Decided to post my entry up. Of course you can stop reading at the first major break in text, but if you continue on, I hope you won't be dissapointed. Of course if I could actually write my character's actions within the subspace pocket(?) I would make them all split up into four different Obilesk ships in the end, at least to make it cannon enough....
{Spoiler I think}
Let's just say that empty cell you come across wouldn't be so empty...and maybe that empty chair you come across...*cough*
Shorter than my usual entries, but hopefully not bad. Normally though, i do try to stay more on topic, but for the obvious reasons, Captain Donovan seems a little distracted.
I think the length was just right :cool: I really liked the introspection on Donovan's part, and his thoughts on the events :cool: I think it gave the topic the suitable level of attention, and focussed on the real story :cool:
@ironpheonix113 - I agree with marcusdkane, the conversation was excellent and the ending is an opening for more.
Thanks! I'll be able to elaborate on the ending some more once S8 comes out. I've already played through some of the new content on Tribble (and, imho, it's pretty awesome), but I'm not going to spoil anything here for you guys (yet ).
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Thanks! I'll be able to elaborate on the ending some more once S8 comes out. I've already played through some of the new content on Tribble (and, imho, it's pretty awesome), but I'm not going to spoil anything here for you guys (yet ).
If anyone doesn't think its not cool! Its a shame they let personal feelings interfere with fun. Plus i just love it!
I tried to give the LC a bit of outside the box thinking by adding action into it, although I think it got a little out of hand. There is much to do outside of STO before I can review anything.
I tried to give the LC a bit of outside the box thinking by adding action into it, although I think it got a little out of hand. There is much to do outside of STO before I can review anything.
Out of hand? Not at all, that was an excellent entry :cool: I felt rather sorry for Warrigul at the end, but what an ending :cool:
I am glad to see such interest in this LC entry. ^_^ So far it's been fun to see and be a part of.
On that note, some of you might not be familiar with Colonel Commandant Hayate Yagami so there she is. ^_^ Not bad for 20/21 huh?
(The white-haired girl is actually Hayate's Unison Device; a form of Magical Device with Sentience designed to Unison with a Master and provide a power boost/control. Reinforce II, also known as Master Sergeant Rein is her designation/name and she allows Hayate to aim her power around...seeing as she rates as a Tactical Nuclear Device in sheer raw power but has bad aim.)
Interesting entry! Although, the Admiral forgot to tell Captain Palmer that the Athena was going to be in the area as well. On a semi-unrelated note, you said that you can't get in game due to computer problems? Do you have any specific idea what's going on?
At any rate, I'll read a few more and post reviews when I can.
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Interesting entry! Although, the Admiral forgot to tell Captain Palmer that the Athena was going to be in the area as well. :-D On a semi-unrelated note, you said that you can't get in game due to computer problems? Do you have any specific idea what's going on?
Edited to include the Athena in the briefing :cool: Glad you enjoyed it, it was originally only the promotion/briefing scene, but after making comments about how Amanda would deal with it hitting the fan, I decided to show a bit of that preparation as well :cool: Might even have her do more driving in another entry
As for the computer... The tower powers up 'apparently' as per normal, but the monitor remains in standby... Probably nothing major, but just more than I can be bothered to get fixed, as my iPad gives me enough net access for my day to day shenanigans (although I would love to be able to actually play the game, not just participate in the LCs )
Edited to include the Athena in the briefing :cool: Glad you enjoyed it, it was originally only the promotion/briefing scene, but after making comments about how Amanda would deal with it hitting the fan, I decided to show a bit of that preparation as well :cool: Might even have her do more driving in another entry
As for the computer... The tower powers up 'apparently' as per normal, but the monitor remains in standby... Probably nothing major, but just more than I can be bothered to get fixed, as my iPad gives me enough net access for my day to day shenanigans (although I would love to be able to actually play the game, not just participate in the LCs )
Hmm...So that narrows down considerably. At this point, I'd say it's either a problem with your graphics card (which seems more likely (to me), as graphics cards are often one of the first parts to fail in a computer), or a problem with the monitor (in this case, it would either be damage to plug for the graphics card, or (more likely) the cable connecting your monitor to the graphics card is broken (which is also highly likely). If you have another graphics card or monitor (or at least its cables) lying around, try swapping each of the items I suggested out. Otherwise, you'll probably just have to purchase a new part.
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Hmm...So that narrows down considerably. At this point, I'd say it's either a problem with your graphics card (which seems more likely (to me), as graphics cards are often one of the first parts to fail in a computer), or a problem with the monitor (in this case, it would either be damage to plug for the graphics card, or (more likely) the cable connecting your monitor to the graphics card is broken (which is also highly likely). If you have another graphics card or monitor (or at least its cables) lying around, try swapping each of the items I suggested out. Otherwise, you'll probably just have to purchase a new part.
Yeah, I figured it's something to do with the graphics card, the fans were starting to make some awful noises... Oh well, it's been out of commission for a couple of years now, I'll get round to fixing it eventually
Gotta keep this short, so no "red pen reviews" this time. (I did a bunch of them for the ones in the previous LC, but my 1st gen iPad crashed screens when I was verifying a detail on the last entry.)
The Bonaventure's misfits will have to take a break...the nurse who put in the IV placed it so if I bend my arm, it cuts off the juice...so no prolonged typing w/o agony. That, plus one of the things they pump in to stop nausea blurs my vision.
But getting lots of humourous anecdotes for Doc Irve's future contributions to LC's.
Now...will some of you real-life science types hurry up and invent real Treknology that will end this medieval butchery that involves caustic chemicals and pointy needles?
Gotta keep this short, so no "red pen reviews" this time. (I did a bunch of them for the ones in the previous LC, but my 1st gen iPad crashed screens when I was verifying a detail on the last entry.)
The Bonaventure's misfits will have to take a break...the nurse who put in the IV placed it so if I bend my arm, it cuts off the juice...so no prolonged typing w/o agony. That, plus one of the things they pump in to stop nausea blurs my vision.
But getting lots of humourous anecdotes for Doc Irve's future contributions to LC's.
Now...will some of you real-life science types hurry up and invent real Treknology that will end this medieval butchery that involves caustic chemicals and pointy needles?
Please?
Sorry to hear you are spending time investigating why McCoy dreaded time travel . Hope you're back on your feet and wielding the Pen of Semi-Cosmic Might soon!
Thanks, Octavia has featured in a previous challenge. I'm hoping to respond to more of these but not all really lend themselves to the players.
J.
I usually find a way to write something on theme, but I have to admit, sometimes when I see the brief posted, my first thought is often 'No...' until an idea percolates
@wraithshadow13 - Good questions concerning Wraith's possible future. Maybe the next LC will determine his choice?
@zidantribal - Man, the intro to Warrigul really confused me. I pressed on and "got it". I think it came from the interchange of pronouns "him" and "it" within the same paragraph. I mean, "it" was "him" :P
@cmdrscarlet: Man, I thought I caught all the 'he's and 'him's when I proofread it. Goes to show that another pair of eyes is more useful, eh?
Here be actual reviews!
@marcusdkane: Haunted by prior encounters with Iconian gateway mishaps, Captain Palmer prepares for the worst in snazzy fashion.
It's quite ingenious to use a Tumbler as an ATV as opposed to Picard's Argo. Wish I thought of that.
@knightraider6: Captain Schrodinger gets an unwelcome e-mail.
An example of a skilled going outside the prompt story, tackling the story by not actually going to New Romulus.
@jaelk - Whoa. There is a lot going here. The Log talk plus internal conversation, coupled with the relationship between characters and explanation text made for very "busy" reading. I hate to say it, but all that forced me to reread several paragraphs often to "get it" which was distracting ... for me. BUT, if I understand it all, then that was a very interesting way to incorporate the topic while showing off the Captain's more intimate side.
@marcusdkane (version2) - The update was good but I'm not sure if it was needed. Not that it took away from the original ... it didn't at all. If anything, TRIBBLE yes for using the Tumbler :cool: That's way cooler than the Argo, so I agree with zidantribal there. Actually, there is a post or two around the forums where people are asking for ground vehicles. I'm not on that fence at all, but if it was anything close to Auto Assault ... then ... meh.
The update was good but I'm not sure if it was needed. Not that it took away from the original ... it didn't at all. If anything, TRIBBLE yes for using the Tumbler :cool: That's way cooler than the Argo, so I agree with zidantribal there. Actually, there is a post or two around the forums where people are asking for ground vehicles. I'm not on that fence at all, but if it was anything close to Auto Assault ... then ... meh.
I know what you mean about it not really being needed, but having made comments about how Amanda would deal with the situation if things go wrong, I figured I might as well write it in Glad you enjoyed the inclusion of the Tumbler though, as I wasn't sure how well that would gel for a reader :cool:
@drajora: Captain Selene Persico does her damnedest to prevent a catastrophe from happening.
This story was well written, with many twists and turns that will keep you guessing until the end.
@cmdrscarlet: Captain Beringer reacts to the news of the gateway reopening in a professional manner.
It's very nice to see the inner thoughts of a captain sometimes, especially in the face of a momentous occasion such as the gateway opening. Beringer's thoughts are quite well-thought out.
@raventomoe: Star Trek and Lyrical Nanoha come together as Captain Robin Harlen gets news and orders concerning the Iconian gateway.
Research must be made into the Lyrical Nanoha universe, but after that, the two do sync up rather nicely. Let us as a community expect more out of this pairing with the aim of finding more anime reference in other stories.
@keepcalm: A calm day on the Calypso as captain Daring gets ready to go to New Romulus. A nice slice of life entry, with potential to be developed into a larger narrative.
@grylak: Federation interests are at risk as Admiral Rykon and Captain Grylak debate sovereignty versus safety. A thriller of a political nature, where idealism and pragmatism clashes in a relatable way.
@raventomoe: Star Trek and Lyrical Nanoha come together as Captain Robin Harlen gets news and orders concerning the Iconian gateway.
Research must be made into the Lyrical Nanoha universe, but after that, the two do sync up rather nicely. Let us as a community expect more out of this pairing with the aim of finding more anime reference in other stories.
Oh I have plans to do referencing and shout outs to anime and manga throughout the story. I'm almost done with the second chapter of the first installment. From there it should easier as I can re-watch the portions of the series up too where I want to be before I post to FF.net for reading. I might put the drafts here and use you guys as Proof and Beta-Readers and I am working on translating J-Pop lyrics into Romulan for the rest of the story installments once we get back to this universe. (So let me know. I would love to be able to improve on it if you; the Community here at STO Forums; are wiling to let me run a proofing/beta-read thread AND a discussion thread to discuss and ask questions of me.)
I was inspired actually to call the fifth installment Frontier after watching Macross Frontier and realizing how much certain parts of Season 8 synced up with it's themes in some regards.
I am also STILL in need of someone to do the Cover Art for the installments. Most notably drawing on the "Secret Ambition" opening for Lyrical Trek: StrikerS as I wanted "Massive Wonders" opening for Lyrical Trek: Revolution. Both are openings for the same season of the anime BUT the second fits better for Revolution was to become Riot Force 6's first step into the Alpha and Beta Quadrants as well as the T.S.A.B. declaring open war on the Tal Shiar.
By the way, if ANYONE can find an actual scientific reason to explain how and why Midchilda is habitable with two moons so close to it that does not rely on just Magic...PM me here please! X_X That Astrophysics and Orbital Mechanics problem has been driving me nuts.
EDIT: I am surprised that by now no one has even mentioned the Vice-Admiral. There aren't too many people in Starfleet that gets to have a say in who would get to sit in the Captain's chair of the second ship to bear the name Voyager.
EDIT2: Also, Branflakes and all you wonderful guys and gals at Cryptic Studios, don't be afraid to chime in either if I get a story point wrong or say what you think of the ideas I am working with. I might actually from time to time ask you guys questions to help keep canon consistency.
@wraithshadow13 - Good questions concerning Wraith's possible future. Maybe the next LC will determine his choice?.
It is definitely not something i'd considered much much myself since he's my actual in game main, but at the same time, it does seem to raise a lot of very interesting possibilities.
I'm not sure it would be resolved in the next challenge, but somewhere down the line, this would make for an interesting episode.
@raventomoe: Between you and me, I (try to) amalgamate traits from several anime characters to funnel into my characters. If you want to see what you can recognize, I have a link to other LC's in my signature.
Reviews!
@takeshi6: When Commander Tekor learns of the gateway opening, she becomes torn between her loyalties to the Republic and the great danger of Iconian gateways.
A cliffhanger ends this entry, leaving the reader wanting more, which, of course, is the author's intent, and does not draw away from the emotional impact of the entry.
@mjarbar: Admiral MJarbar takes no chances when he prepares his crew for the opening of the Iconian gateway. An excellent first entry, full of character and well thought out.
@johngazman: Captain Sarah Walker and her Romulan Republic counterpart enter into a conspiracy.
This is the kind of spy thriller that makes Star Trek VI interesting to watch; you would have to see what Captain Walker would do next concerning the gateway.
@danqueller: Subcommander Rycho's mission to save the universe takes an unexpected turn, and a familiar face returns.
This entry draws you in like a pair of two strong arms pulling you into another dimension and not letting go until the very end.
I kept this was one short. It centers on a character named Lewis McLain, who I created for patrickngo to write into "The Chase." He's also made a cameo appearance in "Visiting with the Dead" in which B.C. Hawkes featured as a semi-major character.
I took this LC as an opportunity to show off aspects of McLain that hadn't really been touched on yet, like his genuine fascination with Iconian technology.
EDIT: I've been reading everyone else's entries and seen some great stuff - I hope to get some free time to post reviews this weekend!
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Comments
Short and sweet, a fine entry :cool:
I think the length was just right :cool: I really liked the introspection on Donovan's part, and his thoughts on the events :cool: I think it gave the topic the suitable level of attention, and focussed on the real story :cool:
@jonsills - Promoting the awesomeness of Grunt
@kawke89305092 - Welcome to the LCs! This was great characterization and introduction I'm a fan of Jalik already ... or am I just a fan of Vulcans ...
Thanks! I'll be able to elaborate on the ending some more once S8 comes out. I've already played through some of the new content on Tribble (and, imho, it's pretty awesome), but I'm not going to spoil anything here for you guys (yet
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
If anyone doesn't think its not cool! Its a shame they let personal feelings interfere with fun. Plus i just love it!
I tried to give the LC a bit of outside the box thinking by adding action into it, although I think it got a little out of hand. There is much to do outside of STO before I can review anything.
Literary Challenges Entries- Star Trek Online: Lord English
Dramatis Personae of Star Trek Online: Lord English
Out of hand? Not at all, that was an excellent entry :cool: I felt rather sorry for Warrigul at the end, but what an ending :cool:
On that note, some of you might not be familiar with Colonel Commandant Hayate Yagami so there she is. ^_^ Not bad for 20/21 huh?
(The white-haired girl is actually Hayate's Unison Device; a form of Magical Device with Sentience designed to Unison with a Master and provide a power boost/control. Reinforce II, also known as Master Sergeant Rein is her designation/name and she allows Hayate to aim her power around...seeing as she rates as a Tactical Nuclear Device in sheer raw power but has bad aim.)
@weiir1:
Very interesting perspective on the Iconian Empire in the Andromeda galaxy! I'm really looking forward to reading more from you!
@sharpie65:
Short, sweet, and to the point. All in all, a very good entry.
@icegavel:
Very interesting entry with lots of very good dialog. I can't help but shake the feeling that I've heard the name Kopaka somewhere else though...
@buck311:
Very interesting to read something from the perspective of someone who is more curious of the Iconians rather that simply fearful or nervous.
@marcusdkane:
Interesting entry! Although, the Admiral forgot to tell Captain Palmer that the Athena was going to be in the area as well.
At any rate, I'll read a few more and post reviews when I can.
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
As for the computer... The tower powers up 'apparently' as per normal, but the monitor remains in standby... Probably nothing major, but just more than I can be bothered to get fixed, as my iPad gives me enough net access for my day to day shenanigans (although I would love to be able to actually play the game, not just participate in the LCs
Hmm...So that narrows down considerably. At this point, I'd say it's either a problem with your graphics card (which seems more likely (to me), as graphics cards are often one of the first parts to fail in a computer), or a problem with the monitor (in this case, it would either be damage to plug for the graphics card, or (more likely) the cable connecting your monitor to the graphics card is broken (which is also highly likely). If you have another graphics card or monitor (or at least its cables) lying around, try swapping each of the items I suggested out. Otherwise, you'll probably just have to purchase a new part.
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Yeah, I figured it's something to do with the graphics card, the fans were starting to make some awful noises... Oh well, it's been out of commission for a couple of years now, I'll get round to fixing it eventually
I'm actually going to release the second part to the story very soon, outlining what the crew of Fairchild is doing to help the Romulans.
Gotta keep this short, so no "red pen reviews" this time. (I did a bunch of them for the ones in the previous LC, but my 1st gen iPad crashed screens when I was verifying a detail on the last entry.)
The Bonaventure's misfits will have to take a break...the nurse who put in the IV placed it so if I bend my arm, it cuts off the juice...so no prolonged typing w/o agony. That, plus one of the things they pump in to stop nausea blurs my vision.
But getting lots of humourous anecdotes for Doc Irve's future contributions to LC's.
Now...will some of you real-life science types hurry up and invent real Treknology that will end this medieval butchery that involves caustic chemicals and pointy needles?
Please?
Sorry to hear you are spending time investigating why McCoy dreaded time travel
Thanks, Octavia has featured in a previous challenge. I'm hoping to respond to more of these but not all really lend themselves to the players.
J.
I usually find a way to write something on theme, but I have to admit, sometimes when I see the brief posted, my first thought is often 'No...' until an idea percolates
@aten66 - Short and sweet.
@wraithshadow13 - Good questions concerning Wraith's possible future. Maybe the next LC will determine his choice?
@zidantribal - Man, the intro to Warrigul really confused me. I pressed on and "got it". I think it came from the interchange of pronouns "him" and "it" within the same paragraph. I mean, "it" was "him" :P
@marcus - I gotta print out the updated version.
I hope you'll consider it a worthy continuation :cool:
Here be actual reviews!
@marcusdkane: Haunted by prior encounters with Iconian gateway mishaps, Captain Palmer prepares for the worst in snazzy fashion.
It's quite ingenious to use a Tumbler as an ATV as opposed to Picard's Argo. Wish I thought of that.
@knightraider6: Captain Schrodinger gets an unwelcome e-mail.
An example of a skilled going outside the prompt story, tackling the story by not actually going to New Romulus.
Literary Challenges Entries- Star Trek Online: Lord English
Dramatis Personae of Star Trek Online: Lord English
@marcusdkane (version2) - The update was good but I'm not sure if it was needed. Not that it took away from the original ... it didn't at all. If anything, TRIBBLE yes for using the Tumbler :cool: That's way cooler than the Argo, so I agree with zidantribal there. Actually, there is a post or two around the forums where people are asking for ground vehicles. I'm not on that fence at all, but if it was anything close to Auto Assault ... then ... meh.
The idea came to me a few months ago, and I was just waiting for the right LC for it to be used :cool: I'm sure Admiral Lee could requisition one
I know what you mean about it not really being needed, but having made comments about how Amanda would deal with the situation if things go wrong, I figured I might as well write it in
This story was well written, with many twists and turns that will keep you guessing until the end.
@cmdrscarlet: Captain Beringer reacts to the news of the gateway reopening in a professional manner.
It's very nice to see the inner thoughts of a captain sometimes, especially in the face of a momentous occasion such as the gateway opening. Beringer's thoughts are quite well-thought out.
@raventomoe: Star Trek and Lyrical Nanoha come together as Captain Robin Harlen gets news and orders concerning the Iconian gateway.
Research must be made into the Lyrical Nanoha universe, but after that, the two do sync up rather nicely. Let us as a community expect more out of this pairing with the aim of finding more anime reference in other stories.
