1000 ways to get kicked out of wallmart

Mosa - Harshlands

1-have sex in the middle of wallmart.
2-ask someone to have sex with you in the middle of wallmart..

Holystic - Sanctuary

Walk up to cashier and lick the counter all over.

Xsius - Sanctuary

1. Make a pile of shopping carts
2. Shake all the cokes in the soft drinks sections until they explode
3. Gets Firecrackers, burn the fuse, leave it in the Aerosol Can area (Deodorants, Extremely Flamable)
4. Annoy the Manager with straws.

I think the police is involved in this o_o (read number 3.)

Ansin - Sanctuary

start acting like Billy Mays

Electricelf - Lost City

Go and sit in the staff room/managers room and use all the stuff in there.
Take stuff out of peoples trolleys when they arent looking.

Xenaaah - Heavens Tear

*Get on their phone and make announcements that everything in electronics is 90% off!

*Take a naked pic with the plastic life size Ronald Mcdonald in front of the in-store Mcdonalds!

*Greet the Walmart employees who don't greet you as you walk by them!

*Ask the employees who work in electronics (who usually don't know squat about electronics to begin with) lots of technical questions.

*Refuse the elderly help at the entrance to tag your returns.

*Harass the head cashier in the red coat by telling him/her to help cash out customers instead of pulling other employees from their departments who might actually be doing their job!

Kakamira - Dreamweaver

*go to the doll section and bite off all the doll heads

*go to the bathroom in the middle of the store or where ever they sell toilets,i don't think they sell toilets at wally world still

*rip of price tags and replace them

*steal an employee's vest and walk around giving people wrong and or bad advice

*shop lift...not very original but it works

* if there's a grocery section make sure you have a lot of "free samples"

* go to sports section and play ball with your friends

*go to the paint or art section take some paint and paint what ever you feel necessary

uuum that's all i can think of at the moment

Aedus - Harshlands

Wear this:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_w3ZIo-3AhRY/SQrm04UB-pI/AAAAAAAAAVo/juECLSJK2UQ/s400/get-attachment.aspx.png

I need not explain

Zephyrx - Lost City

How to get kicked out of WallMart

1. "Is this K-mart? I must have the wrong store"

2. "Does your company offer minimal wage benefits like 401k and health insurance?"

3. "I don't like wearing red, I prefer pink"

4. "Wal-mart, do they like sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

squirtlesquad

Walk around the store with a big boombox on your shoulder playing "NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP" at full volume. Do some cheesy dance moves and lip-sync the words with heavy emotion.

Prance around the store with a big boombox on your shoulder playing "LIVIN' IN THE SUNLIGHT, LOVIN' IN THE MOONLIGHT" at full volume. Skip through the isles and bat your eyelashes at other customers.

Dash around the store with a big boombox in a shopping cart playing "YAKETY SAX" at full volume. Run in zigzags, pushing the cart around invisible obstacles.

Offtopic: anyone have a giant boombox that can run on batteries? I'll trade you my sanity and dignity.

Finalremnant - Lost City

1. Get the world's first Australian Wallmart built

2. Act like a total bogan inside after its built

kooshdin

Pull a cashier away from his station and proceed to try and serve customers in his place for as long as possible .

Ganiju - Heavens Tear

dress up as a hobo and fall asleep in one of the aisles.

dress up as a hunter have a toy gun and pretend to "track a deer"
have a friend dress up in a deer costum and have them running around in the halls while the hunter chases them and pretends to shot at it (use a water gun)

Estasi - Sanctuary

Ganiju - Heavens Tear wrote: »

dress up as a hunter have a toy gun and pretend to "track a deer"
have a friend dress up in a deer costum and have them running around in the halls while the hunter chases them and pretends to shot at it (use a water gun)

Now that is funny but how about have the friend wear bunny ears and the hunter talk like Elmer Fudde?

Ganiju - Heavens Tear

Estasi - Sanctuary wrote: »

Now that is funny but how about have the friend wear bunny ears and the hunter talk like Elmer Fudde?

not as dramatic you have to have a costume on the person playing the bunny so the people in the store will go WTF?! a bunny?! or a furry?! or just...wtf?!

Estasi - Sanctuary

Ok but if they are going to wear a full costume it should be a scary looking bunnyb:chuckle

Desanai - Lost City

Get a Bunch of friends, dress up in furrsuits and dance to loud rave music in the sterio section.

Keep those friends there with assault rifle styled air soft guns and "clear" the restrooms

Desanai - Lost City

have done that second one X3 lots of fun

Kaier - Sanctuary

run around screaming "Ice Cream"...yes I'm the most random person u ll ever meet...

Oldbear - Sanctuary

Pull the gun on security guard. It's America after all.

_Aroen_ - Heavens Tear

run throught the walmart nakedb:pleased

Oldbear - Sanctuary

_Aroen_ - Heavens Tear wrote: »

run throught the walmart nakedb:pleased

if the one who follows this advice happen to be a woman, then what's the hurry kicking her out?

Agravain - Heavens Tear

Oldbear - Sanctuary wrote: »

if the one who follows this advice happen to be a woman, then what's the hurry kicking her out?

Have you seen the women at Walmart?

Ansin - Sanctuary

Agravain has a point. Just look at my mom.

Zephyrx - Lost City

Agravain - Heavens Tear wrote: »

Have you seen the women at Walmart?

I see many woes and lots of men in Walmart. So we might have woe-men at Walmart...

But if you really want to see lots of women... try the H-mart. It's *cough*... (censored)riffic

Ganiju - Heavens Tear

viva la bam: cover your friend in duck tape and try to get everything stuck to you...when you get thrown out at least the security has a good grip on you...a REALLY good grip on you. if they get stuck on you...procede to laugh you **** off...

Maddrox - Harshlands

Stand in line like you're ready to purchase something, about halfway through drop trow and start pissing. Scream "It Burns! F%^$&%* Hookers" Then zip up and try to act as if nothing happened

firefang11

Maddrox - Harshlands wrote: »

Stand in line like you're ready to purchase something, about halfway through drop trow and start pissing. Scream "It Burns! F%^$&%* Hookers" Then zip up and try to act as if nothing happened

weird...but okay

eat food and walk out people say thats shop lifting but they can't repouses it (sp?) thusly there is no evidence for about...ummm 7 or more hours

Light_cross - Heavens Tear

Although the original joke was in Kmart, it's still pretty funny

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3.Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!"

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms

9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy"

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all on and turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this ****, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,"Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

46. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

47. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

49. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."

52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles

53. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

54. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

55. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

56. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

57. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."

58. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

59. Redress the mannequins as you see fit.

60.When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

61.Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

62.Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 63. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time. 64. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

65. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

66. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

67. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

68. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it!

69. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming "

firefang11

good lord! thats a long list!