Played your quest tonight, and yeah, it looks like it's shooting up the charts. Well-deserved too, it's a great concept to begin with, which also happens to be extremely well-written and executed.
Noticed a couple of spelling mistakes, I'll try it again when I have a little time and write them down. Nothing major. I really don't have much to critique, I love the idea of the multiple choices you could make at the start. I wonder if you could "epic" the ending up a little bit, maybe with a line talking about forming an army to assault Neverwinter or some other evil scheme. Could even lead to a Part 2 if you wanted, or just a clever throwaway line. Not really a big deal though, it's a great quest as is and I very much enjoyed it.
You are right about the ending, I will probably add a bit more to it in order to lead it into the followup quest I have planned, which I am really excited to get working on now. It will keep the theme of choosing allies and you will probably learn more about the Mysterious Stranger. This wont end here :P
I'd be happy if you review my foundry.
It is in "For Review" , NW-DRMET9HYC The Abyss v2.0
by newbellon
Also look at my review of your foundry)
0
zovyaMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users, Neverwinter Knight of the Feywild UsersPosts: 0Arc User
edited June 2013
Ran this late last night/morning. I was impressed. Loved the environments. I don't like playing the bad guy, but I know it's a popular theme that's why I give the option in my quests. It was nice moving room to room and seeing new environments. I was actually looking forward to the next room. At the end though, I'd put in some type of exit, for immersion.
I reviewed it yesterday, great theme ++ for replay ability . Someone beat me to the punch line regarding putting in invisible walls , I accidentally knocked all three into the lava..woops. Still didn't lower my fun overall.
I noticed though with the need if the artifact and that you could leave it behind..(I did by accident, to much chatter on vent , thought I picked up the sword , turned out to be the token, still ,that was my bad because I did see the notes...lol)
I'm not at home ATM , so I can't verify.. But a solution to that problem could be:
Make some Invisible walls in front of your exit, set to appear when the dialogue prompt is reached "I pick x weapon" , one for each artifact.
Now either set it as a contact that reminds the player to get their item, then set to disapear after that component complete or make it like a door that requires the item to go further , perhaps the interaction text could read "you stow your weapon of power and prepare for battle "
Just a suggestion, take or leave it lol, still loved the quest.
~FOUNDRY MISSION~ The Village on Ebon Lake ~Check it out!~
Search Code NW-DQ3S67EKX
H.P Lovecraft style Horror
@Gorgothus, Yes I do need to put invisible walls there during the lava. Tried doing it last night but for some reason I was lagging terribly in the foundry.
Originally I did have the item spawn upon dialog prompt. However, since this didn't spawn mobs that attacked or anything to knock you out of the chat, players could click "Done" at the bottom there and talk to him again to spawn a different item. They then would repeat this 5 times to get all items. The token was the only solution could I find right now. I am still brainstorming ideas but I think you may have given me one.
Ok, so I just played through your quest and it was pretty darn amazing. Everything, from enviroments to story worked out just great. The hero fusion at the end made me lol. I would have tipped, but I was out of tips for the day - I surely will, the next time I play (will choose wolves this time, I think).
Overall impressed. Great, clever use of scripting with the item choices and incorporating them into the gameplay of the mission. I took the Fire Sword during my playthrough, which seemed to only really confer the ability to summon or recruit friendly NPCs. I don't know what the other items do, but I hope they all confer varied benefits rather than just being a choose-your-flavor of summoning friendly encounters.
Mapping work is good. I felt like I was poking around and exploring but still wound up following the critical path without any actual aimless wandering, which to me is a sign of good design. The transformation of the interior cave set with the stone walkway to more of a shaded canyon grove is very effective and appealing.
I think the writing is overall serviceable and appropriate for the goofy mood of the quest. My only suggestion would be that the initial encounter with the Stranger(and a few other pieces of text) seem to be begging for some paragraph breaks in parts.
I too encountered issues with the lava in the first map, but it sounds like you are well appraised of the problem and intend to fix it.
MAUHAHAHA ... the dark sides call is so strong, I must answer. First (Lava) room is buggable, lava doesn't hurt much and with a healing companion and a few potions you can swim around at least for awhile. Don't know if it was intended, in the room with the spiral staircase and the wolf pen Upper Ruins I believe it is. You can get under the map pretty easily. Jump on the crates to the right of the pen, on to the wagon, on to the bridge, off the the circular pathway a there ya go bottom of the map under the water and staircase with no way out (that I've found). Last room needs a door of some sort, "F-ing" out is no way to end this. Nice story line and environment is good. End conversation is most definitely a good lead-in to a sequel. With a few tweaks here and there it'll be a 5, no question.
Good daily for those who don't have a lot of time to play.
All the things you guys mentioned I plan on fixing once foundry comes back up. Except for the wolf pen part. Honestly, if people want to jump off that is whatever to me haha. The last door is something I've been meaning to fix as well as cleaning up some dialogue.
I have two sequels planned with most likely a third to end it.
The items really are only to flavor your allies and the give you some different text to read. I thought about hanving whole different paths associated with each item but I am already really close to the 1500 limit and I cannot place anymore encounters at all. Having five different options was extremely ambitious of me and was a nightmare to place but well worth it.
I will return the favor Varna and play your quest. Echtigern, if you have one I'll gladly play it as well
Okie dokie, fair enough about the pen room. Yeap if bozos like me wanna jump around, find stuff and get stuck , so be it . I can see you hitting the 1500 item cap, you did put a lot of stuff in it and it's worth it, looks good.
I do have 1 done unpublished thou, I think it's kinda hokey atm and 1 in the works but with the Foundry down I can't do anything.
OK, so I've played all 5 version and really can't decide which one I like most. Recon I'll just hafta keep playing it and figure it out.
0
xhritMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 0Arc User
Authors Note: It is currently possible to leave the first map without choosing an artifact. If this happens you will ultimately not be able to complete the quest. SO TAKE ONE! At the moment the foundry is very limiting in this regard and I am trying to figure out a solution.
Create a map called "artifact room". Inside the room are the artifacts. Then add 5 doors all leading to the same map exit. Each door requires a different artifact to open. The player is now unable to move to the next map without an artifact in their possession.
Another option would be to make the room have a single door, make the door require a key, and the objects that drop the artifacts also drop the key. I don't know if the 2nd option is possible tho.
A mysterious merchant hires you to dispose of four ghosts haunting a nearby castle. Enjoy this short adventure that pays homage to a classic arcade game. I'm sure you will be able to guess which one.
Create a map called "artifact room". Inside the room are the artifacts. Then add 5 doors all leading to the same map exit. Each door requires a different artifact to open. The player is now unable to move to the next map without an artifact in their possession.
Another option would be to make the room have a single door, make the door require a key, and the objects that drop the artifacts also drop the key. I don't know if the 2nd option is possible tho.
Great idea, I could maybe somehow create this in my lava room and change the story around to make it work but making a whole new map devoted to that is something I cannot do. I got so many 1-3 stars on my last quest simply because "Too many load screens" That I fear to put too many map transitions if I can avoid it.
kerlaaMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 0Arc User
edited June 2013
I have to say I rather enjoyed the two runs I did yesterday. maybe if more ppl see this we just might start seeing more evil themed PGC. I would love to one day see Zhentil/Red Wizards of Thay, Arcane Brotherhood, etc themed content where you can join a faction. Over all keep up the great work and will keep an eye out for anything new you put out.
I never thought that it would be this popular. This was actually supposed to be the last foundry I did before I went on a break. But since so many people want to see more I now have 3 more quests planned to go along with it. I have a feeling we will be seeing a lot more Evil themed quests. They are just too fun not to create. Being the hero all the time can be so droll.
Even though we have had our differences, I really enjoyed the quest. This is a stark difference from you 1st quest, as it should. I'm not a fan of the dzogen-esque humor, but I guess folks dig it. The overall epic theme over shadowed the silliness. Big plus.
Cheers on the quest. I gotta give credit, when credit is due! 5 stars. Now stop pressing the flesh, and get back to work! :cool: Oh wait, the foundry is down....
NW-DT4OV7EXH
Every time they idiot-proof something...they make better idiots.
I've been getting negative reviews for things that are very easily fixed and it's a shame I can't fix them right away because of the foundry being down Hopefully they get it back up soon so I can start right away on the followup quests but I doubt it will be up this weekend.
Also, @Zahinder - I enjoyed the story and the characters. The stone part was kind of hard because I think I missed a hint somewhere so the puzzle spawned a lot of mobs. The last boss with the two ogres was kind of annoying for a Guardian Fighter but I managed all the same and didn't have to chug too many pots. Good job :P
@Zefrimex - Cool concept and I liked the costumes, especially of the Packman. The dialogue at the end was humorous and I am a sucker for that. You do stack a few encounters, namely the ghosts in the hall way on the way to the pink ghost. That was the only part that stood out as too difficult. Overall I enjoyed it.
