*An official Regime propaganda piece comes up on the Jumbotron*
GV: Greetings, citizens of the AHE! I am Grand Vizier worffan101 of the Glorious Regime of Supreme System Lord Ba'al, may he live forever.
We in the Regime would like our esteemed allies in the AHE to know that our Glorious Sovereign Ba'al, last of the Goa'uld System Lords and master of all worlds in many universes, is fully supportive of not only the AHE and its continued sovereignty but also of Prince Kuntel von Hapsburg and his soon-to-be wife, Captain Krystal Jade of the Federation starship Lexington.
Anybody who has an issue with the Prince, the Princess, or their upcoming nuptials can take it up with the business end of my star-system-destroying supergun on my oversized command ship, the Superior Force.
Congratulations, Jade and Kuntel! Long Live Prince Kuntel! Long Live Princess Jade! Long Live the AHE!
*An official Regime propaganda piece comes up on the Jumbotron*
GV: Greetings, citizens of the AHE! I am Grand Vizier worffan101 of the Glorious Regime of Supreme System Lord Ba'al, may he live forever.
We in the Regime would like our esteemed allies in the AHE to know that our Glorious Sovereign Ba'al, last of the Goa'uld System Lords and master of all worlds in many universes, is fully supportive of not only the AHE and its continued sovereignty but also of Prince Kuntel von Hapsburg and his soon-to-be wife, Captain Krystal Jade of the Federation starship Lexington.
Anybody who has an issue with the Prince, the Princess, or their upcoming nuptials can take it up with the business end of my star-system-destroying supergun on my oversized command ship, the Superior Force.
Congratulations, Jade and Kuntel! Long Live Prince Kuntel! Long Live Princess Jade! Long Live the AHE!
Hail Ba'al!
*The Guy in charge of the jumbotron mutters something.*
Guy: Damn hackers...
*The transmission is cut off just before the hail ba'al, and is returned to the basic advertisements.*
Well, I dont miss meglomaniacs hearing themselves talk, thats for sure.
You must have gotten that a lot...
*Sighs and relaxes.*
You know, I wonder what'd be like. Wearing spandex, knowing you're always in the right, that the people you fight are dastardly evil and deserve the pain you give them...
*The Guy in charge of the jumbotron mutters something.*
Guy: Damn hackers...
*The transmission is cut off just before the hail ba'al, and is returned to the basic advertisements.*
*the next 5 advertisements are the very same program, just with a little extra praising of the Kaiser's generosity and close-combat skills. And they are ALL paid for properly*
*the next 5 advertisements are the very same program, just with a little extra praising of the Kaiser's generosity and close-combat skills. And they are ALL paid for properly*
*The propaganda is interceded by Chinese propaganda... which is very similar... almost disturbingly so.*
*The propaganda is interceded by Chinese propaganda... which is very similar... almost disturbingly so.*
*The Grand Vizier beams down, a few rows ahead of Kuntel and Icerose, ten beautiful women in scanty clothing on each arm*
So this is the AHE's Earth, thought you guys might like it. Um. Still not really sure what to do with a harem...
Red bikini girl: It's fine, Grand Vizier, it looks like kohli ball--that's a sport that's popular on my planet.
Black lace bikini girl: Oh, Mr. Grand Vizier...tell us about your greatness and your exploits!
GV: Well, I really don't think that a Conquest Speech is really appropriate now...I mean, the game's about to start!
Black lace bikini girl: Oh, Mr. Grand Vizier, just tell us the stories of your adventures, no need for the loud voice and the speeches! Tell us how you defeated Diablo, or how you personally slew Ronan the Accuser! *presses dangerously close to the Vizier*
*Disguising his voice to sound like an angry Austrian.*
Take back to the f*ckin' house and f*ck 'em you idiot! Now get out of the damn way!
*Hides his face beneath his hat.*
Oh...but...I'm contractually obligated to...please...them, and we've done it all over my palace so many times I really need to do something else...and the amount of time I need to spend getting treatment and the amount of pills I need to take are really kind of getting out of hand...
I just figured, you know, a ball game wouldn't be too much?
At least he ins't smart enough to get on the field and try it. One time, a wannabe villain did that. Last game of the Season, the Superheroes playing the Yankees. Neither team was going to the playoffs, but it was Derek Jeter's last game to be played. So the "Ocean Master" decided that would be his moment to announce that he was taking over. fans on both sides was jeering him, and he was getting frustrated. Then the old Captain took him down with a a couple of punches. the crowd went wild. Then he went up to bat and got a hit, all the boos came down, but we all knew it was just for show.
Ancient Griffon insult
That one is so stupid, he lost a Rock/Paper/Scissors game to a Pony.
*Disguised voice.* Put some clothes on 'em then, you misogynistic TRIBBLE!
Other Austrian: F*ck off, woman abuser!
Chinese: Sex Swaver!
Austrian: Get a booth!
Chinese: Go home!
Most others: Let the women go! Sex slaver! Woman Abuser! Tyrant!
Red bikini girl: Hey! We're paid good money to dress up like this! And he's actually not bad in the sack, you know! He won't do anything outside of the basics unless you really push him, but he's not bad at all!
And besides, we all signed up for this job of our own free wills, and HE'S the one who has to keep us happy or he bites it! It's in his contract!
Furthermore, on my planet, it's a privilege to wear this much! Clothes of any sort are for the greatest elites! So leave us alone and just let us watch the game!
GV: Look, Trina, maybe this isn't the best time to...
Trina: Shut up, Vizier! I'm sick and tired of everybody assuming that we're slaves! Seriously, have they NEVER read the Code of Ba'al?
GV: Well, this IS an allied state, not the Regime proper...look, maybe we should go, I can get us tickets to the Royal Shakespeare Company...
*Disguised voice.* Oh, so the Regime is SOOOOO powerful! It can't even help solve women's rights on it's own worlds! I can't give clothes to the poor! It's economy is so bad that women have to sell themselves to the government for money!
Austrian: Tyrant! Ba'al is an uncaring tyrant!
Chinese: Woman abusing, evil son of b*tch! Ba'al makes his men f*ck prostitutes against their will!
Others: He probably gives them drugs to make them happy!
*Disguised voice.* Oh, so the Regime is SOOOOO powerful! It can't even help solve women's rights on it's own worlds! I can't give clothes to the poor! It's economy is so bad that women have to sell themselves to the government for money!
Austrian: Tyrant! Ba'al is an uncaring tyrant!
Chinese: Woman abusing, evil son of b*tch! Ba'al makes his men f*ck prostitutes against their will!
Others: He probably gives them drugs to make them happy!
*Trina loses it, jumps on Kuntel, and starts throttling him*
*The Grand Vizier just sort of shrinks into his seat as the harem start yelling obscenities and noting that Trina's planet has a special deal with the Regime that expires in literally two days, and that the only drugs allowed in the Regime are by prescription*
*The Vizier continues to shrink into his seat, despite the dozen or so buxom, scantily-clad women yelling and gesticulating around him. He looks extremely embarrassed, and very, very out of his league*
*Trina loses it, jumps on Kuntel, and starts throttling him*
*The Grand Vizier just sort of shrinks into his seat as the harem start yelling obscenities and noting that Trina's planet has a special deal with the Regime that expires in literally two days, and that the only drugs allowed in the Regime are by prescription*
*The Vizier continues to shrink into his seat, despite the dozen or so buxom, scantily-clad women yelling and gesticulating around him. He looks extremely embarrassed, and very, very out of his league*
*Trina's hands meet extreme heat and start burning on contact,*
Austrian: Do any of you want to do this!? Get f*cked by an evil, absentminded, teenager for money everyday?!
*Trina's hands transform to metal, and her eyes flash silver. It appears that the harem are more than they appear*
Black lace bikini girl: It's fun! Besides, he's cute and he won't do anything unless you ask him to!
Blue silk bikini girl: Yeah! He's all arrogant and stuff in public, but he's really considerate in private! Plus, he needs some love!
Green thong girl: Too considerate if you ask me...but he's adorable when he's crying from the stress...
Black lace bikini girl: Well, Cecille, if you wanted someone with a dirty mind, you should've applied for Ba'al himself!
Cecille: I DID! But his harem's been full for years! There are hardly ever any openings and I'm really low on the waiting list!
*the Grand Vizier continues to look lost and out of his league*
*The metal starts melting.*
*In the aristocratic Austrian accent.*Having fun, Miss Trina?
Austrian woman: The mere fact that I'm hearing this from you makes me hate my gender!
Austrian man: I swear to God, this is the last straw! First I hear the Regime conquer everyone they meet, nearly killed my father and destroyed his sandwich shop for some stupid manhunt that was wrong, and now they brain wash women into doing things like this!
Chinese woman: Or enable them to enjoy their addiction...
*In the aristocratic Austrian accent.*Having fun, Miss Trina?
Trina: That's Senior Agent Trina to you, Kuntel!
Damn it, you should KNOW better than to antagonize us! You KNOW that Ba'al's Regime is a lot more than just the BS tin-pot dictatorship it looks like! You KNOW that we're his bodyguards as well as his...responsibility. You used to be head of Regime Intelligence, you KNOW this stuff.
Seriously, boss! What's wrong with you?
*steps back to allow metal to flow back under skin*
Damn it, you should KNOW better than to antagonize us! You KNOW that Ba'al's Regime is a lot more than just the BS tin-pot dictatorship it looks like! You KNOW that we're his bodyguards as well as his...responsibility. You used to be head of Regime Intelligence, you KNOW this stuff.
Seriously, boss! What's wrong with you?
*steps back to allow metal to flow back under skin*
Just trying to fix something that I have hated for an extremely long time....
*Shrugs.*
That, and I have had it up to here with his beaming in randomly, without doing the proper etiquette or anything. Perhaps have better reign on your charge, please? Make him polite instead just getting f*cked and f*cking anyone up that disagrees with him?
Comments
That's be fun. I actually haven't done that before.
*Smiles.*
Oh! We should get some food!
(Gets in the line for food.)
(Up to the counter.)
footlong chili cheese coney, onions, mustard, no Ketchsup, Onion rings. Big gulp Root Beer.
That one is so stupid, he lost a Rock/Paper/Scissors game to a Pony.
Girl: And you sir?
Me: Cheeseburger, mayo, ketchup, mustard, pickles. Usual stuff. Side of cheese fries. Coke.
Girl: 'Kay. That'll be all?
Me: Yup.
Girl: Kay, 15 krone.
Me: Here ya go.
*Hands her the coins.*
Any particular reason why AHE left USA alone in its anarchy? The world I know of with the AHE, both were close Allies ever since the great war.
That one is so stupid, he lost a Rock/Paper/Scissors game to a Pony.
*Smiles at the girl and takes his food,*
I'd help you with yours, but I only have two hands...
(walks to thier seats.)
So, I have been asking all the questions, you could ask some?
That one is so stupid, he lost a Rock/Paper/Scissors game to a Pony.
*Takes a bite of his burger as he sits down.*
Mmm... what's it like living in a world of superheroes?
GV: Greetings, citizens of the AHE! I am Grand Vizier worffan101 of the Glorious Regime of Supreme System Lord Ba'al, may he live forever.
We in the Regime would like our esteemed allies in the AHE to know that our Glorious Sovereign Ba'al, last of the Goa'uld System Lords and master of all worlds in many universes, is fully supportive of not only the AHE and its continued sovereignty but also of Prince Kuntel von Hapsburg and his soon-to-be wife, Captain Krystal Jade of the Federation starship Lexington.
Anybody who has an issue with the Prince, the Princess, or their upcoming nuptials can take it up with the business end of my star-system-destroying supergun on my oversized command ship, the Superior Force.
Congratulations, Jade and Kuntel! Long Live Prince Kuntel! Long Live Princess Jade! Long Live the AHE!
Hail Ba'al!
Well, I dont miss meglomaniacs hearing themselves talk, thats for sure.
That one is so stupid, he lost a Rock/Paper/Scissors game to a Pony.
*The Guy in charge of the jumbotron mutters something.*
Guy: Damn hackers...
*The transmission is cut off just before the hail ba'al, and is returned to the basic advertisements.*
You must have gotten that a lot...
*Sighs and relaxes.*
You know, I wonder what'd be like. Wearing spandex, knowing you're always in the right, that the people you fight are dastardly evil and deserve the pain you give them...
*the next 5 advertisements are the very same program, just with a little extra praising of the Kaiser's generosity and close-combat skills. And they are ALL paid for properly*
*The propaganda is interceded by Chinese propaganda... which is very similar... almost disturbingly so.*
*The Grand Vizier beams down, a few rows ahead of Kuntel and Icerose, ten beautiful women in scanty clothing on each arm*
So this is the AHE's Earth, thought you guys might like it. Um. Still not really sure what to do with a harem...
Red bikini girl: It's fine, Grand Vizier, it looks like kohli ball--that's a sport that's popular on my planet.
Black lace bikini girl: Oh, Mr. Grand Vizier...tell us about your greatness and your exploits!
GV: Well, I really don't think that a Conquest Speech is really appropriate now...I mean, the game's about to start!
Black lace bikini girl: Oh, Mr. Grand Vizier, just tell us the stories of your adventures, no need for the loud voice and the speeches! Tell us how you defeated Diablo, or how you personally slew Ronan the Accuser! *presses dangerously close to the Vizier*
GV: Uh, OK, I guess.
Still not really sure what to do with a harem.
Hail Ba'al!
Take back to the f*ckin' house and f*ck 'em you idiot! Now get out of the damn way!
*Hides his face beneath his hat.*
Oh...but...I'm contractually obligated to...please...them, and we've done it all over my palace so many times I really need to do something else...and the amount of time I need to spend getting treatment and the amount of pills I need to take are really kind of getting out of hand...
I just figured, you know, a ball game wouldn't be too much?
Hail Ba'al!
Can't f*ck in public, you f*cking idiot! Take 'em to a strip joint, smoke a couple a joints or sometihn'! Get a damn room!
*Several other Austrians and Chinese start cat calling as well, and some even go so far as to flick Worffan off in their respective cultures way.*
Look, I don't want to do that! I am contractually obligated to keep them happy, I'm trying to find a creative way to do that!
And my parents always taught me not to do drugs!
Hail Ba'al!
Other Austrian: F*ck off, woman abuser!
Chinese: Sex Swaver!
Austrian: Get a booth!
Chinese: Go home!
Most others: Let the women go! Sex slaver! Woman Abuser! Tyrant!
At least he ins't smart enough to get on the field and try it. One time, a wannabe villain did that. Last game of the Season, the Superheroes playing the Yankees. Neither team was going to the playoffs, but it was Derek Jeter's last game to be played. So the "Ocean Master" decided that would be his moment to announce that he was taking over. fans on both sides was jeering him, and he was getting frustrated. Then the old Captain took him down with a a couple of punches. the crowd went wild. Then he went up to bat and got a hit, all the boos came down, but we all knew it was just for show.
That one is so stupid, he lost a Rock/Paper/Scissors game to a Pony.
Red bikini girl: Hey! We're paid good money to dress up like this! And he's actually not bad in the sack, you know! He won't do anything outside of the basics unless you really push him, but he's not bad at all!
And besides, we all signed up for this job of our own free wills, and HE'S the one who has to keep us happy or he bites it! It's in his contract!
Furthermore, on my planet, it's a privilege to wear this much! Clothes of any sort are for the greatest elites! So leave us alone and just let us watch the game!
GV: Look, Trina, maybe this isn't the best time to...
Trina: Shut up, Vizier! I'm sick and tired of everybody assuming that we're slaves! Seriously, have they NEVER read the Code of Ba'al?
GV: Well, this IS an allied state, not the Regime proper...look, maybe we should go, I can get us tickets to the Royal Shakespeare Company...
Trina: NO! We're staying here, to make a point!
GV: yes, ma'am.
Hail Ba'al.
Austrian: Tyrant! Ba'al is an uncaring tyrant!
Chinese: Woman abusing, evil son of b*tch! Ba'al makes his men f*ck prostitutes against their will!
Others: He probably gives them drugs to make them happy!
(As Rose smiles)
But its funny
That one is so stupid, he lost a Rock/Paper/Scissors game to a Pony.
And so fun... I could do this for hours. Might even force Ba'al to change his contract...
*Trina loses it, jumps on Kuntel, and starts throttling him*
*The Grand Vizier just sort of shrinks into his seat as the harem start yelling obscenities and noting that Trina's planet has a special deal with the Regime that expires in literally two days, and that the only drugs allowed in the Regime are by prescription*
*The Vizier continues to shrink into his seat, despite the dozen or so buxom, scantily-clad women yelling and gesticulating around him. He looks extremely embarrassed, and very, very out of his league*
*Trina's hands meet extreme heat and start burning on contact,*
Austrian: Do any of you want to do this!? Get f*cked by an evil, absentminded, teenager for money everyday?!
Chinese: It's wrong!
*Trina's hands transform to metal, and her eyes flash silver. It appears that the harem are more than they appear*
Black lace bikini girl: It's fun! Besides, he's cute and he won't do anything unless you ask him to!
Blue silk bikini girl: Yeah! He's all arrogant and stuff in public, but he's really considerate in private! Plus, he needs some love!
Green thong girl: Too considerate if you ask me...but he's adorable when he's crying from the stress...
Black lace bikini girl: Well, Cecille, if you wanted someone with a dirty mind, you should've applied for Ba'al himself!
Cecille: I DID! But his harem's been full for years! There are hardly ever any openings and I'm really low on the waiting list!
*the Grand Vizier continues to look lost and out of his league*
*The metal starts melting.*
*In the aristocratic Austrian accent.*Having fun, Miss Trina?
Austrian woman: The mere fact that I'm hearing this from you makes me hate my gender!
Austrian man: I swear to God, this is the last straw! First I hear the Regime conquer everyone they meet, nearly killed my father and destroyed his sandwich shop for some stupid manhunt that was wrong, and now they brain wash women into doing things like this!
Chinese woman: Or enable them to enjoy their addiction...
Trina: That's Senior Agent Trina to you, Kuntel!
Damn it, you should KNOW better than to antagonize us! You KNOW that Ba'al's Regime is a lot more than just the BS tin-pot dictatorship it looks like! You KNOW that we're his bodyguards as well as his...responsibility. You used to be head of Regime Intelligence, you KNOW this stuff.
Seriously, boss! What's wrong with you?
*steps back to allow metal to flow back under skin*
Just trying to fix something that I have hated for an extremely long time....
*Shrugs.*
That, and I have had it up to here with his beaming in randomly, without doing the proper etiquette or anything. Perhaps have better reign on your charge, please? Make him polite instead just getting f*cked and f*cking anyone up that disagrees with him?