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Stargate Hail Ba'al Rambling

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  • legendarylycan#5411 legendarylycan Member Posts: 37,282 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    *looks over at sander* don't worry, starkiller - he's real
    Like special weapons from other Star Trek games? Wondering if they can be replicated in STO even a little bit? Check this out: https://forum.arcgames.com/startrekonline/discussion/1262277/a-mostly-comprehensive-guide-to-star-trek-videogame-special-weapons-and-their-sto-equivalents

    #LegalizeAwoo

    A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
    An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
    A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
    A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"


    "It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
    "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
    Passion and Serenity are one.
    I gain power by understanding both.
    In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
    I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
    The Force is united within me.
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    sander233 wrote: »
    *walks in to SG Command whistling "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" by AC/DC, accompanied by a platoon of SSEALs*

    Good morning, and good news, Vizier! I-

    *stares at worffan eating bagels with a bloodied, bare chested Kuntel. SSEAL bodyguards level thier weapons and await orders to fire*

    Uh, Vizier? Is that the real Kuntel? And how sure of this are we?

    *aside to his head of security*

    Take a dozen Jaffa or half a dozen SSEALs, check on the dead Kuntel, and make sure he's still dead.

    What wrong Colonel Sanders? Why so hostile, cher?
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    sander233 wrote: »
    *walks in to SG Command whistling "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" by AC/DC, accompanied by a platoon of SSEALs*

    Good morning, and good news, Vizier! I-

    *stares at worffan eating bagels with a bloodied, bare chested Kuntel. SSEAL bodyguards level thier weapons and await orders to fire*

    Uh, Vizier? Is that the real Kuntel? And how sure of this are we?

    *aside to his head of security*

    Take a dozen Jaffa or half a dozen SSEALs, check on the dead Kuntel, and make sure he's still dead.

    He's real. I had some Minions of Ba'al (tm) check Evil kuntel's corpse while you were out.

    Hey, thanks for the new flagship, by the way. I've got an uninhabited planet that I want to test it on. Be right back.

    Hail Ba'al!
  • sander233sander233 Member Posts: 3,992 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    He's real. I had some Minions of Ba'al (tm) check Evil kuntel's corpse while you were out.

    Hey, thanks for the new flagship, by the way. I've got an uninhabited planet that I want to test it on. Be right back.

    Hail Ba'al!

    Whoa, hang on! Let me walk you through it! You can't just grab the keys to the most awesome warship ever conceived of without some sort of checkout process. Besides, you don't even know where it is!
    16d89073-5444-45ad-9053-45434ac9498f.png~original

    ...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
    - Anne Bredon
  • sander233sander233 Member Posts: 3,992 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    Also, never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad to see you alive, Kuntel. Although I was looking forward to using "The Nozzle" on your eviler clone.
    16d89073-5444-45ad-9053-45434ac9498f.png~original

    ...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
    - Anne Bredon
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    sander233 wrote: »
    Whoa, hang on! Let me walk you through it! You can just grab the keys to the most awesome warship ever conceived of without some sort of checkout process. Besides, you don't even know where it is!

    I have the owner's manual that you so helpfully printed, and I have minions for the rest of the stuff. All I really need to know is the "SMITE" button.

    :D

    The keys and the location of the Superior Force would be nice, though.

    Hail Ba'al!
  • sander233sander233 Member Posts: 3,992 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    I have the owner's manual that you so helpfully printed, and I have minions for the rest of the stuff. All I really need to know is the "SMITE" button.

    :D

    The keys and the location of the Superior Force would be nice, though.

    Hail Ba'al!

    *Dangles keys tantalizingly*

    I'd tell you not scratch the paint, but its got a double hull of 10cm neutronium alloy plating (with 60cm of hard vacuum between each layer to mitigate shockwave propagation.)

    Except at the bow - that's 5m of solid neutronium so you can just ram things if you get tired of using the God Cannon. Or the antiproton lances. Or the gamma pulse lasers. Or the dual octuple rail guns. Or the hanger bays full of Death Gliders, Unseen Terror-class scout ships, and Extreme Prejudice-class warships.

    It's at the Beta Antares shipyard. It's the 50km-long ship that looks two super-star destroyers stacked on top of each other with an oil pipeline between them.

    Hail Ba'al!
    16d89073-5444-45ad-9053-45434ac9498f.png~original

    ...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
    - Anne Bredon
  • sander233sander233 Member Posts: 3,992 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    What wrong Colonel Sanders? Why so hostile, cher?

    Two things, Kuntel: 1) never call me that, and 2) we need to talk about your pet psychopaths. They keep sneaking up on me, which has become quite fatal to them since I assigned these SSEALs to my protection detail, but they won't let up.
    16d89073-5444-45ad-9053-45434ac9498f.png~original

    ...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
    - Anne Bredon
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    sander233 wrote: »
    *Dangles keys tantalizingly*

    I'd tell you not scratch the paint, but its got a double hull of 10cm neutronium alloy plating (with 60cm of hard vacuum between each layer to mitigate shockwave propagation.)

    Except at the bow - that's 5m of solid neutronium so you can just ram things if you get tired of using the God Cannon. Or the antiproton lances. Or the gamma pulse lasers. Or the dual octuple rail guns. Or the hanger bays full of Death Gliders, Unseen Terror-class scout ships, and Extreme Prejudice-class warships.

    It's at the Beta Antares shipyard. It's the 50km-long ship that looks two super-star destroyers stacked on top of each other with an oil pipeline between them.

    Hail Ba'al!

    ...

    I think I just had another totally-not-evil-at-allgasm.

    That is one EPIC starship!

    *boards Superior Force*

    Minions! Set course for Epsilon Andromedae 8!

    *Hyperdrive jumps the titanic warship to Epsilon Andromedae 8*

    Right. Set us up with the Smitation Cannon aimed at the planet.

    Jaffa: Ready to fire, Grand Vizier! Hail Ba'al!

    GV (settling in Glorious Command Throne (tm)): Right. Oh, man, I have ALWAYS wanted to say this...

    Yipee Ki-Yay, motherf*cker!

    *presses big red SMITE button*

    *God Mode Gun fires*

    SFX: KRACKOOOOOMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    GV: It even has simulated combat sounds!!!

    ...

    I think I'm in love with this ship.

    Jaffa: Sir? There are a few superfluous moons and asteroids floating around the debris field. Shall we target them?

    GV: Uh...

    Right. Yeah.

    Hit the moons with the railguns and antiproton cannons and the gamma pulse lasers before they can float too far out of the way.

    HAIL BA'AL!!!
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    *Victoria-Class Cruiser jumps out of hyperspace nearby, with me quickly beaming over, looking at worffan angrily.*

    Hi.
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    ryan218 wrote: »
    *Victoria-Class Cruiser jumps out of hyperspace nearby, with me quickly beaming over, looking at worffan angrily.*

    Hi.

    Oh. Uh. Hi?

    Don't worry, it should reform from the dust in a few billion years.

    And, uh, it wasn't exactly suitable for colonization beforehand.

    Uh.

    Sorry?

    We can bring a duplicate in from an alternate universe with creative use of the Supergate, I guess?

    Hail Ba'al!
  • legendarylycan#5411 legendarylycan Member Posts: 37,282 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    *astral shadow pops up behind worffan and says in a singsong voice* someone's gonna get it!
    Like special weapons from other Star Trek games? Wondering if they can be replicated in STO even a little bit? Check this out: https://forum.arcgames.com/startrekonline/discussion/1262277/a-mostly-comprehensive-guide-to-star-trek-videogame-special-weapons-and-their-sto-equivalents

    #LegalizeAwoo

    A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
    An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
    A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
    A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"


    "It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
    "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
    Passion and Serenity are one.
    I gain power by understanding both.
    In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
    I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
    The Force is united within me.
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Oh. Uh. Hi?

    Don't worry, it should reform from the dust in a few billion years.

    And, uh, it wasn't exactly suitable for colonization beforehand.

    Uh.

    Sorry?

    We can bring a duplicate in from an alternate universe with creative use of the Supergate, I guess?

    Hail Ba'al!

    I have just spent a day in an escape pod! Left for DEAD!

    *Starts walking towards worffan.*

    I mean, I could understand if, say, I was kuntel, but your Minister of Colonisation? Oh, no!

    Apologise... before I go Picard on you...
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    ryan218 wrote: »
    I have just spent a day in an escape pod! Left for DEAD!

    *Starts walking towards worffan.*

    I mean, I could understand if, say, I was kuntel, but your Minister of Colonisation? Oh, no!

    Apologise... before I go Picard on you...

    *Leans in from behind, then whispers in the ear.*

    ... What does that mean, cher?

    *Is still bloody and bare chested, the tattoos slightly glowing.
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    ryan218 wrote: »
    I have just spent a day in an escape pod! Left for DEAD!

    *Starts walking towards worffan.*

    I mean, I could understand if, say, I was kuntel, but your Minister of Colonisation? Oh, no!

    Apologise... before I go Picard on you...

    I...um...sorry?

    *to Jaffa*

    Hey, minion! What the hell happened to the tel'tak I sent out for Minister Ryan, anyway???

    Hail Ba'al!
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    I...um...sorry?

    *to Jaffa*

    Hey, minion! What the hell happened to the tel'tak I sent out for Minister Ryan, anyway???

    Hail Ba'al!

    NOT GOOD ENOUGH, DAMMIT! NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

    No, actually, I can do one better than going Picard on you...

    I, can go, Shatner, on you...
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    ryan218 wrote: »
    NOT GOOD ENOUGH, DAMMIT! NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

    No, actually, I can do one better than going Picard on you...

    I, can go, Shatner, on you...

    ... Okay, I actually want to see that.

    *Walks out from behind Ryan.*
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    ryan218 wrote: »
    NOT GOOD ENOUGH, DAMMIT! NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

    No, actually, I can do one better than going Picard on you...

    I, can go, Shatner, on you...

    Dude, I SENT a luxury tel'tak to pick you up! It had an on-board Jaccuzi and everything!!!

    Jaffa: Grand Vizier, the tel'tak you sent has vanished off of all sensors. We still do not know what happened.

    Grand Vizier: Um...

    So...

    Yeah. Looks like the luxury ship I sent for you was ambushed by the All-Father nuts.

    You want to come with to crush them? I'll let you fire the Smitation Gun!

    Hail Ba'al!
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Dude, I SENT a luxury tel'tak to pick you up! It had an on-board Jaccuzi and everything!!!

    Jaffa: Grand Vizier, the tel'tak you sent has vanished off of all sensors. We still do not know what happened.

    Grand Vizier: Um...

    So...

    Yeah. Looks like the luxury ship I sent for you was ambushed by the All-Father nuts.

    You want to come with to crush them? I'll let you fire the Smitation Gun!

    Hail Ba'al!

    ...

    I want a promotion. And a personal warship of my design.

    And a moon. Preferably one that was habitable.

    Oh, and Gibraltar.

    And I want to kill the evil Kuntel, slowly, in the gravity torture chamber. Permanently.
  • legendarylycan#5411 legendarylycan Member Posts: 37,282 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    *whines* how come everyone is getting personal warships except me?
    Like special weapons from other Star Trek games? Wondering if they can be replicated in STO even a little bit? Check this out: https://forum.arcgames.com/startrekonline/discussion/1262277/a-mostly-comprehensive-guide-to-star-trek-videogame-special-weapons-and-their-sto-equivalents

    #LegalizeAwoo

    A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
    An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
    A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
    A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"


    "It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
    "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
    Passion and Serenity are one.
    I gain power by understanding both.
    In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
    I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
    The Force is united within me.
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    *whines* how come everyone is getting personal warships except me?

    Kuntel doesn't either! And the Lexington is technically a ship of exploration, not a warship.
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    ryan218 wrote: »
    ...

    I want a promotion. And a personal warship of my design.

    And a moon. Preferably one that was habitable.

    Oh, and Gibraltar.

    And I want to kill the evil Kuntel, slowly, in the gravity torture chamber. Permanently.
    Done deal. But you can kill him as many times as you like; we have a sarcophagus, after all.

    You can also feed him to an Old One if you like...
    *whines* how come everyone is getting personal warships except me?

    You want one? Sure. How about an enhanced Extreme Prejudice-class with upgraded weapons and shield systems stolen from the Iconians and the 31st century of the trekverse. Oh, and a temporal core, just for kicks.

    Hail Ba'al!
  • rattler2rattler2 Member, Star Trek Online Moderator Posts: 58,450 Community Moderator
    edited July 2014
    *Walks in, still in vixen form and looking tired*
    Ugh...
    *Sees Kuntel and pounces, pinning him to the wall*
    How the HELL did you escape? And WHAT THE HELL WITH MAKING AN EVIL CLONE OF ME?!
    db80k0m-89201ed8-eadb-45d3-830f-bb2f0d4c0fe7.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2ExOGQ4ZWM2LTUyZjQtNDdiMS05YTI1LTVlYmZkYmJkOGM3N1wvZGI4MGswbS04OTIwMWVkOC1lYWRiLTQ1ZDMtODMwZi1iYjJmMGQ0YzBmZTcucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.8G-Pg35Qi8qxiKLjAofaKRH6fmNH3qAAEI628gW0eXc
    I can't take it anymore! Could everyone just chill out for two seconds before something CRAZY happens again?!
    The nut who actually ground out many packs. The resident forum voice of reason (I HAZ FORUM REP! YAY!)
  • sander233sander233 Member Posts: 3,992 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Dude, I SENT a luxury tel'tak to pick you up! It had an on-board Jaccuzi and everything!!!

    Jaffa: Grand Vizier, the tel'tak you sent has vanished off of all sensors. We still do not know what happened.

    Grand Vizier: Um...

    So...

    Yeah. Looks like the luxury ship I sent for you was ambushed by the All-Father nuts.

    You want to come with to crush them? I'll let you fire the Smitation Gun!

    Hail Ba'al!

    *pops up on holoviewer.*

    Actually, he can't fire the God Cannon. Only you can. The Smite! button is biometrically encoded to your right index fingerprint.

    I thought you said you read the manual?

    (also, don't lose that finger.)
    16d89073-5444-45ad-9053-45434ac9498f.png~original

    ...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
    - Anne Bredon
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    rattler2 wrote: »
    *Walks in, still in vixen form and looking tired*
    Ugh...
    *Sees Kuntel and pounces, pinning him to the wall*
    How the HELL did you escape? And WHAT THE HELL WITH MAKING AN EVIL CLONE OF ME?!

    Woah... what is that about?

    *Walks over.*

    Er... Jade? I don't think he'd ever do something that... creepy.

    Please don't kill me.
  • sander233sander233 Member Posts: 3,992 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Done deal. But you can kill him as many times as you like; we have a sarcophagus, after all.

    You can also feed him to an Old One if you like...


    You want one? Sure. How about an enhanced Extreme Prejudice-class with upgraded weapons and shield systems stolen from the Iconians and the 31st century of the trekverse. Oh, and a temporal core, just for kicks.

    Hail Ba'al!

    I thought you let shadowfang have an Unseen Terror-class; the Something-or-other Subtlety?
    16d89073-5444-45ad-9053-45434ac9498f.png~original

    ...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
    - Anne Bredon
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    sander233 wrote: »
    *pops up on holoviewer.*

    Actually, he can't fire the God Cannon. Only you can. The Smite! button is biometrically encoded to your right index fingerprint.

    I thought you said you read the manual?

    (also, don't lose that finger.)

    Awesome.

    In that case, Ryan, you can fly one of the auxiliary warships and/or fire the railguns.

    Hail Ba'al!
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    rattler2 wrote: »
    *Walks in, still in vixen form and looking tired*
    Ugh...
    *Sees Kuntel and pounces, pinning him to the wall*
    How the HELL did you escape? And WHAT THE HELL WITH MAKING AN EVIL CLONE OF ME?!
    *Blinks*

    Uh, cher? What are you talking about?


    *Gulps*

    Did those weird out of place feelings from before turn into something else?
  • legendarylycan#5411 legendarylycan Member Posts: 37,282 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    You want one? Sure. How about an enhanced Extreme Prejudice-class with upgraded weapons and shield systems stolen from the Iconians and the 31st century of the trekverse. Oh, and a temporal core, just for kicks.

    Hail Ba'al!
    no, i want one of these *holds out a set of blueprints for a Harrower-class_dreadnought*

    only 4 times the size, turbolasers and laser cannons replaced with dark matter cannons, torpedo launchers filled with the strongest naquadria-enhanced warheads you have, and assuming it's finally working...an arc reactor
    Like special weapons from other Star Trek games? Wondering if they can be replicated in STO even a little bit? Check this out: https://forum.arcgames.com/startrekonline/discussion/1262277/a-mostly-comprehensive-guide-to-star-trek-videogame-special-weapons-and-their-sto-equivalents

    #LegalizeAwoo

    A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
    An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
    A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
    A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"


    "It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
    "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
    Passion and Serenity are one.
    I gain power by understanding both.
    In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
    I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
    The Force is united within me.
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    sander233 wrote: »
    I thought you let shadowfang have an Unseen Terror-class; the Something-or-other Subtlety?

    Just on loan.

    But I'm pretty sure that I can get it and a command cruiser for him both on a more permanent basis.

    Hail Ba'al!
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