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Broken Replicator

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  • shibowshibow Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    A "Darjeeling Tea" for you

    Computer, Hot Curry please
  • mez83mez83 Member Posts: 255 Arc User
    > @shibow said:
    > A "Darjeeling Tea" for you
    >
    > Computer, Hot Curry please

    The computer creates a woman named curie, she is quite attractive.

    Computer, one overdo library book.
  • alexmakepeacealexmakepeace Member Posts: 10,633 Arc User
    The replicator produces a library book full of ludicrously overdone purple prose. There are so many descriptors that you have no idea what anything looks like and it takes you five minutes to reach the end of the first sentence.

    Computer, one Oculus Quest. They're out of stock so I'm not going to be able to get them anywhere else, so I might as well try here.
  • fallenkezef#4581 fallenkezef Member Posts: 644 Arc User
    The replicator produces a library book full of ludicrously overdone purple prose. There are so many descriptors that you have no idea what anything looks like and it takes you five minutes to reach the end of the first sentence.

    Computer, one Oculus Quest. They're out of stock so I'm not going to be able to get them anywhere else, so I might as well try here.

    You recieve a complex series of clues leading you to a tour of neoclassical architecture

    Computer, Lancashire hotpot please

  • mez83mez83 Member Posts: 255 Arc User
    > @fallenkezef#4581 said:
    > (Quote)
    >
    > You recieve a complex series of clues leading you to a tour of neoclassical architecture
    >
    > Computer, Lancashire hotpot please

    The replicator emits a series of pops, sparks, and sizzles before materializing some sort of gray sludge. Your not sure what it is, but as you watch it pour out of the replicator and onto the floor, your pretty sure it's going to stain the new carpet.

    Computer, Seven of Nine (what can go wrong here...)
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,768 Arc User
    You get seven mini Germans yelling "No" in their native language.

    Computer, a Bajoran orb of something important!
  • zedbrightlander1zedbrightlander1 Member Posts: 14,782 Arc User
    You get an Orb of bacon.

    Computer, I want a hamburger... no, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake...
    Never mind, I'll get nothing and like it!
    f5cc65bc8f3b91f963e328314df7c48d.jpg
    Sig? What sig? I don't see any sig.
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,768 Arc User
    You get all those things, plus a jar of air.

    Computer, an everything bagel, toasted, with cream cheese.
  • mez83mez83 Member Posts: 255 Arc User
    You get a bagel covered in everything,including but not limited to, motor oil, bath soap, antifreeze, and warp coolant. It has also been "toasted" to a crisp.

    Computer, one ice cube.
  • jamieblanchardjamieblanchard Member Posts: 561 Arc User
    mez83 wrote: »

    Computer, one ice cube.

    You, in fact, get an ice cube. However, it takes up the entire room.

    Computer: pizza and green tea.

    Resident TOS, G.I. Joe, Transformers and hair metal fangirl.

    And knowing is half the battle!

    21 'til I die!
  • mez83mez83 Member Posts: 255 Arc User
    edited March 2020
    > @jamieblanchard said:
    > (Quote)
    >
    > You, in fact, get an ice cube. However, it takes up the entire room.
    >
    > Computer: pizza and green tea.

    You get a cup of tea. It's green in color and tastes like pepperoni.

    Computer, one scoop of cookies & cream ice cream
  • legendarylycan#5411 legendarylycan Member Posts: 37,283 Arc User
    (that would be a very...interesting tea flavor)

    you get an ice cream scoop full of raw cookie dough and a glob of shaving cream...no ice cream to be seen

    computer, a replicator repair manual​​
    Like special weapons from other Star Trek games? Wondering if they can be replicated in STO even a little bit? Check this out: https://forum.arcgames.com/startrekonline/discussion/1262277/a-mostly-comprehensive-guide-to-star-trek-videogame-special-weapons-and-their-sto-equivalents

    #LegalizeAwoo

    A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
    An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
    A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
    A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"


    "It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
    "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
    Passion and Serenity are one.
    I gain power by understanding both.
    In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
    I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
    The Force is united within me.
  • mez83mez83 Member Posts: 255 Arc User
    > @shadowfang240 said:
    > (that would be a very...interesting tea flavor)
    >
    > you get an ice cream scoop full of raw cookie dough and a glob of shaving cream...no ice cream to be seen
    >
    > computer, a replicator repair manual​​

    You get a repair manual, however it is in Klingon and for a different model of replicator.

    Computer, a winning lottery ticket
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,768 Arc User
    You get a winning ticket to another ticket to another ticket and so on.

    Computer, the answer to life, the universe and everything.
  • fallenkezef#4581 fallenkezef Member Posts: 644 Arc User
    hawku001x wrote: »
    You get a winning ticket to another ticket to another ticket and so on.

    Computer, the answer to life, the universe and everything.

    You get 42 mice

    Computer, the complete works of Shakespeare please.

  • zedbrightlander1zedbrightlander1 Member Posts: 14,782 Arc User
    An infinate number of monkeys appear holding spears. The monkeys shake the spears at you.

    Computer: A strong Brownian Motion producer.
    f5cc65bc8f3b91f963e328314df7c48d.jpg
    Sig? What sig? I don't see any sig.
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,768 Arc User
    You get a Bambleweeny 57 Submeson Brain.

    Computer, a bucket of hand sanitizer.
  • mez83mez83 Member Posts: 255 Arc User
    You get a bucket with one drop of hand sanitizer in it.

    Computer, a gingerbread house.
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,768 Arc User
    You get it, but it's in crumbled pieces.

    Computer, toilet paper?
  • zedbrightlander1zedbrightlander1 Member Posts: 14,782 Arc User
    You get a weather beaten copy of the Sears, Roebuck and Co. catalog with the first fifty pages ripped out and missing.

    Computer, One forehead thermometer.
    f5cc65bc8f3b91f963e328314df7c48d.jpg
    Sig? What sig? I don't see any sig.
  • mez83mez83 Member Posts: 255 Arc User
    > @zedbrightlander1 said:
    > You get a weather beaten copy of the Sears, Roebuck and Co. catalog with the first fifty pages ripped out and missing.
    >
    > Computer, One forehead thermometer.

    You get a thermometer, unfortunately it's a rectal thermometer.

    Computer, one sample of the T-Virus.
  • zedbrightlander1zedbrightlander1 Member Posts: 14,782 Arc User
    You get Mister T vs Mister Coffee.

    Computer, one IBM PS-2, model 60 with a 70 Megabite Hard Drive.
    f5cc65bc8f3b91f963e328314df7c48d.jpg
    Sig? What sig? I don't see any sig.
  • mez83mez83 Member Posts: 255 Arc User
    > @zedbrightlander1 said:
    > You get Mister T vs Mister Coffee.
    >
    > Computer, one IBM PS-2, model 60 with a 70 Megabite Hard Drive.

    The computer gives you playstation-2 instead, however the laser is broken so it can't read discs.

    Computer, a camera so I can record the fight between Mr. T & Mr. Coffee.
  • zedbrightlander1zedbrightlander1 Member Posts: 14,782 Arc User
    You get a broken tea cup and a jar of instant coffee.

    Computer, the cable is out. Contact Larry the Cable Guy an schedule a repair time.
    f5cc65bc8f3b91f963e328314df7c48d.jpg
    Sig? What sig? I don't see any sig.
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,768 Arc User
    You get Jim Carrey, who actually doesn't know anything about cable.

    Computer, I feel great, but I still want a COVID19 test.
  • fallenkezef#4581 fallenkezef Member Posts: 644 Arc User
    hawku001x wrote: »
    You get Jim Carrey, who actually doesn't know anything about cable.

    Computer, I feel great, but I still want a COVID19 test.

    You recieve a virology exam paper

    Computer, one full English breakfast please with black pudding

  • mez83mez83 Member Posts: 255 Arc User
    > @fallenkezef#4581 said:
    > (Quote)
    >
    > You recieve a virology exam paper
    >
    > Computer, one full English breakfast please with black pudding

    You receive a bowel of cereal delivered by an English butler, along with some vanilla pudding that's gone very very bad.

    Computer, one piece of chocolate cake.
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,768 Arc User
    You get two pieces of chocolate cake, but they're hovering off the edge of a cliff and fall a few delayed seconds after the realization sets in.

    Computer, an Acme anvil.
  • zedbrightlander1zedbrightlander1 Member Posts: 14,782 Arc User
    You get a greasy anvil covered in red dots.

    Computer, one tube of Clearasil®
    f5cc65bc8f3b91f963e328314df7c48d.jpg
    Sig? What sig? I don't see any sig.
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,768 Arc User
    edited April 2020
    You get an entire bucket of Clearasil® shot out into a nebula. It eventually creates a new planet and upon it, a new Barclay.

    Computer, GIVE ME GENESIS!
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