Thank you for your review helixfungus! Good idea on removing the 'no combat' disclaimer in the description. I suppose it was obvious that a lot of the tension will evaporate if the player already has a good idea on what to expect.
I'll try addressing some of the other things that you have pointed out, such as adding in more stuff to explore (something that I now know how to do well after making Escalation.)
Edit: I have added more things to find in the space segments of the mission.
(I'm keeping note of them as I come to them, In no way am I attempting to only point out issues. I will summarize at the end.)
Issues in order; ship name in the sign in does U.S.S. R.R.W. for my ship.
You may want to smooth out the explanation, it reads very quickly feels like it's just blurted out.
Several minor typos, in the initial meeting dialogue.
The battle scenes between are fantastic. However, upon reaching the primary battle, everything bugged out, the enemies were killed before the dialogue caught up and told me to join the fight.
The Wells Class dialogue is very confusing, you may want to rethink how he explains the situation.
After that, everything runs pretty smoothly, there was the occasional dialogue typo, but it's understandable given the amount of dialogue.
Summary: Very enjoyable mission, work out the bug in the Earth encounter and clean up some of the dialogue and it will be darn near perfect in my opinion.
Hey tridentkilla, thank you for playing part 4. I hope the story was good for you understanding wise, I do hope you can and will take the time to play the other 3 parts, it should begin the story.
I will take a look at the spelling and the way the earth scene is set up I believe that battle u are given a choice to either fight for go to the rift.
I know I am supposed to be working on pt 2 of the Red Eclipse series but I am having a little issue with the storyline, so I decided to take a break with it. During so, I came up with a new story idea and will be creating the mission soon(ish).
Where Angels Fear to Tread will be a Federation mission, approximately lvl 45 (I am assuming due to the use of Borg)
The basic storyline is this:
After delivering relief supplies to a newly-established Federation colony you receive an emergency hail from the USS Icarus under attack by Borg spheres. You respond and save the Captain and her crew. Before you can celebrate, however, you suddenly find yourself an a different timeline where the Borg have all but brought mankind to the brink of extinction and have spread their influence throughout the four quadrants. Even more frightening, the Borg have developed advanced stealth tactics, abandoned their drive towards assimilation and are intent on the complete and utter massacre of and any all non-Borg life forms.
There will be multiple dialogue options and outcomes and, if I can swing it, multiple mission endings depending on the choices of the Player.
Potential banner below: Banner Image Here
Really good mission by Logitech! Might be my favourite one of his. The story is quite intruiging and the maps are great as usual. Theres also a nice plot twist at the end which turns into another cliffhanger.
However theres a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes and characters lack individual personalities (i.e. they all speak the same way). Theres also some technical problems regarding some puzzles and several things that jarr me out of my immersion (including the characters). I list them in the details.
Overall it gets a 3 out of 5. Minuses mainly for for some textual things, tech issues and immersion, big plus for the very interesting story.
Details:
General
I dont understand the use of reach markers before using an interact. For example Talk to bob You have a reach marker at the guy, and when you reach him a Talk to Bob objective appears where you talk to him. You dont need the reach marker.
Prologue
The first sentence you say the Tzenkethi are back twice. Probably an editing error I do this a lot.
Starting location doesnt make sense in regards to the story.
Map - Tzenkethi Mine
You need to move your spawn point, one of my boffs spawned inside something and got stuck
I feel like the fight doesnt make sense. We have all our weapons on us I know theres no way to force a melee fight but it was a wtf this makes no sense
I like this investigation part
IMO the starfleet officers shouldnt have been in teh same room...it felt silly asking everyone where they were when theyre literally right next to the naausicans
Good map
Map - USS Drug
Really cool flashback scene
Maybe give the player something to do, as if they were one of the officers (maybe the captain himself)
Map - Tzenkethi
I never talked to the Romulans or Nausicaans but the dialogue says I did (and they declined to help)
Why did the Tzenkethi help me? I hope this gets explained!
The distraction objective didnt fire at first, I had to walk around in order for it to work. Probably the reach marker is too big
Holy TRIBBLE how did I move the rock???
Map - Restricted Area
I recommend not using Hirogen as they spawn other hirogens via the holo emitter
Puzzle doesnt make sense, would be weird for a console to ask you to input a prime number just to open a forcefield. Something like we can hack this but I need you to help me captain! a bunch of numbers will appear and when they do hit the prime number button!
You did this in the next console puzzle. It has the same numbers though, you should use a different set to make it more interesting.
You left both consoles there too, make the puzzle console disappear and bring in one that has no default text with it.
You have a whole string of consoles to do this puzzle in objectives however they are all active already. You need to bring them in one by one when their objective comes up. I did them all in teh wrong order
Cool map again
Map - Ghoma System
Nice Map
Boom!
THe mines were placesd very 2 dimensionally so they blew up in a line. In space I could have just flown above or below them!
Same issue iwth Hirogen ships, they spawn other hirogen ships (photonic)
Map - Next map (forgot name)
Can skip this map, just pretend to warp to this location from the previous map and have the ships appear. Then you can beam onto the Odyssey skipping a map transition
Map - U.S.S. Odyssey
Lt. Zorbaneq...that name sounds familiar
Uh starfleet made a clone of me? Im pretty sure thats against the rules
Wait were leaving? Did that cool Tzenkethi guy get rescued? Maybe I missed somethign
Map - Unknown Location
Interesting map design. Kind of dangerously prone to failure though (like if someone lags they might fall off and theyre screwed)
Kris Mento guy is interesting
Map - Next Map (forgot name)
omg it was diversion! You did it before Cryptic
A more confusing mission than Part Two, and feeling a lot less polished. I felt like there was more huh this doesnt make sense moments for me than in Part two. The story is still pretty interesting though, Im assuming it will end up with a big battle in part four. Final score three out of five.
Details:
General
Lots of typos and spelling and grammar mistakes
Felt really long
Needed to really suspend my disbelief to take some of the mission seriously
Prologue
Starting location makes no sense
The mission says it starts at DS9, so why doesnt it start at DS9
Map - Deep Space
Quick Map but kinda understandable, had to fight your way to DS9. Would have liked to see the DS9 object there though especially since I got into transporter range somehow
Map - Conference Room
The Tzenekthi wasnt a trojan horse he just helped me for some reason
Im goign to a Hirogen facility? I looked over the dialogue twice and it never says Im going to one until the Fleet Admiral tells me its a good idea
Very quick map, walk in talk and leave
Exit dialogue doesnt make sense, I beamed on DS9 and then suddenly Im arriving at the Blii system.
Map - Blii System
This Hirogen just yelled at me but I dont see him
Ok I flew around and saw him but hes sitting at Satellite #2 even though I scanned #3 and it says he appeared in front of me.
Seems kind of silly Im running around a hirogen base, even had a guy yell at me to go away and Im doing whatever I want (scanning stuff, beaming over stuff)
Map - Hirogen Monitor Station
Interesting decorations
Didnt realize there was a 2nd floor, I ran around wondering where teh bad guys were.
The scan cargo containers can be put into one objective (Scan Containers (x/y))
Again the exit dialogue doesnt make sense, Im on the Hirogen base but my officer says were dropping out of warp into the battle
Map - Starbase 375
Unnamed costumes
I need to bring down a field? What field? I feel like there is important things in the story that I am missing, all I know is that Im killing a bunch of Tzenkethi to take the starbase back.
Map - Tzenkethi Dreadnought Vessel
Great detailed map
Boffs didnt follow me through the opening and closing door. What if they are playing multiplayer, the other guys will get locked out
Floating comm panel?
These open/close door objectives seem pointless they dont really add anything
So I basically helped them set up a super weapon? That was kind of dumb we should have figured out what it did before giving it to them
Planet conquering took like 10 seconds, doesnt make sense
Map - Tzenketh
Interesting map but the middle area is kinda empty
Why are two objectives sending me to places where im not supposed to go. If the player wants to explore you should give them the choice but not force them to do it
I get picked up by a fleet but theyre at the Tzkenth homeworld, seems kind of unlikely they could do that
Excellent mission by prierin, hes really improved from his first one. There are still a few polish issues remaining but they are few and far between. The tech is quite nice as well as there is a lot of branching things the player can do. The story is very strong as well which kept my interest throughout the mission. One criticism I have is that the boffs and player are forced to be a certain character. Its a tough line to straddle and Ive gotten into this problem before.
Overall though this gets a very well deserved 5 out of 5.
General
I like how the objectives are guided by dialogue
Common mis-spelling Deligate should be delegate. I recommend typing your dialogue in a word processor first for spell checking
Lots of branching objectives
This could make a good Romulan Fed mission
Boffs speak with a lot of colloquialisms which wouldnt fit with an alien boff
Prologue
Mission Grant Dialogue uses the wrong tag. You put [MissionText] instead of [MissionInfo]
Map - Private Room
Hehe Jameson is standing on a chair, looks kinda silly not sure if you meant to do that
Woot I got all the questions right the first time
Short map
Map - Delta Sector #3581-AA
Pretty map
Dodododo
The end animation looked pretty neat
Another quick map though
Map - Station Delta VI
Map is well decorated
the meet ambassadors objectives could have been a complete all (just a note)
Typo: ferengi says holio vid instead of holo vid/ferengi says friendhsips (friendships) the Klingon didnt like the fact Im an engineer
Hmm the Vulcan calls me young, I may or may not be young. More RP prone people may take issue with this (I had no problem)
The Cardassian Ambassador Gen Dummond is still hanging out after the crazy stuff happened
Whoa the override console is pretty well placed, I didnt notice it when I was running around
The second override console sticks into the next room
I thought the way to get to the maintenance console was to do a jumping puzzle, did not realize a reach marker was next to it and got confused for a bit
Map - Forgot name
Scan the bomb interact animation uses a Klingon tricorder
Map - Station Delta VI - Engineering Level
Wrong boff talking to me on the exit map dialogue
I also wanted to explore more
Map - Delta Sector #3581-AA
Wasnt really given direction on map load
A visual indication of the objective components in Search for energy signature would make it less annoying
Map - Warp Space
quick map but interesting idea
Map - The Scion - Personnel Level
After you scan the forcefield he grins from ear to ear. My boff is female
Well done iwth the turbolift
Map - The Scion - Sublevel
Argh the minimap is not very good with maps with different levels, got lost (not your fault)
In my opinion the lock the bad guys behind doors should be an optional thing. if i wanted to blow their heads off I should be allowed to
Aeron the Gray showing up appears too close to the reach marker. When I got in there the pop up came and i wa reading but then I got into a fight. An invisible wall that drops after the dialogue finished would solve this
Oh god I vaporized jameson
Excellent mission by prierin, hes really improved from his first one. There are still a few polish issues remaining but they are few and far between. The tech is quite nice as well as there is a lot of branching things the player can do. The story is very strong as well which kept my interest throughout the mission. One criticism I have is that the boffs and player are forced to be a certain character. Its a tough line to straddle and Ive gotten into this problem before.
Overall though this gets a very well deserved 5 out of 5.
General
I like how the objectives are guided by dialogue
Common mis-spelling Deligate should be delegate. I recommend typing your dialogue in a word processor first for spell checking
Lots of branching objectives
This could make a good Romulan Fed mission
Boffs speak with a lot of colloquialisms which wouldnt fit with an alien boff
Prologue
Mission Grant Dialogue uses the wrong tag. You put [MissionText] instead of [MissionInfo]
Map - Private Room
Hehe Jameson is standing on a chair, looks kinda silly not sure if you meant to do that
Woot I got all the questions right the first time
Short map
Map - Delta Sector #3581-AA
Pretty map
Dodododo
The end animation looked pretty neat
Another quick map though
Map - Station Delta VI
Map is well decorated
the meet ambassadors objectives could have been a complete all (just a note)
Typo: ferengi says holio vid instead of holo vid/ferengi says friendhsips (friendships) the Klingon didnt like the fact Im an engineer
Hmm the Vulcan calls me young, I may or may not be young. More RP prone people may take issue with this (I had no problem)
The Cardassian Ambassador Gen Dummond is still hanging out after the crazy stuff happened
Whoa the override console is pretty well placed, I didnt notice it when I was running around
The second override console sticks into the next room
I thought the way to get to the maintenance console was to do a jumping puzzle, did not realize a reach marker was next to it and got confused for a bit
Map - Forgot name
Scan the bomb interact animation uses a Klingon tricorder
Map - Station Delta VI - Engineering Level
Wrong boff talking to me on the exit map dialogue
I also wanted to explore more
Map - Delta Sector #3581-AA
Wasnt really given direction on map load
A visual indication of the objective components in Search for energy signature would make it less annoying
Map - Warp Space
quick map but interesting idea
Map - The Scion - Personnel Level
After you scan the forcefield he grins from ear to ear. My boff is female
Well done iwth the turbolift
Map - The Scion - Sublevel
Argh the minimap is not very good with maps with different levels, got lost (not your fault)
In my opinion the lock the bad guys behind doors should be an optional thing. if i wanted to blow their heads off I should be allowed to
Aeron the Gray showing up appears too close to the reach marker. When I got in there the pop up came and i wa reading but then I got into a fight. An invisible wall that drops after the dialogue finished would solve this
Oh god I vaporized jameson
Map - Kasse Space
Quick map but understandable
AH, thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it. Jameson on a chair... that's new due to the new ESD.... I'll have to move him.
Thanks for your notes... I will get in there and fix them WHEN I CAN... the foundry button on my log-in is greyed out... I can't access it at all atm.
An invisible wall that drops after the dialogue finished would solve this - GREAT idea! I'll implement that.
Oh god I vaporized jameson - LOL so did I a few times...
Again, glad you liked it... had a lit of fun with triggers on this one....
Nice initial map, with the tiny space facility concealed in that asteroid. Nothing too fancy... nice backdrop of choice too.
You are the first to pick "facility 4098" prison map and use it in a foundry mission, at least among the missions I've played so far.
The chronoton protected database its really a brilliant trek concept... this could build a solid base for the Starfleet of the far future, the one that uses "Timeships". Good branching dialogue here, btw
.
Nice customisation of the "facility" too. Ha ! That's a BIG nod to Q.Leap !!!
Nice trail of TOS Gideon story... I like this kind of follow up.
Enginering deck
It's only by chance that I could nerve pinch that engineer... about the coincidence factor... my fed main character is a Vulcan... so it fitted in perfectly...
Gideon first ground map
pretty much crowded, as it should be I guess... Nice custom maps, albeit I almost choking watching my character literally swimming through people...
Good rooftop scene... but that damned Memoschwackels pulled me off...
And...about Section 31 being involved in any fithy thing happening in ST.. stop it... there must be some other foul souls in Federation that do evil...
in kirk shoes map
there's a typo in the first dialog here.
what...where map
disorienting indeed... good job on the BoP remnant
Good solution to show up the exploding station (the reverse thrust).
You nicely tied up threads on Kirk's part. A nice piece, building greatly on TOS shoulders.
5 stars, and please, DO MORE
Ehm... I just realized that the mission is not on the list at the beginning of this thread... let me know if I have to remove it. However, that mission is way too cool...
clear tal shiar from...orbit map
There is a phrase going like this"you will need to neutralize the
those weapons before you can procede..." to correct.
Peeling off the enemy warbird was nothing special, and the map
scenery of this space map is quite dull, including the backdrop.
Romulan Orbital station Interior
Very unusual. There is little story,almost no dialog. I have to
defuse some bombs...and to clear it from Tal Shiar troops ? Yes I
had got it from the space map before, but I'll put in some dialog
at the very beginning. Up to you though. And I strongly suggest
proofreading on all the dialogs... good use of a premade map
though, and you manage triggers the right way.
I'm not a great fan of ground combat... however I suggest to put
a respawn point outside the mess hall, coming from the starting
point... died several times and having to reach the hall from the
initial spawning is frustrating to tell the least... more spawn
points please....
Liberate the colony map
Nice map, with some action against tal shiar goons...
Final:
There no story within it, I simply fought against some tal shiar
troops, slightly better than a straight shoot em up...
Whelp, I lost all of my review notes while playing the mission, but I can list the main things here.
Your biggest strength was your superb map-making skills. You are very good with the tool. I was not sure however, if this was intended to be a serious or comedic mission if not both. This is mainly due in part to dialogue like "OMG" in the middle of it. I also found many typos throughout the story. I suggest going back or having a friend take notes on them for you in a review. In addition, some npcs had default foundry names, I suggest fixing those.
Well done.
4/5 stars.
My new mission.
Scars of the Pride, Part 3:Toxin Synopsis: It has been two days since the attack on the U.S.S. Simba. With Admiral Taka in a coma, your only hope of catching the raiders was a tracking device planted on the stolen Borg technology by Commander M'Kiara. Now the technology has surfaced on a world deep within Klingon Space. On this forgotten world you will discover the inner-workings of a plot to destroy the federation itself. Report to Deep Space K-7 in the Eta Eridani sector block to rendezvous with the U.S.S. Simba and stop a hidden evil from rising. Level 50+ Fed mission.
This short, combat-less, anyone-can-play mission is the appetizer to the trilogy, and sets up some story elements for The Unsung Mission trilogy. It features some of the features that are in the trilogy, such as branching dialogue and exploration. It also has a small (very) bonus quest at the end that can be played if you wish to get a little more story that ties into the the main-line series. If you like what is presented in this mission, then you should enjoy the rest of the series as well.
Synopsis:
Memory Alpha has been detecting some unusual readings from a nebula located somewhere in the Delta Volanis Cluster. They have requested a Starfleet vessel to investigate, and Stafleet has chosen you.
From the outset, this seems like a routine, single-ship mission. A nice break from the constant struggles that currently plague the Federation. That is, until you begin unlocking the nebula's secrets...
Hi starfarertheta!
A very interesting mission! I noted no grammatical or plot errors. For my own style of play I chose the more serious dialogue options, I appreciated the dialogue choices. Nice custom map work though bright lights within the nebula were a little distracting. However, please note that the directions were easy to understand and the lighting did not take away from the mission. Some may find that it adds to the challenge so I did not mark down for it.
Five Out of Five Stars!
Joe_King
Hi Zorbane!
Thanks for the recommendation to submit my mission to this thread! Please see the above review of "A Routine Mission" I left on starfarertheta's thread. It was a very good mission which I highly recommend!
I'd like to submit "Homage to Galris" for review, for everyone's consideration I would like to submit the following:
As the war with the Klingons wages on, you and your gallant crew are called to Risa to investigate an incident aboard the U.S.S. Missouri. The Missouri was escorting the Andorian and Galrisian ambassadors to a trade conference between member and non-member worlds.
All is not as it seems and the future of the Federation depends on your actions. Can you solve the mystery and save the Federation from a threat within its borders?
Mission Name:Homage to Galris ID:ST-HFAZTV5AX Author:Joe_King Language:English Allegiance:Starfleet Level:Any
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Please leave comments or suggestions on the main thread for Homage to Galris at the following link.
Also feel free to check out some of my other projects at the following link.
Comments
I'll try addressing some of the other things that you have pointed out, such as adding in more stuff to explore (something that I now know how to do well after making Escalation.)
Edit: I have added more things to find in the space segments of the mission.
Tyranny of the Tal Shiar
Author: Blucher
ID: ST-HE2SNQF50
Faction: Federation
Level Requirement: 16+
Length: 20 minutes or so.
Features:
-story(limited),-space combat,-ground combat.
Synopsis:
You are called to rid Archer of a Tal Shiar occupying force.
It's a pretty simple mission, designed to introduce a character that you'll see on the second part, so as to open the door to more missions.
My primary concern was working with triggers for the second map, would love to get feed back on what you guys think.
tridentkilla to get your mission on the list please play a mission that's currently on the list
http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showpost.php?p=11749701&postcount=2
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
Issues in order; ship name in the sign in does U.S.S. R.R.W. for my ship.
You may want to smooth out the explanation, it reads very quickly feels like it's just blurted out.
Several minor typos, in the initial meeting dialogue.
The battle scenes between are fantastic. However, upon reaching the primary battle, everything bugged out, the enemies were killed before the dialogue caught up and told me to join the fight.
The Wells Class dialogue is very confusing, you may want to rethink how he explains the situation.
After that, everything runs pretty smoothly, there was the occasional dialogue typo, but it's understandable given the amount of dialogue.
Summary: Very enjoyable mission, work out the bug in the Earth encounter and clean up some of the dialogue and it will be darn near perfect in my opinion.
I will take a look at the spelling and the way the earth scene is set up I believe that battle u are given a choice to either fight for go to the rift.
But I will take another look thank you.
Logitech007
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
I know I am supposed to be working on pt 2 of the Red Eclipse series but I am having a little issue with the storyline, so I decided to take a break with it. During so, I came up with a new story idea and will be creating the mission soon(ish).
Where Angels Fear to Tread will be a Federation mission, approximately lvl 45 (I am assuming due to the use of Borg)
The basic storyline is this:
After delivering relief supplies to a newly-established Federation colony you receive an emergency hail from the USS Icarus under attack by Borg spheres. You respond and save the Captain and her crew. Before you can celebrate, however, you suddenly find yourself an a different timeline where the Borg have all but brought mankind to the brink of extinction and have spread their influence throughout the four quadrants. Even more frightening, the Borg have developed advanced stealth tactics, abandoned their drive towards assimilation and are intent on the complete and utter massacre of and any all non-Borg life forms.
There will be multiple dialogue options and outcomes and, if I can swing it, multiple mission endings depending on the choices of the Player.
Potential banner below:
Banner Image Here
Really good mission by Logitech! Might be my favourite one of his. The story is quite intruiging and the maps are great as usual. Theres also a nice plot twist at the end which turns into another cliffhanger.
However theres a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes and characters lack individual personalities (i.e. they all speak the same way). Theres also some technical problems regarding some puzzles and several things that jarr me out of my immersion (including the characters). I list them in the details.
Overall it gets a 3 out of 5. Minuses mainly for for some textual things, tech issues and immersion, big plus for the very interesting story.
Details:
General
I dont understand the use of reach markers before using an interact. For example Talk to bob You have a reach marker at the guy, and when you reach him a Talk to Bob objective appears where you talk to him. You dont need the reach marker.
Prologue
The first sentence you say the Tzenkethi are back twice. Probably an editing error I do this a lot.
Starting location doesnt make sense in regards to the story.
Map - Tzenkethi Mine
You need to move your spawn point, one of my boffs spawned inside something and got stuck
I feel like the fight doesnt make sense. We have all our weapons on us I know theres no way to force a melee fight but it was a wtf this makes no sense
I like this investigation part
IMO the starfleet officers shouldnt have been in teh same room...it felt silly asking everyone where they were when theyre literally right next to the naausicans
Good map
Map - USS Drug
Really cool flashback scene
Maybe give the player something to do, as if they were one of the officers (maybe the captain himself)
Map - Tzenkethi
I never talked to the Romulans or Nausicaans but the dialogue says I did (and they declined to help)
Why did the Tzenkethi help me? I hope this gets explained!
The distraction objective didnt fire at first, I had to walk around in order for it to work. Probably the reach marker is too big
Holy TRIBBLE how did I move the rock???
Map - Restricted Area
I recommend not using Hirogen as they spawn other hirogens via the holo emitter
Puzzle doesnt make sense, would be weird for a console to ask you to input a prime number just to open a forcefield. Something like we can hack this but I need you to help me captain! a bunch of numbers will appear and when they do hit the prime number button!
You did this in the next console puzzle. It has the same numbers though, you should use a different set to make it more interesting.
You left both consoles there too, make the puzzle console disappear and bring in one that has no default text with it.
You have a whole string of consoles to do this puzzle in objectives however they are all active already. You need to bring them in one by one when their objective comes up. I did them all in teh wrong order
Cool map again
Map - Ghoma System
Nice Map
Boom!
THe mines were placesd very 2 dimensionally so they blew up in a line. In space I could have just flown above or below them!
Same issue iwth Hirogen ships, they spawn other hirogen ships (photonic)
Map - Next map (forgot name)
Can skip this map, just pretend to warp to this location from the previous map and have the ships appear. Then you can beam onto the Odyssey skipping a map transition
Map - U.S.S. Odyssey
Lt. Zorbaneq...that name sounds familiar
Uh starfleet made a clone of me? Im pretty sure thats against the rules
Wait were leaving? Did that cool Tzenkethi guy get rescued? Maybe I missed somethign
Map - Unknown Location
Interesting map design. Kind of dangerously prone to failure though (like if someone lags they might fall off and theyre screwed)
Kris Mento guy is interesting
Map - Next Map (forgot name)
omg it was diversion! You did it before Cryptic
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
A more confusing mission than Part Two, and feeling a lot less polished. I felt like there was more huh this doesnt make sense moments for me than in Part two. The story is still pretty interesting though, Im assuming it will end up with a big battle in part four. Final score three out of five.
Details:
General
Lots of typos and spelling and grammar mistakes
Felt really long
Needed to really suspend my disbelief to take some of the mission seriously
Prologue
Starting location makes no sense
The mission says it starts at DS9, so why doesnt it start at DS9
Map - Deep Space
Quick Map but kinda understandable, had to fight your way to DS9. Would have liked to see the DS9 object there though especially since I got into transporter range somehow
Map - Conference Room
The Tzenekthi wasnt a trojan horse he just helped me for some reason
Im goign to a Hirogen facility? I looked over the dialogue twice and it never says Im going to one until the Fleet Admiral tells me its a good idea
Very quick map, walk in talk and leave
Exit dialogue doesnt make sense, I beamed on DS9 and then suddenly Im arriving at the Blii system.
Map - Blii System
This Hirogen just yelled at me but I dont see him
Ok I flew around and saw him but hes sitting at Satellite #2 even though I scanned #3 and it says he appeared in front of me.
Seems kind of silly Im running around a hirogen base, even had a guy yell at me to go away and Im doing whatever I want (scanning stuff, beaming over stuff)
Map - Hirogen Monitor Station
Interesting decorations
Didnt realize there was a 2nd floor, I ran around wondering where teh bad guys were.
The scan cargo containers can be put into one objective (Scan Containers (x/y))
Again the exit dialogue doesnt make sense, Im on the Hirogen base but my officer says were dropping out of warp into the battle
Map - Starbase 375
Unnamed costumes
I need to bring down a field? What field? I feel like there is important things in the story that I am missing, all I know is that Im killing a bunch of Tzenkethi to take the starbase back.
Map - Tzenkethi Dreadnought Vessel
Great detailed map
Boffs didnt follow me through the opening and closing door. What if they are playing multiplayer, the other guys will get locked out
Floating comm panel?
These open/close door objectives seem pointless they dont really add anything
So I basically helped them set up a super weapon? That was kind of dumb we should have figured out what it did before giving it to them
Planet conquering took like 10 seconds, doesnt make sense
Map - Tzenketh
Interesting map but the middle area is kinda empty
Why are two objectives sending me to places where im not supposed to go. If the player wants to explore you should give them the choice but not force them to do it
I get picked up by a fleet but theyre at the Tzkenth homeworld, seems kind of unlikely they could do that
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
Excellent mission by prierin, hes really improved from his first one. There are still a few polish issues remaining but they are few and far between. The tech is quite nice as well as there is a lot of branching things the player can do. The story is very strong as well which kept my interest throughout the mission. One criticism I have is that the boffs and player are forced to be a certain character. Its a tough line to straddle and Ive gotten into this problem before.
Overall though this gets a very well deserved 5 out of 5.
General
I like how the objectives are guided by dialogue
Common mis-spelling Deligate should be delegate. I recommend typing your dialogue in a word processor first for spell checking
Lots of branching objectives
This could make a good Romulan Fed mission
Boffs speak with a lot of colloquialisms which wouldnt fit with an alien boff
Prologue
Mission Grant Dialogue uses the wrong tag. You put [MissionText] instead of [MissionInfo]
Map - Private Room
Hehe Jameson is standing on a chair, looks kinda silly not sure if you meant to do that
Woot I got all the questions right the first time
Short map
Map - Delta Sector #3581-AA
Pretty map
Dodododo
The end animation looked pretty neat
Another quick map though
Map - Station Delta VI
Map is well decorated
the meet ambassadors objectives could have been a complete all (just a note)
Typo: ferengi says holio vid instead of holo vid/ferengi says friendhsips (friendships)
Hmm the Vulcan calls me young, I may or may not be young. More RP prone people may take issue with this (I had no problem)
The Cardassian Ambassador Gen Dummond is still hanging out after the crazy stuff happened
Whoa the override console is pretty well placed, I didnt notice it when I was running around
The second override console sticks into the next room
I thought the way to get to the maintenance console was to do a jumping puzzle, did not realize a reach marker was next to it and got confused for a bit
Map - Forgot name
Scan the bomb interact animation uses a Klingon tricorder
Map - Station Delta VI - Engineering Level
Wrong boff talking to me on the exit map dialogue
I also wanted to explore more
Map - Delta Sector #3581-AA
Wasnt really given direction on map load
A visual indication of the objective components in Search for energy signature would make it less annoying
Map - Warp Space
quick map but interesting idea
Map - The Scion - Personnel Level
After you scan the forcefield he grins from ear to ear. My boff is female
Well done iwth the turbolift
Map - The Scion - Sublevel
Argh the minimap is not very good with maps with different levels, got lost (not your fault)
In my opinion the lock the bad guys behind doors should be an optional thing. if i wanted to blow their heads off I should be allowed to
Aeron the Gray showing up appears too close to the reach marker. When I got in there the pop up came and i wa reading but then I got into a fight. An invisible wall that drops after the dialogue finished would solve this
Oh god I vaporized jameson
Map - Kasse Space
Quick map but understandable
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
AH, thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it. Jameson on a chair... that's new due to the new ESD.... I'll have to move him.
Thanks for your notes... I will get in there and fix them WHEN I CAN... the foundry button on my log-in is greyed out... I can't access it at all atm.
An invisible wall that drops after the dialogue finished would solve this - GREAT idea! I'll implement that.
Oh god I vaporized jameson - LOL so did I a few times...
Again, glad you liked it... had a lit of fun with triggers on this one....
You are the first to pick "facility 4098" prison map and use it in a foundry mission, at least among the missions I've played so far.
The chronoton protected database its really a brilliant trek concept... this could build a solid base for the Starfleet of the far future, the one that uses "Timeships". Good branching dialogue here, btw
.
Nice customisation of the "facility" too. Ha ! That's a BIG nod to Q.Leap !!!
Nice trail of TOS Gideon story... I like this kind of follow up.
1701 enterprise map... Nooo... Riley me not, please !
Nice blind effect...
Enginering deck
It's only by chance that I could nerve pinch that engineer... about the coincidence factor... my fed main character is a Vulcan... so it fitted in perfectly...
Gideon first ground map
pretty much crowded, as it should be I guess... Nice custom maps, albeit I almost choking watching my character literally swimming through people...
Good rooftop scene... but that damned Memoschwackels pulled me off...
And...about Section 31 being involved in any fithy thing happening in ST.. stop it... there must be some other foul souls in Federation that do evil...
in kirk shoes map
there's a typo in the first dialog here.
what...where map
disorienting indeed... good job on the BoP remnant
Good solution to show up the exploding station (the reverse thrust).
You nicely tied up threads on Kirk's part. A nice piece, building greatly on TOS shoulders.
5 stars, and please, DO MORE
Ehm... I just realized that the mission is not on the list at the beginning of this thread... let me know if I have to remove it. However, that mission is way too cool...
There is a phrase going like this"you will need to neutralize the
those weapons before you can procede..." to correct.
Peeling off the enemy warbird was nothing special, and the map
scenery of this space map is quite dull, including the backdrop.
Romulan Orbital station Interior
Very unusual. There is little story,almost no dialog. I have to
defuse some bombs...and to clear it from Tal Shiar troops ? Yes I
had got it from the space map before, but I'll put in some dialog
at the very beginning. Up to you though. And I strongly suggest
proofreading on all the dialogs... good use of a premade map
though, and you manage triggers the right way.
I'm not a great fan of ground combat... however I suggest to put
a respawn point outside the mess hall, coming from the starting
point... died several times and having to reach the hall from the
initial spawning is frustrating to tell the least... more spawn
points please....
Liberate the colony map
Nice map, with some action against tal shiar goons...
Final:
There no story within it, I simply fought against some tal shiar
troops, slightly better than a straight shoot em up...
2 stars...
I exchange my newest mission:
The Claws of Stovokor by helixfungus
It's my first Klingon sided mission...
Any level
Whelp, I lost all of my review notes while playing the mission, but I can list the main things here.
Your biggest strength was your superb map-making skills. You are very good with the tool. I was not sure however, if this was intended to be a serious or comedic mission if not both. This is mainly due in part to dialogue like "OMG" in the middle of it. I also found many typos throughout the story. I suggest going back or having a friend take notes on them for you in a review. In addition, some npcs had default foundry names, I suggest fixing those.
Well done.
4/5 stars.
My new mission.
Scars of the Pride, Part 3:Toxin
Synopsis: It has been two days since the attack on the U.S.S. Simba. With Admiral Taka in a coma, your only hope of catching the raiders was a tracking device planted on the stolen Borg technology by Commander M'Kiara. Now the technology has surfaced on a world deep within Klingon Space. On this forgotten world you will discover the inner-workings of a plot to destroy the federation itself. Report to Deep Space K-7 in the Eta Eridani sector block to rendezvous with the U.S.S. Simba and stop a hidden evil from rising. Level 50+ Fed mission.
Hi Zorbane!
Thanks for the recommendation to submit my mission to this thread! Please see the above review of "A Routine Mission" I left on starfarertheta's thread. It was a very good mission which I highly recommend!
I'd like to submit "Homage to Galris" for review, for everyone's consideration I would like to submit the following:
As the war with the Klingons wages on, you and your gallant crew are called to Risa to investigate an incident aboard the U.S.S. Missouri. The Missouri was escorting the Andorian and Galrisian ambassadors to a trade conference between member and non-member worlds.
All is not as it seems and the future of the Federation depends on your actions. Can you solve the mystery and save the Federation from a threat within its borders?
Mission Name: Homage to Galris
ID: ST-HFAZTV5AX
Author: Joe_King
Language: English
Allegiance: Starfleet
Level: Any
Please leave comments or suggestions on the main thread for Homage to Galris at the following link.
Also feel free to check out some of my other projects at the following link.