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  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited November 2013
    admirison wrote: »
    True -- it's better than them forging ahead with an even buggier-than-usual Foundry. Just wish they could find a way to avoid the downtime without TRIBBLE anything up.

    It takes time to develop a product that works well and they have come a long way with the Foundry. The fact that players have been able to develop great missions is an excellent way to expand the content and keep players coming back for more. As I have said before, the author generated content improves the playability of the game for the long term. Sure there are many things we want to be able to do with the Foundry and they are adding those features all the time. I think it will only get better with time just as the authored missions improve the game with time. :)

    Thanks to all the authors out there. Keep up the great work, when the Foundry is back up. ;)
    Brian
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    Hi everyone. Below is the queue as it presently stands while we wait for the Foundry to be reopened for editing. As I have posted earlier I will resume reviews once the Foundry is restored and allows ratings again. This will also allow for the complete republishing of all the missions that may be affected by the current shutdown.

    Mission 1: Missing from the Mirror Author: Deffdog

    Mission 2: Of Morals and Ethics Author: voporak

    Mission 3: Alliances and Alignments Author: admirison

    Mission 4: Contact Squared Part 2 Author: eldil

    Mission 5: Odyssey Author: NCC-2099

    Mission 6: STQ - Star Trek: Quantum Author: NCC-2099

    Mission 7: No Prize for Second Contact III Author: Contactpsi

    Mission 8: The Bajoran Author: djf021

    Mission 9: Healing Old Wounds (Of Bajor and Cardassia: Ep. I) Author: aleniskendra

    Mission 10: Cold Winds Author: drogyn1701

    Mission 11: Nausicaans in the Valley of Wind Author: djscman

    Thanks for authoring,
    Brian
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    varzec wrote: »
    Hey, not sure if your still doing this, but mind running through my Mission Missing from the Mirror. You reviwed it before, but I had to make some changes to the story due to change of environment at Drozanna,

    Federation Mission - Missing from the Mirror
    Author: deffdog
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HJ2AQ77MQ


    Report Start


    Summary: This is a good mission and I enjoyed the re-review as much as my original play through of this mission. There are great map designs, tough but fun battles and excellent story dialogue that draws the player into the mission. You succeeded in drawing me into the mission and making me feel as though I had an actual connection to the characters within the mission itself. I would highly recommend this mission to anyone who likes a great story with excellent map design and a good mix of tough battles to keep it interesting.

    Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

    Mission Description: This description is a little too short. Consider adding a little more detail to the help motivate the player into clicking the 'Hail' button. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description

    Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue is well written, drawing the player in and making them want to click 'Accept'. The dialogue here is the style of writing that I refer to above in the description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

    Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear location to continue the mission. I noted no spelling errors with this initial task.

    Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the entry prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this

    MAPS:
    Drozana Station: This is a great use of the Cryptic map. The dialog is outstanding. I noted no spelling errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -Consider changing the "Odumli" dialog response button "We are looking for" to read "I am looking for". This is recommended because on this Cryptic map the player does not have their away team with them so it does not read correctly.
    -Consider changing the response button "We only wish to speak with her" to read "I only wish to speak with her".
    -Consider changing the response button "What if we made it profitable for you" to read "What if I made it profitable for you".

    Drozana VIP Level: This is a great map design with some tough battles but they are not impossible. The dialog is very well written. I noted no issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -The Talk to Vata dialogue; consider changing the response button "Dont play games with me" to read "Don't play games with me".
    -Consider changing "Those Ferengi are sometime a little" to read "Those Ferengi are sometimes a little".
    -Consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "I'll see what I can do" or something along those lines.

    Chiron Asteroid Field: This is an excellent map design. The navigation through the field and scan inhibitor effect is really well set up in conjunction with the combat. The dialog is outstanding and really contributes to the story. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map.

    Terran Empire Labor Camp 518: This map design is outstanding. The dialog is very well written. The battles are tough but not impossible. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map.

    Chiron Asteroid Field: This is a really great map design with good optional combat and the dialog serves to wrap up the mission quite nicely. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted only one item to consider changing:
    -Post "Escape with rescued prisoners" Admiral's dialog; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "Thank you Admiral" or something along those lines.


    End Report


    Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You should create forum posting in the ?Foundry Mission Database? forums regarding this mission. You did a great job with this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
    Brian
  • ashkrik23ashkrik23 Member Posts: 10,809 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    Hi Evil. I just finished the finale for Part 2 of Perfection and I was hoping you could give it a test run.
    This is a Federation level 41+ mission.


    With the fall of Earth, the unthinkable has happened. The Borg, now powered by the Omega Molecule, have launched their final campaign to rid the galaxy of every species. With the Federation in shambles and every civilization under threat of extinction, there is only one hope. Can the the Federation and its allies and enemies come together to save their homes? Or will this spell the end for our existence as we know it?

    You have been summoned to the Kalferi system, where a task force is the last stand against this impending genocide

    This is the finale to the Perfection series started in part 1. This mission is intended for solo play. Bring a remodulator as this is a Borg mission. Please pay attention to the green mission text whenever you see it. Please report any issues or suggestions to @ashkrik23 by mail, reviews, or on the forum in the foundry section.
    King of Lions rawr! Protect the wildlife of the world. Check out my foundry series Perfection and Scars of the Pride. arcgames.com/en/forums#/discussion/1138650/ashkrik23s-foundry-missions
    ashkrik_by_lindale_ff-d65zc3i.png
  • voporakvoporak Member Posts: 5,621 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    Name: Of Terror and Darkness
    Faction: Fed
    Author: @voporak
    ID: ST-HS98ZW5VI

    This is a sequel to Of Morals and Ethics. :) Thanks.
    I ask nothing but that you remember me.
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    ashkrik23 wrote: »
    Hi Evil. I just finished the finale for Part 2 of Perfection and I was hoping you could give it a test run.
    This is a Federation level 41+ mission.


    With the fall of Earth, the unthinkable has happened. The Borg, now powered by the Omega Molecule, have launched their final campaign to rid the galaxy of every species. With the Federation in shambles and every civilization under threat of extinction, there is only one hope. Can the the Federation and its allies and enemies come together to save their homes? Or will this spell the end for our existence as we know it?

    You have been summoned to the Kalferi system, where a task force is the last stand against this impending genocide

    This is the finale to the Perfection series started in part 1. This mission is intended for solo play. Bring a remodulator as this is a Borg mission. Please pay attention to the green mission text whenever you see it. Please report any issues or suggestions to @ashkrik23 by mail, reviews, or on the forum in the foundry section.

    Hi ashkrik23,

    Sorry for the late reply but I have been very busy at work and with the holidays. You r mission is now 10th in the queue behind djscman. I have just wrapped up the evaluation of voporak 's mission and will get to your mission as soon as I can.

    Thanks for authoring,
    Brian
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    voporak wrote: »
    Name: Of Terror and Darkness
    Faction: Fed
    Author: @voporak
    ID: ST-HS98ZW5VI

    This is a sequel to Of Morals and Ethics. :) Thanks.

    Hi voporak,

    I just finished your other mission review and will post the review following this response. This mission is currently 11th in the queue behind ashkrik23.

    Thanks for authoring,
    Brian
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    voporak wrote: »
    Mission name: Of Morals and Ethics
    Author: voporak
    Minimum level: 35
    Allegiance: Fed
    Project ID: ST-HEA5OL86A
    Estimated length: 40-60 minutes, depending on how much and how fast you read the dialogue (it's important to knowing what's going on), according to my friends.

    Federation Mission - Of Morals and Ethics
    Author: voporak
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HEA5OL86A


    Report Start


    Summary: This is a good mission with tough but fun battles on several maps and well written story dialogue. Your map designs are also good but on the ground maps you had no animation assigned to the player when conducting interactions. When the player vandalizes, plants charges, or downloads data there should be appropriate animation with it. In addition when the player "vandalizes" something it does not appear to change. I would recommend this mission to other players who like a nice story with tough but fun battles.

    As I have mentioned many times before the response button "Continue" is the default response when a button is left blank for dialogue. In this mission you changed "Continue" to "Next", which means you changed the default setting. I bring this up because if you are going to take the time to change the default then consider go a little further and add a response that works with the dialogue. I noted a few places where you used "Continue" as well as "Next" for several response buttons to dialogue throughout most maps for this mission. There are places in dialogue where these responses would work but most of the time it just does not work. This is particularly true when the "Player" is receiving reports from a BOFF. It can sometimes be difficult finding the appropriate response, but I believe it helps make the player feel like they are part of the story rather than just reading dialog.

    Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

    Mission Description: The description is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

    Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue is well written. I suggest removing the last paragraph asking for feedback on the mission. It detracts from the story and is unnecessary. If you feel it is needed then consider moving it to the bottom of the description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

    Mission Task: Consider adding the start location to include the sector block to the initial mission tasking. It will make it easier for the player to find the start location of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

    Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

    MAPS:
    Edge of the Solar System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -Consider having the Science BOFF name a specific particle other than "some kind of particle". It seems unlikely that the Science BOFF would make a statement like that, if needed have them name a couple of specific particles.

    Unknown System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

    Treasure Trading Station System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Next" vice "Continue" is pretty much the same as using "Continue". Consider changing it to an actual response that matches the dialogue. I will note this on maps from this point forward and cover it in the summary.

    Treasure Trading Station: This is a good map design with a nice battle and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -The dialogue with Korf; consider adding some sort of response to the question rather than just ending the conversation and making the player reinitiate the dialogue.
    -The use of the response button "Next".

    Deep Space Nine: This is a nice map design but needs a little more story dialogue to make it worth the map transfer. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Next".

    Tortuga: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Next".

    Sublevel D: This is a good map design with tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -None of the interactions have any animation associated with them. Consider adding animation for the various interactions. This is especially true when the player "Vandalizes". As you have it currently designed nothing changes when the player uses the vandalize interaction.

    Tortuga Promenade: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Next" and "Continue".

    Askkrik System: This is a good map design with a tough but fun battle and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Next".

    Trivas System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -Consider changing the response button "that needs repair and installing" to read "that needs repair and installation".
    -The use of the response button "Next".

    Empok Nor: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -The two initial tasks having the player talk with L'ewk and Tren Krom are pointless and add nothing to the story. Consider removing those tasks.
    -The use of the response button "Next".

    Leaving Trivas System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -Consider having the player back out and then warp. Having the player move across the map to then change maps seems unnecessary as it adds nothing to the story.

    Tortuga Ambush: This is a good map design with very tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Next" and "Continue".

    Return To The Edge of the Solar System: This is a nice map design but needs a little more story dialogue to make it worth the map transfer. Otherwise consider ending the mission on the previous map. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.


    End Report


    Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job with this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
    Brian

    This critique report also filed 12/24/2013 on forum posting for: Of Morals and Ethics
  • voporakvoporak Member Posts: 5,621 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    Thanks for the review Evil, I'll start changing stuff. Do you think replacing Next buttons with "-Continue listening-" or something similar would work in places where a player response is not needed?

    Also, I don't know why the interaction animations didn't work for you. I did notice a lag in their activation sometimes, mainly on vandalization, but they always showed for some amount of time. In CatStar's video of the mission, you can also see his character smashing a console.
    I ask nothing but that you remember me.
  • borrowedtuneborrowedtune Member Posts: 138 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    Feel free to add my mission to the list:

    Title: A Taste of Collateral Damage
    Author: BorrowedTune
    ID: ST-HPMDJ5JQR
    Allegiance: Starfleet
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • smokinssoulmatesmokinssoulmate Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    Cube 571

    ST-HBCZIGTCK
    AUTHOR: SmokinsSoulmate
    level: 41+
    federation based
    Note: For the intial stages you must read the NPC Text. As this an Intelligence mission you only get told things once.

    forum post http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=963751

    Story based.

    Combat & Story = balanced

    Play time: 1hr-2hrs solo 1 hour teamed.

    Authors comments: I am really excited for this mission, I started planning for it in the middle of Season 7. I decided to take my time with it instead of rushing potential ruin a good mission. I get excited every time I play the mission and it sure does make me think all the way through. I am really excited and hope others will enjoy this mission too.

    As this is my first mission I got a lot of help from the community and took their insights to make the Mission better than I originally had intended.

    I hope you all enjoy it!
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    voporak wrote: »
    Thanks for the review Evil, I'll start changing stuff. Do you think replacing Next buttons with "-Continue listening-" or something similar would work in places where a player response is not needed?

    As always I am glad I could help refine your mission.

    With regard to the "-Continue listening-" vice the default response or "Next" it is simply the flow of the dialogue that I am interested in here. Those responses just do not feel as if they are part of the story. This is especially true when the dialogue is a report from a BOFF or something similar to that. As an author the goal should be to draw the player in and make them feel as if they are part of the story. This can be done by giving the player multiple responses to the dialogue or by giving a specific response to the dialogue rather than the default. Of course there are times when "Continue" might work in the dialogue but in those circumstances I recommend using "..." as a response. The responses are important to draw the player into the story especially if it is a longer story. They tend not to notice if the story is well written and they feel as if they are a part of it rather than just an observer. Also in those circumstances I would recommend a "Skip Dialogue" button strategically placed with a summary of what the player needs for the mission. This will help the players who do not like longer stories. :)
    voporak wrote: »
    Also, I don't know why the interaction animations didn't work for you. I did notice a lag in their activation sometimes, mainly on vandalization, but they always showed for some amount of time. In CatStar's video of the mission, you can also see his character smashing a console.
    The lack of animation I noted could very well be lag times in the system. The main thing I was concerned about was the fact that the player is supposed to be vandalizing a console or crates and nothing appears to change in or around the area. For example if the player is to vandalize a console you should add a small explosion and smoke to the console that is triggered when the player completes that task. If it is crates then consider adding debris to the area that triggers when the interaction is completed. This would make it feel more like the player had done something regardless of the animation itself. ;)

    I hope this helps clarify my report in more detail for you. As I have said many times before, the authoring of missions makes the play environment far richer than it would be without it.
    Thanks for authoring.
    Brian
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    Feel free to add my mission to the list:

    Title: A Taste of Collateral Damage
    Author: BorrowedTune
    ID: ST-HPMDJ5JQR
    Allegiance: Starfleet

    Hey BorrowedTune,

    Welcome to the queue. Your mission is 12th in the queue behind voporak. I will get to the mission review as soon as I can.

    Thanks for authoring,
    Brian
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    ST-HBCZIGTCK
    AUTHOR: SmokinsSoulmate
    level: 41+
    federation based
    Note: For the intial stages you must read the NPC Text. As this an Intelligence mission you only get told things once.

    forum post http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=963751

    Story based.

    Combat & Story = balanced

    Play time: 1hr-2hrs solo 1 hour teamed.

    Authors comments: I am really excited for this mission, I started planning for it in the middle of Season 7. I decided to take my time with it instead of rushing potential ruin a good mission. I get excited every time I play the mission and it sure does make me think all the way through. I am really excited and hope others will enjoy this mission too.

    As this is my first mission I got a lot of help from the community and took their insights to make the Mission better than I originally had intended.

    I hope you all enjoy it!

    Hi SmokinsSoulmate,

    Welcome to the queue. I was able to follow the link and get the name of the mission from your forum posting but it was not included in your request for a review. Just to be sure is the name of this mission "Cube 571"? Your mission is currently 13th in the queue behind BorrowedTune. I will get to the review just as soon as I can.

    Thanks for authoring,
    Brian
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    admirison wrote: »
    Might I request a review for my latest mission, "Alliances and Alignments"? It's been published for a few days now, but it hasn't received any ratings. Kind of sad...

    Thank you! :)

    Federation Mission - Alliances and Alignments
    Author: admirison
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HCJ2IS7ST


    Report Start


    Summary: This is a good combination grind and story mission. The map designs are good with several challenging battles throughout and well written story dialogue. If you like a good combination of long, tough battles and good story dialogue then I would recommend this mission to you, although not on Elite level.

    Below I mentioned I recommended changing the interact dialogue to be triggered dialogue. While this is not actually an issue it should be considered by authors as an alternative. If the dialogue is not required for the player to complete the mission then they do not have to trigger the dialogue. If they do choose to read the dialogue and it is not needed as a reminder of something then it will disappear after it is completed. This removes the multitude of interact icons on the mini-map and the compass.

    One last thought on the dialogue portion of this mission. Since this is a heavy battle oriented mission combined with a story you should consider giving the player the ability to summarize each line of dialogue. To do this I recommend adding a "Skip Dialogue" button which provides the player with a summary of the specific information they need to carry on with the mission.

    Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

    Mission Description: This is a well written description but needs a little more story to draw the player in and make them want to click the 'Hail' button. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

    Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

    Mission Task: Consider adding the sector block to the initial task. This will help the player find your mission start point. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

    Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this entry prompt.

    MAPS:
    Gobodo System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

    Gobodo Station: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -This is not necessarily an actual issue but more of a preference. Consider changing the interact dialogue to be triggered dialogue. From this point forward I will note the maps where I see it and will cover this more in depth in the summary above.

    Garid System: This is a good map design with several challenging battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

    Garid Surface: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

    Salleroy System: This is a good map design with several challenging battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

    Starbase 877: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -Interact dialogue vice be triggered dialogue.

    Ravio System: This is a good map design with several challenging battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

    Ravio Surface: This is a good map design with several challenging battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -Consider changing the map name to "Ravio Command Center".
    -Consider moving the enemy mobs away from the spawn point. It makes it difficult to read the initial dialogue once you spawn if you are being immediately engaged.
    -When talking to Ambassador Qa'caQ towards the end of the map he does not appear behind the force field. There is a bat'leth there but I do not see the Ambassador.

    Ravio Orbit: This is a good map design with several good battles and well written story dialogue. It is a good wrap up to the story. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.


    End Report


    Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. While I generally do not like grind missions the addition of the story made it more enjoyable for me. You did a good job developing this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
    Brian

    This critique report also filed 12/29/2013 on forum posting for: "Worlds of the Federation"...now live!
  • nikkojtnikkojt Member Posts: 372 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    Hey-o. I'd like a report for my mission, please.

    Details
    Name: A Personal Favour
    Author: nikkojt
    Minimum Level: 31+
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HAOH6LCA6
    Estimated mission length: Not sure, would place at...maybe 10 minutes?

    Thanks. :)
    I am NikkoJT, Foundry author and terrible player. Follow me!
    There used to be a picture here, but they changed signatures and I can't be bothered to replace it.
  • smokinssoulmatesmokinssoulmate Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    evil70th wrote: »
    Hi SmokinsSoulmate,

    Welcome to the queue. I was able to follow the link and get the name of the mission from your forum posting but it was not included in your request for a review. Just to be sure is the name of this mission "Cube 571"? Your mission is currently 13th in the queue behind BorrowedTune. I will get to the review just as soon as I can.

    Thanks for authoring,
    Brian

    Thank you that is correct and I edited the post here. Sorry about that.
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    nikkojt wrote: »
    Hey-o. I'd like a report for my mission, please.

    Details
    Name: A Personal Favour
    Author: nikkojt
    Minimum Level: 31+
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HAOH6LCA6
    Estimated mission length: Not sure, would place at...maybe 10 minutes?

    Thanks. :)

    Hi nikkojt,

    Thanks for the review request and welcome to the queue. Your mission is currently 13th in the queue behind smokinssoulmate. I will get to your mission as soon as I can.

    Thanks for authoring
    Brian
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    Thank you that is correct and I edited the post here. Sorry about that.

    Thanks for clarifying that for me. You are now 12th in the queue. :)

    Brian
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    eldil1 wrote: »
    Hey there Evil,

    I'll start off by thanking you for all the time you spend on these mission reports. They are a big help.

    With that said, I'd like to add another mission to your queue. I've finally finished "Contact Squared Part 2" and I would really appreciate your feedback.

    I've made a few adjustments in Part 1 (and Part 2) based on your suggestions, so I'm eager to see what you think.

    Thanks in advance...

    Link to my thread

    Mission Name: Contact Squared Part 2
    Author: eldil
    Minimum Level: 41+
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HJID8YSBG
    Estimated Mission Length: 1hour 30 minutes

    In Game Description:

    Federation Mission - Contact Squared Part 2
    Author: eldil
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HJID8YSBG


    Report Start


    Summary: This is a great story and an excellent follow up to the previous mission. The map designs are great, the battles challenging but fun, and the story dialogue is excellent. You executed the stories and linked both missions very well. The mission is long but I was so deep into the story I hardly noticed the time. I have played several Borg oriented missions but this one was simply riveting. I would highly recommend this mission and the previous one to all players, although not on Elite level. I think you will find the normal level enough of a challenge.

    On the "Bozeman Shuttle Bay" map I mention the use of triggered optional dialogue vice NPC interaction dialogue. I usually recommend this for most stories where the optional dialogue is meant to flesh out more of the story but is not required to accomplish the mission. In the case of this map I highly recommend you switch to the triggered dialogue as all the NPC's are gathered in close proximity. The benefit of triggered dialogue for the optional story dialogue is that you can make the prompt disappear after the player interacts with it. You also have the option of leaving triggered dialogue until a specific task is accomplished. This allows the dialogue to stay available for as long as needed and then go away once the player no longer needs it. I think that pretty much covers the use of triggered vice NPC interact dialogue.

    One last thing is the use of the response button "Continue" in dialogue. I will not go into great detail for this as I have covered it so many times in several of my reviews. Everyone knows why it is a pet peeve of mine and why recommend the use of "..." vice "Continue" for the response button. The reason I mention it is because you used it on pretty much every map but you also used "..." on a couple of the maps, which means you edited those response buttons but not the ones with the default "Continue" button. Of course this is just a recommendation for you to change it.

    Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

    Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

    Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue is good but consider changing it to be more like an introduction to the next episode in a series. Something like; "Previously on Contact Squared" and then give the player the option to skip it. Also consider adding the "Skip Intro" throughout the review. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with the grant or follow on dialogue.

    Mission Task: This is a good initial task but consider adding the sector block to the location.

    Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

    MAPS:
    Bozeman Bridge: This is a good map design with challenging but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Continue" in dialogue throughout this map. From this point forward I will note the map and cover it in the summary.

    Bozeman Shuttle Bay: This is a good map design with challenging but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Continue".
    -Consider changing the optional dialogue from NPC interaction to triggered dialogue. I will cover it in the summary.

    Bozeman Engineering: This is a good map design with challenging but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I liked that the puzzle had an easy button. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Continue".

    Bozeman Engineering: This is a good map design with fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I liked the story element and the way you dealt with the fact you cannot re-skin the player. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Continue".

    Garth System: This is a good map design with challenging but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

    Warp Ship Durken: This is a good map design with challenging but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Continue".

    Garth System: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.


    End Report


    Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission and the series. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
    Brian

    This critique report also filed 12/30/2013 on forum posting for: Contact Squared Part 2
  • eldil1eldil1 Member Posts: 39 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    Thank you very much for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed the mission and I appreciate all your feedback.

    I do plan on overhauling the dialogue for both episodes. I've been out of the game during the holidays. Hopefully I can get back in soon to do that... and work on the next installment...

    Thanks again!

    My Missions

    Contact Squared Part 1
    Contact Squared Part 2
    Contact Squared: Tribunal (coming soon)
    Contact Squared: Shadows (coming... not as soon...)
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    eldil1 wrote: »
    Thank you very much for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed the mission and I appreciate all your feedback.

    I do plan on overhauling the dialogue for both episodes. I've been out of the game during the holidays. Hopefully I can get back in soon to do that... and work on the next installment...

    Thanks again!

    As always I am glad I could help. I know how the holidays can interfere with play time for STO. ;)

    Thanks for authoring.
    Brian
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited December 2013
    ncc2099 wrote: »
    I've recently just gotten back into using the Foundry. The first mission that I have ever put together is:

    Title: Odyssey
    ID: ST-HCDFC44WD
    Author: NCC-2099
    Allegiance: Federation
    Any Level
    45 minutes - 1 Hour

    Thanks for taking a look, and I hope that you enjoy!

    Federation Mission - Odyssey
    Author: NCC-2099
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HCDFC44WD


    Report Start


    Summary: This is a nice story concept and will become an excellent mission once you rework some of the story elements. The basic story is good but needs some editing here and there to make it a great mission. Despite these issues I would still recommend this mission to other players. Once you make the necessary changes to the mission I recommend you create a forum posting to help advertise your mission. On the maps below I make some specific recommendations to improve the overall flow of the mission so I will not go into those specific issues in the summary. However here are a few things I recommend for overall improvement of the story.

    A few months ago I posted an Evil70th - Best Practices Paper here in the forums. One of the points I covered in that paper is Map Utilization. To put it simply, just because you can create 10 maps does not mean you should. Some things to consider when developing the mission, is this map really needed to tell the story? Do the elements of this map support the story? Can maps be combined and still tell the story? It does not mean you cannot have extra maps, just be sure they do not detract from the story you are trying to tell.

    One more thing to consider is using effects to dress up a story that the player never sees. For example, you mention the anomaly is self destructing and then end the mission. That is why I recommended adding a final mission map after the NORZON Interior map to wrap up the story. You can do this if you remove the two maps I indicated below to combine the story into the one map. The player gets to see the anomaly destroyed and then reports the final results to Starfleet.

    Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

    Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

    Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue are well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

    Mission Task: Consider adding the start location to include the sector block to the initial task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

    Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

    MAPS:
    Arucanis Space: The map design needs some work. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -Consider changing the ship name REPUBLIC to read Republic. The ships name is not an acronym and does not need to be capitalized. This would also apply to all maps as well as the description and grant dialogue discussed above.
    -Consider moving the either the initial spawn point or the Republic closer to the initial spawn point. The distance from the initial spawn point seems to serve no point to the story. Even if you add tasks for the player to scan the Klingon derelicts along the way the distance is unnecessary.

    Republic Bridge: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

    Republic Engineering Deck P-7: The map design needs some work. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -Consider changing this map to the Great Bloom USS Warwick Interior vice the modified War Games Interior you used. You can place the Turbo Lift at the entrance to the engine room.
    -Consider adding more tasks to the map for the player to complete. If you use the Great Bloom map indicated in the first comment of this map you can have the player move to different consoles to reroute power. As it is you have the player run all the way across the map to do a single task and then run all the way back to leave the map. Also the map you designed with the generic consoles and warp core do not feel like a Federation ship.

    Republic Bridge#2: This is a good map with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -Consider removing the Arucanis Space#2 and Republic Bridge#3 maps and keep the player on this map. The Arucanis Space#2 battles are unnecessary to the story and could be handled on the current map with dialogue and effects. Specifically you could have the players ship report the battle progress with shaking effects. Then the player's ship reports the appearance of the anomaly. This would make the Republic Bridge#3 map unnecessary and all that dialogue could be on this map. That would allow you to run the entire story from this map until the Shuttlecraft map.

    Arucanis Space#2: This is map is unnecessary to the story of the mission. Consider removing it and incorporating the dialogue and effects as indicated in the Republic Bridge#2 map comments. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

    Republic Bridge#3: This is map is unnecessary to the story of the mission. Consider removing it and incorporating the dialogue as indicated in the Republic Bridge#2 map comments. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

    Shuttlecraft: This is a good map design with a lot of potential. The only story dialogue is the map transfer dialogue. Consider adding more dialogue regarding the U.S.S. Republic ramming the anomaly. Also consider adding some tasks where the player tries to prevent the shuttle from crashing. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with the single line of dialogue.

    Shipwrecked: This is a good map design with some simple battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -Consider moving the objectives closer to the initial spawn point. The tasks are spread too far across the map. The distance feels unnecessary to the story.

    Arucanis Space#3: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. . I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -Consider moving the anomaly closer to the spawn point.
    -Consider removing the interference that makes the shields go down and the maps filled with static. It adds nothing to the story and makes it harder to find NORZON to Open Communications.

    NORZON Interior: This is a good map design with some simple battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The story seems to end abruptly on this map. Consider adding one additional map so the player can see the anomaly destroyed. Then add dialogue to wrap up the story. Perhaps have the player report their findings to Starfleet.


    End Report


    Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. As I said before, this is a good story concept and with a little work it can become a great mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
    Brian
  • logitech007logitech007 Member Posts: 148 Arc User
    edited January 2014
    Hello Evil70th, I am back to get an detailed mission review from you.

    Thank you so much in advance for it.
    thanks
    Logitech007

    Mission Name: The Unexpected Returns Part One
    Author: Logitech007
    Minimum Level: 16+
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HBSU3YYKC
    Estimated Mission Length: 45- 1hour---give or take

    Thanks again.
    Logitech007
    Logitech007
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited January 2014
    Hello Evil70th, I am back to get an detailed mission review from you.

    Thank you so much in advance for it.
    thanks
    Logitech007

    Mission Name: The Unexpected Returns Part One
    Author: Logitech007
    Minimum Level: 16+
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HBSU3YYKC
    Estimated Mission Length: 45- 1hour---give or take

    Thanks again.
    Logitech007

    Hi Logitech,

    Welcome back to the queue. Your mission is 12th in the queue behind nikkojt. I will be continuing the queue review this weekend.

    Thanks for authoring,
    Brian
  • logitech007logitech007 Member Posts: 148 Arc User
    edited January 2014
    Hello Evil70th, I am back to get an detailed mission review from you for part two.

    Thank you so much in advance for it.
    thanks
    Logitech007

    Mission Name: The Unexpected Returns Part Two
    Author: Logitech007
    Minimum Level: 16+
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HCHMV3CNC
    Estimated Mission Length: 30- 45min---give or take

    Thanks again.
    Logitech007
    Logitech007
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited January 2014
    Hello Evil70th, I am back to get an detailed mission review from you for part two.

    Thank you so much in advance for it.
    thanks
    Logitech007

    Mission Name: The Unexpected Returns Part Two
    Author: Logitech007
    Minimum Level: 16+
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HCHMV3CNC
    Estimated Mission Length: 30- 45min---give or take

    Thanks again.
    Logitech007

    Hi Logitech,

    This mission is currently 13th in the queue behind your part one of this series. I will get to both missions as soon as I can.

    Thanks for authoring,
    Brian
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited January 2014
    ncc2099 wrote: »
    I have seen a lack of TOS style missions, which for me as a huge TOS fan are the most fun. I am putting together a series of TOS missions in an effort to familiarize myself with the Foundry, and to entertain other fans like myself. The first in this series is meant to set the stage for the others:

    Title: STQ - Star Trek: Quantum
    ID: ST-HOBR3JFDC
    Author: NCC-2099
    Allegiance: Federation
    Level: 16+
    45 minutes - 1 Hour

    Thanks for taking a look, and I hope that you enjoy!

    Federation Mission - STQ - Star Trek: Quantum
    Author: NCC-2099
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HOBR3JFDC


    Report Start


    Summary: This is a nice twist on the time travelling theme as I have played in several other missions. Essentially this is not a standard time travel mission and without giving any spoilers here I believe players will enjoy it. The map designs are great, the battles are fun, and the story dialogue is excellent. I would highly recommend this mission to other players and look forward to the next installment in the series.

    I did note the issue with the initial spawn point locations on a couple of the maps. When designing the map you need to consider the location of all the spawn points in relation to the mission objectives and other interactions, if any, along the way. Having the player fly or run half way across a map to engage an enemy or interact with the next element of the mission can be annoying. The placement of mission objectives in relation to each other is crucial to bring the player to the next objective in the mission.

    One last thing to consider is the description. It is not just your mission description but several of them I have reviewed in the past. The description of the mission is the first thing the player sees when deciding what missions to play. If the description is too short or vague they will most likely pass over it. If it is an exact duplicate of the grant dialogue they may not 'Accept' the mission. Finding the balance to provide just enough of the story to entice the player to click the 'Hail' button but not give too much away can be a challenge. There are a multitude of time travel missions from the Foundry. Why should I choose your mission to play over any others? I have player your mission so I know why but that is not enough. As I said above the mission is well worth the play but my review by itself is not enough. You need to develop a description that will draw the player into the mission and want to play it. Finally you should develop a forum posting to advertise your mission series. ;)

    Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

    Mission Description: The description needs a little more about the story to draw the player in and make them want to click the 'Hail' button. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

    Grant Mission Dialogue: This dialogue is well written and serves to draw the player in and make them want to click the 'Accept' button. The description above should not be a copy of the grant dialogue but it should be as in depth as this dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

    Mission Task: This is a good initial mission task but consider adding the sector block. This will make it easier for the player to find the start location of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this initial task.

    Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

    MAPS:
    Beta Lateri: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -Consider moving the spawn point closer to the next map change.
    -Consider adding additional information regarding the Romulan fire teams that appear to be on the station. The assumption that the scientist are in trouble just because the Romulans are onboard the station does not feel as if it flows with the story to this point.

    Beta Lateri Research Lab: This is a good map design with fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -Consider placing the enemy mob closest to the initial spawn point a little farther back in the room. I was reading the dialogue when they started to fire at my away team.
    -Consider changing the Meng Shar NPC interact button to read "Talk to Terrorist Leader" since at that point the player would not know his name.

    Battle Above Beta Lateri: This is a good map design with a fun battle and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

    Gorath 2266: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -Consider moving the spawn point closer to the next map change.

    Gorath 2266 Surface: This is a good map design with a fun battle and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

    Battle Above Gorath 2266: This is a good map design with a challenging but fun battle and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

    Alternate Space: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

    Alternate Earth: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue and an excellent wrap up for this mission in the series. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.


    End Report


    Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission and I am definitely looking forward to the next installment in the series. So get back to work on it. :) I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
    Brian
  • creamyzombiecreamyzombie Member Posts: 148 Arc User
    edited January 2014
    Hello, I'd very much appreciate you trying my mission if you have the time:

    Mission Name: Futility
    Author: @elzombie
    Minimum Level: 41+
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HDZVFBBD2
    Estimated Mission Length: Took me around 45 minutes, without the hidden surprises (there's only six so don't waste too much time looking for them!)

    I hope you enjoy playing it as much as I enjoyed making it.
  • voporakvoporak Member Posts: 5,621 Arc User
    edited January 2014
    Mission: Time's Eye
    Faction: Fed
    Author: voporak
    ID: ST-HN4LHQZHT

    Sequal to Of Terror and Darkness. It's currently still in production, but by the time it gets its turn to be reviewed it'll be done, with bugs hammered out. :)
    I ask nothing but that you remember me.
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