Heh...the fact that my KDF toon wanted to totally flout the Nausicaan stereotype and STO's missions wouldn't allow it was a big reason I quit playing the KDF side.
Imagine General Chang in Nausicaan form and you have a fairly good idea of what Krantak was intended to be like--very intelligent, well-spoken, strict, and highly controlled. Likely a speaker of three languages minimum. Pretty much everything you would NOT expect from a Nausicaan. Then again, perhaps someday I could write an LC entry showing what one of those Instigate Defection DOFF assignments would be like, since his disgust was so clear to me that I even saw him in a dream of mine, faced with the understanding that honor as HE saw it was not possible in Klingon-controlled space, and only with a minority of his own people, as well...
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Very nice entry, and a very unique perspective on your captain! I also liked the links to past stories your characters are referencing.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Entry Three. Warning: Not for the faint of heart...
For ease of reference/visualization, here're the actors I would cast if I was filming this tomorrow...
Rebecca Ravillious - Mimi Rogers
Naomi Chandler - Katherine Heigl
Ahmed Nasir - Shaun Toub
Paul Kane - Chris Noth
Thomas Hendricks - Gerard Butler
Adigeon Researcher - Paul Walker
Callum MacLeod - Adrian Paul
Adigeon Doctor - Sienna Guillory
Marcus Kane - Asa Butterfield
Alix Kane - Shyloh Oostwald
Wesley Cooper - Brad Pitt
Doctor Reynolds - Patrick J. Adams
Entry Three. Warning: Not for the faint of heart...
Ah, finally the long-awaited origin story.
Dang, you weren't kidding when you said "not for the faint of heart." The anguish Marcus is feeling at the end there is so palpable, it practically reached from my computer screen and punched me in the gut.
I know it had to hurt to write that. It hurts just to read it. But let me say it was absolutely worth it.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Wow...that really drives home the horror he endured.
I hope Master Sovak, underneath his Vulcan composure, is someone with a lot of compassion, given that he specializes in those who have suffered traumas. Marcus will definitely need an approach that is both instructive and compassionate and respectful.
I'm surprised the Kanes weren't harder on Alix for her disquieting behavior, though, and then told Marcus it was normal or at least acceptable...
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Be warned: This one is quite long (30 pages in MS Word! :eek: ) so don't start reading it unless you have nothing to do for the next hour.
For LC14: Facility 4028 I went for a mission adaptation story with a unique twist.
When I started playing the game last year I leveled up my characters Jesu and Ssharki simultaneously, and synced their progress through the storyline missions. In my back story they were close friends before the war, and I'd always imagined them cooperating on the cross-faction Featured Episode missions, particularly the 2800 FE chain.
So this story is that scenario played out. You also get a much more in-depth look at Jesu LaRoca's mental state (self-deluded much?) and my own (sick) sense of humor. :P
PS: Bonus points if you figure out where all those names in the address box came from.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Dang, you weren't kidding when you said "not for the faint of heart." The anguish Marcus is feeling at the end there is so palpable, it practically reached from my computer screen and punched me in the gut.
I know it had to hurt to write that. It hurts just to read it. But let me say it was absolutely worth it.
It was... emotional... but I'm glad that it was worth it if it explained things better and gave a better insight into Marcus' demons
Be warned: This one is quite long (30 pages in MS Word! ) so don't start reading it unless you have nothing to do for the next hour.
For LC14: Facility 4028 I went for a mission adaptation story with a unique twist.
When I started playing the game last year I leveled up my characters Jesu and Ssharki simultaneously, and synced their progress through the storyline missions. In my back story they were close friends before the war, and I'd always imagined them cooperating on the cross-faction Featured Episode missions, particularly the 2800 FE chain.
So this story is that scenario played out. You also get a much more in-depth look at Jesu LaRoca's mental state (self-deluded much?) and my own (sick) sense of humor.
PS: Bonus points if you figure out where all those names in the address box came from.
That was a fantastic piece, thankyou for taking the time to put it together and share :cool:
Absolutely awesome use of characters and situations I have the suspicion that Miss Zain is what they refer to as 'a hotty'... I also have a suspicion that Marcus, Jesu and Ssharki would have had some interesting times at the annual Exotic Weapons Convention ^_^ Equally, I dread to think what Singh would have done if he ever got his hands on S'rR's' genetic profile, but I suspect that he won't be continuing his work...
[Edit to add]
I forgot to say, awesome CC list Did the branding of Marcus' watch filter through?
Wow...that really drives home the horror he endured.
I hope Master Sovak, underneath his Vulcan composure, is someone with a lot of compassion, given that he specializes in those who have suffered traumas. Marcus will definitely need an approach that is both instructive and compassionate and respectful.
I hope it explains what made him the way he was... Master Sovak would certainly have helped Marcus through some very challenging times, but I think the results of his tutelage speak for themselves...
I'm surprised the Kanes weren't harder on Alix for her disquieting behavior, though, and then told Marcus it was normal or at least acceptable...
I think the best way to describe Alix, is that she's essentially an Augment, without the 'optional extras' of heightened intelligence, coordination or strength, and would be somewhere on the Aspergers/autism spectrum, where her behavior is the acknowledged result of an untreatable condition, rather than simply 'bad behavior'. Not quite as disturbed or intense as Jack or Lauren, but certainly enough that friends and family would know that she 'had issues', and any outbursts or strange behaviour had to be accommodated as the symptoms of an unwell mind, rather than pure deviancy. At that point, her behavior would not have gone beyond sneaking into Marcus' bed and spending as much time with him as possible. Her parents would have talked to her about her behavior, but equally, have known that without the reason for her behavior, she would not have been alive in the first place, so simply cared for her as they would any child with special needs
It's not often that I can name a favorite line in an LC, especially one as long as that one, but the line that jumps out at me in retrospect is:
"Miss Zain, you may now press the button that makes everyone die."
Me likey.
(A close second was Ssharki's response - "I want that button!")
I start laughing like a maniac every time I press this button :cool:
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
sander233 - your story about the pirate was very thought provoking. I am a few days behind everyone else in reading it, so I don't think I have anything new to add to the discussion. But I wanted to let you know that I enjoyed it.
cmdrscarlet - your Ten Forward entry was also good. You always do a good job of capturing enough detail in the short stories to make them worthwhile.
I have written one more entry, this time based on LC 21, "Saying Hello." I've basically turned my ship into a soap opera, so it was only fitting that I show you the first interaction between one of the couples (Amanda Carpenter and Miguel Jarvis).
Much to my surprise, a second entry slipped out. "Who Sings the Song of Hosts" is a response to LC #3, "My Haven."
Even more of a surprise was that Alyosha decided to give me a look into his promotion to captain, and even a glimpse of the man he served under as first officer.
The last part is definitely inspired by a real song...I definitely encourage you to listen to get an idea of what I was driving at with this piece. In fact, I invite you to watch the video, too, because the musician's reactions provide a great visual translation of what's going on in the story, despite the fact that the actual visuals would not be so relatable.
The Mad Violinist takes on the Bassnectar remix of Ellie Goulding's "Lights"...
Oh...and Captain Teeglar's species is the same one Keenser belongs to, from Star Trek XI. The name "Roylan" didn't come from the movie, but has been seen in some sources, so I went ahead and used it anyway.
I think the best way to describe Alix, is that she's essentially an Augment, without the 'optional extras' of heightened intelligence, coordination or strength, and would be somewhere on the Aspergers/autism spectrum, where her behavior is the acknowledged result of an untreatable condition, rather than simply 'bad behavior'. Not quite as disturbed or intense as Jack or Lauren, but certainly enough that friends and family would know that she 'had issues', and any outbursts or strange behaviour had to be accommodated as the symptoms of an unwell mind, rather than pure deviancy. At that point, her behavior would not have gone beyond sneaking into Marcus' bed and spending as much time with him as possible. Her parents would have talked to her about her behavior, but equally, have known that without the reason for her behavior, she would not have been alive in the first place, so simply cared for her as they would any child with special needs
I appreciate the comparison you're trying to draw, and IRL I agree that those with special needs should be treated with compassion.
Of course, IRL we do not have the ability to deliberately manipulate the genome to the extreme extent seen in Star Trek. I wonder if her parents had any idea of the kinds of side effects that could result from the Adigeons' treatments? There definitely seem to be a lot of ethical considerations surrounding it, especially since I didn't see anywhere where the physician warned her of possible crippling side effects--only held out a promise of a cure.
Then again, given what we know they did in canon, such a modus operandi would not surprise me at all, and might well have been your exact intention.
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Much to my surprise, a second entry slipped out. "Who Sings the Song of Hosts" is a response to LC #3, "My Haven."
Even more of a surprise was that Alyosha decided to give me a look into his promotion to captain, and even a glimpse of the man he served under as first officer.
The last part is definitely inspired by a real song...I definitely encourage you to listen to get an idea of what I was driving at with this piece. In fact, I invite you to watch the video, too, because the musician's reactions provide a great visual translation of what's going on in the story, despite the fact that the actual visuals would not be so relatable.
The Mad Violinist takes on the Bassnectar remix of Ellie Goulding's "Lights"...
Oh...and Captain Teeglar's species is the same one Keenser belongs to, from Star Trek XI. The name "Roylan" didn't come from the movie, but has been seen in some sources, so I went ahead and used it anyway.
That was a really nice entry, I hope Captain Keenser will appear in the future Linking the track certainly gives a good example of how Alyosha's natural acoustics could sound And yes, it is nice when a character reveals something about themselves which we as their author did not already know
I appreciate the comparison you're trying to draw, and IRL I agree that those with special needs should be treated with compassion.
I really wanted to try and reinforce that the less socially-acceptable aspects of her behavior were down to a condition she could not control, rather than simply intentional behavior.
(Historically speaking, 'twincest' occurs quite frequently in literature, even in Game of Thrones, and I needed Marcus to have a 'skeleton in his closet' of that magnitude to try and balance against the incredibility of his immortality. One legend, I forget which nation it is from, is that lovers who commit dual suicide are reincarnated as twins in their next lives...)
I wonder if her parents had any idea of the kinds of side effects that could result from the Adigeons' treatments?
As a scientist, Rebecca would have known the risks associated with the accelerated critical neural pathway formation therapy which leads to Augments, which was why she was so vehement that no such enhancements be made, so that any potential side-effects be minimized.
There definitely seem to be a lot of ethical considerations surrounding it, especially since I didn't see anywhere where the physician warned her of possible crippling side effects--only held out a promise of a cure.
To be fair, MacLeod was only her attendant Starfleet physician, not a specialist genetic engineer (although he did recognize the Lazarus Gene as being present in the twins) he may not have thought that the proposed procedure would have carried any of the risks associated with the usual Augment procedures, as none of the usual procedures were to be carried out. If the likes of Jack and Lauren are the likely result of 'the full works', it might have been considered an acceptable risk that Alix may have only experienced minor side-effects, due to the relatively 'minimal' work being done to the genetic structure, and that being considered preferable to a miscarriage. Sure, in terms of the organism, it was a total re-writing, but only re-writing to baseline norm, not enhancing anything beyond the norm.
Then again, given what we know they did in canon, such a modus operandi would not surprise me at all, and might well have been your exact intention.
Well... It was myintention that Alix's behavior be the result of a forced genetic re-structuring, as I wanted her to be a slightly more sympathetic character than simply viewed as a deliberately deviant individual, but it would not have been the Adigeon's (or MacLeod's) intention that she suffer any side-effects, as they were not performing any 'enhancement' surgery... Genetic engineering is held in two opposing views in Trek canon. While it is considered illegal, and any genetically enhanced individuals are forbidden from practicing medicine or serving in Starfleet, the loophole to that is that genetic engineering is permitted to correct any genetic defects. In this instance, Alix's defects were the result of potentially illegal research on the part of the Adigeons (or perhaps that was why thalaron research was banned in the Federation) so within the remit to be legally corrected. Of course, her resultant psych profile would have excluded her from Starfleet service regardless of her genetic status... To most people, she would have been nice as pie, and passably 'normal', except for the occasional off-color or brutally honest comment which a 'regular person' would have the social grace to know not to make. She would only have been outright nasty to any female she considered as being too close to Marcus, and thus represent a potential usurping of his affections, but even then, she would not have been dangerous like Jack was. She wouldn't have been institutionalized as Jack and Lauren had to be (interestingly, I've just remembered that they were accompanied by a Starfleet, not a civilian therapist... ) but would have been part of the board of directors of their father's engineering company.
That was a really nice entry, I hope Captain Keenser will appear in the future
While he isn't Keenser, he's of the same species, and I admit that his serious demeanor was inspired by Keenser's very deadpan, stoic handling of nuScotty's insanity. Teeglar is a serious man and it was very important to him that his crew get that point. He's not a total prig, but he does not care for being underestimated or dismissed by his subordinates. So in addition to his record, discussion with his superiors, and interviews with Alyosha himself, one of Teeglar's other reasons for choosing Alyosha was realizing that Alyosha can understand better than most why Teeglar expects certain things of him.
Linking the track certainly gives a good example of how Alyosha's natural acoustics could sound
At first the sound was much more similar to...well...a Nazgul, or the scream of a bird of prey. Something that would probably result in calls to security wanting to know who just murdered, or what fell beast has invaded the ship.
But he's so steeped in Earth music that it doesn't take long for the Earth instruments to start coming out. He loves stringed instruments--though I think sometimes he also enjoys creating instruments with very specific, precise tones like the piano, that must be hit dead-on rather than sliding from note to note the way a stringed instrument does.
And yes, it is nice when a character reveals something about themselves which we as their author did not already know
Definitely. I don't know how to explain this, but it just came to me as an image, with Teeglar and Alyosha walking side by side, and even just their body language told me everything I needed to know.
