A slight difference between the scenes, is in both the original Day of the Jackal, and the remake, the Jackal kills the guys who pick him up when they see his identity on the TV, and I'm sure Amanda won't be whacking Renata :P
Gotcha.
It's an old movie from 1959, but luckily my parents have it on VHS (though I'm hoping that there's a DVD version out there somewhere). It takes place in World War II, and stars Cary Grant as Matt Sherman, the commanding officer of the USS Sea Tiger, a submarine in the pacific. The movie actually starts several years later, with Grant's character as an Admiral who's come to visit the Sea Tiger before she's sent to the scrapyard. The movie is basically a flashback as he remembers the first voyage of the Sea Tiger, starting with her being sunk in an air raid.
As he works to get the submarine raised and repaired, he gains a crew member named Nick Holden, a Lieutenant JG played by Tony Curtis. Lt. Holden quickly talks his way into becoming Sherman's supply officer, and gets around the delay of requisitions and going through proper channels by scavenging the needed parts and supplies from just about wherever they can be found. They get stuff from warehouses, they remove steering wheels from Jeeps, they even remove the piping from one of the base's restrooms!! They even remove part of the wall from the Base Commander's Office!!!
Of course, the antics continue once they get underway, but I probably shouldn't spoil it any further.
Velma, my Female Ferengi, is inspired by Lt. Holden, so this story will feature a similar level of scavenging, only updated to the current level of tech. [/COLOR]
Ahh, the mention of Tony Curtis is actually ringing a bell, I think I might have seen the film at some point :cool: I'm looking forward to seeing more of Velma ^_^
World War II Provided such great comedy material, didn't it? Material that makes perfect inspiration for us. :cool:
Both Casablanca and Ice Cold in Alex could easily be re-written into Trek scenarios... Not that Quark is any Rick, but the stories could certainly be made to fit :cool:
@marcusdkane - Nice circle! Amanda must be a naughty girl :-P
Thanks Well, she doesn't like it 'Klingon Style', and has settled down from her academy days, but she doesn't live like a nun either I hinted at this when she was at the Japanese bathhouse, but figured as this was Risa, things needed kicking up a notch
When I first saw the challenge title was 'getaway', I actually thought of writing a totally non-crew based Risian Heist... I then had the idea of doing Baywatch in Space, as that's a show I always loved, and would've always liked to have written for :cool:
I have to ask though: Are Tylha and T'laihhae going to become... well... an item?
Glad you liked it!
As to the question: I very much doubt it. They're both my toons, it seems a little, well, incestuous. (And, if you want a more serious, in-character sort of explanation; both of them are carrying far too much emotional baggage, of one kind or another, to open up to that extent.)
So... well, I would say they were going to stay strictly professional, but I'm not sure "strictly professional" is a phrase that really fits Tylha.
Anyway. Tylha's little essay on "What I did on my summer vacation" is now up. They asked for a Risian getaway, so that's what they've got....
That was awesome, Tylha and T'laihhae definitely make a good team :cool: I really enjoyed the deportation scene and the standing on personal weapons, although the entire entry was fantastic :cool: I was very tempted to have S'rR's visit the beach and have I'sH'd suffer the indignity of wearing his honor sword over trunks while standing guard, but decided to keep them ship-bound for variety of setting
Hey, Jonsills, we gonna be seeing Grunt in this LC?
Possibly - the Herpes needs to pick up a couple of people, and Risa seems like as good a place as any to do it. I've even got a bit involving one of the new people kind of planned out. Now if I could just find a hook for the story - one that doesn't involve Grunt's ship getting blown up, for a change...
Now if I could just find a hook for the story - one that doesn't involve Grunt's ship getting blown up, for a change...
Joyriding Nausicaan teenagers in a stolen 'Vette?
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
I'd better get cracking on mine this weekend if I want to put anything up.
@darthgranic: Cute guide, and not a half bad story.
@grylak: Didn't I read this somewhere before? Still, good story, very sweet.
@kaaskrul: I am probably the last person to say this, but please spell check. The story is okay though a bit rushed.
@patchouli19: Nice story. You're taking the Star Fleet Univese setting, aren't you, fromthe old mini game. I think I reconize a few races from there.
@marcusdkane: Funny one. So, S'rR's a highlander and X23? Or X32, I alwasy forget. I liked the Baywatch part. And yeah, one wonders about the Starfleet code of conduct when looking at Amanda. Then again, a few of my characters should talk.
@shevet: Another good one. If Risa really is open to anyone, you would think the locals would be more used to this stuff. I really like T'laihhae, she and Tylha should team up more often. Not that I don't like Tylha, but I'd love more of a peek inside T'laihhae's head. Also, are all of your Romulan ships named after Roman women?
@marcusdkane: Funny one. So, S'rR's a highlander and X23? Or X32, I alwasy forget. I liked the Baywatch part. And yeah, one wonders about the Starfleet code of conduct when looking at Amanda. Then again, a few of my characters should talk.
Thanks, for the feedback, I wanted to keep it light, hence the scenes with the ship's Bunnies
Yes, S'rR's was inspired by both Highlander immortals and X-23. I wondered when someone would get the X-Men steal
As for Amanda, she's not doing anything which most other people don't do on Risa, and by being in a 'themed venue', would be able to expect the reasonable privacy for it to not fall under 'Conduct Unbecoming' (and then leaves anyway for a truly private rendezvous )
@shevet: Another good one. If Risa really is open to anyone, you would think the locals would be more used to this stuff. I really like T'laihhae, she and Tylha should team up more often. Not that I don't like Tylha, but I'd love more of a peek inside T'laihhae's head. Also, are all of your Romulan ships named after Roman women?
Oh, yes... more specific than that, even: female characters from I, Claudius. T'laihhae started out in the RRW Livia; I leave it to you to judge whether she's traded up or down.
I've been sort of enjoying having T'laihhae as a non-viewpoint character, where you can only try to infer what's going on in her head from her perceived actions... maybe I'll stick with that, maybe I won't. I'll just have to see what comes to my mind in future challenges!
- oh, and @jonsills: add me to the list of people who think Grunt would enjoy a visit to Risa.
Excellent entry Not quite the ending I was expecting, but a nice observation of the strategic weakness of so many officers being present at one time
Thank you, I'm hoping the word "unexpected" will be used for a few more of my future endings. I quite enjoy pulling the rug out from under my readers feet :P (to a reasonable extent of course. There is a difference between pulling the rug and setting off a thermonuclear device).
@patchouli19: Nice story. You're taking the Star Fleet Univese setting, aren't you, fromthe old mini game. I think I reconize a few races from there.
Oh yes yes yes. I am a huge fan of the Starfleet Command games ("Command II: Empires at War" and the "Orion Pirates" expansion to be specific). I thought melding the Starfleet Command and STO universes should prove to be very interesting :cool:. So you can say my LC narrative is sort of an experiment *wrings hands and chuckles*
Thank you, I'm hoping the word "unexpected" will be used for a few more of my future endings. I quite enjoy pulling the rug out from under my readers feet :P (to a reasonable extent of course. There is a difference between pulling the rug and setting off a thermonuclear device).
I'll certainly look forward to reading your future entries :cool:
I tried to play this entry as straight as possible with no real twists to it, the closest being that the lifeguard was from the nineties, and would have been a Baywatch lifeguard before the events shown in the series
@kaaskrul - You've got all the makings of a great story there: a Captain with a tortured past, struggling with the loss of his first officer, unable to relax on a pleasure planet due to his old fears and new suspicions. If you could just spell-check and punctuate your work, separate your thoughts and flesh them out a little more, you'd definitely have something there worth reading.
@patchouli19 - great entry! How do the bad guys always know to strike when the hero's on vacation? :cool:
@marcusdkane - wonderful piece. I loved the revelations about Amanda, and S'rR's showing I'sH'd her claws. And the Baywatch guy... ah, that brings back memories of my TRIBBLE years... watching Pamela Anderson running in slow motion... :P
@shevat - That was really nice to see Tylha and T'laihhae up to no good together. And I really enjoyed Bulpli's recreational suggestions. ("I know when I'm licked...") And since jonsills already mentioned my favorite line, this is my second favorite bit:
I was lucky, in that no one encountered me, wandering the corridors in the darkness, wearing nothing but a plastic coating and an unconscious Tal Shiar officer.... There would have been questions."
"Well, maybe not. This is Risa."
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
@marcusdkane - wonderful piece. I loved the revelations about Amanda, and S'rR's showing I'sH'd her claws.
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks again for H'mL'n's email :cool: I wanted to show S'rR's actually doing something, and figured that would be the best way to accomplish that, as well as showing Claire's integration to both ship and crew ^_^
I only got the inspiration this afternoon to add the piece about Amanda's tattoos, but thought it would be a way of showing (literally) things about her which would not normally be seen, and to reveal other aspects of her past and personality through their discussion. My original intent was for the tattoo to be of the Heart of the Ocean, but thought that would be too OTT for her family, and just an indulgence to include... As a secondary function, it made for a more realistic introduction to Renata than her just walking off with the first random who came up to her
As for S'rR's and I'sH'd, I wanted to show just how continually disturbing she actually is to him and other Pentaxians (about the same as if a Human was to turn their head 180 degrees and talk to someone standing behind them) and figured that would be the way to do it.
And the Baywatch guy... ah, that brings back memories of my TRIBBLE years... watching Pamela Anderson running in slow motion... :P
Likewise, I watched pretty much every episode when I was younger and loved it. I figured this would be the only chance I'd get to actually write some Baywatch, which is why I bracketed the entry with the tracks... I read an interview with Pam mid-nineties where she said her favourite director was Quentin Tarantino and how much she wanted to work with him, and I thought how cool it would be if he was to have directed an episode with carte blanche... I figure it would open with Mitch and Garner hog-tied in tower twelve before it blows up (stuff always happened to tower twelve...) and the cut back to the beginning :cool: Ironically, as I was writing Sam, I realised that his training as a lifeguard probably would stand him in good stead to be a Starfleet officer, even if only as enlisted crew, but what the hey, writer's licence on that issue... ^_^
@flightofcrimson: Really nice entry :cool: My only issue, was the way Tepon stopped the fight... I'm not sure if that is an in-game ability, but it just seemed a bit strange if he'd reached out, yanked the fire alarm and then told them to start behaving like officers when the noise distracted them, rather than whining about the interruption of his leisure, that might have jarred less IMHO. Just my .2c, it really was a very enjoyable read :cool:
The Exothermic Induction Field ability, which is available with the Science - Physicist kit, allows you to set things on fire.
And yeah, now that I think of it, setting something on fire isn't something an admiral would usually do. I'll see if I can fix it up to make it more logical - maybe use parts of your idea, if you don't mind.
The Exothermic Induction Field ability, which is available with the Science - Physicist kit, allows you to set things on fire.
And yeah, now that I think of it, setting something on fire isn't something an admiral would usually do. I'll see if I can fix it up to make it more logical - maybe use parts of your idea, if you don't mind.
Ahh, I figured it might be something like that, it just didn't seem quite right for the location
Not at all, after all, we're all here to guide and critique each other That flows much better now :cool:
got mine up, figured after putting her through the wringer last LC should be nice to Polekitty this time. Moving her parents to Risa fits too, both with their lifestyle and the climate similar to Florida where they call home. fun to write before going back to melting Schrodi's brain
"It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier." R.A.Heinlein
Deety and Jhim, hmm? Well, he can't be anything like the other Jhim I know of, not if he's interested in Deety and Rhonda... On the other paw, Deety could be quite a bit like Dejah Thoris Burroughs-Carter - no reason a Risan can't also be a genius mathematician.
Marcus, while I admit I didn't read the Amanda sections very closely, I really enjoyed seeing the "fallout" of the encounter between I'sH'd and Alyosha. It seems that dealing with someone who is not just different, but belongs to the species of a sworn enemy of the Pentaxian people as men (and not as a wild animal or demon) really was a powerful experience.
I've always noticed it with certain species. People would have trouble at first with calling a liberated Borg (especially one that still has a heavily Borged appearance a man or woman. At least as I write the Devidians, they have two genders, but I suspect most would hesitate before calling Alyosha a man and not just a being or person. Similarly, I suspect that Siri was similarly an "it" or "creature" to I'sH'd rather than having full-fledged personhood, being a woman rather than a creature. Perhaps that will now change.
(You've seen how touchy Alyosha gets about nomenclature and pronouns when referring to sentient beings. The above sheds light on why: being regarded as a creature rather than a man is something he has experienced directly.)
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
Deety and Jhim, hmm? Well, he can't be anything like the other Jhim I know of, not if he's interested in Deety and Rhonda... On the other paw, Deety could be quite a bit like Dejah Thoris Burroughs-Carter - no reason a Risan can't also be a genius mathematician.
Well I never did say what her day job was...
"It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier." R.A.Heinlein
Comments
Ahh, the mention of Tony Curtis is actually ringing a bell, I think I might have seen the film at some point :cool: I'm looking forward to seeing more of Velma ^_^
Both Casablanca and Ice Cold in Alex could easily be re-written into Trek scenarios... Not that Quark is any Rick, but the stories could certainly be made to fit :cool:
@darthgranic - Now THAT is a walkthrough. Well done!
@grylak - Awww, that was a nice, tranquil piece. I want to see more of this couple.
@kaaskull - Please add punctuation to help readers
@patchouli19 - That was really cool interaction between officers; very smooth conversation and "action".
@marcusdkane - Nice circle! Amanda must be a naughty girl :P
Man, this is almost a wide open topic ...
Thanks
When I first saw the challenge title was 'getaway', I actually thought of writing a totally non-crew based Risian Heist... I then had the idea of doing Baywatch in Space, as that's a show I always loved, and would've always liked to have written for :cool:
Anyway. Tylha's little essay on "What I did on my summer vacation" is now up. They asked for a Risian getaway, so that's what they've got....
I love this one.
I have to ask though: Are Tylha and T'laihhae going to become... well... an item?
As to the question: I very much doubt it. They're both my toons, it seems a little, well, incestuous. (And, if you want a more serious, in-character sort of explanation; both of them are carrying far too much emotional baggage, of one kind or another, to open up to that extent.)
So... well, I would say they were going to stay strictly professional, but I'm not sure "strictly professional" is a phrase that really fits Tylha.
That was awesome, Tylha and T'laihhae definitely make a good team :cool: I really enjoyed the deportation scene and the standing on personal weapons, although the entire entry was fantastic :cool: I was very tempted to have S'rR's visit the beach and have I'sH'd suffer the indignity of wearing his honor sword over trunks while standing guard, but decided to keep them ship-bound for variety of setting
Somebody's being genre-savvy, I see...
Heh.
Hey, Jonsills, we gonna be seeing Grunt in this LC?
heh, awesome story. I'm working on one for this myself, hope to have it tomorrow or the next day finished.
"he's as dangerous as a ferret with a chainsaw."
Joyriding Nausicaan teenagers in a stolen 'Vette?
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
@darthgranic: Cute guide, and not a half bad story.
@grylak: Didn't I read this somewhere before? Still, good story, very sweet.
@kaaskrul: I am probably the last person to say this, but please spell check. The story is okay though a bit rushed.
@patchouli19: Nice story. You're taking the Star Fleet Univese setting, aren't you, fromthe old mini game. I think I reconize a few races from there.
@marcusdkane: Funny one. So, S'rR's a highlander and X23? Or X32, I alwasy forget. I liked the Baywatch part. And yeah, one wonders about the Starfleet code of conduct when looking at Amanda. Then again, a few of my characters should talk.
@shevet: Another good one. If Risa really is open to anyone, you would think the locals would be more used to this stuff. I really like T'laihhae, she and Tylha should team up more often. Not that I don't like Tylha, but I'd love more of a peek inside T'laihhae's head. Also, are all of your Romulan ships named after Roman women?
Nouveau riche LTS member
Thanks, for the feedback, I wanted to keep it light, hence the scenes with the ship's Bunnies
Yes, S'rR's was inspired by both Highlander immortals and X-23. I wondered when someone would get the X-Men steal
As for Amanda, she's not doing anything which most other people don't do on Risa, and by being in a 'themed venue', would be able to expect the reasonable privacy for it to not fall under 'Conduct Unbecoming' (and then leaves anyway for a truly private rendezvous
Oh, yes... more specific than that, even: female characters from I, Claudius. T'laihhae started out in the RRW Livia; I leave it to you to judge whether she's traded up or down.
I've been sort of enjoying having T'laihhae as a non-viewpoint character, where you can only try to infer what's going on in her head from her perceived actions... maybe I'll stick with that, maybe I won't. I'll just have to see what comes to my mind in future challenges!
- oh, and @jonsills: add me to the list of people who think Grunt would enjoy a visit to Risa.
Thank you, I'm hoping the word "unexpected" will be used for a few more of my future endings. I quite enjoy pulling the rug out from under my readers feet :P (to a reasonable extent of course. There is a difference between pulling the rug and setting off a thermonuclear device).
@cmdrscarlet
And thank you as well. Transitions aren't exactly my strong suit...
@malkarris
Oh yes yes yes. I am a huge fan of the Starfleet Command games ("Command II: Empires at War" and the "Orion Pirates" expansion to be specific). I thought melding the Starfleet Command and STO universes should prove to be very interesting :cool:. So you can say my LC narrative is sort of an experiment *wrings hands and chuckles*
I tried to play this entry as straight as possible with no real twists to it, the closest being that the lifeguard was from the nineties, and would have been a Baywatch lifeguard before the events shown in the series
@patchouli19 - great entry! How do the bad guys always know to strike when the hero's on vacation? :cool:
@marcusdkane - wonderful piece. I loved the revelations about Amanda, and S'rR's showing I'sH'd her claws. And the Baywatch guy... ah, that brings back memories of my TRIBBLE years... watching Pamela Anderson running in slow motion... :P
@shevat - That was really nice to see Tylha and T'laihhae up to no good together. And I really enjoyed Bulpli's recreational suggestions. ("I know when I'm licked...") And since jonsills already mentioned my favorite line, this is my second favorite bit:
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
I only got the inspiration this afternoon to add the piece about Amanda's tattoos, but thought it would be a way of showing (literally) things about her which would not normally be seen, and to reveal other aspects of her past and personality through their discussion. My original intent was for the tattoo to be of the Heart of the Ocean, but thought that would be too OTT for her family, and just an indulgence to include... As a secondary function, it made for a more realistic introduction to Renata than her just walking off with the first random who came up to her
As for S'rR's and I'sH'd, I wanted to show just how continually disturbing she actually is to him and other Pentaxians (about the same as if a Human was to turn their head 180 degrees and talk to someone standing behind them) and figured that would be the way to do it.
Likewise, I watched pretty much every episode when I was younger and loved it. I figured this would be the only chance I'd get to actually write some Baywatch, which is why I bracketed the entry with the tracks... I read an interview with Pam mid-nineties where she said her favourite director was Quentin Tarantino and how much she wanted to work with him, and I thought how cool it would be if he was to have directed an episode with carte blanche... I figure it would open with Mitch and Garner hog-tied in tower twelve before it blows up (stuff always happened to tower twelve...) and the cut back to the beginning :cool: Ironically, as I was writing Sam, I realised that his training as a lifeguard probably would stand him in good stead to be a Starfleet officer, even if only as enlisted crew, but what the hey, writer's licence on that issue... ^_^
And yeah, now that I think of it, setting something on fire isn't something an admiral would usually do. I'll see if I can fix it up to make it more logical - maybe use parts of your idea, if you don't mind.
Ahh, I figured it might be something like that, it just didn't seem quite right for the location
Not at all, after all, we're all here to guide and critique each other
What I currently have is saved, but I'm going to set it to the side until I can make progress.
Not sure if I'll be able to get it done before we switch to the next challenge, but I'll do my best.
Also, some very good stories so far. :cool:
"he's as dangerous as a ferret with a chainsaw."
I've always noticed it with certain species. People would have trouble at first with calling a liberated Borg (especially one that still has a heavily Borged appearance a man or woman. At least as I write the Devidians, they have two genders, but I suspect most would hesitate before calling Alyosha a man and not just a being or person. Similarly, I suspect that Siri was similarly an "it" or "creature" to I'sH'd rather than having full-fledged personhood, being a woman rather than a creature. Perhaps that will now change.
(You've seen how touchy Alyosha gets about nomenclature and pronouns when referring to sentient beings. The above sheds light on why: being regarded as a creature rather than a man is something he has experienced directly.)
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
Well I never did say what her day job was...
"he's as dangerous as a ferret with a chainsaw."