By all means feel free, I view the computer library access information retrieval engram as an update in the lcars software, so no reason why she couldn't be on other ships too And of course, different experiences would create an entirely new personality, one who may choose a different appearance, so plenty of options :cool:
I might. Though I also might do a different kind of AI for a different ship, and give it a different acronym.
There are a few AIs with names I like--Cortana, ADA, Pharsti... just need to think of an appropriate one.
@ wraithshadow13 - the eggs were an interesting idea. I noticed that you have a few small mistakes, like using "where" instead of "were" and splitting words like "doorway" into "door way" and "fingertips" into "finger tips." If you look you'll spot them.
. A line saying something like, "the cadet piloting the shuttle tried for an expressionless face....but you could see that he was glad he wasn't on the receiving end of ch'Raul's anger" could tell us there's a third person onboard, and would be a good set up for the punch line, making the reader think, "he saw what the brass is capable of...is he *that* dumb to fall asleep?!".
Thanks for the feedback. I updated my entry to make it clearer.
You beat yourself up too much. All of us have written things we aren't necessarily proud of. But how do you get better at writing? By reading a lot, writing a lot, and accepting constructive criticism.
I've started a new procedure for my writing - finish writing, wait a day or two, then edit and post. This has helped me catch some issues beforehand, though mistakes still slip through. I also started reading books on writing. You might find some of these to be helpful.
One other thought - one time I posted an LC entry and made a snide remark in the discussion thread about how I thought it wasn't my best work. It was obvious that most people read my remark and decided to skip that entry. I learned a lesson - let the readers decide for themselves.
@ wraithshadow13 - the eggs were an interesting idea. I noticed that you have a few small mistakes, like using "where" instead of "were" and splitting words like "doorway" into "door way" and "fingertips" into "finger tips." If you look you'll spot them.
Ha, I'l have to go back and fix that. I have a bad habit of doing these overnight, so i tend to be a little loopy sometimes by the finish.
Very nice piece I had been expecting Admiral ch'Harrell, but this was a welcome surprise It was nice to see Alyosha relaxed around another, rather than worrying if his nature would be exposed, and I hope we'll see more of Berat in future LCs
Some people really seem to have a gift when it comes to putting others at ease around them. Berat is definitely one of those people. I also think that Berat has a record that speaks for itself, when it comes to how he treats those who are unlike him. Having a chief engineer who looks like a full Borg drone but with fully human emotions and the attendant social anxiety problems that come with that shows his tolerance and ability to look past appearances.
So I think that Alyosha suspects that if Berat did find out, or does already know, that this is someone who will not hold it against him.
I wonder what he would think of Meliden, especially now she permanently looks like a Human
A conflicted mess of emotions, for sure.
On one hand, he would feel sad for her; I'm not sure he believes in "international adoption." He doesn't want Cardassia to be somewhere so terrible that people take children away as some sort of mercy.
Yet he would also feel ashamed. He's very aware of Cardassian sins, and may feel like perhaps she did this because the sin of his people was too great for her to bear.
His feelings towards Cardassia are incredibly complex. He loves his people--Cardassian individuals, certain cultural items, but due to past events...I'm actually not sure he trusts Cardassia to full self-rule. His trust in Cardassia's ability to govern itself and wield power without abuse has been burned.
He probably doesn't admit this to most people, though his actions in working so closely with the Federation are probably enough that the True Way can guess, and has targeted him. He is indeed their antithesis, and everything they would despise. Whether that's a good thing in him or a flaw, that his feelings are so strong in the matter that he questions his people's ability to handle sovereignty...that's for you to judge, but that's how he is.
I wonder how Marcus would've felt about that, if he'd found out Admiral Berat's inner feelings on the subject, considering how he despises Cardassia(ns?).
Gulberat: Huzzah, we finally get to meet Berat! Very well-written exchange between him and Alyosha, and I appreciate the fact that you were careful to tie in some of your earlier stories as well (Gul Tassok's daughter in particular). Post-Dominion Cardassia always intrigued me as a concept, and I'm glad that I'm not the only one who saw the in-game parallels between Cardassia and the Romulans (re: both still recovering from a major disaster, and getting embroiled in a civil war).
Well done. Your story actually has me wishing for a Cardassian faction sometime in the future...
Thanks.
