- I enjoyed your entry (as usual). One minor note - the sentence starting with "But it was enough of..." might sound better broken up into two sentences.
Edited, thanks for catching it :cool: Given your comment to Patrickngo, I wondered if you had seen my recent entry?
Not sure yet, but I have an idea kicking around. It's not a very serious story but might be a way I can move the timeline forward and set up some things I want to happen later. It will also allow me to introduce the vice admiral of the 77th Fleet, who works under Admiral ch'Harrell (the fleet admiral himself). Alyosha is a captain of the 77th Fleet.
@ superhombre777 - I love it when connections are made to Trek canon (if the books are indeed canon). Have I mentioned how I like Ch'Raul? No, eh ... well I do :P
@ danqueller - Wow. That was a VERY impressive piece.
@ azniadeet - I agree that to see a diplomacy v pew pew segment is refreshing. I'm not going that route with mine Still, well done with the tie-in!
More later! And thank you for the continuing thoughts on my additions to LC40! I have about 30 more to catch-up on ...
Okay, it was supposed to be a story about tracking down what happened on an abandoned outpost. And then Mycroft escaped into the Herpes, and the story turned into something altogether else. <shrug>
Okay, it was supposed to be a story about tracking down what happened on an abandoned outpost. And then Mycroft escaped into the Herpes, and the story turned into something altogether else. <shrug>
That's a nice entry, and a great introduction to Mycroft :cool:
Okay, it was supposed to be a story about tracking down what happened on an abandoned outpost. And then Mycroft escaped into the Herpes, and the story turned into something altogether else. <shrug>
Mycroft rocks, but then so does Grunt.
"It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier." R.A.Heinlein
Okay, it was supposed to be a story about tracking down what happened on an abandoned outpost. And then Mycroft escaped into the Herpes, and the story turned into something altogether else. <shrug>
Mycroft is fun, and I like how the Hephaestus/Herpes now has an AI.
Hopefully Mycroft stays with Grunt, even after he leaves the Herpes for whatever his next ship is--be it the Exploration Cruiser you mentioned earlier or something completely different (Personally, I hope he eventually gets a Regent-Class Assault Cruiser [the C-Store variant with Wide-Angle Torp Launcher and Metreon Gas Canisters] :cool:).
@wraithshadow13 - That was a brilliant piece of action! I think your version of Q is my favorite so far
@aten66 - That list is good comedy. Very well done
@shevet - You're next on my reading list and as of this post I've just started. It's shorter than a previous entry ... but not by much :P It doesn't really matter because it's good reading!
@jonsills - I enjoyed this entry very much. I'm curious to see how Mycroft shapes out - as an emergent AI rather than a programed entity, would (he?) feel superior or inferior to AI programs specifically written to govern ship functions? And would his unfamiliarity with the Hephaestus limit him in any way? I also really liked the horror Shelana expressed upon discovering what the Elachi do with their prisoners...
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
@jonsills - I enjoyed this entry very much. I'm curious to see how Mycroft shapes out - as an emergent AI rather than a programed entity, would (he?) feel superior or inferior to AI programs specifically written to govern ship functions? And would his unfamiliarity with the Hephaestus limit him in any way? I also really liked the horror Shelana expressed upon discovering what the Elachi do with their prisoners...
Thank you all for your kind comments. To reply specifically to some of these points, I think that Mycroft will have a bit of an inferiority complex, at least for a while - these other AIs, after all, were programmed to be AIs; they have everything they need built-in, while he's had to construct a psyche from observation. I also anticipate a bit of resistance from Command when they hear about him - after all, their own AIs have certain safeguards programmed in, but Mycroft is, to borrow a word from the Mass Effect series, unshackled. (However, like EDI, he's going to be constrained by the fact that he's genuinely fond of his newfound crewmates aboard the Hephaestus, and of people in general.)
Of course, given that Mycroft didn't even exist until I typed the part about the data transfer, it's all still kind of amorphous...
And I may rewrite that ending later - I don't think it conveys strongly enough the horror that both Shelana and Grunt felt on realizing that those poor people were being eaten alive by what are essentially Elachi young.
An AI called Mycroft? "Mike" for short, by any chance...?
Well, yes, there may have been some inspiration there - at least I didn't have him spawning from a Heuristically Operational Logical Multi-Evaluating System, Mk IV, Model L (a HOLMES IV computer).
I enjoyed the story too. For some reason, Vovenek is one of my favorite characters of yours. I'm guessing that for your Pakleds, the whole "stupid" thing was nothing but a deliberate act by pirates to lure in ships they wanted to raid? As for Vovenek himself, I love his wit, and the most stereotype-violating question he got asked: Did you build a supercomputer without telling Starfleet? That was a moment made of win.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
And I may rewrite that ending later - I don't think it conveys strongly enough the horror that both Shelana and Grunt felt on realizing that those poor people were being eaten alive by what are essentially Elachi young.
I've been re-formatting some of my early LC's to get rid of that 'wall of text' effect, but when I came to an LC Coda I had written, I decided to partially re-write S'rR's's nightmare to show the kind of reaction Alix had to other women in Marcus' life and just how spiteful she could be (and yes, it is intended to be an actual haunting, rather than mere subconscious self-doubt) I'd welcome any feedback for it, as to if I succeeded in that aim
@mattias078...uh. Hmm...needs a wee bit of work, IMHO.
@sharpie65: It would be interesting to see how a Borg alliance came about/turns out. Question...you've got three characters but four colors. If you're going to use one color per character, could you keep it the same color?
@grylak: I can picture the moment the door opens up. :eek:
@marcusdkane...ok, I want to know what they took from the archive!
@knightraider6: humanoid koala avatar...that'd be interesting to see on screen! Question...just how big is a Fek'ihri Frigate that a 500 meter wide blast puts a round hole in it? Cute autodestruct code, by the way...
@rextorvan36: I've got to pick nits...the Vesta class isn't a cruiser in STO. But yep...I can guess that pretty much the entire crew's going to be wearing sunglasses after grinding on Risa...
@shevet: great detail throughout...I can feel the displeasure at having to ask Drake for help. Awesome scenes in the cryotube lab. Great ending.
@aten66: Loved it! Mind if I use your captain as a source of booze for my scheming CMO?
@wraithshadow13: a very mischievous QF...I can see the smirk in my mind's eye. (Couple of typos in the text...just picking nits....)
@superhombre777: A suicidal, depressed Vulcan? Lots of atypical Vulcans in these forums! But I'm a bit confused...who is the cadet in the runabout?
Since y'all are gonna be reading...well, hopefully...the continuing voyages of the Starship Bonaventure...how about you choose the captain's first name from the four below?
Because...you know....if there is a particular name that reminds you of somebody you absolutely can't stand, you may not want to see it on a recurring basis. And audience participation is always fun. Right?
Surname's going to be Garrett...that's just how it is.
So:
Zachary, Alexander, Nikolas, or Domenico?
Each has a different backstory that will determine his future. Your input determines that fate....
(If nobody bites...then I'll just roll a D4 and go on from there, sobbing quietly in the corner that nobody really cares about poor Captain Garrett....;) )
Since y'all are gonna be reading...well, hopefully...the continuing voyages of the Starship Bonaventure...how about you choose the captain's first name from the four below?
Because...you know....if there is a particular name that reminds you of somebody you absolutely can't stand, you may not want to see it on a recurring basis. And audience participation is always fun. Right?
Surname's going to be Garrett...that's just how it is.
So:
Zachary, Alexander, Nikolas, or Domenico?
Each has a different backstory that will determine his future. Your input determines that fate....
(If nobody bites...then I'll just roll a D4 and go on from there, sobbing quietly in the corner that nobody really cares about poor Captain Garrett....;) )
I'd say Nikolas. Though, to be honest, I'd have Nikolas be his middle name, and have his first name be Frank.
Then he could be Frank Nikolas Garrett... or FNG. :cool:
Since y'all are gonna be reading...well, hopefully...the continuing voyages of the Starship Bonaventure...how about you choose the captain's first name from the four below?
Because...you know....if there is a particular name that reminds you of somebody you absolutely can't stand, you may not want to see it on a recurring basis. And audience participation is always fun. Right?
Surname's going to be Garrett...that's just how it is.
So:
Zachary, Alexander, Nikolas, or Domenico?
Each has a different backstory that will determine his future. Your input determines that fate....
(If nobody bites...then I'll just roll a D4 and go on from there, sobbing quietly in the corner that nobody really cares about poor Captain Garrett....;) )
Nikolas or Dominico. "Nico Garrett" just sort of rolls off the tongue in a way the other options do not.
When I'm coming up with a name for a character, especially a major one, I say the name aloud in a variety of contexts - as a superior officer giving him a thorough chewing-out, as a lover in the throes of passion, and as a best friend or loved one watching him die. If I don't like the way the name sounds in one of those contexts, I come up with something else.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
I like Nikolas. "Zach Garrett" sounds like he should be sporting a pornstache and working as a private eye in the 1970s.
I added a little bit to the descriptors at the end of my story. I was tempted to add more, but I've just eaten, and didn't want to look that closely at the image in my head.
@superhombre777: A suicidal, depressed Vulcan? Lots of atypical Vulcans in these forums! But I'm a bit confused...who is the cadet in the runabout?
I added the cadet so that ch'Raul could have another moment of humor. I figure that there must be hundreds of cadets around Earth with nothing better to do than be pilots for more experienced officers. Perhaps the story would have ended better without it?
Thanks everyone for the positive reviews of my entry! I'm always glad when people enjoy what I write (and don't call for my brain to be put in a jar and sealed away in a vault a mile below the ground).
I planned on writing my own reviews for the other entries, but injured a finger today. I'm still hoping to be able to do so, but typing is a bit more work than normal. I will say I'm very impressed with many of these entries, and my reviews would echo a lot of what's been said.
I added the cadet so that ch'Raul could have another moment of humor. I figure that there must be hundreds of cadets around Earth with nothing better to do than be pilots for more experienced officers. Perhaps the story would have ended better without it?
No, I liked how the upbeat goofing around was a counterpoint to the somber occasion they were there for. I didn't know that he was piloting the shuttle....I assumed that the two friends were conveying their comrade home by themselves. (Guess that "pulling rank" dialog had me thinking that ch'Raul was piloting it.). A line saying something like, "the cadet piloting the shuttle tried for an expressionless face....but you could see that he was glad he wasn't on the receiving end of ch'Raul's anger" could tell us there's a third person onboard, and would be a good set up for the punch line, making the reader think, "he saw what the brass is capable of...is he *that* dumb to fall asleep?!".
(An added line about family privacy or tradition would go a long way to explain why the cadet wasn't there to pay respects...from my experiences somebody assigned that particular duty would not...I say again, not...fall asleep...I'd keelhaul them if they weren't at attention the whole time in an immaculate uniform, bus driver or not.)
I like Nikolas. "Zach Garrett" sounds like he should be sporting a pornstache and working as a private eye in the 1970s.
I added a little bit to the descriptors at the end of my story. I was tempted to add more, but I've just eaten, and didn't want to look that closely at the image in my head.
And yet another actual LOL!
And no further descriptors is necessary...the less detailed, the more the reader can envision the horror...
Nikolas or Dominico. "Nico Garrett" just sort of rolls off the tongue in a way the other options do not.
When I'm coming up with a name for a character, especially a major one, I say the name aloud in a variety of contexts - as a superior officer giving him a thorough chewing-out, as a lover in the throes of passion, and as a best friend or loved one watching him die. If I don't like the way the name sounds in one of those contexts, I come up with something else.
Ahh...you caught that 2 can be cut down to the same diminutive...hmmm....must be more sneaky...
And speaking of sneaky...I put two pop culture references in my entry...one so blatant I had expected to get yelled at, the other a bit more subtle. Kudos to anybody who can name the latter...
Sometimes it can be fun to see what acronyms or abbreviations can be created from a person's initials. I've heard of someone who considered naming their kid Rachel Phoebe Meyer, which gets you RPM.
So, yeah, sometimes I do like to play with names, see if I can come up with fun acronyms or even make their name match a common abbreviation.
Since y'all are gonna be reading...well, hopefully...the continuing voyages of the Starship Bonaventure...how about you choose the captain's first name from the four below?
Because...you know....if there is a particular name that reminds you of somebody you absolutely can't stand, you may not want to see it on a recurring basis. And audience participation is always fun. Right?
Surname's going to be Garrett...that's just how it is.
So:
Zachary, Alexander, Nikolas, or Domenico?
Each has a different backstory that will determine his future. Your input determines that fate....
(If nobody bites...then I'll just roll a D4 and go on from there, sobbing quietly in the corner that nobody really cares about poor Captain Garrett....;) )
Dominic Garrett for sure, but allows friends call him Nico...
...ok, I want to know what they took from the archive!
That's classified :P
Nah, only joking, in truth, I don't know myself, only that it was information somehow relating to the Dominion War... My inspiration was the opening to Nemesis and the swoop down to the senate, and I got the image of him sprinting out on some kind of mission. Beyond that, I genuinely don't know what they were after
And speaking of sneaky...I put two pop culture references in my entry...one so blatant I had expected to get yelled at, the other a bit more subtle. Kudos to anybody who can name the latter...
The Hawaiian references? The things which jumped out at me most, were that I had previously used the name Sotek in a few entries, and the Endeavour was the name of Marcus' ship, and in recent entries, referenced as the ship which a Romulan tactical officer serves on, but I'm sure it's not that
Comments
Edited, thanks for catching it :cool: Given your comment to Patrickngo, I wondered if you had seen my recent entry?
Looking forward to it :cool:
@ danqueller - Wow. That was a VERY impressive piece.
@ azniadeet - I agree that to see a diplomacy v pew pew segment is refreshing. I'm not going that route with mine
More later! And thank you for the continuing thoughts on my additions to LC40! I have about 30 more to catch-up on ...
That's a nice entry, and a great introduction to Mycroft :cool:
Mycroft rocks, but then so does Grunt.
"he's as dangerous as a ferret with a chainsaw."
Mycroft is fun, and I like how the Hephaestus/Herpes now has an AI.
Hopefully Mycroft stays with Grunt, even after he leaves the Herpes for whatever his next ship is--be it the Exploration Cruiser you mentioned earlier or something completely different (Personally, I hope he eventually gets a Regent-Class Assault Cruiser [the C-Store variant with Wide-Angle Torp Launcher and Metreon Gas Canisters] :cool:).
@aten66 - That list is good comedy. Very well done
@shevet - You're next on my reading list and as of this post I've just started. It's shorter than a previous entry ... but not by much :P It doesn't really matter because it's good reading!
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Of course, given that Mycroft didn't even exist until I typed the part about the data transfer, it's all still kind of amorphous...
And I may rewrite that ending later - I don't think it conveys strongly enough the horror that both Shelana and Grunt felt on realizing that those poor people were being eaten alive by what are essentially Elachi young.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
SPOILER ALERT MAN!!
Aww ... now I don't have to read the story at all
:P
@mattias078...uh. Hmm...needs a wee bit of work, IMHO.
@sharpie65: It would be interesting to see how a Borg alliance came about/turns out. Question...you've got three characters but four colors. If you're going to use one color per character, could you keep it the same color?
@grylak: I can picture the moment the door opens up. :eek:
@patrickngo: yep...Sovak is a sick, sick man...
@marcusdkane...ok, I want to know what they took from the archive!
@knightraider6: humanoid koala avatar...that'd be interesting to see on screen! Question...just how big is a Fek'ihri Frigate that a 500 meter wide blast puts a round hole in it? Cute autodestruct code, by the way...
@rextorvan36: I've got to pick nits...the Vesta class isn't a cruiser in STO. But yep...I can guess that pretty much the entire crew's going to be wearing sunglasses after grinding on Risa...
@shevet: great detail throughout...I can feel the displeasure at having to ask Drake for help. Awesome scenes in the cryotube lab. Great ending.
@aten66:
@wraithshadow13: a very mischievous QF...I can see the smirk in my mind's eye. (Couple of typos in the text...just picking nits....)
@superhombre777: A suicidal, depressed Vulcan? Lots of atypical Vulcans in these forums! But I'm a bit confused...who is the cadet in the runabout?
@danqueller: awesome journey into the wormhole!
@azniadeet: the thought of the Borg with "insta-repair" is not a nice one. You have security wear red shirts on your ship? Bad mojo there...
@jonsills: loved it...quite the chilling ending.
Said it before, I'll say it again...I'm glad I clicked on the link to check out these LC's!
I've been looking though the archives...some interesting subject matter...just may have to sneak a story in here or there...;)
Because...you know....if there is a particular name that reminds you of somebody you absolutely can't stand, you may not want to see it on a recurring basis. And audience participation is always fun. Right?
Surname's going to be Garrett...that's just how it is.
So:
Zachary, Alexander, Nikolas, or Domenico?
Each has a different backstory that will determine his future. Your input determines that fate....
(If nobody bites...then I'll just roll a D4 and go on from there, sobbing quietly in the corner that nobody really cares about poor Captain Garrett....;) )
I'd say Nikolas. Though, to be honest, I'd have Nikolas be his middle name, and have his first name be Frank.
Then he could be Frank Nikolas Garrett... or FNG. :cool:
When I'm coming up with a name for a character, especially a major one, I say the name aloud in a variety of contexts - as a superior officer giving him a thorough chewing-out, as a lover in the throes of passion, and as a best friend or loved one watching him die. If I don't like the way the name sounds in one of those contexts, I come up with something else.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
I added a little bit to the descriptors at the end of my story. I was tempted to add more, but I've just eaten, and didn't want to look that closely at the image in my head.
I added the cadet so that ch'Raul could have another moment of humor. I figure that there must be hundreds of cadets around Earth with nothing better to do than be pilots for more experienced officers. Perhaps the story would have ended better without it?
I planned on writing my own reviews for the other entries, but injured a finger today. I'm still hoping to be able to do so, but typing is a bit more work than normal. I will say I'm very impressed with many of these entries, and my reviews would echo a lot of what's been said.
Well done, all!
No, I liked how the upbeat goofing around was a counterpoint to the somber occasion they were there for. I didn't know that he was piloting the shuttle....I assumed that the two friends were conveying their comrade home by themselves. (Guess that "pulling rank" dialog had me thinking that ch'Raul was piloting it.). A line saying something like, "the cadet piloting the shuttle tried for an expressionless face....but you could see that he was glad he wasn't on the receiving end of ch'Raul's anger" could tell us there's a third person onboard, and would be a good set up for the punch line, making the reader think, "he saw what the brass is capable of...is he *that* dumb to fall asleep?!".
(An added line about family privacy or tradition would go a long way to explain why the cadet wasn't there to pay respects...from my experiences somebody assigned that particular duty would not...I say again, not...fall asleep...I'd keelhaul them if they weren't at attention the whole time in an immaculate uniform, bus driver or not.)
Just my 2 cents!
Now *that* is a genuine LOL!!!
And yet another actual LOL!
And no further descriptors is necessary...the less detailed, the more the reader can envision the horror...
*shudder*
Ahh...you caught that 2 can be cut down to the same diminutive...hmmm....must be more sneaky...
And speaking of sneaky...I put two pop culture references in my entry...one so blatant I had expected to get yelled at, the other a bit more subtle. Kudos to anybody who can name the latter...
Thank you, thank you.
Sometimes it can be fun to see what acronyms or abbreviations can be created from a person's initials. I've heard of someone who considered naming their kid Rachel Phoebe Meyer, which gets you RPM.
So, yeah, sometimes I do like to play with names, see if I can come up with fun acronyms or even make their name match a common abbreviation.
Dominic Garrett for sure, but allows friends call him Nico...
Nah, only joking, in truth, I don't know myself, only that it was information somehow relating to the Dominion War... My inspiration was the opening to Nemesis and the swoop down to the senate, and I got the image of him sprinting out on some kind of mission. Beyond that, I genuinely don't know what they were after
The Hawaiian references? The things which jumped out at me most, were that I had previously used the name Sotek in a few entries, and the Endeavour was the name of Marcus' ship, and in recent entries, referenced as the ship which a Romulan tactical officer serves on, but I'm sure it's not that