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Stargate Hail Ba'al Rambling

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  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    *Trina's hands transform to metal, and her eyes flash silver. It appears that the harem are more than they appear*

    Black lace bikini girl: It's fun! Besides, he's cute and he won't do anything unless you ask him to!

    Blue silk bikini girl: Yeah! He's all arrogant and stuff in public, but he's really considerate in private! Plus, he needs some love!

    Green thong girl: Too considerate if you ask me...but he's adorable when he's crying from the stress...

    Black lace bikini girl: Well, Cecille, if you wanted someone with a dirty mind, you should've applied for Ba'al himself!

    Cecille: I DID! But his harem's been full for years! There are hardly ever any openings and I'm really low on the waiting list!

    *the Grand Vizier continues to look lost and out of his league*

    *The metal starts melting.*

    *In the aristocratic Austrian accent.*Having fun, Miss Trina?

    Austrian woman: The mere fact that I'm hearing this from you makes me hate my gender!

    Austrian man: I swear to God, this is the last straw! First I hear the Regime conquer everyone they meet, nearly killed my father and destroyed his sandwich shop for some stupid manhunt that was wrong, and now they brain wash women into doing things like this!

    Chinese woman: Or enable them to enjoy their addiction...
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    *The metal starts melting.*

    *In the aristocratic Austrian accent.*Having fun, Miss Trina?

    Trina: That's Senior Agent Trina to you, Kuntel!

    Damn it, you should KNOW better than to antagonize us! You KNOW that Ba'al's Regime is a lot more than just the BS tin-pot dictatorship it looks like! You KNOW that we're his bodyguards as well as his...responsibility. You used to be head of Regime Intelligence, you KNOW this stuff.

    Seriously, boss! What's wrong with you?

    *steps back to allow metal to flow back under skin*
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Trina: That's Senior Agent Trina to you, Kuntel!

    Damn it, you should KNOW better than to antagonize us! You KNOW that Ba'al's Regime is a lot more than just the BS tin-pot dictatorship it looks like! You KNOW that we're his bodyguards as well as his...responsibility. You used to be head of Regime Intelligence, you KNOW this stuff.

    Seriously, boss! What's wrong with you?

    *steps back to allow metal to flow back under skin*

    Just trying to fix something that I have hated for an extremely long time....

    *Shrugs.*

    That, and I have had it up to here with his beaming in randomly, without doing the proper etiquette or anything. Perhaps have better reign on your charge, please? Make him polite instead just getting f*cked and f*cking anyone up that disagrees with him?
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    Just trying to fix something that I have hated for an extremely long time....

    *Shrugs.*

    That, and I have had it up to here with his beaming in randomly, without doing the proper etiquette or anything. Perhaps have better reign on your charge, please? Make him polite instead just getting f*cked and f*cking anyone up that disagrees with him?

    We're working on that. He's got issues, as I'm sure you know.

    Being barely 18 and suddenly being the de facto ruler of an interuniversal empire and having a harem of hot superpowered killers can do that to a man. I don't know what the hell Ba'al saw in him, but I suppose that you know, sir.

    Oh, and congrats on the upcoming wedding. I've seen your fiancee, very nice. She deserves a good man like you.

    Hail Ba'al.
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    Why thank you Trina. And if I may suggest something, perhaps you could have Ba'al call in a ... regent for Worffan? Give him some time until he knows the proper ways to conduct himself in public.

    *Rolls shoulders.*

    And without your influence. Drop him on a backwater planet and let him try and survive? Socially, not physically, I mean.
  • icerose20icerose20 Member Posts: 18,379 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    (Rose stretches in the chair)

    Let me know when the games starts
    Ancient Griffon insult

    That one is so stupid, he lost a Rock/Paper/Scissors game to a Pony.
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    Why thank you Trina. And if I may suggest something, perhaps you could have Ba'al call in a ... regent for Worffan? Give him some time until he knows the proper ways to conduct himself in public.

    *Rolls shoulders.*

    And without your influence. Drop him on a backwater planet and let him try and survive? Socially, not physically, I mean.

    We tried. Ba'al said no.

    Something about an arrogant teenager with no self-confidence being the perfect litmus test for whether he should annihilate, conquer, or ally with an organization?
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    I think it's about to...

    *Looks between Trina's rather voluptuous figure and the arguments of the crowd to the field, where the game is indeed starting.*
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    We tried. Ba'al said no.

    Something about an arrogant teenager with no self-confidence being the perfect litmus test for whether he should annihilate, conquer, or ally with an organization?

    Tell Ba'al that it is in no way to determine those things. Some people might just not like Worffan, or Worffan himself might start the war accidently.
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    Tell Ba'al that it is in no way to determine those things. Some people might just not like Worffan, or Worffan himself might start the war accidently.

    Ba'al said that that's a matter for the academics, and that it's worked just fine so far.

    Besides, the Vizier's actually a pretty decent guy, beneath the arrogance and crippling self-doubt.
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    I know. But, as I said, he's inconsiderate, jingoistic most of the time, and too mentally unstable to handle anything important.
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    I know. But, as I said, he's inconsiderate, jingoistic most of the time, and too mentally unstable to handle anything important.

    *grabs hot dog from passing vendor, tosses small sack of gold in its place, and starts eating*

    I dunno about mentally stable. Way out of his depth, yeah. Inconsiderate, definitely. Jingoistic...depends. But he's not insane, not really.

    Anyway, can you quiet your people down? I was actually kind of looking forward to this game.
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    Don't know why. The Chinese are going to win...

    *Lifts his hand to his mouth, and in his disguised voice.*

    Hey, quiet down you louts! The game's 'bouta start!

    *They quiet down after a while.*

    *And the vendor looks at the sack of gold, rolls his eyes, picks out a coin and throws the bag right back at Trina.*
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    Don't know why. The Chinese are going to win...

    *Lifts his hand to his mouth, and in his disguised voice.*

    Hey, quiet down you louts! The game's 'bouta start!

    *They quiet down after a while.*

    *And the vendor looks at the sack of gold, rolls his eyes, picks out a coin and throws the bag right back at Trina.*

    *Trina catches it, and stuffs it into what appears to be smooth skin*

    I love these suits.

    Congrats on the wedding, boss.

    *makes her way back to her seat*
  • icerose20icerose20 Member Posts: 18,379 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    I hope this is either a game between gorillas teams or we are getting pitchers battle.
    Ancient Griffon insult

    That one is so stupid, he lost a Rock/Paper/Scissors game to a Pony.
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    What?

    *Raises an eyebrow.*
  • icerose20icerose20 Member Posts: 18,379 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    Im not thrilled that Wroffan and his entourage crashed this game. Its gonna be a thrilling game to get my mind of this.....insult.
    Ancient Griffon insult

    That one is so stupid, he lost a Rock/Paper/Scissors game to a Pony.
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    Yeah... well, I can tell you one thing, the Chinese will win...
  • icerose20icerose20 Member Posts: 18,379 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    That is the reason why i like sports, you never know what can happen.
    Ancient Griffon insult

    That one is so stupid, he lost a Rock/Paper/Scissors game to a Pony.
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    Oh no, they'll win. The Chinese always cheat. And Austria does her best, but when the refs are in the other teams pocket and can go selectively blind...

    *Shrugs.*

    It'll be a good game, just the outcome will be the same.
  • icerose20icerose20 Member Posts: 18,379 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    You ever heard of Jim Abbot, Kuntel?

    He was a pitcher during the 80s and 90s. He threw a perfect game. One of 24 perfect games in MLB and he was born with only one hand. One game, one pitcher, all it takes to change history.
    Ancient Griffon insult

    That one is so stupid, he lost a Rock/Paper/Scissors game to a Pony.
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    Bet it wouldn't help if the refs called every foul imaginable while his team was hitting. Or on the outfield. Or the bases.

    *Chuckles as the refs call a blantantly trumped up foul.*
  • icerose20icerose20 Member Posts: 18,379 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    (Rose puts in the pitch in her scorecard.)

    We shall see.
    Ancient Griffon insult

    That one is so stupid, he lost a Rock/Paper/Scissors game to a Pony.
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    *Over the course of the game, a miraculous thing happened. Despite the refs doing everything they could to stop them, the Austrian Holy Roman Eagles started winning. At some points, stands and yells with the crowd.*

    Come on, Kahn! Catch that!

    *Ref calls a foul.*

    Sind Sie verdammt blind? Er deutlich , dass gefangen !(Are you ****ing blind? He clearly caught that!)

    *Austrians start booing.*
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    Grand Vizier: Go Austria! Hail der Kaiser! Hail Ba'al!

    *A ball, thrown by one of the Chinese players, streaks for his head at eighty miles an hour, but is plucked out of the air by Black Lace Bikini Girl, AKA Lucille, whose fingernails look just a little too sharp for a human baseline*

    GV: Uh...whoah.

    Hey, ref! That was totally against the rules! You can't deny he did that on purpose!

    Hail Austria! Hail Ba'al!
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    *The ref calls a foul on Austria, saying a rabid fan caught a ball still in play.*
  • icerose20icerose20 Member Posts: 18,379 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    You know, Kuntel. Back where i come from, its a major crime for umpires and referees to show blatant favoritism.
    Ancient Griffon insult

    That one is so stupid, he lost a Rock/Paper/Scissors game to a Pony.
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    *To Trina*

    Should I get the Legions of Doom (tm) and have them teach that ref a few lessons about favoritism?

    Trina: Um...

    *looks to Kuntel*
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    Yeah... doesn't help when the police are scared of the Chinese spies breaking their kneecaps if they call the game.

    *Austria gets a perfect home run, bases loaded. The refs can't do anything.*

    Hah! Take that, you communist TRIBBLE!
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    *To Trina*

    Should I get the Legions of Doom (tm) and have them teach that ref a few lessons about favoritism?

    Trina: Um...

    *looks to Kuntel*

    No. And Trina, remind him every time he offers that that violence is not always the answer...
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