Playing a Cardassian toon on New Romulus gave me a very different experience compared to the unpleasant grind a lot of people have described. I could actually see him taking an interest in what happened to the Mol'Rihannsu and getting to know them. And being appalled by the stuff that appears as dialogue choices in the "motivate workers" thing in the Staging Area, and deciding he should say something very different instead.
Patrick--I haven't followed your stories that closely, I'm afraid, so I'm not familiar with Drake Tran. But I'm glad you liked Admiral Berat!
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
@sharpie65: Doesn't sound finished, didn't this have more?
@grylak: Short, cute and sweet. I wonder if she shipped the extras off to that tribble reservation from that misssion.
@masopw: Interesting continuing story. Thought the thought of a vulcan talking like that kinda breaks my mind.
@patrickngo: That vulcan has a sick sick mind. Love the story.
@marcusdkane: Very good action sequence, but maybe needs a bit more story. Not sure.
@knightraider6: Wait a minute, this is the IKS Fluttershy again, isn't it. And Mcfly'd? Nice story, I loved it. Honestly I think that Cryptic should hire a few of your guys, you've got a better reason for the current state of the galaxy than they do it seems.
@rextorvan36: Not bad. It still have a bit of a this stuff happened feel, which might not be bad, but you also left some stuff hanging, like what the message was, and what was going on with Veril. But not bad.
@shevet: Yet again, very nice, love the interogation scene. The way you had Kluthli acting reminded me of Sylvie from Bubblegum Crisis so now she is stuck looking like that in my head, but with green skin. Not a bad thing though. And I love your descriptions.
@aten66: Funny one. I'll echo the Skippy comments.
@wraithshadow13: Ah Q. Never gets old. Nice story, good blend of action and dialogue, very classic TNG feel.
@superhombre777: Funny and sad, in equal part. a good mix for this story I think.
@danqueller: Very Romulan and a very good story. I hope they make it somehow.
@azniadeet: Good story, Trek feel, but maybe a bit too much of the galactic reset button with the new species. Or that could be me.
@jonsills: Hey Grunt didn't lose a ship. And very disturbing images, really made the Elachi a threat. Nice story.
@cmdrscarlet: I think this version ran a bit better than that last. Also, you ever watch space battleship Yamato or Argo in the US? Just curious because of your asteroid defence.
@patchouli19: Interesting continuation. And a nice pause before the storm piece.
@gulberat: Insightful piece, and well written. A bit slower than what I like to read, but very good.
Some people really seem to have a gift when it comes to putting others at ease around them. Berat is definitely one of those people. I also think that Berat has a record that speaks for itself, when it comes to how he treats those who are unlike him. Having a chief engineer who looks like a full Borg drone but with fully human emotions and the attendant social anxiety problems that come with that shows his tolerance and ability to look past appearances.
So I think that Alyosha suspects that if Berat did find out, or does already know, that this is someone who will not hold it against him.
It was definitely a welcome change to see than Alyosha's continual defensiveness, I hope we will see more of Berat in the future
On one hand, he would feel sad for her; I'm not sure he believes in "international adoption." He doesn't want Cardassia to be somewhere so terrible that people take children away as some sort of mercy.
Yet he would also feel ashamed. He's very aware of Cardassian sins, and may feel like perhaps she did this because the sin of his people was too great for her to bear.
His feelings towards Cardassia are incredibly complex. He loves his people--Cardassian individuals, certain cultural items, but due to past events...I'm actually not sure he trusts Cardassia to full self-rule. His trust in Cardassia's ability to govern itself and wield power without abuse has been burned.
I wouldn't say that she feels the sins of the Cardassian people in the way Alyosha does with the Devidians, but was simply raised entirely surrounded by Human culture, and treated no differently than a Human child, so she had always experienced a body dysmorphia/disconnection between her Cardassian appearance, but Human outlook, hence why she elected to retain the Human appearance following her trip to the sixties
He probably doesn't admit this to most people, though his actions in working so closely with the Federation are probably enough that the True Way can guess, and has targeted him. He is indeed their antithesis, and everything they would despise. Whether that's a good thing in him or a flaw, that his feelings are so strong in the matter that he questions his people's ability to handle sovereignty...that's for you to judge, but that's how he is.
I wonder how Marcus would've felt about that, if he'd found out Admiral Berat's inner feelings on the subject, considering how he despises Cardassia(ns?).
That's true, he definitely had a jaded view of Cardassians because of what he witnessed during the occupation, but, the mission which wound him and Siri in the Cardassian gulag was essentially a mercy mission, to investigate and prevent (what he was told was) a resurrection of the Obsidian Order, so he was clearly still able to extend them assistance and trust if the situation called for it. I wouldn't go so far as to say that he hated them as a species, as he was no speciesist, but he did hate what he witnessed, and what they were capable of, so I can only say that he was cautious about them.
Alright, I just got my foot in the door after suffering an ungodly amount of delays. There's more to come, so I will alert people when the whole post is finished.
sander233: Frank Grimes, General Ssharki, and I'm also thinking Jesu and H'mL'n.
gulberat: Strannik hands down, but I would also like to see more of Admiral Berat.
marcusdkane: Amanda Palmer and Claire, though S'rR's is pretty interesting, too. But yeah, I'm definitely intrigued by Claire--part of me even wants to put an AI in at least one of my ships.
jonsills: Grunt, hands down. I just love hearing about his misadventures, though I look forward to the day when he finally gets a properly functioning ship, not a bucket of bolts held together with spit and baling wire.
patrickngo: Eighty-Six, once again because of the AI angle. Also Liz Tran, and I hope that the romance between her and Jesu continues after Road to Ruin is over. Though I am also liking some of the characters in his latest story, The Chase, namely D'Daku and Mary Moriarty, and that one Starfleet Ensign--she had guts leaving the ship like she did and jumping onto an enemy ship.
ambassadormolari: My favorite character among yours is probably Ta'nara, and I'm hopeful she and Veleen will get to interact sometime, be it in-game, here in an LC, or in another story.
No clue on any of the others--mainly focused on my favorite writers for these LCs.
EDIT: Actually, after reading the revised entry from cmdrscarlet, I'd say my favorite character from her would definitely be Katherine Beringer. And a great entry, scarlet!!
Thank you! Perhaps an LC collab is in order at some point...
Thank you! Perhaps an LC collab is in order at some point...
Indeed.
As for this LC, I'm not really coming up with any interesting ideas. Might have to see what LC 48 Offers. I do have a couple of ideas for older LCs, though--just have to get some specifics figured out and get them typed up.
Alright, I just got my foot in the door after suffering an ungodly amount of delays. There's more to come, so I will alert people when the whole post is finished.
Fantastic beginning, I'm really looking forward to seeing how things pan out :cool:
@patchouli19 - delicious. I really enjoyed Captain Scott's interaction with his crew and Admiral Devok, and especially his realization of the challenge waiting for him. More please?
@gulberat - thank you for that fascinating introduction to Gul Berat! I especially enjoyed his description of life on Mol'Rihan...
@malkaris - very nice epilogue to "Temporal Ambassador" - and a wonderfully unique take on temporal warfare. I enjoyed that very much.
@ambassadormolari - wow. You managed to make the words "there are forty-seven" all spooky and mysterious. I'm very much looking forward to seeing how this goes...
By tomorrow I should have my own contribution for this LC ready to post...
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Just finished a new entry for LC 40, this time going to LC #7 for my material.
It introduces another of my Alts, an Academy Field Instructor who always teaches fourth-year cadets, and always does so onboard her ship as it goes about its regular duties.
Please take a look, and tell me what you think. :cool:
My submission for this LC is a tie-in to The Road; basically it's the butcher's bill for the USS Tiburon.
If you haven't already read The Road to Ruin it would be a good idea to at least skim it up through the last chapter to see what's going on in my world before reading this LC entry.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
My submission for this LC is a tie-in to The Road; basically it's the butcher's bill for the USS Tiburon.
If you haven't already read The Road to Ruin it would be a good idea to at least skim it up through the last chapter to see what's going on in my world before reading this LC entry.
Just finished a new entry for LC 40, this time going to LC #7 for my material.
It introduces another of my Alts, an Academy Field Instructor who always teaches fourth-year cadets, and always does so onboard her ship as it goes about its regular duties.
Please take a look, and tell me what you think. :cool:
Nice entry :cool: Something I'd always read, was that a cadet's third year was their midshipman cruise, rather than fourth year, and the time when most cadets who are going to blow out have their meltdowns, but having that as a kind of 'extended cruise' for the cream of the crop certainly makes for a nice touch Initially, I was uncertain about the idea of a married couple running a ship, due to the potential for conflict of interests, but, given that it is a training ship, rather than a ship of the line, that would provide a consistency which would be ideal for a training environment :cool:
My submission for this LC is a tie-in to The Road; basically it's the butcher's bill for the USS Tiburon.
