No problem. Just be warned, its not to be taken seriously. And some of the reviews on there are from the very first version of it. Its taken me about 16 hours of total time to get it to where it is at now. Thats with the learning curve of learning the foundry from scratch.
Its best viewed with a beer at a good knowledge of 50s Scifi serials.
Hi Desdecardo,
I was about to review your mission, Blood of the Paw but cannot find it in the list. I searched by Title, author, and by Project ID with no luck. Did you pull it or did it not get put back in when they republished the missions post Season 6? Let me know. In the meantime I am going to move to the next mission in the queue and will come back to yours if I get the go ahead from you.
I am getting ready to start reviewing Blood of the Paw, by Desdecardo and getting into the rest of the queue this morning. This mission is not actually ready to be reviewed yet correct?
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
It doesn't even quite exist yet. I just wanted to give you a heads-up
Infinite possibilities have implications that could not be completely understood if you turned this entire universe into a giant supercomputer.
I have completed my 9th mission and humbly submit it to you for review.
Title: ABI-Artificial Borg Intelligence
By: Duke-of-Rock
Level: 16+
Starting location: Andoria system
I created this mission based on some inspiration to combine a little early 21st century with the future in STO and the conflict with the Borg.
I also made it possible for lower levels to play it using costumed characters. It seems there are just not any Borg missions for lower levels with the exception of the Red alerts or the tutorial, so I adapted to give the lower levels the capability to enjoy a Borg mission.
Summary: This is a great mission from the map designs, through the battles, story dialogue, and mission interactions. I hardly notice the length of the mission as I was thoroughly drawn into the story. Your use of the current stories in the media to build the story was very well done. Also your use of skinned creatures to bring the Borg to life without raising the level of the mission is very well done. If the in game rating system was working I would give this mission a 5 star rating. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who like the combination of great maps, fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. You will enjoy this mission.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Andoria System: This is a nice map design but I am not sure it is necessary to the story. The player flies into the system and rendezvous with the ship then beams over. I think this could be accomplished at the mission entry point and remove this map without negatively affecting the story. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Captain Furtok?s Ready Room: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Cyber K10 System: This is a good map design with some fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the position of the vortex. When executing the map change to go through the vortex the ship suddenly turns to the right and warps away. This is most likely caused by the software not wanting the ship to warp through a solid object such as the moon behind the vortex.
Earth 21st Century: This is a nice map design. Consider expanding the story a little more by adding the probe, and have the player approach it, then scan it as part of the mission. It does not need to be far away. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The emergence from the vortex is slightly off center from the vortex.
Unmanned Probe: This is a good map design with fun puzzles and excellent story dialogue. There may have been battles on this map but I apparently got the puzzles right and did not set them off. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The post "Establish a link with the data console" dialogue; the response button "Of course not" does not seem to match the dialogue.
Earth 21st Century - The Escape: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue and the vortex effect and exit are nicely done. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Time Vortex Wormhole: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue and although the creatures apparently had nothing to do with the story it was still interesting. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Cyber K10 System - The Return: This is a great map design with fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-When the complex explodes there is no blast. If you set up explosions the "Safe distance" could be too far away for the player to see it.
Cyber K10: This is a great map design with fun battles and excellent story interaction and dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The dialogue response to "I need to disable the Borg power generator first" response button; consider changing "Siganl us when you are prepared to activate them" to read "Signal us when you are prepared to activate them".
Cyber K10 System - Ending the Threat: This is a great map design with some fun battles and excellent story dialogue. The only thing I would caution you on is the Captain Furtok statements regarding the logic of the player. This could bring negative feedback from Vulcan players, despite the fact that you cannot design dialogue for every type of player. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission. As always I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Summary: This is an interesting mission with a lot of potential. The map designs appeared to work as intended except as noted below. The story dialogue appeared to be mostly intended as place holders for future development along with the interactions and battles. I am not sure what else I can do for the review of this mission as the in game rating system is down, but good luck in the challenge.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is an intriguing description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue is well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "I am about to tell you something that cannot leave this channel" to read "I am about to tell you something that cannot be discussed with anyone outside of your crew".
Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the entry button "Warp into the System; take precation" to read "Warp into the System; take precautions".
MAPS: Planet Orbit: This is an interesting map design. The story dialogue, as you said seemed to not make sense. It was almost as if they are place holders. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the spawn point to face the "1000 Year Old Ship".
Old Ship: The map is a very simple design with a few tough but fun battles. The story dialogue again felt as if it is intended as a place holder and did not really make a lot of sense. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The panel inside the last room seems to be further back in the wall then you intended it to be.
Space: This is a very simple map design with a good fight and very simple dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the spawn point to face the "1000 Year Old Ship".
Starfleet Research Facility - Caved: This is a simple map design with dialogue that appears to be intended as place holders for further development. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the optional dialogue to triggered dialogue that goes away after the player has interacted with it.
-The map transfer at the end of the map is the default "Go to Next Map" dialogue and response button. This appears to be a test of the new "Cryptic" map insertion feature in the Foundry. If so it still needs refinement as the entry into the Chiron system appears once you are in sector space. This is a step up from having to actually tell the player to beam up to go to sector space or another Cryptic map.
Deep Space Nine (Cryptic Map): This is a good use of the Cryptic map in the story but as with the others the dialogue appears to be place holders for development. The mission did not end once I clicked response button "Exit Report: Finish Mission". There were no further instructions to do anything else in the mission so I had to drop it. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. This mission has a great deal of potential to be a great mission. I am sure you can develop it into a good entry in the Foundry Challenge. Good luck and as always I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
The Story is meant to be set up for future development...
I am still refining the dialogue.
In fact. I have new details regarding the new mission.
Title: 2413: The Time for War
Faction: Federation
Level: TBA
Description: The Klingon, Borg, Tholian, and Mirror Universe threat has escalated. Starfleet seeks an ally. That ally may come in the form of the Dominion. The problem is, they are involved in another war. Can you sway them with the promise of returning all ships that were captured during then Dominion war, and the debt that they owe you for saving a founder?
Still working out the description, and have begun the preliminary outline. I estimate that it will be ready for publishing in November - January (depending on how fast I can think of the rest of the story.)
" Nature Decays, but latinum lasts forever." Original Handle: @Q400 Join Date: December 2010
I'd stumbled upon this thread and I have to say I'm even more eager to finish my new mission now. Though, sadly, there's a few maps missing from the Foundry preventing me from doing so.
But once the maps go back in and I finish it, I'll definitely post the information here!
Thanks for the review Brian, I am glad you enjoyed the mission. I really went out on a limb a bit with the tie-ins to current day issues.
When I completed the "creature", I really had to think hard how to make it seem feasible to fit in to a Star Trek story, so I am glad you feel I did an apt job of it. I will change around the vortex entry when I get a chance, as it makes sense why it turns and warps out. Never really considered the moon would cause it to do that so thanks for the suggestion, and thanks for catching my typo at the end.
With the build and all the triggers involved with that map, it was my longest undertaking to date. The creature itself took over 2 weeks to construct and get it close to looking the way I wanted it.
Again, I appreciate the review. I plan on doing a follow up "daily" mission with the creature so I'll let you know when I have it completed. Going to Vegas Thursday for the convention with the wife. It will be my first and I'm really excited about meeting friends and others with associations to Star Trek. Maybe I will catch my "inspiration" for the next mission I will build.
Thanks again.
Craig aka: Duke-of-Rock
ABI-Artificial Borg Intelligence by Duke-of-Rock Available on Holodeck
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Also play Spawn of Medusa - The 5 Part series
by Duke-of-Rock Available on Holodeck
The Story is meant to be set up for future development...
I am still refining the dialogue.
In fact. I have new details regarding the new mission.
Title: 2413: The Time for War
Faction: Federation
Level: TBA
Description: The Klingon, Borg, Tholian, and Mirror Universe threat has escalated. Starfleet seeks an ally. That ally may come in the form of the Dominion. The problem is, they are involved in another war. Can you sway them with the promise of returning all ships that were captured during then Dominion war, and the debt that they owe you for saving a founder?
Still working out the description, and have begun the preliminary outline. I estimate that it will be ready for publishing in November - January (depending on how fast I can think of the rest of the story.)
Glad I could help. That looks like it will be a fun mission based on the description. I look forward to playing/reviewing it when it is ready.
I'd stumbled upon this thread and I have to say I'm even more eager to finish my new mission now. Though, sadly, there's a few maps missing from the Foundry preventing me from doing so.
But once the maps go back in and I finish it, I'll definitely post the information here!
Thanks for the review Brian, I am glad you enjoyed the mission. I really went out on a limb a bit with the tie-ins to current day issues.
When I completed the "creature", I really had to think hard how to make it seem feasible to fit in to a Star Trek story, so I am glad you feel I did an apt job of it. I will change around the vortex entry when I get a chance, as it makes sense why it turns and warps out. Never really considered the moon would cause it to do that so thanks for the suggestion, and thanks for catching my typo at the end.
With the build and all the triggers involved with that map, it was my longest undertaking to date. The creature itself took over 2 weeks to construct and get it close to looking the way I wanted it.
Again, I appreciate the review. I plan on doing a follow up "daily" mission with the creature so I'll let you know when I have it completed. Going to Vegas Thursday for the convention with the wife. It will be my first and I'm really excited about meeting friends and others with associations to Star Trek. Maybe I will catch my "inspiration" for the next mission I will build.
Thanks again.
Craig aka: Duke-of-Rock
It was a fun mission and I thought you did a great job tying it all together with a present day twist.
I have begun designing and assembling the components for the long-awaited "Ghosts of War, Part V" - but before I begin developing Part V in earnest, I will be remastering Parts I-IV, beginning, of course, with Part I, which I have just re-published.
Unfortunately as it turned out, the upgrades we got weren't quite what I needed to overhaul the first map the way I wanted, so I ended up only making cosmetic changes (albeit a ton of them) to that map. Most of the other changes I made were at the tail end of the mission, and yes, those changes will propagate into Parts II-IV.
Anyhoo, here is the mission info. Please have another look at it when you get the chance, O Evil One.
Mission Name: Ghosts of War, Part I
Author: paxfederatica, formerly known as the author NCC-89471
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Starfleet
ST-HBPDJHGFE
Estimated Mission Length: 20-30 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Post to this forum thread
I have begun designing and assembling the components for the long-awaited "Ghosts of War, Part V" - but before I begin developing Part V in earnest, I will be remastering Parts I-IV, beginning, of course, with Part I, which I have just re-published.
Unfortunately as it turned out, the upgrades we got weren't quite what I needed to overhaul the first map the way I wanted, so I ended up only making cosmetic changes (albeit a ton of them) to that map. Most of the other changes I made were at the tail end of the mission, and yes, those changes will propagate into Parts II-IV.
Anyhoo, here is the mission info. Please have another look at it when you get the chance, O Evil One.
Mission Name: Ghosts of War, Part I
Author: paxfederatica, formerly known as the author NCC-89471
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Starfleet
ST-HBPDJHGFE
Estimated Mission Length: 20-30 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Post to this forum thread
Hey pax,
Thanks for the re-review request for this mission. I look forward to seeing the changes you have made and the updates. I will try to get to this tonight or first thing in the morning.
Are you willing to do absurdly long missions? I finally got a chance to republish Treasure Hunt. Hmm.... maybe if I drop the enemy numbers I'd be quicker. I dunno why the Autorepublish didn't work on it, but the mission doesn't seem to be damaged.
Mission Name: Treasure Hunt
Author: marhawkman
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Starfleet
Estimated Mission Length: 1 hour+
Method of Report Delivery: Post to this forum thread
I have begun designing and assembling the components for the long-awaited "Ghosts of War, Part V" - but before I begin developing Part V in earnest, I will be remastering Parts I-IV, beginning, of course, with Part I, which I have just re-published.
Unfortunately as it turned out, the upgrades we got weren't quite what I needed to overhaul the first map the way I wanted, so I ended up only making cosmetic changes (albeit a ton of them) to that map. Most of the other changes I made were at the tail end of the mission, and yes, those changes will propagate into Parts II-IV.
Anyhoo, here is the mission info. Please have another look at it when you get the chance, O Evil One.
Mission Name: Ghosts of War, Part I
Author: paxfederatica, formerly known as the author NCC-89471
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Starfleet
ST-HBPDJHGFE
Estimated Mission Length: 20-30 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Post to this forum thread
Federation Mission - Ghosts of War series Part I: Dust To Dust (Re-review)
Author: paxfederatica, formerly known as the author NCC-89471
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HBPDJHGFE
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission and seems to have survived the season 6 upgrade. I noted some of the updates you made using the new Foundry functionality. The map designs are good with several challenging battles and excellent story dialogue. The mission length is probably closer to 60 + minutes with the dialogue and combat combined. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who like a good story with their mission.
Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is an intriguing description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue with just enough of a story to draw the player in and make them want to click the "Hail" button.
Mission Task: This is a good initial description with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: 1: CA-115 - Space: This is a nice map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-I think you are using the "Weather Starstreaks North South 01" effect, which only works if the player is traveling at higher speeds in a northerly direction on the map. Consider changing the map set up so the spawn point is to the east of the array facing west towards the array. Then use the "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect. Set up a "Drop from warp" interaction in the story using an "Invisible Object" which comes in 10Fft through 1000ft size. The interaction animation you should use is the "Warp In - Federation" effect. Then you set the "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" to disappear and all the array objects to appear when the "Component Complete" is achieved. This would mean you?ll also have to move the initial enemy mob encounter as well.
-The enemy mobs are a little close to each other which can force the player to engage both at the same time. For some players this might be a little overwhelming so consider spreading the mobs a little bit further apart.
2: Verena III - Space: This is a great map design with excellent explosive effects for the satellites. The story dialogue is excellent. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
3: Verena III - Ground: This is a good map design with several tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-If a player is playing this map with high detail they will still see "Alien" plant life spread across the map. I do not think there is much you can do about this except to go into the editor with high detail set and place rocks over the plants on the map. Beyond that I don?t think you can change it that much. I just wanted to make you aware of it.
-Consider adding respawn points further into the map, especially for the last battle.
4: Verena III - Space: This is a good map design with some fun battles. The story dialogue is excellent. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
5: Emborian Nebula - Space: This is a nice map design. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
6: Intel situation room - Interior: This is a good map design. The story dialogue is excellent and a good wrap to the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did really well with this mission and if the in game review system was functioning I would give it 5 stars. As always, I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Are you willing to do absurdly long missions? I finally got a chance to republish Treasure Hunt. Hmm.... maybe if I drop the enemy numbers I'd be quicker. I dunno why the Autorepublish didn't work on it, but the mission doesn't seem to be damaged.
Mission Name: Treasure Hunt
Author: marhawkman
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Starfleet
Estimated Mission Length: 1 hour+
Method of Report Delivery: Post to this forum thread
Hey marhawkman,
Thanks for the review request. You are next in the queue for review. I hope to get to it either later tonight or first thing in the morning.
Are you willing to do absurdly long missions? I finally got a chance to republish Treasure Hunt. Hmm.... maybe if I drop the enemy numbers I'd be quicker. I dunno why the Autorepublish didn't work on it, but the mission doesn't seem to be damaged.
Mission Name: Treasure Hunt
Author: marhawkman
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Starfleet
Estimated Mission Length: 1 hour+
Method of Report Delivery: Post to this forum thread
Summary: This is a good mission, although as you stated it is very long. The map designs are good and the story dialogue is well written throughout. I did notice that you went from "Vorn Ground#2" to "Vorn Ground#4" with the "green cave" and "Gorath Cave" in between. I was thinking you might have changed the map or deleted the "Vorn Ground#3" map at some point and just missed that.
Most of the battles are pretty tough and without respawn points deeper into the maps it can be very hard to beat the enemy. Several of those battles are really tough on Normal level so I would not try them on Elite as they would most likely be impossible. I would still recommend this mission to other players who like great map designs combined with tough battles and an intriguing story.
On the Vorn Ground map and the Final Vault map the player fights Jem'Hadar troops and on the rest of the other ground and cave maps the player fights Cardassian troops. This seemed odd to me as I played through the mission. The last map enemy mobs seemed to fit in with the overall mission wrap up I felt you were going for.
I have not mentioned this recently but your use of the response button "Continue" was a little excessive. I have seen it used in other missions that I recently reviewed but most of them here felt out of place. Even though I have noted the excessive use of the response button "Continue" in Cryptic missions it still feels odd to me when playing through a mission. That is why I point it out in my reviews. Consider changing most of them to some response more appropriate to the dialogue.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: Realizing you are still completing some of the elements for this mission the description needs more of a story to draw the player in and make them want to click the "Hail" button. I noted no spelling errors with this description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Realizing this is just a note but consider changing "this project is not" to read "This project is not".
Grant Mission Dialogue: Realizing you are still completing some of the elements for this mission the grant dialogue needs more of a story to draw the player in and make them want to "Accept" this mission. The dialogue that follows the grant dialogue would be good in the grant dialogue field. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: When you are done developing this mission make sure you include the start location for the first custom map in the initial task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt. I noted one item to consider changing;
-In the grant dialogue you indicate that a "Transwarp Gate" had been found, but on arrival at Wolf 359 we simply beam down to the planet. This feels a little odd with no explanation to cover it. Consider changing the story so instead of a transwarp gate it could be a planetoid discovered in the Wolf 359 system that appears to have been terraformed by Borg nanites.
MAPS: Vorn Ground: This is a good map design with some tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider adding a "Borg Beaming" animation effect to the "Bypass the first Borg Barrier" interaction.
-Consider adding a "Typing Wall Console" effect to the "Turn off the Forcefield" interaction.
-The post "Turn off the Forcefield" dialogue; consider changing the response button "that can't be good for the plants" to read "That can't be good for the plants".
-Consider changing the mission tasks "use the first console" through "use the last console" to read "Use the first console" through "Use the last console".
-For those tasks consider changing the default "Interact" button to read "Access console" or something along those lines.
-The post "use the last console" dialogue; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "Let's go" or something along those lines.
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Enter vault" to read "The vault is unlocked".
-Consider changing the response button "enter" to read "Here we go" or something along those lines.
firey cave: This is a good map design with several tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the map name "firey cave" to read "Fiery Cave".
-The initial dialogue; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "On our way" or something along those lines.
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Return to the valley" to read "We should continue exploring the valley" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button from the default "Go to Next Map" to read "Agreed" or something along those lines.
Vorn Ground#2: This is a good map design with several tough battles and the last one is very tough. I would not recommend this on Elite. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The initial dialogue; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "Let's go" or something along those lines.
-The secondary dialogue with the Away Team Engineer; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "Understood" or something along those lines. From this point forward I will note the maps where the response button "Continue" is used in situation where another response might fit better.
-The "Destroy the Borg energy relay" task; consider changing the task to an initial setup followed by a move back to a safe distance from the relay before triggering the "cross circuit converter" action. That would prevent the player or away team from getting caught in the debris and then you could remove the warning in the previous dialogue.
-If you already have an explosion effect in "cross circuit converter" action consider changing it as it does not appear to work. If you have not added one consider doing so as it would add to the effect of the relay being destroyed.
-Consider changing the interaction button "cross circuit converter" to read "Cross circuit converter".
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map, especially near the last battle.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "enter the vault" to read "Ready to enter the next vault" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button "Enter" to read "Let's see what's in here" or something along those lines.
green cave: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the map name "green cave" to read "Green Cave".
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider changing the mission task "enter door to next cave section" to read "Enter door to next cave section".
-Consider changing the interaction button "enter door" to read "Open door".
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Go to the next set of chambers" to read "We should continue exploring this cave" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button from the default "Go to Next Map" to read "Agreed" or something along those lines.
Gorath Cave: This is a great map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-For the "Turn off the forcefield barrier" consider changing the default "Interact" button to read "Access console" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the mission task "disengage the containment field" to read "Disengage the containment field"
-Consider changing all of the default "Interact" buttons to read "Access console" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the mission task "scan the containment field" to read "Scan the containment field".
-Since the mission task is "scan the containment field" consider changing the button to "Scan", or change the task to "Disable the containment field".
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Exit cave" to read "We should continue exploring the valley" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button from the default "Go to Next Map" to read "Agreed" or something along those lines.
Vorn Ground#4: This is a good map design with some tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-On previous maps "Tetin" gave a brief description of what the player needed to do but this map uses the player's NPC Tactical Officer. The NPC Tactical Officer starts off talking about the forces between the player and the "barrier" that would have been mentioned by "Tetin" as on the previous ground maps.
-The Tactical Officer dialogue; consider changing "There's a bunch more ground troops" to read "There's several ground troops".
-Consider changing the mission task "reach the other end" to read "Reach the other end".
-The "Turn off the barrier" mission task was interesting.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Continue to the next objective" to read "The barrier is down" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button from the default "Go to Next Map" to read "Let's go" or something along those lines.
Vorn Ground#5: This is an interesting map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing mission task "touch beacon 1" through "touch beacon 4" to read "Access beacon 1" through "Access beacon 4".
-Consider changing the interaction buttons from the default "Interact" to read "Access beacon 1" and so on.
-The way you placed the consoles in hard to get to places was very intriguing at first, but after spending a lot of time trying to find each console it became tedious.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Enter Vault" to read "The vault door is unlocked" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button from the default "Go to Next Map" to read "Here we go" or something along those lines.
Final Vault: This is a good map design with some tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The post "Move closer to the energy readings" dialogue; consider changing the response button "okay" to read "Okay".
-Consider changing the response button "fight" to read "Fight".
-Consider changing the "Go to the source of the anomalous readings" interaction button "Interact" to read "Scan" or something along those lines.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer. This would make more sense since it is the Science Officer Away Team who scans the portal.
Subspace Corridor: This is a good map design with several tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The initial dialogue; consider changing response button "so that's what the Changeling was so scared of" to read "So that's what the Changeling was so scared of".
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job with this mission despite the fact it is really long. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Mission Name: Worlds Apart
Author: @ltbarber
Minimum Level: All Levels
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HI9EQ6ZGB
Estimated Mission Length: 40-60mins
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post and ingame mail if you can manage it please.
Vorn Ground#3 was much like the last Vorn segment, but..... harder.... in retrospect, too hard. I had fun ideas for what to do with the map, but I had issues with getting my ideas to actually work and eventually dumped the idea. My attempts to make it work ended up creating a jumbled mess of a map. I didn't delete the map, it took hours to arrange the stuff and I didn't want to destroy it. I simply removed all the objectives.
In case you're wondering, my Foundry Char is an Andorian named Tetin and the park ranger NPC that I used for the picture looks like her. So, when talking to the Tetin char in the story you're basically talking to my Foundry char.
Continue: yeah, I need to redo that.
Capitalization: that too.
more spawn points? not a bad idea. especially on the combat maps.
Vorn1: good ideas on the animations. I didn't think of that earlier.
I had the wrong Sci officer? huh... Maybe it's an artifact of this being my second foundry mission. I created it either during or before season 4 was released. IIRC back then the sci officer prompt didn't have an away team option.
Vorn2: good idea on the converter, it makes sense and it avoids that dumb glitch. Fun fact: if you stand on top of the converter when it blows the game actually moves you to a point about 10 yard from the convertor when it replaces the object. Why can't it do that when you stand inside it? Explosion? I'll have to check.
Vorn4: hunh... I left out Tetin? oops...
Vorn5: Tedious... Hmm.... this is one of those maps where I wish I could add walkways. It would have made several aspects easier. And why did they have to put that stupid mushroom in the middle? Btw did you notice that there's two paths around the mushroom? The second path isn't easy to use or easily visible. I really wish I could have added a few catwalks to this map. Do you think it might help to add a short description of the beacon locations to the mission dialog?
Why Jem'Hadar? I didn't have a good reason to use a specific faction, and the idea I was working with was that the enemy force was a mix of the two... but that's not explained in the story at all.
Thanks again for the review. I'm glad you liked it as much as you did.
Mission Name: Worlds Apart
Author: @ltbarber
Minimum Level: All Levels
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HI9EQ6ZGB
Estimated Mission Length: 40-60mins
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post and ingame mail if you can manage it please.
Thanks Evil
Hey angelgiga, aka ltbarber,
Thanks for the review request. I?m working evenings this week so I have some time in the mornings to play. I will try to get to this today, if not tomorrow. I?ll post here and will try to send it to you via in-game email.
Vorn Ground#3 was much like the last Vorn segment, but..... harder.... in retrospect, too hard. I had fun ideas for what to do with the map, but I had issues with getting my ideas to actually work and eventually dumped the idea. My attempts to make it work ended up creating a jumbled mess of a map. I didn't delete the map, it took hours to arrange the stuff and I didn't want to destroy it. I simply removed all the objectives.
The details on the Vorn Ground maps are quite well done. The reason I mentioned it was I thought you had replaced it and forgot to rename the other maps. Perhaps rename it and the others just so they fall in line with each other.
In case you're wondering, my Foundry Char is an Andorian named Tetin and the park ranger NPC that I used for the picture looks like her. So, when talking to the Tetin char in the story you're basically talking to my Foundry char.
At first I wondered why the NPC was there talking to me, but got used to it pretty quickly.
more spawn points? not a bad idea. especially on the combat maps.
Vorn1: good ideas on the animations. I didn't think of that earlier.
I had the wrong Sci officer? huh... Maybe it's an artifact of this being my second foundry mission. I created it either during or before season 4 was released. IIRC back then the sci officer prompt didn't have an away team option.
Those respawn points will help the players enjoy the mission more on the combat maps so they do not have to run all the way across a map to find the bad guy back at full strength. You still have a couple of the maps with some pretty tough enemy mobs, which is why I would not recommend players do this mission on Elite. It was tough enough on Normal.
The Science Officer Away Team would make more sense. For all the NPC input you should make sure they are Away Team unless it is a ship specific contact. The lack of option for that NPC was probably a glitch, and I did not notice because I was busy reviewing rather than creating.
Vorn2: good idea on the converter, it makes sense and it avoids that dumb glitch. Fun fact: if you stand on top of the converter when it blows the game actually moves you to a point about 10 yard from the convertor when it replaces the object. Why can't it do that when you stand inside it? Explosion? I'll have to check.
Most likely because one position is on top of the object and the other is essentially underneath it. So when the program makes the debris appear and the converter disappears it bumps the one on top away while trapping the one beneath it. Kind of like when you spawn on a Cryptic map and someone else spawns shortly after you in the same spot. It bumps you or them out of the way of the other so you are not right on top of each other. I've seen this in other games before.
The explosion would add to the effect of the destruction of the converter and would add to the story.
Vorn5: Tedious... Hmm.... this is one of those maps where I wish I could add walkways. It would have made several aspects easier. And why did they have to put that stupid mushroom in the middle? Btw did you notice that there's two paths around the mushroom? The second path isn't easy to use or easily visible. I really wish I could have added a few catwalks to this map. Do you think it might help to add a short description of the beacon locations to the mission dialog?
It would be much easier if there were walkways and more steps that you could use to build it with. With no clear walkways or steps it is left to the player to figure out how to proceed. With so many points to reach and in so many locations it made it difficult to find. In the end I spent almost 30 minutes trying to find a path to all the objectives. That is why I said it became tedious. A good puzzle is always fun but not one that takes 30 minutes to complete. I noted that at several points I could have fallen off the structure, which would have made it even longer to find the objectives. I brought the whole thing up because if your players get bored they will likely drop a mission.
Why Jem'Hadar? I didn't have a good reason to use a specific faction, and the idea I was working with was that the enemy force was a mix of the two... but that's not explained in the story at all.
In general a mix of forces does not work without a good reason that is briefly explained in the story dialogue. Usually it is better to pick one and stick to it unless the story really needs it to drive it forward. The story could be the "Trueway forces found out about the vaults and sent their people to investigate and find weapons" or something along those lines. Of course the same could be done for "Jem'Hadar" forces as well. As long as the player knows that from the story dialogue they will not think you put the wrong enemy mob in. This could be explained by adding to Tetin's dialogue. Something at the start of the mission like; "Intelligence indicates that both Trueway and Jem'Hadar forces have taken an interest in this planet and the vaults as a potential weapons resource". That would be a simple one line piece of dialogue that opens you up to add the enemy mobs you want for any of the maps.
It would be much easier if there were walkways and more steps that you could use to build it with. With no clear walkways or steps it is left to the player to figure out how to proceed. With so many points to reach and in so many locations it made it difficult to find. In the end I spent almost 30 minutes trying to find a path to all the objectives. That is why I said it became tedious. A good puzzle is always fun but not one that takes 30 minutes to complete. I noted that at several points I could have fallen off the structure, which would have made it even longer to find the objectives. I brought the whole thing up because if your players get bored they will likely drop a mission.
yeah falling off is a problem all right. It only takes me a few seconds to run to all 4 points, but... I know where they are, and the easiest ways to get to them. hmm.... what do you think about adding hint text on how to get to them?
I should be able to go back and fix the Sci officers. I hadn't really noticed before. Tetin's Away team sci guy is the same as her space.
Thanks again for your latest review of "Ghosts of War, Part I". I probably won't have you re-review my changes, but I thought I'd quickly respond to your comments.
MAPS: 1: CA-115 - Space: This is a nice map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-I think you are using the "Weather Starstreaks North South 01" effect, which only works if the player is traveling at higher speeds in a northerly direction on the map. Consider changing the map set up so the spawn point is to the east of the array facing west towards the array. Then use the "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect. Set up a "Drop from warp" interaction in the story using an "Invisible Object" which comes in 10Fft through 1000ft size. The interaction animation you should use is the "Warp In - Federation" effect. Then you set the "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" to disappear and all the array objects to appear when the "Component Complete" is achieved. This would mean you?ll also have to move the initial enemy mob encounter as well.
This might be doable, but tricky. For the redesign I didn't just space the nodes out more, I also shoved the array into the "northeastern" quadrant of the map (to give the player more room to maneuver in the initial battles; the original version put the center of the array at the dead center of the map). I may have to spawn right at the eastern edge of the map, or close to it, to make the change you suggest.
BTW, what I currently do is set up a bunch of invisible walls around the ship so that it is more or less locked into position (facing north) until you're done speaking with Adm. Youngs. Then I drop the walls and tell the player to move forward toward the approach point. Once that marker is reached, I simultaneously hide the starstreak effect and reveal the array nodes.
2: Verena III - Space: This is a great map design with excellent explosive effects for the satellites. The story dialogue is excellent. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Funny you mention this - from time to time I still see the "delayed explosion" problem that you once mentioned in a previous review of this mission. It's not quite as bad as it used to be, but it still does happen sometimes.
3: Verena III - Ground: This is a good map design with several tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-If a player is playing this map with high detail they will still see "Alien" plant life spread across the map. I do not think there is much you can do about this except to go into the editor with high detail set and place rocks over the plants on the map. Beyond that I don?t think you can change it that much. I just wanted to make you aware of it.
-Consider adding respawn points further into the map, especially for the last battle.
Thanks for mentioning the high-detail issue, as, of course, the planet is meant to be completely lifeless. I will see about placing rocks over the plants, at least in the areas of the map where the player is expected to go.
Do you review first attempts in review limbo? :rolleyes: With the rating system down, it would help to have an outside opinion.
Mission Name: Mindcrawlers
Author: k668
Minimum Level: 0
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HMSZD9EED
Estimated Mission Length: 30 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post
Peace.
Hi k668,
Thanks for the review request. I signed up a long time ago as a reviewer of content so, yes I can review your mission while the rating system is down, and you sit in rating limbo. Your mission is next in the queue for review and I hope to get to it tomorrow morning as I am currently working evenings this week so my review pattern is reversed.
yeah falling off is a problem all right. It only takes me a few seconds to run to all 4 points, but... I know where they are, and the easiest ways to get to them. hmm.... what do you think about adding hint text on how to get to them?
It is always easier to find them if you know where they are. As for hint text, that could work but part of the problem was the path to get to each one is not always clearly seen. For example, on the first steps to get up from the ground are Borg consoles buried in the wall. That may not catch the average player's eye right away. In those cases you may want to build stairs that are clearly stairs using blocks or something like that. As for some of the walkways, you could use the generic deck grates that are available in the Foundry to create elevated walkways. Those would also work for creating the steps.
Thanks again for your latest review of "Ghosts of War, Part I". I probably won't have you re-review my changes, but I thought I'd quickly respond to your comments.
This might be doable, but tricky. For the redesign I didn't just space the nodes out more, I also shoved the array into the "northeastern" quadrant of the map (to give the player more room to maneuver in the initial battles; the original version put the center of the array at the dead center of the map). I may have to spawn right at the eastern edge of the map, or close to it, to make the change you suggest.
BTW, what I currently do is set up a bunch of invisible walls around the ship so that it is more or less locked into position (facing north) until you're done speaking with Adm. Youngs. Then I drop the walls and tell the player to move forward toward the approach point. Once that marker is reached, I simultaneously hide the starstreak effect and reveal the array nodes.
The "Coming from warp" interaction animation would help make it feel more like the player is dropping out of warp. The rest of it works well but I wanted to suggest a way that it would work even better with the warp streaks.
Funny you mention this - from time to time I still see the "delayed explosion" problem that you once mentioned in a previous review of this mission. It's not quite as bad as it used to be, but it still does happen sometimes.
I think the first time I reviewed this mission Cryptic had not yet fixed the explosion effect for the space maps. So it would work in testing but not once the mission was published. Now it appears to be fixed and looks a lot better.
Thanks for mentioning the high-detail issue, as, of course, the planet is meant to be completely lifeless. I will see about placing rocks over the plants, at least in the areas of the map where the player is expected to go.
As always, I am glad I could help. My goal is to give constructive feedback that helps the author make a good mission. This helps to enrich the play environment for everyone.
Mission Name: Worlds Apart
Author: @ltbarber
Minimum Level: All Levels
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HI9EQ6ZGB
Estimated Mission Length: 40-60mins
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post and ingame mail if you can manage it please.
Summary: This is a good mission with nice map designs and several tough ground and space battles. I would not recommend this mission on Elite as some of the battles are very tough on Normal and would most likely be impossible on Elite. That said I would still recommend this mission to all players who like a good mix of dialogue, battles, and interaction objectives.
I would give this mission a 4 star rating as a good mission that is fun to play, but the in game rating system is currently down. Until that is back up and running you will not be able to get the minimum of 5 ratings, which means this mission can only be played by players who have signed up to "Review Content".
The puzzles you created were fun but not all players will like them. That is why I recommended adding "Skip" buttons. I usually recommend dialogue heavy missions add a "Skip Dialogue" button that provides the player with a summary of what the player needs to know in order to not be lost.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good and intriguing description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: The initial task should contain the start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS: Kassae System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-For the "Scan the First Satellite" task; consider adding a "Skip Math" or "Skip Puzzle" button for the player that does not want to do math or puzzles.
-For the "Scan the Second Satellite" task; consider adding a "Skip Puzzle" button for players who do not want to do puzzles.
-Consider moving the trigger point for the map transfer to the other side of the temporal distortion so the player has to fly into it. If triggered before it the ship pivots away from it and the warps out.
Kassae System: This is a good map design with s very tough battle and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The initial dialogue; consider changing "What is more, I am reading some cloaked Klingon signatures dead ahead" to read "I am picking up cloaked Klingon ships dead ahead".
-You placed two heavy enemy mobs right on top of the spawn point. Consider spreading out the enemy to give the player a chance.
U.S.S. Valkyrie Bridge: This is a good map design with well written dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
U.S.S. Valkyrie Deck 7: This is a good map design with some tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
U.S.S. Valkyrie Deck 15: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The mission task states, "Speak to Resistance Leader" the interact button states, "Talk to Rear Admiral Black". Is there a plot point I missed about a resistance movement?
-The post "Free Commander Najada" dialogue; consider changing "We simply can not have them roaming about the ship" to read "We simply cannot have them roaming about the ship".
-Consider placing respawn points further into the map near the end.
-The first "Calibrate Deflector Dish" task; consider adding a "Skip" button to bypass the riddle.
-The second "Calibrate Deflector Dish" task; consider adding a "Skip math" button for the player that does not want to do math.
-The third "Calibrate Deflector Dish" task; consider adding a "Skip math" button for the player that does not want to do math.
U.S.S. Valkyrie Bridge: This is a good map design with well written dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Kassae System: This is a good map design with some tough battles grouped together. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider balancing the battle by adding more reinforcements. By the time I wiped out one enemy force most of the reinforcements were destroyed and I ended up fighting the others by myself.
-Consider moving the trigger point for the map transfer to the other side of the temporal distortion so the player has to fly into it. If triggered before it the ship pivots away from it and the warps out.
Kassae System: This is a good map design with well written dialogue and a nice wrap up to the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job with this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
It is always easier to find them if you know where they are. As for hint text, that could work but part of the problem was the path to get to each one is not always clearly seen. For example, on the first steps to get up from the ground are Borg consoles buried in the wall. That may not catch the average player's eye right away. In those cases you may want to build stairs that are clearly stairs using blocks or something like that. As for some of the walkways, you could use the generic deck grates that are available in the Foundry to create elevated walkways. Those would also work for creating the steps.
Grate? Hmm... interesting idea. What is the specific item name? EDIT: there's only one item named "grate".
Anyways, I've been thinking about using the Borg blocks to disguise a giant ramp like the one in the top right part of the map. The big issue with falling off is how long it takes to get back up. If you can simply run up it's less of an issue.
Grate? Hmm... interesting idea. What is the specific item name? EDIT: there's only one item named "grate".
Anyways, I've been thinking about using the Borg blocks to disguise a giant ramp like the one in the top right part of the map. The big issue with falling off is how long it takes to get back up. If you can simply run up it's less of an issue.
The item is "Grate - Generic Ship 01" it is 5X4X1 and might work to build steps and platforms.
Comments
Hi Desdecardo,
I was about to review your mission, Blood of the Paw but cannot find it in the list. I searched by Title, author, and by Project ID with no luck. Did you pull it or did it not get put back in when they republished the missions post Season 6? Let me know. In the meantime I am going to move to the next mission in the queue and will come back to yours if I get the go ahead from you.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
It doesn't even quite exist yet. I just wanted to give you a heads-up
Infinite possibilities have implications that could not be completely understood if you turned this entire universe into a giant supercomputer.
Thanks for the heads up. Let me know when it is ready and I'll add it to the queue.
Brian
Federation Mission - ABI-Artificial Borg Intelligence
Author: Duke-of-Rock
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRWGS8SZV
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission from the map designs, through the battles, story dialogue, and mission interactions. I hardly notice the length of the mission as I was thoroughly drawn into the story. Your use of the current stories in the media to build the story was very well done. Also your use of skinned creatures to bring the Borg to life without raising the level of the mission is very well done. If the in game rating system was working I would give this mission a 5 star rating. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who like the combination of great maps, fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. You will enjoy this mission.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
Andoria System: This is a nice map design but I am not sure it is necessary to the story. The player flies into the system and rendezvous with the ship then beams over. I think this could be accomplished at the mission entry point and remove this map without negatively affecting the story. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Captain Furtok?s Ready Room: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Cyber K10 System: This is a good map design with some fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the position of the vortex. When executing the map change to go through the vortex the ship suddenly turns to the right and warps away. This is most likely caused by the software not wanting the ship to warp through a solid object such as the moon behind the vortex.
Earth 21st Century: This is a nice map design. Consider expanding the story a little more by adding the probe, and have the player approach it, then scan it as part of the mission. It does not need to be far away. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The emergence from the vortex is slightly off center from the vortex.
Unmanned Probe: This is a good map design with fun puzzles and excellent story dialogue. There may have been battles on this map but I apparently got the puzzles right and did not set them off.
-The post "Establish a link with the data console" dialogue; the response button "Of course not" does not seem to match the dialogue.
Earth 21st Century - The Escape: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue and the vortex effect and exit are nicely done. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Time Vortex Wormhole: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue and although the creatures apparently had nothing to do with the story it was still interesting. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Cyber K10 System - The Return: This is a great map design with fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-When the complex explodes there is no blast. If you set up explosions the "Safe distance" could be too far away for the player to see it.
Cyber K10: This is a great map design with fun battles and excellent story interaction and dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The dialogue response to "I need to disable the Borg power generator first" response button; consider changing "Siganl us when you are prepared to activate them" to read "Signal us when you are prepared to activate them".
Cyber K10 System - Ending the Threat: This is a great map design with some fun battles and excellent story dialogue. The only thing I would caution you on is the Captain Furtok statements regarding the logic of the player. This could bring negative feedback from Vulcan players, despite the fact that you cannot design dialogue for every type of player. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission. As always I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 08/05/2012 on forum posting for: ABI-Artificial Borg Intelligence.
Federation Mission - Mudds' Treasures
Author: Q400
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HBL2ES8IC
Report Start
Summary: This is an interesting mission with a lot of potential. The map designs appeared to work as intended except as noted below. The story dialogue appeared to be mostly intended as place holders for future development along with the interactions and battles. I am not sure what else I can do for the review of this mission as the in game rating system is down, but good luck in the challenge.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is an intriguing description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue is well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "I am about to tell you something that cannot leave this channel" to read "I am about to tell you something that cannot be discussed with anyone outside of your crew".
Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the entry button "Warp into the System; take precation" to read "Warp into the System; take precautions".
MAPS:
Planet Orbit: This is an interesting map design. The story dialogue, as you said seemed to not make sense. It was almost as if they are place holders. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the spawn point to face the "1000 Year Old Ship".
Old Ship: The map is a very simple design with a few tough but fun battles. The story dialogue again felt as if it is intended as a place holder and did not really make a lot of sense. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The panel inside the last room seems to be further back in the wall then you intended it to be.
Space: This is a very simple map design with a good fight and very simple dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the spawn point to face the "1000 Year Old Ship".
Starfleet Research Facility - Caved: This is a simple map design with dialogue that appears to be intended as place holders for further development. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the optional dialogue to triggered dialogue that goes away after the player has interacted with it.
-The map transfer at the end of the map is the default "Go to Next Map" dialogue and response button. This appears to be a test of the new "Cryptic" map insertion feature in the Foundry. If so it still needs refinement as the entry into the Chiron system appears once you are in sector space. This is a step up from having to actually tell the player to beam up to go to sector space or another Cryptic map.
Deep Space Nine (Cryptic Map): This is a good use of the Cryptic map in the story but as with the others the dialogue appears to be place holders for development. The mission did not end once I clicked response button "Exit Report: Finish Mission". There were no further instructions to do anything else in the mission so I had to drop it. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. This mission has a great deal of potential to be a great mission. I am sure you can develop it into a good entry in the Foundry Challenge. Good luck and as always I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
The Story is meant to be set up for future development...
I am still refining the dialogue.
In fact. I have new details regarding the new mission.
Title: 2413: The Time for War
Faction: Federation
Level: TBA
Description: The Klingon, Borg, Tholian, and Mirror Universe threat has escalated. Starfleet seeks an ally. That ally may come in the form of the Dominion. The problem is, they are involved in another war. Can you sway them with the promise of returning all ships that were captured during then Dominion war, and the debt that they owe you for saving a founder?
Still working out the description, and have begun the preliminary outline. I estimate that it will be ready for publishing in November - January (depending on how fast I can think of the rest of the story.)
Original Handle: @Q400
Join Date: December 2010
But once the maps go back in and I finish it, I'll definitely post the information here!
When I completed the "creature", I really had to think hard how to make it seem feasible to fit in to a Star Trek story, so I am glad you feel I did an apt job of it. I will change around the vortex entry when I get a chance, as it makes sense why it turns and warps out. Never really considered the moon would cause it to do that so thanks for the suggestion, and thanks for catching my typo at the end.
With the build and all the triggers involved with that map, it was my longest undertaking to date. The creature itself took over 2 weeks to construct and get it close to looking the way I wanted it.
Again, I appreciate the review. I plan on doing a follow up "daily" mission with the creature so I'll let you know when I have it completed. Going to Vegas Thursday
Thanks again.
Craig aka: Duke-of-Rock
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
by Duke-of-Rock Available on Holodeck
Glad I could help. That looks like it will be a fun mission based on the description. I look forward to playing/reviewing it when it is ready.
Brian
I will be here whenever you are ready.
Brian
It was a fun mission and I thought you did a great job tying it all together with a present day twist.
Have fun in Vegas.
Brian
Unfortunately as it turned out, the upgrades we got weren't quite what I needed to overhaul the first map the way I wanted, so I ended up only making cosmetic changes (albeit a ton of them) to that map. Most of the other changes I made were at the tail end of the mission, and yes, those changes will propagate into Parts II-IV.
Anyhoo, here is the mission info. Please have another look at it when you get the chance, O Evil One.
Mission Name: Ghosts of War, Part I
Author: paxfederatica, formerly known as the author NCC-89471
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Starfleet
ST-HBPDJHGFE
Estimated Mission Length: 20-30 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Post to this forum thread
My Foundry missions | My STO Wiki page | My Twitter home page
Hey pax,
Thanks for the re-review request for this mission. I look forward to seeing the changes you have made and the updates. I will try to get to this tonight or first thing in the morning.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Mission Name: Treasure Hunt
Author: marhawkman
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Starfleet
Estimated Mission Length: 1 hour+
Method of Report Delivery: Post to this forum thread
My character Tsin'xing
Federation Mission - Ghosts of War series Part I: Dust To Dust (Re-review)
Author: paxfederatica, formerly known as the author NCC-89471
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HBPDJHGFE
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission and seems to have survived the season 6 upgrade. I noted some of the updates you made using the new Foundry functionality. The map designs are good with several challenging battles and excellent story dialogue. The mission length is probably closer to 60 + minutes with the dialogue and combat combined. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who like a good story with their mission.
Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is an intriguing description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue with just enough of a story to draw the player in and make them want to click the "Hail" button.
Mission Task: This is a good initial description with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
1: CA-115 - Space: This is a nice map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-I think you are using the "Weather Starstreaks North South 01" effect, which only works if the player is traveling at higher speeds in a northerly direction on the map. Consider changing the map set up so the spawn point is to the east of the array facing west towards the array. Then use the "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect. Set up a "Drop from warp" interaction in the story using an "Invisible Object" which comes in 10Fft through 1000ft size. The interaction animation you should use is the "Warp In - Federation" effect. Then you set the "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" to disappear and all the array objects to appear when the "Component Complete" is achieved. This would mean you?ll also have to move the initial enemy mob encounter as well.
-The enemy mobs are a little close to each other which can force the player to engage both at the same time. For some players this might be a little overwhelming so consider spreading the mobs a little bit further apart.
2: Verena III - Space: This is a great map design with excellent explosive effects for the satellites. The story dialogue is excellent. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
3: Verena III - Ground: This is a good map design with several tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-If a player is playing this map with high detail they will still see "Alien" plant life spread across the map. I do not think there is much you can do about this except to go into the editor with high detail set and place rocks over the plants on the map. Beyond that I don?t think you can change it that much. I just wanted to make you aware of it.
-Consider adding respawn points further into the map, especially for the last battle.
4: Verena III - Space: This is a good map design with some fun battles. The story dialogue is excellent. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
5: Emborian Nebula - Space: This is a nice map design. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
6: Intel situation room - Interior: This is a good map design. The story dialogue is excellent and a good wrap to the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did really well with this mission and if the in game review system was functioning I would give it 5 stars. As always, I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 08/11/2012 on forum posting for: "Ghosts of War" mission series semi-official discussion thread.
Hey marhawkman,
Thanks for the review request. You are next in the queue for review. I hope to get to it either later tonight or first thing in the morning.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Federation Mission - Treasure Hunt
Author: marhawkman
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HAY4UN8XD
Report Start
Summary: This is a good mission, although as you stated it is very long. The map designs are good and the story dialogue is well written throughout. I did notice that you went from "Vorn Ground#2" to "Vorn Ground#4" with the "green cave" and "Gorath Cave" in between. I was thinking you might have changed the map or deleted the "Vorn Ground#3" map at some point and just missed that.
Most of the battles are pretty tough and without respawn points deeper into the maps it can be very hard to beat the enemy. Several of those battles are really tough on Normal level so I would not try them on Elite as they would most likely be impossible. I would still recommend this mission to other players who like great map designs combined with tough battles and an intriguing story.
On the Vorn Ground map and the Final Vault map the player fights Jem'Hadar troops and on the rest of the other ground and cave maps the player fights Cardassian troops. This seemed odd to me as I played through the mission. The last map enemy mobs seemed to fit in with the overall mission wrap up I felt you were going for.
I have not mentioned this recently but your use of the response button "Continue" was a little excessive. I have seen it used in other missions that I recently reviewed but most of them here felt out of place. Even though I have noted the excessive use of the response button "Continue" in Cryptic missions it still feels odd to me when playing through a mission. That is why I point it out in my reviews. Consider changing most of them to some response more appropriate to the dialogue.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: Realizing you are still completing some of the elements for this mission the description needs more of a story to draw the player in and make them want to click the "Hail" button. I noted no spelling errors with this description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Realizing this is just a note but consider changing "this project is not" to read "This project is not".
Grant Mission Dialogue: Realizing you are still completing some of the elements for this mission the grant dialogue needs more of a story to draw the player in and make them want to "Accept" this mission. The dialogue that follows the grant dialogue would be good in the grant dialogue field. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: When you are done developing this mission make sure you include the start location for the first custom map in the initial task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt. I noted one item to consider changing;
-In the grant dialogue you indicate that a "Transwarp Gate" had been found, but on arrival at Wolf 359 we simply beam down to the planet. This feels a little odd with no explanation to cover it. Consider changing the story so instead of a transwarp gate it could be a planetoid discovered in the Wolf 359 system that appears to have been terraformed by Borg nanites.
MAPS:
Vorn Ground: This is a good map design with some tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider adding a "Borg Beaming" animation effect to the "Bypass the first Borg Barrier" interaction.
-Consider adding a "Typing Wall Console" effect to the "Turn off the Forcefield" interaction.
-The post "Turn off the Forcefield" dialogue; consider changing the response button "that can't be good for the plants" to read "That can't be good for the plants".
-Consider changing the mission tasks "use the first console" through "use the last console" to read "Use the first console" through "Use the last console".
-For those tasks consider changing the default "Interact" button to read "Access console" or something along those lines.
-The post "use the last console" dialogue; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "Let's go" or something along those lines.
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Enter vault" to read "The vault is unlocked".
-Consider changing the response button "enter" to read "Here we go" or something along those lines.
firey cave: This is a good map design with several tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the map name "firey cave" to read "Fiery Cave".
-The initial dialogue; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "On our way" or something along those lines.
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Return to the valley" to read "We should continue exploring the valley" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button from the default "Go to Next Map" to read "Agreed" or something along those lines.
Vorn Ground#2: This is a good map design with several tough battles and the last one is very tough. I would not recommend this on Elite. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The initial dialogue; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "Let's go" or something along those lines.
-The secondary dialogue with the Away Team Engineer; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "Understood" or something along those lines. From this point forward I will note the maps where the response button "Continue" is used in situation where another response might fit better.
-The "Destroy the Borg energy relay" task; consider changing the task to an initial setup followed by a move back to a safe distance from the relay before triggering the "cross circuit converter" action. That would prevent the player or away team from getting caught in the debris and then you could remove the warning in the previous dialogue.
-If you already have an explosion effect in "cross circuit converter" action consider changing it as it does not appear to work. If you have not added one consider doing so as it would add to the effect of the relay being destroyed.
-Consider changing the interaction button "cross circuit converter" to read "Cross circuit converter".
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map, especially near the last battle.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "enter the vault" to read "Ready to enter the next vault" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button "Enter" to read "Let's see what's in here" or something along those lines.
green cave: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the map name "green cave" to read "Green Cave".
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider changing the mission task "enter door to next cave section" to read "Enter door to next cave section".
-Consider changing the interaction button "enter door" to read "Open door".
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Go to the next set of chambers" to read "We should continue exploring this cave" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button from the default "Go to Next Map" to read "Agreed" or something along those lines.
Gorath Cave: This is a great map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-For the "Turn off the forcefield barrier" consider changing the default "Interact" button to read "Access console" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the mission task "disengage the containment field" to read "Disengage the containment field"
-Consider changing all of the default "Interact" buttons to read "Access console" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the mission task "scan the containment field" to read "Scan the containment field".
-Since the mission task is "scan the containment field" consider changing the button to "Scan", or change the task to "Disable the containment field".
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Exit cave" to read "We should continue exploring the valley" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button from the default "Go to Next Map" to read "Agreed" or something along those lines.
Vorn Ground#4: This is a good map design with some tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-On previous maps "Tetin" gave a brief description of what the player needed to do but this map uses the player's NPC Tactical Officer. The NPC Tactical Officer starts off talking about the forces between the player and the "barrier" that would have been mentioned by "Tetin" as on the previous ground maps.
-The Tactical Officer dialogue; consider changing "There's a bunch more ground troops" to read "There's several ground troops".
-Consider changing the mission task "reach the other end" to read "Reach the other end".
-The "Turn off the barrier" mission task was interesting.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Continue to the next objective" to read "The barrier is down" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button from the default "Go to Next Map" to read "Let's go" or something along those lines.
Vorn Ground#5: This is an interesting map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing mission task "touch beacon 1" through "touch beacon 4" to read "Access beacon 1" through "Access beacon 4".
-Consider changing the interaction buttons from the default "Interact" to read "Access beacon 1" and so on.
-The way you placed the consoles in hard to get to places was very intriguing at first, but after spending a lot of time trying to find each console it became tedious.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Enter Vault" to read "The vault door is unlocked" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button from the default "Go to Next Map" to read "Here we go" or something along those lines.
Final Vault: This is a good map design with some tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The post "Move closer to the energy readings" dialogue; consider changing the response button "okay" to read "Okay".
-Consider changing the response button "fight" to read "Fight".
-Consider changing the "Go to the source of the anomalous readings" interaction button "Interact" to read "Scan" or something along those lines.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer. This would make more sense since it is the Science Officer Away Team who scans the portal.
Subspace Corridor: This is a good map design with several tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The initial dialogue; consider changing response button "so that's what the Changeling was so scared of" to read "So that's what the Changeling was so scared of".
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job with this mission despite the fact it is really long. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Author: @ltbarber
Minimum Level: All Levels
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HI9EQ6ZGB
Estimated Mission Length: 40-60mins
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post and ingame mail if you can manage it please.
Thanks Evil
Vorn Ground#3 was much like the last Vorn segment, but..... harder.... in retrospect, too hard. I had fun ideas for what to do with the map, but I had issues with getting my ideas to actually work and eventually dumped the idea. My attempts to make it work ended up creating a jumbled mess of a map. I didn't delete the map, it took hours to arrange the stuff and I didn't want to destroy it. I simply removed all the objectives.
In case you're wondering, my Foundry Char is an Andorian named Tetin and the park ranger NPC that I used for the picture looks like her. So, when talking to the Tetin char in the story you're basically talking to my Foundry char.
Continue: yeah, I need to redo that.
Capitalization: that too.
more spawn points? not a bad idea. especially on the combat maps.
Vorn1: good ideas on the animations. I didn't think of that earlier.
I had the wrong Sci officer? huh... Maybe it's an artifact of this being my second foundry mission. I created it either during or before season 4 was released. IIRC back then the sci officer prompt didn't have an away team option.
Vorn2: good idea on the converter, it makes sense and it avoids that dumb glitch. Fun fact: if you stand on top of the converter when it blows the game actually moves you to a point about 10 yard from the convertor when it replaces the object. Why can't it do that when you stand inside it? Explosion? I'll have to check.
Vorn4: hunh... I left out Tetin? oops...
Vorn5: Tedious... Hmm.... this is one of those maps where I wish I could add walkways. It would have made several aspects easier. And why did they have to put that stupid mushroom in the middle? Btw did you notice that there's two paths around the mushroom? The second path isn't easy to use or easily visible. I really wish I could have added a few catwalks to this map.
Why Jem'Hadar? I didn't have a good reason to use a specific faction, and the idea I was working with was that the enemy force was a mix of the two... but that's not explained in the story at all.
Thanks again for the review. I'm glad you liked it as much as you did.
My character Tsin'xing
Hey angelgiga, aka ltbarber,
Thanks for the review request. I?m working evenings this week so I have some time in the mornings to play. I will try to get to this today, if not tomorrow. I?ll post here and will try to send it to you via in-game email.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
The details on the Vorn Ground maps are quite well done. The reason I mentioned it was I thought you had replaced it and forgot to rename the other maps. Perhaps rename it and the others just so they fall in line with each other.
At first I wondered why the NPC was there talking to me, but got used to it pretty quickly.
Those respawn points will help the players enjoy the mission more on the combat maps so they do not have to run all the way across a map to find the bad guy back at full strength. You still have a couple of the maps with some pretty tough enemy mobs, which is why I would not recommend players do this mission on Elite. It was tough enough on Normal.
The Science Officer Away Team would make more sense. For all the NPC input you should make sure they are Away Team unless it is a ship specific contact. The lack of option for that NPC was probably a glitch, and I did not notice because I was busy reviewing rather than creating.
Most likely because one position is on top of the object and the other is essentially underneath it. So when the program makes the debris appear and the converter disappears it bumps the one on top away while trapping the one beneath it. Kind of like when you spawn on a Cryptic map and someone else spawns shortly after you in the same spot. It bumps you or them out of the way of the other so you are not right on top of each other. I've seen this in other games before.
The explosion would add to the effect of the destruction of the converter and would add to the story.
Yes, and after I had gotten used to her.
It would be much easier if there were walkways and more steps that you could use to build it with. With no clear walkways or steps it is left to the player to figure out how to proceed. With so many points to reach and in so many locations it made it difficult to find. In the end I spent almost 30 minutes trying to find a path to all the objectives. That is why I said it became tedious. A good puzzle is always fun but not one that takes 30 minutes to complete. I noted that at several points I could have fallen off the structure, which would have made it even longer to find the objectives. I brought the whole thing up because if your players get bored they will likely drop a mission.
In general a mix of forces does not work without a good reason that is briefly explained in the story dialogue. Usually it is better to pick one and stick to it unless the story really needs it to drive it forward. The story could be the "Trueway forces found out about the vaults and sent their people to investigate and find weapons" or something along those lines. Of course the same could be done for "Jem'Hadar" forces as well. As long as the player knows that from the story dialogue they will not think you put the wrong enemy mob in. This could be explained by adding to Tetin's dialogue. Something at the start of the mission like; "Intelligence indicates that both Trueway and Jem'Hadar forces have taken an interest in this planet and the vaults as a potential weapons resource". That would be a simple one line piece of dialogue that opens you up to add the enemy mobs you want for any of the maps.
I am glad I could help as that is my goal. Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Mission Name: Mindcrawlers
Author: k668
Minimum Level: 0
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HMSZD9EED
Estimated Mission Length: 30 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post
Peace.
I should be able to go back and fix the Sci officers. I hadn't really noticed before. Tetin's Away team sci guy is the same as her space.
My character Tsin'xing
This might be doable, but tricky. For the redesign I didn't just space the nodes out more, I also shoved the array into the "northeastern" quadrant of the map (to give the player more room to maneuver in the initial battles; the original version put the center of the array at the dead center of the map). I may have to spawn right at the eastern edge of the map, or close to it, to make the change you suggest.
BTW, what I currently do is set up a bunch of invisible walls around the ship so that it is more or less locked into position (facing north) until you're done speaking with Adm. Youngs. Then I drop the walls and tell the player to move forward toward the approach point. Once that marker is reached, I simultaneously hide the starstreak effect and reveal the array nodes.
Funny you mention this - from time to time I still see the "delayed explosion" problem that you once mentioned in a previous review of this mission. It's not quite as bad as it used to be, but it still does happen sometimes.
Thanks for mentioning the high-detail issue, as, of course, the planet is meant to be completely lifeless. I will see about placing rocks over the plants, at least in the areas of the map where the player is expected to go.
My Foundry missions | My STO Wiki page | My Twitter home page
Hi k668,
Thanks for the review request. I signed up a long time ago as a reviewer of content so, yes I can review your mission while the rating system is down, and you sit in rating limbo.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
It is always easier to find them if you know where they are.
My crew setup has two different NPC's assigned to all of the roles, which is why it jumped out at me.
Hope that helps,
Brian
No problem, glad I could help.
The "Coming from warp" interaction animation would help make it feel more like the player is dropping out of warp. The rest of it works well but I wanted to suggest a way that it would work even better with the warp streaks.
I think the first time I reviewed this mission Cryptic had not yet fixed the explosion effect for the space maps. So it would work in testing but not once the mission was published. Now it appears to be fixed and looks a lot better.
As always, I am glad I could help. My goal is to give constructive feedback that helps the author make a good mission. This helps to enrich the play environment for everyone.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Federation Mission - Worlds Apart
Author: ltbarber
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HI9EQ6ZGB
Report Start
Summary: This is a good mission with nice map designs and several tough ground and space battles. I would not recommend this mission on Elite as some of the battles are very tough on Normal and would most likely be impossible on Elite. That said I would still recommend this mission to all players who like a good mix of dialogue, battles, and interaction objectives.
I would give this mission a 4 star rating as a good mission that is fun to play, but the in game rating system is currently down. Until that is back up and running you will not be able to get the minimum of 5 ratings, which means this mission can only be played by players who have signed up to "Review Content".
The puzzles you created were fun but not all players will like them. That is why I recommended adding "Skip" buttons. I usually recommend dialogue heavy missions add a "Skip Dialogue" button that provides the player with a summary of what the player needs to know in order to not be lost.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a good and intriguing description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
Mission Task: The initial task should contain the start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
Kassae System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-For the "Scan the First Satellite" task; consider adding a "Skip Math" or "Skip Puzzle" button for the player that does not want to do math or puzzles.
-For the "Scan the Second Satellite" task; consider adding a "Skip Puzzle" button for players who do not want to do puzzles.
-Consider moving the trigger point for the map transfer to the other side of the temporal distortion so the player has to fly into it. If triggered before it the ship pivots away from it and the warps out.
Kassae System: This is a good map design with s very tough battle and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The initial dialogue; consider changing "What is more, I am reading some cloaked Klingon signatures dead ahead" to read "I am picking up cloaked Klingon ships dead ahead".
-You placed two heavy enemy mobs right on top of the spawn point. Consider spreading out the enemy to give the player a chance.
U.S.S. Valkyrie Bridge: This is a good map design with well written dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
U.S.S. Valkyrie Deck 7: This is a good map design with some tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
U.S.S. Valkyrie Deck 15: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The mission task states, "Speak to Resistance Leader" the interact button states, "Talk to Rear Admiral Black". Is there a plot point I missed about a resistance movement?
-The post "Free Commander Najada" dialogue; consider changing "We simply can not have them roaming about the ship" to read "We simply cannot have them roaming about the ship".
-Consider placing respawn points further into the map near the end.
-The first "Calibrate Deflector Dish" task; consider adding a "Skip" button to bypass the riddle.
-The second "Calibrate Deflector Dish" task; consider adding a "Skip math" button for the player that does not want to do math.
-The third "Calibrate Deflector Dish" task; consider adding a "Skip math" button for the player that does not want to do math.
U.S.S. Valkyrie Bridge: This is a good map design with well written dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Kassae System: This is a good map design with some tough battles grouped together. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider balancing the battle by adding more reinforcements. By the time I wiped out one enemy force most of the reinforcements were destroyed and I ended up fighting the others by myself.
-Consider moving the trigger point for the map transfer to the other side of the temporal distortion so the player has to fly into it. If triggered before it the ship pivots away from it and the warps out.
Kassae System: This is a good map design with well written dialogue and a nice wrap up to the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job with this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Anyways, I've been thinking about using the Borg blocks to disguise a giant ramp like the one in the top right part of the map. The big issue with falling off is how long it takes to get back up. If you can simply run up it's less of an issue.
My character Tsin'xing
The item is "Grate - Generic Ship 01" it is 5X4X1 and might work to build steps and platforms.
Brian