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Favorite bit of doffing silliness?

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  • baelogventurebaelogventure Member Posts: 1,002 Arc User
    edited May 2014
    I have a Caitian Chef named...I kid you not...S'Morr.

    I also have a Caitian Gravimetric Scientist named, Nao
  • tilartatilarta Member Posts: 1,801 Arc User
    edited May 2014
    Cast them in a theatrical production of Oliver Twist. ;)

    Bees like honey, they don't like vinegar.
    Everytime someone makes a character that is an copy of an existing superhuman, Creativity is sad :'(
  • dareaudareau Member Posts: 2,390 Arc User
    edited May 2014
    I need a refresher on the time honored art of linking DOffs in chat (via mail?)...

    For my Fed Sci main has a counselor called... Lol

    And he would get so much chat usage somedays...
    Detecting big-time "anti-old-school" bias here. NX? Lobi. TOS/TMP Connie? Super-promotion-box. (aka the two hardest ways to get ships) Excelsior & all 3 TNG "big hero" ships? C-Store. Please Equalize...

    To rob a line: [quote: Mariemaia Kushrenada] Forum Posting is much like an endless waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever. However, opinions will change upon the reading of my post.[/quote]
  • giliongilion Member Posts: 686 Arc User
    edited May 2014
    Oh man, I gotta look into some of these.

    My favorites are a Klingon doff mission thats called: Investigate Rumors of Klingon Intelligence.
    I know what its supposed to mean but the way its formatted is hilarious.
    Also I have a Photonic Tellarite Armory off named Second Player
    A Human Bartender called Jane Zombie
    A Human(?) Gravametric(?) off named.... TRIBBLE
    And of-course, a Human Astrometric off with the last name... *drum role*.... Gaylord.
    _____________________________________________________
    Anyone want to give me a Temporal Heavy Dreadnought pack? I'll be your friend :D
  • seannewboyseannewboy Member Posts: 667 Arc User
    edited May 2014
    I enjoyed the other day when i send my exocomp/horta to demonstrate martial arts.:rolleyes:
    New home of the Romulan Republic.
    I have an idea for what Season 11 should be; Season 11: The Big Bug Fix.
    I have not been able to read my bug tickets in over a year, not even the tickets about not being able to see my tickets.
    I find the drama of your signature proof of your immaturity, this means you, DR whiners.
  • mthomps016mthomps016 Member Posts: 66 Arc User
    edited May 2014
    gilion wrote: »
    A Human Bartender called Jane Zombie.

    It's a reference to the Robert Heinlein short story "-All You Zombies-" about an intersexual cad of a time traveling agent.
  • tilartatilarta Member Posts: 1,801 Arc User
    edited May 2014
    I find the Klingon Intelligence assignment amusing.

    My quip is this:

    It was just a rumor, Klingons have no intelligence.

    Bees like honey, they don't like vinegar.
    Everytime someone makes a character that is an copy of an existing superhuman, Creativity is sad :'(
  • starswordcstarswordc Member Posts: 10,963 Arc User
    edited May 2014
    I always like the one where you have to get a DNA sample from somebody and the crit traits are Seductive and Unscrupulous.

    Uh, no, Ensign, I'll pass on that explanation, thanks.
    "Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
    — Sabaton, "Great War"
    VZ9ASdg.png

    Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
  • futurepastnowfuturepastnow Member Posts: 3,660 Arc User
    edited May 2014
    starswordc wrote: »
    I always like the one where you have to get a DNA sample from somebody and the crit traits are Seductive and Unscrupulous.

    Uh, no, Ensign, I'll pass on that explanation, thanks.

    Seductive and Unscrupulous are two of the crit traits for Instigate Defection, as well.
  • mightybobcncmightybobcnc Member Posts: 3,354 Arc User
    edited May 2014
    Sending all of my Tholian warfare specialists to perform Hamlet.

    -edit- And they critted the assignment. Awwww yiss. Very first time I've ever done the holodeck performance too. "The performance was one of the best on record; the Daystrom Center has sent you a special gift to commemorate your accomplishment."

    Joined January 2009
    Finger wrote:
    Nitpicking is a time-honored tradition of science fiction. Asking your readers not to worry about the "little things" is like asking a dog not to sniff at people's crotches. If there's something that appears to violate natural laws, then you can expect someone's going to point it out. That's just the way things are.
  • nightkennightken Member Posts: 2,824 Arc User
    edited May 2014
    Seductive and Unscrupulous are two of the crit traits for Instigate Defection, as well.

    speaking of instigate defection. had a mildly amusing one today. sent an female orion with said traits and one my female security officers. got this old lady

    http://sto.gamepedia.com/Dolores_Yvonne_Hideaki

    starfleet need to give their officers more shore leave.

    if I stop posting it doesn't make you right it. just means I don't have enough rum to continue interacting with you.
  • starswordcstarswordc Member Posts: 10,963 Arc User
    edited June 2014
    gilion wrote: »
    My favorites are a Klingon doff mission thats called: Investigate Rumors of Klingon Intelligence.
    I know what its supposed to mean but the way its formatted is hilarious.
    I heard that Cryptic fixed that at one point only to backtrack because people liked it so much. :D
    "Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
    — Sabaton, "Great War"
    VZ9ASdg.png

    Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
  • admiraldcadmiraldc Member Posts: 52 Arc User
    edited June 2014
    I sent Mirror Hakeev...I think one of the Voth doffs...and maybe a Reman? on the Authorize Shipboard Concert mission.

    They critsuccessed.
  • theonetruetomtheonetruetom Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited June 2014
    I set up a friendly shipboard poker game between 4 Romulans and a Horta.
  • tilartatilarta Member Posts: 1,801 Arc User
    edited June 2014
    How does the Horta hold the cards they are dealt? :rolleyes:

    Bees like honey, they don't like vinegar.
    Everytime someone makes a character that is an copy of an existing superhuman, Creativity is sad :'(
  • ssargonssargon Member Posts: 347 Arc User
    edited June 2014
    tilarta wrote: »
    How does the Horta hold the cards they are dealt? :rolleyes:

    Probably the same way holo!Hawking did :)
  • staq16staq16 Member Posts: 1,181 Arc User
    edited June 2014
    Geuninely, laughing out load at this thread.

    My favourite (routinely practised by my KDF crews) is to execute mutineers against a set of low-end holographic DOffs. Practically it's a great trade (23K EC for 500 Dil) but I like to think of it as security practising for when there is a real mutiny.

    But really, anything involving stealth / subtlety and the Gorn Warrior Caste is immediately headed for comedy...
  • shaanithegreenshaanithegreen Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited June 2014
    I set up a weekly poker night for all my Cardassian doffs.

    Best case scenario: they deal one hand, spend the rest of the evening bluffing with grandiose speeches about their superiority, never look at their cards, and go home satisfied.

    Worst case scenario: "THERE ARE FOUR ACES!" *bwzaaaaaaap*
  • tilartatilarta Member Posts: 1,801 Arc User
    edited June 2014
    Um, there are Four Aces in a deck of cards (Spades, Clubs, Diamonds, Hearts). :P

    But I take it that is a reference to the Four Lights interrogation technique of Cardassians.


    I ran across a couple of Vulcan missions, but unfortunately, I wasn't able to send an all Romulan team to the second one.
    At least, not without inciting Vulcan violence......
    Pity, it would have been amusing to send Romulans who could crit a Vulcan specific mission! :D

    The first one, however, I had a Romulan who was suitable.



    Just did a Hamlet performance that ended in Disaster.
    The holodeck safety protocols were disengaged and 5 of the crew were injured.
    2 of the 5 were holograms!

    How do you injure a hologram on the holodeck? :confused:
    Aren't they supposed to be invulnerable under those circumstances?

    Bees like honey, they don't like vinegar.
    Everytime someone makes a character that is an copy of an existing superhuman, Creativity is sad :'(
  • dareaudareau Member Posts: 2,390 Arc User
    edited June 2014
    tilarta wrote: »
    Um, there are Four Aces in a deck of cards (Spades, Clubs, Diamonds, Hearts). :P

    But I take it that is a reference to the Four Lights interrogation technique of Cardassians.

    And here I was thinking it was related to the fact that, being Cardassians, one was skilled enough to attempt the classic "Ace up sleeve" maneuver suddenly introducing five aces to the table... :P
    Detecting big-time "anti-old-school" bias here. NX? Lobi. TOS/TMP Connie? Super-promotion-box. (aka the two hardest ways to get ships) Excelsior & all 3 TNG "big hero" ships? C-Store. Please Equalize...

    To rob a line: [quote: Mariemaia Kushrenada] Forum Posting is much like an endless waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever. However, opinions will change upon the reading of my post.[/quote]
  • futurepastnowfuturepastnow Member Posts: 3,660 Arc User
    edited June 2014
    I really feel that, as a KDF Captain, I should be able to abort Sickbay assignments, executing the doffs in them.
  • dragonsbrethrendragonsbrethren Member Posts: 1,854 Arc User
    edited June 2014
    My Republic crew built a "terraforming" device using contraband and torpedo platform plans. Oh, I love Romulans -- the more things change, the more they stay the same. :)
  • mustrumridcully0mustrumridcully0 Member Posts: 12,963 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    dareau wrote: »
    And here I was thinking it was related to the fact that, being Cardassians, one was skilled enough to attempt the classic "Ace up sleeve" maneuver suddenly introducing five aces to the table... :P

    Cardassassins? I would expect them to have less aces, not more.
    Star Trek Online Advancement: You start with lowbie gear, you end with Lobi gear.
  • admrenlarreckadmrenlarreck Member Posts: 2,041 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    I'm surprised that no one has mentioned this.


    Investigate digestive remains. I have been coming across this one more and more. I usually send a horta.....
    fayhers_starfleet.jpg


    Fleet leader Nova Elite

    Fleet Leader House of Nova elite
    @ren_larreck
  • edited July 2014
    This content has been removed.
  • futurepastnowfuturepastnow Member Posts: 3,660 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    Be sure to also have Cardassian doffs investigate refugee conditions on Bajor. I'm sure they're very thorough.
  • markhawkmanmarkhawkman Member Posts: 35,236 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    Hehe....

    I've done some really weird stuff with the winter missions. I wonder what a dinner with a Breen, a Tholian, a Cardassian and a Romulan would be like?
    -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
    My character Tsin'xing
    Costume_marhawkman_Tsin%27xing_CC_Comic_Page_Blue_488916968.jpg
  • wombat140wombat140 Member Posts: 971 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    I don't know, but I'm sure my Chef would hand in her notice at even being asked to cook for that lot... except she doesn't actually do the cooking because she's always busy dilithium mining. (Anyone else use Jua Boollu for that?)

    I like to send Vulcans to Attempt to Play a Game of Fizzbin sometimes. If they crit it, my captain knows it's time to search the ship for illegal substances again. (I've only recently found out where Fizzbin comes from, after seeing it in the DOff window all this time... Anyone read "The Empty Chair"? Besides being a good exciting Romulan yarn, it's also hilarious.)
  • markhawkmanmarkhawkman Member Posts: 35,236 Arc User
    edited July 2014
  • futurepastnowfuturepastnow Member Posts: 3,660 Arc User
    edited July 2014
    I got a Nausicaan botanist.

    What could have happened to cause this poor Nausicaan to turn to a life of botany?
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