The doomquake sends shockwaves through adobe houses. The microsoft atoms split apart, destroying molecule after molecule. Liquefaction turns fill into quicksand. An old man carrying a sign loses his balance. He and the sign fall down. The sign reads, "The end of the world is nye!" A scientist walks by, writes a word in front of "nye" and continues on his way. The word he added turns out to be "bill". A fence is built around the sign, with an iron gateway. Dirt is compaq-ted around the fence. An ice-covered copy of "2001" appears, with words written on it: "HAL has finally frozen over." The doomsayers nod their heads and say, "We told you so, we told you so."
"We're dumed. We'll never make it."
"Not if you keep mispelling it like that."
"What -- like you did?"
"I did not!"
"You did."
"Pruve it."
"There. You did it again."
"Did not!"
"Now, come on. Just admit it and get it over with. It feels much better afterward."
"What does?"
"You have to do it first."
"Say I'm sorry?"
"Right."
"And then what?"
"You'll find out when you apologize."
"Right. I'm sorry."
(a pumpkin pie is thrown -- *splat*)
(mumblemumblemumblemumble)
"What was that?"
"Needs more whipped cream."
"Ingrate."
"You threw it at me. I'm just enjoying the consequences. Collateral damage never tasted so good."
"Next thing I know you'll be calling it a weapon of mass destruction."
"Not bloody likely. Pie was too small. Need a bigger one."
"And you expect me to make it for you?"
"Not for me." (points behind him, into a dark cavern, with little glinting lights here and there, and high above them a steady pair of yellow lights) "For him. He's fresh out of orcs. And hungry. But he might take a substitute."
"Of what sort?"
"This." (pushes the other into the dark cave; loud munchings and crunchings are heard) "How was he?"
(a deep voice speaks) "Needed some salt and ketchup."
"Get stuffed and do it yourself, you loony."
"You could be course #2."
"Of course I could ... I ... ah ... oh. Sure an orc wouldn't do instead?"
"I need someone who is doesn't know how truly doomed they are. Like a human. Like yourself."
"I might not be available."
"Not later on, no, of course not."
"Will it hurt?"
"Only briefly."
"And you'll be hungry again afterward."
"Naturally." A pause. "Now don't delay. Offer expires soon. No returns allowed. No interest as long as item is paid for in 12 months. Call now."
"You sound like a TV ad."
"Who do you think did some of the voice-overs? Come to me, said the spider to the fly."
"I'm doomed. I never had a chance."
"Indeed." (reaches out and grabs him, drags him into the dark cavern) A pause. "You did bring the salt and ketchup, didn't you?"
"Of all the times to complain about the service. Next thing you'll be demanding is Grey Poupon. And Paul Masson wine."
"That's for the next one. If I'm still hungry."
"You know this isn't quite appropriate for Christmas Day."
"There is no Christmas Day in Middle-earth. Rest assured, procrastination won't save you."
"Just thought I'd try. All right. Have at it."
"Indeed I will."
Fellow Prognosticators of Future Unhappy Incidents of Pixelated Mass Destruction:
Welcome to 2014! Like you, I am beyond amazed we made this far. Like you, I continue to be dismayed by the large number of Stepford Customers of a certain not-to-be-named entertainment company.
We have but one choice, clearly. Even though, like all far sighted inidividuals with the talent for spotting trends before they become trends before us, we will be ignored and reviled until after our passing.
Please join me in making 2014 :::drumroll-ching!::: The Year Of Doooommmm!
@neoakiraii - Just noticed your Sig Banner. Very Nice! Elegantly simple yet highly effective. Well done!
thanks for sharing it with us.
A six year old boy and his starship. Living the dream.
Fellow Prognosticators of Future Unhappy Incidents of Pixelated Mass Destruction:
Welcome to 2014! Like you, I am beyond amazed we made this far. Like you, I continue to be dismayed by the large number of Stepford Customers of a certain not-to-be-named entertainment company.
We have but one choice, clearly. Even though, like all far sighted inidividuals with the talent for spotting trends before they become trends before us, we will be ignored and reviled until after our passing.
Please join me in making 2014 :::drumroll-ching!::: The Year Of Doooommmm!
Well done sir....lol.:D
FA Janin Delwynn - Fed Tac Officer
FA Dion - Romulan Engineer Officer
FA Zophie Delwynn - Fed Science Officer
Brothers and sisters, do not be dismayed. The truth is obvious.
These 'Christmas' and 'New Year' events are obviously the twisted machinations of Cryptic and the corrupt commercial overlords they serve!
They think they can deflect our attention with free ships and pet Gingerbread Men? Cover up the glaring conspiracy with snowball toys and long coats!?
They won't keep us silent, and they can't hide the truth forever. And when doom comes I will be there on a soapbox yelling to the masses I TOLD YOU SO.
The world was doomed ... but everyone was too drunk on NYE to notice.
The world is doomed ... but everyone is too tired this morning to notice.
The world will be doomed ... but tomorrow will be impossible to reach (like the horizon on Earth), so no one will notice.
Comments
Focus on Fairytale of New York by The Pogues. It will lessen your pain.
As for me I'll stick to Cashing In On Christmas
My character Tsin'xing
Never heard of it. Listened to it. Love it
My character Tsin'xing
/\ /\ /\
THIS FTW!! In spades!
I doom.
I am doomed.
We know the truth. I'll bet the interns were beating back the flames while someone wrote that letter!
It's special spelling to keep the NSA looking.
My character Tsin'xing
May you all have doom filled holidays!:P
What more DOOM do you need!?
Oh yeah, apparently that new Breen raider is broken. Just chuck that in there for relevance sake. And thank God for Chome and auto-correct.
DOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Out of all things to mis-spell it manages to TRIBBLE up its own name!?
Ah well. Don't post while quite tipsy. Lesson learned...until New Year's Eve of course.
My character Tsin'xing
"Not if you keep mispelling it like that."
"What -- like you did?"
"I did not!"
"You did."
"Pruve it."
"There. You did it again."
"Did not!"
"Now, come on. Just admit it and get it over with. It feels much better afterward."
"What does?"
"You have to do it first."
"Say I'm sorry?"
"Right."
"And then what?"
"You'll find out when you apologize."
"Right. I'm sorry."
(a pumpkin pie is thrown -- *splat*)
(mumblemumblemumblemumble)
"What was that?"
"Needs more whipped cream."
"Ingrate."
"You threw it at me. I'm just enjoying the consequences. Collateral damage never tasted so good."
"Next thing I know you'll be calling it a weapon of mass destruction."
"Not bloody likely. Pie was too small. Need a bigger one."
"And you expect me to make it for you?"
"Not for me." (points behind him, into a dark cavern, with little glinting lights here and there, and high above them a steady pair of yellow lights) "For him. He's fresh out of orcs. And hungry. But he might take a substitute."
"Of what sort?"
"This." (pushes the other into the dark cave; loud munchings and crunchings are heard) "How was he?"
(a deep voice speaks) "Needed some salt and ketchup."
"Get stuffed and do it yourself, you loony."
"You could be course #2."
"Of course I could ... I ... ah ... oh. Sure an orc wouldn't do instead?"
"I need someone who is doesn't know how truly doomed they are. Like a human. Like yourself."
"I might not be available."
"Not later on, no, of course not."
"Will it hurt?"
"Only briefly."
"And you'll be hungry again afterward."
"Naturally." A pause. "Now don't delay. Offer expires soon. No returns allowed. No interest as long as item is paid for in 12 months. Call now."
"You sound like a TV ad."
"Who do you think did some of the voice-overs? Come to me, said the spider to the fly."
"I'm doomed. I never had a chance."
"Indeed." (reaches out and grabs him, drags him into the dark cavern) A pause. "You did bring the salt and ketchup, didn't you?"
"Of all the times to complain about the service. Next thing you'll be demanding is Grey Poupon. And Paul Masson wine."
"That's for the next one. If I'm still hungry."
"You know this isn't quite appropriate for Christmas Day."
"There is no Christmas Day in Middle-earth. Rest assured, procrastination won't save you."
"Just thought I'd try. All right. Have at it."
"Indeed I will."
Welcome to 2014! Like you, I am beyond amazed we made this far. Like you, I continue to be dismayed by the large number of Stepford Customers of a certain not-to-be-named entertainment company.
We have but one choice, clearly. Even though, like all far sighted inidividuals with the talent for spotting trends before they become trends before us, we will be ignored and reviled until after our passing.
Please join me in making 2014 :::drumroll-ching!::: The Year Of Doooommmm!
@neoakiraii - Just noticed your Sig Banner. Very Nice! Elegantly simple yet highly effective. Well done!
thanks for sharing it with us.
O TRIBBLE dose that mean i wont get paid...........
Well done sir....lol.:D
FA Dion - Romulan Engineer Officer
FA Zophie Delwynn - Fed Science Officer
These 'Christmas' and 'New Year' events are obviously the twisted machinations of Cryptic and the corrupt commercial overlords they serve!
They think they can deflect our attention with free ships and pet Gingerbread Men? Cover up the glaring conspiracy with snowball toys and long coats!?
They won't keep us silent, and they can't hide the truth forever. And when doom comes I will be there on a soapbox yelling to the masses I TOLD YOU SO.
Just you wait. It'll come...it'll come...
*rocks gently to and fro*
The world is doomed ... but everyone is too tired this morning to notice.
The world will be doomed ... but tomorrow will be impossible to reach (like the horizon on Earth), so no one will notice.