Summary: This is a great mission with good map designs, tough battles, and excellent story dialogue. The battles were very tough and I would not recommend the mission on Elite but the battles can be won eventually on Normal level. Your story dialogue is well written but on the last two maps it felt as if you were rushing to finish the story. As I mention below on those two maps I felt you could have fleshed out the story a little more. If the Captain of the Odin was truly the player's friend then their dialogue should have reflected more of that. The player should have been more reflective of the betrayal of their academy friend. Consider adding a little more to the story, even if this is a single mission with no sequel planned you should make the player want more. Despite that I would still highly recommend this mission to other players. I really enjoyed it.
I mention the use of the response button "Continue" on pretty much every map. This is something I recommend the author uses to help tell the story and include the player as more of a participant rather than just a reader. You want to get the player drawn into the story, to care what happens next. This is particularly true when it comes to the "Captain" responding to a BOFF report or dialog from an NPC. An exception to this would be when reading log entry or something along those lines, but even in those circumstances I recommend the use of "..." as an alternative. Yes I know Cryptic missions use the response button "Continue" a lot. In my opinion it seems unlikely that a Captain would simply say "Continue". This, like everything else in my reviews is my personal opinion.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow-on dialogue are well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Consider adding the start location of the first custom map to the initial task. This will help the player find where to start the mission. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the entry button from "Continue" to read "Let's go" or something along those lines.
MAPS: The Signal's Origin: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue". I will cover this in more detail in my summary.
-The smoke in the shuttle bay seemed out of place. I believe the object you used for the debris has a smoke effect built in. If you added additional smoke consider removing it. If the smoke was from the debris then consider changing the debris to some other object. The smoke seems like it would be unlikely to be there in a Starfleet shuttle bay.
Opin System - Beta Quadrant: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
USS Crake - Bridge: This is a good map design with a fun battle and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-The "Investigate the Attack" console button says "Interact" which is the default Foundry entry. Consider changing it to "Access console" or something along those lines.
-The "Perform Sweep of the USS Crake" button seems unnecessary to the story, especially since it provides the player with no real information and both options remain available regardless of what the player does. Consider removing that interaction or making setting it to disappear after the player accesses it. This can be done by making it an objective or triggered dialogue that can be set to disappear once interacted with or once another objective is accomplished.
Main Engineering: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-The force field separating the ensign from the player does not go all the way up. Consider adding a wall section above the force field or making the force field go all the way to the ceiling.
Bridge: This is a good map design with a tough battle and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
Opin System: This is a good map design with very tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
System STS-42: This is a good map design with very tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
USS Odin - Bridge: This is a good map design with very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written but felt as if it was a little rushed at the end. There is an opportunity to provide a little more intrigue and keep the player interested in a potential sequel to this mission. Consider adding a little more story and some background on the new dissident movement that appears to be growing. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
System STS-42 Departure: This map design is okay but like the other one it felt a little rushed. If the player had actually known the Captain of the Odin then they should hold more dialogue regarding the apparent betrayal of the former friend. Add more to the story to make the player feel more like they actually knew the NPC. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission and I truly enjoyed it. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Your mission Desperate Prey is currently 3rd in the queue. I am getting ready to start the first mission in the queue and should be done with it this morning. I will get to yours as soon as I can. If not today most likely next weekend since it is a long weekend.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Absolutely appreciate it. Don't worry, I knew it would be a long wait. I had just lost track of where you were at. Thanks again, people like you help authors like me get better!
Don't let them promote you. Don't let them transfer you. Don't let them do anything that takes you off the bridge of that ship, because while you're there... you can make a difference.
-Captain James T. Kirk
To all authors waiting patiently and others considering adding their missions to the queue:
If you are expecting a quick turnaround of an in depth mission review then you will be sadly disappointed. Please bear in mind I do not get paid, nor do I expect to get paid, for the reviews I do here. As I have stated above in other posts, my real world job and responsibilities take precedence over time I can spend on STO. My job has become that much more complex as I have been placed in charge of a program that keeps me occupied throughout the regular work week. The same level of attention you know I pay to your missions when I review them is the same level of dedication I show to my work and pretty much everything in my life. I will get to your missions as soon as I can but it will be a while for most of you.
