@BorrowedTune: I got no problem with the criticisms; a lot of the stuff I did in this mission has proven mildly controversial. Most of the dialog quirks (the naval lingo especially) were a design decision for greater emphasis on the fact that this is mostly a mil-SF mission.
As long as the guy is nice about it, nitpicks in my view are things I need to at least look at fixing.
Consider changing this cumbersome line ("this should be a pretty run-of-the-mill civil defense patrol posting") to "This posting will be a run-of-the-mill, civil defense patrol."
Makes sense.
Prose style? As opposed to? What I believe you are trying to say is that this mission is written in the 3rd person and not in 2nd person? Why explain this? If you feel the need for a "disclaimer," leave it at "unconventional" and make me want to know more.
Some people were complaining early on about the scripts being written with some character actions described in dialog, as in, "The character does something and says, 'Blah blah blah.'" So I mentioned it in the description to warn people ahead of time.
Remove the "Skirmish" reference. The way this sounds now, saying "one interaction," makes me think this is not very important and you just wasted my time. If it's important, simply say something like "this mission is based upon events that unfolded during 'Skirmish."
Yeah, I can probably drop that. All it is, is Grell mentioning that Franklin Drake told him about you.
Skipper? Seriously? Skipper? I've got a bad feeling about this. OK, let me explain why this is bad. First, this is a huge departure from what we know of Starfleet terminology. No Starfleet Captain we've ever seen has been called "skipper" by his crew. The only one I can think of resides on Gilligan's Island. Second, this is my BOFF speaking to me. The use of "skipper" might pass as some quirky character trait if this was some new npc I had never encountered before. Lastly, this is the grant mission dialogue. You haven't earned my trust yet to depart from canon or conventional military/starfleet terminology. "Skipper," in common, modern usage, refers to someone in command of a commercial vessel. My character is no fisherman and this level of informality is not acceptable.
I was under the apparently mistaken impression that "Skipper" was an acceptable familiar equivalent of "Captain" aboard ships of some navies. It is in some of the mil-SF I read. But having browsed Wikipedia apparently the closest to that in real navies is that it used to be the name of one grade of warrant officer in the Royal Navy.
"I spoke with Admiral Marconi's adjutant and he's out of his office right now." You just told me the adjutant is out of the office.
Ok, yeah, a little subject/verb ambiguity there.
Hmm... crumpled paper. Well, I guess it's ok that Starfleet has chosen to use such ancient technology for this report because whatever was in it was so meaningless that the Admiral pelts random station visitors with it.
Rule of Funny. You can't crumple a PADD. Also there's that joke in Babylon 5 where one guy complains that every time they say they're going paperless, he gets three more forms to fill out.
Consider changing "You recognize the telltales of a Cardassian phaser hit" to "the telltale sign of." And for reference, the last thing I would think of when seeing a "phaser hit" would be Cardassians, making it quite the opposite of "telltale."
I was working off of Memory Alpha's description of Galor-class ships' armament. They're described as using both phasers and disruptors in the show. Cardie mobs in the game likewise have both.
Both the Ferasan and the Naussican have the same exact dialogue and text.
Yeah, I wasn't feeling very creative when I wrote those. All the miners do.
You made specific mention of the Gorn following local practices to transmit his ship's manifest as "payment" for help. Yet, this is forgotten after I rescue the ship.
Well, as a Starfleet officer you're helping out of duty, not expectation of payment.
Also, the Gorn animates a 'warp out" after telling me he plans to fly to DS9 on a single impulse engine.
The idea was he only needs one impulse engine to dock once he gets there. But it's ambiguous and I've been meaning to adjust that so he heads to the mining operation's space station instead. Just haven't gotten around to it.
"Maximum military power?" In Star Trek, we call that "warp factor 9." If you are trying to reference Starfleet's general order not to exceed warp 6 except in emergencies, then be specific.
That's a term I picked up from the Honor Harrington novels, honestly, equivalent to "maximum possible speed".
And that order was forgotten almost as soon as they wrote it. DS9 routinely has the Defiant traveling between locations at warp 8, and the Enterprise-D typically cruises at warp 7. Speeds above warp 9 are more often treated as unsafe because it's hard on your ship, not because it's some technobabbly environmental hazard.
Console in transporter room says "interact." Consider changing to "Access LCARS" or something. Same with the console in the warp core room. Did i just read the bio of all your toons?
As I mentioned to Evil70th when he complained about this, there's no option currently available to change the interact button for default dialog on objects. Trust me, I looked very hard. I even tried linking a trigger to the console and it didn't help. And no, that's just the bios of some of the NPCs in the mission.
Now, my Fed character does show up (she's the Bajoran titled "The Dungeon Master" who appears when you beam out at the end), and the S.S. Shargrash appears in the backstory of my KDF character (he booked passage on it a few times, and his wife used to work on the ship as chief engineer), but the first is me using her as my avatar OOC, and the second I decided on well after publishing this.
"Silent running?" Another forced term. If you are going to use it, expand and explain what that would mean in the context of a starship. The best way to do this with your current dialogue would be for the BOFF to explain what "silent running mode" is without actually saying "silent running," then have the player call it "silent running" when giving the order. That would make the player seem cool.
I actually did, in the corresponding player dialog option ("Let's put a damper on all EM signatures, people."). "Silent running" for a submarine means being quiet so other vessels' passive sonar can't pick you up. There's no sound in space, obviously, so in this situation "silent running" means minimizing your EM signature so you're hard to spot on passive sensors.
Who is Master Chief Wiggin? Interesting. I have my first suspect as leader of the "skipper conspiracy" and the one who may be subverting my officers.
Ha ha. He's the noncom operating the sensors station on your bridge. He showed up as Master Chief Operations Specialist Peter Wiggin on the Dreon VII space map.
A transwarp gate to the badlands?
The Badlands are repeatedly noted as difficult to safely navigate due to the plasma storms, especially if you're a big, not-so-nimble ship like a Galor-class (as demonstrated in VOY: "Caretaker") or, in this case, Orion and Gorn capital ships. Using a transwarp conduit in an obscure location also has the advantage of helping hide your comings and goings, important for a pirate operation.
Shuttle One? You name everything else in the mission... but not the shuttle... all shuttles in Star Trek have names.
Ok, I'll change that. I knew they named runabouts but I honestly couldn't remember if they bothered to name shuttles in the 24th-25th century. (I remembered the Ent-Nil's shuttle Galileo, but I figured Starfleet would have to have so many shuttles at this point they might've run out of astronomers.)
Mothership?
Standard sci-fi term for the ship that launches small craft. EDIT: Also, tags don't work in dialog options so I can't use [ShipName].
I lost the crate dialogue after a giant Gorn attacked my away team. Consider pushing that mob back a little.
Yeah, I ran into that problem last night when I ran it with a friend. I need to move either the mobs or the crates.
Spooks?
Spies.
I am given the option of calling the Cardassian "Sir or Captain." It seems this is an important distinction. One worthy of a branching dialogue option. Why not the option of "Skipper?"
Because as previously mentioned, in my head, "Skipper" was a familiar form of address. You don't know Captain Zell well enough to call him that. But I think I'm going to go back through and remove the use of "Skipper" in the mission.
I let "greenskin" slide when the Bajorans said it... but a Starfleet Admiral? The joke doesn't work when the set-up takes you out your suspension of disbelief.
Yeah, that can be dropped.
Does Section 31 report to Starfleet Command?
Some problems take diplomats to talk them to death. Some take spies to sneak around back and stab them. Some take boots on the ground or starships to shoot them. Some take a scientist to technobabble them. You can't use one tool for the other problem. Despite what J.J. Abrams seems to think, Section 31 is an intelligence agency, not a military organization like Starfleet. Grell sent the data to Starfleet Command so they could dispatch a ship to handle the problem the data indicated.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
As I mentioned to Evil70th when he complained about this, there's no option currently available to change the interact button for default dialog on objects. Trust me, I looked very hard. I even tried linking a trigger to the console and it didn't help. And no, that's just the bios of some of the NPCs in the mission.
Hi Star!
Actually... You're able to rename certain Interacts!! I've used this technique very extensively on CSG2 and will show you how you can do it yourself!
1) Add a "Popup Dialog" on the map, it doesn't matter where you place it.
2) Open the Dialog and you could see two tabs; General and States.
3) To connect a dialog on an object, use these options: when "Component complete" => select the object to interact with.
4) Go and click on the object on your map (this case object #671). A new tab "Triggers" has appeared.
5) You can now rename the "Interact Text" the way you want it to be.
That's quite the paradox, how could you nerf nerf when the nerf is nerfed. But how would the nerf be nerfed when the nerf is nerfed? This allows the nerf not to be nerfed since the nerf is nerfed? But if the nerf isn't nerfed, it could still nerf nerfs. But as soon as the nerf is nerfed, the nerf power is lost. So paradoxally it the nerf nerf lost its nerf, while it's still nerfed, which cannot be because the nerf was unable to nerf.
Rule of Funny. You can't crumple a PADD. Also there's that joke in Babylon 5 where one guy complains that every time they say they're going paperless, he gets three more forms to fill out.
Some problems take diplomats to talk them to death. Some take spies to sneak around back and stab them. Some take boots on the ground or starships to shoot them. Some take a scientist to technobabble them. You can't use one tool for the other problem. Despite what J.J. Abrams seems to think, Section 31 is an intelligence agency, not a military organization like Starfleet. Grell sent the data to Starfleet Command so they could dispatch a ship to handle the problem the data indicated.
My only problem with this is in DS9, Sloan specifically says S31 was in the original Starfleet charter, suggesting they are a part of Starfleet.
I think I'll do a review of Bait and switch myself, actually. I find a certain enjoyment in mil-SF missions.
My only problem with this is in DS9, Sloan specifically says S31 was in the original Starfleet charter, suggesting they are a part of Starfleet.
Their position is more than a little ambiguous but I interpret them as the black ops branch of Starfleet Intelligence, which is still an intelligence agency even though it's under Starfleet's managerial umbrella. (It's kind of the Star Trek equivalent of ONI.)
@Stoutes: I'll give that a shot (I really would love to fix that), but you seem to be under the impression that I'm using map popups for the NPC dossiers. I'm not; I'm using object default dialogue.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
@Stoutes: I'll give that a shot (I really would love to fix that), but you seem to be under the impression that I'm using map popups for the NPC dossiers. I'm not; I'm using object default dialogue.
No, I'm not under the impression you're using that. I've been struggling with dialogs/interactions/interact titles myself. And what I've posted is what helped me getting a different title than the usual "Interact".
And that's why I posted my solution to that problem which I used excessively on CSG2 .
That's quite the paradox, how could you nerf nerf when the nerf is nerfed. But how would the nerf be nerfed when the nerf is nerfed? This allows the nerf not to be nerfed since the nerf is nerfed? But if the nerf isn't nerfed, it could still nerf nerfs. But as soon as the nerf is nerfed, the nerf power is lost. So paradoxally it the nerf nerf lost its nerf, while it's still nerfed, which cannot be because the nerf was unable to nerf.
No, I'm not under the impression you're using that. I've been struggling with dialogs/interactions/interact titles myself. And what I've posted is what helped me getting a different title than the usual "Interact".
And that's why I posted my solution to that problem which I used excessively on CSG2 .
Thing is, I already tried linking Component Complete to an invisible object. I got the triggers tab on the console to appear and changed the text and animation, but when I went to test in preview mode it still said "Interact".
EDIT: Nope, no effect in preview mode, and I tried both a crate on another part of the map and a popup dialog. The console still says "Interact", except now I have a useless popup after closing it.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
The first half of the mission is fairly slow, but that's fine. I prefer missions that take the time early on to establish themselves. The unorthodox writing style took some getting used to, but it's not a big enough deal to warrant any changes.
I really enjoyed the abundance of branching dialogue and multiple dialog options. It's something I've tried to incorporate into more of my missions. The one thing I would say is that it's slightly awkward to be talking like a human when I'm playing a Vulcan , but that's to be expected and I'm not going to insist you tear your hair out to give a Vulcan-ised version of each dialog option.
I liked Captain Zell's comment about an acting ensign. I assume that was a jab at Wesley Crusher (even though I personally liked Wesley). It makes me smile to see little in-jokes in missions. Same for the comment about escorts.
Combat was enjoyable. Map design was pretty solid as well.
One thing; I noticed the Bajoran Militia troops were wearing a Starfleet mockup of the Bajoran uniforms. I thought the Bajoran uniforms had been added as a Foundry asset? Or, at least, I think they were when I last used the Foundry.
One other thing; the battle in 'Way of the Warrior' isn't typically counted as a battle for DS9. I just think it'll be a tad confusing to refer to the Battle of DS9 (A call to arms) as the 'second' one instead of the first.
In all honesty, 'Way of the Warrior' was more of a skirmish.
Anyways...
I enjoyed the banter between bridge officers.
Nice reference with the U.S.S. Ivanova, by the way.
My first gameplay problem; clipped after pulling the airlock manual override lever on the... well... the airlock manual override lever. *Groan*. You might want to change it to an actual console or have the airlock close automatically using a reach marker. Now I have to go through every map change since the Malon system to get back to that point (thanks, Cryptic. :rolleyes:).
Finally, during the debriefing, Grell mentions he passed information onto Starfleet Command. While S31 obviously has support within SFC, most of Starfleet Command denies they even exist. Maybe Grell passes it onto someone in SFC through Franklin Drake, but I have reservations about whether he'd do it himself, much less confirm our suspicions about S31 having supporters in Command. Aside from that, it's good.
Overall, a very enjoyable mission to the average player. Just a few things I'd change.
***
Any chance I can get 'Return of the Maquis' added to the review list, Zorbane?
Thing is, I already tried linking Component Complete to an invisible object. I got the triggers tab on the console to appear and changed the text and animation, but when I went to test in preview mode it still said "Interact".
EDIT: Nope, no effect in preview mode, and I tried both a crate on another part of the map and a popup dialog. The console still says "Interact", except now I have a useless popup after closing it.
Have you tried removing the dialog of the object itself? It has to work, because half my mission is based on this. Not only 2, but parts of the revamp part of 1 as well.
That's quite the paradox, how could you nerf nerf when the nerf is nerfed. But how would the nerf be nerfed when the nerf is nerfed? This allows the nerf not to be nerfed since the nerf is nerfed? But if the nerf isn't nerfed, it could still nerf nerfs. But as soon as the nerf is nerfed, the nerf power is lost. So paradoxally it the nerf nerf lost its nerf, while it's still nerfed, which cannot be because the nerf was unable to nerf.
I liked Captain Zell's comment about an acting ensign. I assume that was a jab at Wesley Crusher (even though I personally liked Wesley). It makes me smile to see little in-jokes in missions. Same for the comment about escorts.
Yeah, that was me tweaking the noses of Paramount and Cryptic for a quick laugh. I wrote this well before season 8, when the game was still getting called "Escorts Online". (I've always been a cruiser fan.)
One thing; I noticed the Bajoran Militia troops were wearing a Starfleet mockup of the Bajoran uniforms. I thought the Bajoran uniforms had been added as a Foundry asset? Or, at least, I think they were when I last used the Foundry.
No, we don't have Bajoran uniforms, though I wish we did (I'd change the Militia guys over in a heartbeat). Kitbashing Antares 3 and TWOK was the best I could do.
One other thing; the battle in 'Way of the Warrior' isn't typically counted as a battle for DS9. I just think it'll be a tad confusing to refer to the Battle of DS9 (A call to arms) as the 'second' one instead of the first.
In all honesty, 'Way of the Warrior' was more of a skirmish.
Mem Alpha counts it, and it consists of a full Klingon battle group making a concerted attack on the station. Now, granted, it was relatively short and ended in a draw, with neither side inflicting particularly heavy losses on the other and Gowron retreating when Starfleet reinforcements arrived, but I consider it big enough for the word "battle".
Nice reference with the U.S.S. Ivanova, by the way.
Glad you noticed that! That's only one of the little shout-outs and continuity nods I stuck in. Just for starters the USS Kyle Brennan that Zell mentions is named after the player character of X: Beyond the Frontier, and the USS Hanson in the Marduk Battle Group is named after Admiral J.P. Hanson, who was killed at Wolf 359.
My first gameplay problem; clipped after pulling the airlock manual override lever on the... well... the airlock manual override lever. *Groan*. You might want to change it to an actual console or have the airlock close automatically using a reach marker. Now I have to go through every map change since the Malon system to get back to that point (thanks, Cryptic. :rolleyes:).
Could you be a little more specific? Who got clipped and how?
Finally, during the debriefing, Grell mentions he passed information onto Starfleet Command. While S31 obviously has support within SFC, most of Starfleet Command denies they even exist. Maybe Grell passes it onto someone in SFC through Franklin Drake, but I have reservations about whether he'd do it himself, much less confirm our suspicions about S31 having supporters in Command. Aside from that, it's good.
Well, in addition to my above explanation of how S31 is an intelligence agency, not a military organization, there's this rationale: Per ENT, Section 31 has been around since before the Federation was even created. They're not a new organization. And with the stuff they're known to get up to, do you honestly think they'd have lasted that long if somebody upstairs didn't think they were necessary? Now, they're definitely a case of No Such Agency, but in real life even secret organizations within a government get some level of governmental oversight. (Fun fact: During the first four years of its existence the National Security Agency was also officially denied to exist, as was the UK's Secret Intelligence Service, a.k.a. MI-6, for most of its history.)
TL;DR: I took the various hints scattered around the canon and followed them to what I felt was a logical conclusion. There are definitely other interpretations, but that's mine.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Could you be a little more specific? Who got clipped and how?
I did...:o
Basically, on the space station map when you get off the shuttle, there's the lever you have to pull to reseal the airlock. Well, when I pulled that lever, my character was suddenly trapped in the collision mesh, jumping around with half his torso trapped in the lever... or should that be the other way around?
Not my greatest moment.
Obviously, the problem is that in order to have actions like that, we need to despawn an object and then spawn in a new one, which means you're despawning one collision mesh and replacing it with a differently configured one. It's only a problem when you get up close, but because I'm a bit of an RP'er (not to mention a perfectionist) I got about as close as I possibly could before I pulled the lever.
Might be something to look into. I know there's not much you can do about it without removing the switch, but is there a specific reason there can only be a console inside the airlock?
^Ouch. Reminds me of something that happened to me in "Keeping Up with the J'Sens". I ended up stuck in that moving bed.
The idea is that a "manual override" should actually be manual, in this case a mechanical lever that you pull to close and seal the airlock by mechanical force (or mechanically close the electrical circuit that operates the motor, or however you want it to work). And you hotwired the airlock door previously to get past a security system (which I probably should've explained better).
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
- The missions I found to be really good. There was only one or two times I asked my self if a Romulan would really say this? However I don't remember the exact place (why there is a video.)
Map design is good.
Combat was a little too unrealistic and too easy.
However I found no overall real game breaking bugs or problems. I gave the mission 5 stars.
i love the thought by Amahood at the end too anything that makes me think is good any reaction is the goal of an author so you succeeded.
----
If anyone would like to review my mission I just published recently called Cube 571.
As suggested, I deployed Vice Admiral Kaylee, Reman Tactical Officer, for this critical mission.
Mission Description: Put the location of the mission door in here somewhere, preferably in green text. Also, consider using tags and separate paragraphs for instructions to the player. Most of the description is "in character," which is good. The "out of character" stuff should be separated.
Grant Mission Dialog: Is this a shuttle mission? If it is, just make it clear right at the beginning.
Contact at Quark's: Strange to see quotation marks around the speech. They are not needed. But I liked the exchange.
Board freighter: Not exactly easy to find this door. There's no marker on the map. Why not make this door in the shipyard? It's a recognizable destination for the player and I had to head there anyway to prep my shuttle.
Freighter: I like the crate "maze" idea.
Crash Map: Fun fights.
Cave: I like where the story is heading. Wait... was I supposed to bring my EV suit?
Base: Doesn't this Reman Commander deserve a name by now? There are Cardassians stuck in the ceiling in the final room. Again, fun fights. Perhaps consider having some friendlies for some of these fights. Seems weird that my Reman buddies won't help.
Space Map: I like the map design. 6 waves of scorpion fighters? You are a TRIBBLE. Why did Starfleet show up? Reskin the helpers.
Final Thoughts: A fun mission with challenging combat. Could use a little polishing but overall it's a nice change of pace (shuttle pew pew) with an interesting story that ties into STO's Reman storyline quite nicely. That's what makes this mission stand out from the rest. 5 stars.
@borrowedtune: I've made the suggested changes. I also added a little more to the plot to hopefully give the pew pew more purpose.
"Crewman, your resume says you are telepathic. Then could you please explain to me why you failed in your attempt to confiscate contraband from the crew?!"
First off: Put capitals in the title. Makes it seem more professional and polished. Minor quip, but we judge books by their covers.
Erm... warp into a new system and no contact? No information on what we are suppose to be doing? And this map solely exist to get us the 10 kilometers from the transwarp gate to the station. That first map can either be cut out, or you can add some objectives in there that make it worth the loadtime.
I beam in and still have no idea what i am doing. You could have the transport officer pop in and tell me that L'var is waiting for me in this office. Give us signpost, character to help push us along in the story. I should only be using my map if I am lost.
"Interact" button on a console in the Space station, next to the Undine. I'm not even sure what console this is or what it does?
BIIIIIG Empty space on the Space station map. Maybe fill it in with people or cargo? I doubt they would waste that much space on ship models.
Add a variety of responses to dialogue. Not every plays a pensive blue Picard-like captain.
Vulcans.. smirking... what?
Again, have L'var TELL us where the Comms officer is before he kicks us out. WE have not been to this station before. It would not be that unheard of.
"Just don't use any Vulcan mind melds on me..." We are half a quadrant apart...
???? and i thought it was mentioned that Garek went back to Cardassia to help rebuilt the government.
Why are we suddenly changing course back to DS9 after going to Gamma Orionis... THose two aren't exactly close. Your hook is not deep enough to pull me 100s of light years off my course. This could be better if we skipped the whole mysterious trip to the deep space research lab to speak to old friends. and started out closer to where we actually start.
Also, the space map is again nearly useless. No need to handwalk us the entire length of the journey to DS9. you can make another map with DS9 and wapr us in right on top of it.
Your markers need to be bigger. I cannot see where I am suppose to stop.
I'm now into my thrid map and i still have little idea what I am doing in this story or why? What is at stake? why should I care?
Why is there a Carassian walking around on the transporter pad?
Tholians aren't peaceful. They are Xenophobic and as war with the rest of the Galaxy. THey would not be about on a trading port.
Why would i not be a fan of EMHs? They are fun, quirky and useful. Why should I suddenly dislike them?
Why am I ducking out of a medical quarantine? A) I am a responsible citizen. I am a starfleet officer. Surely I have some sort of override powers here.
Why do i have to jump across the way to contact my ship??? dampening field??? Jammed comms??? Dead batttery??? something???
Platforming.. Nice in some games but STO is not really built for it as you cannot grab ledges, climb or straff properly. As such I am stuck halfway through and cannot complete this mission
Overall... Needs a more cohesive plot. Need more anchors and people telling us where to go. Less useless maps, rail roading characters. I can tell you were focused on the Platforming experience around the city and making grand maps. but that is only half of the foundry. Review your story and add more reasons to it. You have to take in account that many people think of their characters in different ways, so you kinda have to leave the center, the main character, open for anyone to step into.
Live on Earth. Work in Space. Play with Dragons. Join the best add on to STO, the Neverwinter holodeck program! Only 14 GPL a month.
First off: Put capitals in the title. Makes it seem more professional and polished. Minor quip, but we judge books by their covers.
Erm... warp into a new system and no contact? No information on what we are suppose to be doing? And this map solely exist to get us the 10 kilometers from the transwarp gate to the station. That first map can either be cut out, or you can add some objectives in there that make it worth the loadtime.
I beam in and still have no idea what i am doing. You could have the transport officer pop in and tell me that L'var is waiting for me in this office. Give us signpost, character to help push us along in the story. I should only be using my map if I am lost.
"Interact" button on a console in the Space station, next to the Undine. I'm not even sure what console this is or what it does?
BIIIIIG Empty space on the Space station map. Maybe fill it in with people or cargo? I doubt they would waste that much space on ship models.
Add a variety of responses to dialogue. Not every plays a pensive blue Picard-like captain.
Vulcans.. smirking... what?
Again, have L'var TELL us where the Comms officer is before he kicks us out. WE have not been to this station before. It would not be that unheard of.
"Just don't use any Vulcan mind melds on me..." We are half a quadrant apart...
???? and i thought it was mentioned that Garek went back to Cardassia to help rebuilt the government.
Why are we suddenly changing course back to DS9 after going to Gamma Orionis... THose two aren't exactly close. Your hook is not deep enough to pull me 100s of light years off my course. This could be better if we skipped the whole mysterious trip to the deep space research lab to speak to old friends. and started out closer to where we actually start.
Also, the space map is again nearly useless. No need to handwalk us the entire length of the journey to DS9. you can make another map with DS9 and wapr us in right on top of it.
Your markers need to be bigger. I cannot see where I am suppose to stop.
I'm now into my thrid map and i still have little idea what I am doing in this story or why? What is at stake? why should I care?
Why is there a Carassian walking around on the transporter pad?
Tholians aren't peaceful. They are Xenophobic and as war with the rest of the Galaxy. THey would not be about on a trading port.
Why would i not be a fan of EMHs? They are fun, quirky and useful. Why should I suddenly dislike them?
Why am I ducking out of a medical quarantine? A) I am a responsible citizen. I am a starfleet officer. Surely I have some sort of override powers here.
Why do i have to jump across the way to contact my ship??? dampening field??? Jammed comms??? Dead batttery??? something???
Platforming.. Nice in some games but STO is not really built for it as you cannot grab ledges, climb or straff properly. As such I am stuck halfway through and cannot complete this mission
Overall... Needs a more cohesive plot. Need more anchors and people telling us where to go. Less useless maps, rail roading characters. I can tell you were focused on the Platforming experience around the city and making grand maps. but that is only half of the foundry. Review your story and add more reasons to it. You have to take in account that many people think of their characters in different ways, so you kinda have to leave the center, the main character, open for anyone to step into.
Your review seems to suggest you have not read the opening dialog or any dialog. I feel like I was just trolled by a 17 year old boy. There is a long tradition for starfleet captains to never abandon their crew and that is the point of the plot. Anyhow I am not interested in your feedback as it seems you are looking to troll or argue.
A TIME TO SEARCH: ENTER MY FOUNDRY MISSION at the RISA SYSTEM Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
Your review seems to suggest you have not read the opening dialog or any dialog. I feel like I was just trolled by a 17 year old boy. There is a long tradition for starfleet captains to never abandon their crew and that is the point of the plot. Anyhow I am not interested in your feedback as it seems you are looking to troll or argue.
Just because someone doesn't like your mission doesn't mean you should reject what they say. I don't see anything in the review that looks like trolling.
Just because someone doesn't like your mission doesn't mean you should reject what they say. I don't see anything in the review that looks like trolling.
I found the entire tone rude,disagreeable and overly critical. Sometimes I feel foundry author are sometimes held to a higher standard than commercial game developers... Anyhow I have already responded to a lot of feedback on this mission. This reviewer takes an opposite stance to other reviewers on some issues. Mostly he seems too rushed and impatient. I mean criticizing me because he thinks a room needs some crates in it? He also failed to read major plot points and then criticized me on them. Overall the review is inaccurate. I am not hot under the collar over this I just don't likethe tone of his review and disagree with most of it.
As a reviewer myself I always factor in the time and effort needed to craft foundry missions and also the bugs that can curse them.
A TIME TO SEARCH: ENTER MY FOUNDRY MISSION at the RISA SYSTEM Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
First off: Put capitals in the title. Makes it seem more professional and polished. Minor quip, but we judge books by their covers.
The title is bugged. I cannot capitalize it.
Erm... warp into a new system and no contact? No information on what we are suppose to be doing? And this map solely exist to get us the 10 kilometers from the transwarp gate to the station. That first map can either be cut out, or you can add some objectives in there that make it worth the loadtime.
This map was one I did not initially want however it was suggested by a reviewer that I should establish the location exterior instead of going from transwarp to beaming to an interior map. It has no extra objective so as not to add to the length of the mission.
I beam in and still have no idea what i am doing. You could have the transport officer pop in and tell me that L'var is waiting for me in this office. Give us signpost, character to help push us along in the story. I should only be using my map if I am lost.
While this may help the story some,this is a very small map you cannot get lost on it. Cryptic missions require using the minimap all the time. I don't see the need to hold your hand on this simple interior map.
"Interact" button on a console in the Space station, next to the Undine. I'm not even sure what console this is or what it does?
You probably never clicked on it.
BIIIIIG Empty space on the Space station map. Maybe fill it in with people or cargo? I doubt they would waste that much space on ship models.
On the internet all caps denotes yelling. Why would you yell at me about the corridor surrounding the turbolift?
Again, have L'var TELL us where the Comms officer is before he kicks us out. WE have not been to this station before. It would not be that unheard of.
Once again this is not a large map.
???? and i thought it was mentioned that Garek went back to Cardassia to help rebuilt the government.
Yes the communication is patched through from Cardassia. This is explained.....
Why are we suddenly changing course back to DS9 after going to Gamma Orionis... THose two aren't exactly close. Your hook is not deep enough to pull me 100s of light years off my course. This could be better if we skipped the whole mysterious trip to the deep space research lab to speak to old friends. and started out closer to where we actually start.
You are not travelling to DS9. If you actually read the the dialogue you would know this. Second Transwarp travel means the distances are not far apart.
Also, the space map is again nearly useless. No need to handwalk us the entire length of the journey to DS9. you can make another map with DS9 and warp us in right on top of it.
I used one map to simulate travel between two systems. It saved time.
Your markers need to be bigger. I cannot see where I am suppose to stop.
I used the largest asset available to me in the foundry.
I'm now into my thrid map and i still have little idea what I am doing in this story or why? What is at stake? why should I care?
From your comments I can only conclude this is because you did not read the dialogue. I will admit that I probably have not set up a feeling of suspenseyet in the story though.
Why is there a Carassian walking around on the transporter pad?
Tholians aren't peaceful. They are Xenophobic and as war with the rest of the Galaxy. THey would not be about on a trading port.
The fact that Tholian silk is a commodity made me think that some of them might be more friendly.
Why would i not be a fan of EMHs? They are fun, quirky and useful. Why should I suddenly dislike them?
This is just another question that sounds like trolling. No one likes a doctor's check up.
Why am I ducking out of a medical quarantine? A) I am a responsible citizen. I am a starfleet officer. Surely I have some sort of override powers here.
Time is a very important factor.
Why do i have to jump across the way to contact my ship??? dampening field??? Jammed comms??? Dead batttery??? something???
I did mean to explain that.
Platforming.. Nice in some games but STO is not really built for it as you cannot grab ledges, climb or straff properly. As such I am stuck halfway through and cannot complete this mission
This is a very simple jumping puzzle. I have done it lying on my couch with one hand on the keyboard. There is also an alternate path with no jumping or failing that, you can walk to the base of the tower and beam to the next map.
Overall... [/B]Needs a more cohesive plot. Need more anchors and people telling us where to go. Less useless maps, rail roading characters. I can tell you were focused on the Platforming experience around the city and making grand maps. but that is only half of the foundry. Review your story and add more reasons to it. You have to take in account that many people think of their characters in different ways, so you kinda have to leave the center, the main character, open for anyone to step into.
I do see some of the points you have made regarding this mission. Your review style is blunt and rubs me the wrong way. What i take away from this review is it may be better to set up an air of danger for the missing crewmen and establish more so that they need to be rescued as soon as possible.
A TIME TO SEARCH: ENTER MY FOUNDRY MISSION at the RISA SYSTEM Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
First off, a caveat - it took me a lot longer to play this than it should have. I think the Foundry waypoints might be bugged again (for space at least). All of the mission objective markers in your space maps were way off from where the actual marker was. I had to run around 3 space maps on a pixel hunt to find the right objective area. Don't think that's your fault, but the scarcity of objects on your map made it hard to determine where I had been.
Now, onto the review. Not a bad mission. The maps are a bit sparse and the story is a bit cliched, otherwise I think the mechanics are solid (barring the bugs that seem to be there).
1. Maps are too sparse - some of your space maps have one object in them. Maybe add some asteroids or something in
2. Spawn points are too far away from the objective points - I shouldn't have to fly half way across a map to interact with something
3. Story is cliched - the story seems hackneyed: almost a point for point rip from the DS9 Maquis episodes; you're going close to if not crossing over the boundary between homage and copy
4. Too many map transitions - this is kind of the pot calling the kettle black as I am guilty of this too, but you have quite a few maps with "Random Pop Up" followed by "Quickly warp to next map!" I spend more time on the loading screen than the actual map. Maybe add something else to a few of them like "scan anomalies" or something.
So, the positive things:
1. Mechanics are solid - your objectives, pop ups, etc. are great. You have the mechanics down
2. Story - despite being pretty close to the Maquis episodes of DS9 (bordering on a copy), the suspense and motivations are good which helps make the story better
3. Characters - your characters are interesting and dynamic
4. CRAZY ADMIRAL!!!! - always a good choice
First off, a caveat - it took me a lot longer to play this than it should have. I think the Foundry waypoints might be bugged again (for space at least). All of the mission objective markers in your space maps were way off from where the actual marker was. I had to run around 3 space maps on a pixel hunt to find the right objective area. Don't think that's your fault, but the scarcity of objects on your map made it hard to determine where I had been.
Now, onto the review. Not a bad mission. The maps are a bit sparse and the story is a bit cliched, otherwise I think the mechanics are solid (barring the bugs that seem to be there).
1. Maps are too sparse - some of your space maps have one object in them. Maybe add some asteroids or something in
2. Spawn points are too far away from the objective points - I shouldn't have to fly half way across a map to interact with something
3. Story is cliched - the story seems hackneyed: almost a point for point rip from the DS9 Maquis episodes; you're going close to if not crossing over the boundary between homage and copy
4. Too many map transitions - this is kind of the pot calling the kettle black as I am guilty of this too, but you have quite a few maps with "Random Pop Up" followed by "Quickly warp to next map!" I spend more time on the loading screen than the actual map. Maybe add something else to a few of them like "scan anomalies" or something.
So, the positive things:
1. Mechanics are solid - your objectives, pop ups, etc. are great. You have the mechanics down
2. Story - despite being pretty close to the Maquis episodes of DS9 (bordering on a copy), the suspense and motivations are good which helps make the story better
3. Characters - your characters are interesting and dynamic
4. CRAZY ADMIRAL!!!! - always a good choice
Firstly, thanks for the review!
To be honest, I had difficulty writing the mission without taking cues from the Maquis episodes, but I think I'll give some of the maps a rewrite to space them out from the actual episodes. When I write the sequel, that's one of things I'll be checking is originality.
As for the one-shot wonder maps, yeah... I knew that was a problem when I wrote them in. The mission is more driven by story than by combat. I know the encounter with Myro in the Plasma Fields is a particularly bad spot, so I'll probably find something to add in to drag it out.
And I spawned the ship at the edge of the maps because, in the show, unless they were dealing with a critical emergency, starships always warped in at the edge of a star system and continued on at low warp or on impulse, dropping to impulse completely when the got close.
However, there are a couple of maps where warping in close is justified, so I'll likely change that too. I'll probably put in nav markers to emphasise the point about warp regulations as well, because it doesn't make complete sense otherwise.
I will check the reach markers while I'm at it just to make sure it's not a problem on my end.
Comments
As long as the guy is nice about it, nitpicks in my view are things I need to at least look at fixing.
Makes sense.
Some people were complaining early on about the scripts being written with some character actions described in dialog, as in, "The character does something and says, 'Blah blah blah.'" So I mentioned it in the description to warn people ahead of time.
Yeah, I can probably drop that. All it is, is Grell mentioning that Franklin Drake told him about you.
I was under the apparently mistaken impression that "Skipper" was an acceptable familiar equivalent of "Captain" aboard ships of some navies. It is in some of the mil-SF I read. But having browsed Wikipedia apparently the closest to that in real navies is that it used to be the name of one grade of warrant officer in the Royal Navy.
Ok, yeah, a little subject/verb ambiguity there.
Rule of Funny. You can't crumple a PADD.
I was working off of Memory Alpha's description of Galor-class ships' armament. They're described as using both phasers and disruptors in the show. Cardie mobs in the game likewise have both.
Yeah, I wasn't feeling very creative when I wrote those. All the miners do.
Well, as a Starfleet officer you're helping out of duty, not expectation of payment.
The idea was he only needs one impulse engine to dock once he gets there. But it's ambiguous and I've been meaning to adjust that so he heads to the mining operation's space station instead. Just haven't gotten around to it.
That's a term I picked up from the Honor Harrington novels, honestly, equivalent to "maximum possible speed".
And that order was forgotten almost as soon as they wrote it. DS9 routinely has the Defiant traveling between locations at warp 8, and the Enterprise-D typically cruises at warp 7. Speeds above warp 9 are more often treated as unsafe because it's hard on your ship, not because it's some technobabbly environmental hazard.
As I mentioned to Evil70th when he complained about this, there's no option currently available to change the interact button for default dialog on objects. Trust me, I looked very hard. I even tried linking a trigger to the console and it didn't help. And no, that's just the bios of some of the NPCs in the mission.
Now, my Fed character does show up (she's the Bajoran titled "The Dungeon Master" who appears when you beam out at the end), and the S.S. Shargrash appears in the backstory of my KDF character (he booked passage on it a few times, and his wife used to work on the ship as chief engineer), but the first is me using her as my avatar OOC, and the second I decided on well after publishing this.
I actually did, in the corresponding player dialog option ("Let's put a damper on all EM signatures, people."). "Silent running" for a submarine means being quiet so other vessels' passive sonar can't pick you up. There's no sound in space, obviously, so in this situation "silent running" means minimizing your EM signature so you're hard to spot on passive sensors.
Ha ha.
The Badlands are repeatedly noted as difficult to safely navigate due to the plasma storms, especially if you're a big, not-so-nimble ship like a Galor-class (as demonstrated in VOY: "Caretaker") or, in this case, Orion and Gorn capital ships. Using a transwarp conduit in an obscure location also has the advantage of helping hide your comings and goings, important for a pirate operation.
Ok, I'll change that. I knew they named runabouts but I honestly couldn't remember if they bothered to name shuttles in the 24th-25th century. (I remembered the Ent-Nil's shuttle Galileo, but I figured Starfleet would have to have so many shuttles at this point they might've run out of astronomers.)
Standard sci-fi term for the ship that launches small craft. EDIT: Also, tags don't work in dialog options so I can't use [ShipName].
Yeah, I ran into that problem last night when I ran it with a friend. I need to move either the mobs or the crates.
Spies.
Because as previously mentioned, in my head, "Skipper" was a familiar form of address. You don't know Captain Zell well enough to call him that. But I think I'm going to go back through and remove the use of "Skipper" in the mission.
Yeah, that can be dropped.
Some problems take diplomats to talk them to death. Some take spies to sneak around back and stab them. Some take boots on the ground or starships to shoot them. Some take a scientist to technobabble them. You can't use one tool for the other problem. Despite what J.J. Abrams seems to think, Section 31 is an intelligence agency, not a military organization like Starfleet. Grell sent the data to Starfleet Command so they could dispatch a ship to handle the problem the data indicated.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
Actually... You're able to rename certain Interacts!! I've used this technique very extensively on CSG2 and will show you how you can do it yourself!
1) Add a "Popup Dialog" on the map, it doesn't matter where you place it.
2) Open the Dialog and you could see two tabs; General and States.
3) To connect a dialog on an object, use these options: when "Component complete" => select the object to interact with.
4) Go and click on the object on your map (this case object #671). A new tab "Triggers" has appeared.
5) You can now rename the "Interact Text" the way you want it to be.
Hope I helped you a bit this way!
I call it, the Stoutes paradox.
Captain John Sheridan. I love Babylon 5.
My only problem with this is in DS9, Sloan specifically says S31 was in the original Starfleet charter, suggesting they are a part of Starfleet.
I think I'll do a review of Bait and switch myself, actually. I find a certain enjoyment in mil-SF missions.
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
Their position is more than a little ambiguous but I interpret them as the black ops branch of Starfleet Intelligence, which is still an intelligence agency even though it's under Starfleet's managerial umbrella. (It's kind of the Star Trek equivalent of ONI.)
@Stoutes: I'll give that a shot (I really would love to fix that), but you seem to be under the impression that I'm using map popups for the NPC dossiers. I'm not; I'm using object default dialogue.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
No, I'm not under the impression you're using that. I've been struggling with dialogs/interactions/interact titles myself. And what I've posted is what helped me getting a different title than the usual "Interact".
And that's why I posted my solution to that problem
I call it, the Stoutes paradox.
Thing is, I already tried linking Component Complete to an invisible object. I got the triggers tab on the console to appear and changed the text and animation, but when I went to test in preview mode it still said "Interact".
EDIT: Nope, no effect in preview mode, and I tried both a crate on another part of the map and a popup dialog. The console still says "Interact", except now I have a useless popup after closing it.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
The first half of the mission is fairly slow, but that's fine. I prefer missions that take the time early on to establish themselves. The unorthodox writing style took some getting used to, but it's not a big enough deal to warrant any changes.
I really enjoyed the abundance of branching dialogue and multiple dialog options. It's something I've tried to incorporate into more of my missions. The one thing I would say is that it's slightly awkward to be talking like a human when I'm playing a Vulcan
I liked Captain Zell's comment about an acting ensign. I assume that was a jab at Wesley Crusher (even though I personally liked Wesley). It makes me smile to see little in-jokes in missions. Same for the comment about escorts.
Combat was enjoyable. Map design was pretty solid as well.
One thing; I noticed the Bajoran Militia troops were wearing a Starfleet mockup of the Bajoran uniforms. I thought the Bajoran uniforms had been added as a Foundry asset? Or, at least, I think they were when I last used the Foundry.
One other thing; the battle in 'Way of the Warrior' isn't typically counted as a battle for DS9. I just think it'll be a tad confusing to refer to the Battle of DS9 (A call to arms) as the 'second' one instead of the first.
In all honesty, 'Way of the Warrior' was more of a skirmish.
Anyways...
I enjoyed the banter between bridge officers.
Nice reference with the U.S.S. Ivanova, by the way.
My first gameplay problem; clipped after pulling the airlock manual override lever on the... well... the airlock manual override lever. *Groan*. You might want to change it to an actual console or have the airlock close automatically using a reach marker. Now I have to go through every map change since the Malon system to get back to that point (thanks, Cryptic. :rolleyes:).
Finally, during the debriefing, Grell mentions he passed information onto Starfleet Command. While S31 obviously has support within SFC, most of Starfleet Command denies they even exist. Maybe Grell passes it onto someone in SFC through Franklin Drake, but I have reservations about whether he'd do it himself, much less confirm our suspicions about S31 having supporters in Command. Aside from that, it's good.
Overall, a very enjoyable mission to the average player. Just a few things I'd change.
***
Any chance I can get 'Return of the Maquis' added to the review list, Zorbane?
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
Have you tried removing the dialog of the object itself? It has to work, because half my mission is based on this. Not only 2, but parts of the revamp part of 1 as well.
I call it, the Stoutes paradox.
See, there's really no way to change the button label and have the dialog be reusable.
Yeah, that was me tweaking the noses of Paramount and Cryptic for a quick laugh. I wrote this well before season 8, when the game was still getting called "Escorts Online". (I've always been a cruiser fan.)
No, we don't have Bajoran uniforms, though I wish we did (I'd change the Militia guys over in a heartbeat). Kitbashing Antares 3 and TWOK was the best I could do.
Mem Alpha counts it, and it consists of a full Klingon battle group making a concerted attack on the station. Now, granted, it was relatively short and ended in a draw, with neither side inflicting particularly heavy losses on the other and Gowron retreating when Starfleet reinforcements arrived, but I consider it big enough for the word "battle".
Glad you noticed that!
Could you be a little more specific? Who got clipped and how?
Well, in addition to my above explanation of how S31 is an intelligence agency, not a military organization, there's this rationale: Per ENT, Section 31 has been around since before the Federation was even created. They're not a new organization. And with the stuff they're known to get up to, do you honestly think they'd have lasted that long if somebody upstairs didn't think they were necessary? Now, they're definitely a case of No Such Agency, but in real life even secret organizations within a government get some level of governmental oversight. (Fun fact: During the first four years of its existence the National Security Agency was also officially denied to exist, as was the UK's Secret Intelligence Service, a.k.a. MI-6, for most of its history.)
TL;DR: I took the various hints scattered around the canon and followed them to what I felt was a logical conclusion. There are definitely other interpretations, but that's mine.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
I did...:o
Basically, on the space station map when you get off the shuttle, there's the lever you have to pull to reseal the airlock. Well, when I pulled that lever, my character was suddenly trapped in the collision mesh, jumping around with half his torso trapped in the lever... or should that be the other way around?
Not my greatest moment.
Obviously, the problem is that in order to have actions like that, we need to despawn an object and then spawn in a new one, which means you're despawning one collision mesh and replacing it with a differently configured one. It's only a problem when you get up close, but because I'm a bit of an RP'er (not to mention a perfectionist) I got about as close as I possibly could before I pulled the lever.
Might be something to look into. I know there's not much you can do about it without removing the switch, but is there a specific reason there can only be a console inside the airlock?
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
The idea is that a "manual override" should actually be manual, in this case a mechanical lever that you pull to close and seal the airlock by mechanical force (or mechanically close the electrical circuit that operates the motor, or however you want it to work). And you hotwired the airlock door previously to get past a security system (which I probably should've explained better).
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
Mission(s):
Homesick Heroes (Romulan) - Reviews: 1
I did a video review and you will be able to see my playing the mission. Although music starts at the first I do turn it off.
Link to video is here > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zf9U0IgYGg&feature=youtu.be
- The missions I found to be really good. There was only one or two times I asked my self if a Romulan would really say this? However I don't remember the exact place (why there is a video.)
Map design is good.
Combat was a little too unrealistic and too easy.
However I found no overall real game breaking bugs or problems. I gave the mission 5 stars.
i love the thought by Amahood at the end too anything that makes me think is good any reaction is the goal of an author so you succeeded.
----
If anyone would like to review my mission I just published recently called Cube 571.
the forum post is here : http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=963751
Short 10 sec trailer for Cube 571
The one good thing about being Borg you never need tech-support
Before you post in the STO tech support forum
@borrowedtune: I've made the suggested changes. I also added a little more to the plot to hopefully give the pew pew more purpose.
First off: Put capitals in the title. Makes it seem more professional and polished. Minor quip, but we judge books by their covers.
Erm... warp into a new system and no contact? No information on what we are suppose to be doing? And this map solely exist to get us the 10 kilometers from the transwarp gate to the station. That first map can either be cut out, or you can add some objectives in there that make it worth the loadtime.
I beam in and still have no idea what i am doing. You could have the transport officer pop in and tell me that L'var is waiting for me in this office. Give us signpost, character to help push us along in the story. I should only be using my map if I am lost.
"Interact" button on a console in the Space station, next to the Undine. I'm not even sure what console this is or what it does?
BIIIIIG Empty space on the Space station map. Maybe fill it in with people or cargo? I doubt they would waste that much space on ship models.
Add a variety of responses to dialogue. Not every plays a pensive blue Picard-like captain.
Vulcans.. smirking... what?
Again, have L'var TELL us where the Comms officer is before he kicks us out. WE have not been to this station before. It would not be that unheard of.
"Just don't use any Vulcan mind melds on me..." We are half a quadrant apart...
???? and i thought it was mentioned that Garek went back to Cardassia to help rebuilt the government.
Why are we suddenly changing course back to DS9 after going to Gamma Orionis... THose two aren't exactly close. Your hook is not deep enough to pull me 100s of light years off my course. This could be better if we skipped the whole mysterious trip to the deep space research lab to speak to old friends. and started out closer to where we actually start.
Also, the space map is again nearly useless. No need to handwalk us the entire length of the journey to DS9. you can make another map with DS9 and wapr us in right on top of it.
Your markers need to be bigger. I cannot see where I am suppose to stop.
I'm now into my thrid map and i still have little idea what I am doing in this story or why? What is at stake? why should I care?
Why is there a Carassian walking around on the transporter pad?
Tholians aren't peaceful. They are Xenophobic and as war with the rest of the Galaxy. THey would not be about on a trading port.
Why would i not be a fan of EMHs? They are fun, quirky and useful. Why should I suddenly dislike them?
Why am I ducking out of a medical quarantine? A) I am a responsible citizen.
Why do i have to jump across the way to contact my ship??? dampening field??? Jammed comms??? Dead batttery??? something???
Platforming.. Nice in some games but STO is not really built for it as you cannot grab ledges, climb or straff properly. As such I am stuck halfway through and cannot complete this mission
Overall... Needs a more cohesive plot. Need more anchors and people telling us where to go. Less useless maps, rail roading characters. I can tell you were focused on the Platforming experience around the city and making grand maps. but that is only half of the foundry. Review your story and add more reasons to it. You have to take in account that many people think of their characters in different ways, so you kinda have to leave the center, the main character, open for anyone to step into.
"Sacrifice" by kyeto13
Fed lvl 46. Involving Story, diplomacy, mystery.. and Borg.
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
Your review seems to suggest you have not read the opening dialog or any dialog. I feel like I was just trolled by a 17 year old boy. There is a long tradition for starfleet captains to never abandon their crew and that is the point of the plot. Anyhow I am not interested in your feedback as it seems you are looking to troll or argue.
Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
Just because someone doesn't like your mission doesn't mean you should reject what they say. I don't see anything in the review that looks like trolling.
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
Is it possible to get 'Return of the Maquis' added to the list, Zorbane?
I did a review of 'Bait and switch' on the previous page.
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
I found the entire tone rude,disagreeable and overly critical. Sometimes I feel foundry author are sometimes held to a higher standard than commercial game developers... Anyhow I have already responded to a lot of feedback on this mission. This reviewer takes an opposite stance to other reviewers on some issues. Mostly he seems too rushed and impatient. I mean criticizing me because he thinks a room needs some crates in it? He also failed to read major plot points and then criticized me on them. Overall the review is inaccurate. I am not hot under the collar over this I just don't likethe tone of his review and disagree with most of it.
As a reviewer myself I always factor in the time and effort needed to craft foundry missions and also the bugs that can curse them.
Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
Sure thing.
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
"The Dogs of War"
Author: pbau3993
Code: ST-HFZXUX3CU
Level: 21+
Faction: Fed
The title is bugged. I cannot capitalize it.
This map was one I did not initially want however it was suggested by a reviewer that I should establish the location exterior instead of going from transwarp to beaming to an interior map. It has no extra objective so as not to add to the length of the mission.
While this may help the story some,this is a very small map you cannot get lost on it. Cryptic missions require using the minimap all the time. I don't see the need to hold your hand on this simple interior map.
You probably never clicked on it.
On the internet all caps denotes yelling. Why would you yell at me about the corridor surrounding the turbolift?
Once again this is not a large map.
Yes the communication is patched through from Cardassia. This is explained.....
You are not travelling to DS9. If you actually read the the dialogue you would know this. Second Transwarp travel means the distances are not far apart.
I used one map to simulate travel between two systems. It saved time.
I used the largest asset available to me in the foundry.
From your comments I can only conclude this is because you did not read the dialogue. I will admit that I probably have not set up a feeling of suspenseyet in the story though.
The fact that Tholian silk is a commodity made me think that some of them might be more friendly.
This is just another question that sounds like trolling. No one likes a doctor's check up.
Time is a very important factor.
I did mean to explain that.
This is a very simple jumping puzzle. I have done it lying on my couch with one hand on the keyboard. There is also an alternate path with no jumping or failing that, you can walk to the base of the tower and beam to the next map.
I do see some of the points you have made regarding this mission. Your review style is blunt and rubs me the wrong way. What i take away from this review is it may be better to set up an air of danger for the missing crewmen and establish more so that they need to be rescued as soon as possible.
Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
You need to review a mission in the list before I can add yours.
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
First off, a caveat - it took me a lot longer to play this than it should have. I think the Foundry waypoints might be bugged again (for space at least). All of the mission objective markers in your space maps were way off from where the actual marker was. I had to run around 3 space maps on a pixel hunt to find the right objective area. Don't think that's your fault, but the scarcity of objects on your map made it hard to determine where I had been.
Now, onto the review. Not a bad mission. The maps are a bit sparse and the story is a bit cliched, otherwise I think the mechanics are solid (barring the bugs that seem to be there).
1. Maps are too sparse - some of your space maps have one object in them. Maybe add some asteroids or something in
2. Spawn points are too far away from the objective points - I shouldn't have to fly half way across a map to interact with something
3. Story is cliched - the story seems hackneyed: almost a point for point rip from the DS9 Maquis episodes; you're going close to if not crossing over the boundary between homage and copy
4. Too many map transitions - this is kind of the pot calling the kettle black as I am guilty of this too, but you have quite a few maps with "Random Pop Up" followed by "Quickly warp to next map!" I spend more time on the loading screen than the actual map. Maybe add something else to a few of them like "scan anomalies" or something.
So, the positive things:
1. Mechanics are solid - your objectives, pop ups, etc. are great. You have the mechanics down
2. Story - despite being pretty close to the Maquis episodes of DS9 (bordering on a copy), the suspense and motivations are good which helps make the story better
3. Characters - your characters are interesting and dynamic
4. CRAZY ADMIRAL!!!! - always a good choice
It's on there now
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
Firstly, thanks for the review!
To be honest, I had difficulty writing the mission without taking cues from the Maquis episodes, but I think I'll give some of the maps a rewrite to space them out from the actual episodes. When I write the sequel, that's one of things I'll be checking is originality.
As for the one-shot wonder maps, yeah... I knew that was a problem when I wrote them in. The mission is more driven by story than by combat. I know the encounter with Myro in the Plasma Fields is a particularly bad spot, so I'll probably find something to add in to drag it out.
And I spawned the ship at the edge of the maps because, in the show, unless they were dealing with a critical emergency, starships always warped in at the edge of a star system and continued on at low warp or on impulse, dropping to impulse completely when the got close.
However, there are a couple of maps where warping in close is justified, so I'll likely change that too. I'll probably put in nav markers to emphasise the point about warp regulations as well, because it doesn't make complete sense otherwise.
I will check the reach markers while I'm at it just to make sure it's not a problem on my end.
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood