The Federation is reaching its limits. Every day dozens of ships are destroyed and thousands of brave men and women are killed in the line of duty. Ships can be replaced but not Starfleets finest. Somehow Starfleet has been able to keep up the influx of personnel and shortages are rarely reported.
No one has found a need to question Starfleets surprising efficiency, but for one Starfleet officer, a malfunction at a medical starbase could provide the unwanted answer.
Review of "Return to Oblivion"
I understand the story zorbane is trying to hint at, but I do wish the hints could be clearer. For most of the story after I woke up in the medical center, the first working hypothesis I had was some kind of time travel scenario where my crew and me had been moved into some unknown future. I only managed to piece the evidence together after I had completed the whole foundry mission and had time to think things through.
Beyond the storyline, there were a few sentences that could be made better.
After beaming an away team to the sensor array for the first time, the away team leader said this sentence, "It looks like the array is almost done construction, but right now it's completely abandoned." It may be better to restructure the sentence into something like... "The array is completely abandoned, but it looks nearly complete."
Another bad sentence I found was this, "[TRUTH] Tell her has severe injuries and will die".
Also, the end credits had an "/OOC]", I guess there was originally supposed to be an [OOC] tag but it was only partially removed?
I intended for it to be vague. I guess if it had you wondering about it for a while it did it's job. If more people comment about it being too confusing I'll look into putting more clues.
A couple of missions to add to the list! Parts One and Two of my series, A Quiet Rebellion! Thanks to anyone who plays and hope you like them!
---
Mission Name: A Message From Nowhere
Author: SerpentineOne
Project ID: ST-HF862NNJ5
Faction: Federation Starting Point: Wall panel in front of Transporter room on Earth Space Dock.
Level Requirement: Can be played from Level 1.
Runtime: 20 to 30 minutes.
Mission Summary:
Starfleet Intelligence has received a message from a location inside of Klingon space. It was heavily encrypted, but with no known origin.
What does it mean? How important is it? And who could have sent it?
Good seed of a story and fun maps. Enjoyed where you were going to go with it. The battles in the latter part of the mission, the ground maps, started to feel a little redundant with the sheer amount of ground fighting, but, in all, solid mission.
Nothing really sticks out. Challenging space battles. Those were pretty great fun.
Can't really think of any more to say besides that. Nicely done.
Good seed of a story and fun maps. Enjoyed where you were going to go with it. The battles in the latter part of the mission, the ground maps, started to feel a little redundant with the sheer amount of ground fighting, but, in all, solid mission.
Nothing really sticks out. Challenging space battles. Those were pretty great fun.
Can't really think of any more to say besides that. Nicely done.
Thank you for playing! I hope you will enjoy part 2 just as much if not more!
Thank you for playing! I hope you will enjoy part 2 just as much if not more!
No problem! Good to get playing some Foundry missions again.
I actually tossed my two up in your thread as well before realizing that I was playing your mission. *chuckles* Hope you like them in return, if you get time to play around in them. hehe
General: Dialogs need serious proofreading, and the storyline is
thin and should be enhanced somehow
Ohniaka system: a good looking space map for sure... a short one
too
Ohniaka III surface.. again a good looking exterior map...
Mugatos and Mastiffs are more annoyance than fun...
the scanning for nanites thing is frankly overlong and boring...
Ohniaka space II ... a little fun with space combat... nothing
major though...
Try to use invisible object for interact instead of the reach
markers... in space they are unpredictable... I had to pass 4
times over it to activate the trigger to dialog
Its unclear the point of origin of Cole Collodi transmission yet
a KDF officer could not help but wonder if there is some (so to
speak) cloaked ship nearby ? You make the player accept the thing
without further considerations... mmh
durvan IV space map- a borg map...finally you begin to put some
meat to the story, rather thin so far...
interior rogue borg colony - You may want to put a warning at the
grant dialog saying that a phase modulator has to be equipped
cause there are Borg troops in some map.
durvan space map - activate transwarp gate - the shortest map
ever, point to the gate, go towards it, activate, done
borg space map - again a pattern of search and repeat... only
this time in space... you should add some meaty dialog, cause as
is, is mainly boring
borg unimatrix - interior borg combat one, pretty much like the
previous one.. a bit of variance on the map structure would
help. However this is the funnier part of the whole mission. Said
that I must admit that I love to fight against the Borg troops
escape map - again, a rather short one... apart for the borg cube
ripping...
final map - I would rather have choice on accept or not Collodi
friendship... my Klingon character would have not, btw
Two stars with this one.
I offer one of mine for the trade,
A review of Amicus Apparatus, a foundry mission by @kortaag.