If after reading this you wish to remove your mission from the queue I understand and please let me know. Otherwise I will get to your mission as soon as I can.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Thanks Evil,
I'm in no hurry, I just appreciate you taking the time to help me improve my mission.
Welcome back to the queue. Your mission is currently 18th in the queue behind markhawkman. I am sorry for the long wait for mission reviews but my real world responsibilities take precedence over playing STO. As I mentioned above it is the way I can afford to spend time playing STO and doing the other fun things I like to do.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
That's fine man. There's no rush. Especially since all our missions are messed up from the LoR release still lol xD
Hey evil was wondering if we could get a list of your current que to see who getting reviewed if and when the Foundry is restored and are you doing missions that have been restored even if they are out of order?
Hey evil was wondering if we could get a list of your current que to see who getting reviewed if and when the Foundry is restored and are you doing missions that have been restored even if they are out of order?
Hey antman,
Sorry for the late reply. I just finished a 131 hour pay period at work and it does not appear to be slowing down anytime soon. I currently have 17 missions in the queue. I really have no idea when I am going to be able to get to them but I want to as soon as I can. Your mission is currently 11th in the queue.
With the Foundry down I did not want to review missions that I cannot rate. Once it?s back up and running I hope to get back into my reviews.
Hey Evil, just wanted to give you a head's up about pulling my mission offline until I get time to fix it. So you can go ahead and take me out of the que until I can fix everything. Thanks xD
Hey Evil, just wanted to give you a head's up about pulling my mission offline until I get time to fix it. So you can go ahead and take me out of the que until I can fix everything. Thanks xD
No problem. Thanks for the heads up. Your mission is currently 17th in the queue so I will leave it in there as I am sure you'll be able to fix it before I get to it.
I was going to start the mission queue again today and I noted your mission was not available so I went on to complete djf021's mission. Your mission will still be in the first position until you restore it.
Summary: This is a great mission but I was not able to rate it or leave you feedback and a tip. I would definitely rate this mission with five stars. This was a fun mission with several tough but fun battles and very well written story dialogue. While I would not recommend it on Elite level I would definitely recommend it. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who like a good story combined with tough battles.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This a great grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Prior to entering the first custom map you need to add the location of the various tasks for the player to be able to find their way. The same principle should be applied to the location of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: The Bridge: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider making the extinguishers go away when the player gets to the first console. After a while the extinguisher noise becomes annoying.
Cargo bays: This is a good map design with tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Tetryone energy is not a natural component of quantum filaments, sir" to read "Tetryon energy is not a natural component of quantum filaments, sir".
Mess Hall: This is a good map design with tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Engineering: This is a good map design with very tough battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
The Bridge#2: This is a good map design with a very tough battle, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Tau Dewa block: This is a good map design with very tough battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-If you cannot fix this then make sure you report this issue to Cryptic, the Commander Tolek dialogue screen shows him zoomed in so you can only see his nose, mouth, and top of his uniform.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
I'll appreciate your feedback and notes for any glitches and typos.
Hi Commodore,
Welcome to the queue. Your mission is currently 17th in the queue behind skyline45. I am hoping to get into the queue this weekend and see if I can move you a little closer to review. I will get to your mission as soon as I can.
Thanks for the review! It always helps to know what people think. Thanks again!
Don't let them promote you. Don't let them transfer you. Don't let them do anything that takes you off the bridge of that ship, because while you're there... you can make a difference.
-Captain James T. Kirk
Whats up evil? Me again. Just wanted to give you the heads up my mission is published again. So throw me back in the queue if you had to pass me up ^.^
It's been awhile, O Evil One, but I have a new Fed-allied Romulan mission for you!
Title: "[Rom] Valley of the Shadow I" (aka "Into the Valley")
ID: ST-HBHYVOLP6
Author: @NCC-89471
Allegiance: Federation/Romulan
Level: 31+
Estimated play time: 60-75 minutes
You can post your feedback on this thread, or on the thread I created for the VotS trilogy I have planned.
It's been awhile, O Evil One, but I have a new Fed-allied Romulan mission for you!
Title: "[Rom] Valley of the Shadow I" (aka "Into the Valley")
ID: ST-HBHYVOLP6
Author: @NCC-89471
Allegiance: Federation/Romulan
Level: 31+
Estimated play time: 60-75 minutes
You can post your feedback on this thread, or on the thread I created for the VotS trilogy I have planned.
