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Stargate Hail Ba'al Rambling

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  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    *Time Jumper, with temporal clones of the Grand Vizier and First Prime Teal'c aboard, jumps back to ten seconds before Evil Kuntel self-terminated*

    *Grand Vizier and Teal'c beam aboard*

    *Teal'c and the Grand Vizier zat Evil Kuntel, using the charge as an EMP to blow out the brain-destroying device*

    Well...that was complicated, but fun as heck.

    Get the sarcophagus and resurrect that guy.

    Hail Ba'al!
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    rattler2 wrote: »
    *Deactivates holocloak, revealing a redheaded blue vixen in a modified Starfleet uniform with skirt*
    Our "guest" is secure?
    Commander Tala: Yes sir. Took the whole team on Max Stun to bring him down.

    *Jumps back.*

    Okay! That's new! When did that happen?

    *Looks Jade up and down with wide eyes, which now seem to turn a little yellow.*
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    *Time Jumper, with temporal clones of the Grand Vizier and First Prime Teal'c aboard, jumps back to ten seconds before Evil Kuntel self-terminated*

    *Grand Vizier and Teal'c beam aboard*

    *Teal'c and the Grand Vizier zat Evil Kuntel, using the charge as an EMP to blow out the brain-destroying device*

    Well...that was complicated, but fun as heck.

    Get the sarcophagus and resurrect that guy.

    Hail Ba'al!

    *The Clone jumps out of the sarxophagus.*

    Kuntel-clone: What!? Where am I!?
  • rattler2rattler2 Member, Star Trek Online Moderator Posts: 58,672 Community Moderator
    edited July 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    *Jumps back.*

    Okay! That's new! When did that happen?

    *Looks Jade up and down with wide eyes, which now seem to turn a little yellow.*

    What's that supposed to mean? You were there when I got back from my latest exploration mission! Shadow was there too, and both of you seemed to be a little interested in me. You even hit on me again! And I think I pegged you for having a crush on me after you changed the subject real fast.
    db80k0m-89201ed8-eadb-45d3-830f-bb2f0d4c0fe7.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2ExOGQ4ZWM2LTUyZjQtNDdiMS05YTI1LTVlYmZkYmJkOGM3N1wvZGI4MGswbS04OTIwMWVkOC1lYWRiLTQ1ZDMtODMwZi1iYjJmMGQ0YzBmZTcucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.8G-Pg35Qi8qxiKLjAofaKRH6fmNH3qAAEI628gW0eXc
    I can't take it anymore! Could everyone just chill out for two seconds before something CRAZY happens again?!
    The nut who actually ground out many packs. The resident forum voice of reason (I HAZ FORUM REP! YAY!)
    normal text = me speaking as fellow formite
    colored text = mod mode
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    rattler2 wrote: »
    What's that supposed to mean? You were there when I got back from my latest exploration mission! Shadow was there too, and both of you seemed to be a little interested in me. You even hit on me again! And I think I pegged you for having a crush on me after you changed the subject real fast.

    What!? When did I ever hit on you? And latest exploration mission? The last thing I remember you doing was helping us fight off the Terran Empire!
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    *The Clone jumps out of the sarxophagus.*

    Kuntel-clone: What!? Where am I!?

    *Sovereign Ba'al pins him to the wall with the kara'kesh and shoves him into Ba'al's extra-special gravity torture chamber*

    Ba'al: You know, I used this device to kill High General O'Neill about five hundred times in an alternate timeline. Now you get to be its guest. Now. We're going to kill you painfully, resurrect you, and repeat the process until you tell us everything you know about who took the real Darth Kuntel, what his or her plan is, and where the real Darth Kuntel is. Oh, and we removed your implant while you were dead.

    Grand Vizier: Supreme One, I shall man the controls myself. Darth Kuntel is a personal friend.

    Hail Ba'al!
  • rattler2rattler2 Member, Star Trek Online Moderator Posts: 58,672 Community Moderator
    edited July 2014
    *Facepalm*
    You hit on me after getting drunk at O'Malley's after the Replicator fiasco.
    db80k0m-89201ed8-eadb-45d3-830f-bb2f0d4c0fe7.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2ExOGQ4ZWM2LTUyZjQtNDdiMS05YTI1LTVlYmZkYmJkOGM3N1wvZGI4MGswbS04OTIwMWVkOC1lYWRiLTQ1ZDMtODMwZi1iYjJmMGQ0YzBmZTcucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.8G-Pg35Qi8qxiKLjAofaKRH6fmNH3qAAEI628gW0eXc
    I can't take it anymore! Could everyone just chill out for two seconds before something CRAZY happens again?!
    The nut who actually ground out many packs. The resident forum voice of reason (I HAZ FORUM REP! YAY!)
    normal text = me speaking as fellow formite
    colored text = mod mode
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    *Sovereign Ba'al pins him to the wall with the kara'kesh and shoves him into Ba'al's extra-special gravity torture chamber*

    Ba'al: You know, I used this device to kill High General O'Neill about five hundred times in an alternate timeline. Now you get to be its guest. Now. We're going to kill you painfully, resurrect you, and repeat the process until you tell us everything you know about who took the real Darth Kuntel, what his or her plan is, and where the real Darth Kuntel is. Oh, and we removed your implant while you were dead.

    Grand Vizier: Supreme One, I shall man the controls myself. Darth Kuntel is a personal friend.

    Hail Ba'al!

    Clone: Never!

    *Squirms and screams horrible profanity about Ba'al's and Worffan's mothers.*
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    rattler2 wrote: »
    *Facepalm*
    You hit on me after getting drunk at O'Malley's after the Replicator fiasco.

    Replicator fiasco? When did that happen?
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    *Teal'c addresses the Glorious Fleet*

    Attention all minions. Darth Kuntel has been kidnapped and replaced by an impostor. Sovereign Ba'al and Grand Vizier worffan101 are interrogating the impostor. He or she who brings Darth Kuntel, alive and unspoiled, to the Grand Vizier, myself, or the Sovereign shall be richly rewarded.

    Hail Ba'al.

    *channel closes*
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    Clone: Never!

    *Squirms and screams horrible profanity about Ba'al's and Worffan's mothers.*

    *turns gravity torture chamber up to 11*

    Ugh...that's kind of gross. Better throw him into the sarcophagus again...

    Hail Ba'al!
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    *Teal'c addresses the Glorious Fleet*

    Attention all minions. Darth Kuntel has been kidnapped and replaced by an impostor. Sovereign Ba'al and Grand Vizier worffan101 are interrogating the impostor. He or she who brings Darth Kuntel, alive and unspoiled, to the Grand Vizier, myself, or the Sovereign shall be richly rewarded.

    Hail Ba'al.

    *channel closes*

    (OOC: Unspoiled?! What does that mean?!:P)
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    (OOC: Unspoiled?! What does that mean?!:P)

    (OOC: I'd presume unharmed and generally intact, physically and psychologically. You know, standard stuff)
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    *turns gravity torture chamber up to 11*

    Ugh...that's kind of gross. Better throw him into the sarcophagus again...

    Hail Ba'al!

    *Jumps out of sarcaphagus.*

    Kuntel-clone: The Allfather shall rip out your livers and feed them to his ravens!
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    (OOC: I'd presume unharmed and generally intact, physically and psychologically. You know, standard stuff)

    (OOC: Okay... it sounded like Teal'c was talkin' 'bout somethin' else. If ya catch my drift...)
  • rattler2rattler2 Member, Star Trek Online Moderator Posts: 58,672 Community Moderator
    edited July 2014
    *Facepalm*
    Oi vey...

    I'll have someone assign you some quarters until we get back. It might be a while though because Starfleet wants us to check out a rift in Tau Dewa. Feel free to contact someone via subspace and... let me know when all this makes sense.

    *walks out. A minute later an Ensign arrives to show kuntel to the guest quarters*
    (And off for a while. Gonna hang with a RL friend.)
    db80k0m-89201ed8-eadb-45d3-830f-bb2f0d4c0fe7.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2ExOGQ4ZWM2LTUyZjQtNDdiMS05YTI1LTVlYmZkYmJkOGM3N1wvZGI4MGswbS04OTIwMWVkOC1lYWRiLTQ1ZDMtODMwZi1iYjJmMGQ0YzBmZTcucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.8G-Pg35Qi8qxiKLjAofaKRH6fmNH3qAAEI628gW0eXc
    I can't take it anymore! Could everyone just chill out for two seconds before something CRAZY happens again?!
    The nut who actually ground out many packs. The resident forum voice of reason (I HAZ FORUM REP! YAY!)
    normal text = me speaking as fellow formite
    colored text = mod mode
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    rattler2 wrote: »
    *Facepalm*
    Oi vey...

    I'll have someone assign you some quarters until we get back. It might be a while though because Starfleet wants us to check out a rift in Tau Dewa. Feel free to contact someone via subspace and... let me know when all this makes sense.

    *walks out. A minute later an Ensign arrives to show kuntel to the guest quarters*
    (And off for a while. Gonna hang with a RL friend.)

    *Follows ensign to room.*

    Uh, excuse me, can yo-

    *Ensign leaves and shuts dolr in face.*

    Rude! Okay... I have to figure out hlw to contact Worffan.

    Computer: Contacting Grand Vizier Worffan of the Grand Regime of Ba'al of the Goa'uld Empire... contacted. Proceed when ready.

    Me: Uh, okay. Worffan, you there?

    *Worffans comm buzzes.*
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    *turns gravity torture chamber up to 11*

    Ugh...that's kind of gross. Better throw him into the sarcophagus again...

    Hail Ba'al!

    *Walks in as they string him up again, motioning to the vials of acid.*

    May I? I'd really like to kill Kuntel - even if it is just his clone.

    (OOC: Anyone else get the feeling that me and Kuntel are gonna end up with a running gag about me repeatedly killing him? :P)
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    ryan218 wrote: »
    *Walks in as they string him up again, motioning to the vials of acid.*

    May I? I'd really like to kill Kuntel - even if it is just his clone.

    (OOC: Anyone else get the feeling that me and Kuntel are gonna end up with a running gag about me repeatedly killing him? :P)

    (OOC: In a reality were death is merely an inconvenience... yes... death to the infidel!*Runs off to Mecca*
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    *Jumps out of sarcaphagus.*

    Kuntel-clone: The Allfather shall rip out your livers and feed them to his ravens!
    *Ba'al hits him with the Kara'kesh and tosses him into the chamber again. Grand Vizier worffan101 turns it up to 9*

    (OOC: In retrospect, there is kind of an unfortunate implication to that. My bad.)
    kuntel wrote: »
    *Follows ensign to room.*

    Uh, excuse me, can yo-

    *Ensign leaves and shuts dolr in face.*

    Rude! Okay... I have to figure out hlw to contact Worffan.

    Computer: Contacting Grand Vizier Worffan of the Grand Regime of Ba'al of the Goa'uld Empire... contacted. Proceed when ready.

    Me: Uh, okay. Worffan, you there?

    *Worffans comm buzzes.*
    ryan218 wrote: »
    *Walks in as they string him up again, motioning to the vials of acid.*

    May I? I'd really like to kill Kuntel - even if it is just his clone.

    (OOC: Anyone else get the feeling that me and Kuntel are gonna end up with a running gag about me repeatedly killing him? :P)

    *picks up comm, Evil Kuntel's screams in the background*

    Ryan, take over the Chamber of Peril. Grand Vizier Worffan101, what do you need? Hail Ba'al!
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    ryan218 wrote: »
    *Walks in as they string him up again, motioning to the vials of acid.*

    May I? I'd really like to kill Kuntel - even if it is just his clone.

    (OOC: Anyone else get the feeling that me and Kuntel are gonna end up with a running gag about me repeatedly killing him? :P)

    Kuntel-clone: You! You the Allfather will forgive! Help me now and he will give you all of Earth, but none of the responsibility!

    *Gets thrown in chamber.*

    Kuntel-clone: OW OW OW OW OW!!!!!
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    *picks up comm, Evil Kuntel's screams in the background*

    Ryan, take over the Chamber of Peril. Grand Vizier Worffan101, what do you need? Hail Ba'al!
    Oh, hi Worffan! It's Kuntel. Who are you torturing today?
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    kuntel wrote: »
    Oh, hi Worffan! It's Kuntel. Who are you torturing today?

    Your evil clone.

    What in the name of Ba'al happened to you, and how long has this dude been imitating you?

    Hail Ba'al!
  • legendarylycan#5411 legendarylycan Member Posts: 37,284 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    (so which allfather are we talking about here?)
    Like special weapons from other Star Trek games? Wondering if they can be replicated in STO even a little bit? Check this out: https://forum.arcgames.com/startrekonline/discussion/1262277/a-mostly-comprehensive-guide-to-star-trek-videogame-special-weapons-and-their-sto-equivalents

    #LegalizeAwoo

    A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
    An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
    A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
    A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"


    "It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
    "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
    Passion and Serenity are one.
    I gain power by understanding both.
    In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
    I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
    The Force is united within me.
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    (so which allfather are we talking about here?)

    (OOC: Odin? Maybe some Skyrim character? Damned if I know, LOL)
  • legendarylycan#5411 legendarylycan Member Posts: 37,284 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    (OOC: Odin? Maybe some Skyrim character? Damned if I know, LOL)
    (not skyrim; there's no allfather there)
    Like special weapons from other Star Trek games? Wondering if they can be replicated in STO even a little bit? Check this out: https://forum.arcgames.com/startrekonline/discussion/1262277/a-mostly-comprehensive-guide-to-star-trek-videogame-special-weapons-and-their-sto-equivalents

    #LegalizeAwoo

    A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
    An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
    A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
    A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"


    "It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
    "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
    Passion and Serenity are one.
    I gain power by understanding both.
    In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
    I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
    The Force is united within me.
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    *Ba'al hits him with the Kara'kesh and tosses him into the chamber again. Grand Vizier worffan101 turns it up to 9*

    (OOC: In retrospect, there is kind of an unfortunate implication to that. My bad.)



    *picks up comm, Evil Kuntel's screams in the background*

    Ryan, take over the Chamber of Peril. Grand Vizier Worffan101, what do you need? Hail Ba'al!

    Oh, goodie!

    *He takes the acid vial, looking at Kuntel's clone.*

    So, here's how this works, tell me where the real Kuntel is...

    *He releases a small drop of acid onto the Clone as it starts tunnelling in.*

    Or I got to have my fun.

    And I do so enjoy my fun.
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Your evil clone.

    What in the name of Ba'al happened to you, and how long has this dude been imitating you?

    Hail Ba'al!

    I have an evil clone? When did that happen? And Jade told me about a replicator thingie, and me flirting with her, and did you know she's blue now?

    *Looks around.*

    Anyway, the only thing I remember is the battle against the Terran Empire, and then being on a ship... then falling, and nearly drowning... and then I woke up on Nirn.
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    ryan218 wrote: »
    Oh, goodie!

    *He takes the acid vial, looking at Kuntel's clone.*

    So, here's how this works, tell me where the real Kuntel is...

    *He releases a small drop of acid onto the Clone as it starts tunnelling in.*

    Or I got to have my fun.

    And I do so enjoy my fun.

    *Eyes widen and a slow smile spread across the clones face.*

    Clone: Oooo, you like fun? I loke fun too!

    *Starts cacckling as the acid tunnels.*

    Clone: Like ripping hearts out of crazy Brits, then hintong down their families and tearing them to pieces! Hahahahahah!
  • kuntelkuntel Member Posts: 16,484 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    (not skyrim; there's no allfather there)

    OOC: My plan js that it's some weird codename for something.
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