General Review:
This mission was quite the experience. The story felt very much like a Star Trek adventure, and that was woven fluidly with the gameplay to deliver a great experience. Also, your use of dialogue triggers added that much more to the mission.
The parkour segment was especially fun, although very difficult. I guess the difficulty is what makes it fun (for me anyway). It was a refreshing experience.
For the Author:
The dialogue was well written with only two things that I noticed:
"I starting to understand..." To make this flow better replace the I with "I'm" or add a "am."
"Chamber" is misspelled in one of the dialogues after the parkour segment.
Aside from those, you did an awsome job of making this mission kortaag!
End of Review
________________________________________________
Here is a mission that I would like to see reviews on:
Synopsis:
Memory Alpha has been detecting some unusual readings from a nebula located somewhere in the Delta Volanis Cluster. They have requested a Starfleet vessel to investigate, and Stafleet has chosen you.
From the outset, this seems like a routine, single-ship mission. A nice break from the constant struggles that currently plague the Federation. That is, until you begin unlocking the nebula's secrets...
@Starfarertheta: I added your first misison to the list, but for each mission you will need to add a new review.
In thread related news I have removed the review count from the list. It was initially there to encourage people to try missions that didn't have any reviews yet but it seems like the opposite has happened and people were attracted to ones with more reviews.
A great mission by Ashkrik. Its extremely well polished and the map work is really well done. The only issues I had was that there was a lot of background story and characters that I dont remmeber (itd been a while since I played) and the prop that was used as the turbolift. I would have liked a remind me what happened again? button early in the mission and preferred the use of the Starfleet Turbolift prop. You can easily place it in a corner of the room or used one that was built into the map. Five out of five stars.
Details:
Map - U.S.S. Simba Research Level
Great work modifying the default map
Map - Engineering
Boff got stuck on the fallen ceiling piece
Psychic Ferasans! (dunno if you meant for that to happen)
Good mission which is mostly story focused but there some heavy space combat so be ready! Its quite well polished and also has some nice map work. I did find several thigns that did bother me though, mostly quick maps or objectives that didnt fit or make sense to me. I listed those in the details. Also I felt like the story was kind of all over the place and difficult to follow. There was also a section that promoted torture that I didnt feel comfortable with. Overall I gave it three out of five stars.
Map - U.S.S. Hood Deck One
Hard to see where the Download the information. Suggest using an isolinear chip (or something small) embedded in the console so you can see what you are supposed to click
Map - Mec System
Would have liked some more information on the ships that I scanned not just ok scan is done
Map - U.S.S. Yoga Bridge
Timing is off for hte explosions. After I download it the explosions happen but my Science officer is telling me the download is complete. Then after that do they talk about being under attack.
Kind of a quick map I just talked and had one objective
Map - Mec System
Short map again (shoot some stuff)
Map - Starbase 375 Deck Two
Why is Kris Mento helping me?
Map - Surplus Depot Z15
Ok I found out some suspicious people showed up and I fought them but who are they? Am I not even going to try and scan them? Kind of confusing
Map - Unknown Classified System
Zero objective map, fly there and its over.
I dont get why Im supposed to follow the ships too
Map - 41261
Weird map effect makes everything look low res
Nice hanging Klingon
The Talk to a visitor objectives would fit more as optional ones
Also hard to find who Im supposed to talk to
Building is textureless and kinda looks boring (not sure what can be done about it though)
Should give the player option to say that torture is not ok. I dont think any star fleet officer would actually say torture is good.
Map - Planets Surface
Cool secret passage
Would have liked some feedback for when I discovered the secret room. Instad it appears and nothing else happens.
I dont understand why I would shoot the building while Im in it just to prove something Kris Mento...why wouldnt I just walk outside and then blow it up? Or get beamed up before???
Also it seems like I blow the building up anyways? I personally would have sent in a team to secure it and explore it
Map - Tzenkethi Battleship
Scan the cargo can be a multiple component objective
Same with the Computer console one. Also they all have the same dialogue which is boring and looks lazy
Good detail on this map
Nice cliff hanger ending
In thread related news I have removed the review count from the list. It was initially there to encourage people to try missions that didn't have any reviews yet but it seems like the opposite has happened and people were attracted to ones with more reviews.
I appreciate this detail from you, that you want this thread balanced
LOL Personally I was actually into "play the lesser played thing" based on the lowest number, but I admit I did choose too on how the title sounded and... well frankly from other players feedback especially yours Zorbie... want to eliminate your reviews as well ?