Thanks again...
Hi Pax,
Welcome back to the long queue. Your mission will be 17th in the queue behind commodoreobvious. I have been very busy at work and have not been able to spend time working on missions as much as I would like to. It is still very busy at work but I am trying to make head way and will get to your mission as soon as I can.
Hello there Brian, my name is Bryan :P Anywho, I published this mission a couple of weeks ago and got some feedback and updated things accordingly, so now I'm looking for some more opinions. Yours would be nice, especially because yours are so thorough This is my first mission, so I'd like to know how I can improve overall as well as the specific mission. For example, my story-telling, dialogue style, pacing, character design, etc. as well as anything about this specific mission.
Summary: This is a good combat oriented mission with good map design, several very tough battles, and well written story dialogue. The mission dialogue takes the player through each map from battle to battle, gathering information as you go. At the end of the mission it lives up to the title with the betrayal of the Klingons by one of their own and the aid of a valiant Federation captain in the restoration of Klingon Honor. I would recommend this mission to other players although not on Elite level.
I mentioned the puzzle in this mission. This part of the critique is not completely aimed at you the author but at all authors who like using puzzles in their missions. The puzzle in this mission, like so many others I have played, did not seem to really be needed as part of the story line. As I recommended below I liked the fact that you provided a "skip" option albeit after the player had attempted it at least once. I would suggest placing that option at the start of the puzzle. It would give the player the option to skip over and continue the mission. I understand that some players may like solving puzzles but it does absolutely nothing for me as I go through a mission except stop the flow of it. I do not play these missions so I can do math problems. If I wanted to do that I would not be trying to duck math classes as I go for my degree. The short answer here is for all authors who want to use puzzles in your missions you should provide the skip feature same as many do with dialogue, including myself. We give the player the option to skip the majority of the dialogue and receive a summary of information needed to proceed. The puzzles should be handled the same way.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description but you may want to cut down on the details about what you updated in the mission and add more of the story. The description should be used to draw the player in and make them want to click the "Hail" button. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: The initial task is good but consider adding the sector block to make it easier for the player to find where the first custom map starts.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the Entry prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Ponor System: This is a good map design with a good battle and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Research Station: This is a good map design with several very tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-I like the fact that you gave the player the option to skip the puzzle after the first attempt; however I think you should give the player the option to skip it from the start. I will cover this in more detail in my summary above.
Deep Space: This is a simple but good map design with very tough battles and a little story dialogue to move the mission forward. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-If you are going to place multiple enemy mobs on a map for the player to defeat consider moving them further apart to allow the player to use tactics to engage each enemy unit.
Aido System: This is a good map design with several very tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The house of Martok Cruiser does not survive the second wave of the attack but Hol'eQ still talks to the player at the end of the final battle.
-Consider spreading out the enemy mobs to give the player a better chance to use tactics to defeat the enemy.
-In the first dialogue following the second wave of attack the enemy is named Horath, but in the second dialogue window he is named Korath as he was in the initial dialogue before the battles started.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
I want to start off by telling everyone in the queue how sorry I am it has been taking me so long to get to your missions. Between my real job and working at Comic-Con I have been very busy so my only time to play has been weekends. At some point I also have to cram my social life in there so I do not go crazy. I am not saying playing STO constantly is a bad thing but believe it or not I do have friends outside of STO. So anyway I am trying to get to the queue as fast as I can. This is the queue as it stands right now:
The queue
Mission 1: Hostile Diplomacy Author: treky1134: This one is on hold as the author has not made it available. When it is available I will evaluate it but in the meantime I am skipping over it to complete other missions that are available in the queue.
Mission 2: No Prize for Second Contact II Author: Contactpsi: This mission has a glitch on the Chapter V, Heservat III map with the initial spawn point placing the player inside a rock. I have notified the author to fix and let me know when it is ready for me to continue. When it is available I will evaluate it but in the meantime I am skipping over it to complete other missions that are available in the queue.
Mission 3: Secrets Ahead Author: Kempoh: With the other mission on hold this one will be the next in line for completion.
