Oh oops sorry about that prierin I remember seeing you post your mission and was gonna put it in the list but forgot, its there now!
As for not being able to find the missions did you try looking in the Review Content tab?
I did - in fact, there's where I always start. Tried by searching for 'New' with the titles above and then again by the author... maybe I was doing something wrong or there was a glitch.. I'll try again soon.
Best foundry mission I've played so far. Often forgot it was player-created. Great job! Referred it to my fleetmates!
I enjoyed how we could chose a professional or somewhat less professional approach in our responses LOL
My ONLY complaint is that there is no respawn point on the Borg Cube. Get wiped near the end, have to run back from the beginning. Other than that, absolutely awesome!
Review of Valley of the Shadow II (aka "The Shadow of Death") by NCC-89471
Not much to say, it's a great mission with a great story, great maps you get the picture. Of course I expected nothing less I don't really have much else to say 5/5!
As usual I have my detailed feedback:
Map 1: Drozana VII Space
I assume you wanted the interact objects to be named "Interact: blahblah". Noting it anyways.
When I "Warped out" from the big melee i was no where near the warp streaks lol
Map 2: Nimbus III Surface
After I went to the first source of phase variance I had the wrong boff show up telling me it's moved. It's labeleld Science Officer but I had another one show up instead.
Map 3: Bironex Prime Space
All this sneaking around gives it a good romulan flavour
Map 4: Sweet map
NOTE: I'm playing with a FED character. The next 4 issues may not matter for a Romulan.
Scan building (south) brings upa KDF tricorder
Scan building (west) brings up a KDF tricorder
Scan crates (west) brings up a KDF tricorder
Scan builidng north brings up KDF tricorder
Pretend to inspect crate
Map 6: Mol' Rihan Space
This is a really quick map, chatw ith D'Tan adn the Fed ship and map transition. Could you have snuck it into Map 5 via warping triggers and effects??
Map 8: Mol'Rihan Space
Significant background clipping, not sure waht you can do about it other than change the backdrops
Really fun/interesting investigation (or whatver you wanna call it)
Are you 41 or over? Perfection won't show if you are lower than that. Make sure to type it exactly as labeled. The mission is not in the review section.
Lvl 44 currently - about to hit 45...
I'll try to do another search later... it sounds like the error was on my end.
Update Review of Healing Old Wounds by aleniskendra
This is a much improved update of healing old wounds which had its fair share of problems. The story still remains strong and now there's a lot of very detailed maps brimming with life and optional objectives. I still found issues with quick transitions between maps and thought the combat could have been harder but nonetheless a great update and a well written story. 4/5
Details:
Bajoran Space
Quick map that doesn't add anything to the mission, could this have been replaced by having the player start the mission at Bajor (or at least near it if there is no door)
Bajoran Surface
There's people in the water and they walk around in it! Not sure what you can do with it if they just wander on it.
The forcefield for the temple has the component complete text "Interact" instead of sometihng like "bring down the forcefield" Also I feel it would make more sense if you used the nearby console instead of the forcefiled itself
IMO I shouldn't even be allowed to do this because they're under quarantine! I just killed everyone on the planet!!
Kind of a short map, you go talk to the guy and leave
Deep Space Nine Space
Another short map I flew like 1 second.
I think its canon that Ferengis say Hew-mon instad of HU-man
Deep Space Nine (Station Interior)
Good detail on making the station seem "alive"
Cardassian Space
Some info on how the Ciphers work would be cool, I was hoping the info would explain it.
Quick map, fly to planet read some text and beam down
Cardassia Prime
Very nice map
If you wanted to hide him you oculd make the objective a reach marker instead of a Talk to NPC, this way it won't show up on the minimap.
Cardassian Space
The fight has a very...early Cryptic vibe to it where you get into a "fight" but the fight is just ships sitting therew aiting for you to destroy them. In this case you're being ambushed and to me it'd make more sense ofor the ships to engage the player
The fights were also kind of easy
Mess Hall
Quick map, chat and then map transition
Memory Alpha
I feel like there needs to be more guidance for the player when doing the science part, adn not just *run to this console then the next one*
SickBay
Short map (good detail)
Could you have put this in another room on memory alpha? That would save a map transition
The scenario is this: you arrive at a station, meet with the Admiral who tells you to meet with the dignitaries... after which he gives a speech and BAM! A bad guy beams in and starts messing everything up. I have MOST of this already... however, what I want is for the player to see the bad guy beaming in... I tries to use a dialogue prompt but the system doesn't seem to recognize popups as dialogue... I tried objective complete but the dialogue window is open and you don't see him beam in...
Also, I want an explosion after the bad guy says something but don't want to use a contact... I'd rather use popup dialogue and a prompt but am having a hell of a time figuring it out.
