what does a beholder with arms say to his girlfriend? eye beholding you baby.......
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kanotakiMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 8Arc User
edited May 2013
Why didn't the Skeleton cross the road? Cuz he didn't have any guts.
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jmravesMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 5Arc User
edited May 2013
One day, an orc goes to tower of alteration in protectors enclave to have his haircut changed while wearing a pair of headphones. The barber ask him to take them off, but he protest that he'll die w/o them.
The barber sighs then starts cutting his hair around the headphones. Soon, the orc falls asleep then the barber takes off the headphones. Soon, the orc is turning blue in color and collapses on the floor. Panicked, the barber puts the headphones unto his ear and hears, "breathe in. Breathe out."
Hahahahaha
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bullzeye701Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 11Arc User
edited May 2013
Lloth and her 3 daughter hatched a plot to take over the realms.
Lloth sends for her best scouts and says, "I want you to scour the realms for the ugliest being you can find. We'll turn him loose on the world and we can take over while everyone is in chaos."
After several weeks they returned with a hooded figure. "This is the ugliest being there is," they told their queen.
Lloth's youngest daughter says, "I'm sure it's not good enough. Let me see."
The guards, after averting their eyes, removes the hood. Lloth's daughter runs away screaming, "My eyes. My eyes. It's hideous."
The second daughter says, "She never had the guts to rule anyway. I'm positive it's NOT that bad. Let me see."
Again the guards averted their eyes and removed the creatures hood.
The second daughter also runs away, screaming, "My eyes. My eyes. It's hideous."
The oldest and fiercest of Lloth's daughters swaggers up to the guards, "They were never brave enough to rule. Let me see."
Shaking their heads, the guards avert their eyes and again removes the creature's hood.
The third daughter runs away as well, screaming, "My eyes. It's hideous."
Lloth cackles in glee. "This is perfect. If my daughters can't bare to look on this creature, then it must indeed be terrible. Let me see."
The guards again avert their eyes, and remove the hood.
"This been great fun, but me go home now!" says the Gully Dwarf.
A guardian fighter is in a tavern picking on a rouge, making him the butt of all his jokes.
A cleric comes over to console him and the guardian fighter knocks him clear across the room.
The moral of the story: NEVER go near a guardian fighter's Butt.
how about focus on fixing the game breaking issues like chat silence,cleric aggro,guardian fighters,pvp ,que system,broken spells/feats etc.
Perhaps have your 'community' representatives spend more time on forums gathering feedback rather than running these silly contests.
Why not make a feedback contest?
A half-orc was reading the morning tribune and read that more adults are living at home with their parents, that surprised the half-orc, who shouted, "Mom! Did you read this?" The half-orc was so surprised he dribbled some slop onto his bib.
Joking, the half-orcs mom read that to him.
(At the risk of ruining the joke: He shouted "Mom!" because he's living with his parents...and she read it to him because she's the human, smarter, and he's umm a half-orc, not known for their intelligence and wisdom)
Idris the Revenant walks into a bar. The bartender looks down at the froth flowing over the edge of his beer glass and says, Dang it! I messed up my pull!"
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sirgryphon1Member, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 1Arc User
edited May 2013
An elf, a human and a dwarf walk into a pub. Each orders a drink and a fly lands on each drink right after the barmaid sets them down. The elf turns in disgust, "Barmaid, take this away and bring me another wine." The human picks the fly off his ale, shrugs, and drinks it down. The dwarf snatches the fly from the rim of his mead and yells, "SPIT IT OUT YOU BEASTIE! SPIT IT OUT!!"
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eqdave07Member, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 5Arc User
edited May 2013
What does a Orc eat at the pasta house? A Halflinguine
twohelMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 0Arc User
edited May 2013
Jesus saves....
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Everyone else takes full damage
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lithorneMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 2Arc User
edited May 2013
Two dwarves named Ragnar and Krom, dear friends and adventuring comrades of many years, joined in battle one day against a mighty red dragon. At the end of the great struggle, Ragnar lay mortally injured.
"Krom," he groaned, "before I die, listen close. Make sure me share of th' treasure is sent home to me clan, bury me in the crypt o' me fathers with th' beast's skull, and pour a bottle o' th' finest Firebelly Whiskey o'er me grave."
"Aye, I'll see it done, me brother, you can be sure o' that," Krom replied. "So long as ye don't mind th' whiskey passin' through me on th' way!"
Joke #1
So a rogue is driving a wagon through Waterdeep's crowded streets. A Guardsman on horseback sees him endangering the lives of the commoners and begins chasing after him. The rogue whips the horses into a frenzy, travelling faster and faster. The guardsman pursues, and being on horseback, is gaining on the rogue. Realizing he's going to get caught, the rogue tugs on the reins, stops the horses and awaits the guardsman's approach. The guardsman, feeling in a magnanimous mood, says to the rogue, "If you can give me one good reason you were racing through the streets like that, I'll let you go instead of calling the magisters." The rogue pauses only a beat before saying, "Well see it's like this, my wife ran off with a Guard the other day. From a distance I thought you was him trying to bring her back!"
Joke #2
A paladin is riding through his lands and observes a woman selling apples at an exorbitant price. Even more strange, he sees men lining up to purchase her apples. Being duty bound to stop such a dastardly deed, he rides up to the woman and gets off his horse. He says to the woman, "Maam, you cannot charge these men so much for mere apples. Tis not right!" The woman replies, "But noble sire, I need the money desperately!" The paladin is puzzled and asks, "What could you need so much gold for?" The woman answers, "I am of common birth, and in need of a husband, and I just know, if I can get enough gold, I can get a ticket to the Paladins ball and find a nice man." The paladin replies quickly, "But madam, paladins don't have balls." The men around the couple snicker, the woman smiles and the paladin, red faced, gets back on his horse and rides away...
A Cleric, a Paladin, Wizard and Rogue walk into a bar. The bar keep says" what will you have?" The Cleric repies with a laugh "Ale for me" The Paladin follows suit " Ale for me", The wizard to not be out done, " make that 2 ales for me". The Rogues looks at the three and back to the keep, "I will have what they are having. The Cleric and Paladin are too devote to drink, and we all know we don't want the Wizard to remember his fire ball spell while drinking in your inn.
There once were some Neverwinter players
Who were exploiters, haters, naysayers
I was down for a day
Lost 2 levels of play
Till Perfect World dealt with the auction fake payers
Comments
The barber sighs then starts cutting his hair around the headphones. Soon, the orc falls asleep then the barber takes off the headphones. Soon, the orc is turning blue in color and collapses on the floor. Panicked, the barber puts the headphones unto his ear and hears, "breathe in. Breathe out."
Hahahahaha
Lloth sends for her best scouts and says, "I want you to scour the realms for the ugliest being you can find. We'll turn him loose on the world and we can take over while everyone is in chaos."
After several weeks they returned with a hooded figure. "This is the ugliest being there is," they told their queen.
Lloth's youngest daughter says, "I'm sure it's not good enough. Let me see."
The guards, after averting their eyes, removes the hood. Lloth's daughter runs away screaming, "My eyes. My eyes. It's hideous."
The second daughter says, "She never had the guts to rule anyway. I'm positive it's NOT that bad. Let me see."
Again the guards averted their eyes and removed the creatures hood.
The second daughter also runs away, screaming, "My eyes. My eyes. It's hideous."
The oldest and fiercest of Lloth's daughters swaggers up to the guards, "They were never brave enough to rule. Let me see."
Shaking their heads, the guards avert their eyes and again removes the creature's hood.
The third daughter runs away as well, screaming, "My eyes. It's hideous."
Lloth cackles in glee. "This is perfect. If my daughters can't bare to look on this creature, then it must indeed be terrible. Let me see."
The guards again avert their eyes, and remove the hood.
"This been great fun, but me go home now!" says the Gully Dwarf.
To switch characters!
They all have green thumps.
A cleric comes over to console him and the guardian fighter knocks him clear across the room.
The moral of the story: NEVER go near a guardian fighter's Butt.
Q: Why did the Nightmare have to gargle?
A: Because it was a little horse..
Q: Why did the Drow stand behind the horse?
A: He was hoping to get a kick out of it.
Q: What did the Nightmare say when it fell?
A: I've fallen and I can't giddyup!
Q: What's the best thing to do if an dragon sneezes?
A: Get out of its way!
Perhaps have your 'community' representatives spend more time on forums gathering feedback rather than running these silly contests.
Why not make a feedback contest?
Joking, the half-orcs mom read that to him.
(At the risk of ruining the joke: He shouted "Mom!" because he's living with his parents...and she read it to him because she's the human, smarter, and he's umm a half-orc, not known for their intelligence and wisdom)
Hahaha! I just watched that episode of Community, literally not more than 40 min ago. Chang was awesome in that...
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Everyone else takes full damage
"Krom," he groaned, "before I die, listen close. Make sure me share of th' treasure is sent home to me clan, bury me in the crypt o' me fathers with th' beast's skull, and pour a bottle o' th' finest Firebelly Whiskey o'er me grave."
"Aye, I'll see it done, me brother, you can be sure o' that," Krom replied. "So long as ye don't mind th' whiskey passin' through me on th' way!"
Just one, but when he comes, brings with him 40 Orcs, 25 Werewolves, one Boss and 3 Jehovah's Witnesses.
So a rogue is driving a wagon through Waterdeep's crowded streets. A Guardsman on horseback sees him endangering the lives of the commoners and begins chasing after him. The rogue whips the horses into a frenzy, travelling faster and faster. The guardsman pursues, and being on horseback, is gaining on the rogue. Realizing he's going to get caught, the rogue tugs on the reins, stops the horses and awaits the guardsman's approach. The guardsman, feeling in a magnanimous mood, says to the rogue, "If you can give me one good reason you were racing through the streets like that, I'll let you go instead of calling the magisters." The rogue pauses only a beat before saying, "Well see it's like this, my wife ran off with a Guard the other day. From a distance I thought you was him trying to bring her back!"
Joke #2
A paladin is riding through his lands and observes a woman selling apples at an exorbitant price. Even more strange, he sees men lining up to purchase her apples. Being duty bound to stop such a dastardly deed, he rides up to the woman and gets off his horse. He says to the woman, "Maam, you cannot charge these men so much for mere apples. Tis not right!" The woman replies, "But noble sire, I need the money desperately!" The paladin is puzzled and asks, "What could you need so much gold for?" The woman answers, "I am of common birth, and in need of a husband, and I just know, if I can get enough gold, I can get a ticket to the Paladins ball and find a nice man." The paladin replies quickly, "But madam, paladins don't have balls." The men around the couple snicker, the woman smiles and the paladin, red faced, gets back on his horse and rides away...
Who were exploiters, haters, naysayers
I was down for a day
Lost 2 levels of play
Till Perfect World dealt with the auction fake payers
Anywhere, as long as your inventory is full.
He was red ground color blind.