Mission 4: Overture 6: Finale with Cannonade Author: KineticImpulser
Mission 5: The Writers of History Author: Donkyhotay
Mission 6: GRIZZ's Farmer - The Siren Star Author: chitowngrizz420
Mission 7: Cero Troubles Author: CougarXLS
Mission 8: All Roads Lead To Rome Author: horriblecat
Mission 9: Admiral in Peril v1 Author: antman9173
Mission 10: Task Force Sol Author: usmcprim
Mission 11: A time to search Author: lincolninspace
Mission 12: Eternal Madness Author: dewey001
Mission 13: Contact Squared Author: eldil1
Mission 14: The Beta Rana Incident Author: marhawkman
Mission 15: The Wave Empire Ep.5 Author: skyline45
Mission 16: Violations and Resistance Author: commodoreobvious
Mission 17: "[Rom] Valley of the Shadow I" (aka "Into the Valley") Author: NCC-89471
Brian - very gracious of you to offer to do this, and in such detail. This is my first Foundry attempt, though it has progressed through a couple major edits based on feedback and personal play-through and reflection. Begins in Q'onoS (shipyard, console behind the ship repair engineer). I appreciate it!
Hello, Evil 70th, I have a couple of missions I would like for you to review, I will give you the information that you will need.
Please note, Part one starts at the end of my other series and this part continues the story but playing the other series is not needed but you might be confused.
__________________________________________________________________________
Mission Name: The Fvain Group part one. ( Most of this mission is done in flashbacks)
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HUUBIG8KJ
Estimated Mission Length: About 45 min to an hour. Depends on you.
Story:From the Borg---Jem' Hadar battle crisis came a group of officers who are plotting the downfall of the Federation by any and all means. They have triggered some sort of splinter group. Enemies are now allies and allies are now enemies. Can you put a stop to this before this group successful. If they are, what will be the balance of power be like in the area? Where did this group come from and who leads this group? How big is this group? The answer may or may not surprise you.
Starting place: Wall console just outside of the Transporter room on Earth space dock.
__________________________________________________________________________
Mission Name: The Fvain Group part Tne. ( You will need a shuttle for one part of this mission, the game will tell you when you need it.)
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HFIPWJ7A5
Estimated Mission Length: About 30-45 min.
Story: Now we know who in Starfleet's Echelon is part of the Fvain Group, but does it going further up the chain then some of its command officers. Are there more misguided officers who are plotting? Who will we enter into a temporary alliance with, The Romulans or the Klingons, to put an end to this and will this new alliance push the Federation across the line that they can not undo or will the ends justify the means to whatever the length Starfleet will go to end this threat once and for all? Another player is revealed.
Starting place: Wall console just outside of the Transporter room on Earth space dock.
__________________________________________________________________________
Thank you for taking the time to play and review my missions.
Thank you for posting the current queue, I appreciate knowing where I am in line. We also understand you have a real life besides STO and that it takes awhile to test everything and I am grateful for the time you do spend doing this.
Do not be afraid to joust a giant just because some people insist on believing in windmills.
Check out my foundry mission "The Writers of History".
Brian - very gracious of you to offer to do this, and in such detail. This is my first Foundry attempt, though it has progressed through a couple major edits based on feedback and personal play-through and reflection. Begins in Q'onoS (shipyard, console behind the ship repair engineer). I appreciate it!
Comments
Federation Mission - The Odin
Author: Hiigariain
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HAR7Y9G9M
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission with good map designs, tough battles, and excellent story dialogue. The battles were very tough and I would not recommend the mission on Elite but the battles can be won eventually on Normal level. Your story dialogue is well written but on the last two maps it felt as if you were rushing to finish the story. As I mention below on those two maps I felt you could have fleshed out the story a little more. If the Captain of the Odin was truly the player's friend then their dialogue should have reflected more of that. The player should have been more reflective of the betrayal of their academy friend. Consider adding a little more to the story, even if this is a single mission with no sequel planned you should make the player want more. Despite that I would still highly recommend this mission to other players. I really enjoyed it.
I mention the use of the response button "Continue" on pretty much every map. This is something I recommend the author uses to help tell the story and include the player as more of a participant rather than just a reader. You want to get the player drawn into the story, to care what happens next. This is particularly true when it comes to the "Captain" responding to a BOFF report or dialog from an NPC. An exception to this would be when reading log entry or something along those lines, but even in those circumstances I recommend the use of "..." as an alternative. Yes I know Cryptic missions use the response button "Continue" a lot. In my opinion it seems unlikely that a Captain would simply say "Continue". This, like everything else in my reviews is my personal opinion.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow-on dialogue are well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Consider adding the start location of the first custom map to the initial task. This will help the player find where to start the mission. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the entry button from "Continue" to read "Let's go" or something along those lines.
MAPS:
The Signal's Origin: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue". I will cover this in more detail in my summary.
-The smoke in the shuttle bay seemed out of place. I believe the object you used for the debris has a smoke effect built in. If you added additional smoke consider removing it. If the smoke was from the debris then consider changing the debris to some other object. The smoke seems like it would be unlikely to be there in a Starfleet shuttle bay.
Opin System - Beta Quadrant: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
USS Crake - Bridge: This is a good map design with a fun battle and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-The "Investigate the Attack" console button says "Interact" which is the default Foundry entry. Consider changing it to "Access console" or something along those lines.
-The "Perform Sweep of the USS Crake" button seems unnecessary to the story, especially since it provides the player with no real information and both options remain available regardless of what the player does. Consider removing that interaction or making setting it to disappear after the player accesses it. This can be done by making it an objective or triggered dialogue that can be set to disappear once interacted with or once another objective is accomplished.
Main Engineering: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-The force field separating the ensign from the player does not go all the way up. Consider adding a wall section above the force field or making the force field go all the way to the ceiling.
Bridge: This is a good map design with a tough battle and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
Opin System: This is a good map design with very tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
System STS-42: This is a good map design with very tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
USS Odin - Bridge: This is a good map design with very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written but felt as if it was a little rushed at the end. There is an opportunity to provide a little more intrigue and keep the player interested in a potential sequel to this mission. Consider adding a little more story and some background on the new dissident movement that appears to be growing. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
System STS-42 Departure: This map design is okay but like the other one it felt a little rushed. If the player had actually known the Captain of the Odin then they should hold more dialogue regarding the apparent betrayal of the former friend. Add more to the story to make the player feel more like they actually knew the NPC. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission and I truly enjoyed it. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 05/19/2013 on forum posting for: I would appreciate constructive feedback on "The Odin" my first labour of love!
Absolutely appreciate it. Don't worry, I knew it would be a long wait. I had just lost track of where you were at. Thanks again, people like you help authors like me get better!
Don't let them promote you. Don't let them transfer you. Don't let them do anything that takes you off the bridge of that ship, because while you're there... you can make a difference.
-Captain James T. Kirk
Thanks Evil,
I'm in no hurry, I just appreciate you taking the time to help me improve my mission.
My Missions
Contact Squared Part 1
Contact Squared Part 2
Contact Squared: Tribunal (coming soon)
Contact Squared: Shadows (coming... not as soon...)
That's fine man. There's no rush. Especially since all our missions are messed up from the LoR release still lol xD
My Foundry Missions:
The Wave Empire Series: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=279751
CatStar's Thread: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=548531
Idrona's Thread: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=684411
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
Hey antman,
Sorry for the late reply. I just finished a 131 hour pay period at work and it does not appear to be slowing down anytime soon. I currently have 17 missions in the queue. I really have no idea when I am going to be able to get to them but I want to as soon as I can. Your mission is currently 11th in the queue.
With the Foundry down I did not want to review missions that I cannot rate. Once it?s back up and running I hope to get back into my reviews.
Thanks for everyone?s patience.
Brian
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
Just think of all the lock box keys you can buy...
and
I wish I got paid for all those hours. Oh well, at least I have a job.
My Foundry Missions:
The Wave Empire Series: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=279751
No problem. Thanks for the heads up. Your mission is currently 17th in the queue so I will leave it in there as I am sure you'll be able to fix it before I get to it.
Thanks
Brian
I was going to start the mission queue again today and I noted your mission was not available so I went on to complete djf021's mission. Your mission will still be in the first position until you restore it.
Thanks
Brian
Federation Mission - Desperate Prey
Author: djf021
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HICAZDFJI
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission but I was not able to rate it or leave you feedback and a tip. I would definitely rate this mission with five stars. This was a fun mission with several tough but fun battles and very well written story dialogue. While I would not recommend it on Elite level I would definitely recommend it. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who like a good story combined with tough battles.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This a great grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Prior to entering the first custom map you need to add the location of the various tasks for the player to be able to find their way. The same principle should be applied to the location of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
The Bridge: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider making the extinguishers go away when the player gets to the first console. After a while the extinguisher noise becomes annoying.
Cargo bays: This is a good map design with tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Tetryone energy is not a natural component of quantum filaments, sir" to read "Tetryon energy is not a natural component of quantum filaments, sir".
Mess Hall: This is a good map design with tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Engineering: This is a good map design with very tough battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
The Bridge#2: This is a good map design with a very tough battle, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Tau Dewa block: This is a good map design with very tough battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-If you cannot fix this then make sure you report this issue to Cryptic, the Commander Tolek dialogue screen shows him zoomed in so you can only see his nose, mouth, and top of his uniform.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 06/22/2013 on forum posting for: [URL=" http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=519881"]Foundry missions by djf021[/URL]
Mission Name: Violations and Resistance
Author: commodoreobvious
Minimum Level: 40+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HQ6ATCLJD
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 minutes
I'll appreciate your feedback and notes for any glitches and typos.
Hi Commodore,
Welcome to the queue. Your mission is currently 17th in the queue behind skyline45. I am hoping to get into the queue this weekend and see if I can move you a little closer to review. I will get to your mission as soon as I can.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Don't let them promote you. Don't let them transfer you. Don't let them do anything that takes you off the bridge of that ship, because while you're there... you can make a difference.
-Captain James T. Kirk
Always happy to help. Wish I could play more.
Brian
My Foundry Missions:
The Wave Empire Series: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=279751
Title: "[Rom] Valley of the Shadow I" (aka "Into the Valley")
ID: ST-HBHYVOLP6
Author: @NCC-89471
Allegiance: Federation/Romulan
Level: 31+
Estimated play time: 60-75 minutes
You can post your feedback on this thread, or on the thread I created for the VotS trilogy I have planned.
Thanks again...
My Foundry missions | My STO Wiki page | My Twitter home page
Hi Pax,
Welcome back to the long queue. Your mission will be 17th in the queue behind commodoreobvious. I have been very busy at work and have not been able to spend time working on missions as much as I would like to. It is still very busy at work but I am trying to make head way and will get to your mission as soon as I can.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Federation Mission - Torg's Treason
Author: uncle2fire
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HENPNLRSY
Report Start
Summary: This is a good combat oriented mission with good map design, several very tough battles, and well written story dialogue. The mission dialogue takes the player through each map from battle to battle, gathering information as you go. At the end of the mission it lives up to the title with the betrayal of the Klingons by one of their own and the aid of a valiant Federation captain in the restoration of Klingon Honor. I would recommend this mission to other players although not on Elite level.
I mentioned the puzzle in this mission. This part of the critique is not completely aimed at you the author but at all authors who like using puzzles in their missions. The puzzle in this mission, like so many others I have played, did not seem to really be needed as part of the story line. As I recommended below I liked the fact that you provided a "skip" option albeit after the player had attempted it at least once. I would suggest placing that option at the start of the puzzle. It would give the player the option to skip over and continue the mission. I understand that some players may like solving puzzles but it does absolutely nothing for me as I go through a mission except stop the flow of it. I do not play these missions so I can do math problems. If I wanted to do that I would not be trying to duck math classes as I go for my degree.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description but you may want to cut down on the details about what you updated in the mission and add more of the story. The description should be used to draw the player in and make them want to click the "Hail" button. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: The initial task is good but consider adding the sector block to make it easier for the player to find where the first custom map starts.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the Entry prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
Ponor System: This is a good map design with a good battle and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Research Station: This is a good map design with several very tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-I like the fact that you gave the player the option to skip the puzzle after the first attempt; however I think you should give the player the option to skip it from the start. I will cover this in more detail in my summary above.
Deep Space: This is a simple but good map design with very tough battles and a little story dialogue to move the mission forward. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-If you are going to place multiple enemy mobs on a map for the player to defeat consider moving them further apart to allow the player to use tactics to engage each enemy unit.
Aido System: This is a good map design with several very tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The house of Martok Cruiser does not survive the second wave of the attack but Hol'eQ still talks to the player at the end of the final battle.
-Consider spreading out the enemy mobs to give the player a better chance to use tactics to defeat the enemy.
-In the first dialogue following the second wave of attack the enemy is named Horath, but in the second dialogue window he is named Korath as he was in the initial dialogue before the battles started.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 07/28/2013 on forum posting for: [URL=" http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=658011"]Torg's Treason[/URL]
The queue
Mission 1: Hostile Diplomacy Author: treky1134: This one is on hold as the author has not made it available. When it is available I will evaluate it but in the meantime I am skipping over it to complete other missions that are available in the queue.
Mission 2: No Prize for Second Contact II Author: Contactpsi: This mission has a glitch on the Chapter V, Heservat III map with the initial spawn point placing the player inside a rock. I have notified the author to fix and let me know when it is ready for me to continue. When it is available I will evaluate it but in the meantime I am skipping over it to complete other missions that are available in the queue.
Mission 3: Secrets Ahead Author: Kempoh: With the other mission on hold this one will be the next in line for completion.
Mission 4: Overture 6: Finale with Cannonade Author: KineticImpulser
Mission 5: The Writers of History Author: Donkyhotay
Mission 6: GRIZZ's Farmer - The Siren Star Author: chitowngrizz420
Mission 7: Cero Troubles Author: CougarXLS
Mission 8: All Roads Lead To Rome Author: horriblecat
Mission 9: Admiral in Peril v1 Author: antman9173
Mission 10: Task Force Sol Author: usmcprim
Mission 11: A time to search Author: lincolninspace
Mission 12: Eternal Madness Author: dewey001
Mission 13: Contact Squared Author: eldil1
Mission 14: The Beta Rana Incident Author: marhawkman
Mission 15: The Wave Empire Ep.5 Author: skyline45
Mission 16: Violations and Resistance Author: commodoreobvious
Mission 17: "[Rom] Valley of the Shadow I" (aka "Into the Valley") Author: NCC-89471
The End
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Mission Name: Imperial Incursion
Author: shillelagh73
Minimum Level: Any, ideally 50.
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HP7S8HVR6
Estimated Mission Length: 15-20 minutes (standard difficulty)
Please note, Part one starts at the end of my other series and this part continues the story but playing the other series is not needed but you might be confused.
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Mission Name: The Fvain Group part one. ( Most of this mission is done in flashbacks)
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HUUBIG8KJ
Estimated Mission Length: About 45 min to an hour. Depends on you.
Story:From the Borg---Jem' Hadar battle crisis came a group of officers who are plotting the downfall of the Federation by any and all means. They have triggered some sort of splinter group. Enemies are now allies and allies are now enemies. Can you put a stop to this before this group successful. If they are, what will be the balance of power be like in the area? Where did this group come from and who leads this group? How big is this group? The answer may or may not surprise you.
Starting place: Wall console just outside of the Transporter room on Earth space dock.
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Mission Name: The Fvain Group part Tne. ( You will need a shuttle for one part of this mission, the game will tell you when you need it.)
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HFIPWJ7A5
Estimated Mission Length: About 30-45 min.
Story: Now we know who in Starfleet's Echelon is part of the Fvain Group, but does it going further up the chain then some of its command officers. Are there more misguided officers who are plotting? Who will we enter into a temporary alliance with, The Romulans or the Klingons, to put an end to this and will this new alliance push the Federation across the line that they can not undo or will the ends justify the means to whatever the length Starfleet will go to end this threat once and for all? Another player is revealed.
Starting place: Wall console just outside of the Transporter room on Earth space dock.
__________________________________________________________________________
Thank you for taking the time to play and review my missions.
Thanks
Logitech007
Check out my foundry mission "The Writers of History".
Uprising: Act I - Off The Grid
Author : maninblack017
Faction : federation
Open to any level
Approximately 45 minutes to complete.
Thank you!
"The time has come to see the world as it is." - Captain James T. Kirk
Twitter - @SDVargo
Greetings shillelagh73,
Welcome to the queue of which your mission is 18th in it behind NCC-89471. I will get to your mission as soon as I can.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian