I decided to break from reading the stories in order as posted for now. Previously it was to tackle the shorter ones due to time constraints at work, but this time it was due to a specific interest:
@marcusdkane - Yowza racy start! I'm not used to reading material like that so I had to force myself out of a particular comfort and expectancy zone (if that makes sense). I almost felt a little 'dirty' reading it because it was so well-written I was like a voyeur to an intimate moment. If there is a thought that has stuck with me though it is replicating a PADD and requesting it be built to allow security codes. Also, that Amanda would request it in front of someone she basically just met who is not in Starfleet raised eyebrows to me. Wouldn't that be like a breach of security? T'Reya has captured my attention, so I hope to see more of her interacting with Palmer. Ferraudi - I get that
Yowza racy start! I'm not used to reading material like that so I had to force myself out of a particular comfort and expectancy zone (if that makes sense). I almost felt a little 'dirty' reading it because it was so well-written I was like a voyeur to an intimate moment.
Would you feel it was going too far? I figured that to cut things at "the bedroom's this way..." would just be a cop out, so wanted to show something, without having things getting too graphic . I'm glad you felt it was well written, as that's not a subject I tend to write often
If there is a thought that has stuck with me though it is replicating a PADD and requesting it be built to allow security codes. Also, that Amanda would request it in front of someone she basically just met who is not in Starfleet raised eyebrows to me. Wouldn't that be like a breach of security?
To be honest, yes, it probably was, but I figure if Renata was to try and use the same codes, voice ID would still lock her out of the system I just wanted to keep Amanda planet side, so T'Reya would have to track her down, and quote the regulation ^_^
Going to far? Nah. But it *is* a departure from what is expected on this forum and (dare I say) in Star Trek overall. I mean, it's a big galaxy, and being fall in love, or at least copulate for procreation if not recreation. The point is, it happens.
So, I can't say it goes too far. If it stretched your writing portfolio, then that is good because these are Literary "Challenges".
It was well-written, and from where I sit, not gratuitous.
Going to far? Nah. But it *is* a departure from what is expected on this forum and (dare I say) in Star Trek overall. I mean, it's a big galaxy, and being fall in love, or at least copulate for procreation if not recreation. The point is, it happens.
So, I can't say it goes too far. If it stretched your writing portfolio, then that is good because these are Literary "Challenges".
It was well-written, and from where I sit, not gratuitous.
I'm glad it didn't come across as gratuitous, I wasn't attempting to shock, I just figure that Risa is always depicted as an 'anything goes' venue, so was in that context as a follow on from the original Risa challenge And indeed, it was definitely a stretch to handle (I hope tastefully) and equally, I hope the film and TV references I threw in were fun :cool:
I have to admit, I stopped reading very quickly. I am just not interested in reading what goes on in someone's bedroom...sorry.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
I have to admit, I stopped reading very quickly. I am just not interested in reading what goes on in someone's bedroom...sorry.
Thanks for your honesty There is more to the entry than just that, below the first set of asterisks, but if you'd rather skip the entry, I'm certainly not offended
There are those that can do love scenes/'adult content' scenes well and tastefully enough to not be gratuitous or disgusting while still communicating the idea across.
Then, there's the rest of us, who can only use broad, oblique hints. (Kind of like writing horror-the creepiest horror is the one the writer neer outright shows you...The common thread between the two is in your hippocampus-the gut reaction and in your forebrain-the imagining of what's not explicitly described...)
It's tough to evoke strong emotional reactions, and some subjects are touchier than others and require added discretion (either because of community rules such as the forum or FCC guidelines, or because of a writer's own social mores-which their characters may, in fact, not share), I think Marcus did a very good job of handling a tough to write subject in a way that invokes strong feelings in the readers without crossing that fine line.
I find horror and conflict easier to handle than romance-so when the latter is actually done WELL, I'm impressed and delighted-'cause it's something I can't do myself worth a damn.
I knew the beginning of the entry wouldn't necessarily be to everyone's taste, but I'm glad you felt it was well-handled and enjoyable
@ambassadormolari - Spo0o0oo0oooky! Beware the doors! I loved this and was thoroughly captivated. I would have atomized the Blackstone after getting the officer reports, then "nuke the [cities] from orbit. it's the only way to be sure". :P
@sander233 - That was a great entry. Utterly different than everything else. VERY well done! Although I'm curious how Soval only had a slight bump to the head when the Tiburon was rammed. Then again, with 200-ish crew, I guess only having 47 casualties is ... good?