Just a mere thought of mine... justice as anything has been invented by someone, i.e. the ancient romans, before the very concept of law was very vague... I always objected to people relying too much at least conceptionally on justice with that, adding that ancient romans had slavery and brutal corporal punishments too... final thought, maybe sometimes let something have its flaws
BTW. God (choose the one u want) Bless This Thread
A review of The Rise of the Red Eclipse, a foundry mission by @prierin.
General:
This one was enjoyable, especially the story which was well thought out. Great villain and a good. The trivia segment was fun. The combat was challenging in places and the there was some good trigger work. It does need a little more polishing in some places, but overall I think that story lovers will get a kick out of this one.
For the Author:
Notes:
- This didn't bother me, but some may not like having a bridge be passed off as one of theirs. Doesn't really matter once in the ready room as that seems to be largely the same on all ships.
- Periods should be added to some of the response dialogue as some people tend to be jarred by missing periods.
- "He grins from ear to ear," it probably best to not assume that the player's boff is a male.
- Sometimes when an away team member speaks, the image of the ship boff appears.
Despite these, I thought you did a great job making this mission, the story in particular.
Synopsis:
Once again the Federation finds itself under the looming spectre of yet another Borg invasion. Since problems almost never come alone, a situation has arisen that requires your special attention:
An unusual artifact was discovered in a planetoid system near the Breshar System by the U.S.S. Audentia, commanded by Admiral Atalanta. It has been some time since Starfleet's last communication with the Audentia and there are reports of increasing pirate activity near that system. You are therefore requested by Admiral Gautier to investigate.
A review of The Rise of the Red Eclipse, a foundry mission by @prierin.
General:
This one was enjoyable, especially the story which was well thought out. Great villain and a good. The trivia segment was fun. The combat was challenging in places and the there was some good trigger work. It does need a little more polishing in some places, but overall I think that story lovers will get a kick out of this one.
For the Author:
Notes:
- This didn't bother me, but some may not like having a bridge be passed off as one of theirs. Doesn't really matter once in the ready room as that seems to be largely the same on all ships.
- Periods should be added to some of the response dialogue as some people tend to be jarred by missing periods.
- "He grins from ear to ear," it probably best to not assume that the player's boff is a male.
- Sometimes when an away team member speaks, the image of the ship boff appears.
Despite these, I thought you did a great job making this mission, the story in particular.
End of Review.
First off, thanks for the review and the praise! I've been enjoying reading the reviews thus far - very encouraging to continue on with the next segment.
Now... for your points....
- Bridge. I wish there was a way to have the system somehow automatically pop up with the player's bridge of choice, but there isn't... and it didn't make sense to me to have them beam directly into the ready room.... so this one, sadly, I think has to stay unless more people complain. So far no one has so, fingers crossed. LOL
- Periods. I don't know why i seme to hate ending a sentence with an actual period... I'll go back and see if I can add them...
- Pronoun issues. This, sadly, is a huge issue I've been trying desperately to overcome. I try to avoid pronouns for player NPCs for this very reason, but when I am writing I sometimes get carried away with the story that I forget these aren't "my" characters. I am trying to get better with either using "their" as a pronoun or, better, avoiding it all together....
- I know there is one spot in particular where the ship's tactical officer speaks when it should be the away teams... I've been meaning to go back in and correct that. I have a long (Easter) weekend coming up and hopefully will be able to fix it then.
Im glad you enjoyed the story and will look forward to checking out your mission in the near future!
A Review of Ghost in the Machine, a Foundry Mission by @helixfungus.
General:
I thought the story was fun in this one, and the humor was a nice touch. I liked the premise to the whole thing, had my interest almost as soon as it started. Map work was great, as well as the trigger work. The one thing that could make this mission a really, really good one is some polishing and revamping of the dialogue (see notes below). There were also times when more explanation of what was going on would have been helpful. Overall, this mission I thought this mission was rather fun.
For the Author: Notes:
- Some suggestions on how the dialogue could improve:
1 - Instead of "to my tricorder we are..." could be rewritten as "according to my tricorder, we are..."
2 - "Have you migranes ?" could be rewritten as: "Do you have any migrains?"
3 - This "I didn't detect the slightest lifesign,..." could be "I'm not detecting the slightest lifesign,"
These are just suggestions as you can write anything you want.
- There are also unnecessary spaces between words and periods/exclamation marks.
- Alpha Margoulis: Some of the planets are already visible before dropping out of warp.
Aside from these things, nicely done @helixfungus.
Synopsis:
A dangerous particle, a Section 31 agent in possession of one, and a conduit that is the catalyst to it all. All of which is happening under the shadow of an impending Borg invasion.
The investigation of three ship wreckages is your only bid to find anything that can help you hunt down the Section 31 agent before he unleashes whatever he is planning.
Be forewarned, there are others taking part in the hunt...
@prierin:
I see what you mean on all points, especially when it comes to the dialogue. It seems like it is the dialogue that takes the most time to examine and polish when building missions. Good luck with your next mission though!
Took me some time to find a mission on the list that had less then 10 reviews and was done by an author who I hadn't reviewed a mission for yet.
A Review of The Dogs of War, a foundry mission by pbau3993.
First off, this was solidly built with no technical problems as far as I can see. The combat was simple, yet done well. As for the story, the premise for the story is interesting, but I feel that there could have been a neutral path that the player could have played through. Or at least, add some more justifications, like presenting a more dire war situation, for why the player has to do what they have to do. I thought that the Roman references was interesting. In all, this was well made with no technical issues as far as I could see.
For the Author:
Notes:
- nice city, although more object like potted plants or other things of that nature could add a lot ot the city's atmopshere.
- When consulting with my officers, only their ship board versions appeared in the dialogue
boxes. If this was intended you may want to add a note that having the rest
of the away team beaming down is not necessary.
- Typo list:
1. "are weapons are better..."
During the final dialogue:
2. "I loook forward to...."
End of Review.
___________________________________________________________
The last mission in my series that I would appreciate reviews on.
The Unsung Mission - Maelstrom -
Author: starfarertheta ID: ST-HST5R3A34 Faction: Federation Level Requirement: 41+ Length: 30 - 60 minutes. Features: - Story, - Branching Dialogue, - Large Scale Space and Ground Battles, - Bonus Objectives.
Synopsis:
In the midst of a Borg invasion, chaos erupts in the Badlands as a task force from multiple factions clash for control over the conduit.
In the midst of this chaos, you must infiltrate the rogue Section 31 agent's base of operations in order to stop him, or anyone else from unleashing a plan of insanity, and you do not have much time.
Before that, however, you must deal with an impromptu situation courtesy of a sabotuer...
A Review of Ghost in the Machine, a Foundry Mission by @helixfungus.
General:
I thought the story was fun in this one, and the humor was a nice touch. I liked the premise to the whole thing, had my interest almost as soon as it started. Map work was great, as well as the trigger work. The one thing that could make this mission a really, really good one is some polishing and revamping of the dialogue (see notes below). [See edit note below]. There were also times when more explanation of what was going on would have been helpful. Overall, this mission I thought this mission was rather fun.
For the Author: Notes:
- Some suggestions on how the dialogue could improve:
1 - Instead of "to my tricorder we are..." could be rewritten as "according to my tricorder, we are..."
2 - "Have you migranes ?" could be rewritten as: "Do you have any migrains?"
3 - This "I didn't detect the slightest lifesign,..." could be "I'm not detecting the slightest lifesign,"
These are just suggestions as you can write anything you want.
- There are also unnecessary spaces between words and periods/exclamation marks.
- Alpha Margoulis: Some of the planets are already visible before dropping out of warp.
Aside from these things, nicely done @helixfungus.
End of Review.
Edit: Looking through this thread, I found out that helixfungus isn't a native english speaker. So in that light, any references to it in my review have been darkened to signify that they are something the author shouldn't lose sleep over.
On the contrary, anything you note about dialog and grammar helps me polishing further the mission, so, don't push back anything, please !
Thanks for the trade, I will play some of yours ASAP...
I am currently working on my first klingon sided mission, and for that I am using a simple yet powerful grammar check tool, one that I advice to all non english speakers doing Foundries: an Android powered cell phone, and the powerful translation tool by google available by Play Store... it was under my proverbial nose all this time, folks....
On the contrary, anything you note about dialog and grammar helps me polishing further the mission, so, don't push back anything, please !
Thanks for the trade, I will play some of yours ASAP...
.
Oh, glad I could help then. I wasn't sure if I was being overly critical or not.
Initial nebula map is good looking... I like your style with
dialogs too... multiple choices, branching and so on,
borg interior...spooky place, scary customisation, apart that...
maybe if you don't won't write in advance that I will not have any opponents
at all, you will raise more tension...
Good care of triggers too.