(Historically speaking, 'twincest' occurs quite frequently in literature, even in Game of Thrones, and I needed Marcus to have a 'skeleton in his closet' of that magnitude to try and balance against the incredibility of his immortality. One legend, I forget which nation it is from, is that lovers who commit dual suicide are reincarnated as twins in their next lives...)
Yikes! I wonder if that's a Japanese legend? Maybe someone here knows...
As a scientist, Rebecca would have known the risks associated with the accelerated critical neural pathway formation therapy which leads to Augments, which was why she was so vehement that no such enhancements be made, so that any potential side-effects be minimized.
I see...I didn't realize that. There are many kinds of scientists. Alyosha wouldn't have known much about it himself, for instance--not as a physicist with a specialty in temporal mechanics.
To be fair, MacLeod was only her attendant Starfleet physician, not a specialist genetic engineer (although he did recognize the Lazarus Gene as being present in the twins)
LOL, with a name like MacLeod I figured he recognized it.
he may not have thought that the proposed procedure would have carried any of the risks associated with the usual Augment procedures, as none of the usual procedures were to be carried out. If the likes of Jack and Lauren are the likely result of 'the full works', it might have been considered an acceptable risk that Alix may have only experienced minor side-effects, due to the relatively 'minimal' work being done to the genetic structure, and that being considered preferable to a miscarriage. Sure, in terms of the organism, it was a total re-writing, but only re-writing to baseline norm, not enhancing anything beyond the norm.
Maybe. Still, my experience with having been operated on was one where the doctors had to discuss eeeeeeeevery risk, however slight. MacLeod might not have known better--but that Adigeon physician sure should have. I guess, though, that the Adigeons do not have an equivalent of the Hippocratic Oath. (Or they wouldn't have done the things they did to people, repeatedly and without regard to the risks.)
Well... It was myintention that Alix's behavior be the result of a forced genetic re-structuring, as I wanted her to be a slightly more sympathetic character than simply viewed as a deliberately deviant individual, but it would not have been the Adigeon's (or MacLeod's) intention that she suffer any side-effects, as they were not performing any 'enhancement' surgery...
I understand what you mean about why the character was enhanced in the first place. And I would imagine if MacLeod had known better, he would've said something about the risks.
But I just had this feeling that the Adigeons' medical techniques are illegal for a reason, and that they might have a fundamentally different view of the medical profession. One that does not have the kinds of ethics ours does and therefore would not see it as a "big deal" to provide full disclosure. Repeatedly turning out "mistakes" like Patrick, Laura, and Jack (who are clearly not all the same age...I think Patrick's case would've been known before the operations on Laura and Jack) is something that on Earth would've stopped the research cold. (And did, when Khan was created.) But it clearly didn't bother the Adigeons, or they would've stopped.
In this instance, Alix's defects were the result of potentially illegal research on the part of the Adigeons (or perhaps that was why thalaron research was banned in the Federation) so within the remit to be legally corrected.
At least personally, it makes the most sense that this was what got thalaron research banned...the Adigeons being foolhardy enough to test it on a populated world. (Another example of the cavalier attitude above? Which is why to me it seems like it all fits together into a complete and logical picture.)
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he's of the same species, and I admit that his serious demeanor was inspired by Keenser's very deadpan, stoic handling of nuScotty's insanity. Teeglar is a serious man and it was very important to him that his crew get that point. He's not a total prig, but he does not care for being underestimated or dismissed by his subordinates. So in addition to his record, discussion with his superiors, and interviews with Alyosha himself, one of Teeglar's other reasons for choosing Alyosha was realizing that Alyosha can understand better than most why Teeglar expects certain things of him.
I really liked Teeglar, one rather got the impression of him being ten feet tall, and the kind of Captain whom people automatically follow, so to contrast that to him being the same species as Keenser is an excellent juxtaposition, and would make for another fascinating character
At first the sound was much more similar to...well...a Nazgul, or the scream of a bird of prey. Something that would probably result in calls to security wanting to know who just murdered, or what fell beast has invaded the ship.
I must admit, as much as I love music, I actually couldn't listen to the entire track, as I found the violin physically uncomfortable (as much as I loved the more atmospheric qualities of the underlying track) so I think that's certainly a good confirmation that many people would find the Devidian language uncomfortable and unsettling to witness...
But he's so steeped in Earth music that it doesn't take long for the Earth instruments to start coming out. He loves stringed instruments--though I think sometimes he also enjoys creating instruments with very specific, precise tones like the piano, that must be hit dead-on rather than sliding from note to note the way a stringed instrument does.
I can understand that, it must be an interesting ability to have, so it's easy to see how it could lead to such an interest in music ^_^
Definitely. I don't know how to explain this, but it just came to me as an image, with Teeglar and Alyosha walking side by side, and even just their body language told me everything I needed to know.
I know what you mean, I tend to get similar images when writing, ironically, especially when writing Cameron, a lot of who's communication would actually have come through bodylanguage and gesture, rather than vocalization (for the record, Pentaxians have the same kind of vocal range as the diva in the Fifth Element, and I imagine Alyosha would appreciate Pentaxian opera, which features tones both above and below the range of Human hearing)
I see...I didn't realize that. There are many kinds of scientists. Alyosha wouldn't have known much about it himself, for instance--not as a physicist with a specialty in temporal mechanics.
Rebecca was something of a scientific jack of all trades like Spock, with a taste for gizmos and engineering thrown in. She would have read a lot of scientific publications to keep her knowledge base as broad as possible, and probably seen a few updates on SpaceBook of "Adigeon geneticists are manipulating YOUR children!!! Share if you are against this..."...
LOL, with a name like MacLeod I figured he recognized it.
As a doctor, he would have been aware of the gene and the restrictions of informing carriers or their parents of its presence, and being a MacLeod, he had no doubt heard a few interesting family legends over the years
Maybe. Still, my experience with having been operated on was one where the doctors had to discuss eeeeeeeevery risk, however slight. MacLeod might not have known better--but that Adigeon physician sure should have. I guess, though, that the Adigeons do not have an equivalent of the Hippocratic Oath. (Or they wouldn't have done the things they did to people, repeatedly and without regard to the risks.)
But I just had this feeling that the Adigeons' medical techniques are illegal for a reason, and that they might have a fundamentally different view of the medical profession. One that does not have the kinds of ethics ours does and therefore would not see it as a "big deal" to provide full disclosure. Repeatedly turning out "mistakes" like Patrick, Laura, and Jack (who are clearly not all the same age...I think Patrick's case would've been known before the operations on Laura and Jack) is something that on Earth would've stopped the research cold. (And did, when Khan was created.) But it clearly didn't bother the Adigeons, or they would've stopped.
At least personally, it makes the most sense that this was what got thalaron research banned...the Adigeons being foolhardy enough to test it on a populated world. (Another example of the cavalier attitude above? Which is why to me it seems like it all fits together into a complete and logical picture.)
That was precisely my thoughts (although I had not actually considered the evidence of Patrick being much older than Lauren or Jack) that the Adigeons simply didn't care what they did with an attitude of "Well you paid us to do it...", combined with the attitude of some tattoo artists of "I did my job properly, it's not my fault you didn't heal it up properly...". That was why I figured that if any species would be foolhardy enough to mess with thalaron radiation, it would have been them... I think the Eden was probably there to assess what they were up to, much like the weapons inspectors in Iraq, rather than simply a 'friendly visit' to a Federation research facility... It just seems reasonable conjecture that they were extremely gifted scientists, but with very little of what others would consider moral scruples.
I understand what you mean about why the character was enhanced in the first place. And I would imagine if MacLeod had known better, he would've said something about the risks.
This is the thing, it would have had to be a 'system wide' genetic re-writing, but equally, I didn't want her to actually be an Augment, as there was not only no need for her to be enhanced, but equally, given their standing in Starfleet circles, Paul and Rebecca would certainly not been the kind of people to engage in illegal activities, where I always got the impression that Bashir's father was a bit of a roguish chancer (although of course, the fact that they had him enhanced to overcome his considerable learning difficulties, does show a more sympathetic light to their actions) Yes, I think had MacLeod actually known enough about the subject to anticipate the risks, he would have said something, even if it was just to let Rebecca know the risk, and let her weigh that against losing the child, which to be fair, she would never have done... Rebecca was very much a Warrior Mum who would have done anything for her children's well-being.
So the question is, ambassadormollari, does the Federation send Vic Fontaine as its official ambassador to these people? A case is certainly to be made for that.
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Another terrific piece! I really liked Ens. Saan's quirky predilection for gender-bending historical figures, and the Bogart entity was brilliantly constructed.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
@ Ambassadormolari:
Fantastic concept for the time delay to be who the image of Bogart was chosen, but what a fantastic portrayal of him
I'll be honest, my inspiration came from the movie Contact (i haven't read the Carl Sagan novel yet), where the aliens make first contact with the earth by sending back one of Earth's earliest transmissions-- which, awkardly enough, was a televised speech by Adolf Hitler. Otherwise, thank you. I picked Bogart because he's the only actor from the era I could think of who was widely-known enough and had with sufficiently distinctive mannerisms, other than John Wayne. Or Groucho Marx, but that would have been utterly ridiculous.
So the question is, ambassadormollari, does the Federation send Vic Fontaine as its official ambassador to these people? A case is certainly to be made for that.
Weirdly enough, I think that would actually work. It makes me wonder where Vic has been this whole time. Probably stuck in the same photonic wing of Memory Alpha with the Doctor, which sounds like the plot of a bad sitcom...
Another terrific piece! I really liked Ens. Saan's quirky predilection for gender-bending historical figures, and the Bogart entity was brilliantly constructed.
Thanks. It makes me want to do more holodeck bits with Sann, just to see what other weird historical inversions she might try.
Now that I've had the opportunity to read quite a few of these pieces, its my turn to do some commentary:
@cmdrscarlet: I really liked your Ten Forward piece. In particular, I like the unique way in which you managed to say a lot about Kathryn in this story without actually focusing on her. Well done!
@marcusdkane: As everyone has already mentioned, your story hits an emotional low blow, and a pretty powerful one. Otherwise, I think it was very well written, and gives us some much-needed explanation behind Marcus. Interesting that you chose as his origin point the same place where Julian Bashir was genetically engineered. Also, the bit with Rebecca leaving a disastrous experiment on during her wedding cracked me up.
@sander233: I loved your holodeck story! I like the idea of LaRoca using the holodeck as a means of coming to terms with his guilt and making use of a holographic confessor. Juxtaposing everything with a pirate ship and the Caribbean was a very nice touch as well. I am still in the process of reading your other two stories about LaRoca and Ssharki, but I like what I've read from them so far as well (though much from your second LaRoca story is sailing over my head, since I haven't played any of the Dominion missions yet).
Incidentally...
Professor Udo Kier, Project I.S.I.S., Daystrom Institute;
I see what you did there. :P
@gulberat: I will admit, the end bit was more than a little unexpected. It was, however, well written, and you conveyed Alyosha's reaction to the music wonderfully.
@sparklysoldier: Another excellent Azera story! Everything about your story came together really well-- the way you described Azera's reaction to the sensing the Collective in its entirety, your visual description of the Unicomplex, your handling of the Borg Queen, and especially Azera's reactions afterwards, all made the entire story shine.
And there's my fourth entry. Went for something a little simpler this time. No epic battles, no rousing speeches, just a little bit of self-reflection on Bryan's part. Anyway, lemme know what you guys think!
Oh, and if you can guess what I was referencing, you get a cookie .
Arrrgh, I just realized that I typed the wrong name, my sincere apologies, that was a written slip of the tongue
Pfft...no big deal.
I really liked Teeglar, one rather got the impression of him being ten feet tall, and the kind of Captain whom people automatically follow, so to contrast that to him being the same species as Keenser is an excellent juxtaposition, and would make for another fascinating character
I think once people realize what Teeglar is like--which at first I think people tend to see through the behavior of his senior officers (because prejudice DOES still exist in the 25th century), they see that.
I definitely saw it in my first impression of Teeglar. It even affected Alyosha's body language. When I pictured him walking alongside Teeglar, he's straightened up and even seems to walk in a very "precise," military way. Not a march, but I think you know what I mean. Disciplined.
I must admit, as much as I love music, I actually couldn't listen to the entire track, as I found the violin physically uncomfortable (as much as I loved the more atmospheric qualities of the underlying track) so I think that's certainly a good confirmation that many people would find the Devidian language uncomfortable and unsettling to witness...
LOL, I have a very high tolerance for the unusual in music. I put it down to having synesthesia, which probably alters the aesthetic values I judge music by to at least some extent.
Of course Alyosha doesn't actually know the Devidian language...he was only raised with human languages. But if their language is in any way similar to that, yeah, I suspect it would scare some people.
I can understand that, it must be an interesting ability to have, so it's easy to see how it could lead to such an interest in music ^_^
I also think part of him, subconsciously, feels that music is how things are "supposed" to be.
But I also admit, I loved the idea of giving a trait like that to the Devidians. The potential that they squandered (most of them)...
I know what you mean, I tend to get similar images when writing, ironically, especially when writing Cameron, a lot of who's communication would actually have come through bodylanguage and gesture, rather than vocalization (for the record, Pentaxians have the same kind of vocal range as the diva in the Fifth Element, and I imagine Alyosha would appreciate Pentaxian opera, which features tones both above and below the range of Human hearing)
I'm not sure how far his range extends. But he'll try anything at least once, musically speaking, unless it has offensive lyrics or something.
Rebecca was something of a scientific jack of all trades like Spock, with a taste for gizmos and engineering thrown in. She would have read a lot of scientific publications to keep her knowledge base as broad as possible, and probably seen a few updates on SpaceBook of "Adigeon geneticists are manipulating YOUR children!!! Share if you are against this..."...
I think that while Alyosha has some basic idea of biology, the fact that so much of it he simply cannot personally relate to means that he doesn't follow it that closely.
I think the Eden was probably there to assess what they were up to, much like the weapons inspectors in Iraq, rather than simply a 'friendly visit' to a Federation research facility... It just seems reasonable conjecture that they were extremely gifted scientists, but with very little of what others would consider moral scruples.
That would make a lot of sense.
Yes, I think had MacLeod actually known enough about the subject to anticipate the risks, he would have said something, even if it was just to let Rebecca know the risk, and let her weigh that against losing the child, which to be fair, she would never have done... Rebecca was very much a Warrior Mum who would have done anything for her children's well-being.
I can understand that. I guess I just figured I would've been pissed, if I had been in Rebecca's position and had reason to believe the Adigeons took advantage of my extreme emotional vulnerability in that moment to encourage a medical decision of that magnitude without full information.
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Weirdly enough, I think that would actually work. It makes me wonder where Vic has been this whole time. Probably stuck in the same photonic wing of Memory Alpha with the Doctor, which sounds like the plot of a bad sitcom...
Hmm...sequel potential...
I wonder how Vic has developed since then. If he's broadened beyond his programming further to where he's comparable with the Doctor now...
@gulberat: I will admit, the end bit was more than a little unexpected. It was, however, well written, and you conveyed Alyosha's reaction to the music wonderfully.
Glad you liked it! Just curious...in what way was it unexpected?
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I'll be honest, my inspiration came from the movie Contact (i haven't read the Carl Sagan novel yet), where the aliens make first contact with the earth by sending back one of Earth's earliest transmissions-- which, awkardly enough, was a televised speech by Adolf Hitler. Otherwise, thank you. I picked Bogart because he's the only actor from the era I could think of who was widely-known enough and had with sufficiently distinctive mannerisms, other than John Wayne. Or Groucho Marx, but that would have been utterly ridiculous.
Inspiration is inspiration, regardless the source Once I decided to name my STO ship for the plot to kill Hitler, I ironically found one of his quotes, to be the most fitting for the dedication plaque of a literary ship:
"Words build bridges into unexplored regions."
I think your choice of Bogart was perfect, but in terms of juxtaposition to the 25th Century, but also in your very recognizable portrayal of him
As everyone has already mentioned, your story hits an emotional low blow, and a pretty powerful one. Otherwise, I think it was very well written, and gives us some much-needed explanation behind Marcus.
I'm sorry you felt it was a low blow, it was only my intention to show just what had emotionally crippled Marcus so severely, that Vulcan mental techniques were the only solution... :-\
Interesting that you chose as his origin point the same place where Julian Bashir was genetically engineered.
I figured when one needs the best genetic engineering done, there would only be one realistic option, despite significant bad press in science journals... The challenge was in finding a reason why a Starfleet officer would actually need to have a child genetically engineered, for the results to be manifested as personality traits, and the rest just fell into place from there...
Also, the bit with Rebecca leaving a disastrous experiment on during her wedding cracked me up.
Glad to hear it had the desired effect I figure that she figured that she had nineteen usable minutes while the experiment ran, so made the appropriate scheduling to maximize her time, rather than spinning on her lab chair and building a 'house of PADDS' waiting for the results to come through. I figured it also gave a hint of her kind of humor ^_^
I think once people realize what Teeglar is like--which at first I think people tend to see through the behavior of his senior officers (because prejudice DOES still exist in the 25th century), they see that.
I definitely saw it in my first impression of Teeglar. It even affected Alyosha's body language. When I pictured him walking alongside Teeglar, he's straightened up and even seems to walk in a very "precise," military way. Not a march, but I think you know what I mean. Disciplined.
Yes, that makes sense, equally, I got the impression of Teeglar having the same kind of inner strength as Master Yoda, which immediately commands respect, regardless of his stature. I really hope that a future LC will allow him to make a guest appearance.
LOL, I have a very high tolerance for the unusual in music. I put it down to having synesthesia, which probably alters the aesthetic values I judge music by to at least some extent.
Of course Alyosha doesn't actually know the Devidian language...he was only raised with human languages. But if their language is in any way similar to that, yeah, I suspect it would scare some people.
I've always liked stuff like Jean-Michel Jarre, and one time at school, our music teacher was substituted by one of the art teachers, and he said something like "That doesn't sound like music to me," to something being played with a SynthString sound, and I'd never been able to understand what he meant, until listening to that track, so even though it wasn't necessarily to my taste, it certainly taught me something :cool:
I'm not sure how far his range extends. But he'll try anything at least once, musically speaking, unless it has offensive lyrics or something.
Far from it, it's very classy/highbrow stuff, just not palatable to those with a Human range of hearing, as much of the sequences in the infra and ultrasonic ranges would simply be perceived as extended periods of silence, interspersed with gutt-churning/teeth jangling swooping tones
I think that while Alyosha has some basic idea of biology, the fact that so much of it he simply cannot personally relate to means that he doesn't follow it that closely.
That would make sense, if his field of expertise is more focused on the quantum and the temporal
I can understand that. I guess I just figured I would've been pissed, if I had been in Rebecca's position and had reason to believe the Adigeons took advantage of my extreme emotional vulnerability in that moment to encourage a medical decision of that magnitude without full information.
Just to clarify, I was meaning that Rebecca would have undergone the procedure to save the child's life even if the risks had been fully explained. Once Alix's behavioral issues became apparent, she would have known that any return to Adigeon Prime would have been futile, as the Adigeon's attitude would simply have been "We saved your child, don't complain about the job we did doing so, she could be worse off...", and was simply grateful to have a healthy child (although Marcus was always her favorite of the twins). I don't think it would be right to say that the Adigeon's don't care, I think they just have a very different idea about what to care about, and probably view Augment behavioral issues as an outcome so frequent with their procedures, that they may feel that warning people of them would be like saying "This food can be unhealthy," everytime someone buys a Big Mac, so not something to concern themselves with...
@takeshi6: Something gives me the feeling an ambitious emperor in the Mirror Universe named Lelouch could be a very, very bad thing. Very nice dialogue, I like the story's perspective within his thoughts, and a complex political power struggle in the MU could be very fun to read, especially if it spills over into the prime universe and its version of the character.
Thank you. I doubt I'll continue pursuing that train of thought in this challenge, but I might pursue it on my own or even in the Foundry--Demon Emperor Lelouch would be a VERY interesting bad guy.
Mainly trying to decide what his flagship would be--STO Lelouch is going to be in an Aventine-Class Multimission Recon Explorer, but I'm not sure if Demon Emperor Lelouch would have a similar ship or not...
Whatever the case, Demon Emperor Lelouch's Flagship would at least be a Carrier of some kind--just not sure what yet.
And there's my fourth entry. Went for something a little simpler this time. No epic battles, no rousing speeches, just a little bit of self-reflection on Bryan's part. Anyway, lemme know what you guys think!
Oh, and if you can guess what I was referencing, you get a cookie .
Comments
Imagine General Chang in Nausicaan form and you have a fairly good idea of what Krantak was intended to be like--very intelligent, well-spoken, strict, and highly controlled. Likely a speaker of three languages minimum. Pretty much everything you would NOT expect from a Nausicaan. Then again, perhaps someday I could write an LC entry showing what one of those Instigate Defection DOFF assignments would be like, since his disgust was so clear to me that I even saw him in a dream of mine, faced with the understanding that honor as HE saw it was not possible in Klingon-controlled space, and only with a minority of his own people, as well...
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Very nice entry, and a very unique perspective on your captain! I also liked the links to past stories your characters are referencing.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
For ease of reference/visualization, here're the actors I would cast if I was filming this tomorrow...
Rebecca Ravillious - Mimi Rogers
Naomi Chandler - Katherine Heigl
Ahmed Nasir - Shaun Toub
Paul Kane - Chris Noth
Thomas Hendricks - Gerard Butler
Adigeon Researcher - Paul Walker
Callum MacLeod - Adrian Paul
Adigeon Doctor - Sienna Guillory
Marcus Kane - Asa Butterfield
Alix Kane - Shyloh Oostwald
Wesley Cooper - Brad Pitt
Doctor Reynolds - Patrick J. Adams
Ah, finally the long-awaited origin story.
Dang, you weren't kidding when you said "not for the faint of heart." The anguish Marcus is feeling at the end there is so palpable, it practically reached from my computer screen and punched me in the gut.
I know it had to hurt to write that. It hurts just to read it. But let me say it was absolutely worth it.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
I hope Master Sovak, underneath his Vulcan composure, is someone with a lot of compassion, given that he specializes in those who have suffered traumas. Marcus will definitely need an approach that is both instructive and compassionate and respectful.
I'm surprised the Kanes weren't harder on Alix for her disquieting behavior, though, and then told Marcus it was normal or at least acceptable...
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Be warned: This one is quite long (30 pages in MS Word! :eek: ) so don't start reading it unless you have nothing to do for the next hour.
For LC14: Facility 4028 I went for a mission adaptation story with a unique twist.
When I started playing the game last year I leveled up my characters Jesu and Ssharki simultaneously, and synced their progress through the storyline missions. In my back story they were close friends before the war, and I'd always imagined them cooperating on the cross-faction Featured Episode missions, particularly the 2800 FE chain.
So this story is that scenario played out. You also get a much more in-depth look at Jesu LaRoca's mental state (self-deluded much?) and my own (sick) sense of humor. :P
PS: Bonus points if you figure out where all those names in the address box came from.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Dagnabit sander ... someone at work is going to notice all that paper is missing :P I'm going to take a chance ...
It was... emotional... but I'm glad that it was worth it if it explained things better and gave a better insight into Marcus' demons
That was a fantastic piece, thankyou for taking the time to put it together and share :cool:
Absolutely awesome use of characters and situations
[Edit to add]
I forgot to say, awesome CC list
"Miss Zain, you may now press the button that makes everyone die."
Me likey.
(A close second was Ssharki's response - "I want that button!")
I think the best way to describe Alix, is that she's essentially an Augment, without the 'optional extras' of heightened intelligence, coordination or strength, and would be somewhere on the Aspergers/autism spectrum, where her behavior is the acknowledged result of an untreatable condition, rather than simply 'bad behavior'. Not quite as disturbed or intense as Jack or Lauren, but certainly enough that friends and family would know that she 'had issues', and any outbursts or strange behaviour had to be accommodated as the symptoms of an unwell mind, rather than pure deviancy. At that point, her behavior would not have gone beyond sneaking into Marcus' bed and spending as much time with him as possible. Her parents would have talked to her about her behavior, but equally, have known that without the reason for her behavior, she would not have been alive in the first place, so simply cared for her as they would any child with special needs
I start laughing like a maniac every time I press this button :cool:
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
cmdrscarlet - your Ten Forward entry was also good. You always do a good job of capturing enough detail in the short stories to make them worthwhile.
I have written one more entry, this time based on LC 21, "Saying Hello." I've basically turned my ship into a soap opera, so it was only fitting that I show you the first interaction between one of the couples (Amanda Carpenter and Miguel Jarvis).
Even more of a surprise was that Alyosha decided to give me a look into his promotion to captain, and even a glimpse of the man he served under as first officer.
The last part is definitely inspired by a real song...I definitely encourage you to listen to get an idea of what I was driving at with this piece. In fact, I invite you to watch the video, too, because the musician's reactions provide a great visual translation of what's going on in the story, despite the fact that the actual visuals would not be so relatable.
The Mad Violinist takes on the Bassnectar remix of Ellie Goulding's "Lights"...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_5j0uzlYfo
Oh...and Captain Teeglar's species is the same one Keenser belongs to, from Star Trek XI. The name "Roylan" didn't come from the movie, but has been seen in some sources, so I went ahead and used it anyway.
I appreciate the comparison you're trying to draw, and IRL I agree that those with special needs should be treated with compassion.
Of course, IRL we do not have the ability to deliberately manipulate the genome to the extreme extent seen in Star Trek. I wonder if her parents had any idea of the kinds of side effects that could result from the Adigeons' treatments? There definitely seem to be a lot of ethical considerations surrounding it, especially since I didn't see anywhere where the physician warned her of possible crippling side effects--only held out a promise of a cure.
Then again, given what we know they did in canon, such a modus operandi would not surprise me at all, and might well have been your exact intention.
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I really wanted to try and reinforce that the less socially-acceptable aspects of her behavior were down to a condition she could not control, rather than simply intentional behavior.
(Historically speaking, 'twincest' occurs quite frequently in literature, even in Game of Thrones, and I needed Marcus to have a 'skeleton in his closet' of that magnitude to try and balance against the incredibility of his immortality. One legend, I forget which nation it is from, is that lovers who commit dual suicide are reincarnated as twins in their next lives...)
As a scientist, Rebecca would have known the risks associated with the accelerated critical neural pathway formation therapy which leads to Augments, which was why she was so vehement that no such enhancements be made, so that any potential side-effects be minimized.
To be fair, MacLeod was only her attendant Starfleet physician, not a specialist genetic engineer (although he did recognize the Lazarus Gene as being present in the twins) he may not have thought that the proposed procedure would have carried any of the risks associated with the usual Augment procedures, as none of the usual procedures were to be carried out. If the likes of Jack and Lauren are the likely result of 'the full works', it might have been considered an acceptable risk that Alix may have only experienced minor side-effects, due to the relatively 'minimal' work being done to the genetic structure, and that being considered preferable to a miscarriage. Sure, in terms of the organism, it was a total re-writing, but only re-writing to baseline norm, not enhancing anything beyond the norm.
Well... It was myintention that Alix's behavior be the result of a forced genetic re-structuring, as I wanted her to be a slightly more sympathetic character than simply viewed as a deliberately deviant individual, but it would not have been the Adigeon's (or MacLeod's) intention that she suffer any side-effects, as they were not performing any 'enhancement' surgery... Genetic engineering is held in two opposing views in Trek canon. While it is considered illegal, and any genetically enhanced individuals are forbidden from practicing medicine or serving in Starfleet, the loophole to that is that genetic engineering is permitted to correct any genetic defects. In this instance, Alix's defects were the result of potentially illegal research on the part of the Adigeons (or perhaps that was why thalaron research was banned in the Federation) so within the remit to be legally corrected. Of course, her resultant psych profile would have excluded her from Starfleet service regardless of her genetic status... To most people, she would have been nice as pie, and passably 'normal', except for the occasional off-color or brutally honest comment which a 'regular person' would have the social grace to know not to make. She would only have been outright nasty to any female she considered as being too close to Marcus, and thus represent a potential usurping of his affections, but even then, she would not have been dangerous like Jack was. She wouldn't have been institutionalized as Jack and Lauren had to be (interestingly, I've just remembered that they were accompanied by a Starfleet, not a civilian therapist...
While he isn't Keenser, he's of the same species, and I admit that his serious demeanor was inspired by Keenser's very deadpan, stoic handling of nuScotty's insanity. Teeglar is a serious man and it was very important to him that his crew get that point. He's not a total prig, but he does not care for being underestimated or dismissed by his subordinates. So in addition to his record, discussion with his superiors, and interviews with Alyosha himself, one of Teeglar's other reasons for choosing Alyosha was realizing that Alyosha can understand better than most why Teeglar expects certain things of him.
At first the sound was much more similar to...well...a Nazgul, or the scream of a bird of prey. Something that would probably result in calls to security wanting to know who just murdered, or what fell beast has invaded the ship.
But he's so steeped in Earth music that it doesn't take long for the Earth instruments to start coming out. He loves stringed instruments--though I think sometimes he also enjoys creating instruments with very specific, precise tones like the piano, that must be hit dead-on rather than sliding from note to note the way a stringed instrument does.
Definitely. I don't know how to explain this, but it just came to me as an image, with Teeglar and Alyosha walking side by side, and even just their body language told me everything I needed to know.
Yikes! I wonder if that's a Japanese legend? Maybe someone here knows...
I see...I didn't realize that. There are many kinds of scientists. Alyosha wouldn't have known much about it himself, for instance--not as a physicist with a specialty in temporal mechanics.
LOL, with a name like MacLeod I figured he recognized it.
Maybe. Still, my experience with having been operated on was one where the doctors had to discuss eeeeeeeevery risk, however slight. MacLeod might not have known better--but that Adigeon physician sure should have. I guess, though, that the Adigeons do not have an equivalent of the Hippocratic Oath. (Or they wouldn't have done the things they did to people, repeatedly and without regard to the risks.)
I understand what you mean about why the character was enhanced in the first place.
But I just had this feeling that the Adigeons' medical techniques are illegal for a reason, and that they might have a fundamentally different view of the medical profession. One that does not have the kinds of ethics ours does and therefore would not see it as a "big deal" to provide full disclosure. Repeatedly turning out "mistakes" like Patrick, Laura, and Jack (who are clearly not all the same age...I think Patrick's case would've been known before the operations on Laura and Jack) is something that on Earth would've stopped the research cold. (And did, when Khan was created.) But it clearly didn't bother the Adigeons, or they would've stopped.
At least personally, it makes the most sense that this was what got thalaron research banned...the Adigeons being foolhardy enough to test it on a populated world. (Another example of the cavalier attitude above? Which is why to me it seems like it all fits together into a complete and logical picture.)
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I really liked Teeglar, one rather got the impression of him being ten feet tall, and the kind of Captain whom people automatically follow, so to contrast that to him being the same species as Keenser is an excellent juxtaposition, and would make for another fascinating character
I must admit, as much as I love music, I actually couldn't listen to the entire track, as I found the violin physically uncomfortable (as much as I loved the more atmospheric qualities of the underlying track) so I think that's certainly a good confirmation that many people would find the Devidian language uncomfortable and unsettling to witness...
I can understand that, it must be an interesting ability to have, so it's easy to see how it could lead to such an interest in music ^_^
I know what you mean, I tend to get similar images when writing, ironically, especially when writing Cameron, a lot of who's communication would actually have come through bodylanguage and gesture, rather than vocalization (for the record, Pentaxians have the same kind of vocal range as the diva in the Fifth Element, and I imagine Alyosha would appreciate Pentaxian opera, which features tones both above and below the range of Human hearing)
It might be Japanese, I'm sure it's from the Asian region... I'll research and report back...
[Edit to add]
Just checked, and it is a Japanese myth...
Rebecca was something of a scientific jack of all trades like Spock, with a taste for gizmos and engineering thrown in. She would have read a lot of scientific publications to keep her knowledge base as broad as possible, and probably seen a few updates on SpaceBook of "Adigeon geneticists are manipulating YOUR children!!! Share if you are against this..."...
As a doctor, he would have been aware of the gene and the restrictions of informing carriers or their parents of its presence, and being a MacLeod, he had no doubt heard a few interesting family legends over the years
That was precisely my thoughts (although I had not actually considered the evidence of Patrick being much older than Lauren or Jack) that the Adigeons simply didn't care what they did with an attitude of "Well you paid us to do it...", combined with the attitude of some tattoo artists of "I did my job properly, it's not my fault you didn't heal it up properly...". That was why I figured that if any species would be foolhardy enough to mess with thalaron radiation, it would have been them... I think the Eden was probably there to assess what they were up to, much like the weapons inspectors in Iraq, rather than simply a 'friendly visit' to a Federation research facility... It just seems reasonable conjecture that they were extremely gifted scientists, but with very little of what others would consider moral scruples.
This is the thing, it would have had to be a 'system wide' genetic re-writing, but equally, I didn't want her to actually be an Augment, as there was not only no need for her to be enhanced, but equally, given their standing in Starfleet circles, Paul and Rebecca would certainly not been the kind of people to engage in illegal activities, where I always got the impression that Bashir's father was a bit of a roguish chancer (although of course, the fact that they had him enhanced to overcome his considerable learning difficulties, does show a more sympathetic light to their actions) Yes, I think had MacLeod actually known enough about the subject to anticipate the risks, he would have said something, even if it was just to let Rebecca know the risk, and let her weigh that against losing the child, which to be fair, she would never have done... Rebecca was very much a Warrior Mum who would have done anything for her children's well-being.
Fantastic concept for the time delay to be who the image of Bogart was chosen, but what a fantastic portrayal of him :cool:
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Very nice entry; great look at being "the new girl" from Lt. Carpenter's perspective.
@gulberat -
Beautifully written as always. The youtube clip you link nicely demonstrated Alyosha's musical range.
@ambassadormolari -
Another terrific piece! I really liked Ens. Saan's quirky predilection for gender-bending historical figures, and the Bogart entity was brilliantly constructed.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
I'll be honest, my inspiration came from the movie Contact (i haven't read the Carl Sagan novel yet), where the aliens make first contact with the earth by sending back one of Earth's earliest transmissions-- which, awkardly enough, was a televised speech by Adolf Hitler. Otherwise, thank you. I picked Bogart because he's the only actor from the era I could think of who was widely-known enough and had with sufficiently distinctive mannerisms, other than John Wayne. Or Groucho Marx, but that would have been utterly ridiculous.
Heh, true enough.
Weirdly enough, I think that would actually work.
Thanks.
Now that I've had the opportunity to read quite a few of these pieces, its my turn to do some commentary:
@cmdrscarlet: I really liked your Ten Forward piece. In particular, I like the unique way in which you managed to say a lot about Kathryn in this story without actually focusing on her. Well done!
@marcusdkane: As everyone has already mentioned, your story hits an emotional low blow, and a pretty powerful one. Otherwise, I think it was very well written, and gives us some much-needed explanation behind Marcus. Interesting that you chose as his origin point the same place where Julian Bashir was genetically engineered. Also, the bit with Rebecca leaving a disastrous experiment on during her wedding cracked me up.
@sander233: I loved your holodeck story! I like the idea of LaRoca using the holodeck as a means of coming to terms with his guilt and making use of a holographic confessor. Juxtaposing everything with a pirate ship and the Caribbean was a very nice touch as well. I am still in the process of reading your other two stories about LaRoca and Ssharki, but I like what I've read from them so far as well (though much from your second LaRoca story is sailing over my head, since I haven't played any of the Dominion missions yet).
Incidentally...
I see what you did there. :P
@gulberat: I will admit, the end bit was more than a little unexpected. It was, however, well written, and you conveyed Alyosha's reaction to the music wonderfully.
@sparklysoldier: Another excellent Azera story! Everything about your story came together really well-- the way you described Azera's reaction to the sensing the Collective in its entirety, your visual description of the Unicomplex, your handling of the Borg Queen, and especially Azera's reactions afterwards, all made the entire story shine.
Oh, and if you can guess what I was referencing, you get a cookie
EDIT:
Also, the song referenced by Bryan is this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nP5Gbm2XKc.
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Pfft...no big deal.
I think once people realize what Teeglar is like--which at first I think people tend to see through the behavior of his senior officers (because prejudice DOES still exist in the 25th century), they see that.
I definitely saw it in my first impression of Teeglar. It even affected Alyosha's body language. When I pictured him walking alongside Teeglar, he's straightened up and even seems to walk in a very "precise," military way. Not a march, but I think you know what I mean. Disciplined.
LOL, I have a very high tolerance for the unusual in music. I put it down to having synesthesia, which probably alters the aesthetic values I judge music by to at least some extent.
Of course Alyosha doesn't actually know the Devidian language...he was only raised with human languages. But if their language is in any way similar to that, yeah, I suspect it would scare some people.
I also think part of him, subconsciously, feels that music is how things are "supposed" to be.
But I also admit, I loved the idea of giving a trait like that to the Devidians. The potential that they squandered (most of them)...
I'm not sure how far his range extends. But he'll try anything at least once, musically speaking, unless it has offensive lyrics or something.
I think that while Alyosha has some basic idea of biology, the fact that so much of it he simply cannot personally relate to means that he doesn't follow it that closely.
That would make a lot of sense.
I can understand that. I guess I just figured I would've been pissed, if I had been in Rebecca's position and had reason to believe the Adigeons took advantage of my extreme emotional vulnerability in that moment to encourage a medical decision of that magnitude without full information.
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Thanks!
Hmm...sequel potential...
I wonder how Vic has developed since then. If he's broadened beyond his programming further to where he's comparable with the Doctor now...
Glad you liked it! Just curious...in what way was it unexpected?
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"Words build bridges into unexplored regions."
I think your choice of Bogart was perfect, but in terms of juxtaposition to the 25th Century, but also in your very recognizable portrayal of him
I'm sorry you felt it was a low blow, it was only my intention to show just what had emotionally crippled Marcus so severely, that Vulcan mental techniques were the only solution... :-\
I figured when one needs the best genetic engineering done, there would only be one realistic option, despite significant bad press in science journals... The challenge was in finding a reason why a Starfleet officer would actually need to have a child genetically engineered, for the results to be manifested as personality traits, and the rest just fell into place from there...
Glad to hear it had the desired effect
Yes, that makes sense, equally, I got the impression of Teeglar having the same kind of inner strength as Master Yoda, which immediately commands respect, regardless of his stature. I really hope that a future LC will allow him to make a guest appearance.
I've always liked stuff like Jean-Michel Jarre, and one time at school, our music teacher was substituted by one of the art teachers, and he said something like "That doesn't sound like music to me," to something being played with a SynthString sound, and I'd never been able to understand what he meant, until listening to that track, so even though it wasn't necessarily to my taste, it certainly taught me something :cool:
Absolutely so, a bit like the Adigeon's scientific genius, but without a moral compass to actually guide their work...
Far from it, it's very classy/highbrow stuff, just not palatable to those with a Human range of hearing, as much of the sequences in the infra and ultrasonic ranges would simply be perceived as extended periods of silence, interspersed with gutt-churning/teeth jangling swooping tones
That would make sense, if his field of expertise is more focused on the quantum and the temporal
I think Captain Nasir would have written some scathing reports to Command and the Federation Council as a result of the Eden's visit...
Just to clarify, I was meaning that Rebecca would have undergone the procedure to save the child's life even if the risks had been fully explained. Once Alix's behavioral issues became apparent, she would have known that any return to Adigeon Prime would have been futile, as the Adigeon's attitude would simply have been "We saved your child, don't complain about the job we did doing so, she could be worse off...", and was simply grateful to have a healthy child (although Marcus was always her favorite of the twins). I don't think it would be right to say that the Adigeon's don't care, I think they just have a very different idea about what to care about, and probably view Augment behavioral issues as an outcome so frequent with their procedures, that they may feel that warning people of them would be like saying "This food can be unhealthy," everytime someone buys a Big Mac, so not something to concern themselves with...
Thank you. I doubt I'll continue pursuing that train of thought in this challenge, but I might pursue it on my own or even in the Foundry--Demon Emperor Lelouch would be a VERY interesting bad guy.
Mainly trying to decide what his flagship would be--STO Lelouch is going to be in an Aventine-Class Multimission Recon Explorer, but I'm not sure if Demon Emperor Lelouch would have a similar ship or not...
Whatever the case, Demon Emperor Lelouch's Flagship would at least be a Carrier of some kind--just not sure what yet.
Nice entry :cool: Was it a reference to the creation of the universe?