1 captain) between 15~25 minutes (team) longer (haven't tested)
The mission actually starts out at ESD console outside transporter despite the mission text as I'm still testing and fine tuning, but i wanted a good critic before i tweak anymore as the mission is pretty much done. Your reviews are very well structured and I enjoy the refreshing positive and constructive critiquing.
Hi antman9173,
Welcome to the queue. You are currently 15th in the queue behind horriblecat. I will post the review here once it is completed.
Hey. I'm glad to see you're still enjoying reviewing missions. Hope you're doing well. I have a little review request for you.
Mission Name: Demons from the past
Author: @diogene0
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Estimated Mission Length: under 45 minutes, unless you're using a cruiser. In this case you may add 10 minutes.
I hope I missed less typos this time, i've been slaving over my dictionary and grammar book for hours!
Thanks for your review.
Federation Mission - Demons from the past
Author: diogene0
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HO8FMV3YH
Report Start
Summary: This is a good mission with great map designs, several tough battles, and well written story dialogue. I would highly recommend this mission to all players but not on Elite level. I definitely enjoyed playing the mission.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a very detailed description with intriguing story description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: This is a good initial mission task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Reception hall: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I note one item to consider changing;
-This is a minor issue and one of choice. Consider changing the optional dialogue to triggered dialogue that goes away after the player interacts.
Mol'Rihan VI: This is a good map design with several tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I note one item to consider changing;
-The battle is already engaged when the player enters. This leaves little or no time to read. Consider triggering the combat to start with a trigger post initial dialogue.
Internment Camp: This is a good map design with several tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-At the initial spawn point some of the away team is stuck in the ground.
-Consider adding respawn points closer to the building.
Mol'Rihan space: This is a good map design with some tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I note one item to consider changing;
-The choices at the end are good; however you need to set up the triggers to make the other choice disappear depending on the player selecting the opposite choice.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job developing this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
ID: ST-HQ7JQ5IID
Title: Never Count a Gorn Out
Author: @Maziken
Faction: KDF
Playtime: 40 to 60 minutes
Difficulty: Tough
Description: A secret Federation starbase has been revealed and you are ordered to infiltrate it to gather as much data as you can. Will you sneak your way through the installation, only alerting those Starfleet Officers that you must, or will you eradicate every last one of them from the starbase?
Thanks in advance!
Klingon Mission - Never Count a Gorn Out
Author: Maziken
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HQ7JQ5IID
Report Start
Summary: This is a good mission with excellent map designs, several tough, but glorious battles, and great story dialogue. There were a few issues with the layout of the optional dialogue triggers on the "Federation Starbase" map discussed below. The fact that you used trigger able dialogue as a means to move the mission forward is great but the execution of them needs some work. Despite that I thoroughly enjoyed the mission and would highly recommend the mission to other players.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good detailed description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Consider adding the start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Donatu System, Eta Eridani Sector: This is a good map design with several tough but glorious battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-You need to add a respawn point closer to the broken planet or scale back the number of enemy mobs.
Federation Starbase: This is a good map design with several tough but glorious battles. The story dialogue is well written and I liked the use of optional dialogue, however you need to consider reworking the way they are deployed. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The setup of the Gorn life signs being detected in the south corridor needs better setup. If the player goes down and rescues the Gorn nothing happens until much later, so it seems to be pointless until later. You should set up the triggers so if the enemy mob guarding the Gorn is killed the Gorn starts talking. As it is now that does not trigger until after the player goes to the door to exit. Having the player run back and forth on the map is pointless and annoying.
Donatu System: This is a good map design with several tough but glorious battles. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Hello Evil. I love your in depth reviews. Just published my first mission: A time to search by @lincolninspace. It is still under review and needs played aa few times. Thanks in advance
A TIME TO SEARCH: ENTER MY FOUNDRY MISSION at the RISA SYSTEM Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
I love checking this thread for some great missions.
Its been awhile since I've been able to put a mission out. Hopefully I'll have more time in the coming months to play around in the foundry some more. I was able to slowly put together this one though.
A troublesome mystery leads your crew to a devious plot hatched by a long lost Starfleet crew who are consumed by a madness that knows no bounds. You must take your ship and crew on a journey where logic need not endeavor and where heroes fear to tread. Can you and your crew solve the riddle in time to save everyone?
Report to the Lirss System in the Iota Pavonis Sector Block and delve into the mayhem and persevere the treachery.
Reading is required Multiple dialog options with multiple outcomes TAC/SCI/ENG skills used to resolve puzzles/battles
-Treknobabble
-Historical/scientific/engineering research
-Trek canon/lore
-Numerous details related to Star Trek's shows, toys, movies, and STO
--All used to bring you a fully immersive mission.(Feel free to alt+tab and look up any info you find)
P.S
Seriously, alt+tab at stuff you find (if you're an info junkie like me). It was mostly coincidence, but the fact that things came together so well blew my mind.
Mission Name: Task Force Sol
Author: usmcprim
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: FED
Estimated Mission Length: 45 min - 1 1/2 hrs
Hi evildeadx1,
I assume you are submitting this mission on behalf of the author? Or is the difference in the author name and your name because of the switch to PerfectWorld? Thanks for the review request. This mission is currently 15th in the queue behind antman9173. I will post the review here upon completion.
Hello Evil. I love your in depth reviews. Just published my first mission: A time to search by @lincolninspace. It is still under review and needs played aa few times. Thanks in advance
Hi lincolninspace,
I am glad you enjoy my reviews. Welcome to the queue. Your mission is 16th in the queue behind usmcprim. Is this mission Federation or Klingon? I will get to this mission as soon as I can and post the review here when completed.
I love checking this thread for some great missions.
Its been awhile since I've been able to put a mission out. Hopefully I'll have more time in the coming months to play around in the foundry some more. I was able to slowly put together this one though.
A troublesome mystery leads your crew to a devious plot hatched by a long lost Starfleet crew who are consumed by a madness that knows no bounds. You must take your ship and crew on a journey where logic need not endeavor and where heroes fear to tread. Can you and your crew solve the riddle in time to save everyone?
Report to the Lirss System in the Iota Pavonis Sector Block and delve into the mayhem and persevere the treachery.
Reading is required Multiple dialog options with multiple outcomes TAC/SCI/ENG skills used to resolve puzzles/battles
-Treknobabble
-Historical/scientific/engineering research
-Trek canon/lore
-Numerous details related to Star Trek's shows, toys, movies, and STO
--All used to bring you a fully immersive mission.(Feel free to alt+tab and look up any info you find)
P.S
Seriously, alt+tab at stuff you find (if you're an info junkie like me). It was mostly coincidence, but the fact that things came together so well blew my mind.
Hi dewey001,
Welcome back to the queue. I am glad my posting helps authors refine their missions and regular players missions to play. I understand not having enough time to play or work on missions. The promotion I got at work keeps me pretty busy so I am only able to review on weekends. I try to get to a couple per weekend but that does not always work. Your mission is 17th in the queue behind lincolninspace. I will post the review here once it is completed.
Your mission is 17th in the queue behind lincolninspace. I will post the review here once it is completed.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
I was gonna tell you my mission needs a little spit and polish before you review it but it will be totallly finished well before the time you get to it.
A TIME TO SEARCH: ENTER MY FOUNDRY MISSION at the RISA SYSTEM Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
I was gonna tell you my mission needs a little spit and polish before you review it but it will be totallly finished well before the time you get to it.
Okay. Thanks for the heads up, but I think you are right, it will be a little bit before I get to your mission.
At long last, the Ghosts of War saga is now complete!
Mission Name: Ghosts of War, Part VI (aka "Time's Hammer")
Author: NCC-89471
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Federation
ID: ST-HB3UDU2GK
Playtime: 30-45 min
I expect to be tweaking this mission a lot based on feedback, especially Map 7, which is probably the most complex and SFX-laden map I've ever done. (Hint: It features a huge ground battle that doesn't involve you, and that you must sidestep as you carry out your objectives; defend yourself if you have to but don't go wading into the fray unless absolutely necessary.)
Federation Mission - Ghosts of War, Part VI (aka "Time's Hammer")
Author: NCC-89471
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HB3UDU2GK
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission and excellent wrap up to the entire series. The map designs are excellent, the battles tough, but fun, and the story dialogue is outstanding. While I would not recommend this mission on Elite level I would highly recommend this mission and the entire series to all players.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the entry prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: 1: Typhon Expanse (Space): This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
2: Celtris III (Space): This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
3: Celtris III (North Pole): This is a good map design with tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
4: Celtris III (Caves): This is a great map design with tough but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
5: Celtris III (Caves): This is a great map design with tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Some of the enslaved crew members to be tagged for beam out are all cowering in fear in unison. It looks odd.
6: Celtris III (Caves): This is a good map design with tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
7: Celtris III (Caves): This is a good map design with a tough but fun battle taking place in the chamber while you try to resolve the tasks. The other battles are tough but fun and the story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
8: Celtris III (Space): This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
9: Verena III (Space): This is a great map design with good story dialogue that makes it a great wrap up to the mission and the series. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission and the entire series. As always I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Do you give reports missions still only available to reviewers? Or only after they have been approved for general audience? Mine is still in the review stage but if you could give me some feedback on it, either as it is or once it's been approved I would greatly appreciate it. From what I've seen so far your reviews are exactly the kind of feedback I'm looking for to improve this and future projects.
Summary: This is a good, heavy combat oriented mission with nice map designs, very tough battles, and well written story dialogue. I would definitely recommend this mission to other players, although not on Elite. It was a lot of fun.
I mention the use of the response button "Continue" on every map. This is something I usually recommend the player uses to help tell the story and include the player as more a participant rather than just a reader of the story. This is particularly true when it comes to the "Captain" responding to a BOFF report or dialog from an NPC. An exception to this would be when reading log entry or something along those lines, but even in those circumstances I recommend the use of "..." as an alternative. Yes I know Cryptic missions use the response button "Continue" a lot. In my opinion it seems unlikely that a Captain would simply say "Continue". This is my personal opinion.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue are well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Your initial task needs to include the start location for the first custom map. This will make it easier for the player to find your mission. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Imman Nebula (Sierra Outpost System): This is a good map design with tough but fun battles and well written dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue". I will cover this in more detail in my summary.
-The post "Hail the Trident" dialogue; consider changing "I would hypothosise that they are cloacked mines" to read "I would hypothesize that they are cloaked mines".
Freighter: This is a good map design with very tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider adding respawn points deeper into the map.
Dissanti System Approach: This is a good map design with tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
Mine Factory: This is a good map design with very tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-One of the warheads does not disappear when you pick it up. Consider changing it so that warhead disappears when the player picks it up.
-The "Scan Door" stays in place if the player does not use it and blows the door. Consider changing it to disappear if the player uses the "Place Warhead By Door" task.
Dissanti System Exit: This is a good map design with tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job developing this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Cheers for that Evil. The "Continue" thing is something I've done my best to address for my Foundry Contest mission (Alpha Flight if you're curious), in which I think I managed to remove all of them and replace them with a little more interesting dialogue. I agree that just because Cryptic uses "Continue" a lot doesn't make it a good thing
Good notes on the rewording and addition of a respawn marker, when I get some more free time I'll get onto those and the Scan Door interaction lingering.
The warhead lingering was the best I could manage without being able to use OR gates on triggers. It was either this, having the mine disappear when the shield is lowered, or having player able to plant the first mine and have it do nothing even after they solve the puzzle. It was the best solution I could find from a bad situation.
Thanks again for this, I think what you're doing here in this thread is really excellent work, helping the new and experienced alike improve. I learned a lot from reading your feedback to other people's missions, keep up the good work!
I will be reposting my foundry mission probably in the next few days and under the same title. I have gone through and reworked the dialog and worked on a few bugs that I saw as well as remove a map or two that was kind of useless. Look for it in a few days and thanks for the review ahead of time.
Also I am working on a three part series that shows promise and I will post it asap.
Thanks for finally getting to my mission, O Evil one. Though truth be told, by the time you did, it had already been subjected to many other reviews and revisions (which is probably why you found so little fault with it). Map 7 in particular has proven very hard to get right.
As for the one suggestion you made, I'm not sure how to fix the "cowering in unison" issue or even if it can be fixed. I think that has more to do with the game and/or graphics engines than with map design.
Reposting my mission for you to review. I have added several improvements to the gameplay.
Name: All Roads Lead To Rome
ID: ST-HRPGRETGV
Author: horriblecat
Faction: Starfleet
Level: 31+
Duration: Roughly about 30 to 35 minutes
Description
A routine mission is interrupted by a message from Starfleet. Prepare for an engaging mission into a system that is on the edge of Federation space. Engage in a compelling story with many twists and turns and a hidden agenda that goes all the way to the top. Combat near the end and hopefully a wonderful climax to leave you wanting the sequel
This is my first mission so please offer feedback on how I can improve future missions as well as this one.
Sorry. I am LA for a Knights of LOJ meeting. I plan to get back into the queue on Sunday. For those that have submitted missions for review I will add them to the queue in the morning.
Hello Evil,
I have a special request if you find the time to spare. Could you post the list of your que? I think I was in there a while back but I've lost track...
Don't let them promote you. Don't let them transfer you. Don't let them do anything that takes you off the bridge of that ship, because while you're there... you can make a difference.
-Captain James T. Kirk
Cheers for that Evil. The "Continue" thing is something I've done my best to address for my Foundry Contest mission (Alpha Flight if you're curious), in which I think I managed to remove all of them and replace them with a little more interesting dialogue. I agree that just because Cryptic uses "Continue" a lot doesn't make it a good thing
Good notes on the rewording and addition of a respawn marker, when I get some more free time I'll get onto those and the Scan Door interaction lingering.
The warhead lingering was the best I could manage without being able to use OR gates on triggers. It was either this, having the mine disappear when the shield is lowered, or having player able to plant the first mine and have it do nothing even after they solve the puzzle. It was the best solution I could find from a bad situation.
Thanks again for this, I think what you're doing here in this thread is really excellent work, helping the new and experienced alike improve. I learned a lot from reading your feedback to other people's missions, keep up the good work!
Perhaps I misunderstood what I was seeing. What I was referring to is that there are two warheads present. After I picked up one of the "warhead" it still remained there. When I picked up the second "warhead" it disappeared. As for the "Scan Door" option, if it a triggered event you should be able to make it go away based on another trigger for a different event. I hope that clears that up.
As always I am glad I could help and I really enjoyed the mission. I am glad that you have found this thread helpful in creating your missions. That is my goal, to give constructive feedback to other authors so they can make better missions, which enhance the playing experience for us all.
I will be reposting my foundry mission probably in the next few days and under the same title. I have gone through and reworked the dialog and worked on a few bugs that I saw as well as remove a map or two that was kind of useless. Look for it in a few days and thanks for the review ahead of time.
Also I am working on a three part series that shows promise and I will post it asap.
Reposting my mission for you to review. I have added several improvements to the gameplay.
Name: All Roads Lead To Rome
ID: ST-HRPGRETGV
Author: horriblecat
Faction: Starfleet
Level: 31+
Duration: Roughly about 30 to 35 minutes
Description
A routine mission is interrupted by a message from Starfleet. Prepare for an engaging mission into a system that is on the edge of Federation space. Engage in a compelling story with many twists and turns and a hidden agenda that goes all the way to the top. Combat near the end and hopefully a wonderful climax to leave you wanting the sequel
This is my first mission so please offer feedback on how I can improve future missions as well as this one.
Your mission is currently 11th in the queue. I am making progress on the queue, slowly but surely and will get to yours as quickly as I can.
Thanks for finally getting to my mission, O Evil one. Though truth be told, by the time you did, it had already been subjected to many other reviews and revisions (which is probably why you found so little fault with it). Map 7 in particular has proven very hard to get right.
As for the one suggestion you made, I'm not sure how to fix the "cowering in unison" issue or even if it can be fixed. I think that has more to do with the game and/or graphics engines than with map design.
Hi paxfederatica,
Sorry it took so long but real world work takes precedence over my fun time. It is how I can afford to do the fun things I like.
The cowering in unison could be resolved by making them each do something other than cower. Otherwise it looked as if they were exercising and not cowering. Some could be kneeling or anyone of a number of different activities. I noted it as a bit of a distraction from an otherwise enjoyable story. You did a great job in the development and if that was the only thing I found wrong by the time I got to the mission I would say you are doing a great job. Keep it up.
Name: The Beta Rana Incident
Author: marhawkman
faction: starfleet
Description: sTarfleet command needs you to investigate a solar system near Federation space to determine why the star has suddenly become unstable.
Hi marhawkman,
Welcome back to the queue. I do not have a record of having done this mission before. Your mission is currently 17th in the queue behind eldil1. It may be a while but I will get to your mission as soon as I can.
Thank you again, and I look forward to reading your report ^.^
Hi skyline45,
Welcome back to the queue. Your mission is currently 18th in the queue behind markhawkman. I am sorry for the long wait for mission reviews but my real world responsibilities take precedence over playing STO. As I mentioned above it is the way I can afford to spend time playing STO and doing the other fun things I like to do.
Hello Evil,
I have a special request if you find the time to spare. Could you post the list of your que? I think I was in there a while back but I've lost track...
Hi djf021
Your mission Desperate Prey is currently 3rd in the queue. I am getting ready to start the first mission in the queue and should be done with it this morning. I will get to yours as soon as I can. If not today most likely next weekend since it is a long weekend.
To all authors waiting patiently and others considering adding their missions to the queue:
If you are expecting a quick turnaround of an in depth mission review then you will be sadly disappointed. Please bear in mind I do not get paid, nor do I expect to get paid, for the reviews I do here. As I have stated above in other posts, my real world job and responsibilities take precedence over time I can spend on STO. My job has become that much more complex as I have been placed in charge of a program that keeps me occupied throughout the regular work week. The same level of attention you know I pay to your missions when I review them is the same level of dedication I show to my work and pretty much everything in my life. I will get to your missions as soon as I can but it will be a while for most of you.
If after reading this you wish to remove your mission from the queue I understand and please let me know. Otherwise I will get to your mission as soon as I can.
Comments
Hi antman9173,
Welcome to the queue. You are currently 15th in the queue behind horriblecat. I will post the review here once it is completed.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Federation Mission - Demons from the past
Author: diogene0
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HO8FMV3YH
Report Start
Summary: This is a good mission with great map designs, several tough battles, and well written story dialogue. I would highly recommend this mission to all players but not on Elite level. I definitely enjoyed playing the mission.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a very detailed description with intriguing story description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: This is a good initial mission task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
Reception hall: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I note one item to consider changing;
-This is a minor issue and one of choice. Consider changing the optional dialogue to triggered dialogue that goes away after the player interacts.
Mol'Rihan VI: This is a good map design with several tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I note one item to consider changing;
-The battle is already engaged when the player enters. This leaves little or no time to read. Consider triggering the combat to start with a trigger post initial dialogue.
Internment Camp: This is a good map design with several tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-At the initial spawn point some of the away team is stuck in the ground.
-Consider adding respawn points closer to the building.
Mol'Rihan space: This is a good map design with some tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I note one item to consider changing;
-The choices at the end are good; however you need to set up the triggers to make the other choice disappear depending on the player selecting the opposite choice.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job developing this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Klingon Mission - Never Count a Gorn Out
Author: Maziken
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HQ7JQ5IID
Report Start
Summary: This is a good mission with excellent map designs, several tough, but glorious battles, and great story dialogue. There were a few issues with the layout of the optional dialogue triggers on the "Federation Starbase" map discussed below. The fact that you used trigger able dialogue as a means to move the mission forward is great but the execution of them needs some work. Despite that I thoroughly enjoyed the mission and would highly recommend the mission to other players.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good detailed description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Consider adding the start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
Donatu System, Eta Eridani Sector: This is a good map design with several tough but glorious battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-You need to add a respawn point closer to the broken planet or scale back the number of enemy mobs.
Federation Starbase: This is a good map design with several tough but glorious battles. The story dialogue is well written and I liked the use of optional dialogue, however you need to consider reworking the way they are deployed. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The setup of the Gorn life signs being detected in the south corridor needs better setup. If the player goes down and rescues the Gorn nothing happens until much later, so it seems to be pointless until later. You should set up the triggers so if the enemy mob guarding the Gorn is killed the Gorn starts talking. As it is now that does not trigger until after the player goes to the door to exit. Having the player run back and forth on the map is pointless and annoying.
Donatu System: This is a good map design with several tough but glorious battles. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 05/05/2013 on forum posting for: Never Count a Gorn Out
Author: usmcprim
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: FED
Estimated Mission Length: 45 min - 1 1/2 hrs
Hello Evil. I love your in depth reviews. Just published my first mission: A time to search by @lincolninspace. It is still under review and needs played aa few times. Thanks in advance
Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
Its been awhile since I've been able to put a mission out. Hopefully I'll have more time in the coming months to play around in the foundry some more. I was able to slowly put together this one though.
Mission Name: Eternal Madness
Author: dewey001
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Starfleet
Project ID: ST-HQQZ4SOU7
Estimated Mission Length: 1hr15min
A troublesome mystery leads your crew to a devious plot hatched by a long lost Starfleet crew who are consumed by a madness that knows no bounds. You must take your ship and crew on a journey where logic need not endeavor and where heroes fear to tread. Can you and your crew solve the riddle in time to save everyone?
Report to the Lirss System in the Iota Pavonis Sector Block and delve into the mayhem and persevere the treachery.
Reading is required
Multiple dialog options with multiple outcomes
TAC/SCI/ENG skills used to resolve puzzles/battles
-Treknobabble
-Historical/scientific/engineering research
-Trek canon/lore
-Numerous details related to Star Trek's shows, toys, movies, and STO
--All used to bring you a fully immersive mission.(Feel free to alt+tab and look up any info you find)
P.S
Seriously, alt+tab at stuff you find (if you're an info junkie like me). It was mostly coincidence, but the fact that things came together so well blew my mind.
Hi evildeadx1,
I assume you are submitting this mission on behalf of the author? Or is the difference in the author name and your name because of the switch to PerfectWorld? Thanks for the review request. This mission is currently 15th in the queue behind antman9173. I will post the review here upon completion.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi lincolninspace,
I am glad you enjoy my reviews.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi dewey001,
Welcome back to the queue. I am glad my posting helps authors refine their missions and regular players missions to play.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
I was gonna tell you my mission needs a little spit and polish before you review it but it will be totallly finished well before the time you get to it.
Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
Okay. Thanks for the heads up, but I think you are right, it will be a little bit before I get to your mission.
Brian
Federation Mission - Ghosts of War, Part VI (aka "Time's Hammer")
Author: NCC-89471
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HB3UDU2GK
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission and excellent wrap up to the entire series. The map designs are excellent, the battles tough, but fun, and the story dialogue is outstanding. While I would not recommend this mission on Elite level I would highly recommend this mission and the entire series to all players.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the entry prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
1: Typhon Expanse (Space): This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
2: Celtris III (Space): This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
3: Celtris III (North Pole): This is a good map design with tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
4: Celtris III (Caves): This is a great map design with tough but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
5: Celtris III (Caves): This is a great map design with tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Some of the enslaved crew members to be tagged for beam out are all cowering in fear in unison. It looks odd.
6: Celtris III (Caves): This is a good map design with tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
7: Celtris III (Caves): This is a good map design with a tough but fun battle taking place in the chamber while you try to resolve the tasks. The other battles are tough but fun and the story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
8: Celtris III (Space): This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
9: Verena III (Space): This is a great map design with good story dialogue that makes it a great wrap up to the mission and the series. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission and the entire series. As always I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 05/11/13 on forum posting for: "Ghosts of War" mission series semi-official discussion thread.
Federation Mission - Minefield
Author: remairtamec
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HGETQAUOO
Report Start
Summary: This is a good, heavy combat oriented mission with nice map designs, very tough battles, and well written story dialogue. I would definitely recommend this mission to other players, although not on Elite. It was a lot of fun.
I mention the use of the response button "Continue" on every map. This is something I usually recommend the player uses to help tell the story and include the player as more a participant rather than just a reader of the story. This is particularly true when it comes to the "Captain" responding to a BOFF report or dialog from an NPC. An exception to this would be when reading log entry or something along those lines, but even in those circumstances I recommend the use of "..." as an alternative. Yes I know Cryptic missions use the response button "Continue" a lot. In my opinion it seems unlikely that a Captain would simply say "Continue". This is my personal opinion.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue are well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Your initial task needs to include the start location for the first custom map. This will make it easier for the player to find your mission. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
Imman Nebula (Sierra Outpost System): This is a good map design with tough but fun battles and well written dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue". I will cover this in more detail in my summary.
-The post "Hail the Trident" dialogue; consider changing "I would hypothosise that they are cloacked mines" to read "I would hypothesize that they are cloaked mines".
Freighter: This is a good map design with very tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider adding respawn points deeper into the map.
Dissanti System Approach: This is a good map design with tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
Mine Factory: This is a good map design with very tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-One of the warheads does not disappear when you pick it up. Consider changing it so that warhead disappears when the player picks it up.
-The "Scan Door" stays in place if the player does not use it and blows the door. Consider changing it to disappear if the player uses the "Place Warhead By Door" task.
Dissanti System Exit: This is a good map design with tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job developing this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 05/12/2013 on forum posting for: Minefield - ~45 minute story based foundry mission
Good notes on the rewording and addition of a respawn marker, when I get some more free time I'll get onto those and the Scan Door interaction lingering.
The warhead lingering was the best I could manage without being able to use OR gates on triggers. It was either this, having the mine disappear when the shield is lowered, or having player able to plant the first mine and have it do nothing even after they solve the puzzle. It was the best solution I could find from a bad situation.
Thanks again for this, I think what you're doing here in this thread is really excellent work, helping the new and experienced alike improve. I learned a lot from reading your feedback to other people's missions, keep up the good work!
Click for more details
Also I am working on a three part series that shows promise and I will post it asap.
Cheers,
Horriblecat.
I like the in-depth information you provide, so I was hoping you could take a look at mine...
Here is my Forum thread
Mission Name: Contact Squared
Author: eldil1
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HDKD38CDP
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 minutes
In Game Description:
Thank you in advance for your help...
My Missions
Contact Squared Part 1
Contact Squared Part 2
Contact Squared: Tribunal (coming soon)
Contact Squared: Shadows (coming... not as soon...)
As for the one suggestion you made, I'm not sure how to fix the "cowering in unison" issue or even if it can be fixed. I think that has more to do with the game and/or graphics engines than with map design.
My Foundry missions | My STO Wiki page | My Twitter home page
Reposting my mission for you to review. I have added several improvements to the gameplay.
Name: All Roads Lead To Rome
ID: ST-HRPGRETGV
Author: horriblecat
Faction: Starfleet
Level: 31+
Duration: Roughly about 30 to 35 minutes
Description
A routine mission is interrupted by a message from Starfleet. Prepare for an engaging mission into a system that is on the edge of Federation space. Engage in a compelling story with many twists and turns and a hidden agenda that goes all the way to the top. Combat near the end and hopefully a wonderful climax to leave you wanting the sequel
This is my first mission so please offer feedback on how I can improve future missions as well as this one.
Name: The Beta Rana Incident
Author: marhawkman
faction: starfleet
Description: sTarfleet command needs you to investigate a solar system near Federation space to determine why the star has suddenly become unstable.
My character Tsin'xing
Mission Name: The Wave Empire Ep.5
Author: skyline45
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HNN7Z42LT
Estimated Mission Length: 1hr
Method of Report Delivery: Just the normal place will do. http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=279751
Thank you again, and I look forward to reading your report ^.^
My Foundry Missions:
The Wave Empire Series: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=279751
I have a special request if you find the time to spare. Could you post the list of your que? I think I was in there a while back but I've lost track...
Don't let them promote you. Don't let them transfer you. Don't let them do anything that takes you off the bridge of that ship, because while you're there... you can make a difference.
-Captain James T. Kirk
Perhaps I misunderstood what I was seeing. What I was referring to is that there are two warheads present. After I picked up one of the "warhead" it still remained there. When I picked up the second "warhead" it disappeared. As for the "Scan Door" option, if it a triggered event you should be able to make it go away based on another trigger for a different event. I hope that clears that up.
As always I am glad I could help and I really enjoyed the mission. I am glad that you have found this thread helpful in creating your missions. That is my goal, to give constructive feedback to other authors so they can make better missions, which enhance the playing experience for us all.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Your mission is currently 11th in the queue. I am making progress on the queue, slowly but surely and will get to yours as quickly as I can.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi eldil1,
Welcome to the queue. Your mission is currently 16th in the queue behind dewey001. I will get to your mission as soon as I can.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi paxfederatica,
Sorry it took so long but real world work takes precedence over my fun time. It is how I can afford to do the fun things I like.
The cowering in unison could be resolved by making them each do something other than cower. Otherwise it looked as if they were exercising and not cowering.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi marhawkman,
Welcome back to the queue. I do not have a record of having done this mission before.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi skyline45,
Welcome back to the queue. Your mission is currently 18th in the queue behind markhawkman. I am sorry for the long wait for mission reviews but my real world responsibilities take precedence over playing STO. As I mentioned above it is the way I can afford to spend time playing STO and doing the other fun things I like to do.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi djf021
Your mission Desperate Prey is currently 3rd in the queue. I am getting ready to start the first mission in the queue and should be done with it this morning. I will get to yours as soon as I can. If not today most likely next weekend since it is a long weekend.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you are expecting a quick turnaround of an in depth mission review then you will be sadly disappointed. Please bear in mind I do not get paid, nor do I expect to get paid, for the reviews I do here. As I have stated above in other posts, my real world job and responsibilities take precedence over time I can spend on STO. My job has become that much more complex as I have been placed in charge of a program that keeps me occupied throughout the regular work week. The same level of attention you know I pay to your missions when I review them is the same level of dedication I show to my work and pretty much everything in my life. I will get to your missions as soon as I can but it will be a while for most of you.
If after reading this you wish to remove your mission from the queue I understand and please let me know. Otherwise I will get to your mission as soon as I can.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian