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Forums > Home› Neverwinter Discussion › General Discussion (PC)

Neverwinter Jokers and Jesters Wanted!

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  • kelathkelath Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    How do you call a gnome that was crushed in an avalanche? SHORT CAKE
  • xxmantaraxxxxmantaraxx Member Posts: 362 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    From pen n' paper to keyboard n' mouse, My nat-20 will still ruin your day.

    Ara Atheanes GWF
    Traxus Atheanes GF
    Bastiel Atheanes DC
    Ellara Atheanes CW
    Keira Atheanes TR
    Sarasin Atheanes SW
    Jerkface McGee HR
    -MANTARA- OP
  • kelathkelath Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Lightning Rail train full of orcs crashes...do you know what is the biggest tragedy? THERE WERE TWO EMPTY SEATS.
  • kelathkelath Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    What is one gnome on the bottom of sea? An idea. What are all on the bottom of sea? Solution.
  • ashielashiel Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    A new Nightmare shows up at the Shaundakul Stables. A Palomino walks up to the Nightmare and says "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"
  • cephellocephello Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    What did the beholder say to the doppleganger?

    I got my eyes on yous!
  • falkeoejefalkeoeje Member Posts: 4 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    A human Guardian fighter, an Elf Control wizard and a dwarven Devoted cleric walks into a bar and the bartender says;"Is this some kind of joke?"
  • inf0dexinf0dex Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    What is the most prevalent atomic element that can be found in Neverwinter?

    Kobold(t)!
  • jellygishjellygish Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Where does Elminster go after a long day of wizarding? Back to rest in his Manshoon.
  • phstiephstie Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    After nearly drowning, by falling from your sinking ship, you had met multiple people. However this one took the cake, for when you walked up to the gentleman kneeling and asked what had happened to the Draconic.

    He looked up into your face and with tears streaming down his, he let out a loud sob. "He took an arrow to the knee!", he squalled.
  • thedoctor102thedoctor102 Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    A cleric and a warrior are out camping, the warrior says, "Look up and tell me what you see."
    The cleric says "I see a beautiful sky, the soft moon held up there with the glittering stars."
    The warrior says "Do you know what it all means?"
    The cleric answers "Maybe it means every dot of light is a sun much like our own and around those suns may be planets like ours, and maybe there is life on those planets we haven't considered."
    The warrior looks at the cleric and says, "No you idiot, it means someone stole our tent."
  • wickedtheunclewickedtheuncle Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    There's spring, summer and fall but Neverwinter
  • dhakka242dhakka242 Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Two humans walk into a bar, the halfling walks under it.
  • dhakka242dhakka242 Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Bravo, my good sir. Bravo.
  • circlebreaker0circlebreaker0 Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Two Gnolls are having a discussion.
    -Woof!
    -Woof, Woof!
    -Don't change the subject
  • kelathkelath Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    There are hundreds of dead gnomes on the streets, what happened? Somebody ran out of arrows....
  • mrbuttflakesmrbuttflakes Member Posts: 407 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    A Dragon flies over Neverwinter and see's a dwarven female and chuckles to himself. He circles then grunts and strains in midair releasing a Flaming hershey kiss that land on the dwarven female checking her auctions.

    The dragon cackles and says "Be thankful...you look and smell a lot better now."
  • brythsanabrythsana Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Excuse me sir, what season is it in Neverwinter?

    Why Summer of course!
  • applecrowapplecrow Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Two adventurers came across a magical well. They discussed it and came to the conclusion that it must be a wishing well. One stepped forward, took a drink, and began to make his wish...

    Dungeon Master: You fall over dead.

    "No Problem" says the second adventurer. "I got this. I step up to the well, take a drink, and say "I wish this really was a wishing well!"
  • neonpigneonpig Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    -What do goblins do when you are not arround?
    -Nothing, their only purpose in life is run after intruders

    -Why did the Orcs enter a stable?
    -To pray for "Groom-ish"

    -How many Orcs do you need to change a lamp's oil?
    -Two tribes, they will fight over the oil and make a weightlifting contest to decide whoever keeps it

    -What's the Beholder's favorite food?
    - "Eyes-cream"

    -What did the Kobold told to the Barbarian?
    -Could you let go of my tail please?

    What did one imp told to the other when he saw a rogue?
    -Beware of the Rogu....
    (and the other answered):
    -Beware of wha...?

    -What did the Epic Dungeon boss told to the Guardian Fighter?
    -Could you teach me how to be immortal?
  • slithaslitha Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero Users Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Never take a pretty cleric into the dungeon...

    "Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder"
  • kelathkelath Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    What do you call deformed orc corpse nailed to a wall? An art.

    Guards are walking, patrolling the streets, when all of sudden they see orc corpse, without any limbs, with knives in the eyes sockets and they say "What a horrible suicide"
  • arimaibasarimaibas Member Posts: 10 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Biggest joke in Neverwinter: A turtle GF. 
    Class guardian extends fighter{
    var threat = 0;
    var dps = 5;
    var usefulnessInEndgame = 0;

    function main(){
        if(!dead){ die(); }
     }
}
  • munedarmunedar Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Never fear good citizens of Neverwinter!

    For I have aided everyone from the meekest of peasants, to the most lordliest of kings.

    For I have saved everyplace from the tiniest of villages, to the most enormous of cities.

    For I have fought everything from the smallest of goblins, to the most towering of dragons.

    For I am...

    "HONEY, IT'S TIME TO GO! WE'RE LATE! YOU KNOW HOW YOUR PARENTS ARE WHEN WE ARE LATE TO MEET THEM! AND DID I MENTION I -HATE- BEING LATE AS WELL?"

    Married.

    And I am officially in the most direst of troubles.

    P.S.
    Please send someone to save me.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    (I didn't see anything on the rules about multiple entries, so hopefully it's alright to have more than one!)

    In the tower district, currently being overrun by the Many Arrow Orcs, a new recruit has just experienced his first fray with the orcs at the Neverwinter Guard Post...

    Sergeant Creed: "You seem to be holding up well, recruit. Most can't stomach their first fight on this scale."

    Recruit: "Sir! Yes, sir. I'm a recruit to the Neverwinter Guard, but not to fighting."

    Sergeant Creed: "Ah. I see. So what is with the grin?"

    Recruit: "Well, you see sir. Before the fight, I was wondering why they were called the Many Arrow Orcs. I figured they must have quite a lot of archers. But I see know that assumption was wrong. Quite wrong actually, sir. They have no archers at all, just those silly axe throwers. But now I know what it means."

    Sergeant Creed: "And that is?"

    Recruit: "Well, sir. It's obvious they call themselves Many Arrow Orcs, because they 'collect' many arrows every time they charge a defensive position."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A wizard and a barbarian are about to enter a cave to deal with a group of orcs...

    Wizard: "I know it's not your strong point, but be careful ahead. Don't get yourself killed."

    Barbarian: "Stop yer worrying magey. I'm too stupid to die."

    Wizard : "Your words, not mine. But I agree with them."
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ulgrimmarulgrimmar Member Posts: 4 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    "We killed the dragon! We killed the Dragon! We ... we're never going to have girlfriends, are we?"
  • axiamaxiam Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    A magician walks down the street in Neverwinter and turns into a Tavern.
  • ulgrimmarulgrimmar Member Posts: 4 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Hey baby, if you were a book you'd be the Players Handbook - a lot of rules in the front, a lot of magic in the back.
  • ulgrimmarulgrimmar Member Posts: 4 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Q. What do you call a gnome with a yeast infection?

    A. A quarterpounder with cheese
  • ulgrimmarulgrimmar Member Posts: 4 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    "You guys hear about the vegetarian ogre? He only eats wood elves."

    "Two elves walked into a bar. Now there's a Bar Elf sub-race."
  • xoranxoran Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    A devoted cleric, a great weapon fighter, a control wizard, and a guardian fighter all walk into a bar. They order 5 drinks.

    The four of them pick up their drinks, leaving the fifth drink by itself next to an empty seat.

    I was a bit woozy from the whiskey, and seeing this, couldn't help but laugh. I staggered over to them and started making some jokes about their "invisible friend"...

    Next thing I knew, I was down on the floor seeing stars in front of my eyes. Someone helped me up and said "think about the ONE guy that's missing in this set... the one that likes to hide..."
This discussion has been closed.