@masopw - Now *this* was a great idea and I loved the ending here. All the characters were easy to enjoy.
@rextoran36 - I think this was a good set-up and I wonder if the outcome will be presented to us.
By the way, anyone know a Romulan word for Asylum or sanctuary?
According to one Romulan language site I found, the word for "refuge" is faelh, if that helps. (It's on the Internet, so take it with a grain of salt, though.)
Incidentally, chalk me up as another fan of a) events on the "Blackstone", and b) Grunt pwning T'nae....
@shevet - Yet again, hell yeah. I wish I could critique ... something, but I can't! It's really good writing I'm curious, do you use an android in game?
More like knowing how a Vulcan's logic works and using it against them--at least, that's how I see it.
I've been going over the Rules of Acquisition, but I haven't been able to find the applicable Rule for what must be a concept in Ferengi society - "Always know the laws. It makes it easier to find the loopholes."
Grunt knew what Federation law said about salvage outside Fed space, because that was very important to him already. He probably looked up the laws regarding AIs while Mycroft was being examined. He needed to talk to Vovonek, though, to see what Pakled laws and traditions said about salvage - could Grunt claim that the computer system wasn't really his, or would it be like Ferengi law, where the salvage would belong to the commanding officer? Fortunately, Pakled law said it belonged to the one who found it...
His intent was that if T'Nae wanted the system, he would have to have an airtight legal reason why that couldn't happen - because going pirate while standing in an admiral's office is frowned upon, even on Ferenginar. And he wasn't about to give up his accidental supercomputer.
@shevet - Yet again, hell yeah. I wish I could critique ... something, but I can't! It's really good writing I'm curious, do you use an android in game?
Thanks for the kind words! Yes, I use androids - mostly, the bridge officers in these things parallel the ones I have in-game (hence Tylha's excessive list of bit players - I've built up quite a number of boffs there!)
Yet another chapter that stretched a little longer than I expected. (I blame MDK for throwing an immortal into the mix.)
The good news (?) is that this chapter is the last one. I've tied off all the loose ends, especially the big ones with Eighty-Six and Rusty.
There will still be an epilogue which will be a sort of "Where do we go from here" sort of thing and will tie into current events in Patrick's "Chase" but I'll take a little break before I get to that.
I have a lot of reading and commenting to catch up on. I've read a couple of recent entries here and they are really great!
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
@jonsills - Yay Grunt! That was a great "FU" moment. I should get in on some T'Nae hate
@knightraider6 - That was a touching piece. AND included some Rush, which is always awesome. One line reminded me of "The Last Samurai" too (a very good flick imo)!
Now that I am caught up reading , I can get back to writing :P
@shevet - I've been debating using an android BOff ... but I finally got my BOff layout where I want them in-game and in these LCs. To add another would be an "argh" moment for now. I'm still curious though.
@shevet - I've been debating using an android BOff ... but I finally got my BOff layout where I want them in-game and in these LCs. To add another would be an "argh" moment for now. I'm still curious though.
Being something of a hoarder, I've got a whole bunch of different ships - and try to have a decent boff layout for each of them! Which means a lot of boffs... "Uncle Kophil", for example, has good beam skills, so I have him slotted on the Wells timeship and the Breen cruiser (which is now a weird hybrid of Nukara, Romulan and Breen tech); Anthi and Nozys sit on my Charal escort and do fun things with its cannons and torps, instead.
Androids, in-game, make for pretty useful science officers in general... they're useful, I think, in these challenges, because you can imagine them being programmed for a whole range of different behaviours - which makes them very plastic, as characters. I've envisaged Tylha's android Amiga, for example, as having rather better "social" programming than, say, Data ever got - so she gets to be a deadpan snarker type who can fence verbally with Kophil, among her other skills.
(I've been tinkering with the idea of doing a longer piece which would involve some of my other in-game alts... and their crews, of course. Dunno how far I'll get with that though!)
@masopw - I really loved that last entry. I was having flashbacks to my senior project at engineering school. I really loved all of the 20th Century-tech detail you threw in there. And Sotek is simply the coolest Vulcan ever. :cool:
@rextorvan36 - nice, tight little entry. I liked your description of Kererek's office.
@shevat - I loved the way you referenced Tovan and Satra etc. as being part of the crew but kept the focus on the officers that you created. I also really enjoyed that opening scene.
@marcusdkane - excellent entry. Definitely pushed a few boundaries but well-restrained when you reached the edge. Was Palmer's OpSec breach deliberate? Does she want Renata to be able to access all of her files if she wants to? Either way, an intriguing relationship in development there. :cool:
@aten66 - interesting story so far, with multiple points of view scattered across the timeline. Can't wait to see how you tie it all together!
@jonsils - I see the Ferengi talent for contractual obfuscation serves Grunt well, at least when he needs to 'tie his hands' with an inextricable knot of legalese. Hilariously written, as usual.
@knightraider - awesome entry. I'm very impressed by the way you bring out Evan's emotional complexity in this one.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
A bit long, but I couldn't find any way to break it up cleanly. The formatting of the paragraph sections is, as I usually do, a bit random to make it easier on the eyes, but I may tweek it a bit after I get some sleep.
excellent entry. Definitely pushed a few boundaries but well-restrained when you reached the edge. Was Palmer's OpSec breach deliberate? Does she want Renata to be able to access all of her files if she wants to? Either way, an intriguing relationship in development there.
Yes and no... I view the order as a single-use of her authorization to over-ride civilian restrictions on replicating Starfleet equipment, which would only work that time because of voice recognition. I wanted to keep her on the planet's surface a while longer so T'Reya would have to stalk her down, rather than just reporing to the readyroom while Laing had her little whine, and figure Renata's classy enough to not try and hack the replicator system to get more restricted goodies I don't think they'll start inboxing TRIBBLE to each other, but if Amanda was to visit Risa, then there'd likely be booty-calls How many of the film/tv references did you catch?
I really enjoyed Part X, and glad to see Rusty pull through :cool: I loved the scene between S'rR's and Drake, and her target designation (although her name is pronounced 'Cirrus' like the clouds )
A bit long, but I couldn't find any way to break it up cleanly. The formatting of the paragraph sections is, as I usually do, a bit random to make it easier on the eyes, but I may tweek it a bit after I get some sleep.
Enjoy!
Very interesting.
So your Romulan Character took control of a small group of Borg Cubes, effectively sacrificing herself in order to destroy the Tal Shiar base?
Very interesting indeed--I assume that now your crew wants to get her back, so that's going to be the focus of your next few LCs?
Well, I'm definitely looking forward to seeing that. :cool:
So your Romulan Character took control of a small group of Borg Cubes, effectively sacrificing herself in order to destroy the Tal Shiar base?
Aiiieeee, spoiler alert!!! :eek:
Meh, I just got to "the Vault" mission in-game so I'm looking forward to reading this piece for some inspiration to get through it. The Walkthrough on Wiki makes it seem this mission will be ... challenging ... and NOT short.
A bit long, but I couldn't find any way to break it up cleanly. The formatting of the paragraph sections is, as I usually do, a bit random to make it easier on the eyes, but I may tweek it a bit after I get some sleep.
Enjoy!
Fantastic entry :cool: Awesome situation for Rycho, and loving the idea of an MU ship cruising the prime universe :cool:
Meh, I just got to "the Vault" mission in-game so I'm looking forward to reading this piece for some inspiration to get through it. The Walkthrough on Wiki makes it seem this mission will be ... challenging ... and NOT short.
The Vault is the one where you're investigating the facility in the Haakona system, yes? If so, it helps a lot if you belong to one of the two factions that can cloak...
The Vault is the one where you're investigating the facility in the Haakona system, yes? If so, it helps a lot if you belong to one of the two factions that can cloak...
<--- Fed only because that's how I roll. SO, I anticipate spending some time on that mission :P Maaaybe it'll be worth an LC entry
@danqueller - Riveting! Rycho is growing on me now. Great post!
A bit long, but I couldn't find any way to break it up cleanly. The formatting of the paragraph sections is, as I usually do, a bit random to make it easier on the eyes, but I may tweek it a bit after I get some sleep.
Enjoy!
Terrific piece. I really, really like Rycho. Mostly because he's even nastier and more devious than the average Romulan, but also the flashes of nobility you et shine through. I really loved the ending of this one.
The last sentence of the first paragraph was a bit awkward though. You might want to consider splitting that and rearranging the second half of it to give it a more active voice.
Yes and no... I view the order as a single-use of her authorization to over-ride civilian restrictions on replicating Starfleet equipment, which would only work that time because of voice recognition. I wanted to keep her on the planet's surface a while longer so T'Reya would have to stalk her down, rather than just reporing to the readyroom while Laing had her little whine, and figure Renata's classy enough to not try and hack the replicator system to get more restricted goodies. I don't think they'll start inboxing TRIBBLE to each other, but if Amanda was to visit Risa, then there'd likely be booty-calls
Hmm. Perhaps it's the spy thriller writer in me trying to get out but I see all sorts of interesting plot developments that could arise.
