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Forums > Home› Neverwinter Discussion › General Discussion (PC)

Neverwinter Jokers and Jesters Wanted!

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  • tompatompa Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    This is a snippet from a quest text from my foundy project. It's the start of a conversation between a talking pig, and you.

    Your lines are bolded


    (‘Oijnk! Where’d you come from?’)

    ‘What the I]Oijnk[/I?! A human, materialising right in front of my eyes? I’m going mad!’
    ‘You’re going mad? You’re a talking pig!’
    ‘Yeah, what of it? I’ll have you know my diction is flawless. “Two tiefling thieves, tried to test their luck. They scoured through throngs, and laugher and songs, to take for themselves a few bucks.” See?’
    ‘That wasn’t what I—’
    ‘Words can hurt you know. I]Oijnk..[/I Anyway, your bed is gone.’
    ‘My bed?’

    (The Pig continues to read the poem)

    ‘"Together, they thought, thiefing was fun; parting them would be a crime! Through tiring tests, they proved who’s the best, and both now live on through this rhyme.’"
  • zaneyzeiannezaneyzeianne Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 7 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    How many Devs does it take to change a light bulb?

    None, it's working as intended.
    Wizard.jpg
  • theairockstartheairockstar Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    A guardian fighter & a cleric are fighting side by side. The Guardian fighter fighting to keep the mobs on him. All of the mobs decide to attack the healer after he casts astral shield the cleric dies and the mob of monsters continues to attack his corpse while the guardian fighter stomps.
  • kierahawkekierahawke Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    A common scene in a Neverwinter bar: it's filled almost to overflowing with the downtrodden, as the patrons all talk about the hardships of living in Neverwinter and trying to rebuild it amidst the evils that seem to permeate every part of the city. Suddenly, someone yells "Everyone, RUN! Hogun the horrible is coming, and he only needs 2 more XP to make it to level 47!"
  • darkstarfiredarkstarfire Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Ok so there is a GF, a CW, a cleric and a half-elf TR that go adventuring in a cave. They get to the cave trying to decide how to approach it. The TR gets board and yells out "Hello!!! Any one home??" Then high tails it the other way as a horde of goblins come at the group. Laughing as she runs away she calls back at the group" Trick is on you!"

    (Yes when I first started playing pen and paper D&D, I had a half-elf rogue that did this to the group.)
  • joominjoomin Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    ** Never play leapfrog with a Tiefling ** trust me..
  • kinetiquekinetique Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    What is an adventurers' favourite type of music? ...Lute Music

    How do you know if a Tiefling is happy to see you? ... He wags his tail

    Why did the party fail their maths exam? ... They couldn't deal with the adds

    Buddhist players always seem to have the most Zen

    My Teifling is a tailor but he can't make anything to cover his tail :(
  • derrigderrig Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    On a party adventure..

    The Rogue turns to his party on seeing something the rest did not, and says "Guys whats big and round, floats, has one massive eye and many eyes on little tentacles?"
    The wizard replies "A Beholder, why?"
    "No reason" answers the rogue and legs it, to the sound of mayhem behind him.
  • ferrywellferrywell Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Do you like the weather? Seems like it is always summer in NeverWinter!
  • sayian71sayian71 Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    "Meal mush and goats milk", swore Sergeant Knox.

    "How does Sergeant Knox look at two adventurers standing in front of him?"
    "He turns."
    "Sounds exhausting."
  • cosmoliciouscosmolicious Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    well... do you know this guy? http://www.stupidgifs.com/images/full/479.gif
  • time4bacontime4bacon Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    "My dragon has no noes"
    How does it smell?
    "terrible"
  • sakkakusakkaku Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    sry double posted
  • maxgiovannimaxgiovanni Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    "Rebles have overtaken Blacklake, the Tower District is teaming with orcs, necromancers are raising the dead in Neverdeath, and the chasm is full of demons."

    "Most folk would call that a disaster. Those of us called to Adventure call it Tuesday..."
  • omegafiveomegafive Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    How many Wizards does it take to light a torch?
    1
    How many Savages does it take?
    2 – One to hold the wizard while the other beats him till he casts a flame spell.
    Bonus – How many Rogues does it take? Just one but a Cleric needs to be close by to Rez…
  • bulletproofgunbulletproofgun Member Posts: 3 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    How many D&D players does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Depends on how many fail their INT check.
  • ashielashiel Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    A Heavy Nightmare Inferno walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?"
  • covencoven Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    "Line" for picking up female Dungeons & Dragons players/fans: Excuse me paramour, it might just be some sort of enchantment which eludes my senses, but your hotness is starting to overcome my fire resistance!:p:rolleyes:
  • kiedisticelixer2kiedisticelixer2 Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Have you seen that gorgeous female orc?
    ...
    Neither have I!
  • kelathkelath Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Beautiful lady walked to a wizard and told him "Is that wand in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

    The servers went down for maintenance before wizard could respond.
  • pureknight3pureknight3 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Two horses want to race and see who is fastest
    They ask a direwolf to be the judge
    So the horses race and the direwolf says that the black horse won by a nose
    The white horse wants to race again seeing as he was so close to winning
    So they race again and this time the direwolf says the white horse won by just a nose.
    Of course now they need to do a tie breaker race
    They both take off and run as fast as they can and the direwolf says that the black horse just barely won again
    The horses thank the direwolf and the white horse says "Thanks for judging but I didn't think direwolves could talk .
  • kelathkelath Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Did you hear about that Dwarf barbarian? He had short temper.
  • burningkromeburningkrome Member Posts: 3 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    You know you have a bad DM, when your players ask, "What is a pantheon, and why is it mad at me?"
  • knitsnbikesknitsnbikes Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    How many drow does it take to change a light bulb? Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to use her chaotic alignment to cause the world to do a 180.
  • ashfalt9ashfalt9 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Oldie but goldie.
    The standard party consists of 1d4 + 1 people, pretending to like each other long enough to start drama over loot
  • exoranexoran Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    A Cleric and a Jamaican Paladin are stuck at sea in a canoe.

    Cleric "how come im the only one using these dam ores?"

    Jamaican Paladin "Cause I dont like paddling and I am staring at the bottom of the sea!"

    Cleric "If you don't start "Paladin" these ores your gonna be "Jamaican" your way to the bottom of the sea!
  • kelathkelath Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    You know your ranger isn't brightest when he jumps into a lake for a swim in his armour, rolls 1, almost drowns, and first thing he does when his allies rescue him, is that he jumps into the lake again in his armour.

    (Yes this happened to me and I was the ranger)
  • jhenoxjhenox Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    A rock golem and a beholder are trying to figure out a problem. Who solves it?

    The beholder! The rock golem is set in stone but the beholder can look at it from multiple angles.

    An original from me!
  • scampthebardscampthebard Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    There once was a half-orc named Marming
    Whose manners were much less than charming.
    He attacked an elf city
    Where the girls are so pretty
    And left without doing much harming.
  • deiserdeiser Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    What did the guard say to the deadbeat undead still living in his parents basement?

    "Stop lich-ing off your parents".
This discussion has been closed.