If you haven't already read The Road to Ruin it would be a good idea to at least skim it up through the last chapter to see what's going on in my world before reading this LC entry.
Very nicely done :cool: Is there going to be another installment of the Road, or is this coda the wrap? A few crew members caught my eye, which I'd hope to see more of in the future:
Lieutenant Enfanfar definitely sounds worth future investigation, and I hope Crewman Hemmingway is located, she sounds nice...
Equally, with regards Rusty, as mentioned, S'rR's's DNA could possibly be used to synthesise a treatment to boost Rusty's immune system to counteract the venom (being part-Human, she doesn't bleed acid like H'mL'n or I'sH'd, but has kidneys instead) if you wanted to go down that route I like the idea of Jesu on suicide watch, and Miss Zain having to undergo counselling for her crush
Nice entry :cool: Something I'd always read, was that a cadet's third year was their midshipman cruise, rather than fourth year, and the time when most cadets who are going to blow out have their meltdowns, but having that as a kind of 'extended cruise' for the cream of the crop certainly makes for a nice touch :-) Initially, I was uncertain about the idea of a married couple running a ship, due to the potential for conflict of interests, but, given that it is a training ship, rather than a ship of the line, that would provide a consistency which would be ideal for a training environment :cool:
Oh, it's more than a Training Ship. The Wolfram is part Training Ship, part Experimental Testbed for anything that comes out of R&D. And as a Multi-Mission Reconnaissance Explorer, they do just about any mission asked of them, from System Surveys to Fleet Support. And the Cadets are supposed to actively help, in addition to their training, which is part of why Nanoha has a reputation as being a 'Devil Instructor'.
As to a Married Couple (Married TRIBBLE Couple, in fact) running the ship, they have different specialties. Nanoha, while in overall command, is the Drill Sergeant Nasty, though she can be rather friendly, even while training you into the dirt. When not in combat, she prefers supervising the training, leaving Fate in charge on the Bridge.
Fate, meanwhile, is somewhat more gentle, and could be seen as the mother figure for the Cadets. She helps reign Nanoha in, keep her from going too overboard in training the recruits.
Of course, in battle, Nanoha re-takes command of the ship, and proves herself to be a student of the school of 'Overkill is Underrated', which is why her enemies also tend to call her 'devil'. :cool:
She's a Quantum Mechanical Import from the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Franchise--specifically, at or around the time of the Manga-only Fifth Season, Magical Chronicle Lyrical Nanoha Force. She has the same name, physical appearance, and personality as her counterpart in Force, but this version of Nanoha is completely native to Star Trek, with no special abilities from the MGLN Franchise.
Oh, it's more than a Training Ship. The Wolfram is part Training Ship, part Experimental Testbed for anything that comes out of R&D. And as a Multi-Mission Reconnaissance Explorer, they do just about any mission asked of them, from System Surveys to Fleet Support. And the Cadets are supposed to actively help, in addition to their training, which is part of why Nanoha has a reputation as being a 'Devil Instructor'.
As to a Married Couple (Married TRIBBLE Couple, in fact) running the ship, they have different specialties. Nanoha, while in overall command, is the Drill Sergeant Nasty, though she can be rather friendly, even while training you into the dirt. When not in combat, she prefers supervising the training, leaving Fate in charge on the Bridge.
Fate, meanwhile, is somewhat more gentle, and could be seen as the mother figure for the Cadets. She helps reign Nanoha in, keep her from going too overboard in training the recruits.
Of course, in battle, Nanoha re-takes command of the ship, and proves herself to be a student of the school of 'Overkill is Underrated', which is why her enemies also tend to call her 'devil'.
She's a Quantum Mechanical Import from the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Franchise--specifically, at or around the time of the Manga-only Fifth Season, Magical Chronicle Lyrical Nanoha Force. She has the same name, physical appearance, and personality as her counterpart in Force, but this version of Nanoha is completely native to Star Trek, with no special abilities from the MGLN Franchise.
Ahh, that makes a bit more sense, I'm certainly looking forward to seeing more of them in action :cool:
A novel I enjoyed years ago, was Star Rebel by FM Busby, which focussed on a cadet going through a brutal space academy nicknamed 'The Slaughterhouse' by it's attendees. Cadets on a training cruise would routinely face naked 'airlock drills', where someone would get spaced each time... For some infractions at the academy, one would have to 'run the gauntlet' of cadets on each side, who would use their belts to flog the cadet as they run between the middle. That's where I borrowed and developed the character of Channery from... Busby's Channery was an Upperclassman who would r@pe new recruits for the lols, and when one cadet had to run the gauntlet, he deliberately hit them in the face with the buckle end of his belt :eek: He eventually gets caught TRIBBLE a cadet, and gets expelled from the academy to be 'welfared'. I always wondered how he would have fit in (albeit toned down) into the Trekverse, so put my own spin to the name
So Rusty is currently in stasis, while research is done on a way to heal him... did you get that idea from my suggestion, by any chance?
The stasis field is on old sci-fi cop-out to preserve people who are on the brink of death. So I had the idea all along, but your suggestion is what made me decide to go ahead and take Rusty all the way to the brink at the end of the last chapter, with his fate being the final piece of suspense.
And of course, Drake is doing what needs to be done to ensure the smoothest possible reactions. I do like the twist you put on him, to be honest.
Thanks. I think it's too easy to cast him as a simple villain. I see him playing more of the role of "The Operative" in Serenity: "I believe in something greater than myself: a better world... I'm not going to live there. There's no place for me there... I'm a monster. What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done."
And I knew Zain had a crush on Jesu from Chapter one of Road to Ruin, but seeing how far it's progressed is interesting.
I think it's always been there, we're all just becoming more aware of it now.
Very nicely done.Is there going to be another installment of the Road, or is this coda the wrap?
This is more of an aside than a part of the overall narrative. There is definitely still an epilogue to come, and I think now one more chapter, to resolve the Rusty and Eighty-Six arcs. (patrickngo sent me a very interesting bit of the story that happened to match an idea that had been knocking around my head for a while.) Between these two characters I have too much material left over to package into a tidy epilogue.
So... yeah, look for Part X in a week or so, and the epilogue a week after that.
A few crew members caught my eye, which I'd hope to see more of in the future:
Lieutenant Enfanfar definitely sounds worth future investigation, and I hope Crewman Hemmingway is located, she sounds nice...
Omid Enfanfar made an appearance in LC #41 as the Tib's third "ops guy" (after Fozz and Barrister, who were both off the ship) and since I didn't have anything for him to be doing this time around, I decided to spice him up a little for later. You never know when an LC will call for a Simon Tarses sort of character.
[edit] By the way, what did you think of H'mL'n's blurb? [/edit]
Equally, with regards Rusty, as mentioned, S'rR's's DNA could possibly be used to synthesise a treatment to boost Rusty's immune system to counteract the venom (being part-Human, she doesn't bleed acid like H'mL'n or I'sH'd, but has kidneys instead) if you wanted to go down that route
That actually raises a fairly sticky point I'd like to talk to you about. Check your PMs in a few minutes...
I like the idea of Jesu on suicide watch, and Miss Zain having to undergo counselling for her crush
Even more reason to write a Part X...
@patrickngo - don't worry, it'll be totally internal to my end of the metastory. All of your "hooks" for The Chase and whatever else you have planned should be all set with the last chapter.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Of course, in battle, Nanoha re-takes command of the ship, and proves herself to be a student of the school of 'Overkill is Underrated', which is why her enemies also tend to call her 'devil'. :cool:
"Maxim 37: There is no 'overkill'. There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload'."
Just finished a new entry for LC 40, this time going to LC #7 for my material.
It introduces another of my Alts, an Academy Field Instructor who always teaches fourth-year cadets, and always does so onboard her ship as it goes about its regular duties.
Please take a look, and tell me what you think. :cool:
Me likey.
I've been thinking about how Rusty would've gotten in on in the twenty-or-so years between Jesu leaving for the Academy and the two of them getting assigned to the same ship. If it's alright with you, I think I'll whip up a short story putting Rusty on the Wolfram at the end of his time at the Academy. Assuming of course that the Wolfram would have been active in 2390.
I won't even start on this until after The Road ends, and I have a lot of other projects I want to get done, but I'd like to keep this in my back pocket as a concept to revisit in a later LC.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Comments
I might. Though I also might do a different kind of AI for a different ship, and give it a different acronym.
There are a few AIs with names I like--Cortana, ADA, Pharsti... just need to think of an appropriate one.
"No one User wrote me. I'm worth millions of their man-years!"
Should be interesting when a few of these AI ships meet up.
Looking forward to seeing what you come up with :cool:
As a point of note, S'rR's's nickname was of course, inspired by the iPhone AI, based on the pronunciation of her name being 'Cirrus' :cool:
Thanks for the feedback. I updated my entry to make it clearer.
You beat yourself up too much. All of us have written things we aren't necessarily proud of. But how do you get better at writing? By reading a lot, writing a lot, and accepting constructive criticism.
I've started a new procedure for my writing - finish writing, wait a day or two, then edit and post. This has helped me catch some issues beforehand, though mistakes still slip through. I also started reading books on writing. You might find some of these to be helpful.
One other thought - one time I posted an LC entry and made a snide remark in the discussion thread about how I thought it wasn't my best work. It was obvious that most people read my remark and decided to skip that entry. I learned a lesson - let the readers decide for themselves.
Ha, I'l have to go back and fix that. I have a bad habit of doing these overnight, so i tend to be a little loopy sometimes by the finish.
Some people really seem to have a gift when it comes to putting others at ease around them. Berat is definitely one of those people. I also think that Berat has a record that speaks for itself, when it comes to how he treats those who are unlike him. Having a chief engineer who looks like a full Borg drone but with fully human emotions and the attendant social anxiety problems that come with that shows his tolerance and ability to look past appearances.
So I think that Alyosha suspects that if Berat did find out, or does already know, that this is someone who will not hold it against him.
A conflicted mess of emotions, for sure.
On one hand, he would feel sad for her; I'm not sure he believes in "international adoption." He doesn't want Cardassia to be somewhere so terrible that people take children away as some sort of mercy.
Yet he would also feel ashamed. He's very aware of Cardassian sins, and may feel like perhaps she did this because the sin of his people was too great for her to bear.
His feelings towards Cardassia are incredibly complex. He loves his people--Cardassian individuals, certain cultural items, but due to past events...I'm actually not sure he trusts Cardassia to full self-rule. His trust in Cardassia's ability to govern itself and wield power without abuse has been burned.
He probably doesn't admit this to most people, though his actions in working so closely with the Federation are probably enough that the True Way can guess, and has targeted him. He is indeed their antithesis, and everything they would despise. Whether that's a good thing in him or a flaw, that his feelings are so strong in the matter that he questions his people's ability to handle sovereignty...that's for you to judge, but that's how he is.
I wonder how Marcus would've felt about that, if he'd found out Admiral Berat's inner feelings on the subject, considering how he despises Cardassia(ns?).
Thanks.
Playing a Cardassian toon on New Romulus gave me a very different experience compared to the unpleasant grind a lot of people have described. I could actually see him taking an interest in what happened to the Mol'Rihannsu and getting to know them. And being appalled by the stuff that appears as dialogue choices in the "motivate workers" thing in the Staging Area, and deciding he should say something very different instead.
Patrick--I haven't followed your stories that closely, I'm afraid, so I'm not familiar with Drake Tran. But I'm glad you liked Admiral Berat!
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
@mattias078: More dolphins and more story.
@sharpie65: Doesn't sound finished, didn't this have more?
@grylak: Short, cute and sweet. I wonder if she shipped the extras off to that tribble reservation from that misssion.
@masopw: Interesting continuing story. Thought the thought of a vulcan talking like that kinda breaks my mind.
@patrickngo: That vulcan has a sick sick mind. Love the story.
@marcusdkane: Very good action sequence, but maybe needs a bit more story. Not sure.
@knightraider6: Wait a minute, this is the IKS Fluttershy again, isn't it. And Mcfly'd? Nice story, I loved it. Honestly I think that Cryptic should hire a few of your guys, you've got a better reason for the current state of the galaxy than they do it seems.
@rextorvan36: Not bad. It still have a bit of a this stuff happened feel, which might not be bad, but you also left some stuff hanging, like what the message was, and what was going on with Veril. But not bad.
@shevet: Yet again, very nice, love the interogation scene. The way you had Kluthli acting reminded me of Sylvie from Bubblegum Crisis so now she is stuck looking like that in my head, but with green skin. Not a bad thing though. And I love your descriptions.
@aten66: Funny one. I'll echo the Skippy comments.
@wraithshadow13: Ah Q. Never gets old. Nice story, good blend of action and dialogue, very classic TNG feel.
@superhombre777: Funny and sad, in equal part. a good mix for this story I think.
@danqueller: Very Romulan and a very good story. I hope they make it somehow.
@azniadeet: Good story, Trek feel, but maybe a bit too much of the galactic reset button with the new species. Or that could be me.
@jonsills: Hey Grunt didn't lose a ship. And very disturbing images, really made the Elachi a threat. Nice story.
@cmdrscarlet: I think this version ran a bit better than that last. Also, you ever watch space battleship Yamato or Argo in the US? Just curious because of your asteroid defence.
@patchouli19: Interesting continuation. And a nice pause before the storm piece.
@gulberat: Insightful piece, and well written. A bit slower than what I like to read, but very good.
Nouveau riche LTS member
It was definitely a welcome change to see than Alyosha's continual defensiveness, I hope we will see more of Berat in the future
I wouldn't say that she feels the sins of the Cardassian people in the way Alyosha does with the Devidians, but was simply raised entirely surrounded by Human culture, and treated no differently than a Human child, so she had always experienced a body dysmorphia/disconnection between her Cardassian appearance, but Human outlook, hence why she elected to retain the Human appearance following her trip to the sixties
That's true, he definitely had a jaded view of Cardassians because of what he witnessed during the occupation, but, the mission which wound him and Siri in the Cardassian gulag was essentially a mercy mission, to investigate and prevent (what he was told was) a resurrection of the Obsidian Order, so he was clearly still able to extend them assistance and trust if the situation called for it. I wouldn't go so far as to say that he hated them as a species, as he was no speciesist, but he did hate what he witnessed, and what they were capable of, so I can only say that he was cautious about them.
Indeed.
As for this LC, I'm not really coming up with any interesting ideas. Might have to see what LC 48 Offers. I do have a couple of ideas for older LCs, though--just have to get some specifics figured out and get them typed up.
Thanks, but yes, I know what you mean
Fantastic beginning, I'm really looking forward to seeing how things pan out :cool:
@cmdrscarlet - neat trick there. I like Karl.
@patchouli19 - delicious. I really enjoyed Captain Scott's interaction with his crew and Admiral Devok, and especially his realization of the challenge waiting for him. More please?
@gulberat - thank you for that fascinating introduction to Gul Berat! I especially enjoyed his description of life on Mol'Rihan...
@malkaris - very nice epilogue to "Temporal Ambassador" - and a wonderfully unique take on temporal warfare. I enjoyed that very much.
@ambassadormolari - wow. You managed to make the words "there are forty-seven" all spooky and mysterious. I'm very much looking forward to seeing how this goes...
By tomorrow I should have my own contribution for this LC ready to post...
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
It introduces another of my Alts, an Academy Field Instructor who always teaches fourth-year cadets, and always does so onboard her ship as it goes about its regular duties.
Please take a look, and tell me what you think. :cool:
If you haven't already read The Road to Ruin it would be a good idea to at least skim it up through the last chapter to see what's going on in my world before reading this LC entry.
Anyway, please enjoy: Where all Roads Meet
Report prepared by LCdr. Dr. Maria Espinoza (Adriana Barraza)
Amended by Franklin Drake (Casper Van Dien)
Amendment witnessed by Rudyard. :cool:
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Very interesting.
So Rusty is currently in stasis, while research is done on a way to heal him... did you get that idea from my suggestion, by any chance?
And of course, Drake is doing what needs to be done to ensure the smoothest possible reactions. I do like the twist you put on him, to be honest.
And I knew Zain had a crush on Jesu from Chapter one of Road to Ruin, but seeing how far it's progressed is interesting.
I look forward to seeing the Epilogue for Road to Ruin. :cool:
Nice entry :cool: Something I'd always read, was that a cadet's third year was their midshipman cruise, rather than fourth year, and the time when most cadets who are going to blow out have their meltdowns, but having that as a kind of 'extended cruise' for the cream of the crop certainly makes for a nice touch
Lieutenant Enfanfar definitely sounds worth future investigation, and I hope Crewman Hemmingway is located, she sounds nice...
Equally, with regards Rusty, as mentioned, S'rR's's DNA could possibly be used to synthesise a treatment to boost Rusty's immune system to counteract the venom (being part-Human, she doesn't bleed acid like H'mL'n or I'sH'd, but has kidneys instead) if you wanted to go down that route
Oh, it's more than a Training Ship. The Wolfram is part Training Ship, part Experimental Testbed for anything that comes out of R&D. And as a Multi-Mission Reconnaissance Explorer, they do just about any mission asked of them, from System Surveys to Fleet Support. And the Cadets are supposed to actively help, in addition to their training, which is part of why Nanoha has a reputation as being a 'Devil Instructor'.
As to a Married Couple (Married TRIBBLE Couple, in fact) running the ship, they have different specialties. Nanoha, while in overall command, is the Drill Sergeant Nasty, though she can be rather friendly, even while training you into the dirt. When not in combat, she prefers supervising the training, leaving Fate in charge on the Bridge.
Fate, meanwhile, is somewhat more gentle, and could be seen as the mother figure for the Cadets. She helps reign Nanoha in, keep her from going too overboard in training the recruits.
Of course, in battle, Nanoha re-takes command of the ship, and proves herself to be a student of the school of 'Overkill is Underrated', which is why her enemies also tend to call her 'devil'. :cool:
She's a Quantum Mechanical Import from the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Franchise--specifically, at or around the time of the Manga-only Fifth Season, Magical Chronicle Lyrical Nanoha Force. She has the same name, physical appearance, and personality as her counterpart in Force, but this version of Nanoha is completely native to Star Trek, with no special abilities from the MGLN Franchise.
Ahh, that makes a bit more sense, I'm certainly looking forward to seeing more of them in action :cool:
A novel I enjoyed years ago, was Star Rebel by FM Busby, which focussed on a cadet going through a brutal space academy nicknamed 'The Slaughterhouse' by it's attendees. Cadets on a training cruise would routinely face naked 'airlock drills', where someone would get spaced each time... For some infractions at the academy, one would have to 'run the gauntlet' of cadets on each side, who would use their belts to flog the cadet as they run between the middle. That's where I borrowed and developed the character of Channery from... Busby's Channery was an Upperclassman who would r@pe new recruits for the lols, and when one cadet had to run the gauntlet, he deliberately hit them in the face with the buckle end of his belt :eek: He eventually gets caught TRIBBLE a cadet, and gets expelled from the academy to be 'welfared'. I always wondered how he would have fit in (albeit toned down) into the Trekverse, so put my own spin to the name
Thanks. I think it's too easy to cast him as a simple villain. I see him playing more of the role of "The Operative" in Serenity: "I believe in something greater than myself: a better world... I'm not going to live there. There's no place for me there... I'm a monster. What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done."
I think it's always been there, we're all just becoming more aware of it now.
Thank you! :tiphat:
This is more of an aside than a part of the overall narrative. There is definitely still an epilogue to come, and I think now one more chapter, to resolve the Rusty and Eighty-Six arcs. (patrickngo sent me a very interesting bit of the story that happened to match an idea that had been knocking around my head for a while.) Between these two characters I have too much material left over to package into a tidy epilogue.
So... yeah, look for Part X in a week or so, and the epilogue a week after that.
Omid Enfanfar made an appearance in LC #41 as the Tib's third "ops guy" (after Fozz and Barrister, who were both off the ship) and since I didn't have anything for him to be doing this time around, I decided to spice him up a little for later. You never know when an LC will call for a Simon Tarses sort of character.
[edit] By the way, what did you think of H'mL'n's blurb? [/edit]
That actually raises a fairly sticky point I'd like to talk to you about. Check your PMs in a few minutes...
Even more reason to write a Part X...
@patrickngo - don't worry, it'll be totally internal to my end of the metastory. All of your "hooks" for The Chase and whatever else you have planned should be all set with the last chapter.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
- from The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
(Shelana's a big proponent of Maxim 37, as well.
From TV Tropes: There Is No Kill Like Overkill.
Me likey.
I've been thinking about how Rusty would've gotten in on in the twenty-or-so years between Jesu leaving for the Academy and the two of them getting assigned to the same ship. If it's alright with you, I think I'll whip up a short story putting Rusty on the Wolfram at the end of his time at the Academy. Assuming of course that the Wolfram would have been active in 2390.
I won't even start on this until after The Road ends, and I have a lot of other projects I want to get done, but I'd like to keep this in my back pocket as a concept to revisit in a later LC.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
So rarely necessary...
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon