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Literary Challenge #46 Discussion Thread

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  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    danqueller wrote: »
    Ok...posted my entry. Enjoy!
    Excellent, and still the Commander remains anonymous :cool:
    got mine up, figured after putting her through the wringer last LC should be nice to Polekitty this time. Moving her parents to Risa fits too, both with their lifestyle ;-) and the climate similar to Florida where they call home. fun to write before going back to melting Schrodi's brain :-D
    Awesome entry, and indeed, her parents seemed to be in a similar position to which Sam found himself in my entry :)
    decided to submit something a little different....
    Different can be good :cool:
  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    gulberat wrote: »
    Marcus, while I admit I didn't read the Amanda sections very closely
    That's actually (ish) something I wouldn't mind your thoughts on, and Amanda's classified mission to the MU relatively early in her career. All I know thus far, is that the tattoo is a memorial for a half Cardassian half Klingon...

    gulberat wrote: »
    I really enjoyed seeing the "fallout" of the encounter between I'sH'd and Alyosha. It seems that dealing with someone who is not just different, but belongs to the species of a sworn enemy of the Pentaxian people as men (and not as a wild animal or demon) really was a powerful experience.

    I've always noticed it with certain species. People would have trouble at first with calling a liberated Borg (especially one that still has a heavily Borged appearance a man or woman. At least as I write the Devidians, they have two genders, but I suspect most would hesitate before calling Alyosha a man and not just a being or person. Similarly, I suspect that Siri was similarly an "it" or "creature" to I'sH'd rather than having full-fledged personhood, being a woman rather than a creature. Perhaps that will now change.

    (You've seen how touchy Alyosha gets about nomenclature and pronouns when referring to sentient beings. The above sheds light on why: being regarded as a creature rather than a man is something he has experienced directly.)
    Learning what Alyosha was, was definitely a powerful experience for I'sH'd, and one which challenged his preconceptions about things. As I mentioned to sander233 above, his reaction to the revelation of her claws, is akin to standing behind someone in the elevator, only to have them swivel their head 180 degrees and ask for the time. That instinctive revulsion will likely never leave him, but he is at least now trying to behave civilly towards her, having a better understanding of why she is the way she is.

    I think given the Devidians shown in Time's Arrow, it is a reasonable conjecture that they have two genders, as the mission could easily have been undertaken by two males or two females, so the fact that their camouflage was male and female, indeed suggests that those were their true genders in their native form, not just 'disguises for the sake of disguises' :)
  • danquellerdanqueller Member Posts: 506 Arc User
    edited July 2013

    I think given the Devidians shown in Time's Arrow, it is a reasonable conjecture that they have two genders, as the mission could easily have been undertaken by two males or two females, so the fact that their camouflage was male and female, indeed suggests that those were their true genders in their native form, not just 'disguises for the sake of disguises' :)

    Well, they might not have 'genders' as we understand them, but more different types of minds that equivalent to 'male' and 'female' types, and thus gravitate to those aspects when they adopt their cover appearances. Certainly, it seems likely they don't have the need for typical genders in their state.
  • danquellerdanqueller Member Posts: 506 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    Excellent, and still the Commander remains anonymous :cool:

    Thanks very much, though I did have to go back to eliminate an odd typo that made it seem the Commander and Vice Admiral shared a taste in tailors. Funny how some things get past you even after you reread it a dozen times :)
  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    danqueller wrote: »
    Well, they might not have 'genders' as we understand them, but more different types of minds that equivalent to 'male' and 'female' types, and thus gravitate to those aspects when they adopt their cover appearances. Certainly, it seems likely they don't have the need for typical genders in their state.
    Certainly possible, sadly there's never been any canon examples of their procreation, but I think the selection of those cover identities does hint at some kind of distinction for them :)
    danqueller wrote: »
    Thanks very much, though I did have to go back to eliminate an odd typo that made it seem the Commander and Vice Admiral shared a taste in tailors. Funny how some things get past you even after you reread it a dozen times :)
    I know that feeling, there's a few tweaks I really ought to make to the previous LC entry, I just need to get round to doing it... Dragging through the entire entry on an iPad's no fun at all :D
  • gulberatgulberat Member Posts: 5,505 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    That's actually (ish) something I wouldn't mind your thoughts on, and Amanda's classified mission to the MU relatively early in her career. All I know thus far, is that the tattoo is a memorial for a half Cardassian half Klingon...

    I guess I just wasn't interested in reading about her getting her jamaharon on, as you put it in your story. I tend to skip that kind of stuff from most any author. ;)
    Learning what Alyosha was, was definitely a powerful experience for I'sH'd, and one which challenged his preconceptions about things. As I mentioned to sander233 above, his reaction to the revelation of her claws, is akin to standing behind someone in the elevator, only to have them swivel their head 180 degrees and ask for the time. That instinctive revulsion will likely never leave him, but he is at least now trying to behave civilly towards her, having a better understanding of why she is the way she is.

    But there's one thing I would ask. If she had been the product of what I suppose he would unfortunately call "miscegenation" (the "crime" of interracial marriage, back when such things were illegal), would she be responsible for the "sins" of her parents in his eyes? (And indeed, would such parents be put to death in Pentaxian society? :( )
    I think given the Devidians shown in Time's Arrow, it is a reasonable conjecture that they have two genders, as the mission could easily have been undertaken by two males or two females, so the fact that their camouflage was male and female, indeed suggests that those were their true genders in their native form, not just 'disguises for the sake of disguises' :)

    For me it was the behavior the two Devidians showed as they tried to flee into the portal. Even though there was no spoken communication to judge by (I suspect there was something telepathic going on), IMHO the male Devidian seemed seriously distressed at having to abandon his companion in the same way that a human would be upset at abandoning his or her spouse. Even as he did do so, he looked torn about it. I suspect she finally told him to go save himself and he didn't like that. For them to be acting that way in the heat of the moment (rather than when they were worrying about being seen) made me think that was a true reflection of their relationship.

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  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    gulberat wrote: »
    I guess I just wasn't interested in reading about her getting her jamaharon on, as you put it in your story. I tend to skip that kind of stuff from most any author. ;-)
    Oh no, that I understand, I was meaning your thoughts on the Cardassian/Klingon hybrid :D All I've gotten so far, is that Amanda was a Lieutenant, and due to her ATT qualification, was assigned to extract a Federation cultural observer who was assigned to study the machinations and origins of the alliance, to see if there could be warning signs of it occurring in the Prime Universe, but even getting that much from her has been difficult:D
    gulberat wrote: »
    But there's one thing I would ask. If she had been the product of what I suppose he would unfortunately call "miscegenation" (the "crime" of interracial marriage, back when such things were illegal), would she be responsible for the "sins" of her parents in his eyes? (And indeed, would such parents be put to death in Pentaxian society? :-( )
    The things to bear in mind, is that the Pentaxian Dynasty not only operates on a caste system and of the past century, has been notoriously insular, but there is also very much a culture of 'inheritance of shame' (which is why I'sH'd's father exiled/killed himself following his father's attempts to assassinate the empress, and why he (I'sH'd) felt he was being punished with his assignment as Siri's security escort) While a mixed marriage wouldn't be a crime, per se, it would be looked down upon by traditionalists, and many would not entertain one. That isn't so much the issue most Pentaxians have with Siri, as their revulsion for her physicality (as with the head turning example), is an instinctive, not cultural, aversion, much as people might do more than a double take if they were to go into a church and the minister was dressed like a burlesque dancer :D

    gulberat wrote: »
    For me it was the behavior the two Devidians showed as they tried to flee into the portal. Even though there was no spoken communication to judge by (I suspect there was something telepathic going on), IMHO the male Devidian seemed seriously distressed at having to abandon his companion in the same way that a human would be upset at abandoning his or her spouse. Even as he did do so, he looked torn about it. I suspect she finally told him to go save himself and he didn't like that. For them to be acting that way in the heat of the moment (rather than when they were worrying about being seen) made me think that was a true reflection of their relationship.
    Absolutely, I definitely agree with you there :)
  • danquellerdanqueller Member Posts: 506 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    gulberat wrote: »

    For me it was the behavior the two Devidians showed as they tried to flee into the portal. Even though there was no spoken communication to judge by (I suspect there was something telepathic going on), IMHO the male Devidian seemed seriously distressed at having to abandon his companion in the same way that a human would be upset at abandoning his or her spouse. Even as he did do so, he looked torn about it. I suspect she finally told him to go save himself and he didn't like that. For them to be acting that way in the heat of the moment (rather than when they were worrying about being seen) made me think that was a true reflection of their relationship.

    Well, we didn't really see enough to know, so your interpretation is as good as any other. However, that reaction could be from being siblings, learner/teacher, or just part of a close working team. Like I said, I don't see their states really making gender possible, but certainly something that would translate into that kind of difference when they took Human appearances would be very believable.

    Ultimately, it's what the person writing the story wants it to be. I think it was just lazy writing on the part of the scriptwriter for the episode. It's a lot easier to make aliens just different versions of people than it is to make them truly different from what we normally experience every day, and ST is notorious for this shortcut.

    Of course, that's not to say that it can't be that they do have exactly the situation you decided to make in your own story, so your idea is as valid as mine. Science Fiction is about possibilities, not the elimination of them :)
  • cmdrscarletcmdrscarlet Member Posts: 5,137 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    danqueller wrote: »
    Science Fiction is about possibilities, not the elimination of them :)

    Thank you for this. It helped me pass a writer's block today.
  • danquellerdanqueller Member Posts: 506 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    Thank you for this. It helped me pass a writer's block today.

    Always happy to help a fellow Writer. :)
  • grylakgrylak Member Posts: 1,594 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    I originally posted that story again since I didn't think anyone had read it. But apparantly you all did. So now, I'm editing it into a brand spanking new log based on something that just happened to me in game.
    *******************************************

    A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
  • cmdrscarletcmdrscarlet Member Posts: 5,137 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    @shevet - The intrigue is so well put-together and the outcomes are brilliant. One day I'll be just as awesome :)

    @flightofcrimson - A food fight on a starshp? A bar brawl on Risa?! The universe is unraveling ... Great writing in this piece.
  • ambassadormolariambassadormolari Member Posts: 709 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    @flightofcrimson: Hilarious! I can't decide what I liked better-- the foodfight on the ship, or the collateral damage caused by Tepon's...er...diplomacy.

    @patchouli19: Great entry! I can't help but wonder, though, at how your captain came to have Vorta bridge officer (ie, aren't all Vorta supposed to be fanatically loyal to the Founders?) I also found your inclusion of the Interstellar Concordium (whom I was prompted to look up on Memory Beta) interesting. I look forward to seeing what you do with the storyline in future.

    @marcusdkane: Some nice character development for Amanda there. Though what I found the most interesting of all was the temporally-displaced lifeguard you threw in there.

    @shevet: As usual, a very fun read! I especially like the fact that you incorporated a floater into the Senator's getaway. I think it's an absolute shame that we're not allowed to use them outside of Risa in-game.


    I'm still trying to decide on how to write this story myself-- in particular, I'm debating whether to focus it on Lynathru, or on Ta'nara. This, of course, is while I'm also doing a thorough introduction to Arkos' new ship and crew.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 10,483 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    Okay, more of a vignette than an actual story this time, but at least I made it all the way through without blowing up a ship!
    Lorna-Wing-sig.png
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  • knightraider6knightraider6 Member Posts: 396 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    patrickngo wrote: »
    So it took me longer than normal to figure out, and of course it's a Kevin Monroe story...
    (for those not in the know about Captain Monroe-he's a heavyworlder, and almost morbidly obese-at least, looking. Imagine a shaved grizzly bear with a man's face and a thick, Riker-esque beard, all plumped up for winter...)

    Heh, loved the story. Would this heavy gravity world be anywhere near New Hong Kong? Of course, if the ones obsessed about his physical appearance ever did get him out of Starfleet, he could always be a zap gun for hire. :D
    http://www.airshipentertainment.com/buck.html
    "It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier." R.A.Heinlein

    "he's as dangerous as a ferret with a chainsaw."



  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    Some nice character development for Amanda there.
    Thanks, her past has always been something of a mystery, so with the last to LCs, I tried to reveal more about her, and figured that scene would be the ideal way to highlight a few more aspects of her past :)

    Though what I found the most interesting of all was the temporally-displaced lifeguard you threw in there.
    Glad you liked him :D I wanted to subvert the old trick of the temporally dislocated flourishing and Being Epic in their new surroundings like Buck Rogers, so showed someone with no Grand Plan beyond saving lives, and who adapted to their new time by essentially continuing their old one, rather than becoming Starfleet's new Rising Star :cool:
  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    jonsills wrote: »
    Okay, more of a vignette than an actual story this time, but at least I made it all the way through without blowing up a ship!
    Very nice entry, and a great way of meeting the new meat :cool:
    patrickngo wrote: »
    So it took me longer than normal to figure out, and of course it's a Kevin Monroe story...
    (for those not in the know about Captain Monroe-he's a heavyworlder, and almost morbidly obese-at least, looking. Imagine a shaved grizzly bear with a man's face and a thick, Riker-esque beard, all plumped up for winter...)
    Excellent piece, I like the sound of New London :cool:
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  • malkarrismalkarris Member Posts: 797 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    @flightofcrimson: Nice story, very funny. And I have to agree that the idea of Drake in trunks or anything less than a full uniform is kinda scarry.

    @danqueller: And the fallout, nicely done. I find that you have a good grasp of the Romulan side of things.

    @knightraider6: Another good story, and Polekitty gets some relaxing in. I have to ask, did you take the character from a superher MMO? Sorry if its been asked before. Also, interesting take on the state fo Earth, kinda reminds me of the worlds of the the Republic of Haven in the Honor Harrington books, but if it turned out better, slightly.

    Also, the idea of Klingon's liking My Little Pony is too funny to not be true. Would you mind if I barrowed the idea sometime?

    @rextorvan36: I sense more story here. What is there is good, but I have to know, why is she afraid fo Risa?

    @jonsills: Ah Grunt, he's grown on me. And the ship didn't blow up, even better. So the question must be asked, exactly how is he going to get a Galaxy class ship, considering that they aren't that old, and tradition requires that it be a piece of junk? A good story, and good introductions to the new crew. Ruben seems very laid back, thought with a Caitian on my arm I probably would be as well.

    @patrickngo: I'm liking Captain Monroe as well, very much the gentleman adventurer sort I think. Also expains how Starfleet captains keep picking up Cardasian personel. Entertaining story.

    As to the topic of Dividian gender, IMHO, I think that it is totaly possible that they would have male and female equivalents, but equally possible that they don't, and also equally possible that they don't have anything similar but still have some sort of gender. Devidians are up there with being among the most alien of the Star Trek aliens so really anything could go. The couple seen in Time's Arrow could have been friends, brother's in arms, lovers, and none of the above really proves or disproves what gender they could have been, after all Human's have same gender partners, so why not them? And indeed, they could be hermaphroditic, or genderless and still be in love or lust.

    On the other hand, they could have chosen the male and female forms as they researched enough into the 1800 on Earth to realize that two males or females walking around together everywhere would draw too much attenction.
    Joined September 2011
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  • knightraider6knightraider6 Member Posts: 396 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    malkarris wrote: »

    @knightraider6: Another good story, and Polekitty gets some relaxing in. I have to ask, did you take the character from a superher MMO? Sorry if its been asked before. Also, interesting take on the state fo Earth, kinda reminds me of the worlds of the the Republic of Haven in the Honor Harrington books, but if it turned out better, slightly.

    Also, the idea of Klingon's liking My Little Pony is too funny to not be true. Would you mind if I barrowed the idea sometime?

    yeah, she was from City of Heroes. couldn't quite make the same character work in Champions, and fooling around in character creation here I came up with her duplicate. So since part of the lore from COH is interdimensional portals going everywhere, she got shoved through to one the STO universe.

    As for the Klingons loving MLP, go for it. (though in the translation is not friendship, but Honor that is Magic :D )
    "It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier." R.A.Heinlein

    "he's as dangerous as a ferret with a chainsaw."



  • danquellerdanqueller Member Posts: 506 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    patrickngo wrote: »
    Ah, a reader of taste and sophistication! (One might suppose that if there is a New Hong Kong, then yes, Mr. Monroe's homeworld is somewhere close to it...)

    Isn't everywhere close to New Hong Kong? :)

    Though, I think if we ever see Psmith in DS9, I'll be glad I have warp drive. :)
  • malkarrismalkarris Member Posts: 797 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    As for the Klingons loving MLP, go for it. (though in the translation is not friendship, but Honor that is Magic :D )

    Thanks. And figures, thought I am guessing that Rainbow Dash is still 20 percent cooler.
    Joined September 2011
    Nouveau riche LTS member
  • danquellerdanqueller Member Posts: 506 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    malkarris wrote: »
    Thanks. And figures, thought I am guessing that Rainbow Dash is still 20 percent cooler.

    Hmmm...and here, I thought the Ponie Chamber was the equivilant to the Agonizer Booth for the KDF. ;)
  • aten66aten66 Member Posts: 654 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    yeah, she was from City of Heroes. couldn't quite make the same character work in Champions, and fooling around in character creation here I came up with her duplicate. So since part of the lore from COH is interdimensional portals going everywhere, she got shoved through to one the STO universe.
    )

    Cool, and here I was thinking I was the only one who put a CoH character into the game! Have any other stories on her? I loved your writing!
  • knightraider6knightraider6 Member Posts: 396 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    aten66 wrote: »
    Cool, and here I was thinking I was the only one who put a CoH character into the game! Have any other stories on her? I loved your writing!


    thanks, she was in a couple earlier LC's 38 and 40 I think. She'll also probably show up in the Schrodi story I'm doing now as well.
    "It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier." R.A.Heinlein

    "he's as dangerous as a ferret with a chainsaw."



  • cmdrscarletcmdrscarlet Member Posts: 5,137 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    @danqueller - Heck. Yes. That was just awesome! I want to say more but whew!

    @knightraider6 - Longish but liked it! If you recall, I'm also from CoX and Kathryn is a pull-over as well, but as a new start. Anyway, the conversation between Sandra and Rhonda was really well done.

    @rextorvan36 - I agree, there is more. MOAR!

    @jonsills - Grunt is awesome but I'm a fan of Ruben. Like right now. This guy needs more press time.

    @patrickngo - Where did Kevin Monroe come from?! This story just came out of nowhere and it was fun to read :)
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  • rextorvan36rextorvan36 Member Posts: 150 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    malkarris wrote: »
    @rextorvan36: I sense more story here. What is there is good, but I have to know, why is she afraid fo Risa?

    That just the thing. To me it seems as if the Romulan survivors had very little time for festivities. Also, Eris is/was originally from Virinat. The last time she went to a party, well....
  • gulberatgulberat Member Posts: 5,505 Arc User
    edited July 2013
    danqueller wrote: »
    Well, we didn't really see enough to know, so your interpretation is as good as any other. However, that reaction could be from being siblings, learner/teacher, or just part of a close working team. Like I said, I don't see their states really making gender possible, but certainly something that would translate into that kind of difference when they took Human appearances would be very believable.

    Ultimately, it's what the person writing the story wants it to be. I think it was just lazy writing on the part of the scriptwriter for the episode. It's a lot easier to make aliens just different versions of people than it is to make them truly different from what we normally experience every day, and ST is notorious for this shortcut.

    Of course, that's not to say that it can't be that they do have exactly the situation you decided to make in your own story, so your idea is as valid as mine. Science Fiction is about possibilities, not the elimination of them :)

    Right--and just as you say different or no gender is possible, I also think it is possible that typical sexual dimorphism need not exist. We all know what Marta had to say on that subject in Star Trek 6. Add to that, if we are talking about a species that does not nurse its young, that could make males and females WAY harder to distinguish. That was the idea I opted for--what you might call an oviparous species.

    Unfortunately with so many rubber forehead aliens, it was assumed all species with two genders had the same sexual dimorphism as us, which need not be. So I saw no reason not to assign gender--but with the caveat that in natural form the distinction would be far less obvious, perhaps even to the point where, similar to Earth's cats the difference is far more obvious in behavior than appearance.

    Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
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