The scenario is this: you arrive at a station, meet with the Admiral who tells you to meet with the dignitaries... after which he gives a speech and BAM! A bad guy beams in and starts messing everything up. I have MOST of this already... however, what I want is for the player to see the bad guy beaming in... I tries to use a dialogue prompt but the system doesn't seem to recognize popups as dialogue... I tried objective complete but the dialogue window is open and you don't see him beam in...
Also, I want an explosion after the bad guy says something but don't want to use a contact... I'd rather use popup dialogue and a prompt but am having a hell of a time figuring it out.
Suggestions?
If you want a bad guy to beam in, have him set to beam in after an objective in the room. I think the easiest way is to use a contact instead of a prompt for the explosion.
I tried that (both suggestions) but didn't get the desired effect... maybe because I was too tired... I'll have another crack at it later..
I know I can set it to appear 'after component completed' and I have tried that, but it still comes in too early.
Here's the details (if it helps): you arrive at the base with orders to meet with the Admiral. You do so and he asks 'have you spoken to the dignitaries yet?' You say no and that starts the second part of this dialogue-rich portion of the mission. You meet with/speak to them and that's all good? now, I have it set that once you have completed that portion the Admiral has a popup that says 'Good. Now take your place on the floor so we can begin.'
You then move to the marked area and the Admiral?s speech begins automatically (popup). Ideally, what I want is at a specific part of this dialogue for the bad guy to beam in, make an evil speech, then all hell breaks loose. The problem I am having with this has to do with using a popup and not a contact dialogue. If I set his appearance to come after the component is reached/completed, he comes in way too early. I'd love to set his appearance to coincide with a specific dialogue prompt, but the foundry system is only allowing me to choose npc contact dialogue and NOT popup dialogue for the trigger. If I set it to an npc dialogue, that means the player would have to actually go up and talk to him again, taking them out of the story somewhat.
I had thought - maybe, if I HAD to, I could have the player interact with an object - say try to scan the bad guy or attempt to contact their own ship for backup, but that seems sloppy to me. I am a neophyte at the foundry so I am sure there is some way to pull off what I am attempting to do, but I can't seem to grasp it atm. I'll keep digging around.. I know Kirkfat is a genius with his triggers, etc. and will try to look at whether or not he's overcome similar issues in the past.
Cheers!
Edit: I think I may have a workaround... I'll place an invisible object in front of the player and have it set to interact with it (tap their commbadge to contact their ship) as a bridge for the events after the popup dialogue... it MAY work... we'll see, I guess...
Initial dialogue with the Admiral: Multiple options are always good.
Hotep system: Optional dialogue and ship names are a nice touch.
U.S.S. Bastion: You get a point for having a Caitian npc . More optional dialogue is always good.
Sibirian: Deja-vu. I do believe you can use the backdrop from the actual STF for this map. It would create a closer recreation.
Starbase 82: I like how you made it super dark and creepy as you went further down. Several tough battles but evenly distributed around.
U.S.S. Bastion: Nothing major to note here.
This was a short but well crafted missions with lots of dialogue variety. It felt like a fun solo-stf on the ground portion of starbase 82. I was kinda hoping there would be a big ambush in the boss room. Regardless, you did a great job! Well done!
I figured it out... sort of. Had a HECK of a time trying to get an entire group of NPCs to beam out on command... spent a considerable amount of time on this particular map.. a lot of details... I am pretty pleased with how it turned out in the end.
I pulled an old trick - I used a distraction to take the player's focus away from the NPCs... when that trick is over, they are all gone... no need to worry about creating multiple NPCs for a beam out effect.
Which brings me to my next point - did you know you could get an error 'map has too many resources' when placoing NPC contacts? I did not. I do now.
So I took a break and finished up a new mission titled "The Improbable Bulk". If some of you guys can play it and give me some feedback on it'd be appreciated, thanks!
So I took a break and finished up a new mission titled "The Improbable Bulk". If some of you guys can play it and give me some feedback on it'd be appreciated, thanks!
Best foundry mission I've played so far. Often forgot it was player-created. Great job! Referred it to my fleetmates!
I enjoyed how we could chose a professional or somewhat less professional approach in our responses LOL
My ONLY complaint is that there is no respawn point on the Borg Cube. Get wiped near the end, have to run back from the beginning. Other than that, absolutely awesome!
5 stars. I'll look for future missions from you.
Thanks for the high praise! Here's hoping that I can only get better.
I thought it had a good story and some interesting characters and situations. There was a decent amount of combat as well. I would recommend it and gave it four stars. With a few adjustments I would give it five.
Now for preirin. This is me being nitpicky. I really liked the mission and I think you have a solid story, but I have some suggestions for improvement and a list of some typos.
There were a few typos and you keep vacillating between using periods in the player?s response and not. Pick whether you want them or not and change them all accordingly. Typos were in the grant mission dialog and when Tok tells you about Lang. Also, it should be a colon after ?standing in their way.? You need to reword the sentence ?We Ferengi receive favorable trade agreements for good of the rebuild industry in exchange.? How about ?agreements in exchange for goods to rebuild their industry?? Or something like that.
The Risa map was a bit boring. You need to add the Risa station and some ships to make it match how it is in game and to make it seem like it is actually the vacation planet of the Federation. Also, it felt like there was little reason to even be in the map. I would add some more dialog or a small task to complete just so it feels like there is a reason for the map. Or just drop the map and change the dialog when entering the Risa System to have you relocate before you enter the map. Too many map transitions can be a hassle. I don?t know about you, but the map transitions for me during Foundry missions take a while.
With the Pride map, I would recommend adding a few more crates or something to the room with the Dabo table. It seems rather empty. Update the dialog when leaving the Pride from ?Go to Next Map?? And make the player?s response more of a statement than an action, such as ?Five to beam up? or ?Beam us directly to the bridge.?
After you leave the Pride and have the option to talk to the Gal Yvesh, don?t make it an option. Use a pop-up dialog to force the player into the conversation. When you respond to the Gul about talking with Tyrel first, his name is misspelled in the player?s response. And drop the CMO in Dienna?s name. Give her a rank like Commander or title like Doctor. They never referred to the doctor?s in Star Trek series as CMO. Also, don?t make here the Chief Medical Officer, players already have a Department Head for Medical in their Duty Officers tab. Make her the medical officer on station at that time or something. ?Medication? is spelled incorrectly when Dienna is trying to ascertain the correct kind. When the player asks Tactical to hail Demond, his name is spelled incorrectly. In the response ?just wanted him dead? drop the second ?just?, it?s repetitive. It should be ?coordinates on the planet?s surface?, not ?of?. There is also a typo in ?aboard or not.?
In the discussion with the two captains, eyewitness is spelled wrong. You need to rename the dead Cardassians. When you are leaving the planet, change the ?Beam to your ship? to a statement by the player, like ?Beam us up.?
When you transport to the Vorek Mor, don?t have the enemies patrolling so closely. I didn?t have time to read the dialog before I was embroiled in battle. The Starfleet ?clones? that you fight need to have their names updated. In fact, many of the NPCs and people you fight need to have their names updated. And you need to change the dialog for the map transition from the doomed Romulan ship.
In the final dialog with Demond he calls you [Cadet], you should probably change that to the rank insert.
Also I wouldn?t abbreviate Tok?s name/rank to Cpt. Spell it out. You also forgot to give the Klingon Commander at the Dabo table a name. And get rid of the ?The?s in the ship names. They don?t need those. We always talk about the Enterprise, but it?s name isn?t The Enterprise it?s just Enterprise.
Last but not least, I think you should explore branching dialogs in some of the conversations. That was great that you inserted the player's response into some of the conversations, but I felt like I was more reading a story than participating in it. Give the player some options when confronting Gul Demond. Give me some options to intimidate or persuade Tok. I think that would add a lot to your mission and make player's feel like they were participating in the story instead of just watching it.
I hope you don't feel my comments are too critical. I really enjoyed it and thought it was a fun mission. I just hope that my suggestions can offer some help in possibly improving this mission before it goes out to the regular Foundry.
I thought it had a good story and some interesting characters and situations. There was a decent amount of combat as well. I would recommend it and gave it four stars. With a few adjustments I would give it five.
Now for preirin. This is me being nitpicky. I really liked the mission and I think you have a solid story, but I have some suggestions for improvement and a list of some typos.
There were a few typos and you keep vacillating between using periods in the player?s response and not. Pick whether you want them or not and change them all accordingly. Typos were in the grant mission dialog and when Tok tells you about Lang. Also, it should be a colon after ?standing in their way.? You need to reword the sentence ?We Ferengi receive favorable trade agreements for good of the rebuild industry in exchange.? How about ?agreements in exchange for goods to rebuild their industry?? Or something like that.
The Risa map was a bit boring. You need to add the Risa station and some ships to make it match how it is in game and to make it seem like it is actually the vacation planet of the Federation. Also, it felt like there was little reason to even be in the map. I would add some more dialog or a small task to complete just so it feels like there is a reason for the map. Or just drop the map and change the dialog when entering the Risa System to have you relocate before you enter the map. Too many map transitions can be a hassle. I don?t know about you, but the map transitions for me during Foundry missions take a while.
With the Pride map, I would recommend adding a few more crates or something to the room with the Dabo table. It seems rather empty. Update the dialog when leaving the Pride from ?Go to Next Map?? And make the player?s response more of a statement than an action, such as ?Five to beam up? or ?Beam us directly to the bridge.?
After you leave the Pride and have the option to talk to the Gal Yvesh, don?t make it an option. Use a pop-up dialog to force the player into the conversation. When you respond to the Gul about talking with Tyrel first, his name is misspelled in the player?s response. And drop the CMO in Dienna?s name. Give her a rank like Commander or title like Doctor. They never referred to the doctor?s in Star Trek series as CMO. Also, don?t make here the Chief Medical Officer, players already have a Department Head for Medical in their Duty Officers tab. Make her the medical officer on station at that time or something. ?Medication? is spelled incorrectly when Dienna is trying to ascertain the correct kind. When the player asks Tactical to hail Demond, his name is spelled incorrectly. In the response ?just wanted him dead? drop the second ?just?, it?s repetitive. It should be ?coordinates on the planet?s surface?, not ?of?. There is also a typo in ?aboard or not.?
In the discussion with the two captains, eyewitness is spelled wrong. You need to rename the dead Cardassians. When you are leaving the planet, change the ?Beam to your ship? to a statement by the player, like ?Beam us up.?
When you transport to the Vorek Mor, don?t have the enemies patrolling so closely. I didn?t have time to read the dialog before I was embroiled in battle. The Starfleet ?clones? that you fight need to have their names updated. In fact, many of the NPCs and people you fight need to have their names updated. And you need to change the dialog for the map transition from the doomed Romulan ship.
In the final dialog with Demond he calls you [Cadet], you should probably change that to the rank insert.
Also I wouldn?t abbreviate Tok?s name/rank to Cpt. Spell it out. You also forgot to give the Klingon Commander at the Dabo table a name. And get rid of the ?The?s in the ship names. They don?t need those. We always talk about the Enterprise, but it?s name isn?t The Enterprise it?s just Enterprise.
Last but not least, I think you should explore branching dialogs in some of the conversations. That was great that you inserted the player's response into some of the conversations, but I felt like I was more reading a story than participating in it. Give the player some options when confronting Gul Demond. Give me some options to intimidate or persuade Tok. I think that would add a lot to your mission and make player's feel like they were participating in the story instead of just watching it.
I hope you don't feel my comments are too critical. I really enjoyed it and thought it was a fun mission. I just hope that my suggestions can offer some help in possibly improving this mission before it goes out to the regular Foundry.
First off, I appreciate everything you've said and want to thank you for not only playing it but giving such a detailed review.
Being my first foundry there are a lot of things I'd do differently knowing what I know now... such as, for me, writing all dialogue in word and pasting it into the foundry. (A spell checker would be AWESOME!). I type fast but tend to get a little dyslexic if not paying incredibly close attention. I noticed the [Cadet] typo and SCOURED for it, but couldn?t find it so assumed it was just a glitch in the foundry play through, but apparently not.
I had fun with The Pride but agree with you 100% to add more crates.
I may go in and remove this one from publication until I can clean it up a little.. it shouldn?t take too long.
A great mission by Ashkrik23, with a strong story and great space maps. The ground maps were really good too although the first one I thought could've had a bit more. The thing impressed me the most was the improvements from the first time I played Perfection Part 1. In the big picture it was the same (heavy combat mission featuring the borg) but everything was simply done better. I noticed Borg Cubes being recostumed as other ships which cause a cube to appear when it gets blown up. I go over this in the detailed section but I can elaborate if you need. Overall - 5/5
Prologue
Hail for mission has typo, space before period. "The Kalferi System is located in the Pi Canis Sector Block ."
Typo/Spelling (First objective) Rendevouz -> Rendezvous
The U.S.S. Simba
Nice populated map, I think some extra flavour conversations would work well here (for example the Widowed Starfleet Officer would have been a perfect spot)
Would have liked some variation in responses when talking to Kovu Scar
Most of the Consoles along the wall are floating (you can see when you look at them from the side)
Kalferi
Nice looking space map (mine always suck)
When the black phantom gets destroyeed it turns into a borg cube (which is what happens to all borg cubes) One way to get around it is to use a different NPC group for the black phantom and other enemies and costume them as borg ships
Cait System
Great space map again
Same issue with exploding borg assimiated atrox "cube"
The Research Facility
Good edits you've done to the map to make it look assimilated
Intense battle at the end
Wasn't a fan of the way my officers trash talked me in the end, it came close to them calling me an idiot (spoilersipickedtheomegamoleculesspoilers)
Cait System, Fate of the Galaxy
ZOMG giant galaxy class ship
The borg were defeated super duper ultra fast i barely did anything (maybe because of my choices)
When you ask teh player which choice they made in the beginning of the map you can use that to control the later dialogues (using dialogue prompt reached) so yo don't need to ask again
Magically appearing cube again when you blow up the last scimitar
So I took a break and finished up a new mission titled "The Improbable Bulk". If some of you guys can play it and give me some feedback on it'd be appreciated, thanks!
Sure. Is my mission on your list of to-do's? Never seemed to get any indication once I posted.
A great mission by Ashkrik23, with a strong story and great space maps. The ground maps were really good too although the first one I thought could've had a bit more. The thing impressed me the most was the improvements from the first time I played Perfection Part 1. In the big picture it was the same (heavy combat mission featuring the borg) but everything was simply done better. I noticed Borg Cubes being recostumed as other ships which cause a cube to appear when it gets blown up. I go over this in the detailed section but I can elaborate if you need. Overall - 5/5
Prologue
Hail for mission has typo, space before period. "The Kalferi System is located in the Pi Canis Sector Block ."
Typo/Spelling (First objective) Rendevouz -> Rendezvous
The U.S.S. Simba
Nice populated map, I think some extra flavour conversations would work well here (for example the Widowed Starfleet Officer would have been a perfect spot)
Would have liked some variation in responses when talking to Kovu Scar
Most of the Consoles along the wall are floating (you can see when you look at them from the side)
Kalferi
Nice looking space map (mine always suck)
When the black phantom gets destroyeed it turns into a borg cube (which is what happens to all borg cubes) One way to get around it is to use a different NPC group for the black phantom and other enemies and costume them as borg ships
Cait System
Great space map again
Same issue with exploding borg assimiated atrox "cube"
The Research Facility
Good edits you've done to the map to make it look assimilated
Intense battle at the end
Wasn't a fan of the way my officers trash talked me in the end, it came close to them calling me an idiot (spoilersipickedtheomegamoleculesspoilers)
Cait System, Fate of the Galaxy
ZOMG giant galaxy class ship
The borg were defeated super duper ultra fast i barely did anything (maybe because of my choices)
When you ask teh player which choice they made in the beginning of the map you can use that to control the later dialogues (using dialogue prompt reached) so yo don't need to ask again
Magically appearing cube again when you blow up the last scimitar
Thank you for playing! On the subject of the cube, that happens whenver you reskin a cube as something. It's a foundry limit, no work-around. The consoles floating on the first map are one of Cryptic's mistakes. The consoles are pre-set on the map so I can't do anything with them.
The work around to the cube thing is to not use borg npc groups but something else, and then reskin them as borg ships. It's much less obvious than having a magic cube appear.
Regarding the consoles it's the consoles on the first map which is a generic one, the ones against the wall that you put (I don't remember the detail object name off the top of my head), they're not flush against the wall so the wall console part looks like it is floating
The work around to the cube thing is to not use borg npc groups but something else, and then reskin them as borg ships. It's much less obvious than having a magic cube appear.
Regarding the consoles it's the consoles on the first map which is a generic one, the ones against the wall that you put (I don't remember the detail object name off the top of my head), they're not flush against the wall so the wall console part looks like it is floating
The consoles on the walls in the first map are already on the map when you make it. You can't touch them.
I'll take a screenshot when I get home from work today, it's the consoles in the big rooms, not the baked in ones in the hallways (I've used this map before)
What's the general consensus on allowing players to actually fail a foundry mission?
My scenario: the players are given a choice to apprehend the bad guy or defuse a bomb, saving the station. If they opt to defuse the bomb I intend on making it a puzzle? fail to interact with the components in the correct order and the bomb blows, everyone dies? this would mean the mission is a failure and the player would have to start over.
So? if YOU we replaying a foundry mission and failed at this, meaning you would have to start over, would that be a good, fun thing for you to feel engaged in the mission or a bad, horrible thing that would feel makes the mission a bad experience and will not play?
I WILL have hints that the bridge officers will offer the player, but I intend to use red herrings as well. i.e. who do you trust when your tactical officer and your engineering officer give you two different suggestions?
I don?t want to make it impossible for the player and will allow for additional hints? maybe have a console nearby that the player can look up a schematic on the torpedo housing used in the bomb, etc.
So ? what say you, community? Is the option to fail really an option at all?
honestly im used to no failure point in STO so I'd probably get annoyed, even though it would make things more interesting. I think most ppl would feel the same way, its just how the game works. It'll also depend how early into the mission this happens, if its in the beginning its not to big deal to start again (beam up re-enter map) but if its after 30-45 minutes play time I don't know if I'd go back in
PS Don't be afraid to make your own thread! Lets keep this one for reviews. Thx
Comments
I did - in fact, there's where I always start. Tried by searching for 'New' with the titles above and then again by the author... maybe I was doing something wrong or there was a glitch.. I'll try again soon.
Thanks!
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
You need to search under top rated.
I enjoyed how we could chose a professional or somewhat less professional approach in our responses LOL
My ONLY complaint is that there is no respawn point on the Borg Cube. Get wiped near the end, have to run back from the beginning. Other than that, absolutely awesome!
5 stars. I'll look for future missions from you.
