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Neverwinter Jokers and Jesters Wanted!

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  • marokkrellmarokkrell Member Posts: 42 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    A drawven fighter, human cleric, halfling rogue, and elven wizard are sitting at bar and talking about all there adventure's they had and the many, many beast of evil they all have slayed. The drawf stands up and holds out his mug of ale and says.

    "Here's to me and here to you, friends we may always be, but at first we don't agree then heck with you and here's to me"
    "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."

    ~Napoleon Bonaparte
  • rengetsu08rengetsu08 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 44
    edited May 2013
    A Halfling bard and Khelgar Ironfist are drinking in a tavern.

    The Halfling ask Khelgar if he likes to hear a joke?

    Khelgar:
    Okay then let me hear it!
    Halfling:
    what is the current name of the Gauntlet of Ironfist?
    Khelgar:
    It's still called Gauntlet of Ironfist..
    Halfling:
    NO your wrong, It's now called the Lost Gauntlet. Hahahaha

    So Khelgar started another tavern brawl... hoping that this halfling is the one who stole the Gauntlet.

    p.s. sorry for bad english just want to share...
    Half-Elf Devoted Cleric-Divine Oracle Build, Powers and Feats:V1.0, V2.0
  • dracanos2013dracanos2013 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    What did the 100 sided dice say to the other?

    1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59,60,61,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69,70,71,72,73,74,75,76,77,78,79,80,81,82,83,84,85,86,87,88,89,90,92,92,93,94,95,96,97,98,99,100!
  • iliftilift Member Posts: 4 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Half-orces are so ugly, their portrets hang themselves!
  • psomaster437psomaster437 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 4 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    They sayed i could be anything i wanted, so i became a Demonic Cleric Healer.
  • shuluthshuluth Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Two adventurers A half-orc and an elf are on a quest to kill some undead in the local cemetery they enter the cemetery were a creepy ominous fog has obscured everything, so they climb to the top of a hill in the center of the place, and down the other side of the hill is a whole army of undead.
    The elf says, by the gods that's terrifying! The half-orc says, you think that's terrifying? When I kill all of them I'm going to have to walk back to town through that fog alone.
  • a6ninjaa6ninja Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    A Halfling walks into the tavern and approaches the tender and says "One pint m'boy for the numb'n, my teef are killing me, must've eaten some rocks in m'sleep, I just cant get over this pain." The Tender then replies with a large grin on his face "I guess that makes you a Teifling!"
  • versonicversonic Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Want to know the biggest Dungeons & Dragons joke?

    The movie.
  • tanzy2tanzy2 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Reasons you should never make a gnome angry: they have gnomercy.
  • knightnight2knightnight2 Member Posts: 11 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    There was a young elf from Myth Drannor
    Who had a most arrogant manner
    But when he gave a rude sneer
    To a dwarf engineer
    He was hit in the head with a spanner
  • iliftilift Member Posts: 4 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Erulo the half-orc said: '' I am friends with 25 letters of the alphabet! I just don't know why... ''.
  • penultimatepainpenultimatepain Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Why did the rogue cross the road?

    To attack from the other side.
  • psomaster437psomaster437 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 4 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Why did the cleric cross the road? To get away from the agro.
  • crazyddawgcrazyddawg Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Neverwinter..... Neverwinter...... when is it going to be Summerever???
  • aft3rmath3raseraft3rmath3raser Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 5 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    A minotaur, three priestesses of Sune, a drow slave, a halfling in a chicken suit, and a dozen ducks walk into a bar. The bartender looks up at them and asks "What is this, a joke?"
  • rawsome83rawsome83 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Silverstars Posts: 27 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Why do dwarves have big nostrils? ...Because they've got big fingers.
    Mayor of herp derp town.
  • asakochanasakochan Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 3 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    And in our group there was a Dragons geek
    His skin was white, and his body was weak
    But what he lacked in strength and body mass
    He made up for in knowledge of Wee Jas.
    He warned the others about her powers
    His truthful teaching went on for hours.
    After he was done, the Pardoner said,
    “You and I are brothers, my good friend!”
    “Dear sir, are you accusing me of lies?
    I swear to Vecna my words have no ties
    They are free and true, Nerull strike me down.
    You say we are brothers? To that I frown.”
    There is no loyal a man than the geek.
    Just ask the elves, orcs, or dwarves: they’ll shriek
    And talk of his goodness and vast wisdom
    Surpassing that of a silver dragon.
    Even Erythnul will show him pardon
    For his path has been chosen by Fharlanghn.
    He is destined to help those most in need,
    To spread the word and sew the seed
    Of Gods and Goddesses seated most high,
    Which can be hard, since he hardly sees sky.
  • jilkorathjilkorath Member Posts: 27 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    The adventurers thought they came prepared, but were unaware,
    the goblins had a high AC, upon which they couldn't see;
    the shivers echoed as they krept along in chainlinked vests,
    the adventurers swore they packed their winters best, along with flint for fires rest,
    the shivers grew, they froze with fright, the AC in this goblins lair was blasting forth with cold air through the night.

    Why did the cleric cross the road?

    Because it's his duty as a man of the faith.
  • sirravenwolfsirravenwolf Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Question: Whats the biggest problem with any desert?

    Answer: its Neverwinter.
  • bmazbmaz Member Posts: 14 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    The problem with dwarf's is that they're in short supply.
  • bmazbmaz Member Posts: 14 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Why is it so hard to insult a dwarf?

    Because it just goes over their heads.
  • maximiliousmaximilious Member Posts: 54 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    There were 1 GF, 1 GWF, 1 Cleric, 1 CW, 1 Rogue... GF and GWF got kicked out of the party for another CW and Rogue!

    Hilarious!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • roxfenrirroxfenrir Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Q: What do you call an orc with two brain cells?
    A: Pregnant.
  • bmazbmaz Member Posts: 14 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    What do hobbits get when they die?

    Hobbituaries.
  • harmlesspiharmlesspi Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Back in my day Magic Missile was a Daily!
  • pcinderflamepcinderflame Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    No profanity whatsoever? What about Profane Runestones?
  • redvipperredvipper Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    the best joke yet is " A dwarf walks out of the bar sober.
  • chaoticdragonreignchaoticdragonreign Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Did you hear the one about the Dwarf walking past the pub?.......It could happen.
  • tlariatlaria Member Posts: 10 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    The knight returned to King Neverember's castle with prisoners, bags of gold and other riches from his victories.

    "Tell me of your battles," said the king.

    "Well, sire, I have been robbing and stealing on your behalf for weeks, burning all of the villages of your enemies in the north."

    The king was horrified. "But I have no enemies in the north," he said.

    "Well," said the knight, "you do now."
  • beyd1beyd1 Member Posts: 4 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Why was the Dwarf Sweating? 'Cause It's Never winter 'round here.
This discussion has been closed.