A drawven fighter, human cleric, halfling rogue, and elven wizard are sitting at bar and talking about all there adventure's they had and the many, many beast of evil they all have slayed. The drawf stands up and holds out his mug of ale and says.
"Here's to me and here to you, friends we may always be, but at first we don't agree then heck with you and here's to me"
"Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."
Two adventurers A half-orc and an elf are on a quest to kill some undead in the local cemetery they enter the cemetery were a creepy ominous fog has obscured everything, so they climb to the top of a hill in the center of the place, and down the other side of the hill is a whole army of undead.
The elf says, by the gods that's terrifying! The half-orc says, you think that's terrifying? When I kill all of them I'm going to have to walk back to town through that fog alone.
A Halfling walks into the tavern and approaches the tender and says "One pint m'boy for the numb'n, my teef are killing me, must've eaten some rocks in m'sleep, I just cant get over this pain." The Tender then replies with a large grin on his face "I guess that makes you a Teifling!"
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versonicMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 0Arc User
There was a young elf from Myth Drannor
Who had a most arrogant manner
But when he gave a rude sneer
To a dwarf engineer
He was hit in the head with a spanner
Erulo the half-orc said: '' I am friends with 25 letters of the alphabet! I just don't know why... ''.
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penultimatepainMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 2Arc User
edited May 2013
Why did the rogue cross the road?
To attack from the other side.
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psomaster437Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 4Arc User
edited May 2013
Why did the cleric cross the road? To get away from the agro.
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crazyddawgMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 1Arc User
edited May 2013
Neverwinter..... Neverwinter...... when is it going to be Summerever???
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aft3rmath3raserMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 5Arc User
edited May 2013
A minotaur, three priestesses of Sune, a drow slave, a halfling in a chicken suit, and a dozen ducks walk into a bar. The bartender looks up at them and asks "What is this, a joke?"
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rawsome83Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, SilverstarsPosts: 27Arc User
edited May 2013
Why do dwarves have big nostrils? ...Because they've got big fingers.
Mayor of herp derp town.
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asakochanMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 3Arc User
edited May 2013
And in our group there was a Dragons geek
His skin was white, and his body was weak
But what he lacked in strength and body mass
He made up for in knowledge of Wee Jas.
He warned the others about her powers
His truthful teaching went on for hours.
After he was done, the Pardoner said,
“You and I are brothers, my good friend!”
“Dear sir, are you accusing me of lies?
I swear to Vecna my words have no ties
They are free and true, Nerull strike me down.
You say we are brothers? To that I frown.”
There is no loyal a man than the geek.
Just ask the elves, orcs, or dwarves: they’ll shriek
And talk of his goodness and vast wisdom
Surpassing that of a silver dragon.
Even Erythnul will show him pardon
For his path has been chosen by Fharlanghn.
He is destined to help those most in need,
To spread the word and sew the seed
Of Gods and Goddesses seated most high,
Which can be hard, since he hardly sees sky.
The adventurers thought they came prepared, but were unaware,
the goblins had a high AC, upon which they couldn't see;
the shivers echoed as they krept along in chainlinked vests,
the adventurers swore they packed their winters best, along with flint for fires rest,
the shivers grew, they froze with fright, the AC in this goblins lair was blasting forth with cold air through the night.
Comments
"Here's to me and here to you, friends we may always be, but at first we don't agree then heck with you and here's to me"
~Napoleon Bonaparte
The Halfling ask Khelgar if he likes to hear a joke?
Khelgar: Halfling: Khelgar: Halfling:
So Khelgar started another tavern brawl... hoping that this halfling is the one who stole the Gauntlet.
p.s. sorry for bad english just want to share...
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59,60,61,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69,70,71,72,73,74,75,76,77,78,79,80,81,82,83,84,85,86,87,88,89,90,92,92,93,94,95,96,97,98,99,100!
The elf says, by the gods that's terrifying! The half-orc says, you think that's terrifying? When I kill all of them I'm going to have to walk back to town through that fog alone.
The movie.
Who had a most arrogant manner
But when he gave a rude sneer
To a dwarf engineer
He was hit in the head with a spanner
To attack from the other side.
His skin was white, and his body was weak
But what he lacked in strength and body mass
He made up for in knowledge of Wee Jas.
He warned the others about her powers
His truthful teaching went on for hours.
After he was done, the Pardoner said,
“You and I are brothers, my good friend!”
“Dear sir, are you accusing me of lies?
I swear to Vecna my words have no ties
They are free and true, Nerull strike me down.
You say we are brothers? To that I frown.”
There is no loyal a man than the geek.
Just ask the elves, orcs, or dwarves: they’ll shriek
And talk of his goodness and vast wisdom
Surpassing that of a silver dragon.
Even Erythnul will show him pardon
For his path has been chosen by Fharlanghn.
He is destined to help those most in need,
To spread the word and sew the seed
Of Gods and Goddesses seated most high,
Which can be hard, since he hardly sees sky.
the goblins had a high AC, upon which they couldn't see;
the shivers echoed as they krept along in chainlinked vests,
the adventurers swore they packed their winters best, along with flint for fires rest,
the shivers grew, they froze with fright, the AC in this goblins lair was blasting forth with cold air through the night.
Because it's his duty as a man of the faith.
Answer: its Neverwinter.
Because it just goes over their heads.
Hilarious!
A: Pregnant.
Hobbituaries.
"Tell me of your battles," said the king.
"Well, sire, I have been robbing and stealing on your behalf for weeks, burning all of the villages of your enemies in the north."
The king was horrified. "But I have no enemies in the north," he said.
"Well," said the knight, "you do now."