Literary Challenge #46 Discussion Thread

pwebranflakes · July 2013

Literary Challenge #46 : Risian Getaway

This is the comments thread for Literary Challenge #46 : Risian Getaway.
We also have an Index of previous challenges HERE.

Feel free to link directly to the entry you are commenting on. And please remember: we're not here to tear each other up. Do not troll your fellow Captains, give feedback! Let the others know what you liked and disliked. Maybe they can even go back then and tweak their entries!

Let's get those creative juices flowing! :cool:

gulberat · July 2013

Didn't do Risa in game and don't intend to, so I'll be sitting this one out.

sander233 · July 2013

Hmm. If I finish The Road in time I might be able to convince everyone to meet up on Risa for mai-tais...

Looking forward to seeing what everyone else comes up with in the meantime!

ambassadormolari · July 2013

sander233 wrote: »

Hmm. If I finish The Road in time I might be able to convince everyone to meet up on Risa for mai-tais...

Looking forward to seeing what everyone else comes up with in the meantime!

If so, then I certainly hope the drinks are on Jesu.

takeshi6 · July 2013

gulberat wrote: »

Didn't do Risa in game and don't intend to, so I'll be sitting this one out.

Ditto.

I'll still read everyone else's entries, though.

robeasom · July 2013

takeshi6 wrote: »

Ditto.

I'll still read everyone else's entries, though.

Havent done risa either and short of my characters maybe getting some jamharon it won't be worth reading about.

marcusdkane · July 2013

Hmm, Amanda does have a penchant for cruising women's bath-houses... :P

grylak · July 2013

Anyone mind if I just repost a story I posted a while back? It fits the story requirements perfectly.

cmdrscarlet · July 2013

@grylak - Denied. :P

jonsills · July 2013

@selenelangofe - I hope you'll be continuing the story later. This is an interesting fragment, with just enough teaser to get us interested. But then what happened? (as my brother used to say when we were small, to get our grandmother to spin longer stories before bed...)

Oh, and to keep the " from turning into ?, try typing your story up in Notepad (assuming you run Windows). It uses the same code as the forums.

malkarris · July 2013

@selenelangofe: I'll echo the last. Its a good snapshot, but I'd love to see more.

I'll have to see about this one. I have two characters grinding this, might as well make something of it.

marcusdkane · July 2013

@selenelangofe: As above, that's a nice start to a piece :cool: Welcome to the literary challenges

grylak · July 2013

cmdrscarlet wrote: »

@grylak - Denied. :P

Ok. You can have that completely unrelated and totally different story. :P

sander233 · July 2013

@selenelangofe - as others have said: welcome aboard, great snapshot entry, and moar pls?

@darthgranic - a nice informative entry for those who haven't been there yet (bit late to start working on the speed boat tho...) Your use of colors, while helpful, was difficult to read. Blue is especially tough to pick out against a black background. If you could change the blue to yellow it would greatly improve readability.

@grylak - liked it better the first time I read it. :P Still a good story.

ambassadormolari wrote: »

If so, then I certainly hope the drinks are on Jesu.

I think they should be on Ssharki, actually, since he was one of the masterminds of the whole thing and I don't think Drake or Temek would show up. And I'm pretty sure Jesu won't feel like buying anybody a drink when this is all over...

darthgranic · July 2013

Not that late for people been out on holiday. I myself spent last few days of June at a college conference and spent first week of July with my gf's family for the 4th. If you get Lobi Crystals you can make up for lost time.

gorvar1 · July 2013

I might write something, going to be a ***** to tie it into my contuining narrative though....
I was thinking of introducing a Star Fleet aspect into it, but i;m loving the Klingon side to. and I havent written bout Doutra/Romulans in a while either.
Choices, choices....anyone want to push me in any direction? Was planning to make it suspenseful because holidays suck ;D

darthgranic · July 2013

Thanks Sander223 for the feedback.

I confess I did type on a white background. I did not consider the black background when copying and pasting over from ever-note.

If you have zen to spend you can make for lost time or get your speed boat sooner rather than later.

wraithshadow13 · July 2013

The funny thing is my last entry was kind of this already. Either way, i've got plenty more i can tie into this as well as exploring some of the aftermath from a fresh perspective of a different Captain.

patchouli19 · July 2013

Alrighty, got mine posted. May add to it later. But I'm enjoying everybody's entries so far!

marcusdkane · July 2013

patchouli19 wrote: »

Alrighty, got mine posted. May add to it later. But I'm enjoying everybody's entries so far!

Excellent entry :cool: Not quite the ending I was expecting, but a nice observation of the strategic weakness of so many officers being present at one time :cool:

marcusdkane · July 2013

This entry has allowed me to revisit a series which will always hold a special place in my heart. I could have written more, but didn't want to over complicate things... Things do get a bit risque, but I believe within the bounds of PG-13, and this is Risa under discussion, not the P'Jem monastery

For ease of reference/visualization, here're the actors I would cast if I was filming this tomorrow...

Sam Yates - Alex O'Laughlin
Tilly Campbell-Black - Helen Flanagan
T'Natra - Gal Gadot
Amanda Palmer - Courteney Cox
th'Shaan - James Marsters
I'sH'd -Alexander Skarsgard
S'rR's Kane -Amy Smart
Claire - Lacey Chabert
Renata - Marin Hinkle

jonsills · July 2013

Good story. The Red Targ was a nice touch - I presume any stimulants in it are legal in the Federation...

Quick question for the general assembly here - is there anything other than weapons or sapient beings which it would be illegal to purchase on Risa?

takeshi6 · July 2013

marcusdkane wrote: »

This entry has allowed me to revisit a series which will always hold a special place in my heart. I could have written more, but didn't want to over complicate things... Apologies for the *s, I'll them out in the morning... Things get a bit risque, but I believe withinnthe bounds of PG-13, and this is Risa under discussion, not the P'Jem monastery

For ease of reference/visualization, here're the actors I would cast if I was filming this tomorrow...

Sam Yates - Alex O'Laughlin
Tilly Campbell-Black - Helen Flanagan
T'Natra - Gal Gadot
Amanda Palmer - Courteney Cox
th'Shaan - James Marsters
Renata - Marin Hinkle

Very nice story, Marcus.

...You know, part of me wants to try a story of my own for this one, but not of one of my characters enjoying the festival. Instead, my story would focus on Velma, my new Female Ferengi Engineer, as she takes advantage of the Festival to do a little... scavenging... on the orbiting ships.

I mean, her ship's an old clunker that's been patched together from a Miranda, Centaur, and ShiKahr, and the ship's systems are only running because of countless jury-rigging. :eek: She needs to get the parts to keep it running from somewhere. I've even got an idea for a story where she slips into the fracas at Starbase 24 and scavenges stuff she needs from all the wreckage that gets produced. :cool:

marcusdkane · July 2013

jonsills wrote: »

Good story. The Red Targ was a nice touch - I presume any stimulants in it are legal in the Federation...

Quick question for the general assembly here - is there anything other than weapons or sapient beings which it would be illegal to purchase on Risa?

Thanks, I just wanted to throw something a little different, and I would think so, there's probably no more caffiene in it than a raktajino

marcusdkane · July 2013

takeshi6 wrote: »

Very nice story, Marcus. :-)

...You know, part of me wants to try a story of my own for this one, but not of one of my characters enjoying the festival. Instead, my story would focus on Velma, my new Female Ferengi Engineer, as she takes advantage of the Festival to do a little... scavenging... on the orbiting ships.

I mean, her ship's an old clunker that's been patched together from a Miranda, Centaur, and ShiKahr, and the ship's systems are only running because of countless jury-rigging. :eek: She needs to get the parts to keep it running from somewhere. I've even got an idea for a story where she slips into the fracas at Starbase 24 and scavenges stuff she needs from all the wreckage that gets produced. :cool:

Thanks, I hope I struck the balance right... I had wanted to do more with Sam on the beach to really make it Baywatch in Space, but couldn't come up with a decent plot for that, so just kept it as a 'light who's up to what'

I really like that idea, go for it, and see what you can come up with :cool:

takeshi6 · July 2013

marcusdkane wrote: »

Thanks, I hope I struck the balance right... I had wanted to do more with Sam on the beach to really make it Baywatch in Space, but couldn't come up with a decent plot for that, so just kept it as a 'light who's up to what'

I really like that idea, go for it, and see what you can come up with :cool:

I think you did keep a balance, even though I was rather curious as to who it was that Amanda was hooking up with--will we be seeing Renata in future stories?

As for my ideas, thank you.

I'll see if I can type up both ideas--especially the one with her taking advantage of the festival to do some scavenging. If you've seen the Operation Petticoat Movie, you know what's going to happen, but if you haven't, let's just say that some of the Captains visiting Risa are going to come back to their ships, only to find that someone has... made off with a few things...

marcusdkane · July 2013

takeshi6 wrote: »

I think you did keep a balance, even though I was rather curious as to who it was that Amanda was hooking up with--will we be seeing Renata in future stories?

Most likely not... The unmentioned info is that Renata owns the hotel, so while she may appear in future returns to Risa, Amanda's pretty much the Kirk-type of married to the job, and simply doesn't do relationships (I've added some text to clarify her lifestyle) so she certainly wouldn't get into something long distance or long term

The scene was intended as homage to the scene in The Day of The Jackal, where the Jackal uses a similar approach to get himself a hideout :cool:

takeshi6 wrote: »

As for my ideas, thank you.

I'll see if I can type up both ideas--especially the one with her taking advantage of the festival to do some scavenging. If you've seen the Operation Petticoat Movie, you know what's going to happen, but if you haven't, let's just say that some of the Captains visiting Risa are going to come back to their ships, only to find that someone has... made off with a few things...

I haven't seen that movie, but the name definitely rings a bell, and that sounds like a great idea, it'll be great to see what you come up with

danqueller · July 2013

jonsills wrote: »

Quick question for the general assembly here - is there anything other than weapons or sapient beings which it would be illegal to purchase on Risa?

From my own impressions and what I've seen of Risan culture and attitudes, I'd say any kind of drug or proceedure that might alter a being's physical or mental structure permanently and/or without consent (Risan culture is about willing acceptance of recreation and as much safety as the sentient's decisions permit), so any kind of mutating bioagent, or mind-altering substances (outside official supervision) would probably be confiscated at Customs. Also, any hazardous materials (sorry, no radioactives, waste matter, or Dilithium energizers permitted on the beach) or alien lifeforms that could pose a threat to the ecosystem of the planet (no Sagittarian Sporeweed, please).

I would furthermore submit that, being a very controlled Resort planet, the Risans would oversee all commerce conducted on their planet, with only Risan merchants permitted to open shops and trading stalls (they're a place for relaxation, not a trade world like Ferengar or DS9). Any private deals would be conducted by individuals much like 'golfcourse deals', with the actual exchange of goods being done off-world once the visitors leave, or between visiting ships directly in orbit.

Anyway, those are my thoughts.

Hope to have my entry ready soon. Taking a bit more time to write due to RL events.

Edit: And maybe enforcement of trade restrictions was one of the primary motivating factors in the Risan contracting for a class of luxury liner warships....something elegant and fun to be on that can also blow your offending pirate vessel into scrap if you decide Risa looks pretty good for a raid or to do underworld deals

takeshi6 · July 2013

marcusdkane wrote: »

Most likely not... The unmentioned info is that Renata owns the hotel, so while she may appear in future returns to Risa, Amanda's pretty much the Kirk-type of married to the job, and simply doesn't do relationships (I've added some text to clarify her lifestyle) so she certainly wouldn't get into something long distance or long term ;-) The scene was intended as homage to the scene in The Day of The Jackal, where the Jackal uses a similar approach to get himself a hideout :cool:

Gotcha.

marcusdkane wrote: »

I haven't seen that movie, but the name definitely rings a bell, and that sounds like a great idea, it'll be great to see what you come up with :-)

It's an old movie from 1959, but luckily my parents have it on VHS (though I'm hoping that there's a DVD version out there somewhere). It takes place in World War II, and stars Cary Grant as Matt Sherman, the commanding officer of the USS Sea Tiger, a submarine in the pacific. The movie actually starts several years later, with Grant's character as an Admiral who's come to visit the Sea Tiger before she's sent to the scrapyard. The movie is basically a flashback as he remembers the first voyage of the Sea Tiger, starting with her being sunk in an air raid.

As he works to get the submarine raised and repaired, he gains a crew member named Nick Holden, a Lieutenant JG played by Tony Curtis. Lt. Holden quickly talks his way into becoming Sherman's supply officer, and gets around the delay of requisitions and going through proper channels by scavenging the needed parts and supplies from just about wherever they can be found. They get stuff from warehouses, they remove steering wheels from Jeeps, they even remove the piping from one of the base's restrooms!! They even remove part of the wall from the Base Commander's Office!!! :eek:

Of course, the antics continue once they get underway, but I probably shouldn't spoil it any further.

Velma, my Female Ferengi, is inspired by Lt. Holden, so this story will feature a similar level of scavenging, only updated to the current level of tech. :cool:

danqueller · July 2013

takeshi6 wrote: »

Gotcha.

It's an old movie from 1959, but luckily my parents have it on VHS (though I'm hoping that there's a DVD version out there somewhere). It takes place in World War II, and stars Cary Grant as Matt Sherman, the commanding officer of the USS Sea Tiger, a submarine in the pacific. The movie actually starts several years later, with Grant's character as an Admiral who's come to visit the Sea Tiger before she's sent to the scrapyard. The movie is basically a flashback as he remembers the first voyage of the Sea Tiger, starting with her being sunk in an air raid.

As he works to get the submarine raised and repaired, he gains a crew member named Nick Holden, a Lieutenant JG played by Tony Curtis. Lt. Holden quickly talks his way into becoming Sherman's supply officer, and gets around the delay of requisitions and going through proper channels by scavenging the needed parts and supplies from just about wherever they can be found. They get stuff from warehouses, they remove steering wheels from Jeeps, they even remove the piping from one of the base's restrooms!! They even remove part of the wall from the Base Commander's Office!!! :eek:

Of course, the antics continue once they get underway, but I probably shouldn't spoil it any further.

Velma, my Female Ferengi, is inspired by Lt. Holden, so this story will feature a similar level of scavenging, only updated to the current level of tech. :cool:

Hehe...that reminds me of another old movie, one that would be perfect for an idea of a ship visiting at Risa. Mister Roberts is about a small transport ship in the middle of the Pacific in WW II, and the friction between the over-ambitious, stern Captain and his underappreciated, realistic XO. When they finally get a port visit, you can image how it goes

takeshi6 · July 2013

danqueller wrote: »

Hehe...that reminds me of another old movie, one that would be perfect for an idea of a ship visiting at Risa. Mister Roberts is about a small transport ship in the middle of the Pacific in WW II, and the friction between the over-ambitious, stern Captain and his underappreciated, realistic XO. When they finally get a port visit, you can image how it goes

Heh.

World War II Provided such great comedy material, didn't it? Material that makes perfect inspiration for us. :cool:

Literary Challenge #46 Discussion Thread

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