Side thought ...does anyone hate flames that don't burn, like me
? Same for electric charges, explosions and so on.... this would
be a solid enhancement to our doing, fellow Foundrists !!
you may want to change "information recieved"
finish exploring etc map... cool glowing lava rock on the borg facility, and the misterious encounter with the "Penumbra" captain... you delivered as promised, not an inch of fighting in the mission...
final considerations:
Although I miss fighting enemies, I admire the writer who wants to put aside them for exploration and dialogs... said that I would have more to explore and see...for the dialog part, I found it to be very accurate, but sometimes I got lost with all the possibly answers. Rather enjoyable - I gave 3 stars to it.
Comments
Some peeps here have already played it and commented how the ending was a bit lackluster so it includes a revamp of the final map.
Estimated length: 30 minutes
http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?p=16117271#post16117271
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
I understand the story zorbane is trying to hint at, but I do wish the hints could be clearer. For most of the story after I woke up in the medical center, the first working hypothesis I had was some kind of time travel scenario where my crew and me had been moved into some unknown future. I only managed to piece the evidence together after I had completed the whole foundry mission and had time to think things through.
Beyond the storyline, there were a few sentences that could be made better.
After beaming an away team to the sensor array for the first time, the away team leader said this sentence, "It looks like the array is almost done construction, but right now it's completely abandoned." It may be better to restructure the sentence into something like... "The array is completely abandoned, but it looks nearly complete."
Another bad sentence I found was this, "[TRUTH] Tell her has severe injuries and will die".
Also, the end credits had an "/OOC]", I guess there was originally supposed to be an [OOC] tag but it was only partially removed?
I intended for it to be vague. I guess if it had you wondering about it for a while it did it's job. If more people comment about it being too confusing I'll look into putting more clues.
As for the textual errors I fixed them up thanks!
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
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Mission Name: A Message From Nowhere
Author: SerpentineOne
Project ID: ST-HF862NNJ5
Faction: Federation
Starting Point: Wall panel in front of Transporter room on Earth Space Dock.
Level Requirement: Can be played from Level 1.
Runtime: 20 to 30 minutes.
Mission Summary:
Starfleet Intelligence has received a message from a location inside of Klingon space. It was heavily encrypted, but with no known origin.
What does it mean? How important is it? And who could have sent it?
Starfleet needs to send someone to find out.
Current Rating: 4.14 stars.
Thread Link: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=1054241
---
Mission Name: The Wraith
Author: SerpentineOne
Project ID: ST-HPG7B5XK9
Faction: Federation
Starting Point: Wall panel in front of Transporter room on Earth Space Dock.
Level Requirement: Any Level
Runtime: Around an hour.
Mission Summary:
With the encrypted data packet decoded, Starfleet Intelligence has given orders to head for a location contained within.
The destination? The territory of a shadowy mercenary warlord named The Wraith.
Only he has the information they need.
Current Rating: 5 stars
Thread Link: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=1077691
Good seed of a story and fun maps. Enjoyed where you were going to go with it. The battles in the latter part of the mission, the ground maps, started to feel a little redundant with the sheer amount of ground fighting, but, in all, solid mission.
Nothing really sticks out. Challenging space battles. Those were pretty great fun.
Can't really think of any more to say besides that. Nicely done.
Thank you for playing! I hope you will enjoy part 2 just as much if not more!
No problem! Good to get playing some Foundry missions again.
I actually tossed my two up in your thread as well before realizing that I was playing your mission. *chuckles* Hope you like them in return, if you get time to play around in them. hehe
The mission definitely receives top marks from me.
The story was moving and well put together. The characters involved were interesting and had fine depth, as well as great personalities.
The maps used were well situated and put together. I particularly enjoyed the atmosphere on Cardassia. Definite props for that one.
In all, a very solid and entertaining mission.
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
Thanks!
I'll have to review more in the near future!
Hope ya like the missions!
by bigdogofbria
Klingon side mission
General: Dialogs need serious proofreading, and the storyline is
thin and should be enhanced somehow
Ohniaka system: a good looking space map for sure... a short one
too
Ohniaka III surface.. again a good looking exterior map...
Mugatos and Mastiffs are more annoyance than fun...
the scanning for nanites thing is frankly overlong and boring...
Ohniaka space II ... a little fun with space combat... nothing
major though...
Try to use invisible object for interact instead of the reach
markers... in space they are unpredictable... I had to pass 4
times over it to activate the trigger to dialog
Its unclear the point of origin of Cole Collodi transmission yet
a KDF officer could not help but wonder if there is some (so to
speak) cloaked ship nearby ? You make the player accept the thing
without further considerations... mmh
durvan IV space map- a borg map...finally you begin to put some
meat to the story, rather thin so far...
interior rogue borg colony - You may want to put a warning at the
grant dialog saying that a phase modulator has to be equipped
cause there are Borg troops in some map.
durvan space map - activate transwarp gate - the shortest map
ever, point to the gate, go towards it, activate, done
borg space map - again a pattern of search and repeat... only
this time in space... you should add some meaty dialog, cause as
is, is mainly boring
borg unimatrix - interior borg combat one, pretty much like the
previous one.. a bit of variance on the map structure would
help. However this is the funnier part of the whole mission. Said
that I must admit that I love to fight against the Borg troops
escape map - again, a rather short one... apart for the borg cube
ripping...
final map - I would rather have choice on accept or not Collodi
friendship... my Klingon character would have not, btw
Two stars with this one.