How many of the film/tv references did you catch?
Oh, not half of them, I'm sure. But I did enjoy Captain Jack and his Ferraudi. (Although my inner automotive connoisseur is repulsed by the notion of such a merger.)
I really enjoyed Part X, and glad to see Rusty pull through. I loved the scene between S'rR's and Drake, and her target designation (although her name is pronounced 'Cirrus' like the clouds)
Yeah, I knew that, but I liked the way Target Sirius looked a lot better. I felt kinda bad about deus ex machina'ing I'sH'd out of the scene by putting him in stasis but it was already getting overly complicated just to send S'rR's away, and I really needed to bring the focus back to what was going on with Rusty and Ssharki's family.
Meh, I just got to "the Vault" mission in-game so I'm looking forward to reading this piece for some inspiration to get through it. The Walkthrough on Wiki makes it seem this mission will be ... challenging ... and NOT short.
It's not that hard, it's just complex (which is a good thing, I think.) Make sure your BOff has Fire at Will or Torp spread and you'll be fine.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Comments
@marcusdkane - Yowza racy start! I'm not used to reading material like that so I had to force myself out of a particular comfort and expectancy zone (if that makes sense). I almost felt a little 'dirty' reading it because it was so well-written I was like a voyeur to an intimate moment. If there is a thought that has stuck with me though it is replicating a PADD and requesting it be built to allow security codes. Also, that Amanda would request it in front of someone she basically just met who is not in Starfleet raised eyebrows to me. Wouldn't that be like a breach of security? T'Reya has captured my attention, so I hope to see more of her interacting with Palmer. Ferraudi - I get that
To be honest, yes, it probably was, but I figure if Renata was to try and use the same codes, voice ID would still lock her out of the system
I had the idea after writing this piece the other week, and I think she's going to be an interesting character to explore more fully ^_^
Would Captain Jack Harkness drive anything else in that era?
So, I can't say it goes too far. If it stretched your writing portfolio, then that is good because these are Literary "Challenges".
It was well-written, and from where I sit, not gratuitous.
I'm glad it didn't come across as gratuitous, I wasn't attempting to shock, I just figure that Risa is always depicted as an 'anything goes' venue, so was in that context as a follow on from the original Risa challenge
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
@sander233 - That was a great entry. Utterly different than everything else. VERY well done! Although I'm curious how Soval only had a slight bump to the head when the Tiburon was rammed. Then again, with 200-ish crew, I guess only having 47 casualties is ... good?
@masopw - Now *this* was a great idea and I loved the ending here. All the characters were easy to enjoy.
@rextoran36 - I think this was a good set-up and I wonder if the outcome will be presented to us.
By the way, anyone know a Romulan word for Asylum or sanctuary?
@Marcusdkane: Wow..umm...I love it, especially the ending with T'Reya
@Knightrider6: *Whah* Now you made me cry...I'm not as strong as Rhonda with her feelings....*Bawwlling* I loved it!
@jonsillis: I already like Mycroft. Grunt Ftw! out logic-ing a Vulcan, if there is such a thing....
More like knowing how a Vulcan's logic works and using it against them--at least, that's how I see it.
Regardless, I agree--great work, jonsills!!
Looking forward to the update :cool: I had a look in an online Federation-Romulan dictionary, and nothing, I'm afraid...
Thanks, I think she's going to be fun to write more about
According to one Romulan language site I found, the word for "refuge" is faelh, if that helps. (It's on the Internet, so take it with a grain of salt, though.)
Incidentally, chalk me up as another fan of a) events on the "Blackstone", and b) Grunt pwning T'nae....
Grunt knew what Federation law said about salvage outside Fed space, because that was very important to him already. He probably looked up the laws regarding AIs while Mycroft was being examined. He needed to talk to Vovonek, though, to see what Pakled laws and traditions said about salvage - could Grunt claim that the computer system wasn't really his, or would it be like Ferengi law, where the salvage would belong to the commanding officer? Fortunately, Pakled law said it belonged to the one who found it...
His intent was that if T'Nae wanted the system, he would have to have an airtight legal reason why that couldn't happen - because going pirate while standing in an admiral's office is frowned upon, even on Ferenginar. And he wasn't about to give up his accidental supercomputer.
Yet another chapter that stretched a little longer than I expected. (I blame MDK for throwing an immortal into the mix.)
The good news (?) is that this chapter is the last one. I've tied off all the loose ends, especially the big ones with Eighty-Six and Rusty.
There will still be an epilogue which will be a sort of "Where do we go from here" sort of thing and will tie into current events in Patrick's "Chase" but I'll take a little break before I get to that.
I have a lot of reading and commenting to catch up on. I've read a couple of recent entries here and they are really great!
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
@knightraider6 - That was a touching piece. AND included some Rush, which is always awesome. One line reminded me of "The Last Samurai" too (a very good flick imo)!
Now that I am caught up reading , I can get back to writing :P
@shevet - I've been debating using an android BOff ... but I finally got my BOff layout where I want them in-game and in these LCs. To add another would be an "argh" moment for now. I'm still curious though.
Androids, in-game, make for pretty useful science officers in general... they're useful, I think, in these challenges, because you can imagine them being programmed for a whole range of different behaviours - which makes them very plastic, as characters. I've envisaged Tylha's android Amiga, for example, as having rather better "social" programming than, say, Data ever got - so she gets to be a deadpan snarker type who can fence verbally with Kophil, among her other skills.
(I've been tinkering with the idea of doing a longer piece which would involve some of my other in-game alts... and their crews, of course. Dunno how far I'll get with that though!)
@rextorvan36 - nice, tight little entry. I liked your description of Kererek's office.
@shevat - I loved the way you referenced Tovan and Satra etc. as being part of the crew but kept the focus on the officers that you created. I also really enjoyed that opening scene.
@marcusdkane - excellent entry. Definitely pushed a few boundaries but well-restrained when you reached the edge. Was Palmer's OpSec breach deliberate? Does she want Renata to be able to access all of her files if she wants to? Either way, an intriguing relationship in development there. :cool:
@aten66 - interesting story so far, with multiple points of view scattered across the timeline. Can't wait to see how you tie it all together!
@jonsils - I see the Ferengi talent for contractual obfuscation serves Grunt well, at least when he needs to 'tie his hands' with an inextricable knot of legalese. Hilariously written, as usual.
@knightraider - awesome entry. I'm very impressed by the way you bring out Evan's emotional complexity in this one.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
A bit long, but I couldn't find any way to break it up cleanly. The formatting of the paragraph sections is, as I usually do, a bit random to make it easier on the eyes, but I may tweek it a bit after I get some sleep.
Enjoy!
I really enjoyed Part X, and glad to see Rusty pull through :cool: I loved the scene between S'rR's and Drake, and her target designation (although her name is pronounced 'Cirrus' like the clouds
Very interesting.
So your Romulan Character took control of a small group of Borg Cubes, effectively sacrificing herself in order to destroy the Tal Shiar base?
Very interesting indeed--I assume that now your crew wants to get her back, so that's going to be the focus of your next few LCs?
Well, I'm definitely looking forward to seeing that. :cool:
Aiiieeee, spoiler alert!!! :eek:
Meh, I just got to "the Vault" mission in-game so I'm looking forward to reading this piece for some inspiration to get through it. The Walkthrough on Wiki makes it seem this mission will be ... challenging ... and NOT short.
<--- Fed only because that's how I roll. SO, I anticipate spending some time on that mission :P Maaaybe it'll be worth an LC entry
@danqueller - Riveting! Rycho is growing on me now. Great post!
Terrific piece. I really, really like Rycho. Mostly because he's even nastier and more devious than the average Romulan, but also the flashes of nobility you et shine through. I really loved the ending of this one.
The last sentence of the first paragraph was a bit awkward though. You might want to consider splitting that and rearranging the second half of it to give it a more active voice.
Hmm. Perhaps it's the spy thriller writer in me trying to get out but I see all sorts of interesting plot developments that could arise.
Oh, not half of them, I'm sure. But I did enjoy Captain Jack and his Ferraudi.
Yeah, I knew that, but I liked the way Target Sirius looked a lot better. I felt kinda bad about deus ex machina'ing I'sH'd out of the scene by putting him in stasis but it was already getting overly complicated just to send S'rR's away, and I really needed to bring the focus back to what was going on with Rusty and Ssharki's family.
More! More! ...please.
That was an excellent ending. I thought it was good where you left it but you've definitely improved it.
It's not that hard, it's just complex (which is a good thing, I think.) Make sure your BOff has Fire at Will or Torp spread and you'll be fine.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon