A fun entry indeed, pros and cons in the critique...
When writing canon characters:
Be mindful of their voices and be consistent to how they are established....
Jack and Sam did not read as Jack and Sam. The tone of your dialogue was almost close enough to sound like Jack, but it didn't quite read as Jack to me. Not enough to spoil my enjoyment of the story, but enough for it to not 'feel quite right', rather than flowing.
However...
I did enjoy it, and thought it was fun and well paced :cool:
A fun entry indeed, pros and cons in the critique...
When writing canon characters:
Be mindful of their voices and be consistent to how they are established....
Jack and Sam did not read as Jack and Sam. The tone of your dialogue was almost close enough to sound like Jack, but it didn't quite read as Jack to me. Not enough to spoil my enjoyment of the story, but enough for it to not 'feel quite right', rather than flowing.
However...
I did enjoy it, and thought it was fun and well paced :cool:
Yeah, I know about the voices. I don't like writing SG-1 fics for just that reason; I can't quite get Jack or Sam right. I'm pretty good with Teal'c, though.
I did have SO much fun writing a fic with a heavy role from Anubis once; a lot of SHLIFFG's overwhelming hamminess is actually the parts I liked best about Anubis taken up to 11.
Anyway, it was just a short, funny piece, and I'm glad that you liked it!
Yeah, I know about the voices. I don't like writing SG-1 fics for just that reason; I can't quite get Jack or Sam right. I'm pretty good with Teal'c, though.
Indeed...
And that's not meant as a real criticism, but it was something myself and others noted when you wrote Odo and it being a bit out of character to Odo, so just pointing it out so you can be aware of it, and then by being aware of it, improve, because that aside, it was a good, fun piece ^_^
I did have SO much fun writing a fic with a heavy role from Anubis once; a lot of SHLIFFG's overwhelming hamminess is actually the parts I liked best about Anubis taken up to 11.
Anyway, it was just a short, funny piece, and I'm glad that you liked it!
Yeah, was good stuff, and nothing offensive about it at all :cool:
@jonsils: great, as usual. So...is Grunt a family name? :P Liked how the trips to the multiverses seemed like "just" another annoyance to the other crew...and Grunt seemed to take it in stride too. Guess he's played the game...
@worffan101: enjoyed it! I didn't feel that Jack didn't sound too off character, but sounded a bit too harsh with Carter. Space wedgie...guess that falls next to atomic swirlie? Or Subnucleonic wet willie?
@worffan101: enjoyed it! I didn't feel that Jack didn't sound too off character, but sounded a bit too harsh with Carter. Space wedgie...guess that falls next to atomic swirlie? Or Subnucleonic wet willie?
*shrugs* I have trouble writing Jack properly. The snark's the hardest part to pin down.
Space wedgie...Yeah, you kind of got it. Basically, any random spacetime thing that causes something to happen and makes no sense at all.
I had a hard time coming up with an idea for this one, I'm not sure how I feel about it, but my time is up. Might come back here to tweak it later.
Moonshadowdark's LC idea "One Fine Vessel" inspired me to take my mains back to the ship they lost. More on that later.
Once I took my core characters off the map, I realized I didn't have many others, so I decided to create some new ones. Hence the creation of Two, T'Char and the cameo from Nurse Riles from my REDACTED LC.
They're all new characters, (even Takerra, who I've never written from her perspective before) so I'm still finding their voices.
Also, the physics might be a little wonky, my apologies.
Proteusrex: Nice entry! For a moment there I was scared that they'd crashed into the Wheel of Time and were about to be eaten by Mashadar. Shows how much Robert Jordan stuff I've been reading recently, heh.
Decent solution to the problem, and the alien environment is very cool. It makes me want to see an exploratory mission return to that dimension and explore it, which is a very good thing in this case.
One thing I will say about the one I'm working on: I'm betting when Smirk picked out prompt #1, she didn't realize that one of us has a Bajoran, Prophet-worshiping viewpoint character. It's turned out to be rather fun writing Eleya when she's pissed off at the universe.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
@proteusrex - This was really well done! I agree with Worffan101 that the solution was inventive. I liked the characters used so I'm looking forward to what you do with LC 65
One thing I will say about the one I'm working on: I'm betting when Smirk picked out prompt #1, she didn't realize that one of us has a Bajoran, Prophet-worshiping viewpoint character. It's turned out to be rather fun writing Eleya when she's pissed off at the universe.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
There was one LC that I wrote and was satisfied with when I finished the challenge. The premise simply put was a wormhole somewhere in some quatdrent (cant' remember the details) and I think it was do you go take a personal upclose look by going into it or some alternative. That was quite a lot of LC's ago. What I was happy with is that at the end of the story you never find out what was inside the wormhole or where it went to. The point of the story was the spirit of adventure not what would have been discovered.
I probably could have used that and tie it into this LC for which I've lost unfortunately inspiration to finish. I'm sure this challenge is closing this week and don't want to do some lousy rush job just to satify satisfy my ego because I beat the clock.
As noted on a previous post, the one I began for this became to large a story as I continued and then RL occurred.
My bet is Smirk is not supposed to work weekends. So maybe today we will see something, instead. :-)
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
@trojanborg - No need to rush, but you can still post an entry to this LC (or any of them) later at tyour leisure. You'll have to dig for the right LC to post and if it's 59 or older then just post in LC 60. I utterly ignore the 30-day necro posting rule only for LCs.
@trojanborg - No need to rush, but you can still post an entry to this LC (or any of them) later at tyour leisure. You'll have to dig for the right LC to post and if it's 59 or older then just post in LC 60. I utterly ignore the 30-day necro posting rule only for LCs.
Yeah, I've posted in old redux threads before, the Mods never get upset. LC threads seem to be the exception to the necro rule.
Comments
:cool:
/10chars
Do your fingers tingle when you run with scissors?
Honestly, only when the blood's cut off because I tripped while running with scissors and my fingers got jammed in to the finger-holes too tightly.
A fun entry indeed, pros and cons in the critique...
When writing canon characters:
Be mindful of their voices and be consistent to how they are established....
Jack and Sam did not read as Jack and Sam. The tone of your dialogue was almost close enough to sound like Jack, but it didn't quite read as Jack to me. Not enough to spoil my enjoyment of the story, but enough for it to not 'feel quite right', rather than flowing.
However...
I did enjoy it, and thought it was fun and well paced :cool:
Nerve compression for the win
Do your fingers tingle when you run with scissors?
Yeah, I know about the voices. I don't like writing SG-1 fics for just that reason; I can't quite get Jack or Sam right. I'm pretty good with Teal'c, though.
I did have SO much fun writing a fic with a heavy role from Anubis once; a lot of SHLIFFG's overwhelming hamminess is actually the parts I liked best about Anubis taken up to 11.
Anyway, it was just a short, funny piece, and I'm glad that you liked it!
I don't know! I never run with scissors!
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
Indeed...
And that's not meant as a real criticism, but it was something myself and others noted when you wrote Odo and it being a bit out of character to Odo, so just pointing it out so you can be aware of it, and then by being aware of it, improve, because that aside, it was a good, fun piece ^_^
Yeah, was good stuff, and nothing offensive about it at all :cool:
@worffan101: enjoyed it! I didn't feel that Jack didn't sound too off character, but sounded a bit too harsh with Carter. Space wedgie...guess that falls next to atomic swirlie? Or Subnucleonic wet willie?
*shrugs* I have trouble writing Jack properly. The snark's the hardest part to pin down.
Space wedgie...Yeah, you kind of got it. Basically, any random spacetime thing that causes something to happen and makes no sense at all.
I had a hard time coming up with an idea for this one, I'm not sure how I feel about it, but my time is up. Might come back here to tweak it later.
Moonshadowdark's LC idea "One Fine Vessel" inspired me to take my mains back to the ship they lost. More on that later.
Once I took my core characters off the map, I realized I didn't have many others, so I decided to create some new ones. Hence the creation of Two, T'Char and the cameo from Nurse Riles from my REDACTED LC.
They're all new characters, (even Takerra, who I've never written from her perspective before) so I'm still finding their voices.
Also, the physics might be a little wonky, my apologies.
Decent solution to the problem, and the alien environment is very cool. It makes me want to see an exploratory mission return to that dimension and explore it, which is a very good thing in this case.
Very nice story!
-Leonard Nimoy, RIP
Indeed we are.
I hope that Smirk chooses one of my prompts for the player-generated prompt this month...
I'd pick the Mother's Day prompt. That one was a great one.
-Leonard Nimoy, RIP
Yeah, it would be. Heh, I have stories half-written for everyone but D'trel and Omek already...
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
I'm kinda hopeful he picks mine - we'll just have to wait until tomorrow to see, though. :cool:
"Reality Is Fluid, Part I".
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
PLEASSSEE!!!
I probably could have used that and tie it into this LC for which I've lost unfortunately inspiration to finish. I'm sure this challenge is closing this week and don't want to do some lousy rush job just to satify satisfy my ego because I beat the clock.
As noted on a previous post, the one I began for this became to large a story as I continued and then RL occurred.
And I think you captured Sisko well.
Captain Smirk, please report to Ten Forward, your LC is overdue....
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
Yeah, I've posted in old redux threads before, the Mods never get upset. LC threads seem to be the exception to the necro rule.