It was only in the last week, chico. Anyway, the synopsis of the whole "foundry war" debacle that chico mentioned is that the Investigate Officer Reports wrapper has been removed in the latest patch. I think this removal has upset a lot more people than the whole dilithium removal. because of the fact that they were playing the foundry just for the marks. The dilithium is still there, just as an automatic reward as chico has said.
I'll read your feedback a bit later. Thanks for doing it by the way!
Always happy to help. I just love playing the game, when work allows.
Summary: This is a good mission with excellent map designs, fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I would recommend this mission to all players. Your estimate of 20 minutes mission length is more like 45 minutes to an hour with the dialogue, which is not bad with a good story like yours, but you should consider putting in the option to skip dialogue and provide a summary to the player. I have seen this in other missions and used it myself.
In an immersive story the use of the response button "Continue" takes the player along as a passenger vice a participant. Consider drawing the player into the mission by adding more interaction from the player. Realizing that the Foundry is limited in what you can do to have the player more active in conversations, the use of [OOC] dialogue within that conversation gives the author that tool. I have seen it used in other missions and have used it myself. I have used the following;
[OOC][Rank] LastName]:
Story dialogue here.[/OOC]
You can also have additional dialogue after the [OOC] if needed and finish the player response in the response button.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is an intriguing and well written description. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Terrans do for the federation" to read "Terrans do for the Federation".
-Consider changing the "Note" section to [OOC] to make it stand out.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The task consider changing "Rendevous with U.S.S. Dirac" to read "Rendezvous with U.S.S. Dirac".
Mission Task: Consider adding the start location to the initial task to include the sector.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Rhi System: This is a nice simple, but short map with well written dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "IThe Dirac is hailing us sir" to read "The Dirac is hailing us sir".
Dirac Bridge: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue". I will note the maps this appears on and discuss it in the summary above.
Terran Hostiles: This is a good map design with a fun battle. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Edge of Rhi System: This is a good map design with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
Starbase 93: This is a nicely designed map but maybe a little short and I am not sure if it is needed. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
Starbase 93 conference level: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-The "Check out lounge" task seems unnecessary. I understand the purpose of this is to get the player out of the other room while you change it up, however the player does not seem to serve a purpose in the conversation that takes place. I'll cover this in the summary above, regarding use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider moving the trigger that has Tormek beam in. Also consider moving Tormek?s position so that the player walks right in where you currently have Tormek.
Rhi Rumble: This is a good map design with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Following the "Hold back ships" consider changing the "Interact" button to read "Report" or something along those lines.
Lexington Ready Room: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job with this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
I read through everything, and I was planning on overhauling the lounge portion to include the player, and possibly make the discussion more involved for a player. Captain Travis and Admiral Toren are two of my characters from an Star Trek RPG club that I belong to, while the other two are characters that I got permission to use from the people who own them.
I'll be doing the background to part two as soon as I have the changes to this one finished. I also have an unrelated mission coming up that is a conversion from the one I'm doing on my rpg club as a gamemaster (our term for the campaigns we do there, similar to a DM in D&D). That one though won't be live until the campaign ends, to avoid spoilers from my friends on there who play STO.
And just to let you know, I like being able to play the game. I'm not really bothered by these glitches being hyped up by the people in that 185 page thread in the News section of the forums.
I read through everything, and I was planning on overhauling the lounge portion to include the player, and possibly make the discussion more involved for a player. Captain Travis and Admiral Toren are two of my characters from an Star Trek RPG club that I belong to, while the other two are characters that I got permission to use from the people who own them.
I'll be doing the background to part two as soon as I have the changes to this one finished. I also have an unrelated mission coming up that is a conversion from the one I'm doing on my rpg club as a gamemaster (our term for the campaigns we do there, similar to a DM in D&D). That one though won't be live until the campaign ends, to avoid spoilers from my friends on there who play STO.
And just to let you know, I like being able to play the game. I'm not really bothered by these glitches being hyped up by the people in that 185 page thread in the News section of the forums.
Glad I could help. That is my goal in providing constructive feedback on missions.
Mission Name: No Prize for Second Contact
Author: Contactpsi
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HP6UPGBS6
Estimated Mission Length: 25-35 min
A mission review would be fantastic. This is my first foundry mission.
Hi Contactpsi,
Welcome to the queue and to the Foundry. Thanks for submitting your mission for review. You are currently 2nd in the queue behind chicochavez. I hope to get to the queue sometime this weekend but work is keeping me very busy. I will post my review here once I have completed it.
I've had this idea for a bit, but was kind of hesitant because of the difficulty in delivery, so I'd appreciate anyone who takes a look at it.
Mission Name: The Engineer's Games Minimum Level:46+ Allegiance:Federation Project ID:ST-HHVMWTJOT User:gammadelta1 Estimated Mission Length:Your choices play a part but about 30 minutes.
Description:
A trip to a meeting is interrupted with an unexplained emergency in engineering. Your crew requires your attention. But what could have caused such a strange readings that set off the alarms?
This mission's combat truly revolves around your choices and ability. It is a ground mission, but I hope you won't hold that against it. And I'm pretty sure ther are no "continue" or "interact" buttons.
Mission Name: Franklin Drake Must Die
Author: @syberghost
Federation, any level.
Estimated length: 20-45 minutes, depending on your choices.
Most of the combat is completely optional; the non-optional combat is brief, the optional combat will greatly extend the length.
Note: there is currently an issue with finding the mission door, thanks to a Cryptic issue on Earth Spacedock. I will refactor to improve this entrance at some point, but for now, take any turbolift to the lower level and the door will appear. Feel free to savage me for that issue, but know that I'm already aware of it.
Former moderator of these forums. Lifetime sub since before launch. Been here since before public betas. Foundry author of "Franklin Drake Must Die".
I've had this idea for a bit, but was kind of hesitant because of the difficulty in delivery, so I'd appreciate anyone who takes a look at it.
Mission Name: The Engineer's Games Minimum Level:46+ Allegiance:Federation Project ID:ST-HHVMWTJOT User:gammadelta1 Estimated Mission Length:Your choices play a part but about 30 minutes.
Description:
A trip to a meeting is interrupted with an unexplained emergency in engineering. Your crew requires your attention. But what could have caused such a strange readings that set off the alarms?
This mission's combat truly revolves around your choices and ability. It is a ground mission, but I hope you won't hold that against it. And I'm pretty sure ther are no "continue" or "interact" buttons.
Thanks
Hi gammadelta1,
Welcome to the queue. You are 3rd in the queue behind contactpsi and I hope to get into the queue this weekend.
Mission Name: Franklin Drake Must Die
Author: @syberghost
Federation, any level.
Estimated length: 20-45 minutes, depending on your choices.
Most of the combat is completely optional; the non-optional combat is brief, the optional combat will greatly extend the length.
Note: there is currently an issue with finding the mission door, thanks to a Cryptic issue on Earth Spacedock. I will refactor to improve this entrance at some point, but for now, take any turbolift to the lower level and the door will appear. Feel free to savage me for that issue, but know that I'm already aware of it.
Hi syberghost,
Welcome to the queue. You are 4th in the queue behind gammadelta1. With luck I will get into and through the queue this weekend. Thanks for the heads up on the entrance issue. I am pretty sure I have never "savaged" anyone in my reviews. Of course there is always a first time for everything.
Thanks for authoring, and for volunteering to moderate the forums,
Brian
Welcome to the queue. You are 3rd in the queue behind contactpsi and I hope to get into the queue this weekend.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
When you give the review, which is awesome that you do that by the way, would you be able to be slightly obtuse on plot line or at least map titles. not to draw attention, truly, but because it is forums only, you will see why.
When you give the review, which is awesome that you do that by the way, would you be able to be slightly obtuse on plot line or at least map titles. not to draw attention, truly, but because it is forums only, you will see why.
The format of my reports is designed to help the author find the map with an issue easier. I do not give away the plot in my review, but rather work to ensure the author knows what needs to be fixed. If I find that your map titles may give away a part of the story I will do my best not to reveal it. You should also understand that the in depth reviews I provide an author help other authors to hopefully not make the same mistakes.
Hey evil, I'm back with part three of my series. Already getting good reviews but would love to read your take on it.
Mission name - Star Trek: Allegiance Part 3
Author - chicochavez
Minimum Level - 31+
Allegiance - Federation
Project ID - ST-HQYXPHSIE
Estimated run time - Under 1 hour.
Also curious, have you been keeping track at all with the dilithium you've been getting from the new system? Had some fleet mates just start my series and they were picking up 1440 from the first two but a bit less from this one. I'm thinking 1440 might be the max for one hour of play, but curious to know if anyone else has seen something different. Figured you play so many missions you might have noticed a pattern by now.
Cheers.
Federation Mission - Star Trek: Allegiance Part 3
Author: chicochavez
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID - ST-HQYXPHSIE
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission in the series with good map design, tough, but fun battles, and riveting story dialogue. I would highly recommend this mission to all players, but nor on Elite.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good and very detailed description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogues are great. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with the dialogue.
Mission Task: You should consider adding the start location, to include the sector, in the initial task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Tundara System: This is a good map design with some fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The "Weather Starstreaks North South" seems to be bugged with the streaks going both directions at regular impulse. Consider changing your map orientation to a westerly orientation and using "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect. It looks more like warp space than the other.
-Consider changing the location triggered combat for the "Intercept Incoming Hostiles" to another type of trigger. The location type of trigger works well on ground combat but may not work as well in space combat. If the player was previously engaged with enemy mobs they have most likely changed altitude during the combat. This will make it harder for them to find the location trigger point.
New Tampa: This is a great map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
P.B.2.A.U. Mining: This is a nice map design with several tough but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-While the "Player Tip" is a nice short term fix to the map pathing issues you should this map to Cryptic so they can eventually fix it. Having to stop and dig your BOFF's out of the walls is annoying even if it is not your fault.
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
Battle of New Tampa: This is a good map design with several tough but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Based on the current design for the map and story flow placing respawn points on this map would be difficult but you should consider it.
Abandoned Mining Facility: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider leaving a hole in the circle of people surrounding Tailor for the player to walk into and stand.
-The Helen Falco NPC is kneeling and scanning the whole time. Consider having her stand up like the other NPCs around Tailor.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission. I look forward to the next in the series and to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Hi, I'm a newcomer to the foundry and I was wondering if you could take a look at my first mission (just finished it yesterday). You'll have to use the project ID because it is still in the "probationary" period (doesn't have 5 reviews yet). Details as follows:
Mission Name: Yet There Be Method In It
Author: pbau3993
Minimum level (this may need to be tweaked): 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRKD9HYJ6
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 minutes
Notes:
I couldn't find anything TOS-style to block off corridors in a TOS map so it looks a little weird. Any ideas on that front would be appreciated.
Since this is my first foundry mission, I didn't have a good idea of how to set/pick minimum levels, so that may need to be tweaked as well.
This is a mission that will take you to 2271, right after the end of the Enterprise's historic five year mission.
Hi, I'm a newcomer to the foundry and I was wondering if you could take a look at my first mission (just finished it yesterday). You'll have to use the project ID because it is still in the "probationary" period (doesn't have 5 reviews yet). Details as follows:
Mission Name: Yet There Be Method In It
Author: pbau3993
Minimum level (this may need to be tweaked): 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRKD9HYJ6
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 minutes
Notes:
I couldn't find anything TOS-style to block off corridors in a TOS map so it looks a little weird. Any ideas on that front would be appreciated.
Since this is my first foundry mission, I didn't have a good idea of how to set/pick minimum levels, so that may need to be tweaked as well.
This is a mission that will take you to 2271, right after the end of the Enterprise's historic five year mission.
Hi pbau3993,
Welcome to the queue and to the Foundry. You are 3rd in queue for review behind gammadelta2, although it may take me a while to get caught up I will eventually. I will post the results here upon completion.
Something for authors to consider in missions with a lot of story dialogue, is adding "Skip Dialogue" buttons with a summary. That way the player has the option to just get the information they need to continue the mission.
Mission Name: No Prize for Second Contact
Author: Contactpsi
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HP6UPGBS6
Estimated Mission Length: 25-35 min
A mission review would be fantastic. This is my first foundry mission.
Federation Mission - No Prize for Second Contact
Author: Contactpsi
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HP6UPGBS6
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission with good map designs, fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I was completely pulled into the story. I would highly recommend this mission to any player who likes a combination of good map design, fun battles, and excellent story dialogue.
I noted the use of the response button "Continue" quite a lot in the mission. Even though this is a personal preference I feel it is something for you to consider. The use of "Continue" can be appropriate in conjunction with some dialog but many others it seems awkward. On several of them the Captain should always respond to a report or other information given to them in the dialog. You can also use this as a stepping stone to the next dialog. Realizing that the Foundry is limited in what you can do to have the player more active in conversations, the use of [OOC] dialogue within that conversation gives the author that tool. I have seen it used in other missions and have used it myself. I have used the following;
[OOC][Rank] LastName]:
Story dialogue here.[/OOC]
You can also have additional dialogue after the [OOC] if needed and finish the player response in the response button.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: You should consider adding the start location of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Ruben System, Regulus Sector Block: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "We were told you expect you, [ShipName]," to read "We were told to expect you, [ShipName].?
-The use of the response button "Continue". I will note the maps this appears on and discuss it in the summary above.
The Ready Room: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
Orith System, Hylaran Sector: This is a good map design with some tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-I am not that familiar with the Andorian culture but would they wish another Captain "Godspeed"?
-Consider changing the response button "Allows us to depart" to read "Allow us to depart".
Heservat System, Regulus Sector: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider adding a "Bypass the code" button. Puzzles in missions are okay but they really need to serve a purpose in the story. I saw no evidence that the puzzle on this map added to the story.
Heservat III, Deserted Island: This is a good map design with tough, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
The Bridge: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider replacing the wall door at the turbo lift with an invisible object that can be used to trigger the map transfer.
-Consider changing the map transfer button "Go to Next Map" to read "Thank you" or something along those lines.
Sickbay: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Observation Deck: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more your work in the future.
Brian
Thank you! That was very helpful. I'm amazed at the detail in your review.
A tangent for fun, if I may, I was wondering if anyone was going to comment on the "godspeed" line from the Andorian captain.
I had a discussion with a friend of mine about how aliens would speak with humans and that line came from that conversation. They probably wouldn't get the deeper meaning and history behind our expressions, but they've spent time around humans and may try to use our expressions to relate. I tried to make that line seem awkward, instead of simply saying "godspeed", I worded it something like "may you have godspeed" - which sounds strange to us, but an alien may think they're making a cultural connection.
AKA @contactpsi. Foundry Author of: "No Prize for Second Contact", "Welcome to the Milky Way", and "The Tyranny of Hope".
Thanks for the review evil, always want to hear what you have to say.
For the weather streaks I used a few of them since I didn't think the streaks were pronounced enough. I wonder if that might be part of the issue. As for the interception point, I think it might be easier to place the blink FX in the middle of the move to location trigger like I did with the insertion point next to the Dunkirk and call it a navigation pop up on the players hud.
Bug report is already posted on the forums for the mining map, really recommend no one use it till fixed. I'll add in a respawn further in next time I'm in the foundry.
I really dont know where to put a respawn once the player gets back to New Tampa. Best idea I've got is maybe next to Toro's team?
The idea for Falco on the last map was that she was scanning to get as much intel as she could about the facility and what it might tell her about what Keller was up to. I will probably just change it and move everyone back a step to give the player some more room.
Thanks for the advice!
Play Star Trek: Allegiance - my first series in the Foundry
Thanks for the review evil, always want to hear what you have to say.
For the weather streaks I used a few of them since I didn't think the streaks were pronounced enough. I wonder if that might be part of the issue. As for the interception point, I think it might be easier to place the blink FX in the middle of the move to location trigger like I did with the insertion point next to the Dunkirk and call it a navigation pop up on the players hud.
Bug report is already posted on the forums for the mining map, really recommend no one use it till fixed. I'll add in a respawn further in next time I'm in the foundry.
I really dont know where to put a respawn once the player gets back to New Tampa. Best idea I've got is maybe next to Toro's team?
The idea for Falco on the last map was that she was scanning to get as much intel as she could about the facility and what it might tell her about what Keller was up to. I will probably just change it and move everyone back a step to give the player some more room.
Thanks for the advice!
As always, glad I could help. Great mission and a lot of fun.
Welcome to the queue. Your missions are 4th and 5th in the queue behind sarek93. I hope to get into the queue this weekend, earlier if possible. I will post the results here once they are completed.
I've had this idea for a bit, but was kind of hesitant because of the difficulty in delivery, so I'd appreciate anyone who takes a look at it.
Mission Name: The Engineer's Games Minimum Level:46+ Allegiance:Federation Project ID:ST-HHVMWTJOT User:gammadelta1 Estimated Mission Length:Your choices play a part but about 30 minutes.
Description:
A trip to a meeting is interrupted with an unexplained emergency in engineering. Your crew requires your attention. But what could have caused such a strange readings that set off the alarms?
This mission's combat truly revolves around your choices and ability. It is a ground mission, but I hope you won't hold that against it. And I'm pretty sure ther are no "continue" or "interact" buttons.
Thanks
Federation Mission - The Engineer's Games
Author: gammadelta1
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HHVMWTJOT
Report Start
Summary: This mission has a lot of potential to be a great story oriented mission with some optional combat thrown in to keep it interesting. Some of the objectives did not make sense or carried on too long. For example; the map "Center of K2015a... JOE" has 8 questions that the player must answer or engage very tough enemy mobs. The problem is the questions did not seem to follow the story. I think the questions would be much more interesting if they related more to the Star Trek Online universe. Then you could make the enemy mobs related to the question and correct answer. At that point the number of questions would be less of a factor. It would also be a fun and interesting theme across all the maps in this mission that could be tailored to each map.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. I have redacted some of the map names in order to preserve the story for players who want to play it. The map titles are still there and can be read by highlighting them. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is an intriguing description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "But what could have caused such a strange readings that set off the alarms" to read "But what could have caused such strange readings that set off the alarm".
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: You should consider adding the start location for the first custom map to the initial task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: J - Something... BOB: This is a nice simple map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Q's(Redacted)Risa: This is a simple map design with a lot of running, some action, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Be careful using the beacons as waypoints on the map. They all show up on the map at the same time. Consider using invisible objects as the trigger point. They can be set appear as each waypoint is reached.
-Consider adding a respawn point near the enemy mob, perhaps across the bridge from them.
Center of K2015a... JOE: This is a simple map with some tough battles and well written story dialogue. I do not mind puzzles in missions as long as they add to the mission. I also usually suggest adding a bypass button for the puzzles, although in this case it seems like it is not really needed. However the questions need a little work, which I will cover in depth in my summary above. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Q's(Redacted)version of the Arena: This is a simple map with a simple battle and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Borg Cube something or other: This is an interesting map design, although I found the obstacles to be annoying rather than challenging. The problem is as you move across the obstacles the away team has a difficult time keeping up with the player. They fall off and cannot help the player engage the enemy mobs. In the end it frustrated me to the point I just ran, jumping as needed, across the map to the end where I triggered the map change. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "empty, just about" to read "Empty, just about".
-Consider changing the obstacles to a more maze like set up that does not require the player to run and jump across platforms. That would be more interesting and require more tactical use of the away team and position in relation to the enemy mobs.
J - Something... FRANK: This is a simple maze map with simple story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing "Wonderful Wonderful" to read "Wonderful wonderful".
Q(Redacted): This is a simple map but well written story dialogue. It serves well to wrap up the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. The mission has a lot of potential but needs a little work. I hope this review helps you improve the mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Federation Mission - The Engineer's Games
Author: gammadelta1
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HHVMWTJOT
Report Start
Summary: This mission has a lot of potential to be a great story oriented mission with some optional combat thrown in to keep it interesting. Some of the objectives did not make sense or carried on too long. For example; the map "Center of K2015a... JOE" has 8 questions that the player must answer or engage very tough enemy mobs. The problem is the questions did not seem to follow the story. I think the questions would be much more interesting if they related more to the Star Trek Online universe. Then you could make the enemy mobs related to the question and correct answer. At that point the number of questions would be less of a factor. It would also be a fun and interesting theme across all the maps in this mission that could be tailored to each map.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. I have redacted some of the map names in order to preserve the story for players who want to play it. The map titles are still there and can be read by highlighting them. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is an intriguing description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "But what could have caused such a strange readings that set off the alarms" to read "But what could have caused such strange readings that set off the alarm".
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: You should consider adding the start location for the first custom map to the initial task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: J - Something... BOB: This is a nice simple map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Q's(Redacted)Risa: This is a simple map design with a lot of running, some action, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Be careful using the beacons as waypoints on the map. They all show up on the map at the same time. Consider using invisible objects as the trigger point. They can be set appear as each waypoint is reached.
-Consider adding a respawn point near the enemy mob, perhaps across the bridge from them.
Center of K2015a... JOE: This is a simple map with some tough battles and well written story dialogue. I do not mind puzzles in missions as long as they add to the mission. I also usually suggest adding a bypass button for the puzzles, although in this case it seems like it is not really needed. However the questions need a little work, which I will cover in depth in my summary above. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Q's(Redacted)version of the Arena: This is a simple map with a simple battle and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Borg Cube something or other: This is an interesting map design, although I found the obstacles to be annoying rather than challenging. The problem is as you move across the obstacles the away team has a difficult time keeping up with the player. They fall off and cannot help the player engage the enemy mobs. In the end it frustrated me to the point I just ran, jumping as needed, across the map to the end where I triggered the map change. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "empty, just about" to read "Empty, just about".
-Consider changing the obstacles to a more maze like set up that does not require the player to run and jump across platforms. That would be more interesting and require more tactical use of the away team and position in relation to the enemy mobs.
J - Something... FRANK: This is a simple maze map with simple story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing "Wonderful Wonderful" to read "Wonderful wonderful".
Q(Redacted): This is a simple map but well written story dialogue. It serves well to wrap up the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. The mission has a lot of potential but needs a little work. I hope this review helps you improve the mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Thank you very much. I knew there were a few issues and details that I'd have to pound out that I couldn't quite get right. Sometimes another set of eyes is all it takes.:)
Thank you very much. I knew there were a few issues and details that I'd have to pound out that I couldn't quite get right. Sometimes another set of eyes is all it takes.:)
Welcome to the queue where you are 5th in line behind skydawnknight. I am currently working some long hours at work, which can vary quite a bit. I hope to be able to get into the queue on the weekend so with luck I will get to yours this weekend.
Hmmm, since you're backlogged I guess I better get in line now
This is my first Foundry mission, so feel free to pick it apart and show me where I can make improvements!
Mission Name: The Tangled Webs We Weave Author:ashtaku Minimum Level:None Allegiance:Federation Project ID: ST-HH4IN2WUC Estimated Mission Length:30-40 minutes, a bit longer if you explore all the optional dialogues.
Hmmm, since you're backlogged I guess I better get in line now
This is my first Foundry mission, so feel free to pick it apart and show me where I can make improvements!
Mission Name: The Tangled Webs We Weave Author:ashtaku Minimum Level:None Allegiance:Federation Project ID: ST-HH4IN2WUC Estimated Mission Length:30-40 minutes, a bit longer if you explore all the optional dialogues.
Hi ashtaku,
Welcome to the queue and to the Foundry. You are 6th in the queue behind renegadesteve. I will get to your review as soon as possible and post the results here when complete.
Hi. I'd also like you to review my submission to the Foundry Challenge 6:
Mission Name:404 Error: Admiral Not Found Author: dougglendower Minimum Level: None Allegiance: Federation Project ID: ST-HAOSHU7Q6
Estimated Mission Length: 40 minutes, a bit longer if you go and find the remote Easter Eggs.
Hey. I'm glad to see you're still enjoying reviewing missions. Hope you're doing well. I have a little review request for you.
Mission Name: Demons from the past
Author: @diogene0
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Estimated Mission Length: under 45 minutes, unless you're using a cruiser. In this case you may add 10 minutes.
I hope I missed less typos this time, i've been slaving over my dictionary and grammar book for hours!
Comments
Always happy to help. I just love playing the game, when work allows.
Brian
I read through everything, and I was planning on overhauling the lounge portion to include the player, and possibly make the discussion more involved for a player. Captain Travis and Admiral Toren are two of my characters from an Star Trek RPG club that I belong to, while the other two are characters that I got permission to use from the people who own them.
I'll be doing the background to part two as soon as I have the changes to this one finished. I also have an unrelated mission coming up that is a conversion from the one I'm doing on my rpg club as a gamemaster (our term for the campaigns we do there, similar to a DM in D&D). That one though won't be live until the campaign ends, to avoid spoilers from my friends on there who play STO.
And just to let you know, I like being able to play the game. I'm not really bothered by these glitches being hyped up by the people in that 185 page thread in the News section of the forums.
Glad I could help. That is my goal in providing constructive feedback on missions.
I try not to read the news forums here...
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Author: Contactpsi
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HP6UPGBS6
Estimated Mission Length: 25-35 min
A mission review would be fantastic. This is my first foundry mission.
Hi Contactpsi,
Welcome to the queue and to the Foundry. Thanks for submitting your mission for review. You are currently 2nd in the queue behind chicochavez. I hope to get to the queue sometime this weekend but work is keeping me very busy. I will post my review here once I have completed it.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Mission Name: The Engineer's Games
Minimum Level: 46+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HHVMWTJOT
User: gammadelta1
Estimated Mission Length: Your choices play a part but about 30 minutes.
Description:
A trip to a meeting is interrupted with an unexplained emergency in engineering. Your crew requires your attention. But what could have caused such a strange readings that set off the alarms?
This mission's combat truly revolves around your choices and ability. It is a ground mission, but I hope you won't hold that against it. And I'm pretty sure ther are no "continue" or "interact" buttons.
Thanks
Author: @syberghost
Federation, any level.
Estimated length: 20-45 minutes, depending on your choices.
Most of the combat is completely optional; the non-optional combat is brief, the optional combat will greatly extend the length.
Note: there is currently an issue with finding the mission door, thanks to a Cryptic issue on Earth Spacedock. I will refactor to improve this entrance at some point, but for now, take any turbolift to the lower level and the door will appear. Feel free to savage me for that issue, but know that I'm already aware of it.
Hi gammadelta1,
Welcome to the queue. You are 3rd in the queue behind contactpsi and I hope to get into the queue this weekend.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi syberghost,
Welcome to the queue. You are 4th in the queue behind gammadelta1. With luck I will get into and through the queue this weekend. Thanks for the heads up on the entrance issue. I am pretty sure I have never "savaged" anyone in my reviews. Of course there is always a first time for everything.
Thanks for authoring, and for volunteering to moderate the forums,
Brian
When you give the review, which is awesome that you do that by the way, would you be able to be slightly obtuse on plot line or at least map titles. not to draw attention, truly, but because it is forums only, you will see why.
The format of my reports is designed to help the author find the map with an issue easier. I do not give away the plot in my review, but rather work to ensure the author knows what needs to be fixed. If I find that your map titles may give away a part of the story I will do my best not to reveal it. You should also understand that the in depth reviews I provide an author help other authors to hopefully not make the same mistakes.
Thanks
Brian
Federation Mission - Star Trek: Allegiance Part 3
Author: chicochavez
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID - ST-HQYXPHSIE
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission in the series with good map design, tough, but fun battles, and riveting story dialogue. I would highly recommend this mission to all players, but nor on Elite.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good and very detailed description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogues are great. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with the dialogue.
Mission Task: You should consider adding the start location, to include the sector, in the initial task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
Tundara System: This is a good map design with some fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The "Weather Starstreaks North South" seems to be bugged with the streaks going both directions at regular impulse. Consider changing your map orientation to a westerly orientation and using "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect. It looks more like warp space than the other.
-Consider changing the location triggered combat for the "Intercept Incoming Hostiles" to another type of trigger. The location type of trigger works well on ground combat but may not work as well in space combat. If the player was previously engaged with enemy mobs they have most likely changed altitude during the combat. This will make it harder for them to find the location trigger point.
New Tampa: This is a great map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
P.B.2.A.U. Mining: This is a nice map design with several tough but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-While the "Player Tip" is a nice short term fix to the map pathing issues you should this map to Cryptic so they can eventually fix it. Having to stop and dig your BOFF's out of the walls is annoying even if it is not your fault.
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
Battle of New Tampa: This is a good map design with several tough but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Based on the current design for the map and story flow placing respawn points on this map would be difficult but you should consider it.
Abandoned Mining Facility: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider leaving a hole in the circle of people surrounding Tailor for the player to walk into and stand.
-The Helen Falco NPC is kneeling and scanning the whole time. Consider having her stand up like the other NPCs around Tailor.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission. I look forward to the next in the series and to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 02/24/2013 on forum posting for: Star Trek: Allegiance Part 3.
Mission Name: Yet There Be Method In It
Author: pbau3993
Minimum level (this may need to be tweaked): 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRKD9HYJ6
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 minutes
Notes:
I couldn't find anything TOS-style to block off corridors in a TOS map so it looks a little weird. Any ideas on that front would be appreciated.
Since this is my first foundry mission, I didn't have a good idea of how to set/pick minimum levels, so that may need to be tweaked as well.
This is a mission that will take you to 2271, right after the end of the Enterprise's historic five year mission.
Hi pbau3993,
Welcome to the queue and to the Foundry. You are 3rd in queue for review behind gammadelta2, although it may take me a while to get caught up I will eventually. I will post the results here upon completion.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Thanks for reading,
Brian
Federation Mission - No Prize for Second Contact
Author: Contactpsi
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HP6UPGBS6
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission with good map designs, fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I was completely pulled into the story. I would highly recommend this mission to any player who likes a combination of good map design, fun battles, and excellent story dialogue.
I noted the use of the response button "Continue" quite a lot in the mission. Even though this is a personal preference I feel it is something for you to consider. The use of "Continue" can be appropriate in conjunction with some dialog but many others it seems awkward. On several of them the Captain should always respond to a report or other information given to them in the dialog. You can also use this as a stepping stone to the next dialog. Realizing that the Foundry is limited in what you can do to have the player more active in conversations, the use of [OOC] dialogue within that conversation gives the author that tool. I have seen it used in other missions and have used it myself. I have used the following;
[OOC][Rank] LastName]:
Story dialogue here.[/OOC]
You can also have additional dialogue after the [OOC] if needed and finish the player response in the response button.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: You should consider adding the start location of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
Ruben System, Regulus Sector Block: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "We were told you expect you, [ShipName]," to read "We were told to expect you, [ShipName].?
-The use of the response button "Continue". I will note the maps this appears on and discuss it in the summary above.
The Ready Room: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
Orith System, Hylaran Sector: This is a good map design with some tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-I am not that familiar with the Andorian culture but would they wish another Captain "Godspeed"?
-Consider changing the response button "Allows us to depart" to read "Allow us to depart".
Heservat System, Regulus Sector: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider adding a "Bypass the code" button. Puzzles in missions are okay but they really need to serve a purpose in the story. I saw no evidence that the puzzle on this map added to the story.
Heservat III, Deserted Island: This is a good map design with tough, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
The Bridge: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider replacing the wall door at the turbo lift with an invisible object that can be used to trigger the map transfer.
-Consider changing the map transfer button "Go to Next Map" to read "Thank you" or something along those lines.
Sickbay: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Observation Deck: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 02/24/2013 on forum posting for: No Prize for Second Contact
A tangent for fun, if I may, I was wondering if anyone was going to comment on the "godspeed" line from the Andorian captain.
I had a discussion with a friend of mine about how aliens would speak with humans and that line came from that conversation. They probably wouldn't get the deeper meaning and history behind our expressions, but they've spent time around humans and may try to use our expressions to relate. I tried to make that line seem awkward, instead of simply saying "godspeed", I worded it something like "may you have godspeed" - which sounds strange to us, but an alien may think they're making a cultural connection.
For the weather streaks I used a few of them since I didn't think the streaks were pronounced enough. I wonder if that might be part of the issue. As for the interception point, I think it might be easier to place the blink FX in the middle of the move to location trigger like I did with the insertion point next to the Dunkirk and call it a navigation pop up on the players hud.
Bug report is already posted on the forums for the mining map, really recommend no one use it till fixed. I'll add in a respawn further in next time I'm in the foundry.
I really dont know where to put a respawn once the player gets back to New Tampa. Best idea I've got is maybe next to Toro's team?
The idea for Falco on the last map was that she was scanning to get as much intel as she could about the facility and what it might tell her about what Keller was up to. I will probably just change it and move everyone back a step to give the player some more room.
Thanks for the advice!
As always, glad I could help. Great mission and a lot of fun.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
1st Part:
Mission Name: Dark Alliance Part 1
Author: @Skydawn
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HPVNOTTZY
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 min
2nd Part:
Mission Name: Dark Alliance 2: Black Spiral
Author: @Skydawn
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HDSFSEJNA
Estimated Mission Length: 45 min to 1hr+
This is my mission thread: Dark Alliance Series
by @Skydawn - member of Starbase UGC
Hi Skydawn,
Welcome to the queue. Your missions are 4th and 5th in the queue behind sarek93. I hope to get into the queue this weekend, earlier if possible. I will post the results here once they are completed.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Federation Mission - The Engineer's Games
Author: gammadelta1
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HHVMWTJOT
Report Start
Summary: This mission has a lot of potential to be a great story oriented mission with some optional combat thrown in to keep it interesting. Some of the objectives did not make sense or carried on too long. For example; the map "Center of K2015a... JOE" has 8 questions that the player must answer or engage very tough enemy mobs. The problem is the questions did not seem to follow the story. I think the questions would be much more interesting if they related more to the Star Trek Online universe. Then you could make the enemy mobs related to the question and correct answer. At that point the number of questions would be less of a factor. It would also be a fun and interesting theme across all the maps in this mission that could be tailored to each map.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. I have redacted some of the map names in order to preserve the story for players who want to play it. The map titles are still there and can be read by highlighting them. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is an intriguing description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "But what could have caused such a strange readings that set off the alarms" to read "But what could have caused such strange readings that set off the alarm".
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: You should consider adding the start location for the first custom map to the initial task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
J - Something... BOB: This is a nice simple map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Q's (Redacted) Risa: This is a simple map design with a lot of running, some action, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Be careful using the beacons as waypoints on the map. They all show up on the map at the same time. Consider using invisible objects as the trigger point. They can be set appear as each waypoint is reached.
-Consider adding a respawn point near the enemy mob, perhaps across the bridge from them.
Center of K2015a... JOE: This is a simple map with some tough battles and well written story dialogue. I do not mind puzzles in missions as long as they add to the mission. I also usually suggest adding a bypass button for the puzzles, although in this case it seems like it is not really needed. However the questions need a little work, which I will cover in depth in my summary above. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Q's (Redacted) version of the Arena: This is a simple map with a simple battle and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Borg Cube something or other: This is an interesting map design, although I found the obstacles to be annoying rather than challenging. The problem is as you move across the obstacles the away team has a difficult time keeping up with the player. They fall off and cannot help the player engage the enemy mobs. In the end it frustrated me to the point I just ran, jumping as needed, across the map to the end where I triggered the map change. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "empty, just about" to read "Empty, just about".
-Consider changing the obstacles to a more maze like set up that does not require the player to run and jump across platforms. That would be more interesting and require more tactical use of the away team and position in relation to the enemy mobs.
J - Something... FRANK: This is a simple maze map with simple story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing "Wonderful Wonderful" to read "Wonderful wonderful".
Q (Redacted) : This is a simple map but well written story dialogue. It serves well to wrap up the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. The mission has a lot of potential but needs a little work. I hope this review helps you improve the mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Thank you very much. I knew there were a few issues and details that I'd have to pound out that I couldn't quite get right. Sometimes another set of eyes is all it takes.:)
This is a mission I'm trying to get into the Spotlight Featured Episode. Your opinion would be greatly appreciated.
Mission Name: Fluidic Relations
Author: @renegadesteve
Minimum Level: 46+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HH3WUJKJU
Estimated Mission Length: 45-60 min
Glad I could help.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi renegadesteve,
Welcome to the queue where you are 5th in line behind skydawnknight. I am currently working some long hours at work, which can vary quite a bit. I hope to be able to get into the queue on the weekend so with luck I will get to yours this weekend.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
This is my first Foundry mission, so feel free to pick it apart and show me where I can make improvements!
Mission Name: The Tangled Webs We Weave
Author: ashtaku
Minimum Level: None
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HH4IN2WUC
Estimated Mission Length: 30-40 minutes, a bit longer if you explore all the optional dialogues.
Hi ashtaku,
Welcome to the queue and to the Foundry.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Mission Name: 404 Error: Admiral Not Found
Author: dougglendower
Minimum Level: None
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HAOSHU7Q6
Estimated Mission Length: 40 minutes, a bit longer if you go and find the remote Easter Eggs.
Mission Name: Demons from the past
Author: @diogene0
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Estimated Mission Length: under 45 minutes, unless you're using a cruiser. In this case you may add 10 minutes.
I hope I missed less typos this time, i've been slaving over my dictionary and grammar book for hours!
Thanks for your review.
God, lvl 60 CW. 17k.