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Stargate Hail Ba'al Rambling

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  • legendarylycan#5411 legendarylycan Member Posts: 37,284 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    *looks up from among the many empty bottles surrounding him, slurring heavily* i didn' do it...iz all his fault...
    Like special weapons from other Star Trek games? Wondering if they can be replicated in STO even a little bit? Check this out: https://forum.arcgames.com/startrekonline/discussion/1262277/a-mostly-comprehensive-guide-to-star-trek-videogame-special-weapons-and-their-sto-equivalents

    #LegalizeAwoo

    A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
    An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
    A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
    A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"


    "It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
    "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
    Passion and Serenity are one.
    I gain power by understanding both.
    In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
    I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
    The Force is united within me.
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    *looks up from among the many empty bottles surrounding him, slurring heavily* i didn' do it...iz all his fault...

    *facepalms*

    Oh, Ba'al. I'm going to catch Duat for this, aren't I?

    Hail Ba'al!
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    *Walks in with a colonisation report.

    Hold on, what...?

    What, did you put bugs on them?! How do you know what they're up to when they aren't here?!

    Also, shall I get the gravity torture room ready for Kuntel?
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    ryan218 wrote: »
    *Walks in with a colonisation report.

    Hold on, what...?

    What, did you put bugs on them?! How do you know what they're up to when they aren't here?!

    Also, shall I get the gravity torture room ready for Kuntel?

    Nah, we're all sleeping on Rattler's starship for the moment.

    And no. No gravity torture for kuntel. Yet.

    Wait for him to wake up and get chewed out by his Grand Vizier first.

    What's on the report?

    Hail Ba'al!
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Nah, we're all sleeping on Rattler's starship for the moment.

    And no. No gravity torture for kuntel. Yet.

    Wait for him to wake up and get chewed out by his Grand Vizier first.

    What's on the report?

    Hail Ba'al!

    Right, well, Sarpedon's a total loss, but I've located 3 new planets for colonisation. I have vessels already heading there to deploy Stargates.

    Also, the House of Windsor would like an audience with you.

    Finally, I've finished cleaning Westminster Palace and wish to correct you on something; it's Great Britain and Northern Ireland, India, Australia, New Zealand, Greenland and Canada under my rule, not just England and Greenland.

    Oh, and I'd like to petition to build a shipyard on the Falklands. Y'know, for spacey stuff.
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    ryan218 wrote: »
    Right, well, Sarpedon's a total loss, but I've located 3 new planets for colonisation. I have vessels already heading there to deploy Stargates.

    Also, the House of Windsor would like an audience with you.

    Finally, I've finished cleaning Westminster Palace and wish to correct you on something; it's Great Britain and Northern Ireland, India, Australia, New Zealand, Greenland and Canada under my rule, not just England and Greenland.

    Oh, and I'd like to petition to build a shipyard on the Falklands. Y'know, for spacey stuff.

    Good, good...

    Tell the House of Windsor to speak with my secretary. We can arrange an appointment.

    India belongs to Teal'c, Australia is split between the Free Jaffa Nation and myself, and New Zealand belongs to Grand Admiral Carter (North island) and Grand High Supreme Doctor Overlord Fraiser (South and other islands). But you can have the rest.

    The Falklands base is a go-ahead. If the Argentines complain, I will point out that those islands were never theirs to begin with, and to shut up and get to work on repaying their damn investors. And to give Lionel Messi and the Argentine soccer team a big pay rise, because I'm a fan. If they're still complaining, I'll fly the Extreme Prejudice into Earth orbit and point the superweapon at Buenos Aires.

    Hail Ba'al!
  • rattler2rattler2 Member, Star Trek Online Moderator Posts: 58,688 Community Moderator
    edited July 2014
    *Walks in*
    Ok... seriously... who left the comm channel open and... I feel like I'm missing something here...
    db80k0m-89201ed8-eadb-45d3-830f-bb2f0d4c0fe7.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2ExOGQ4ZWM2LTUyZjQtNDdiMS05YTI1LTVlYmZkYmJkOGM3N1wvZGI4MGswbS04OTIwMWVkOC1lYWRiLTQ1ZDMtODMwZi1iYjJmMGQ0YzBmZTcucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.8G-Pg35Qi8qxiKLjAofaKRH6fmNH3qAAEI628gW0eXc
    I can't take it anymore! Could everyone just chill out for two seconds before something CRAZY happens again?!
    The nut who actually ground out many packs. The resident forum voice of reason (I HAZ FORUM REP! YAY!)
    normal text = me speaking as fellow formite
    colored text = mod mode
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    rattler2 wrote: »
    *Walks in*
    Ok... seriously... who left the comm channel open and... I feel like I'm missing something here...

    It's...

    Complicated.

    Just don't walk in on Darth Kuntel, and definitely don't airlock him until I'm done chewing him out for boinking that Ensign while high on witchroot.

    Hail Ba'al!
  • sander233sander233 Member Posts: 3,992 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    It's...

    Complicated.

    Just don't walk in on Darth Kuntel, and definitely don't airlock him until I'm done chewing him out for boinking that Ensign while high on witchroot.

    Hail Ba'al!

    Are we sure it's the real Kuntel and not another evil replicant this time?

    *turns and yells at minions, who are stacking up dead Kuntels*

    No, no, androids go into the pile that's going to be melted down in molten steel. Clones and transporter duplicates get dissolved in quicklime. Is that one's fingers still wiggling? Ba'al damn it...

    *gunshots*
    16d89073-5444-45ad-9053-45434ac9498f.png~original

    ...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
    - Anne Bredon
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    sander233 wrote: »
    Are we sure it's the real Kuntel and not another evil replicant this time?

    *turns and yells at minions, who are stacking up dead Kuntels*

    No, no, androids go into the pile that's going to be melted down in molten steel. Clones and transporter duplicates get dissolved in quicklime. Is that one's fingers still wiggling? Ba'al damn it...

    *gunshots*

    ...

    That's a LOT of Evil Kuntels.

    You will be commended, Minister.

    Hail Ba'al!
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    *Jerks awake, wide eyed and breathing heavily. Looks around.*

    Uhhh, last time I have more than two drops of that...

    *Looks at Romulan Ale bottle, empty.*

    Or any of that.

    *Looks around for ensign, who isn't there.*

    Or doing that without catching her name first...

    *Blinks heavily and falls back onto pillows.*

    Wake me up again when it's time to get thrown out the airlock... I definately deserve it this time...
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    *Jerks awake, wide eyed and breathing heavily. Looks around.*

    Uhhh, last time I have more than two drops of that...

    *Looks at Romulan Ale bottle, empty.*

    Or any of that.

    *Looks around for ensign.*

    Or doing that without catching her name first...

    *Blinks heavily and falls back onto pillows.*

    Wake me up again when it's time to get thrown out the airlock... I definately deserve it this time...

    *walks in, in full official Grand Vizier robes, with an extremely stern expression.*

    Hello, Darth Kuntel.

    *door closes*

    Let's have a little chat, you and I.

    *door opens*

    *First Prime Teal'c walks in*

    *door closes*

    Teal'c: You requested my assistance, Grand Vizier?

    GV: Yes. Just stand here and give Darth kuntel your death glare.

    Hail Ba'al!
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    *walks in, in full official Grand Vizier robes, with an extremely stern expression.*

    Hello, Darth Kuntel.

    *door closes*

    Let's have a little chat, you and I.

    *door opens*

    *First Prime Teal'c walks in*

    *door closes*

    Teal'c: You requested my assistance, Grand Vizier?

    GV: Yes. Just stand here and give Darth kuntel your death glare.

    Hail Ba'al!

    I'll get the gravity torture chamber ready!

    Hail Ba'al!

    *Walks out to return to the surface.*
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    *Looks Teal'c in the eye and starts humming the theme to 'My Little Pony'*
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    ryan218 wrote: »
    I'll get the gravity torture chamber ready!

    Hail Ba'al!

    *Walks out to return to the surface.*
    Be sure to set the derp-fat-fryer to "Extra Crispy".
    kuntel wrote: »
    *Looks Teal'c in the eye and starts humming the theme to 'My Little Pony'*

    *Teal'c begins Death Stare* (OOC: Note that said stare killed Moloc in seconds)

    Now. Darth Kuntel. What in the name of Ba'al happened last night?

    Hail Ba'al!
  • rattler2rattler2 Member, Star Trek Online Moderator Posts: 58,688 Community Moderator
    edited July 2014
    Who did what now?
    db80k0m-89201ed8-eadb-45d3-830f-bb2f0d4c0fe7.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2ExOGQ4ZWM2LTUyZjQtNDdiMS05YTI1LTVlYmZkYmJkOGM3N1wvZGI4MGswbS04OTIwMWVkOC1lYWRiLTQ1ZDMtODMwZi1iYjJmMGQ0YzBmZTcucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.8G-Pg35Qi8qxiKLjAofaKRH6fmNH3qAAEI628gW0eXc
    I can't take it anymore! Could everyone just chill out for two seconds before something CRAZY happens again?!
    The nut who actually ground out many packs. The resident forum voice of reason (I HAZ FORUM REP! YAY!)
    normal text = me speaking as fellow formite
    colored text = mod mode
  • legendarylycan#5411 legendarylycan Member Posts: 37,284 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    *stumbles up behind jade, clutching his head and moaning loudly*

    don't ask...and someone turn the damn sun off
    Like special weapons from other Star Trek games? Wondering if they can be replicated in STO even a little bit? Check this out: https://forum.arcgames.com/startrekonline/discussion/1262277/a-mostly-comprehensive-guide-to-star-trek-videogame-special-weapons-and-their-sto-equivalents

    #LegalizeAwoo

    A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
    An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
    A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
    A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"


    "It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
    "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
    Passion and Serenity are one.
    I gain power by understanding both.
    In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
    I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
    The Force is united within me.
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Be sure to set the derp-fat-fryer to "Extra Crispy".


    *Teal'c begins Death Stare* (OOC: Note that said stare killed Moloc in seconds)

    Now. Darth Kuntel. What in the name of Ba'al happened last night?

    Hail Ba'al!

    Last night, after taking my prescribed witchroot, Shadow and I decided to go to Ten Foward. While there, the Bartender flirted with Shadow, and I liberated some illegal substances from her bar. So she wouldn't get in trouble of course! After that, I left and met a very beautiful ensign, who was on her break, in the hallway, and we proceded to my bedroom together. After that, we had a lovely chat, and soon became so enebriated that she couldn't make it back to her room. So she decided to stay here.

    *Realizes how they could have interpreted last night.*

    I didn't do anything! We didn't do anything! It was just a pleasant chat, is all!
  • legendarylycan#5411 legendarylycan Member Posts: 37,284 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    *whimpers and places paws over his ears* don't yell...

    and WE did not decide to go to the bar - YOU did, and i followed along to try and keep you from doing something monumentally stupid...which i can see i failed miserably at
    Like special weapons from other Star Trek games? Wondering if they can be replicated in STO even a little bit? Check this out: https://forum.arcgames.com/startrekonline/discussion/1262277/a-mostly-comprehensive-guide-to-star-trek-videogame-special-weapons-and-their-sto-equivalents

    #LegalizeAwoo

    A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
    An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
    A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
    A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"


    "It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
    "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
    Passion and Serenity are one.
    I gain power by understanding both.
    In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
    I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
    The Force is united within me.
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    Last night, after taking my prescribed witchroot, Shadow and I decided to go to Ten Foward. While there, the Bartender flirted with Shadow, and I liberated some illegal substances from her bar. So she wouldn't get in trouble of course! After that, I left and met a very beautiful ensign, who was on her break, in the hallway, and we proceded to my bedroom together. After that, we had a lovely chat, and soon became so enebriated that she couldn't make it back to her room. So she decided to stay here.

    *Realizes how they could have interpreted last night.*

    I didn't do anything! We didn't do anything! It was just a pleasant chat, is all!

    Minister Ryan, is the gravity torture chamber prepared?

    *listens at walkie-talkie*

    Thank you.

    We're going to need to have a little "talk" about your conduct while under the influence. Teal'c, leave us.

    *First Prime Teal'c leaves somewhat uncertainly*

    *door swishes closed*

    *the following is heard slightly muffled through the door*

    "WHAT THE F*CK WERE YOU THINKING?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!"

    (OOC: Hail Ba'al!)
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Minister Ryan, is the gravity torture chamber prepared?

    *listens at walkie-talkie*

    Thank you.

    We're going to need to have a little "talk" about your conduct while under the influence. Teal'c, leave us.

    *First Prime Teal'c leaves somewhat uncertainly*

    *door swishes closed*

    *the following is heard slightly muffled through the door*

    "WHAT THE F*CK WERE YOU THINKING?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!"

    (OOC: Hail Ba'al!)

    It was prescribed! So I would actually be a little useful in a battle from now on!
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Minister Ryan, is the gravity torture chamber prepared?

    *listens at walkie-talkie*

    Thank you.

    We're going to need to have a little "talk" about your conduct while under the influence. Teal'c, leave us.

    *First Prime Teal'c leaves somewhat uncertainly*

    *door swishes closed*

    *the following is heard slightly muffled through the door*

    "WHAT THE F*CK WERE YOU THINKING?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!"

    (OOC: Hail Ba'al!)

    *Over walkie-talkie.*

    Probably not a lot, given he was not only drunk but under the influence of drugs as well.

    Although it says a lot about the standards of the ensign who he... fraternised... with.
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    ryan218 wrote: »
    *Over walkie-talkie.*

    Probably not a lot, given he was not only drunk but under the influence of drugs as well.

    Although it says a lot about the standards of the ensign who he... fraternised... with.

    We were only talking!
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    We were only talking!

    Yeah, right. You were 'only talking' to a beautiful ensign after flirting with her in a corridor while drugged, taking her to your quarters, and getting falling-down drunk.

    Do I have the word 'IDIOT' written over my face or something?
  • legendarylycan#5411 legendarylycan Member Posts: 37,284 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    ryan218 wrote: »
    Yeah, right. You were 'only talking' to a beautiful ensign after flirting with her in a corridor while drugged, taking her to your quarters, and getting falling-down drunk.

    Do I have the word 'IDIOT' written over my face or something?
    *squints* well, at a certain angle...
    Like special weapons from other Star Trek games? Wondering if they can be replicated in STO even a little bit? Check this out: https://forum.arcgames.com/startrekonline/discussion/1262277/a-mostly-comprehensive-guide-to-star-trek-videogame-special-weapons-and-their-sto-equivalents

    #LegalizeAwoo

    A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
    An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
    A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
    A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"


    "It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
    "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
    Passion and Serenity are one.
    I gain power by understanding both.
    In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
    I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
    The Force is united within me.
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    *squints* well, at a certain angle...

    Shut up, get out!

    *Perks head up.*

    Hold on, I thought you were on the ship?
  • legendarylycan#5411 legendarylycan Member Posts: 37,284 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    i am on the ship; this is my astral projection...which i am somehow managing to maintain despite suffering a massive hangover
    Like special weapons from other Star Trek games? Wondering if they can be replicated in STO even a little bit? Check this out: https://forum.arcgames.com/startrekonline/discussion/1262277/a-mostly-comprehensive-guide-to-star-trek-videogame-special-weapons-and-their-sto-equivalents

    #LegalizeAwoo

    A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
    An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
    A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
    A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"


    "It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
    "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
    Passion and Serenity are one.
    I gain power by understanding both.
    In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
    I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
    The Force is united within me.
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    And I'm hearing this from the walkie-talkie...
  • rattler2rattler2 Member, Star Trek Online Moderator Posts: 58,688 Community Moderator
    edited July 2014
    He raided the Diplomatic stash... I knew keeping a small supply for Diplomatic Functions was a bad idea...
    *Facepalm*
    db80k0m-89201ed8-eadb-45d3-830f-bb2f0d4c0fe7.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2ExOGQ4ZWM2LTUyZjQtNDdiMS05YTI1LTVlYmZkYmJkOGM3N1wvZGI4MGswbS04OTIwMWVkOC1lYWRiLTQ1ZDMtODMwZi1iYjJmMGQ0YzBmZTcucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.8G-Pg35Qi8qxiKLjAofaKRH6fmNH3qAAEI628gW0eXc
    I can't take it anymore! Could everyone just chill out for two seconds before something CRAZY happens again?!
    The nut who actually ground out many packs. The resident forum voice of reason (I HAZ FORUM REP! YAY!)
    normal text = me speaking as fellow formite
    colored text = mod mode
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    rattler2 wrote: »
    He raided the Diplomatic stash... I knew keeping a small supply for Diplomatic Functions was a bad idea...
    *Facepalm*

    It was only two bottles!
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