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Broken Replicator

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  • alexmakepeacealexmakepeace Member Posts: 10,633 Arc User
    You get a Robinson Crusoe's clone. He immediately has a mental breakdown about being stranded on an island and being a clone. Even though he's not on an island.

    Computer, signed orders of impeachment for You-Know-Who.
  • admiralnatadmiralnat Member Posts: 22,432 Arc User
    The replicator provides signed orders to impeach President Aennik Okeg.

    Computer, a miniature model of Earth's moon.
    2jwMZnF.gif
    Winning.
    It's what I do. It's what I just did. It's what I'm about to do again. It's being undisputed emperor of an empire that cannot be disproved as the most powerful intergalactic empire in the entire universe; I always win, and everything I've won will definitely be won again... by me. It's my signature move, and thus, it's my signature. Problem, Sonic? Yeah, I mean you, Sonic, because you're being beat up, despite your being super. You can't even hit Shadow back, can you? Nope, he's too strong for you. Of course, I'm not Shadow, I'm the Super Emerald fueled fox that's pulling the strings; trust me, the fight would only be a few frames long if I were in it personally. Oh, and here's something for all you guys thinking you can win Last Post Wins 3.0; trust me, I'll be around a long while after the sun has already consumed the Earth while I sit out with the forum servers on Titan. Yes, I mean Titan... that comparatively little moon orbiting Saturn. It's a nice little place in a version of our solar system where the sun is a lot bigger. I mean, Mars will last longer than your precious Earth, but by then, it'll be one hot planet... and I figure Saturn's moon will be about the right temperate for a super-powered warlord. Oh, and trust me, I packed a lot of rings, and I mean a lot. Trillions, in fact, so I'll never run out of rings to power my super form. Besides, if I start to run out, I can just chaos control more rings into my reach. It's quite easy, really. You should try it. Granted, you'll never have the 7 Super Emeralds that I have in my possession, nor the Master Emerald that I've got hidden away somewhere... absorbed into my body thanks to Sonic logic, but whatever. I win. Again. I'm not kidding, either. Just check Last Post Wins, and if the last post isn't mine, it soon will be. Very, very soon. You can count on it. Seriously. By the way, if you're wondering, there's a really great Super Tails sprite sheet out there... somewhere... by some guy named shadow_91. These sprites are really great. Like, really good. Quality. Just like what I like to see in a sprite sheet. Also, credit to Joe T.E., his Sonic Battle style Super Sonic sprites have a great palette for a Super Sonic being beat up by Super Shadow, who's palette is from a Super Shadow sheet of unknown origin, but it turns out they were "borrowed" from a better sheet made by a certain Domenico. Oh, and the gif is actually a custom made super version of a similar gif, of which there are only 3 or 4 copies to be found by Google, and even then, evidently of an unknown source. Yep, it's one of those things. Stuff people have made, spread around, only for it to vanish and you to be the only person who still has a copy, not even knowing where it came from... like, literally at all. Oh, and anyone notice that Shadow's little chaos snap blast thingies are red and blue now? Yeah, I changed it. Problem, fans of purple? Yeah, I know you got a problem with that one, but you can just deal with it. After all, according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly... alright, alright, I'll spare you the entire Bee Movie script, just Google it if you want. By the way, ever wonder how your characters would've ended up if they evolved in another universe? Yeah, that. Think about it. Ok, so you probably didn't bother reading up to here, but whatever, here's a surprise for you guys over at ESD (RP) who were crazy enough to read this: Emperor Nat of the mcfreakin' Terran Empire is gonna be right all along! The universe is gonna go BOOM! *Thumbs up to the insanity*
    Oh, now don't tell me you want in on all this! Well, ok. Look this that Egg Pawn hanging outside your window, pointing his laser rifle at you, waiting for my next order. He's doing his part. He helps conquer the weak-minded. He roboticizes the weak-bodied. Heck, he even helps keep the useless people from causing any trouble, but you know what? Join. Find the closest Nataran Empire roboticization center near you and join the ranks, before the ranks find you. Oh, I know, you figure it must be so satisfying to know I basically rule the world now, and you know what? It is, but do you want to know the true definition of satisfaction? Well, let me tell you a little story. One day, you see a brand new event. They're giving out boxes that give old event stuff. Your dilithium is plentiful. You buy a whole lot of Phoenix packs on your main, and open them all. You get one epic token. Then, you decide, that since you have all the Breen ships and don't give a damn about the others, you exchange it for an ultra rare, and grab yourself a Jem'Hadar Attack Ship and for the hell of it, a Voth Bulwark. You open both, leaving the Bulwark in your vast masses of starships as you jump into the bugship and deck it out, deck by deck, into the most awesome Jem'Hadar ship you can. You fly it. You enjoy it. Eventually, you get bored and leave, leaving the old Bulwark never flown... until later. Your main is long complete. Your new alt main, based off some character you pulled out of nothing just to explain away some starship being in service without the command of your dear admiral, is also complete. Mostly. Their reps and doffs are hard at work, getting you stuff. You realize the potential, and head back for your dear admiral, pull the most Voth themed build you can out of thin air, and suit up in your giant ship in the shape of you know what. You head out... and cause all sorts of havoc. Enemies scream out your name as their very life is drained away by your swarms of Aceton Assimilators. They complain to the devs of your OPness when you revive yourself from death every time you die. Do you show any form of mercy? No. After all, this isn't the United Federation of Planets, this is mother frakkin' Starfleet, where you explore strange new worlds and kick butt never kicked before. Oh, and you realize that I just wrote another speech rivaling your own signature. Cool. Oh, wait, that's just the original draft, it is part of my signature now. Oh, and yes, I am aware that I have become a Canadian Regent; one day, sooner than you'd expect, we'll suddenly decide to take over the world and declare an "alliance", and I shall become it's Regent. You know, like the Klingon-Cardassian Alliance in the mirror universe of our beloved Star Trek. Oh, who'll we be taking over with? I dunno, maybe [REDACTED], or maybe aliens from outer space. Guess you'll have to wait and find out, won't we? Until then, don't ask too many questions, or else my Breen allies on Titania might pick up on your -- [REDACTED BY BREEN CONFEDERACY FOR REASONS] Also, psst... keep an eye out for flying Tribbles! Also walls. Big, great walls, separating entire continents apart. Walls patrolled by Tribbles. Flying Tribbles. Flying Nukara Tribbles. Don't worry, it's not like they were on Venus with a herd of Tholians or anything, they just like the extreme heat and brutal weather like acid rain and hurricane force winds as the norm. Oh, and definitely keep your eye out on any two-tailed foxes, because if they ain't glowing, they're definitely an imposter. Possibly an Undine, we caught one of those once in my place once. Oh, and if you find a two-tailed fox that doesn't like the cold... most certainly ask him to say sorry. If he refuses, DESTROY HIM WITH A DOOMSDAY MACHINE, BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING ELSE THAT WOULD BE ENOUGH AGAINST SUCH AN OVERPOWERED IMPOSTER!

    tr;dr, I am winning last post wins 3.0. Thank you for your time.
    Oh, look, an explosion...
  • jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 9,288 Arc User
    You receive a miniature model of the buttocks of Dylan Carson, founder and only long-term member of the late 20th and early 21st century drone metal band Earth. It's even autographed!

    Computer, a bust of Gustav Mahler.
    Lorna-Wing-sig.png
  • brian334brian334 Member Posts: 2,186 Arc User
    A performance of his First Symphony as performed by the Wilmington High School Marching Band is played on the replicator's annunciation speaker.

    Computer, headache tablets please.
  • zedbrightlander1zedbrightlander1 Member Posts: 14,279 Arc User
    edited October 2018
    A pair of stone tablets appear. Together they offer ten rules to help avoid headaches.

    "Computer, to thine own self be true."
    f5cc65bc8f3b91f963e328314df7c48d.jpg
    Sig? What sig? I don't see any sig.
  • alexmakepeacealexmakepeace Member Posts: 10,633 Arc User
    The computer explodes in a shower of sparks for no reason, and you spend the next few days in sickbay.

    Computer, tools.
  • brian334brian334 Member Posts: 2,186 Arc User
    The replicator transforms into a temporal transporter and beams in Andy TRIBBLE and David Spade.

    Computer, Zefram Cochran's shotgun please.
  • admiralnatadmiralnat Member Posts: 22,432 Arc User
    You receive Zefram Cochrane's shotgun, fully loaded... and firing. The bullet impact is enough to make you fall over.

    Computer, flag of Prussia.
    2jwMZnF.gif
    Winning.
    It's what I do. It's what I just did. It's what I'm about to do again. It's being undisputed emperor of an empire that cannot be disproved as the most powerful intergalactic empire in the entire universe; I always win, and everything I've won will definitely be won again... by me. It's my signature move, and thus, it's my signature. Problem, Sonic? Yeah, I mean you, Sonic, because you're being beat up, despite your being super. You can't even hit Shadow back, can you? Nope, he's too strong for you. Of course, I'm not Shadow, I'm the Super Emerald fueled fox that's pulling the strings; trust me, the fight would only be a few frames long if I were in it personally. Oh, and here's something for all you guys thinking you can win Last Post Wins 3.0; trust me, I'll be around a long while after the sun has already consumed the Earth while I sit out with the forum servers on Titan. Yes, I mean Titan... that comparatively little moon orbiting Saturn. It's a nice little place in a version of our solar system where the sun is a lot bigger. I mean, Mars will last longer than your precious Earth, but by then, it'll be one hot planet... and I figure Saturn's moon will be about the right temperate for a super-powered warlord. Oh, and trust me, I packed a lot of rings, and I mean a lot. Trillions, in fact, so I'll never run out of rings to power my super form. Besides, if I start to run out, I can just chaos control more rings into my reach. It's quite easy, really. You should try it. Granted, you'll never have the 7 Super Emeralds that I have in my possession, nor the Master Emerald that I've got hidden away somewhere... absorbed into my body thanks to Sonic logic, but whatever. I win. Again. I'm not kidding, either. Just check Last Post Wins, and if the last post isn't mine, it soon will be. Very, very soon. You can count on it. Seriously. By the way, if you're wondering, there's a really great Super Tails sprite sheet out there... somewhere... by some guy named shadow_91. These sprites are really great. Like, really good. Quality. Just like what I like to see in a sprite sheet. Also, credit to Joe T.E., his Sonic Battle style Super Sonic sprites have a great palette for a Super Sonic being beat up by Super Shadow, who's palette is from a Super Shadow sheet of unknown origin, but it turns out they were "borrowed" from a better sheet made by a certain Domenico. Oh, and the gif is actually a custom made super version of a similar gif, of which there are only 3 or 4 copies to be found by Google, and even then, evidently of an unknown source. Yep, it's one of those things. Stuff people have made, spread around, only for it to vanish and you to be the only person who still has a copy, not even knowing where it came from... like, literally at all. Oh, and anyone notice that Shadow's little chaos snap blast thingies are red and blue now? Yeah, I changed it. Problem, fans of purple? Yeah, I know you got a problem with that one, but you can just deal with it. After all, according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly... alright, alright, I'll spare you the entire Bee Movie script, just Google it if you want. By the way, ever wonder how your characters would've ended up if they evolved in another universe? Yeah, that. Think about it. Ok, so you probably didn't bother reading up to here, but whatever, here's a surprise for you guys over at ESD (RP) who were crazy enough to read this: Emperor Nat of the mcfreakin' Terran Empire is gonna be right all along! The universe is gonna go BOOM! *Thumbs up to the insanity*
    Oh, now don't tell me you want in on all this! Well, ok. Look this that Egg Pawn hanging outside your window, pointing his laser rifle at you, waiting for my next order. He's doing his part. He helps conquer the weak-minded. He roboticizes the weak-bodied. Heck, he even helps keep the useless people from causing any trouble, but you know what? Join. Find the closest Nataran Empire roboticization center near you and join the ranks, before the ranks find you. Oh, I know, you figure it must be so satisfying to know I basically rule the world now, and you know what? It is, but do you want to know the true definition of satisfaction? Well, let me tell you a little story. One day, you see a brand new event. They're giving out boxes that give old event stuff. Your dilithium is plentiful. You buy a whole lot of Phoenix packs on your main, and open them all. You get one epic token. Then, you decide, that since you have all the Breen ships and don't give a damn about the others, you exchange it for an ultra rare, and grab yourself a Jem'Hadar Attack Ship and for the hell of it, a Voth Bulwark. You open both, leaving the Bulwark in your vast masses of starships as you jump into the bugship and deck it out, deck by deck, into the most awesome Jem'Hadar ship you can. You fly it. You enjoy it. Eventually, you get bored and leave, leaving the old Bulwark never flown... until later. Your main is long complete. Your new alt main, based off some character you pulled out of nothing just to explain away some starship being in service without the command of your dear admiral, is also complete. Mostly. Their reps and doffs are hard at work, getting you stuff. You realize the potential, and head back for your dear admiral, pull the most Voth themed build you can out of thin air, and suit up in your giant ship in the shape of you know what. You head out... and cause all sorts of havoc. Enemies scream out your name as their very life is drained away by your swarms of Aceton Assimilators. They complain to the devs of your OPness when you revive yourself from death every time you die. Do you show any form of mercy? No. After all, this isn't the United Federation of Planets, this is mother frakkin' Starfleet, where you explore strange new worlds and kick butt never kicked before. Oh, and you realize that I just wrote another speech rivaling your own signature. Cool. Oh, wait, that's just the original draft, it is part of my signature now. Oh, and yes, I am aware that I have become a Canadian Regent; one day, sooner than you'd expect, we'll suddenly decide to take over the world and declare an "alliance", and I shall become it's Regent. You know, like the Klingon-Cardassian Alliance in the mirror universe of our beloved Star Trek. Oh, who'll we be taking over with? I dunno, maybe [REDACTED], or maybe aliens from outer space. Guess you'll have to wait and find out, won't we? Until then, don't ask too many questions, or else my Breen allies on Titania might pick up on your -- [REDACTED BY BREEN CONFEDERACY FOR REASONS] Also, psst... keep an eye out for flying Tribbles! Also walls. Big, great walls, separating entire continents apart. Walls patrolled by Tribbles. Flying Tribbles. Flying Nukara Tribbles. Don't worry, it's not like they were on Venus with a herd of Tholians or anything, they just like the extreme heat and brutal weather like acid rain and hurricane force winds as the norm. Oh, and definitely keep your eye out on any two-tailed foxes, because if they ain't glowing, they're definitely an imposter. Possibly an Undine, we caught one of those once in my place once. Oh, and if you find a two-tailed fox that doesn't like the cold... most certainly ask him to say sorry. If he refuses, DESTROY HIM WITH A DOOMSDAY MACHINE, BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING ELSE THAT WOULD BE ENOUGH AGAINST SUCH AN OVERPOWERED IMPOSTER!

    tr;dr, I am winning last post wins 3.0. Thank you for your time.
    Oh, look, an explosion...
  • alexmakepeacealexmakepeace Member Posts: 10,633 Arc User
    The computer picks a flag design it finds suitable for you, namely a white white flag with no markings, and replicates it for you using materials from Prussia.

    Computer, a pen.
  • brian334brian334 Member Posts: 2,186 Arc User
    admiralnat wrote: »
    You receive Zefram Cochrane's shotgun, fully loaded... and firing. The bullet impact is enough to make you fall over.

    I'm out of my misery, but you still have Andy D and David Spade! I win!

    Okay, back to where we were.
  • cmdrscarletcmdrscarlet Member Posts: 5,137 Arc User
    You receive a miniature replicator.

    Computer, Alex's pen.
  • alexmakepeacealexmakepeace Member Posts: 10,633 Arc User
    The replicator makes a wooden corral and places it into your quarters before transporting me into it. Thanks a lot.

    Computer, a key to the gate of this pen.
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,554 Arc User
    edited February 2020
    You get a crate of kiwi.

    Computer, a ham sandwich, please.
    Post edited by hawku001x on
  • zedbrightlander1zedbrightlander1 Member Posts: 14,279 Arc User
    You get William Shatner between to huge slices of bread.

    Computer, exit, please.
    f5cc65bc8f3b91f963e328314df7c48d.jpg
    Sig? What sig? I don't see any sig.
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,554 Arc User
    You get the entrance.

    Computer, a Starbucks latte. STAT!
  • jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 9,288 Arc User
    You receive a PADD listing statistics regarding Starbucks' lattes (number sold per year, varieties, the fact that Starbucks' biggest flop ever was the plomeek latte, etc).

    Computer, a glass of water, 3 degrees centigrade.
    Lorna-Wing-sig.png
  • shadowfang240shadowfang240 Member Posts: 35,845 Arc User
    you receive a glass of water with 3 centipedes swimming in it

    computer, one 18' supreme four-cheese pizza​​
    Get the Forums Enhancement Extension!

    RIP Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Rayshard Brooks & Calvin Munerlyn

    blacklivesmatter.png

    #LegalizeAwoo

    A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
    An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
    A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
    A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"


    "It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."

    "Curiosity is bad! It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed...and more importantly, it makes you poor!"
    Passion and Serenity are one.
    I gain power by understanding both.
    In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
    I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
    The Force is united within me.
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,554 Arc User
    You get a 18' supreme alloy wheel. With extra bolts.

    Computer! Get me the 2385 uniform from Picard.
  • mneme0mneme0 Member Posts: 469 Arc User
    You receive a uniform, and shortly thereafter a visit from a naked and visibly angry Admiral yelling something about site-to-site transporters.

    Computer, one Romulan disruptor.
  • fallenkezef#4581 fallenkezef Member Posts: 633 Arc User
    A Romulan in a smart suit appears trying to sell the latest innovative business model.

    Computer, a scale model of HMS Warspite please
  • jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 9,288 Arc User
    You are crushed beneath a 1:1 scale model of HMS Warspite. That'll teach you not to specify the scale!

    Computer, one serving of gagh, please.
    Lorna-Wing-sig.png
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,554 Arc User
    You get a fresh serving of spaghetti with meatballs and it's the most delicious thing any Human has ever seen.

    Computer, a violin, please, to play for people who complain on the internet.
  • fmjoshuafmjoshua Member Posts: 12 Arc User
    YOu get a violin sized for a barbie doll.

    Computer, a slice of cheese cake please.
    I once thought that the borg were unstoppable. Now I think they're just idiots.
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,554 Arc User
    You receive a slice of peas cake. It's basically a mashup of peas.

    Computer, feline supplement #42.
  • zedbrightlander1zedbrightlander1 Member Posts: 14,279 Arc User
    You get a Blu-Ray copy of CATS from the bargain bin of WalMart.

    Computer, I want an Easter egg.
    f5cc65bc8f3b91f963e328314df7c48d.jpg
    Sig? What sig? I don't see any sig.
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,554 Arc User
    You get chicken egg, from last Christmas.

    Computer, a hologram that looks like me but has an Irish accent.
  • zedbrightlander1zedbrightlander1 Member Posts: 14,279 Arc User
    404 ERROR - A Picture of Sorcha Ronan with spiky cannot be found!

    Computer, one rag nor a rock.
    f5cc65bc8f3b91f963e328314df7c48d.jpg
    Sig? What sig? I don't see any sig.
  • cthuskyman#7158 cthuskyman Member Posts: 4 Arc User
    You get a large rock, set on what appears to be a vintage copy of the "New York Times".

    Computer, one large chocolate milk shake.
    -- CTHuskyMan

    Southwestern CT, USA

    IC: Lieutenant Thomas Armstrong
    Commanding Officer
    USS Providence

    "Live long and prosper" -- Spock
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,554 Arc User
    You get one chocolate sundae with chocolate ice cream, chocolate chips, chocolate fudge and a cherry.

    Computer, replicate me a Synth.
  • joshmauljoshmaul Member Posts: 327 Arc User
    hawku001x wrote: »
    Computer, replicate me a Synth.

    You get a theremin. Make your own synths.

    Computer, gimme a cup of coffee, anybody want coffee?
    i2G6X0u.jpg
    "Let us redefine progress to mean that just because we can do a thing, it does not necessarily follow that we must do that thing."
    - Federation President Ra-ghoratreii, Khitomer Conference opening ceremony, 2293

    Real Join Date: October 2010
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