@keepcalm: A calm day on the Calypso as captain Daring gets ready to go to New Romulus. A nice slice of life entry, with potential to be developed into a larger narrative.
@grylak: Federation interests are at risk as Admiral Rykon and Captain Grylak debate sovereignty versus safety. A thriller of a political nature, where idealism and pragmatism clashes in a relatable way.
Literary Challenges Entries- Star Trek Online: Lord English
Dramatis Personae of Star Trek Online: Lord English
Oh I have plans to do referencing and shout outs to anime and manga throughout the story. I'm almost done with the second chapter of the first installment. From there it should easier as I can re-watch the portions of the series up too where I want to be before I post to FF.net for reading. I might put the drafts here and use you guys as Proof and Beta-Readers and I am working on translating J-Pop lyrics into Romulan for the rest of the story installments once we get back to this universe. (So let me know. I would love to be able to improve on it if you; the Community here at STO Forums; are wiling to let me run a proofing/beta-read thread AND a discussion thread to discuss and ask questions of me.)
I was inspired actually to call the fifth installment Frontier after watching Macross Frontier and realizing how much certain parts of Season 8 synced up with it's themes in some regards.
I am also STILL in need of someone to do the Cover Art for the installments. Most notably drawing on the "Secret Ambition" opening for Lyrical Trek: StrikerS as I wanted "Massive Wonders" opening for Lyrical Trek: Revolution. Both are openings for the same season of the anime BUT the second fits better for Revolution was to become Riot Force 6's first step into the Alpha and Beta Quadrants as well as the T.S.A.B. declaring open war on the Tal Shiar.
By the way, if ANYONE can find an actual scientific reason to explain how and why Midchilda is habitable with two moons so close to it that does not rely on just Magic...PM me here please! X_X That Astrophysics and Orbital Mechanics problem has been driving me nuts.
EDIT: I am surprised that by now no one has even mentioned the Vice-Admiral. There aren't too many people in Starfleet that gets to have a say in who would get to sit in the Captain's chair of the second ship to bear the name Voyager.
EDIT2: Also, Branflakes and all you wonderful guys and gals at Cryptic Studios, don't be afraid to chime in either if I get a story point wrong or say what you think of the ideas I am working with. I might actually from time to time ask you guys questions to help keep canon consistency.
It is definitely not something i'd considered much much myself since he's my actual in game main, but at the same time, it does seem to raise a lot of very interesting possibilities.
I'm not sure it would be resolved in the next challenge, but somewhere down the line, this would make for an interesting episode.
Reviews!
@takeshi6: When Commander Tekor learns of the gateway opening, she becomes torn between her loyalties to the Republic and the great danger of Iconian gateways.
A cliffhanger ends this entry, leaving the reader wanting more, which, of course, is the author's intent, and does not draw away from the emotional impact of the entry.
@mjarbar: Admiral MJarbar takes no chances when he prepares his crew for the opening of the Iconian gateway. An excellent first entry, full of character and well thought out.
@johngazman: Captain Sarah Walker and her Romulan Republic counterpart enter into a conspiracy.
This is the kind of spy thriller that makes Star Trek VI interesting to watch; you would have to see what Captain Walker would do next concerning the gateway.
@danqueller: Subcommander Rycho's mission to save the universe takes an unexpected turn, and a familiar face returns.
This entry draws you in like a pair of two strong arms pulling you into another dimension and not letting go until the very end.
Literary Challenges Entries- Star Trek Online: Lord English
Dramatis Personae of Star Trek Online: Lord English
I took this LC as an opportunity to show off aspects of McLain that hadn't really been touched on yet, like his genuine fascination with Iconian technology.
Please enjoy "Straight and Wide"
Starring:
John Rhys-Davies as Capt. Lewis McLain
Carrie Fisher as Cmdr. Nanz Downig
Jim Caviezel as LCdr. Bryan Cecil "B.C." Hawkes
EDIT: I've been reading everyone else's entries and seen some great stuff - I hope to get some free time to post reviews this weekend!
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon