Hey all I am back with part four of my The unexpected return to end this series, im looking for one of your reports reviews on part 4.
Thank you for taking your time and effort to play part 4 .
Thank you.
Logitech007
Name: The Unexpected Return Part Four ID: ST-HJLZCA4DX Author: Logitech007 Language: English Allegiance: Starfleet-Federation Level: 50 Version:V1.1: Story: You and your team have made it back to Deep space nine from the Tzenkethi homeworld with some disturbing evidence of their super weapon capable of destroying entire planets. The Tzenkethi forces have set their eyes on destroying the Federation and the Klingon Empire with this weapon. Will the Tzenkethi forces succeed on destroying the Federation and the Klingon Empire or will you be able to destroy the Tzenkethi forces and their weapons before its too late? Where to start:Wall console just outside of the Transporter room on Earth space dock.
The third part of the Uprising series is finally online!
Uprising: Act III - Epsilon
ID: ST-HLZHDY566
Allegiance: Federation*
Level: All Levels
Language: English
Single player. Adding teammates may cause unexpected difficulties.
Estimated play time 60-90 minutes.
This mission is story-based and therefore contains heavy dialogue. However, it also contains both space and ground combat.*
This mission begins at the console outside of the transporter room on Earth Spacedock.
Summary:
Having been pushed to your breaking point by the Phoenix Dawn, you must find a way to get back into the fight. While you and your crew struggle to survive, Jok'lava continues his reign of terror on the Federation. You may be the last hope that Earth has left.
Starfleet is in its darkest hour. Do you have what it takes to figure out how to prevent total annihilation?
I just wanted to let you know because you thoroughly reviewed the first two parts. If you could review this one too, it'd be greatly appreciated. Thank you for all you do.
Hi maninblack,
Welcome back to the queue. Your mission is 11th in the queue behind Logitech007. I am making progress on the queue as fast as I can when real life allows.
Hey all I am back with part four of my The unexpected return to end this series, im looking for one of your reports reviews on part 4.
Thank you for taking your time and effort to play part 4 .
Thank you.
Logitech007
Name: The Unexpected Return Part Four ID: ST-HJLZCA4DX Author: Logitech007 Language: English Allegiance: Starfleet-Federation Level: 50 Version:V1.1: Story: You and your team have made it back to Deep space nine from the Tzenkethi homeworld with some disturbing evidence of their super weapon capable of destroying entire planets. The Tzenkethi forces have set their eyes on destroying the Federation and the Klingon Empire with this weapon. Will the Tzenkethi forces succeed on destroying the Federation and the Klingon Empire or will you be able to destroy the Tzenkethi forces and their weapons before its too late? Where to start:Wall console just outside of the Transporter room on Earth space dock.
Thanks again Logitech007
Hi Logitech,
Your newest installment is currently 12th in the queue behind maninblack. I will get to this mission as soon as I can.
I'd like to submit the final part in my series: No Prize for Second Contact
No Prize for Second Contact IV
ID: ST-HPH7UDHU7
Allegiance: Federation
Level: Level 16+
Language: English
Play Time: 1 hour - 1 1/2 hours
Thank you, Evil!
Hi councilspectre,
Welcome back to the queue. Your final installment in the series is currently 13th in the queue behind Logitech. I will get to your mission just as soon as I can.
"[Rom] Valley of the Shadow II" (aka "The Shadow of Death")
Mission ID: ST-HLAM39YR6
Author: @NCC-89471
Faction: Federation-allied Romulan
Level restriction: 31+
Duration: 60 minutes (estimated minimum)
Combat: Ground and Space
Summary: Having found evidence of a devastating new Tal Shiar terror weapon, can you uncover the truth behind it before entire worlds - and even New Romulus itself - fall into its shadow?
Where to post review: In this thread, and this one.
Mission notes:
This series is a prequel to my Fed series Ghosts of War. (It is not necessary to play that series first, but Part II's plot does foreshadow it in certain places.)
This series takes place between Cryptic series "Vengeance" and "Freedom" in the Romulan Republic story arc.
Story-driven with heavy dialogue.
Designed to be played using a ship with a cloaking device. (Note: Player ship will sometimes decloak on dialogs and certain objectives, but not close enough for enemies to notice.)
Maps 6-8 made with substitute maps; will be rebuilt once their intended locales (New Romulus space and Command Center) become available to Foundry authors.
Federation Mission - "[Rom] Valley of the Shadow II" (aka "The Shadow of Death")
Author: NCC-89471
Allegiance: Federation-allied Romulan
Project ID: ST-HLAM39YR6
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission with good map designs, fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I enjoyed the mission from start to finish and would definitely recommend this mission to other players. It was a good installment in the series.
I did mention your excessive use of the response button "Continue". I have covered that as an issue in multiple reviews so I will not spend any more time on this issue. Suffice to say it needs to be addressed.
In your description you mention the issue with BOFFs sometimes not appearing as intended in your story. I have never actually seen this issue in any of my missions. I also only noted this issue in your dialogue on the first couple of maps. If you used the multiple BOFF or NPC in dialogue chains on other maps then is seems unlikely to be an actual issue with the Foundry. The issue could be related to your labeling the BOFFs in the dialogue string. This could be interpreted as an issue with the BOFF labeling. If this is what is being referred to in your description because folks are complaining that you had a tactical officer labeled as an engineer then it is most likely an issue with labeling. Remember that some players do not split up their away team assignments with at least one Tactical, Science, and Engineer which can also cause issues. You can leave the Name of the BOFF blank and avoid the potential for mislabeling one of the players. A final possibility to consider is when you first generate dialogue it asks you to select the default BOFF for that string of dialogue. You must select that particular BOFF in order to continue the creation of that dialogue string. In that dialogue string you can select a different BOFF or other NPC for any other portion of the same dialogue string. If you are not careful in that selection you can select the wrong one or it may revert to the default BOFF or NPC you selected at the start of the chain. I would suggest a careful review of each chain of dialogue if you have multiple BOFFs or NPCs selected in that chain. I have found that if the BOFFs do not show up as I intended it typically is because I selected the wrong one in a string with multiple BOFFs.
One last thing, I mentioned your use of "RECENT CHANGES" and "AUTHOR'S NOTES" in the description. The [MissionInfo] writing is the majority of your description. You need to use the description to highlight the best aspects of your mission and tell the potential player why they should spend time playing your mission instead of someone else's. It is the initial look at your mission and a chance to draw us in to your mission. There is nothing wrong with "RECENT CHANGES" and "AUTHOR'S NOTES" but, in my opinion, they should not be the bulk of your description.
Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: The description of the story is overwhelmed by your "RECENT CHANGES" and "AUTHOR'S NOTES" dialogue. Consider providing more of the story in the description to draw the players in and make them want to click the 'Hail' button. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the use of the response button "Continue" in the follow on dialogue to "..." or something along those lines.
Mission Task: This is a good mission task with a clear location for the start of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
MAPS: 1: Drozana VII space: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-The issue you mention in your description regarding the BOFFs displaying incorrectly. I will discuss this in my summary above.
2: Nimbus III surface: This is a good map with simple, optional combat and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
3: Bironex Prime space: This is a good map design with good optional combat and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
4: Bironex Prime surface: This is a good map design with good optional combat and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
5: Bironex V space: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
6: Mol'Rihan space: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider moving the spawn point closer to the Federation and Klingon ships. There seems to be no point to having the player fly half way across the map just to beam to the other ship.
7: U.S.S. Pax Federatica bridge: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
8: Mol'Rihan space: This is a good map design with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-The pseudo puzzle for the player to figure out what order to process the data seemed unnecessary to the story.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job creating this mission in the series. I look forward to reviewing/playing more of your work in the future.
Brian
I think you might have misunderstood my note about the BOff problem. It's not a Foundry issue, or a problem with my dialog titles; it is a known and documented game-wide bug, whereby dialogue intended for the Engineering BOff is delivered by the Science BOff instead.
As for the "Continue" button text, that is a stylistic decision on my part. For button text, as a general rule, I put dialogue in "quotes", stage directions in [square parentheses], and leave navigation directions like Continue and Back without any indicating marks.
I think you might have misunderstood my note about the BOff problem. It's not a Foundry issue, or a problem with my dialog titles; it is a known and documented game-wide bug, whereby dialogue intended for the Engineering BOff is delivered by the Science BOff instead.
As for the "Continue" button text, that is a stylistic decision on my part. For button text, as a general rule, I put dialogue in "quotes", stage directions in [square parentheses], and leave navigation directions like Continue and Back without any indicating marks.
You are correct that I did not understand the original statement in your description. With that said, the general recommendations made in the review are highly recommended to check the dialogue. I have seen a variation as described based on the dialogue entries I have made. From a programming trouble shooting perspective it does not seem like a consistent problem. I imagine it will be a while before they can fix it. However the recommendations still stand regarding the description and notes pertaining to the issue.
The recommendation regarding the use of "Continue" is also a style issue for me and that is why I point it out in my reviews.
As with all my reviews, the contents are strictly my recommendations and you are free to take them or not. I really enjoyed the mission. Keep up the good work.
Mission - Honor of Ferasa
Author: sirboulevard
Allegiance: klingon
Level: 35+
Language: English
Project ID: ST-HRTWMNNYU
Estimated Mission Length: 45 Minutes to 1 Hour
Looking forward to your review! This mission is a piercing look into Ferasan Culture as well as some humorous enemies and interesting developments. This is a mission that doesn't take itself too seriously while getting across a look at a more enigmatic member of the Klingon Empire.
Summary: This is a great mission with glorious battles and excellent story dialogue. The map designs are really well done. The building design on the Ferasa map overlooking the cityscape was the best I have seen in a long time. I would highly recommend this mission for all players who like a good story with glorious battles and excellent map designs.
I do not think you can correct any of the issues I mention below because of the status as a spotlight mission. If you can fix issues the NPC Nausicaan that shows up on the Ferasa - Mesinai Forest, and Hidden Ferasan Research Lab maps is not part of my crew feels odd. Also the map transfer dialogue and button to go to the Cryptic map should be fixed if possible.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good detailed description. I like the "Side Effects" listing. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is good dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Normally I would recommend adding the start location to the initial task but since this is a featured mission changes are beyond your control. However for future reference you should have the initial location of the first custom map in the initial mission task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Ferasan System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Ferasa: This is an outstanding map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Ferasa - Mesinai Forest: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing if possible:
-The NPC Nausicaan on the map transfer dialogue is not on my away team nor is it any of my BOFFs. It seems odd.
Hidden Ferasan Research Lab: This is a good map design with glorious battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing if possible:
-The NPC Nausicaan reporting to the player regarding the lab and on the map transfer dialogue is not on my away team nor is it any of my BOFFs.
Ferasa - Mesinai Forest Camp: This is a good map with glorious battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
The Battle of Ferasa: This is a good map design with glorious battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Starbase 29: This is a good map design with glorious battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing if possible:
-The map transfer dialogue and button both say "Go to Next Map".
Qo'noS (Cryptic Map): This is a good use of the Cryptic map to bring the mission to a close. The limitation in the Foundry for using Cryptic maps is a little annoying but you used it well. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing if possible:
-Consider changing the Worf interact button to "Report to Worf" or something along those lines. The current "Talk to Worf" is the same as the default map button for Worf.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job authoring this mission. It is truly worthy of being a spotlighted mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
The quest start pointer. Yeah, I knew about it. Actually had fixed it the night before and then woke up to Branflakes' mail of "You got spotlighted" before I could publish the correction.
The random NPC thing isn't anything I can control. Its supposed to pull from your Boffs.
As far as the transfer dialogue to Qo'noS: Cryptic does not give authors the ability to alter those prompts. Same with Worf on Qo'noS. It's all locked down. Hence why I didn't do it for the sequels.
That said, thank you for your review, and I actually finished up my final touches on the rest of the series and would like to add them to the list.
Honor of Orions
(KDF) Lv 35+
ST-HPVCAMDGH
Three weeks after the Shiassi incident on Ferasa, you are called back to Qo'nos at the request of Ambassador S'taass. Has the smoke cleared from that dark hour? Or has the darkness just started to move in?
Honor of the Empire
(KDF) Lv 50+
ST-HAMH4P3R5
Following the incident with the
in the
, the Klingon High Council convenes to discuss the ongoing threat, only to find it knocking on their door. Win or lose, the Empire will be changed forever...
If you would be willing to take a look at my creation i would appreciate it.
Mission Name: Shadows Rising
Author: Sithscourge
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HJ2DB2VGA
Estimated Mission Length: 20-40 min
The quest start pointer. Yeah, I knew about it. Actually had fixed it the night before and then woke up to Branflakes' mail of "You got spotlighted" before I could publish the correction.
The random NPC thing isn't anything I can control. Its supposed to pull from your Boffs.
As far as the transfer dialogue to Qo'noS: Cryptic does not give authors the ability to alter those prompts. Same with Worf on Qo'noS. It's all locked down. Hence why I didn't do it for the sequels.
That said, thank you for your review, and I actually finished up my final touches on the rest of the series and would like to add them to the list.
Honor of Orions
(KDF) Lv 35+
ST-HPVCAMDGH
Three weeks after the Shiassi incident on Ferasa, you are called back to Qo'nos at the request of Ambassador S'taass. Has the smoke cleared from that dark hour? Or has the darkness just started to move in?
Honor of the Empire
(KDF) Lv 50+
ST-HAMH4P3R5
Following the incident with the
in the
, the Klingon High Council convenes to discuss the ongoing threat, only to find it knocking on their door. Win or lose, the Empire will be changed forever...
Hi sirboulevard
As always I am glad I could help. The limitation in the Foundry for editing dialogue buttons and map transfers is annoying. The other problem with using map transfers to Cryptic maps is the button is still active to take you right back into the custom maps you just came out of. Perhaps these issues will be addressed eventually. In the meantime I would limit the number of times you use those transfers to Cryptic maps if possible. It is too bad that you cannot update the mission once it enters the spotlight status, although I understand why they lock it down.
Both of the new missions have been added to my queue and are 13th and 14th behind councilspectres mission. I will get to it and all the other missions in my queue as soon as I can.
If you would be willing to take a look at my creation i would appreciate it.
Mission Name: Shadows Rising
Author: Sithscourge
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HJ2DB2VGA
Estimated Mission Length: 20-40 min
Hi Sithscourge,
Welcome to the queue. Your mission is 15th in the queue behind sirboulevard. I look forward to playing/reviewing your mission and will get to it as soon as I can.
EDIT: Nevermind, just discovered an error that didn't appear in the playthrough when I was in the editor. Maybe you can add mine to your list later and I can get some feedback when it's actually working.
Hey, evil70th, I just starting my venture into creating Foundry missions and am looking for feedback. You mind adding mine to your queue?
Mission Name: Foothold
Author: wildkazoo
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HN6PZ5EJS
Estimated Mission Length: 30 mins or less
Summary: This is a good mission with well done maps, challenging but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. Your estimate of mission length at a half hour or less should be revised. With the story dialogue, combat and map designs the mission will be at least an hour. Remember your estimate is based on your knowledge of where the mission goes and does not taken into account all the detailed dialogue. It is still worth the hour or so of playing time you will spend on the mission. I would definitely recommend this mission to other players who like the combination of a good story and challenging combat.
I mention the mission requirement of the player having to go to DS9 just to talk to Admiral Marconi. This is an issue for any player that does not stay on DS9 and therefore a waste of their time. The only way it would work is if the player enters the Hotep System map from a location on DS9 following the interaction with the Admiral. Since that would require a retooling of that portion of the mission then you should consider moving the Admiral Marconi dialogue to follow the Grant Mission Dialogue. Then the player can proceed to the Hotep System in the Gamma Orionis sector block from wherever they are.
I mention triggered dialogue vice NPC dialogue that is not required to accomplish the mission. I think a good rule of thumb is if it is not required to accomplish the mission then make it triggered dialogue. This would be dialogue that is available for the player to read and is located along their path as they move across the map. The prompt would appear for the player to click on it and then once the player interacts it disappears. Optional triggered dialogue should be used to enhance a story giving the player information that is not required to accomplish the mission elements on the present map. The exception to this would be dialogue that is informational but not required to complete the mission. For example; it refines the player's instructions for locating something on the map that may not be clear in the mission dialogue. I would think this type of dialogue should be rare in a mission. Regular mission dialogue should always be clear on the task at hand.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a detailed description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider removing "[MissionInfo]Obtain the mission at DS9,[/MissionInfo]" along with the requirement for the player to go to DS9 just to talk to the Admiral. I will cover this in more detail in my summary above.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding the Admiral Marconi dialogue as follow on to the grant dialogue rather than having the player fly all the way to DS9 to get the information. I will cover this in more detail in my summary above.
Mission Task: This is a good task with a clear indication of the location of the first NPC contact. I noted no spelling errors with this task. The task direction to the Hotep System is good, but I am not sure it is necessary to have the player go to DS9 just to be directed to go to the Hotep system. That could have been handled with follow on dialogue when the player accepts the mission at the beginning. I will cover this in more detail in my summary above.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the entry prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Deep Space Nine (Cryptic Map): As I indicated in the mission task above the transit to this map and use of it just to talk to Admiral Marconi seems unnecessary to the mission. Consider moving all the dialogue with Admiral Marconi to follow on dialogue to the grant mission dialogue when the player first accepts the mission. I will cover this in more detail in my summary above.
Hotep System: This is a good map with a fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-All optional dialogue should be triggered dialogue. I will cover this in more detail in my summary above.
U.S.S. Bastion: This is a nice map with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Sibiran System: This is a good map design with tough fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Starbase 82: This is a good map design with several challenging battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-You have a couple of Borg standing around as if they are lost. Is this intentional? Consider changing their animation to lying on the floor dead or twitching.
-One of the dead and assimilated Klingon warriors is standing up. Consider changing the animation to have him face down dead like the other one.
-The body of the dead and partially assimilated station crew is standing up. Consider changing the animation to have him face down dead.
-I did not see any respawn points in the map. Ultimately I was only killed once deep inside the map and was able to be revived by one of my BOFFs. In that regard I was lucky. Consider adding respawn points deeper in the map.
U.S.S. Bastion: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The wrap up dialogue felt a little rushed. The secrecy surrounding the data and the reason it needed to be acquired seemed odd, especially since the player just battle their way through several Borg groups to acquire it. Consider rewriting the ending dialogue to offer a better explanation other than "need to know".
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 03/30/2014 on forum posting for: New Mission: Foothold.
It occured to me that in order to test any revisions properly I will need to have them published. So I have them back up in order to test any changes and to allow anyone to review the "1st editions" in order to pick out anything that I should be looking at when revising.
Thanks for the review. You have some great suggestions. I thought the Admiral Marconi meeting was great at first to build the whole secrecy thing, but it does involve the player in a lot of useless travel. I'll look at changing that. And thanks for mentioning respawn points. I totally forgot about those and will be adding some, especially to the last map.
I am humbly submitting part 2 of my Eclipse series for your kind review
Eclipse #2: The Borg of 4028
Author: intrinsical ID: ST-HKV6A7QVE Faction: Federation Level Requirement: 41+ Length: 50+ minutes. Type: Story, Puzzle, Ground Combat, Space Combat Historian's Note: This story occurred just prior to the Special Task Force missions, "Into The Hive" and "The Hive Onslaught" Remodulators: Required EV Suits: Nice to have Synopsis:
Priority one message from Starfleet Command. We are to rendezvous with a Task Force Omega Agent at the specified coordinates in the Lackey System in Sirius Sector Block.
Just for reference, part 1 is "Eclipse #1: Komahashi Maru", which you've reviewed some time ago.
Love your reviews, Evil70th, so thought maybe I'd toss my two into the ring if you had time!
The two are Part One and Part Two of my series, A Quiet Rebellion. Hope you like them!
---
Mission Name: A Message From Nowhere
Author: SerpentineOne
Minimum Level: Any
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HF862NNJ5
Estimated Mission Length: About 30 to 35 minutes.
---
Mission Name: The Wraith
Author: SerpentineOne
Minimum Level: Any
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HPG7B5XK9
Estimated Mission Length: About 1 hour, 10 minutes.
Hi there! I'd love it if you could give my mission a go as I'm after any and all advice regarding how I can improve it should there be any areas that need work
Mission: The Wings of Omicros Mission ID: ST-HNST6WXJK Author:@darkfirewithin Current Version: v1.1
Faction:Federation Level restriction: 16+ Starting Point: The wall panel in front of the ESD Transporter Room.
Duration: Approx. 30 minutes Combat: Ground and Space
Summary: With the Solanae Dyson Sphere and Iconian gateway in Tau Dewa now active, several Delta Quadrant species have started to engage with the Federation, the KDF and the Romulan Republic. One particular race, the Omicronians, wish to become members of the Federation. It is your duty to oversee the negotiations and ensure they run smoothly, as there are hostile forces moving against the integration of the Omicronians joining the Federation.
Mission Name: The Lost Samurai
Author: Theatrrap
Minimum Level: 16+ or above
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRYZXCBQ4
Estimated Mission Length: About 30 minutes.
Start Point: Console in Holodeck 2 at the Starfleet Academy
Description: The Klingons have a lost tale of an alien warrior who battled stronger and harder then any warrior in the Empire. Lost artifacts point to a way to return this warrior to our realm.
Follow the trail of the artifacts and investigate these truths.
[NOTE: This is my first project, any tips would be appreciated.]
Description:
Once again the Federation finds itself under the looming spectre of yet another Borg invasion. Since problems almost never come alone, a situation has arisen that requires your special attention:
An unusual artifact was discovered in a planetoid system near the Breshar System by the U.S.S. Audentia, commanded by Admiral Atalanta. It has been some time since Starfleet's last communication with the Audentia and there are reports of increasing pirate activity near that system. You are therefore requested by Admiral Gautier to investigate.
___________________________________ The Unsung Mission - Escalation -
Description:
A dangerous particle, a Section 31 agent in possession of one, and a conduit that is the catalyst to it all. All of which is happening under the shadow of an impending Borg invasion.
The investigation of three ship wreckages is your only bid to find anything that can help you hunt down the Section 31 agent before he unleashes whatever he is planning.
Be forewarned, there are others taking part in the hunt...
___________________________________ The Unsung Mission - Maelstrom -
Author: starfarertheta ID: ST-HST5R3A34 Faction: Federation Level: 41+ Length: 30-60 minutes long Features: - Story, - Branching Dialogue, - Large Scale Space and Ground Battles, - Bonus Objectives.
Description:
In the midst of a Borg invasion, chaos erupts in the Badlands as a task force from multiple factions clash for control over the conduit.
In the midst of this chaos, you must infiltrate the rogue Section 31 agent's base of operations in order to stop him, or anyone else from unleashing a plan of insanity, and you do not have much time.
Before that, however, you must deal with an impromptu situation courtesy of a sabotuer...
Hi starfarertheta,
Welcome to the queue. Your mission series are currently 14, 15 and 16 in the queue behind Sithscourge. I will get to your series as soon as I am able.
Thanks for the review. You have some great suggestions. I thought the Admiral Marconi meeting was great at first to build the whole secrecy thing, but it does involve the player in a lot of useless travel. I'll look at changing that. And thanks for mentioning respawn points. I totally forgot about those and will be adding some, especially to the last map.
Hi wildkazoo,
Well as always I am glad I could help, even if sometimes it takes a while. I understand what you were thinking in the original plan for meeting with Admiral Marconi it can be intriguing but then you find you have to go even farther to get into the actual mission. It can be frustrating. If you wanted to keep the meeting with Admiral Marconi as part of the mission you could change the entry point for the mission to a nearby location on DS9. Forgetting to place respawn points is a fairly common mistake but it can be a frustrating one if you are battling heavy enemy mobs.
I am humbly submitting part 2 of my Eclipse series for your kind review
Eclipse #2: The Borg of 4028
Author: intrinsical ID: ST-HKV6A7QVE Faction: Federation Level Requirement: 41+ Length: 50+ minutes. Type: Story, Puzzle, Ground Combat, Space Combat Historian's Note: This story occurred just prior to the Special Task Force missions, "Into The Hive" and "The Hive Onslaught" Remodulators: Required EV Suits: Nice to have Synopsis:
Priority one message from Starfleet Command. We are to rendezvous with a Task Force Omega Agent at the specified coordinates in the Lackey System in Sirius Sector Block.
Just for reference, part 1 is "Eclipse #1: Komahashi Maru", which you've reviewed some time ago.
Hi intrinsical,
Welcome to the queue. I humbly accept the submission of your mission, which is currently 17th in the queue behind starfarertheta. I will get to your mission just as soon as I can.
Love your reviews, Evil70th, so thought maybe I'd toss my two into the ring if you had time!
The two are Part One and Part Two of my series, A Quiet Rebellion. Hope you like them!
---
Mission Name: A Message From Nowhere
Author: SerpentineOne
Minimum Level: Any
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HF862NNJ5
Estimated Mission Length: About 30 to 35 minutes.
---
Mission Name: The Wraith
Author: SerpentineOne
Minimum Level: Any
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HPG7B5XK9
Estimated Mission Length: About 1 hour, 10 minutes.
Hi SerpentineOne,
Welcome to the queue. I am glad you have enjoyed my reviews. It is my pleasure to offer this service to my fellow authors. I accept your mission series, which is currently 18th and 19th in the queue behind intrinsical. I will get to your missions just as soon as I can.
Hi there! I'd love it if you could give my mission a go as I'm after any and all advice regarding how I can improve it should there be any areas that need work
Mission: The Wings of Omicros Mission ID: ST-HNST6WXJK Author:@darkfirewithin Current Version: v1.1
Faction:Federation Level restriction: 16+ Starting Point: The wall panel in front of the ESD Transporter Room.
Duration: Approx. 30 minutes Combat: Ground and Space
Summary: With the Solanae Dyson Sphere and Iconian gateway in Tau Dewa now active, several Delta Quadrant species have started to engage with the Federation, the KDF and the Romulan Republic. One particular race, the Omicronians, wish to become members of the Federation. It is your duty to oversee the negotiations and ensure they run smoothly, as there are hostile forces moving against the integration of the Omicronians joining the Federation.
Welcome to the queue. I am more than happy to review your mission, which is currently 20th in the queue behind SerpentineOne. I will review your mission just as soon as I can.
Mission Name: The Lost Samurai
Author: Theatrrap
Minimum Level: 16+ or above
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRYZXCBQ4
Estimated Mission Length: About 30 minutes.
Start Point: Console in Holodeck 2 at the Starfleet Academy
Description: The Klingons have a lost tale of an alien warrior who battled stronger and harder then any warrior in the Empire. Lost artifacts point to a way to return this warrior to our realm.
Follow the trail of the artifacts and investigate these truths.
[NOTE: This is my first project, any tips would be appreciated.]
Hi Theatrrap,
Welcome to the queue and to the Foundry. Your mission is currently 21st in the queue behind darkfirewithin. I will review your mission as soon as possible.
In the meantime I have made many recommendations throughout my reviews in this forum. If you have questions please feel free to ask. If you have not been on StarBase UGC. I highly recommend the tutorials there.
Welcome to the queue. I am glad you have enjoyed my reviews. It is my pleasure to offer this service to my fellow authors. I accept your mission series, which is currently 18th and 19th in the queue behind intrinsical. I will get to your missions just as soon as I can.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Thank you very much! It is most appreciated and I hope you enjoy the missions!
Hi Evil, I was wondering if you stillhad the notes from Scars of the pride, part 1 so I could see what typos needed to be fixed.
Hi ashkrik23,
I finished part 1 and am working on the report. There are few if any spelling errors so far. Most of what I am finding is grammatical errors. It will be a little bit before I finish the report and then publish it. Once I am done I will play part 2 and give my review.
Comments
Thank you for taking your time and effort to play part 4 .
Thank you.
Logitech007
Name: The Unexpected Return Part Four
ID: ST-HJLZCA4DX
Author: Logitech007
Language: English
Allegiance: Starfleet-Federation
Level: 50
Version:V1.1:
Story: You and your team have made it back to Deep space nine from the Tzenkethi homeworld with some disturbing evidence of their super weapon capable of destroying entire planets. The Tzenkethi forces have set their eyes on destroying the Federation and the Klingon Empire with this weapon. Will the Tzenkethi forces succeed on destroying the Federation and the Klingon Empire or will you be able to destroy the Tzenkethi forces and their weapons before its too late?
Where to start:Wall console just outside of the Transporter room on Earth space dock.
Thanks again Logitech007
No Prize for Second Contact IV
ID: ST-HPH7UDHU7
Allegiance: Federation
Level: Level 16+
Language: English
Play Time: 1 hour - 1 1/2 hours
Thank you, Evil!
Hi maninblack,
Welcome back to the queue. Your mission is 11th in the queue behind Logitech007. I am making progress on the queue as fast as I can when real life allows.
Thanks for your patience and for authoring,
Brian
Hi Logitech,
Your newest installment is currently 12th in the queue behind maninblack. I will get to this mission as soon as I can.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi councilspectre,
Welcome back to the queue. Your final installment in the series is currently 13th in the queue behind Logitech. I will get to your mission just as soon as I can.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Federation Mission - "[Rom] Valley of the Shadow II" (aka "The Shadow of Death")
Author: NCC-89471
Allegiance: Federation-allied Romulan
Project ID: ST-HLAM39YR6
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission with good map designs, fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I enjoyed the mission from start to finish and would definitely recommend this mission to other players. It was a good installment in the series.
I did mention your excessive use of the response button "Continue". I have covered that as an issue in multiple reviews so I will not spend any more time on this issue. Suffice to say it needs to be addressed.
In your description you mention the issue with BOFFs sometimes not appearing as intended in your story. I have never actually seen this issue in any of my missions. I also only noted this issue in your dialogue on the first couple of maps. If you used the multiple BOFF or NPC in dialogue chains on other maps then is seems unlikely to be an actual issue with the Foundry. The issue could be related to your labeling the BOFFs in the dialogue string. This could be interpreted as an issue with the BOFF labeling. If this is what is being referred to in your description because folks are complaining that you had a tactical officer labeled as an engineer then it is most likely an issue with labeling. Remember that some players do not split up their away team assignments with at least one Tactical, Science, and Engineer which can also cause issues. You can leave the Name of the BOFF blank and avoid the potential for mislabeling one of the players. A final possibility to consider is when you first generate dialogue it asks you to select the default BOFF for that string of dialogue. You must select that particular BOFF in order to continue the creation of that dialogue string. In that dialogue string you can select a different BOFF or other NPC for any other portion of the same dialogue string. If you are not careful in that selection you can select the wrong one or it may revert to the default BOFF or NPC you selected at the start of the chain. I would suggest a careful review of each chain of dialogue if you have multiple BOFFs or NPCs selected in that chain. I have found that if the BOFFs do not show up as I intended it typically is because I selected the wrong one in a string with multiple BOFFs.
One last thing, I mentioned your use of "RECENT CHANGES" and "AUTHOR'S NOTES" in the description. The [MissionInfo] writing is the majority of your description. You need to use the description to highlight the best aspects of your mission and tell the potential player why they should spend time playing your mission instead of someone else's. It is the initial look at your mission and a chance to draw us in to your mission. There is nothing wrong with "RECENT CHANGES" and "AUTHOR'S NOTES" but, in my opinion, they should not be the bulk of your description.
Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: The description of the story is overwhelmed by your "RECENT CHANGES" and "AUTHOR'S NOTES" dialogue. Consider providing more of the story in the description to draw the players in and make them want to click the 'Hail' button. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the use of the response button "Continue" in the follow on dialogue to "..." or something along those lines.
Mission Task: This is a good mission task with a clear location for the start of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
MAPS:
1: Drozana VII space: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-The issue you mention in your description regarding the BOFFs displaying incorrectly. I will discuss this in my summary above.
2: Nimbus III surface: This is a good map with simple, optional combat and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
3: Bironex Prime space: This is a good map design with good optional combat and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
4: Bironex Prime surface: This is a good map design with good optional combat and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
5: Bironex V space: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
6: Mol'Rihan space: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider moving the spawn point closer to the Federation and Klingon ships. There seems to be no point to having the player fly half way across the map just to beam to the other ship.
7: U.S.S. Pax Federatica bridge: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
8: Mol'Rihan space: This is a good map design with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-The pseudo puzzle for the player to figure out what order to process the data seemed unnecessary to the story.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job creating this mission in the series. I look forward to reviewing/playing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 03/23/2014 on forum posting for: Valley of the Shadow II
I think you might have misunderstood my note about the BOff problem. It's not a Foundry issue, or a problem with my dialog titles; it is a known and documented game-wide bug, whereby dialogue intended for the Engineering BOff is delivered by the Science BOff instead.
As for the "Continue" button text, that is a stylistic decision on my part. For button text, as a general rule, I put dialogue in "quotes", stage directions in [square parentheses], and leave navigation directions like Continue and Back without any indicating marks.
My Foundry missions | My STO Wiki page | My Twitter home page
You are correct that I did not understand the original statement in your description. With that said, the general recommendations made in the review are highly recommended to check the dialogue. I have seen a variation as described based on the dialogue entries I have made. From a programming trouble shooting perspective it does not seem like a consistent problem. I imagine it will be a while before they can fix it. However the recommendations still stand regarding the description and notes pertaining to the issue.
The recommendation regarding the use of "Continue" is also a style issue for me and that is why I point it out in my reviews.
As with all my reviews, the contents are strictly my recommendations and you are free to take them or not. I really enjoyed the mission. Keep up the good work.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Klingon Mission - Honor of Ferasa
Author: sirboulevard
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HRTWMNNYU
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission with glorious battles and excellent story dialogue. The map designs are really well done. The building design on the Ferasa map overlooking the cityscape was the best I have seen in a long time. I would highly recommend this mission for all players who like a good story with glorious battles and excellent map designs.
I do not think you can correct any of the issues I mention below because of the status as a spotlight mission. If you can fix issues the NPC Nausicaan that shows up on the Ferasa - Mesinai Forest, and Hidden Ferasan Research Lab maps is not part of my crew feels odd. Also the map transfer dialogue and button to go to the Cryptic map should be fixed if possible.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good detailed description. I like the "Side Effects" listing. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is good dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: Normally I would recommend adding the start location to the initial task but since this is a featured mission changes are beyond your control. However for future reference you should have the initial location of the first custom map in the initial mission task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
Ferasan System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Ferasa: This is an outstanding map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Ferasa - Mesinai Forest: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing if possible:
-The NPC Nausicaan on the map transfer dialogue is not on my away team nor is it any of my BOFFs. It seems odd.
Hidden Ferasan Research Lab: This is a good map design with glorious battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing if possible:
-The NPC Nausicaan reporting to the player regarding the lab and on the map transfer dialogue is not on my away team nor is it any of my BOFFs.
Ferasa - Mesinai Forest Camp: This is a good map with glorious battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
The Battle of Ferasa: This is a good map design with glorious battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Starbase 29: This is a good map design with glorious battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing if possible:
-The map transfer dialogue and button both say "Go to Next Map".
Qo'noS (Cryptic Map): This is a good use of the Cryptic map to bring the mission to a close. The limitation in the Foundry for using Cryptic maps is a little annoying but you used it well. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing if possible:
-Consider changing the Worf interact button to "Report to Worf" or something along those lines. The current "Talk to Worf" is the same as the default map button for Worf.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job authoring this mission. It is truly worthy of being a spotlighted mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 03/28/2014 on forum posting for: sirboulevard's Honor of Series
As far as the bugs you mentioned go:
The quest start pointer. Yeah, I knew about it. Actually had fixed it the night before and then woke up to Branflakes' mail of "You got spotlighted" before I could publish the correction.
The random NPC thing isn't anything I can control. Its supposed to pull from your Boffs.
As far as the transfer dialogue to Qo'noS: Cryptic does not give authors the ability to alter those prompts. Same with Worf on Qo'noS. It's all locked down.
That said, thank you for your review, and I actually finished up my final touches on the rest of the series and would like to add them to the list.
Honor of Orions
(KDF) Lv 35+
ST-HPVCAMDGH
Three weeks after the Shiassi incident on Ferasa, you are called back to Qo'nos at the request of Ambassador S'taass. Has the smoke cleared from that dark hour? Or has the darkness just started to move in?
Honor of the Empire
(KDF) Lv 50+
ST-HAMH4P3R5
Following the incident with the
TRIBBLE Hydra! Hail Janeway!
Mission Name: Shadows Rising
Author: Sithscourge
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HJ2DB2VGA
Estimated Mission Length: 20-40 min
Hi sirboulevard
As always I am glad I could help. The limitation in the Foundry for editing dialogue buttons and map transfers is annoying. The other problem with using map transfers to Cryptic maps is the button is still active to take you right back into the custom maps you just came out of. Perhaps these issues will be addressed eventually. In the meantime I would limit the number of times you use those transfers to Cryptic maps if possible. It is too bad that you cannot update the mission once it enters the spotlight status, although I understand why they lock it down.
Both of the new missions have been added to my queue and are 13th and 14th behind councilspectres mission. I will get to it and all the other missions in my queue as soon as I can.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi Sithscourge,
Welcome to the queue. Your mission is 15th in the queue behind sirboulevard. I look forward to playing/reviewing your mission and will get to it as soon as I can.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Federation Mission - Foothold
Author: wildkazoo
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HN6PZ5EJS
Report Start
Summary: This is a good mission with well done maps, challenging but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. Your estimate of mission length at a half hour or less should be revised. With the story dialogue, combat and map designs the mission will be at least an hour. Remember your estimate is based on your knowledge of where the mission goes and does not taken into account all the detailed dialogue.
I mention the mission requirement of the player having to go to DS9 just to talk to Admiral Marconi. This is an issue for any player that does not stay on DS9 and therefore a waste of their time. The only way it would work is if the player enters the Hotep System map from a location on DS9 following the interaction with the Admiral. Since that would require a retooling of that portion of the mission then you should consider moving the Admiral Marconi dialogue to follow the Grant Mission Dialogue. Then the player can proceed to the Hotep System in the Gamma Orionis sector block from wherever they are.
I mention triggered dialogue vice NPC dialogue that is not required to accomplish the mission. I think a good rule of thumb is if it is not required to accomplish the mission then make it triggered dialogue. This would be dialogue that is available for the player to read and is located along their path as they move across the map. The prompt would appear for the player to click on it and then once the player interacts it disappears. Optional triggered dialogue should be used to enhance a story giving the player information that is not required to accomplish the mission elements on the present map. The exception to this would be dialogue that is informational but not required to complete the mission. For example; it refines the player's instructions for locating something on the map that may not be clear in the mission dialogue. I would think this type of dialogue should be rare in a mission. Regular mission dialogue should always be clear on the task at hand.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a detailed description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider removing "[MissionInfo]Obtain the mission at DS9,[/MissionInfo]" along with the requirement for the player to go to DS9 just to talk to the Admiral. I will cover this in more detail in my summary above.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding the Admiral Marconi dialogue as follow on to the grant dialogue rather than having the player fly all the way to DS9 to get the information. I will cover this in more detail in my summary above.
Mission Task: This is a good task with a clear indication of the location of the first NPC contact. I noted no spelling errors with this task. The task direction to the Hotep System is good, but I am not sure it is necessary to have the player go to DS9 just to be directed to go to the Hotep system. That could have been handled with follow on dialogue when the player accepts the mission at the beginning. I will cover this in more detail in my summary above.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the entry prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
Deep Space Nine (Cryptic Map): As I indicated in the mission task above the transit to this map and use of it just to talk to Admiral Marconi seems unnecessary to the mission. Consider moving all the dialogue with Admiral Marconi to follow on dialogue to the grant mission dialogue when the player first accepts the mission. I will cover this in more detail in my summary above.
Hotep System: This is a good map with a fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-All optional dialogue should be triggered dialogue. I will cover this in more detail in my summary above.
U.S.S. Bastion: This is a nice map with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Sibiran System: This is a good map design with tough fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Starbase 82: This is a good map design with several challenging battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-You have a couple of Borg standing around as if they are lost. Is this intentional? Consider changing their animation to lying on the floor dead or twitching.
-One of the dead and assimilated Klingon warriors is standing up. Consider changing the animation to have him face down dead like the other one.
-The body of the dead and partially assimilated station crew is standing up. Consider changing the animation to have him face down dead.
-I did not see any respawn points in the map. Ultimately I was only killed once deep inside the map and was able to be revived by one of my BOFFs. In that regard I was lucky. Consider adding respawn points deeper in the map.
U.S.S. Bastion: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The wrap up dialogue felt a little rushed. The secrecy surrounding the data and the reason it needed to be acquired seemed odd, especially since the player just battle their way through several Borg groups to acquire it. Consider rewriting the ending dialogue to offer a better explanation other than "need to know".
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 03/30/2014 on forum posting for: New Mission: Foothold.
The Unsung Mission
- Artifacts -
Author: starfarertheta
ID: ST-HNHDXH7MU
Faction: Federation
Level Requirement: 41+
Length: 30 - 60 minutes.
The Unsung Mission [Under the "Review" tab]
- Escalation -
Author: starfarertheta
ID: ST-HQTGG3SXM
Faction: Federation
Level Requirement: 41+
Length: 40 - 75 minutes (longer when exploring).
Features:
The Unsung Mission [Under the "Review" tab]
- Inferno - (I decided to change the name of this one.)
Author: starfarertheta
ID: ST-HST5R3A34
Faction: Federation
Level Requirement: 41+
Length: 30 - 60 minutes.
Original Edit: I had to withdraw these missions since I will be performing some revisions to them in the future.
Eclipse #2: The Borg of 4028
Author: intrinsical
ID: ST-HKV6A7QVE
Faction: Federation
Level Requirement: 41+
Length: 50+ minutes.
Type: Story, Puzzle, Ground Combat, Space Combat
Historian's Note: This story occurred just prior to the Special Task Force missions, "Into The Hive" and "The Hive Onslaught"
Remodulators: Required
EV Suits: Nice to have
Synopsis:
Priority one message from Starfleet Command. We are to rendezvous with a Task Force Omega Agent at the specified coordinates in the Lackey System in Sirius Sector Block.
Just for reference, part 1 is "Eclipse #1: Komahashi Maru", which you've reviewed some time ago.
Love your reviews, Evil70th, so thought maybe I'd toss my two into the ring if you had time!
The two are Part One and Part Two of my series, A Quiet Rebellion. Hope you like them!
---
Mission Name: A Message From Nowhere
Author: SerpentineOne
Minimum Level: Any
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HF862NNJ5
Estimated Mission Length: About 30 to 35 minutes.
---
Mission Name: The Wraith
Author: SerpentineOne
Minimum Level: Any
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HPG7B5XK9
Estimated Mission Length: About 1 hour, 10 minutes.
Mission: The Wings of Omicros
Mission ID: ST-HNST6WXJK
Author: @darkfirewithin
Current Version: v1.1
Faction: Federation
Level restriction: 16+
Starting Point: The wall panel in front of the ESD Transporter Room.
Duration: Approx. 30 minutes
Combat: Ground and Space
Summary: With the Solanae Dyson Sphere and Iconian gateway in Tau Dewa now active, several Delta Quadrant species have started to engage with the Federation, the KDF and the Romulan Republic. One particular race, the Omicronians, wish to become members of the Federation. It is your duty to oversee the negotiations and ensure they run smoothly, as there are hostile forces moving against the integration of the Omicronians joining the Federation.
Link: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=1063831
Currently it's still in the review phase
Author: Theatrrap
Minimum Level: 16+ or above
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRYZXCBQ4
Estimated Mission Length: About 30 minutes.
Start Point: Console in Holodeck 2 at the Starfleet Academy
Description: The Klingons have a lost tale of an alien warrior who battled stronger and harder then any warrior in the Empire. Lost artifacts point to a way to return this warrior to our realm.
Follow the trail of the artifacts and investigate these truths.
[NOTE: This is my first project, any tips would be appreciated.]
Hi starfarertheta,
Welcome to the queue. Your mission series are currently 14, 15 and 16 in the queue behind Sithscourge. I will get to your series as soon as I am able.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi wildkazoo,
Well as always I am glad I could help, even if sometimes it takes a while.
Thanks again for authoring,
Brian
Hi intrinsical,
Welcome to the queue. I humbly accept the submission of your mission, which is currently 17th in the queue behind starfarertheta.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi SerpentineOne,
Welcome to the queue. I am glad you have enjoyed my reviews. It is my pleasure to offer this service to my fellow authors. I accept your mission series, which is currently 18th and 19th in the queue behind intrinsical. I will get to your missions just as soon as I can.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi darkfirewithin,
Welcome to the queue. I am more than happy to review your mission, which is currently 20th in the queue behind SerpentineOne. I will review your mission just as soon as I can.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hi Theatrrap,
Welcome to the queue and to the Foundry. Your mission is currently 21st in the queue behind darkfirewithin. I will review your mission as soon as possible.
In the meantime I have made many recommendations throughout my reviews in this forum. If you have questions please feel free to ask. If you have not been on StarBase UGC. I highly recommend the tutorials there.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Thank you very much!
Hi ashkrik23,
I finished part 1 and am working on the report. There are few if any spelling errors so far. Most of what I am finding is grammatical errors. It will be a little bit before I finish the report and then publish it. Once I am done I will play part 2 and give my review.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Thanks. Real life has a way of interfering sometimes but I will get to your mission as soon as I can.
Brian