Not much to say, it's a great mission with a great story, great maps you get the picture. Of course I expected nothing less
As usual I have my detailed feedback:
Map 1: Drozana VII Space
I assume you wanted the interact objects to be named "Interact: blahblah". Noting it anyways.
When I "Warped out" from the big melee i was no where near the warp streaks lol
Map 2: Nimbus III Surface
After I went to the first source of phase variance I had the wrong boff show up telling me it's moved. It's labeleld Science Officer but I had another one show up instead.
Map 3: Bironex Prime Space
All this sneaking around gives it a good romulan flavour
Map 4: Sweet map
NOTE: I'm playing with a FED character. The next 4 issues may not matter for a Romulan.
Scan building (south) brings upa KDF tricorder
Scan building (west) brings up a KDF tricorder
Scan crates (west) brings up a KDF tricorder
Scan builidng north brings up KDF tricorder
Pretend to inspect crate
Map 6: Mol' Rihan Space
This is a really quick map, chatw ith D'Tan adn the Fed ship and map transition. Could you have snuck it into Map 5 via warping triggers and effects??
Map 8: Mol'Rihan Space
Significant background clipping, not sure waht you can do about it other than change the backdrops
Really fun/interesting investigation (or whatver you wanna call it)
ACK TO BE CONTINUED
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx22/Zaqal/AmicusApparatus.jpg
Title: Amicus Apparatus
Faction: FED
Level: 50+
Thanks for the opportunity and hope you guys dig it.
Lvl 44 currently - about to hit 45...
I'll try to do another search later... it sounds like the error was on my end.
This is a much improved update of healing old wounds which had its fair share of problems. The story still remains strong and now there's a lot of very detailed maps brimming with life and optional objectives. I still found issues with quick transitions between maps and thought the combat could have been harder but nonetheless a great update and a well written story. 4/5
Details:
Bajoran Space
Quick map that doesn't add anything to the mission, could this have been replaced by having the player start the mission at Bajor (or at least near it if there is no door)
Bajoran Surface
There's people in the water and they walk around in it! Not sure what you can do with it if they just wander on it.
The forcefield for the temple has the component complete text "Interact" instead of sometihng like "bring down the forcefield" Also I feel it would make more sense if you used the nearby console instead of the forcefiled itself
IMO I shouldn't even be allowed to do this because they're under quarantine! I just killed everyone on the planet!!
Kind of a short map, you go talk to the guy and leave
Deep Space Nine Space
Another short map I flew like 1 second.
I think its canon that Ferengis say Hew-mon instad of HU-man
Deep Space Nine (Station Interior)
Good detail on making the station seem "alive"
Cardassian Space
Some info on how the Ciphers work would be cool, I was hoping the info would explain it.
Quick map, fly to planet read some text and beam down
Cardassia Prime
Very nice map
If you wanted to hide him you oculd make the objective a reach marker instead of a Talk to NPC, this way it won't show up on the minimap.
Cardassian Space
The fight has a very...early Cryptic vibe to it where you get into a "fight" but the fight is just ships sitting therew aiting for you to destroy them. In this case you're being ambushed and to me it'd make more sense ofor the ships to engage the player
The fights were also kind of easy
Mess Hall
Quick map, chat and then map transition
Memory Alpha
I feel like there needs to be more guidance for the player when doing the science part, adn not just *run to this console then the next one*
SickBay
Short map (good detail)
Could you have put this in another room on memory alpha? That would save a map transition
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
All right.
The scenario is this: you arrive at a station, meet with the Admiral who tells you to meet with the dignitaries... after which he gives a speech and BAM! A bad guy beams in and starts messing everything up. I have MOST of this already... however, what I want is for the player to see the bad guy beaming in... I tries to use a dialogue prompt but the system doesn't seem to recognize popups as dialogue... I tried objective complete but the dialogue window is open and you don't see him beam in...
Also, I want an explosion after the bad guy says something but don't want to use a contact... I'd rather use popup dialogue and a prompt but am having a hell of a time figuring it out.
Suggestions?
If you want a bad guy to beam in, have him set to beam in after an objective in the room. I think the easiest way is to use a contact instead of a prompt for the explosion.
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
I know I can set it to appear 'after component completed' and I have tried that, but it still comes in too early.
Here's the details (if it helps): you arrive at the base with orders to meet with the Admiral. You do so and he asks 'have you spoken to the dignitaries yet?' You say no and that starts the second part of this dialogue-rich portion of the mission. You meet with/speak to them and that's all good? now, I have it set that once you have completed that portion the Admiral has a popup that says 'Good. Now take your place on the floor so we can begin.'
You then move to the marked area and the Admiral?s speech begins automatically (popup). Ideally, what I want is at a specific part of this dialogue for the bad guy to beam in, make an evil speech, then all hell breaks loose. The problem I am having with this has to do with using a popup and not a contact dialogue. If I set his appearance to come after the component is reached/completed, he comes in way too early. I'd love to set his appearance to coincide with a specific dialogue prompt, but the foundry system is only allowing me to choose npc contact dialogue and NOT popup dialogue for the trigger. If I set it to an npc dialogue, that means the player would have to actually go up and talk to him again, taking them out of the story somewhat.
I had thought - maybe, if I HAD to, I could have the player interact with an object - say try to scan the bad guy or attempt to contact their own ship for backup, but that seems sloppy to me. I am a neophyte at the foundry so I am sure there is some way to pull off what I am attempting to do, but I can't seem to grasp it atm. I'll keep digging around.. I know Kirkfat is a genius with his triggers, etc. and will try to look at whether or not he's overcome similar issues in the past.
Cheers!
Edit: I think I may have a workaround... I'll place an invisible object in front of the player and have it set to interact with it (tap their commbadge to contact their ship) as a bridge for the events after the popup dialogue... it MAY work... we'll see, I guess...
I reviewed Wildkazoo's mission, "Foothold" in my review thread and wanted to post it here as well.
Foothold by @Wildkazoo
Foothold review.
Initial dialogue with the Admiral: Multiple options are always good.
Hotep system: Optional dialogue and ship names are a nice touch.
U.S.S. Bastion: You get a point for having a Caitian npc
Sibirian: Deja-vu. I do believe you can use the backdrop from the actual STF for this map. It would create a closer recreation.
Starbase 82: I like how you made it super dark and creepy as you went further down. Several tough battles but evenly distributed around.
U.S.S. Bastion: Nothing major to note here.
This was a short but well crafted missions with lots of dialogue variety. It felt like a fun solo-stf on the ground portion of starbase 82. I was kinda hoping there would be a big ambush in the boss room. Regardless, you did a great job! Well done!
I pulled an old trick - I used a distraction to take the player's focus away from the NPCs... when that trick is over, they are all gone... no need to worry about creating multiple NPCs for a beam out effect.
Which brings me to my next point - did you know you could get an error 'map has too many resources' when placoing NPC contacts? I did not. I do now.
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
I'll put it on my to-do list for this weekend!
Thanks for the high praise! Here's hoping that I can only get better.
I thought it had a good story and some interesting characters and situations. There was a decent amount of combat as well. I would recommend it and gave it four stars. With a few adjustments I would give it five.
Now for preirin. This is me being nitpicky. I really liked the mission and I think you have a solid story, but I have some suggestions for improvement and a list of some typos.
There were a few typos and you keep vacillating between using periods in the player?s response and not. Pick whether you want them or not and change them all accordingly. Typos were in the grant mission dialog and when Tok tells you about Lang. Also, it should be a colon after ?standing in their way.? You need to reword the sentence ?We Ferengi receive favorable trade agreements for good of the rebuild industry in exchange.? How about ?agreements in exchange for goods to rebuild their industry?? Or something like that.
The Risa map was a bit boring. You need to add the Risa station and some ships to make it match how it is in game and to make it seem like it is actually the vacation planet of the Federation. Also, it felt like there was little reason to even be in the map. I would add some more dialog or a small task to complete just so it feels like there is a reason for the map. Or just drop the map and change the dialog when entering the Risa System to have you relocate before you enter the map. Too many map transitions can be a hassle. I don?t know about you, but the map transitions for me during Foundry missions take a while.
With the Pride map, I would recommend adding a few more crates or something to the room with the Dabo table. It seems rather empty. Update the dialog when leaving the Pride from ?Go to Next Map?? And make the player?s response more of a statement than an action, such as ?Five to beam up? or ?Beam us directly to the bridge.?
After you leave the Pride and have the option to talk to the Gal Yvesh, don?t make it an option. Use a pop-up dialog to force the player into the conversation. When you respond to the Gul about talking with Tyrel first, his name is misspelled in the player?s response. And drop the CMO in Dienna?s name. Give her a rank like Commander or title like Doctor. They never referred to the doctor?s in Star Trek series as CMO. Also, don?t make here the Chief Medical Officer, players already have a Department Head for Medical in their Duty Officers tab. Make her the medical officer on station at that time or something. ?Medication? is spelled incorrectly when Dienna is trying to ascertain the correct kind. When the player asks Tactical to hail Demond, his name is spelled incorrectly. In the response ?just wanted him dead? drop the second ?just?, it?s repetitive. It should be ?coordinates on the planet?s surface?, not ?of?. There is also a typo in ?aboard or not.?
In the discussion with the two captains, eyewitness is spelled wrong. You need to rename the dead Cardassians. When you are leaving the planet, change the ?Beam to your ship? to a statement by the player, like ?Beam us up.?
When you transport to the Vorek Mor, don?t have the enemies patrolling so closely. I didn?t have time to read the dialog before I was embroiled in battle. The Starfleet ?clones? that you fight need to have their names updated. In fact, many of the NPCs and people you fight need to have their names updated. And you need to change the dialog for the map transition from the doomed Romulan ship.
In the final dialog with Demond he calls you [Cadet], you should probably change that to the rank insert.
Also I wouldn?t abbreviate Tok?s name/rank to Cpt. Spell it out. You also forgot to give the Klingon Commander at the Dabo table a name. And get rid of the ?The?s in the ship names. They don?t need those. We always talk about the Enterprise, but it?s name isn?t The Enterprise it?s just Enterprise.
Last but not least, I think you should explore branching dialogs in some of the conversations. That was great that you inserted the player's response into some of the conversations, but I felt like I was more reading a story than participating in it. Give the player some options when confronting Gul Demond. Give me some options to intimidate or persuade Tok. I think that would add a lot to your mission and make player's feel like they were participating in the story instead of just watching it.
I hope you don't feel my comments are too critical. I really enjoyed it and thought it was a fun mission. I just hope that my suggestions can offer some help in possibly improving this mission before it goes out to the regular Foundry.
First off, I appreciate everything you've said and want to thank you for not only playing it but giving such a detailed review.
Being my first foundry there are a lot of things I'd do differently knowing what I know now... such as, for me, writing all dialogue in word and pasting it into the foundry. (A spell checker would be AWESOME!). I type fast but tend to get a little dyslexic if not paying incredibly close attention. I noticed the [Cadet] typo and SCOURED for it, but couldn?t find it so assumed it was just a glitch in the foundry play through, but apparently not.
I had fun with The Pride but agree with you 100% to add more crates.
I may go in and remove this one from publication until I can clean it up a little.. it shouldn?t take too long.
Again, thank for your feedback!
A great mission by Ashkrik23, with a strong story and great space maps. The ground maps were really good too although the first one I thought could've had a bit more. The thing impressed me the most was the improvements from the first time I played Perfection Part 1. In the big picture it was the same (heavy combat mission featuring the borg) but everything was simply done better. I noticed Borg Cubes being recostumed as other ships which cause a cube to appear when it gets blown up. I go over this in the detailed section but I can elaborate if you need. Overall - 5/5
Prologue
Hail for mission has typo, space before period. "The Kalferi System is located in the Pi Canis Sector Block ."
Typo/Spelling (First objective) Rendevouz -> Rendezvous
The U.S.S. Simba
Nice populated map, I think some extra flavour conversations would work well here (for example the Widowed Starfleet Officer would have been a perfect spot)
Would have liked some variation in responses when talking to Kovu Scar
Most of the Consoles along the wall are floating (you can see when you look at them from the side)
Kalferi
Nice looking space map (mine always suck)
When the black phantom gets destroyeed it turns into a borg cube (which is what happens to all borg cubes) One way to get around it is to use a different NPC group for the black phantom and other enemies and costume them as borg ships
Cait System
Great space map again
Same issue with exploding borg assimiated atrox "cube"
The Research Facility
Good edits you've done to the map to make it look assimilated
Intense battle at the end
Wasn't a fan of the way my officers trash talked me in the end, it came close to them calling me an idiot (spoilersipickedtheomegamoleculesspoilers)
Cait System, Fate of the Galaxy
ZOMG giant galaxy class ship
The borg were defeated super duper ultra fast i barely did anything (maybe because of my choices)
When you ask teh player which choice they made in the beginning of the map you can use that to control the later dialogues (using dialogue prompt reached) so yo don't need to ask again
Magically appearing cube again when you blow up the last scimitar
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
Sure. Is my mission on your list of to-do's? Never seemed to get any indication once I posted.
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
Regarding the consoles it's the consoles on the first map which is a generic one, the ones against the wall that you put (I don't remember the detail object name off the top of my head), they're not flush against the wall so the wall console part looks like it is floating
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
The consoles on the walls in the first map are already on the map when you make it. You can't touch them.
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
My scenario: the players are given a choice to apprehend the bad guy or defuse a bomb, saving the station. If they opt to defuse the bomb I intend on making it a puzzle? fail to interact with the components in the correct order and the bomb blows, everyone dies? this would mean the mission is a failure and the player would have to start over.
So? if YOU we replaying a foundry mission and failed at this, meaning you would have to start over, would that be a good, fun thing for you to feel engaged in the mission or a bad, horrible thing that would feel makes the mission a bad experience and will not play?
I WILL have hints that the bridge officers will offer the player, but I intend to use red herrings as well. i.e. who do you trust when your tactical officer and your engineering officer give you two different suggestions?
I don?t want to make it impossible for the player and will allow for additional hints? maybe have a console nearby that the player can look up a schematic on the torpedo housing used in the bomb, etc.
So ? what say you, community? Is the option to fail really an option at all?
PS Don't be afraid to make your own thread! Lets keep this one for reviews. Thx
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan