Someone just sent me a mission to run through the Review Tool that had no level restriction on it. I remember, because that forced me to fix the tool to handle missions with no level restriction. I'll look it up and post the name of the mission here.
EDIT: Oh wow -- it was Starswordc's "Bait and Switch" V1.1.2. I know he's done some updates within the last few days since that report was generated, but the changes he described shouldn't have changed the level restriction.
I just started "Bait and Switch" on my lunch... unfortunately, I'll have to finish after work because I ran out of time (30 min. lunches kinda stink), BUT WOW! I loooove it! Very cohesive storyline and interesting style.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
My very first Foundry Mission, Healing Old Wounds, has been completely reworked and rereleased!
(Also, a quick shout-out, please visit Starbase UGC for all your Foundry needs!)
StarSword-C's Detailed Review of "A Time to Search" by @lincolninspace, Stardate 91457.95 (11/08/2013). Originally posted here.
I'll be doing remarks map by map as I go through them. "Convo" will be shorthand for "conversation". With typos, the changes I make will be in red. Map of the observatory (forgot to check the name):
Interesting way to build a transporter pad. Nice for a unique look.
Love all the little details like the racks of ship models.
Love the HHGTTG shout-out in the bar, and the cantina area looks very good. (They're even preparing food by hand instead of replicating!)
Console in room with Undine says "Interact" instead of something custom.
Convo with L'var:
-- Player: "It still is weighing heavilly on my mind." -> "... heavily on my mind."
-- Player: "Your still not as Vulcan as I am." -> "You're..." or "You are..."
Convo with Kurland and Garak:
-- The facsimile of Kurland is okay. I think his skin tone is grayer in the game but we don't have access to it.
-- Dialog headed "Naturally." is missing Kurland's face.
-- I don't think Cardassians have mustaches or eyebrows like Garak's clerk does.
-- Good job duplicating Garak's dialog patterns, but I think you made his eyes and nose slightly too large.
-- Player: "What is hs password?" -> "... his password?"
-- Garak: "Your welcome Captain ..." -> "You're welcome, Captain..." Map "Deep Space":
Transwarp conduit says "Interact" instead of something custom.
Just wondering, what the heck asset did you use for that yellow flash when the ship goes to transwarp? Never seen it before.
Upon reaching the end of the transwarp, I personally would have triggered the appearance of the new star system with an interact object using the "warp in" animation. Going back to impulse felt a little sudden without it. Map "Droxine City Spaceport":
Clever security scanner design, and I always find custom-built interiors impressive because I don't have the patience to construct them.
Convo with historian:
-- First two dialogue options need periods at the end.
-- Did I travel through time? Because the current year in Star Trek Online is 2409, and the historian claims Droxine was under Cardassian rule until 2411.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail shout-out FTW! Map "Droxine City":
Interesting parkour scenario.
Why reskinned Jem'Hadar and Romulans as Cardassian mobs instead of just Cardassians?
Map "Dive Bar":
Wisest Tribble console says "Interact" instead of something custom.
Just a side comment, the Amphibian is quite possibly the weirdest rubber-forehead alien I've ever seen anybody make in the Foundry.
Convo with the Amphibian:
-- Amphibian: ... on one of the moons of Kinjun II" is missing a period at the end, as is the player's response to it.
Objectives: The word 'commission' has two 'm's.
Convo with tentacle alien:
-- Player: Unnaceptable -> Unacceptable. One 'n', two 'c's.
Convo with Butler Okona at dabo table:
-- Okona: "Your in Starfleet. Why not take one of you own ships?" -> "You're in Starfleet. Why not take one of your own ships?"
-- Player: "I will pay you handsomely" missing period.
-- Okona: "... with the Thot and his crony's." -> "... with the Thot and his cronies."
Was something supposed to happen with the Nausicaans? He just said "You are a dead man!" and let me walk past.
Convo with Kell on ship:
-- Okona over PA system:
---- "Ships public adress" -> "Ship's public address"
---- "Heading is set we are ready to go to warp." -> "Heading is set. We are ready to go to warp." or something similar. Map "Moon Surface":
I like the way the map is set up to allow you to sneak between and around the Breen mob groups if you time it right. You are supposed to be being stealthy here, after all.
Objectives: "Set up us the bomb"? Zero Wing? Really? (Not criticizing, just made me roll my eyes a bit.)
Second charge, inside the mine, is already visible when "Set up charges" interact is up. I would change that one to an invisible object or something of that nature. It also fails to disappear after detonating.
Why are my boffs suddenly attacking the magma?
Crate on one of the catwalks in the southwestern room is floating in midair. Map "Erstwhile V Interior":
Initial interact object says "Interact" instead of something custom.
Convo with tac officer:
-- "... has a forcfield door." -> "... has a forcefield door."
I like the way you handled the explosive decompression effect.
Convo with Trajan:
-- "I am ammassing a fortune here and you and your crew have gotten in my way. Lets just say..." -> I am amassing a fortune here and you and your crew have gotten in my way. Let's just say..."
Convo with Erstwhile V crew:
-- Sshallah: "Were gonna need a miracle Captain!" -> "We're gonna need a miracle, Captain!" Map "Kinjun II":
Why reskinned Hirogen as Breen mobs instead of just using Breen? Overall score: 4/5.
Pros: The maps are extremely well-designed and choreographed. I particularly liked the spaceport map and the explosive decompression effect. I also found the various shout-outs amusing. Finally, I really liked how well you duplicated Elim Garak's speech patterns (he's one of my favorite DS9 characters).
Cons: A lot of typos, particularly underuse of commas (early on I gave up trying to keep track of them except when there was another typo to grab). Also some questionable mob choices.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
That wasn't a criticism, starswordc. I knew you were talking about B&S2 because of your signature block.
I misunderstood.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Starswordc, Bait and Switch is AMAZING!!! What a masterpiece! I just spent the past two hours playing it and gave it 5 stars. I love how you used a narrative format to tell your story and I also enjoyed the mix of ground and space combat.
I did have one tiny question, though... how is it possible to have Jadzia Dax in it, when she's dead?
Zorbane, I've now successfully played (and enjoyed!) a mission from the list... could you please add my mission, Healing Old Wounds?
Thank you all! :-)
I can't wait to level up enough to try part 2 of Bait and Switch!
P.S. I've started a Foundry Trailer Database and I'd love to add a trailer for Bait and Switch or any other missions that are out there. You can find my site here: http://stofoundrytrailers.wordpress.com
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
My very first Foundry Mission, Healing Old Wounds, has been completely reworked and rereleased!
(Also, a quick shout-out, please visit Starbase UGC for all your Foundry needs!)
I did have one tiny question, though... how is it possible to have Jadzia Dax in it, when she's dead?
I didn't. The USS Jadzia Dax is a ship named after her (a Luna-class, in my head). Glad you enjoyed the mission!
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
My very first Foundry Mission, Healing Old Wounds, has been completely reworked and rereleased!
(Also, a quick shout-out, please visit Starbase UGC for all your Foundry needs!)
StarSword-C's Detailed Review of "A Time to Search" by @lincolninspace, Stardate 91457.95 (11/08/2013). Originally posted here.
I'll be doing remarks map by map as I go through them. "Convo" will be shorthand for "conversation". With typos, the changes I make will be in red. Map of the observatory (forgot to check the name):
Interesting way to build a transporter pad. Nice for a unique look.
Love all the little details like the racks of ship models.
Love the HHGTTG shout-out in the bar, and the cantina area looks very good. (They're even preparing food by hand instead of replicating!)
Console in room with Undine says "Interact" instead of something custom.
Convo with L'var:
-- Player: "It still is weighing heavilly on my mind." -> "... heavily on my mind."
-- Player: "Your still not as Vulcan as I am." -> "You're..." or "You are..."
Convo with Kurland and Garak:
-- The facsimile of Kurland is okay. I think his skin tone is grayer in the game but we don't have access to it.
-- Dialog headed "Naturally." is missing Kurland's face.
-- I don't think Cardassians have mustaches or eyebrows like Garak's clerk does.
-- Good job duplicating Garak's dialog patterns, but I think you made his eyes and nose slightly too large.
-- Player: "What is hs password?" -> "... his password?"
-- Garak: "Your welcome Captain ..." -> "You're welcome, Captain..." Map "Deep Space":
Transwarp conduit says "Interact" instead of something custom.
Just wondering, what the heck asset did you use for that yellow flash when the ship goes to transwarp? Never seen it before.
Upon reaching the end of the transwarp, I personally would have triggered the appearance of the new star system with an interact object using the "warp in" animation. Going back to impulse felt a little sudden without it. Map "Droxine City Spaceport":
Clever security scanner design, and I always find custom-built interiors impressive because I don't have the patience to construct them.
Convo with historian:
-- First two dialogue options need periods at the end.
-- Did I travel through time? Because the current year in Star Trek Online is 2409, and the historian claims Droxine was under Cardassian rule until 2411.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail shout-out FTW! Map "Droxine City":
Interesting parkour scenario.
Why reskinned Jem'Hadar and Romulans as Cardassian mobs instead of just Cardassians?
Map "Dive Bar":
Wisest Tribble console says "Interact" instead of something custom.
Just a side comment, the Amphibian is quite possibly the weirdest rubber-forehead alien I've ever seen anybody make in the Foundry.
Convo with the Amphibian:
-- Amphibian: ... on one of the moons of Kinjun II" is missing a period at the end, as is the player's response to it.
Objectives: The word 'commission' has two 'm's.
Convo with tentacle alien:
-- Player: Unnaceptable -> Unacceptable. One 'n', two 'c's.
Convo with Butler Okona at dabo table:
-- Okona: "Your in Starfleet. Why not take one of you own ships?" -> "You're in Starfleet. Why not take one of your own ships?"
-- Player: "I will pay you handsomely" missing period.
-- Okona: "... with the Thot and his crony's." -> "... with the Thot and his cronies."
Was something supposed to happen with the Nausicaans? He just said "You are a dead man!" and let me walk past.
Convo with Kell on ship:
-- Okona over PA system:
---- "Ships public adress" -> "Ship's public address"
---- "Heading is set we are ready to go to warp." -> "Heading is set. We are ready to go to warp." or something similar. Map "Moon Surface":
I like the way the map is set up to allow you to sneak between and around the Breen mob groups if you time it right. You are supposed to be being stealthy here, after all.
Objectives: "Set up us the bomb"? Zero Wing? Really? (Not criticizing, just made me roll my eyes a bit.)
Second charge, inside the mine, is already visible when "Set up charges" interact is up. I would change that one to an invisible object or something of that nature. It also fails to disappear after detonating.
Why are my boffs suddenly attacking the magma?
Crate on one of the catwalks in the southwestern room is floating in midair. Map "Erstwhile V Interior":
Initial interact object says "Interact" instead of something custom.
Convo with tac officer:
-- "... has a forcfield door." -> "... has a forcefield door."
I like the way you handled the explosive decompression effect.
Convo with Trajan:
-- "I am ammassing a fortune here and you and your crew have gotten in my way. Lets just say..." -> I am amassing a fortune here and you and your crew have gotten in my way. Let's just say..."
Convo with Erstwhile V crew:
-- Sshallah: "Were gonna need a miracle Captain!" -> "We're gonna need a miracle, Captain!" Map "Kinjun II":
Why reskinned Hirogen as Breen mobs instead of just using Breen? Overall score: 4/5.
Pros: The maps are extremely well-designed and choreographed. I particularly liked the spaceport map and the explosive decompression effect. I also found the various shout-outs amusing. Finally, I really liked how well you duplicated Elim Garak's speech patterns (he's one of my favorite DS9 characters).
Cons: A lot of typos, particularly underuse of commas (early on I gave up trying to keep track of them except when there was another typo to grab). Also some questionable mob choices.
Thanks for playing my mission. I meant it to be a fun change of pace from all the official starfleet stuff a captain does. My choice of mobs was to keep the mission at level 16 . I never can nail down all those typo's it seems, but your review should help. The unibrow moustache and mullet on the Cardassian was a bit of an over the top way of making him look sleazy . I really miss costume import and all the fun ways you could mess with the tailor with it. I will have to give your mission a try with my Romulan toon.
With regards to Droxine city what was meant was that it was under Cardassian rule until a future date. Just like how Hong Kong was under British rule in the 20th century.
I appreciated all the feedback on Garak as no one commented on him before and he is one of my favorites too. I was thinking of doing a little touch up on his face. I think the animations kind of ruin him though.
The Klingon chef is another nod to DS9.
I have never seen the problem you had in the mine with the bomb being visible. This might be new. The magma was an experiment I recently added some invisible targs for players who get too playful and jump into the magma. Cryptic did not make the magma kill the player so people just get stuck down there. I have a bunch of invisible walls to prevent this.
A TIME TO SEARCH: ENTER MY FOUNDRY MISSION at the RISA SYSTEM Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
I will have to give your mission a try with my Romulan toon.
Fair warning, I didn't write it to be Romulan-friendly (haven't played a Rom toon yet so I wouldn't even know where to start).
With regards to Droxine city what was meant was that it was under Cardassian rule until a future date. Just like how Hong Kong was under British rule in the 20th century.
All right, then you've got a verb tense problem. Historian should probably say "will be", not "was".
The Klingon chef is another nod to DS9.
You mean the tubby Klingon with the restaurant? That guy's hilarious!
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Great mission with strong plot and extremely polished. There was a lot of good detail put into building the maps as well. I gave it 5/5.
The main issue I have with this mission is that there are a lot of map transitions between maps where only 1 or 2 things happen). After the detailed comment list I give an example of how I would have compressed multiple maps into one. To be clear I'm not saying "you have to do it this way" but it's just an example of how I would have done things different.
Details:
General
There is a lot of "Wall of text". Just something I noticed. Not everyone will be a fan of it but it doesn't bother me too much
A lot of map transitions that could have been avoided
Would have liked some choice on player dialogue even if it goes to the same dialogue in the end. I felt like I was be being forced to feel in a certain way (although its hard to avoid this in STO)
Prologue
It's important to include the start location in the first objective. In this case it's "Rendezvous with the U.S.S. Longstreet". An example of what I would have done in your case "Rendezvous with the U.S.S. Long Street (Severin System, Regulus Sector Block)"
Map - Starbase 117
"One Objective Wonder". This map doesn't add anything to the mission as all you do is fly to the longstreet and beam down to the next map cuasing another quick map transition
Map - U.S.S. Longstreet
There's an NPC called Crewman2#7, Crewman2 and Crewman2#1
During the introduction Captain Edward Jameson introduces everyone. When he gets to you he says [Rank] [FirstName] [LastName]. An issue with that is the toon I was playing with only has a last name and he ends up saying "...this is Vice Admiral Zorbane, Zorbane..." Just something to keep in mind
Nice work on the map
Map - Deck 10
The current president (according to lore) is President Aennik Okeg - http://memory-beta.wikia.com/wiki/Aennik_Okeg
This map is alos kind of short, you just run to a spot adn talk to someone. This could have technically been part of the previosu map
Map - Battle Bridge
One of my boffs got stuck in teh turbolift
I know its a fed Klingon that's in charge of the Interceptor but he doesnt really talk like one.
Short map (two objectives)
Map - Delta Vienna System
The three "Scan the wreckage" objectives are in range when you warp in
The attacking ships just sit there and don't seen very "attacky". This is normal for Cryptic style missions but if you want to make things more intense you can have the ships actively attack either by spawning within weapons range or outside weapons range and patrolling into weapons range
Map - U.S.S. Interceptor Bridge
Like what you've done with this map
Poor Red Shirt
Non-Federation console used to remateralize the "assets"
Map - Imperon System
No indication to where the enmy are initially, i just flew around randomly at first trying to figure out what to od
Same comment about space battle as above, they just sit there ala Cryptic missions (aka boring!!)
Ships were rather weak if tehy were supposed to be the dreaded Phoenix Dawn.
Example to keep the maps to a limit:
Enter System - Ready to beam onto Starbase 117 (drops map 1 completely)
Talk to the Admiral and Starfleet Intelligence and meet the President into one map (Combines two maps into one)
Remove battle bridge map and start the Delta Vienna System at warp and have the dialogue appear while you're on teh ship and then warp in when appropriate
(removes one map)
The Last map when you run to the escape pod could be remoevd by having the player
run "backwards" on the current map to get to the escape pod.
Total - 4 less maps
StarSword-C's Detailed Review of "Healing Old Wounds" by @aleniskendra, Stardate 91462.85 (11/09/2013). Originally posted here.
I tested this using the USS Bajor NCC-97238, a Galaxy-class exploration cruiser with a semi-canonical budget loadout.
I'll be doing remarks map by map as I go through them. "Convo" will be shorthand for "conversation". With typos, the changes I make will be in red.
Mission offer popup is a little clinical, and based on the storyline you could have easily been more unique and used the Cryptic map Hathon itself as the starting point rather than going to the overused console at Earth Spacedock. Map "Warp":
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest.
Map transition dialogue:
-- Player: "Go to Warp7 !" -> "Go to Warp 7!" Map "Plotting a course through Bajoran space":
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest. Hathon, Bajor's capital city, is available as a Cryptic map and could easily be used as the mission starting point instead of running through two unnecessary maps. Map "Bajoran Surface":
The map is extremely empty. What I would have done instead is build an interior map (your contact's house, or whatever) reached via the Hathon Cryptic map, or possibly just have the entire conversation with your contact done over a screen and then enter the mission proper from one of the map's entry points.
Failing that, use the Bajoran System as the mission entry point from sector space (I think we can do that but I haven't checked). Use the costume designer to randomly generate several Bajoran costumes and scatter them about the mission. You can also reskin Federation mobs as Bajorans and use the "Patrol" behavior to get groups of people walking around. If you haven't already done so, I recommend you take a look at Kirkfat's tutorial videos for more information on NPC behavior settings (I don't have the link handy but it's in the Useful Links thread in my forum signature under Guides IIRC). Map "Deep Space Nine (Space)":
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest. Map "Deep Space Nine (Station)":
Similar problem as the Hathon map: The place could use some livening up. You don't need the whole station, though: Consider blocking off part of it (maybe the sections down- and up-spin from spawn and your contact are closed off for maintenance and blocked off with barricades of some sort). Map "Warp to Cardassia":
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest. Map "Cardassian Space":
Convo with True Way captain:
-- Consider using a premade Cardassian costume for the captain so you can get the uniform.
Fight comments:
-- Setting issue: The True Way are Cardassian ultra-nationalists. I don't personally see them using Nausicaan hired guns; they'd be more likely to use their own people. I'd swap the Nausicaans out for Cardie mobs.
-- Side comment: Whatever guff people give Cryptic's version of the Galaxy-class starship in this game, I'd forgotten how good the USS Bajor looked with all batteries firing, and how fun it is to surprise mobs with a rear-facing torpedo launcher. Torpedo: Spread I + Quantum Torpedo Launcher Mk X [Acc] [CrtD] = cool win. Map "Conference Room":
Map could be removed without affecting story flow. If it were me, I would place an invisible object on the previous map, with the activation animation being the transporter beam. You then make the conversation with the Cardassians a storyboard dialogue. And then maybe while you were grabbing them, the True Way captain called for reinforcements.
Convo with Alket and Taselle:
-- Dialog header: "Memory Alpha is reknowned, even on Cardassia Prime." -> "Memory Alpha is renowned, even on Cardassia Prime." Map with transwarp conduit (didn't catch the name):
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest. Or, in this case, you could have had the True Way captain call for reinforcements. Map "Exiting Transwarp":
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest. Map "Memory Alpha":
Map's first couple of rooms are very empty and could use additional details like consoles and equipment and the like.
You should use the "Legacy Contact" behavior for Nurse Rassa. That way she won't spam her chat bubble. See Kirkfat's tutorial videos for more information on how to program "Legacy Contact" behavior.
Taselle, Alket, and Laakar should just have their names over their heads when you mouse over them. You should change the contacts' names (not the costumes, just their instances on the map) to the characters' names.
Fight with the Circle:
-- Consider having an NPC explain who the Circle are, for the benefit of players who haven't seen the season two premiere of Deep Space Nine. I have watched those episodes recently and I only remembered who they were a few minutes later.
-- On a technical perspective, the Bajoran assassins all have numbers after them. You should change each actor to just "Bajoran Assassin". As for the mobs used, I don't have a problem with your choice of Orions for reskinning, though I personally would have used reskinned True Way. (In Deep Space Nine, Cardassian and Bajoran small arms shoot the same color phaser beam, given that the latter stole most of their weapons from the former.)
The Breen NPC is titled "Breen Commander Science Male 01". Consider naming him something unique.
The console for objective "Identify which viral proteins must be disabled." has an unattached screen that is currently floating in midair. Consider changing consoles or backing it up against something.
Objectives could be less wordy. Conciseness matters for these a lot more than it does for character dialogue (people run off at the mouth, objectives should be short and to-the-point).
Side comment: Teehee, I get to perform experiments on one of those annoying little puffballs! Map "Return to Beta Ursae Sector Block":
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest. Map about returning to Bajor (didn't catch the title):
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest. Map "Bajor Planet (End)":
I bypassed the force field by walking in from the side of the building before I realized the guard was out in front of it. You either need more force fields, or you need to place it blocking the door itself (I personally would do the latter: it's less work).
Cure crate is floating about 0.1 meters off the ground (guesstimating). I would turn off snap-to-grid temporarily and adjust its y-coordinate. Map "Bajoran Space Final":
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest.
The spawn point is inside Bajor's atmosphere and most Starfleet ships really aren't supposed to go any lower than low orbit. I would move the spawn point further away from the planet. Overall Score: 2/5.
Pros: The story concept is good and the dialogue is usually okay.
Cons: The dialogue is a bit flat at times (for example: Taselle just had her father get murdered right in front of her, but then in the next room she's all business). And the maps need work. Easily half of them could be culled completely without really affecting anything, and the ones to keep are awfully empty.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Rule is to play at least one mission on the list to get your mission added (and a guaranteed review from me). Which one you pick doesn't really matter, I'd prefer if it was one without feedback yet. I'd also like people to actually reciprocate reviews when someone plays theirs, although its not a rule.
Thanks for joining!
Thanks Zorbane...
It seems that real life has decided to encroach on my playtime... Hopefully, I'll be able to get some free time tomorrow night...
Fair warning, I didn't write it to be Romulan-friendly (haven't played a Rom toon yet so I wouldn't even know where to start).
All right, then you've got a verb tense problem. Historian should probably say "will be", not "was".
You mean the tubby Klingon with the restaurant? That guy's hilarious!
I misunderstood youur post on B & S. I will use my Lvl 50 toon.
I messed around in the tailor and edited Garak. He is probably as close as possible to his actual appearance. I suppose the differences can be excused by his age. I originally exaggerated his eyes and nose to be a bit of a charicature to make up for the limits of the tailor. After a google image search last night I feel I am much closer.
I fixed the problems in the abandoned mine and most of the typo's you pointed out. Thanks again.
A TIME TO SEARCH: ENTER MY FOUNDRY MISSION at the RISA SYSTEM Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
"Orders Form the Top" by @Duncan-Idaho
Review by eldil
The "String of Gags as a plotline" concept has a been around for a while. It apparently works great for movies like "Naked Gun" and "Scary Movie". A lot of people find it extremely entertaining, I don't happen to be a fan of the genre.
With that being said, a lot of your names are quite funny. I started a list of my favorites, but I abandoned it when it got to a half a page. I also loved the reference to the ship "Warping in, warping out, and then warping back in again..."
There were a few other good jokes, but in the end it really just felt like a grinder with a lot of funny names.
If that's what you were going for then, (based on it's own merits) Good Job. There were some decent fights, and I left with an inventory full of loot. Plus, as I said before, the names are really funny...
I think you could flesh out some of the gags, cut out some grinding, and make it into a decent comedic story. Your premise would work well for that.
But if you just want to fly around blowing stuff up, and getting a chuckle out of it, then leave it as-is...
Zorbane, thank you for your review! I appreciate all the compliments and feedback.
I was able to correct some of the things you mentioned. I will be making other revisions soon! Hope you'll play the next installment when it gets released hopefully in December
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] "The time has come to see the world as it is." - Captain James T. Kirk Twitter - @SDVargo
So, this won't be a "fine toothed comb" review because I really can't think of much to say about it except that it's awesome. I loved the narrative style, it added an extra dimension to the experience. The whole thing was very immersive.
There are a couple map changes that I would normally consider excessive, and suggest finding a way to eliminate them, but you pull them off. They add to the immersion/realism that you've got going on.
Your choice of words doesn't always follow established Star Trek norms (Skipper, C.I.C., etc.) but it reinforces the overall "military" feel of the mission. The result is a well-crafted, immersive experience.
**********************************
Ok, I've said "immersive" too many times. Probably because I'm half asleep...
If anyone decides to play "Contact Squared part 1", I need a little help:
I've gotten a couple reports of an untargetable enemy in the mission. The players who reported it didn't give me enough information to find the problem. The best info points to a commando on the second map.
I've done several playthroughs (on the live version) and have not been able to replicate the problem.
If you encounter the issue, can you give me some more detailed info so that I can fix the issue?
Great mission (going to use great a lot) with a great story, great detail and great maps. It was also greatly polished (I don't know if that is grammatically correct). Of course I gave it a great 5 stars.
I do have issues though and that's in the use of the dialogue. One I didn't really like the "Skipper" as it isn't something I expect my crew to call my character. Every time it showed up it kinda booted me out of immersion. Same with some of the terminology used, basically what Eldil says.
Also while the dialogue used was certainly interesting (description of the scene + dialogue) I felt it kinda broke the "Show, Don't Tell" mantra in designing video games (or in this case Foundry Missions). Players are playing a video game not a visual novel. In all it didn't bother me too much but just set off my "spidey senses".
Detailed Feedback:
Prologue
Referred to character as [Rank] [FirstName] [LastName]. My character only has a last name so it shows up as Vice Admiral Zorbane Zorbane. Something to keep in mind
Map - Malon IV
Nice Map
Map - Malon II
How does the freighter get to DS9 on impulse only, that would take years!!!
Map USS Marduk - CIC
Weird thing happened in teh end I hit the beam home thing and nothing happened. The second time it worked. Maybe I accidentally moved while the animation was giong on...just thought I'd mention
There's a lot of problems with this mission, although it is the first one for you so it's not like it isn't expected. To me it was a very bare bones mission, something you'd set up before actually adding life to the mission itself. I did not give this mission a rating as for me it is in an incomplete state and requires a lot of work.
There are two significant issues.
1. Way too many maps
There are so many maps in this mission that could be removed. When putting in a map think if it adds anything to the story. Going from point A to point B and then beaming down doesn't add anything. It could easily be put in dialogue in a previous map "hey let's head to Bajor!" and then show up on bajor on the next map. No need three maps, one to warp out, one that is literally in warp and one to get to bajor itself. This happens many times. There is also a map with no objectives at all. I showed up on a bridge and then I beamed away.
Included there are some maps where you just do one thing and leave. Such things should also be avoided.
Map transitions should be left to a minimum. The less time the player is map changing, the more time the player is spent in your story immersing themselves in it.
I put some thought into this and I figured I could have done this with a some minor changes in only one or two maps. I will list the two rewritten missions outlines at the end of this post.
2. Mission is driven by objectives and not by the story
A lot of times I would look to the objectives for what to do next. While this is fine the story shouldn't be based on this. I had a very vague idea (or none at all) of what I was actually doing. One of the biggest exampels of this (and the only real map where multiple things are done at once) is in the lab when creating the cure. A whole bunch of interact with object objectives came up in a row but I didn't really learn anything storywise. What could be added to make it nicer is after every interact a dialogue would pop up stating what happened, and then what the next step should be.
Here is a quick example of story driven objective:
Setting. There is a hostage situation and you beam down. Two different ways for the author to handle this is.
Objective: Defeat the hostage takers.
or
Dialogue:
Tactical - "Sir, the hostage takers are threatening to execute the hostages if they don't get what they want!"
Hostage Taker - "That's right, and you know what I'm going to kill one RIGHT NOW!"
Tactical - "Oh no we have to stop them!"
Objective: Defeat the hostage takers
They both end up doing the same thing but in the second example it gives the player a reason to do the objective other than just "finish the objective".
What I recommend is since you now have given a shot at using the Foundry and have more or less figured out how it works TECHNICALLY, you should play a few highly rated foundry missions and see how those authors use it. See how they use the foundry to move a story along and how their objectives aren't tasks that the author assigns to a player but things the player does in order to move the story forward. Also see how they deal with moving between maps, some which are significant distances apart.
On to map details:
Prologue
Typo in the description "He is requestingyou to leave..."
Map - Warp
No point to this map, all it does is change to another map.
Map - Plotting a course
No point to this map as well, if you want the player to travel to bajor you can use a door near bajor itself in the beta ursae sector block and drop all these entirely. You could even have the player go to the "real" hathon and talk to the npcs that are already there
No interact name tied ot the forcefield. To change that click on the object in the foundry editor and you will see a new option called "Triggers"
The NPCs still have their default names: ex Bajoran Construction Worker #2
This map, while not as bad as the previous two where nothing actually happened was still a very short map where the player does one thing and then changes map. Some of us call that a "One Objective Wonder"
Map - Deep Space Nine (Space)
Again nothing on this map
Map - Deep Space Nine (Station Interior)
Short map, talk to a guy and leave
Map - Warp to Cardassia
Nothing going on here again
Map - Cardassian Space
The objective states "We are being haield by a Cardassian Ship!"
If the objective wasn't there like that I would have no idea what to do. You can put pop up dialogues that appear when a map loads so you could have a popup dialogue with oneo f your boffs saying "Sir we have entered orbit of Cardassia. Standby a ship is hailing us! It is requesting that we get within range of their shortrange comm array." Then have the objective be : Talk to the Cardassian Ship. This way is much more immersive than the player going "Oh the objective is telling me to do that so Ok I'll do as it says"
The Cardassian Ship kinda just sits there, which was weird to me
Map - Conference Room
Very short map again. talk to people and then change map
Map - Teneebia Sector Space
Nothing going on here
Map - After this one
Literally nothign happened, I didn't even get to write the map name down and I already changed map
Map - Memory Alpha
NPCs are named Bajoran Assassin 1 Bajoran Assassin 2 etc
The story is disjointed between when the assassins attacked and Alket getting hurt. There was no mention that he was even here, and if there was it was lost in the many map transitions because they break the story up
The next objective is "Assist Taselle with diagnostic assembly". I don't know why I'm doing it other than the mission is telilng me to. In the previous dialogue you could have mentioned something like "I need help doing blabblah"
Breen named "Breen Commander Science Male 01"
Some kind of update of what's going on when I'm doing all the sciencey stuff would be nice. I was literally just pressing buttons and that was it. The Objectives were movin the storyline, not the story itself.
Return to beta ursae sector block
Nothing going on
Bajoran Space (end)
Nothing going on
Spelled energize wrong in the exit map dialogue button
Bajoran Space Final
Nothing going on
My versions of this mission [SPOILERS IN CASE ANYONE ELSE IS READING THIS]
Version 1:
Get mission from mission giver about a disease in Bajor and how you must get to Cardassia to find some researcher to research a cure
Mission Starts at Cardassia System in the Beta Ursae Sector Block (not sure if Cardassia can actually be used as a door but that's not important)
Map 1 - Cardassian Lab
Speak to the cardassian and convince him to help
He gets on your ship and announce that they need to head to an advanced research lab on Bajor
Map 2 - Bajoran Lab
Arrive at the lab, get ambushed by terrorists where the cardassian researcher gets killed
Help the remaining researchers devise a cure. When that's done go to another room where the sick bajorans are (in quarantine of course). Cure them
Talk to the researchers about the happy ending.
Finished
Version 2:
Just take out Map 1, since he was already willing to help. In the mission acceptance dialogue it can be mentioned that he already accepted help and you are assigned to help/protect him.
Map 1 - Bajoran Lab
Arrive at the lab late but too late! He is killed in an attack that you eventually fight off.
Help the remaining researchers devise a cure. When that's done go to another room where the sick bajorans are (in quarantine of course). Cure them
Talk to the researchers about the happy ending.
Finished
Either of these versions will still tell the whole story that is in your mission but with much less "doing nothing".
Final Note: I hope you don't find my feedback discouraging. There are a lot of problems but they are common problems that I see in many author's first missions. I'm also totally up to answering any questions you have or give any advice you want.
There's a lot of problems with this mission, although it is the first one for you so it's not like it isn't expected. To me it was a very bare bones mission, something you'd set up before actually adding life to the mission itself. I did not give this mission a rating as for me it is in an incomplete state and requires a lot of work.
There are two significant issues.
1. Way too many maps
There are so many maps in this mission that could be removed. When putting in a map think if it adds anything to the story. Going from point A to point B and then beaming down doesn't add anything. It could easily be put in dialogue in a previous map "hey let's head to Bajor!" and then show up on bajor on the next map. No need three maps, one to warp out, one that is literally in warp and one to get to bajor itself. This happens many times. There is also a map with no objectives at all. I showed up on a bridge and then I beamed away.
Included there are some maps where you just do one thing and leave. Such things should also be avoided.
Map transitions should be left to a minimum. The less time the player is map changing, the more time the player is spent in your story immersing themselves in it.
I put some thought into this and I figured I could have done this with a some minor changes in only one or two maps. I will list the two rewritten missions outlines at the end of this post.
2. Mission is driven by objectives and not by the story
A lot of times I would look to the objectives for what to do next. While this is fine the story shouldn't be based on this. I had a very vague idea (or none at all) of what I was actually doing. One of the biggest exampels of this (and the only real map where multiple things are done at once) is in the lab when creating the cure. A whole bunch of interact with object objectives came up in a row but I didn't really learn anything storywise. What could be added to make it nicer is after every interact a dialogue would pop up stating what happened, and then what the next step should be.
Final Note: I hope you don't find my feedback discouraging. There are a lot of problems but they are common problems that I see in many author's first missions. I'm also totally up to answering any questions you have or give any advice you want.
Zorbane, this is the second detailed review I've gotten and both reviewers said about the same thing. Given that advice, I've decided to withdraw my mission, totally revamp it, and re-release it, once I have the issues regarding the maps and other snags fixed. Thank you so much for your review. I may message you with some questions about how to fix things as I go. I appreciate your honest assessment, even if it was hard to read my first baby being picked apart...
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
My very first Foundry Mission, Healing Old Wounds, has been completely reworked and rereleased!
(Also, a quick shout-out, please visit Starbase UGC for all your Foundry needs!)
Zorbane, this is the second detailed review I've gotten and both reviewers said about the same thing. Given that advice, I've decided to withdraw my mission, totally revamp it, and re-release it, once I have the issues regarding the maps and other snags fixed. Thank you so much for your review. I may message you with some questions about how to fix things as I go. I appreciate your honest assessment, even if it was hard to read my first baby being picked apart...
Try out other missions (Cryptic and Foundry) and see how they do it. All part of the learning process
Also while the dialogue used was certainly interesting (description of the scene + dialogue) I felt it kinda broke the "Show, Don't Tell" mantra in designing video games (or in this case Foundry Missions). Players are playing a video game not a visual novel. In all it didn't bother me too much but just set off my "spidey senses".
I've noticed this particular element has been somewhat of a base breaker. It's a bit of a balancing act between "Show, Don't Tell", what the Foundry is actually physically capable of showing, and adding unnecessary stuff (like a whole extra map for arriving at the USS Marduk that I removed in v1.2).
Prologue
Referred to character as [Rank] [FirstName] [LastName]. My character only has a last name so it shows up as Vice Admiral Zorbane Zorbane. Something to keep in mind
Yeah, and with Bajoran player characters the names show up in the wrong order (I'm Kanril Eleya, not Eleya Kanril). It bugs me, too. I wish we had a [FullName] tag; would've used that instead. It's why I addressed the PC as [LastName] everywhere else.
Map - Malon II
How does the freighter get to DS9 on impulse only, that would take years!!!
Note I used the "warp out" animation. In my head the Shargrash warped to DS9 and docked on one impulse engine.
On the other hand, in the novelization the Shargrash just went to the space station over at Malon IV, so maybe I should write that instead.
Map USS Marduk - CIC
Weird thing happened in teh end I hit the beam home thing and nothing happened. The second time it worked. Maybe I accidentally moved while the animation was giong on...just thought I'd mention
I'll check that right away and if need be fix it when the editor comes back. EDIT: Moving during the animation duplicated it. It worked fine when I didn't move. Did find another bug or two introduced during my last update, though.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Opening Thoughts:
Eta eridini - Eta Eridani.
The mission description made me laugh at the end.
Map 1: Hobb System - Surveillance
- The effect here upon entering is really neat- the nebulas being so soft, they almost... flow? with the swirls on the planet (this is my artist coming through here). Nice touch of drama when you first enter.
-Oh first objective, where are you...? (had some trouble hitting the trigger, but it wasn't too bad.)
Map 2: Zetacron Prime Station
-like the sparking and fire details. They mesh nicely with the orange lighting of the set.
-the lone Klingon on the right side of the map here is standing on the corner of one of the wall supports.
-the interrogation/prison room is very interesting! I'm liking those generators poking out in between, honestly.
-Lets see - Let's see, because it's a contraction of let and us.
-I like that option at the end to choose the prisoner's fate- off to Qo'noS with you!
Map 3: Hobb System - Staging
-How did my ship end up up here?
-Oh, that map transition dialogue for your captain is perfect. Please don't change it. Ever. I'm not even playing a Klingon and I cracked up.
Map 4: System HoQev na'qla - Pirates' Cove
-oops, nothing to say about this!
Map 5: The Flayed Ferengi - Bridge
-interesting dialogue here, glad to see Jocelyn's a little more than just a pretty face.
Maps 6-8:
-There's a lot of quick map changes here is really all I have to say about them, but at least for some of them (if not all) it's a necessity of the storyline.
-Having a Klingon go to Bajor and then join a mixed Vulcan/Bajoran faith promises to be very interesting.
-I like the end comment too- working for pirates and not being them. Nice.
Map 9 (If this number is wrong I have lost count and if so I'm really sorry): Xectar System
-Liking the blue nebula here.
-onward!
-I find myself liking Jocelyn's little comments more than I initially expected... wouldn't mind knowing a little more about this Tonga Red incident.
Map 10: Temple of the New Day
-Jocelyn's image reads "Jocelyn Kris Robe", and I'm guessing Robe was an identifier when you were working in the Foundry...?
-I'd love to hear a little more from Heva, just as a personal preference, I'm really curious about her thoughts regarding her father and Klingon culture in general.~
-I do think the priest has the right amount of mysteriousness and not talking to suit his role there, nice.
Map 11: Xectar System - Battle
-"Your mother repairs plasma conduits, Starfleet."
-for a moment there, until Jocelyn speaks, I was confused as to whether they were speaking of Jocelyn or Heva (I think mostly because of the dialogue option earlier to tell Jocelyn you were her prisoner). It's not major as it becomes clear the moment Jocelyn shows up, but putting her name or something in the BoFF's dialogue might help.
Map 12: U.S.S. Concorde
-nice touch with the rumble effect. Also pretty much the entire map and its details!
-also liking the whole 'find the right klingon thing'.
-fighting is a nice challenge; a respawn point closer would be nice, though.
-Aaaand I seem to have gotten stuck here after the boss fight. On the Speak With Captain Zinskey objective, to be specific. He doesn't appear to be anywhere on the map, though the map marker is there; I can't make any trigger buttons appear. Honestly, it's entirely possible that I'm just missing something because I'm tired. Please note that at the time of posting I have not tried reloading the mission; I will try that tomorrow but at the moment I don't have time to go back through all of the maps.
Current Thoughts:
I'm enjoying it quite a bit so far and am looking forward to finding out what happens with Heva.
-Also, I just noticed the comment earlier about the first reach marker... I found it slightly below the coordinates you enter the map at.
EDIT: Okay, going to try this again!
Hooray, he appeared this time! Now to continue with the rest of the mission.
-I really like the touch of the crew dying along with Zinsky, and being unable to save them although you have multiple options. Or... seemingly, anyway! Nice, I like that little twist!
-Did not see the part with Jocelyn coming. Looking forward to a continuation of her story.
Map 13: Xectar System - Staging
-There's a nice sense of urgency in the dialogue here.
Map 14: Runabout
-this is an extremely large runabout.
-nice twist with the choices at the end! I hope this isn't the end of Kris?
Closing Thoughts:
Thoroughly enjoyed the mission, particularly the characters within, and I would love to see them return! Nice job, worth playing for anyone looking for a good story of medium length or so. And it's even more awesome considering it's a Klingon mission!
Thanks for the review mate. I'm glad you enjoyed it, especially since I know there are a few transition busts in the mission. I appreciate you taking the time to work through them.
I haven't had much time to play STO or build foundry missions but I'm hoping to get back into it a bit once the foundry is up and running again.
The Tonga Red incident is a reference to a TOS episode the Way to Eden. It had hippies in it.
I don't want to give up away to much about my next mission, but just know that treacherous trills on the run from starfleet intelligence have a habit of turning up in unexpected places.
It took me a while, but I finally finished my first Foundry creation. The idea behind it is to give players a chance to experience the first contact between Remans and Vlutga (the guys that so graciously gave us permission to have Fleet Dilithium Mines). I know the Fleet Mines have been out a while, but I'd still like to tell the story. Eventually, I hope to create more missions to continue the story.
The mission has 5 maps; 4 ground and 1 space (meant to be played in a shuttle).
I would appreciate some feedback - like I said, this is my first creation, so any suggestions would be great.
Thanks!
Title: Reman Dilithium Run
Author: Stolu
Faction: Fed
"Crewman, your resume says you are telepathic. Then could you please explain to me why you failed in your attempt to confiscate contraband from the crew?!"
It took me a while, but I finally finished my first Foundry creation. The idea behind it is to give players a chance to experience the first contact between Remans and Vlutga (the guys that so graciously gave us permission to have Fleet Dilithium Mines). I know the Fleet Mines have been out a while, but I'd still like to tell the story. Eventually, I hope to create more missions to continue the story.
The mission has 5 maps; 4 ground and 1 space (meant to be played in a shuttle).
I would appreciate some feedback - like I said, this is my first creation, so any suggestions would be great.
Thanks!
Title: Reman Dilithium Run
Author: Stolu
Faction: Fed
Sounds interesting. What level is the mission?
A TIME TO SEARCH: ENTER MY FOUNDRY MISSION at the RISA SYSTEM Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
Minimum level 31. It may still be republishing though...
"Crewman, your resume says you are telepathic. Then could you please explain to me why you failed in your attempt to confiscate contraband from the crew?!"
Comments
I just started "Bait and Switch" on my lunch... unfortunately, I'll have to finish after work because I ran out of time (30 min. lunches kinda stink), BUT WOW! I loooove it! Very cohesive storyline and interesting style.
(Also, a quick shout-out, please visit Starbase UGC for all your Foundry needs!)
I'll be doing remarks map by map as I go through them. "Convo" will be shorthand for "conversation". With typos, the changes I make will be in red.
Map of the observatory (forgot to check the name):
Interesting way to build a transporter pad. Nice for a unique look.
Love all the little details like the racks of ship models.
Love the HHGTTG shout-out in the bar, and the cantina area looks very good. (They're even preparing food by hand instead of replicating!)
Console in room with Undine says "Interact" instead of something custom.
Convo with L'var:
-- Player: "It still is weighing heavilly on my mind." -> "... heavily on my mind."
-- Player: "Your still not as Vulcan as I am." -> "You're..." or "You are..."
Convo with Kurland and Garak:
-- The facsimile of Kurland is okay. I think his skin tone is grayer in the game but we don't have access to it.
-- Dialog headed "Naturally." is missing Kurland's face.
-- I don't think Cardassians have mustaches or eyebrows like Garak's clerk does.
-- Good job duplicating Garak's dialog patterns, but I think you made his eyes and nose slightly too large.
-- Player: "What is hs password?" -> "... his password?"
-- Garak: "Your welcome Captain ..." -> "You're welcome, Captain..."
Map "Deep Space":
Transwarp conduit says "Interact" instead of something custom.
Just wondering, what the heck asset did you use for that yellow flash when the ship goes to transwarp? Never seen it before.
Upon reaching the end of the transwarp, I personally would have triggered the appearance of the new star system with an interact object using the "warp in" animation. Going back to impulse felt a little sudden without it.
Map "Droxine City Spaceport":
Clever security scanner design, and I always find custom-built interiors impressive because I don't have the patience to construct them.
Convo with historian:
-- First two dialogue options need periods at the end.
-- Did I travel through time? Because the current year in Star Trek Online is 2409, and the historian claims Droxine was under Cardassian rule until 2411.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail shout-out FTW!
Map "Droxine City":
Interesting parkour scenario.
Why reskinned Jem'Hadar and Romulans as Cardassian mobs instead of just Cardassians?
Map "Dive Bar":
Wisest Tribble console says "Interact" instead of something custom.
Just a side comment, the Amphibian is quite possibly the weirdest rubber-forehead alien I've ever seen anybody make in the Foundry.
Convo with the Amphibian:
-- Amphibian: ... on one of the moons of Kinjun II" is missing a period at the end, as is the player's response to it.
Objectives: The word 'commission' has two 'm's.
Convo with tentacle alien:
-- Player: Unnaceptable -> Unacceptable. One 'n', two 'c's.
Convo with Butler Okona at dabo table:
-- Okona: "Your in Starfleet. Why not take one of you own ships?" -> "You're in Starfleet. Why not take one of your own ships?"
-- Player: "I will pay you handsomely" missing period.
-- Okona: "... with the Thot and his crony's." -> "... with the Thot and his cronies."
Was something supposed to happen with the Nausicaans? He just said "You are a dead man!" and let me walk past.
Convo with Kell on ship:
-- Okona over PA system:
---- "Ships public adress" -> "Ship's public address"
---- "Heading is set we are ready to go to warp." -> "Heading is set. We are ready to go to warp." or something similar.
Map "Moon Surface":
I like the way the map is set up to allow you to sneak between and around the Breen mob groups if you time it right. You are supposed to be being stealthy here, after all.
Map transition dialog:
-- Tac Officer: "thoseexplosives" -> "those explosives"
Map "Abandoned Mine":
Objectives: "Set up us the bomb"? Zero Wing? Really? (Not criticizing, just made me roll my eyes a bit.)
Second charge, inside the mine, is already visible when "Set up charges" interact is up. I would change that one to an invisible object or something of that nature. It also fails to disappear after detonating.
Why are my boffs suddenly attacking the magma?
Crate on one of the catwalks in the southwestern room is floating in midair.
Map "Erstwhile V Interior":
Initial interact object says "Interact" instead of something custom.
Convo with tac officer:
-- "... has a forcfield door." -> "... has a forcefield door."
I like the way you handled the explosive decompression effect.
Convo with Trajan:
-- "I am ammassing a fortune here and you and your crew have gotten in my way. Lets just say..." -> I am amassing a fortune here and you and your crew have gotten in my way. Let's just say..."
Convo with Erstwhile V crew:
-- Sshallah: "Were gonna need a miracle Captain!" -> "We're gonna need a miracle, Captain!"
Map "Kinjun II":
Why reskinned Hirogen as Breen mobs instead of just using Breen?
Overall score: 4/5.
Pros: The maps are extremely well-designed and choreographed. I particularly liked the spaceport map and the explosive decompression effect. I also found the various shout-outs amusing. Finally, I really liked how well you duplicated Elim Garak's speech patterns (he's one of my favorite DS9 characters).
Cons: A lot of typos, particularly underuse of commas (early on I gave up trying to keep track of them except when there was another typo to grab). Also some questionable mob choices.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
My comment was intended for Aleniskendra who was looking for a mission she could play at level 12.
Yeah, I did. Probably should have said something to that effect.
I misunderstood.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
I've been so busy with the review tool that I've neglected doing any reviews this past week or so.
I did have one tiny question, though... how is it possible to have Jadzia Dax in it, when she's dead?
Zorbane, I've now successfully played (and enjoyed!) a mission from the list... could you please add my mission, Healing Old Wounds?
Thank you all! :-)
I can't wait to level up enough to try part 2 of Bait and Switch!
P.S. I've started a Foundry Trailer Database and I'd love to add a trailer for Bait and Switch or any other missions that are out there. You can find my site here: http://stofoundrytrailers.wordpress.com
(Also, a quick shout-out, please visit Starbase UGC for all your Foundry needs!)
I didn't. The USS Jadzia Dax is a ship named after her (a Luna-class, in my head). Glad you enjoyed the mission!
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
(Also, a quick shout-out, please visit Starbase UGC for all your Foundry needs!)
Thanks for playing my mission. I meant it to be a fun change of pace from all the official starfleet stuff a captain does. My choice of mobs was to keep the mission at level 16 . I never can nail down all those typo's it seems, but your review should help. The unibrow moustache and mullet on the Cardassian was a bit of an over the top way of making him look sleazy . I really miss costume import and all the fun ways you could mess with the tailor with it. I will have to give your mission a try with my Romulan toon.
With regards to Droxine city what was meant was that it was under Cardassian rule until a future date. Just like how Hong Kong was under British rule in the 20th century.
I appreciated all the feedback on Garak as no one commented on him before and he is one of my favorites too. I was thinking of doing a little touch up on his face. I think the animations kind of ruin him though.
The Klingon chef is another nod to DS9.
I have never seen the problem you had in the mine with the bomb being visible. This might be new. The magma was an experiment I recently added some invisible targs for players who get too playful and jump into the magma. Cryptic did not make the magma kill the player so people just get stuck down there. I have a bunch of invisible walls to prevent this.
Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
All right, then you've got a verb tense problem. Historian should probably say "will be", not "was".
You mean the tubby Klingon with the restaurant? That guy's hilarious!
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
Great mission with strong plot and extremely polished. There was a lot of good detail put into building the maps as well. I gave it 5/5.
The main issue I have with this mission is that there are a lot of map transitions between maps where only 1 or 2 things happen). After the detailed comment list I give an example of how I would have compressed multiple maps into one. To be clear I'm not saying "you have to do it this way" but it's just an example of how I would have done things different.
Details:
General
There is a lot of "Wall of text". Just something I noticed. Not everyone will be a fan of it but it doesn't bother me too much
A lot of map transitions that could have been avoided
Would have liked some choice on player dialogue even if it goes to the same dialogue in the end. I felt like I was be being forced to feel in a certain way (although its hard to avoid this in STO)
Prologue
It's important to include the start location in the first objective. In this case it's "Rendezvous with the U.S.S. Longstreet". An example of what I would have done in your case "Rendezvous with the U.S.S. Long Street (Severin System, Regulus Sector Block)"
Map - Starbase 117
"One Objective Wonder". This map doesn't add anything to the mission as all you do is fly to the longstreet and beam down to the next map cuasing another quick map transition
Map - U.S.S. Longstreet
There's an NPC called Crewman2#7, Crewman2 and Crewman2#1
During the introduction Captain Edward Jameson introduces everyone. When he gets to you he says [Rank] [FirstName] [LastName]. An issue with that is the toon I was playing with only has a last name and he ends up saying "...this is Vice Admiral Zorbane, Zorbane..." Just something to keep in mind
Nice work on the map
Map - Deck 10
The current president (according to lore) is President Aennik Okeg - http://memory-beta.wikia.com/wiki/Aennik_Okeg
This map is alos kind of short, you just run to a spot adn talk to someone. This could have technically been part of the previosu map
Map - Battle Bridge
One of my boffs got stuck in teh turbolift
I know its a fed Klingon that's in charge of the Interceptor but he doesnt really talk like one.
Short map (two objectives)
Map - Delta Vienna System
The three "Scan the wreckage" objectives are in range when you warp in
The attacking ships just sit there and don't seen very "attacky". This is normal for Cryptic style missions but if you want to make things more intense you can have the ships actively attack either by spawning within weapons range or outside weapons range and patrolling into weapons range
Map - U.S.S. Interceptor Bridge
Like what you've done with this map
Poor Red Shirt
Non-Federation console used to remateralize the "assets"
Map - Imperon System
No indication to where the enmy are initially, i just flew around randomly at first trying to figure out what to od
Same comment about space battle as above, they just sit there ala Cryptic missions (aka boring!!)
Ships were rather weak if tehy were supposed to be the dreaded Phoenix Dawn.
Example to keep the maps to a limit:
Enter System - Ready to beam onto Starbase 117 (drops map 1 completely)
Talk to the Admiral and Starfleet Intelligence and meet the President into one map (Combines two maps into one)
Remove battle bridge map and start the Delta Vienna System at warp and have the dialogue appear while you're on teh ship and then warp in when appropriate
(removes one map)
The Last map when you run to the escape pod could be remoevd by having the player
run "backwards" on the current map to get to the escape pod.
Total - 4 less maps
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
I tested this using the USS Bajor NCC-97238, a Galaxy-class exploration cruiser with a semi-canonical budget loadout.
I'll be doing remarks map by map as I go through them. "Convo" will be shorthand for "conversation". With typos, the changes I make will be in red.
Mission offer popup is a little clinical, and based on the storyline you could have easily been more unique and used the Cryptic map Hathon itself as the starting point rather than going to the overused console at Earth Spacedock.
Map "Warp":
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest.
Map transition dialogue:
-- Player: "Go to Warp7 !" -> "Go to Warp 7!"
Map "Plotting a course through Bajoran space":
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest. Hathon, Bajor's capital city, is available as a Cryptic map and could easily be used as the mission starting point instead of running through two unnecessary maps.
Map "Bajoran Surface":
The map is extremely empty. What I would have done instead is build an interior map (your contact's house, or whatever) reached via the Hathon Cryptic map, or possibly just have the entire conversation with your contact done over a screen and then enter the mission proper from one of the map's entry points.
Failing that, use the Bajoran System as the mission entry point from sector space (I think we can do that but I haven't checked). Use the costume designer to randomly generate several Bajoran costumes and scatter them about the mission. You can also reskin Federation mobs as Bajorans and use the "Patrol" behavior to get groups of people walking around. If you haven't already done so, I recommend you take a look at Kirkfat's tutorial videos for more information on NPC behavior settings (I don't have the link handy but it's in the Useful Links thread in my forum signature under Guides IIRC).
Map "Deep Space Nine (Space)":
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest.
Map "Deep Space Nine (Station)":
Similar problem as the Hathon map: The place could use some livening up. You don't need the whole station, though: Consider blocking off part of it (maybe the sections down- and up-spin from spawn and your contact are closed off for maintenance and blocked off with barricades of some sort).
Map "Warp to Cardassia":
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest.
Map "Cardassian Space":
Convo with True Way captain:
-- Consider using a premade Cardassian costume for the captain so you can get the uniform.
Fight comments:
-- Setting issue: The True Way are Cardassian ultra-nationalists. I don't personally see them using Nausicaan hired guns; they'd be more likely to use their own people. I'd swap the Nausicaans out for Cardie mobs.
-- Side comment: Whatever guff people give Cryptic's version of the Galaxy-class starship in this game, I'd forgotten how good the USS Bajor looked with all batteries firing, and how fun it is to surprise mobs with a rear-facing torpedo launcher. Torpedo: Spread I + Quantum Torpedo Launcher Mk X [Acc] [CrtD] = cool win.
Map "Conference Room":
Map could be removed without affecting story flow. If it were me, I would place an invisible object on the previous map, with the activation animation being the transporter beam. You then make the conversation with the Cardassians a storyboard dialogue. And then maybe while you were grabbing them, the True Way captain called for reinforcements.
Convo with Alket and Taselle:
-- Dialog header: "Memory Alpha is reknowned, even on Cardassia Prime." -> "Memory Alpha is renowned, even on Cardassia Prime."
Map with transwarp conduit (didn't catch the name):
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest. Or, in this case, you could have had the True Way captain call for reinforcements.
Map "Exiting Transwarp":
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest.
Map "Memory Alpha":
Map's first couple of rooms are very empty and could use additional details like consoles and equipment and the like.
You should use the "Legacy Contact" behavior for Nurse Rassa. That way she won't spam her chat bubble. See Kirkfat's tutorial videos for more information on how to program "Legacy Contact" behavior.
Taselle, Alket, and Laakar should just have their names over their heads when you mouse over them. You should change the contacts' names (not the costumes, just their instances on the map) to the characters' names.
Fight with the Circle:
-- Consider having an NPC explain who the Circle are, for the benefit of players who haven't seen the season two premiere of Deep Space Nine. I have watched those episodes recently and I only remembered who they were a few minutes later.
-- On a technical perspective, the Bajoran assassins all have numbers after them. You should change each actor to just "Bajoran Assassin". As for the mobs used, I don't have a problem with your choice of Orions for reskinning, though I personally would have used reskinned True Way. (In Deep Space Nine, Cardassian and Bajoran small arms shoot the same color phaser beam, given that the latter stole most of their weapons from the former.)
The Breen NPC is titled "Breen Commander Science Male 01". Consider naming him something unique.
The console for objective "Identify which viral proteins must be disabled." has an unattached screen that is currently floating in midair. Consider changing consoles or backing it up against something.
Objectives could be less wordy. Conciseness matters for these a lot more than it does for character dialogue (people run off at the mouth, objectives should be short and to-the-point).
Side comment: Teehee, I get to perform experiments on one of those annoying little puffballs!
Map "Return to Beta Ursae Sector Block":
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest.
Map about returning to Bajor (didn't catch the title):
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest.
Map "Bajor Planet (End)":
I bypassed the force field by walking in from the side of the building before I realized the guard was out in front of it. You either need more force fields, or you need to place it blocking the door itself (I personally would do the latter: it's less work).
Cure crate is floating about 0.1 meters off the ground (guesstimating). I would turn off snap-to-grid temporarily and adjust its y-coordinate.
Map "Bajoran Space Final":
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow in the slightest.
The spawn point is inside Bajor's atmosphere and most Starfleet ships really aren't supposed to go any lower than low orbit. I would move the spawn point further away from the planet.
Overall Score: 2/5.
Pros: The story concept is good and the dialogue is usually okay.
Cons: The dialogue is a bit flat at times (for example: Taselle just had her father get murdered right in front of her, but then in the next room she's all business). And the maps need work. Easily half of them could be culled completely without really affecting anything, and the ones to keep are awfully empty.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
Thanks Zorbane...
It seems that real life has decided to encroach on my playtime... Hopefully, I'll be able to get some free time tomorrow night...
My Missions
Contact Squared Part 1
Contact Squared Part 2
Contact Squared: Tribunal (coming soon)
Contact Squared: Shadows (coming... not as soon...)
I misunderstood youur post on B & S. I will use my Lvl 50 toon.
I messed around in the tailor and edited Garak. He is probably as close as possible to his actual appearance. I suppose the differences can be excused by his age. I originally exaggerated his eyes and nose to be a bit of a charicature to make up for the limits of the tailor. After a google image search last night I feel I am much closer.
I fixed the problems in the abandoned mine and most of the typo's you pointed out. Thanks again.
Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
Review by eldil
The "String of Gags as a plotline" concept has a been around for a while. It apparently works great for movies like "Naked Gun" and "Scary Movie". A lot of people find it extremely entertaining, I don't happen to be a fan of the genre.
With that being said, a lot of your names are quite funny. I started a list of my favorites, but I abandoned it when it got to a half a page. I also loved the reference to the ship "Warping in, warping out, and then warping back in again..."
There were a few other good jokes, but in the end it really just felt like a grinder with a lot of funny names.
If that's what you were going for then, (based on it's own merits) Good Job. There were some decent fights, and I left with an inventory full of loot. Plus, as I said before, the names are really funny...
I think you could flesh out some of the gags, cut out some grinding, and make it into a decent comedic story. Your premise would work well for that.
But if you just want to fly around blowing stuff up, and getting a chuckle out of it, then leave it as-is...
My Missions
Contact Squared Part 1
Contact Squared Part 2
Contact Squared: Tribunal (coming soon)
Contact Squared: Shadows (coming... not as soon...)
I was able to correct some of the things you mentioned. I will be making other revisions soon! Hope you'll play the next installment when it gets released hopefully in December
"The time has come to see the world as it is." - Captain James T. Kirk
Twitter - @SDVargo
reviewed by eldil
So, this won't be a "fine toothed comb" review because I really can't think of much to say about it except that it's awesome. I loved the narrative style, it added an extra dimension to the experience. The whole thing was very immersive.
There are a couple map changes that I would normally consider excessive, and suggest finding a way to eliminate them, but you pull them off. They add to the immersion/realism that you've got going on.
Your choice of words doesn't always follow established Star Trek norms (Skipper, C.I.C., etc.) but it reinforces the overall "military" feel of the mission. The result is a well-crafted, immersive experience.
**********************************
Ok, I've said "immersive" too many times. Probably because I'm half asleep...
My Missions
Contact Squared Part 1
Contact Squared Part 2
Contact Squared: Tribunal (coming soon)
Contact Squared: Shadows (coming... not as soon...)
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
If anyone decides to play "Contact Squared part 1", I need a little help:
I've gotten a couple reports of an untargetable enemy in the mission. The players who reported it didn't give me enough information to find the problem. The best info points to a commando on the second map.
I've done several playthroughs (on the live version) and have not been able to replicate the problem.
If you encounter the issue, can you give me some more detailed info so that I can fix the issue?
Thanks in advance,
My Missions
Contact Squared Part 1
Contact Squared Part 2
Contact Squared: Tribunal (coming soon)
Contact Squared: Shadows (coming... not as soon...)
Great mission (going to use great a lot) with a great story, great detail and great maps. It was also greatly polished (I don't know if that is grammatically correct). Of course I gave it a great 5 stars.
I do have issues though and that's in the use of the dialogue. One I didn't really like the "Skipper" as it isn't something I expect my crew to call my character. Every time it showed up it kinda booted me out of immersion. Same with some of the terminology used, basically what Eldil says.
Also while the dialogue used was certainly interesting (description of the scene + dialogue) I felt it kinda broke the "Show, Don't Tell" mantra in designing video games (or in this case Foundry Missions). Players are playing a video game not a visual novel. In all it didn't bother me too much but just set off my "spidey senses".
Detailed Feedback:
Prologue
Referred to character as [Rank] [FirstName] [LastName]. My character only has a last name so it shows up as Vice Admiral Zorbane Zorbane. Something to keep in mind
Map - Malon IV
Nice Map
Map - Malon II
How does the freighter get to DS9 on impulse only, that would take years!!!
Map USS Marduk - CIC
Weird thing happened in teh end I hit the beam home thing and nothing happened. The second time it worked. Maybe I accidentally moved while the animation was giong on...just thought I'd mention
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
There's a lot of problems with this mission, although it is the first one for you so it's not like it isn't expected. To me it was a very bare bones mission, something you'd set up before actually adding life to the mission itself. I did not give this mission a rating as for me it is in an incomplete state and requires a lot of work.
There are two significant issues.
1. Way too many maps
There are so many maps in this mission that could be removed. When putting in a map think if it adds anything to the story. Going from point A to point B and then beaming down doesn't add anything. It could easily be put in dialogue in a previous map "hey let's head to Bajor!" and then show up on bajor on the next map. No need three maps, one to warp out, one that is literally in warp and one to get to bajor itself. This happens many times. There is also a map with no objectives at all. I showed up on a bridge and then I beamed away.
Included there are some maps where you just do one thing and leave. Such things should also be avoided.
Map transitions should be left to a minimum. The less time the player is map changing, the more time the player is spent in your story immersing themselves in it.
I put some thought into this and I figured I could have done this with a some minor changes in only one or two maps. I will list the two rewritten missions outlines at the end of this post.
2. Mission is driven by objectives and not by the story
A lot of times I would look to the objectives for what to do next. While this is fine the story shouldn't be based on this. I had a very vague idea (or none at all) of what I was actually doing. One of the biggest exampels of this (and the only real map where multiple things are done at once) is in the lab when creating the cure. A whole bunch of interact with object objectives came up in a row but I didn't really learn anything storywise. What could be added to make it nicer is after every interact a dialogue would pop up stating what happened, and then what the next step should be.
Here is a quick example of story driven objective:
Setting. There is a hostage situation and you beam down. Two different ways for the author to handle this is.
Objective: Defeat the hostage takers.
or
Dialogue:
Tactical - "Sir, the hostage takers are threatening to execute the hostages if they don't get what they want!"
Hostage Taker - "That's right, and you know what I'm going to kill one RIGHT NOW!"
Tactical - "Oh no we have to stop them!"
Objective: Defeat the hostage takers
They both end up doing the same thing but in the second example it gives the player a reason to do the objective other than just "finish the objective".
What I recommend is since you now have given a shot at using the Foundry and have more or less figured out how it works TECHNICALLY, you should play a few highly rated foundry missions and see how those authors use it. See how they use the foundry to move a story along and how their objectives aren't tasks that the author assigns to a player but things the player does in order to move the story forward. Also see how they deal with moving between maps, some which are significant distances apart.
On to map details:
Prologue
Typo in the description "He is requestingyou to leave..."
Map - Warp
No point to this map, all it does is change to another map.
Map - Plotting a course
No point to this map as well, if you want the player to travel to bajor you can use a door near bajor itself in the beta ursae sector block and drop all these entirely. You could even have the player go to the "real" hathon and talk to the npcs that are already there
No interact name tied ot the forcefield. To change that click on the object in the foundry editor and you will see a new option called "Triggers"
The NPCs still have their default names: ex Bajoran Construction Worker #2
This map, while not as bad as the previous two where nothing actually happened was still a very short map where the player does one thing and then changes map. Some of us call that a "One Objective Wonder"
Map - Deep Space Nine (Space)
Again nothing on this map
Map - Deep Space Nine (Station Interior)
Short map, talk to a guy and leave
Map - Warp to Cardassia
Nothing going on here again
Map - Cardassian Space
The objective states "We are being haield by a Cardassian Ship!"
If the objective wasn't there like that I would have no idea what to do. You can put pop up dialogues that appear when a map loads so you could have a popup dialogue with oneo f your boffs saying "Sir we have entered orbit of Cardassia. Standby a ship is hailing us! It is requesting that we get within range of their shortrange comm array." Then have the objective be : Talk to the Cardassian Ship. This way is much more immersive than the player going "Oh the objective is telling me to do that so Ok I'll do as it says"
The Cardassian Ship kinda just sits there, which was weird to me
Map - Conference Room
Very short map again. talk to people and then change map
Map - Teneebia Sector Space
Nothing going on here
Map - After this one
Literally nothign happened, I didn't even get to write the map name down and I already changed map
Map - Memory Alpha
NPCs are named Bajoran Assassin 1 Bajoran Assassin 2 etc
The story is disjointed between when the assassins attacked and Alket getting hurt. There was no mention that he was even here, and if there was it was lost in the many map transitions because they break the story up
The next objective is "Assist Taselle with diagnostic assembly". I don't know why I'm doing it other than the mission is telilng me to. In the previous dialogue you could have mentioned something like "I need help doing blabblah"
Breen named "Breen Commander Science Male 01"
Some kind of update of what's going on when I'm doing all the sciencey stuff would be nice. I was literally just pressing buttons and that was it. The Objectives were movin the storyline, not the story itself.
Return to beta ursae sector block
Nothing going on
Bajoran Space (end)
Nothing going on
Spelled energize wrong in the exit map dialogue button
Bajoran Space Final
Nothing going on
My versions of this mission [SPOILERS IN CASE ANYONE ELSE IS READING THIS]
Version 1:
Get mission from mission giver about a disease in Bajor and how you must get to Cardassia to find some researcher to research a cure
Mission Starts at Cardassia System in the Beta Ursae Sector Block (not sure if Cardassia can actually be used as a door but that's not important)
Map 1 - Cardassian Lab
Speak to the cardassian and convince him to help
He gets on your ship and announce that they need to head to an advanced research lab on Bajor
Map 2 - Bajoran Lab
Arrive at the lab, get ambushed by terrorists where the cardassian researcher gets killed
Help the remaining researchers devise a cure. When that's done go to another room where the sick bajorans are (in quarantine of course). Cure them
Talk to the researchers about the happy ending.
Finished
Version 2:
Just take out Map 1, since he was already willing to help. In the mission acceptance dialogue it can be mentioned that he already accepted help and you are assigned to help/protect him.
Map 1 - Bajoran Lab
Arrive at the lab late but too late! He is killed in an attack that you eventually fight off.
Help the remaining researchers devise a cure. When that's done go to another room where the sick bajorans are (in quarantine of course). Cure them
Talk to the researchers about the happy ending.
Finished
Either of these versions will still tell the whole story that is in your mission but with much less "doing nothing".
Final Note: I hope you don't find my feedback discouraging. There are a lot of problems but they are common problems that I see in many author's first missions. I'm also totally up to answering any questions you have or give any advice you want.
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
Zorbane, this is the second detailed review I've gotten and both reviewers said about the same thing. Given that advice, I've decided to withdraw my mission, totally revamp it, and re-release it, once I have the issues regarding the maps and other snags fixed. Thank you so much for your review. I may message you with some questions about how to fix things as I go. I appreciate your honest assessment, even if it was hard to read my first baby being picked apart...
(Also, a quick shout-out, please visit Starbase UGC for all your Foundry needs!)
Try out other missions (Cryptic and Foundry) and see how they do it. All part of the learning process
Foundry Mission Database
Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
Untitled Series - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - Commander Rihan
I've noticed this particular element has been somewhat of a base breaker. It's a bit of a balancing act between "Show, Don't Tell", what the Foundry is actually physically capable of showing, and adding unnecessary stuff (like a whole extra map for arriving at the USS Marduk that I removed in v1.2).
Yeah, and with Bajoran player characters the names show up in the wrong order (I'm Kanril Eleya, not Eleya Kanril). It bugs me, too. I wish we had a [FullName] tag; would've used that instead. It's why I addressed the PC as [LastName] everywhere else.
Note I used the "warp out" animation. In my head the Shargrash warped to DS9 and docked on one impulse engine.
On the other hand, in the novelization the Shargrash just went to the space station over at Malon IV, so maybe I should write that instead.
I'll check that right away and if need be fix it when the editor comes back. EDIT: Moving during the animation duplicated it. It worked fine when I didn't move. Did find another bug or two introduced during my last update, though.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
Thanks for the review mate. I'm glad you enjoyed it, especially since I know there are a few transition busts in the mission. I appreciate you taking the time to work through them.
I haven't had much time to play STO or build foundry missions but I'm hoping to get back into it a bit once the foundry is up and running again.
The Tonga Red incident is a reference to a TOS episode the Way to Eden. It had hippies in it.
I don't want to give up away to much about my next mission, but just know that treacherous trills on the run from starfleet intelligence have a habit of turning up in unexpected places.
The mission has 5 maps; 4 ground and 1 space (meant to be played in a shuttle).
I would appreciate some feedback - like I said, this is my first creation, so any suggestions would be great.
Thanks!
Title: Reman Dilithium Run
Author: Stolu
Faction: Fed
Sounds interesting. What level is the mission?
Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.
Minimum level 31. It may still be republishing though...
Parallels: my second mission for Fed aligned Romulans.