I offer one of mine for the trade,
"The Mutara Legacy"
by helixfungus
Federation side, any level
Hi Ashy !!
Cannot help with that... I go with Zorbane's list... anyway I was intrigued by the title of it... never judge a book by its cover...
General Review:
This mission was quite the experience. The story felt very much like a Star Trek adventure, and that was woven fluidly with the gameplay to deliver a great experience. Also, your use of dialogue triggers added that much more to the mission.
The parkour segment was especially fun, although very difficult. I guess the difficulty is what makes it fun (for me anyway). It was a refreshing experience.
For the Author:
The dialogue was well written with only two things that I noticed:
"I starting to understand..." To make this flow better replace the I with "I'm" or add a "am."
"Chamber" is misspelled in one of the dialogues after the parkour segment.
Aside from those, you did an awsome job of making this mission kortaag!
End of Review
________________________________________________
Here is a mission that I would like to see reviews on:
A Routine Mission
Author: starfarertheta
ID: ST-HA6JIBXJD
Faction: Federation
Level Requirement: None, anyone can play.
Length: 20 - 40 minutes.
Features:
- Story, - Branching Dialogue, - Exploration.
Synopsis:
Memory Alpha has been detecting some unusual readings from a nebula located somewhere in the Delta Volanis Cluster. They have requested a Starfleet vessel to investigate, and Stafleet has chosen you.
From the outset, this seems like a routine, single-ship mission. A nice break from the constant struggles that currently plague the Federation. That is, until you begin unlocking the nebula's secrets...
2nd Edit: Changed some things.
@Starfarertheta: I added your first misison to the list, but for each mission you will need to add a new review.
In thread related news I have removed the review count from the list. It was initially there to encourage people to try missions that didn't have any reviews yet but it seems like the opposite has happened and people were attracted to ones with more reviews.
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
Do you still remember which ones had 0 reviews? I was going to review those next.
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
Now which to do first...
A great mission by Ashkrik. Its extremely well polished and the map work is really well done. The only issues I had was that there was a lot of background story and characters that I dont remmeber (itd been a while since I played) and the prop that was used as the turbolift. I would have liked a remind me what happened again? button early in the mission and preferred the use of the Starfleet Turbolift prop. You can easily place it in a corner of the room or used one that was built into the map. Five out of five stars.
Details:
Map - U.S.S. Simba Research Level
Great work modifying the default map
Map - Engineering
Boff got stuck on the fallen ceiling piece
Psychic Ferasans! (dunno if you meant for that to happen)
Map - Bridge
No notes
Map - Crew Deck
Combat was fun
Map - Uhh last one with space battle
Tough fight!
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
I used the turbo-lift you see due to some ways the maps were designed. I could not get the starfleet one to work.
Good mission which is mostly story focused but there some heavy space combat so be ready! Its quite well polished and also has some nice map work. I did find several thigns that did bother me though, mostly quick maps or objectives that didnt fit or make sense to me. I listed those in the details. Also I felt like the story was kind of all over the place and difficult to follow. There was also a section that promoted torture that I didnt feel comfortable with. Overall I gave it three out of five stars.
Map - U.S.S. Hood Deck One
Hard to see where the Download the information. Suggest using an isolinear chip (or something small) embedded in the console so you can see what you are supposed to click
Map - Mec System
Would have liked some more information on the ships that I scanned not just ok scan is done
Map - U.S.S. Yoga Bridge
Timing is off for hte explosions. After I download it the explosions happen but my Science officer is telling me the download is complete. Then after that do they talk about being under attack.
Kind of a quick map I just talked and had one objective
Map - Mec System
Short map again (shoot some stuff)
Map - Starbase 375 Deck Two
Why is Kris Mento helping me?
Map - Surplus Depot Z15
Ok I found out some suspicious people showed up and I fought them but who are they? Am I not even going to try and scan them? Kind of confusing
Map - Unknown Classified System
Zero objective map, fly there and its over.
I dont get why Im supposed to follow the ships too
Map - 41261
Weird map effect makes everything look low res
Nice hanging Klingon
The Talk to a visitor objectives would fit more as optional ones
Also hard to find who Im supposed to talk to
Building is textureless and kinda looks boring (not sure what can be done about it though)
Should give the player option to say that torture is not ok. I dont think any star fleet officer would actually say torture is good.
Map - Planets Surface
Cool secret passage
Would have liked some feedback for when I discovered the secret room. Instad it appears and nothing else happens.
I dont understand why I would shoot the building while Im in it just to prove something Kris Mento...why wouldnt I just walk outside and then blow it up? Or get beamed up before???
Also it seems like I blow the building up anyways? I personally would have sent in a team to secure it and explore it
Map - Tzenkethi Battleship
Scan the cargo can be a multiple component objective
Same with the Computer console one. Also they all have the same dialogue which is boring and looks lazy
Good detail on this map
Nice cliff hanger ending
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
I appreciate this detail from you, that you want this thread balanced
LOL
Just a mere thought of mine... justice as anything has been invented by someone, i.e. the ancient romans, before the very concept of law was very vague... I always objected to people relying too much at least conceptionally on justice with that, adding that ancient romans had slavery and brutal corporal punishments too... final thought, maybe sometimes let something have its flaws
BTW. God (choose the one u want) Bless This Thread
Let me add a couple of mission banners... it would be great if this stuff find a way into starbaseUGC
http://s1292.photobucket.com/user/Mario_Zorzi/media/sons_of_organia_banner_finale_zpsf09ee851.jpg.html?sort=3&o=1
http://s1292.photobucket.com/user/Mario_Zorzi/media/mutara_nebula_003_finale_zps34bc22fc.jpg.html?sort=3&o=0
General:
This one was enjoyable, especially the story which was well thought out. Great villain and a good. The trivia segment was fun. The combat was challenging in places and the there was some good trigger work. It does need a little more polishing in some places, but overall I think that story lovers will get a kick out of this one.
For the Author:
Notes:
- This didn't bother me, but some may not like having a bridge be passed off as one of theirs. Doesn't really matter once in the ready room as that seems to be largely the same on all ships.
- Periods should be added to some of the response dialogue as some people tend to be jarred by missing periods.
- "He grins from ear to ear," it probably best to not assume that the player's boff is a male.
- Sometimes when an away team member speaks, the image of the ship boff appears.
Despite these, I thought you did a great job making this mission, the story in particular.
End of Review.
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Here's another mission that I would like to see opinions on:
The Unsung Mission
- Artifacts -
Author: starfarertheta
ID: ST-HNHDXH7MU
Faction: Federation
Level Requirement: 41+
Length: 30 - 60 minutes.
Features:
- Story, - Branching Dialogue, - Space Combat, - Bonus Objectives [Remastered in v1.30].
Synopsis:
Once again the Federation finds itself under the looming spectre of yet another Borg invasion. Since problems almost never come alone, a situation has arisen that requires your special attention:
An unusual artifact was discovered in a planetoid system near the Breshar System by the U.S.S. Audentia, commanded by Admiral Atalanta. It has been some time since Starfleet's last communication with the Audentia and there are reports of increasing pirate activity near that system. You are therefore requested by Admiral Gautier to investigate.
First off, thanks for the review and the praise! I've been enjoying reading the reviews thus far - very encouraging to continue on with the next segment.
Now... for your points....
- Bridge. I wish there was a way to have the system somehow automatically pop up with the player's bridge of choice, but there isn't... and it didn't make sense to me to have them beam directly into the ready room.... so this one, sadly, I think has to stay unless more people complain. So far no one has so, fingers crossed. LOL
- Periods. I don't know why i seme to hate ending a sentence with an actual period... I'll go back and see if I can add them...
- Pronoun issues. This, sadly, is a huge issue I've been trying desperately to overcome. I try to avoid pronouns for player NPCs for this very reason, but when I am writing I sometimes get carried away with the story that I forget these aren't "my" characters. I am trying to get better with either using "their" as a pronoun or, better, avoiding it all together....
- I know there is one spot in particular where the ship's tactical officer speaks when it should be the away teams... I've been meaning to go back in and correct that. I have a long (Easter) weekend coming up and hopefully will be able to fix it then.
Im glad you enjoyed the story and will look forward to checking out your mission in the near future!
Cheers!
General:
I thought the story was fun in this one, and the humor was a nice touch. I liked the premise to the whole thing, had my interest almost as soon as it started. Map work was great, as well as the trigger work. The one thing that could make this mission a really, really good one is some polishing and revamping of the dialogue (see notes below). There were also times when more explanation of what was going on would have been helpful. Overall, this mission I thought this mission was rather fun.
For the Author:
Notes:
- Some suggestions on how the dialogue could improve:
1 - Instead of "to my tricorder we are..." could be rewritten as "according to my tricorder, we are..."
2 - "Have you migranes ?" could be rewritten as: "Do you have any migrains?"
3 - This "I didn't detect the slightest lifesign,..." could be "I'm not detecting the slightest lifesign,"
These are just suggestions as you can write anything you want.
- There are also unnecessary spaces between words and periods/exclamation marks.
- Alpha Margoulis: Some of the planets are already visible before dropping out of warp.
Aside from these things, nicely done @helixfungus.
End of Review.
Edit 2: Set things back to what they were.
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Another one that I would like to see opinions on:
The Unsung Mission
- Escalation -
Author: starfarertheta
ID: ST-HQTGG3SXM
Faction: Federation
Level Requirement: 41+
Length: 40 - 75 minutes (longer when exploring).
Features:
- Story, - Branching Dialogue, - Space and Ground Combat, - Bonus Objectives, - Exploration.
Synopsis:
A dangerous particle, a Section 31 agent in possession of one, and a conduit that is the catalyst to it all. All of which is happening under the shadow of an impending Borg invasion.
The investigation of three ship wreckages is your only bid to find anything that can help you hunt down the Section 31 agent before he unleashes whatever he is planning.
Be forewarned, there are others taking part in the hunt...
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@prierin:
I see what you mean on all points, especially when it comes to the dialogue. It seems like it is the dialogue that takes the most time to examine and polish when building missions. Good luck with your next mission though!
A Review of The Dogs of War, a foundry mission by pbau3993.
First off, this was solidly built with no technical problems as far as I can see. The combat was simple, yet done well. As for the story, the premise for the story is interesting, but I feel that there could have been a neutral path that the player could have played through. Or at least, add some more justifications, like presenting a more dire war situation, for why the player has to do what they have to do. I thought that the Roman references was interesting. In all, this was well made with no technical issues as far as I could see.
For the Author:
Notes:
- nice city, although more object like potted plants or other things of that nature could add a lot ot the city's atmopshere.
- When consulting with my officers, only their ship board versions appeared in the dialogue
boxes. If this was intended you may want to add a note that having the rest
of the away team beaming down is not necessary.
- Typo list:
1. "are weapons are better..."
During the final dialogue:
2. "I loook forward to...."
End of Review.
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The last mission in my series that I would appreciate reviews on.
The Unsung Mission
- Maelstrom -
Author: starfarertheta
ID: ST-HST5R3A34
Faction: Federation
Level Requirement: 41+
Length: 30 - 60 minutes.
Features:
- Story, - Branching Dialogue, - Large Scale Space and Ground Battles, - Bonus Objectives.
Synopsis:
In the midst of a Borg invasion, chaos erupts in the Badlands as a task force from multiple factions clash for control over the conduit.
In the midst of this chaos, you must infiltrate the rogue Section 31 agent's base of operations in order to stop him, or anyone else from unleashing a plan of insanity, and you do not have much time.
Before that, however, you must deal with an impromptu situation courtesy of a sabotuer...
On the contrary, anything you note about dialog and grammar helps me polishing further the mission, so, don't push back anything, please !
Thanks for the trade, I will play some of yours ASAP...
I am currently working on my first klingon sided mission, and for that I am using a simple yet powerful grammar check tool, one that I advice to all non english speakers doing Foundries: an Android powered cell phone, and the powerful translation tool by google available by Play Store... it was under my proverbial nose all this time, folks....
Oh, glad I could help then.
The review has been put back to the way it was.
dialogs too... multiple choices, branching and so on,
borg interior...spooky place, scary customisation, apart that...
maybe if you don't won't write in advance that I will not have any opponents
at all, you will raise more tension...
Good care of triggers too.
Side thought ...does anyone hate flames that don't burn, like me
? Same for electric charges, explosions and so on.... this would
be a solid enhancement to our doing, fellow Foundrists !!
you may want to change "information recieved"
finish exploring etc map... cool glowing lava rock on the borg facility, and the misterious encounter with the "Penumbra" captain... you delivered as promised, not an inch of fighting in the mission...
final considerations:
Although I miss fighting enemies, I admire the writer who wants to put aside them for exploration and dialogs... said that I would have more to explore and see...for the dialog part, I found it to be very accurate, but sometimes I got lost with all the possibly answers. Rather enjoyable - I gave 3 stars to it.