Norway and Yeager dammit... I still want my Typhoon and Jupiter though. JJ Trek The Kelvin Timeline is just Trek and it's fully canon... get over it. But I still prefer TAR.
#TASforSTO
'...I can tell you that we're not in the military and that we intend no harm to the whales.' Kirk: The Voyage Home
'Starfleet is not a military organisation. Its purpose is exploration.' Picard: Peak Performance
'This is clearly a military operation. Is that what we are now? Because I thought we were explorers!' Scotty: Into Darkness
'...The Federation. Starfleet. We're not a military agency.' Scotty: Beyond
'I'm not a soldier anymore. I'm an engineer.' Miles O'Brien: Empok Nor
'...Starfleet could use you... It's a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada...' Admiral Pike: Star Trek
I would like to assure everyone that his goatee-essness' loyal servant on the honourable, almost totally uninhabitable frozen wasteland of Greenland has not lost his marbles and started executing his subjects.
*Screams can be heard in the distance.*
We're having a class in teaching the Jaffa to do a Wilhelm scream. True story.
Hey, the place is a barely inhabited frozen wasteland! There's not much to do!
Anyone wanna trade the British Isles for an arsenal of naquadah-enhanced nuclear missiles?
You want a movie-theater-sized 3D HDTV?
I have a vast Nepotism Quota and not a lot to spend it on.
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch." "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Passion and Serenity are one.
I gain power by understanding both.
In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
The Force is united within me.
okay, this is going to keep bugging me until i ask...what is nepotism and how do you fill a quota for it?
Nepotism--bribes, gifts, and favors from a person in power to xir supporters and/or friends and vice versa. It's a kind of blatant corruption.
My Nepotism Quota is a certain amount of Hands of Ba'al (the Glorious Regime's main currency) that I have to spend each month on gifts and favors to others. As Grand Vizier, I have the largest such quota in the Regime. I usually just give the surplus to charity, which technically counts as nepotism because Ba'al is a cool evil overlord that way.
IMPORTANT information for all Minions of Ba'al (tm):
As of tomorrow, ROB* 3/19/0, AKA 6/19/2014 by the old Gregorian calendar, ALL charitable uses of Nepotism Quota funds are permitted for ALL Minions of Ba'al (tm) with such quotas. Please note that any and all such donations must still pass review; certain organizations may be deemed illegible on the basis of fomenting dissent against the Glorious Regime, beinghategroups, a history of improper use of funds, or a combination of the above.
I, Grand Vizier worffan101, do hereby decree this law of Ba'al enacted, on the 18th day of the month of First Prime Teal'c in the year of Ba'al 0.
Praise be to Sovereign Ba'al, Supreme System Lord of all worlds!
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch." "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Passion and Serenity are one.
I gain power by understanding both.
In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
The Force is united within me.
*shifty eyes* hey, if you happen to need someone to 'take care' of some of those groups, i'm your wolf
left unchecked, they may eventually become a threat to your sovereign, after all
Ah, good, someone at LAST for Minister of Justice (unofficially known as the Minister of Judicious Booty-kicking)!
Do you want the job? It comes with a mansion, Ha'tak battleship, fully stocked with al'kesh, tel'tak, and death glider attack ships, a thousand Kull Warriors as minions, and a dozen fully-trained Jaffa legal scribes so you don't actually have to do any work other than saying "guilty" or "not guilty" and then formulating and carrying out the sentence.
If you're in, then you're hired. Welcome to the fold!
Ah, good, someone at LAST for Minister of Justice (unofficially known as the Minister of Judicious Booty-kicking)!
Do you want the job? It comes with a mansion, Ha'tak battleship, fully stocked with al'kesh, tel'tak, and death glider attack ships, a thousand Kull Warriors as minions, and a dozen fully-trained Jaffa legal scribes so you don't actually have to do any work other than saying "guilty" or "not guilty" and then formulating and carrying out the sentence.
If you're in, then you're hired. Welcome to the fold!
Hail Ba'al!
Damn, if I had known that such a position was open, I might have come to you instead of Ba'al... ah, but there are so many advantages to being one of his assassin's...
Anyway, tattoo kid and the rest have been taken care of. They niw recognize the Grand Regime as their Sovereign government...
Now it's up to Ba'al to decide who will be their Grand Bender... atleast, that's what they said they want...
Damn, if I had known that such a position was open, I might have come to you instead of Ba'al... ah, but there are so many advantages to being one of his assassin's...
Anyway, tattoo kid and the rest have been taken care of. They niw recognize the Grand Regime as their Sovereign government...
Now it's up to Ba'al to decide who will be their Grand Bender... atleast, that's what they said they want...
Well, we can still transfer you, if you're comfortable with an open role...
Good, good...I'll message the Sovereign and find somebody to figure something out.
Well, we can still transfer you, if you're comfortable with an open role...
Good, good...I'll message the Sovereign and find somebody to figure something out.
Hail Ba'al!
I do have a question. What's up with that Ryan guy? I think it was against one of the Sovereigns laws to allow a low minion like him to have an arsenal like that.
Or is it a contellation prize for giving him Greenland? *Shiver* Uhhhn, Greenland...
I do have a question. What's up with that Ryan guy? I think it was against one of the Sovereigns laws to allow a low minion like him to have an arsenal like that.
Or is it a contellation prize for giving him Greenland? *Shiver* Uhhhn, Greenland...
Consolation prize. I couldn't find anyone else to take it, he offered the deal...seems to have worked out well. Weapons R&D is reporting great successes up there.
Ah, good, someone at LAST for Minister of Justice (unofficially known as the Minister of Judicious Booty-kicking)!
Do you want the job? It comes with a mansion, Ha'tak battleship, fully stocked with al'kesh, tel'tak, and death glider attack ships, a thousand Kull Warriors as minions, and a dozen fully-trained Jaffa legal scribes so you don't actually have to do any work other than saying "guilty" or "not guilty" and then formulating and carrying out the sentence.
If you're in, then you're hired. Welcome to the fold!
Hail Ba'al!
i'd prefer to remain independant...i work best when not burdened by office
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch." "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Passion and Serenity are one.
I gain power by understanding both.
In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
The Force is united within me.
Consolation prize. I couldn't find anyone else to take it, he offered the deal...seems to have worked out well. Weapons R&D is reporting great successes up there.
Hail Ba'al!
He seems very... eager to get his hands on the British Isles. Perhaps you should just give it to him to prevent thermonuclear war?
Either way I don't particularly care. I have to go straighten out Egypt. They keep calling me Pharoah and all that just because I look a little but like the last Ra... By Ba'al, if this gets to Ba'al, I'll loose my head.
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch." "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Passion and Serenity are one.
I gain power by understanding both.
In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
The Force is united within me.
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch." "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Passion and Serenity are one.
I gain power by understanding both.
In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
The Force is united within me.
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch." "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Passion and Serenity are one.
I gain power by understanding both.
In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
The Force is united within me.
He seems very... eager to get his hands on the British Isles. Perhaps you should just give it to him to prevent thermonuclear war?
Either way I don't particularly care. I have to go straighten out Egypt. They keep calling me Pharoah and all that just because I look a little but like the last Ra... By Ba'al, if this gets to Ba'al, I'll loose my head.
*Walks out holding his head.*
Ugh, this again?
Don't worry, Sovereign Ba'al is certain of your loyalty and is pleased with your service. He said that the day he beheads you is the day that hell reaches absolute zero.
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch." "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Passion and Serenity are one.
I gain power by understanding both.
In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
The Force is united within me.
* plays pinball with NEO asteroids while waiting for something to do *
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Minions, harken to me! Your Grand Vizier needs something done, and fast!
Captain Jade! The Glorious Regime requires brave explorers to explore a newly-discovered planet called Scadrial! Go forth, and explore this ash- and mist-cloaked realm in the name of Ba'al!
Minister of Transportation/Administrator of Cosmic Smitings! Our recent trinium shipments from Roxalon have been only two-thirds of what was requisitioned. We suspect that someone is engaging in unlicensed corruption by skimming off the top. Or possibly a lot of someones. Find the culprit and punish him/her/them appropriately!
Minions, harken to me! Your Grand Vizier needs something done, and fast!
Captain Jade! The Glorious Regime requires brave explorers to explore a newly-discovered planet called Scadrial! Go forth, and explore this ash- and mist-cloaked realm in the name of Ba'al!
Minister of Transportation/Administrator of Cosmic Smitings! Our recent trinium shipments from Roxalon have been only two-thirds of what was requisitioned. We suspect that someone is engaging in unlicensed corruption by skimming off the top. Or possibly a lot of someones. Find the culprit and punish him/her/them appropriately!
Hail Ba'al!
when you're done with that one, you cna check out this interesting planet i stumbled across during one of my...cargo runs
it's called Sanctuary by the natives, and it seems to suffer from periodic demonic invasions - maybe you can capture a few for genetic experimentation purposes, and perhaps some of the local mages as well
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch." "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Passion and Serenity are one.
I gain power by understanding both.
In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
The Force is united within me.
when you're done with that one, you cna check out this interesting planet i stumbled across during one of my...cargo runs
it's called Sanctuary by the natives, and it seems to suffer from periodic demonic invasions - maybe you can capture a few for genetic experimentation purposes, and perhaps some of the local mages as well
Darth Kuntel, this seems like a job for you.
I have to go schmooze with some important dignitaries to try to convince them to sell out to the Glorious Regime.
Comments
Yes.
Hail Ba'al!
Who would want them? They're a bit wet.
Oooh, thanks.
Norway and Yeager dammit... I still want my Typhoon and Jupiter though.
JJ Trek The Kelvin Timeline is just Trek and it's fully canon... get over it. But I still prefer TAR.
#TASforSTO
'...I can tell you that we're not in the military and that we intend no harm to the whales.' Kirk: The Voyage Home
'Starfleet is not a military organisation. Its purpose is exploration.' Picard: Peak Performance
'This is clearly a military operation. Is that what we are now? Because I thought we were explorers!' Scotty: Into Darkness
'...The Federation. Starfleet. We're not a military agency.' Scotty: Beyond
'I'm not a soldier anymore. I'm an engineer.' Miles O'Brien: Empok Nor
'...Starfleet could use you... It's a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada...' Admiral Pike: Star Trek
Get the Forums Enhancement Extension!
You want a movie-theater-sized 3D HDTV?
I have a vast Nepotism Quota and not a lot to spend it on.
Hail Ba'al!
#LegalizeAwoo
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
"We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Nepotism--bribes, gifts, and favors from a person in power to xir supporters and/or friends and vice versa. It's a kind of blatant corruption.
My Nepotism Quota is a certain amount of Hands of Ba'al (the Glorious Regime's main currency) that I have to spend each month on gifts and favors to others. As Grand Vizier, I have the largest such quota in the Regime. I usually just give the surplus to charity, which technically counts as nepotism because Ba'al is a cool evil overlord that way.
Hail Ba'al!
As of tomorrow, ROB* 3/19/0, AKA 6/19/2014 by the old Gregorian calendar, ALL charitable uses of Nepotism Quota funds are permitted for ALL Minions of Ba'al (tm) with such quotas. Please note that any and all such donations must still pass review; certain organizations may be deemed illegible on the basis of fomenting dissent against the Glorious Regime, being hate groups, a history of improper use of funds, or a combination of the above.
I, Grand Vizier worffan101, do hereby decree this law of Ba'al enacted, on the 18th day of the month of First Prime Teal'c in the year of Ba'al 0.
Praise be to Sovereign Ba'al, Supreme System Lord of all worlds!
Hail Ba'al!
*Reign Of Ba'al.
*shifty eyes* hey, if you happen to need someone to 'take care' of some of those groups, i'm your wolf
left unchecked, they may eventually become a threat to your sovereign, after all
#LegalizeAwoo
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
"We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Ah, good, someone at LAST for Minister of Justice (unofficially known as the Minister of Judicious Booty-kicking)!
Do you want the job? It comes with a mansion, Ha'tak battleship, fully stocked with al'kesh, tel'tak, and death glider attack ships, a thousand Kull Warriors as minions, and a dozen fully-trained Jaffa legal scribes so you don't actually have to do any work other than saying "guilty" or "not guilty" and then formulating and carrying out the sentence.
If you're in, then you're hired. Welcome to the fold!
Hail Ba'al!
Damn, if I had known that such a position was open, I might have come to you instead of Ba'al... ah, but there are so many advantages to being one of his assassin's...
Anyway, tattoo kid and the rest have been taken care of. They niw recognize the Grand Regime as their Sovereign government...
Now it's up to Ba'al to decide who will be their Grand Bender... atleast, that's what they said they want...
Well, we can still transfer you, if you're comfortable with an open role...
Good, good...I'll message the Sovereign and find somebody to figure something out.
Hail Ba'al!
I do have a question. What's up with that Ryan guy? I think it was against one of the Sovereigns laws to allow a low minion like him to have an arsenal like that.
Or is it a contellation prize for giving him Greenland? *Shiver* Uhhhn, Greenland...
Consolation prize. I couldn't find anyone else to take it, he offered the deal...seems to have worked out well. Weapons R&D is reporting great successes up there.
Hail Ba'al!
#LegalizeAwoo
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
"We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
As you wish. If you decide to take independent action, please see Ba'al's rules and regulations for bounty hunters.
Hail Ba'al!
He seems very... eager to get his hands on the British Isles. Perhaps you should just give it to him to prevent thermonuclear war?
Either way I don't particularly care. I have to go straighten out Egypt. They keep calling me Pharoah and all that just because I look a little but like the last Ra... By Ba'al, if this gets to Ba'al, I'll loose my head.
*Walks out holding his head.*
#LegalizeAwoo
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
"We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
#LegalizeAwoo
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
"We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
besides, you're dead - you got eaten by a sarlacc
#LegalizeAwoo
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
"We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Don't worry, Sovereign Ba'al is certain of your loyalty and is pleased with your service. He said that the day he beheads you is the day that hell reaches absolute zero. It's a long list. Have you ever heard of the "Grapple Rules"?
No problems. You're trusted, we have you on the safe list, Exchange Officer/Captain Jade.
Hail Ba'al!
Here's your rules and regulations.
*plunks an 80-pound tome on the table. It is printed in almost microscopic letters*
Welcome to the fold and good luck.
Hail Ba'al!
#LegalizeAwoo
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
"We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Captain Jade! The Glorious Regime requires brave explorers to explore a newly-discovered planet called Scadrial! Go forth, and explore this ash- and mist-cloaked realm in the name of Ba'al!
Minister of Transportation/Administrator of Cosmic Smitings! Our recent trinium shipments from Roxalon have been only two-thirds of what was requisitioned. We suspect that someone is engaging in unlicensed corruption by skimming off the top. Or possibly a lot of someones. Find the culprit and punish him/her/them appropriately!
Hail Ba'al!
it's called Sanctuary by the natives, and it seems to suffer from periodic demonic invasions - maybe you can capture a few for genetic experimentation purposes, and perhaps some of the local mages as well
#LegalizeAwoo
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
"We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Darth Kuntel, this seems like a job for you.
I have to go schmooze with some important dignitaries to try to convince them to sell out to the Glorious Regime.
Hail Ba'al!