I've been getting negative reviews for things that are very easily fixed and it's a shame I can't fix them right away because of the foundry being down
I feel your pain, man. I feel your pain.
Anyway, I've played it now... 5/5 and full tip. Good work!
Very enjoyable from the outset, with a great premise. I'm not a fan of "out of character" humour that is becoming prevalent with authors (with the l33t cleric, disconnecting rogue and tank who stands in red circles, for example), but that's your design decision, and we can all identify with it, certainly providing provocation enough for me to stop being a hero. It grates on me, but does not detract from the overall awesomeness of the quest, and as stated, I still gave you full marks. That being said, you got a genuine LOL out of Voltron/Mega Hero.
Great environments, with good attention to detail. Trying to keep the ring - awesome result. Different choices for replayability with different summonable allies and different methods of dealing with end rooms- awesome. (Although most of the allies bugged out and stopped following me, but that's not your fault.) Different routes through the castle - awesome.
All in all, thoroughly entertaining, and I will be giving this one multiple plays with multiple characters.
The dilemma with leaving the room before taking an artefact - easily fixed. xhrit's suggestion with five doors is spot on, although bear in mind that they do not have to be actual "doors". To make it more in keeping with your theme at that point, you could instead have one exit door on the opposite side of a lava flow, with five bridges that pop up to allow you across... the bridges popping up could each be bound to one of five identical "pull" dialogue options on a chain that must be pulled to "raise the bridge", and those five dialogue options are each bound to only be visible when the player has one of the five artefacts in their possession.
Alternatively, you already have a potential solution partially in place. When you take an artifact you are also required to take the "token" to progress the quest. Just put a token in each of the containers also containing the 5 artifacts instead of having separate pickups. This method may be more elegant, however, players would still be able to break it by opening the container and only taking the artefact instead of both items. So personally I'd go for the doors/bridges/whatever approach.
Another option, and probably the easiest/quickest/cleanest, would be to instead of having the evil token pick up to mark quest progression, have it be another conversation with the mysterious stranger, with options to proceed only when one of the artefacts is in possession, perhaps with the stranger giving information about the chosen artefact at this point, rather than before they are taken.
I see what you are saying with the artifacts. The problem isn't really with how they progress with the artifacts it is how the artifacts spawn. As it stands right now, the artifacts spawn on dialogue prompt; this allows a player to click "done" at the bottom and do the dialogue again essentially being able to do it over and over to spawn all items. I had to set the items to only be accessible if the player had the token, and then, upon use, the token is used up.
I am probably missing something, but unless there is another way to spawn the items or only make them accessible depending on that choice ( i.e. Player chooses staff, only staff becomes clickable) I don't know another way around it
@Eskarine Great costumes on the mobs, interesting story. The only thing that bothered me was the beginning with all the running around, I also would recommend setting your interactions with the 4 specific items to "short" I don't know about other people but that extra two seconds of watching my character do some dumb animation to gather a plant is just pointless in my opinion--this is just me being petty though, not a big deal. The only major gripe I had with it was the amount of ogres you used for all your harder mobs. The foundry is limiting but we do have a few other options for the bigger baddies. Overall I liked it and hope I get to save Bran in the future
Thanks! That quest was more of a learning curve and needs tweaking, which will be done once the **** foundry is up xD
I wanted to focus mainly on story and didn't think through some of the game mechanics.
In my defense though, there were three ogres - one was completly optional (if you were greedy enough to check the chest in dungeon) and only two you had to fight (one being the last boss).
Great idea, I could maybe somehow create this in my lava room and change the story around to make it work but making a whole new map devoted to that is something I cannot do. I got so many 1-3 stars on my last quest simply because "Too many load screens" That I fear to put too many map transitions if I can avoid it.
True that. I really wanted to name each room in my quest Shadow of the World, so I ended up making 10 different maps. Huge mistake. I am thinking of redoing it so there are only 5; I just wish the Foundry had the ability to name map areas, because I really like having the final boss in my campaign take place in the "Crucible of Hate".
Comments
By @Stebss
Short Code: NW-DM900IFHK
Noticed a couple of spelling mistakes, I'll try it again when I have a little time and write them down. Nothing major. I really don't have much to critique, I love the idea of the multiple choices you could make at the start. I wonder if you could "epic" the ending up a little bit, maybe with a line talking about forming an army to assault Neverwinter or some other evil scheme. Could even lead to a Part 2 if you wanted, or just a clever throwaway line. Not really a big deal though, it's a great quest as is and I very much enjoyed it.
Code: NW-DJ5BFT52F
Author: @oortexplorer
Now eligible for Daily Foundry!
By @Stebss
Short Code: NW-DM900IFHK
It is in "For Review" , NW-DRMET9HYC The Abyss v2.0
by newbellon
Also look at my review of your foundry)
Your environments look fantastic and the quest is just down right fun to play with loads of replay value.
I noticed though with the need if the artifact and that you could leave it behind..(I did by accident, to much chatter on vent , thought I picked up the sword , turned out to be the token, still ,that was my bad because I did see the notes...lol)
I'm not at home ATM , so I can't verify.. But a solution to that problem could be:
Make some Invisible walls in front of your exit, set to appear when the dialogue prompt is reached "I pick x weapon" , one for each artifact.
Now either set it as a contact that reminds the player to get their item, then set to disapear after that component complete or make it like a door that requires the item to go further , perhaps the interaction text could read "you stow your weapon of power and prepare for battle "
Just a suggestion, take or leave it lol, still loved the quest.
Search Code NW-DQ3S67EKX
H.P Lovecraft style Horror
Thank you Chili and Zovya.
@Gorgothus, Yes I do need to put invisible walls there during the lava. Tried doing it last night but for some reason I was lagging terribly in the foundry.
Originally I did have the item spawn upon dialog prompt. However, since this didn't spawn mobs that attacked or anything to knock you out of the chat, players could click "Done" at the bottom there and talk to him again to spawn a different item. They then would repeat this 5 times to get all items. The token was the only solution could I find right now. I am still brainstorming ideas but I think you may have given me one.
By @Stebss
Short Code: NW-DM900IFHK
By @Stebss
Short Code: NW-DM900IFHK
Still laughing to myself at some of the stuff you put in there, good job sir.
Search Code NW-DQ3S67EKX
H.P Lovecraft style Horror
Now featured!
'A wayward child' is currently taken down for upgrades
By @Stebss
Short Code: NW-DM900IFHK
VERY wonderful quest, will definitely be running it more in the future. I particularly love the lush bright area toward the end. Beautiful.
Wicks and Things: NW-DI4FMZRR4 : The Fenwick merchant family has lost a caravan! Can you help?
Beggar's Hollow: NW-DR6YG4J2L : Someone, or something, has stolen away many of the Fenwicks' children! Can you find out what happened to them?
Into the Fen Wood: NW-DL89DRG7B : Enter the heart of the forest. Can you discover the secret of the Fen Wood?
Overall impressed. Great, clever use of scripting with the item choices and incorporating them into the gameplay of the mission. I took the Fire Sword during my playthrough, which seemed to only really confer the ability to summon or recruit friendly NPCs. I don't know what the other items do, but I hope they all confer varied benefits rather than just being a choose-your-flavor of summoning friendly encounters.
Mapping work is good. I felt like I was poking around and exploring but still wound up following the critical path without any actual aimless wandering, which to me is a sign of good design. The transformation of the interior cave set with the stone walkway to more of a shaded canyon grove is very effective and appealing.
I think the writing is overall serviceable and appropriate for the goofy mood of the quest. My only suggestion would be that the initial encounter with the Stranger(and a few other pieces of text) seem to be begging for some paragraph breaks in parts.
I too encountered issues with the lava in the first map, but it sounds like you are well appraised of the problem and intend to fix it.
NW-DQ8I5BZSF
Good daily for those who don't have a lot of time to play.
I have two sequels planned with most likely a third to end it.
The items really are only to flavor your allies and the give you some different text to read. I thought about hanving whole different paths associated with each item but I am already really close to the 1500 limit and I cannot place anymore encounters at all. Having five different options was extremely ambitious of me and was a nightmare to place but well worth it.
I will return the favor Varna and play your quest. Echtigern, if you have one I'll gladly play it as well
By @Stebss
Short Code: NW-DM900IFHK
Preview/Freedback thread: http://tinyurl.com/NW-DTNZTFYDS - Now eligible for Daily Quest!
A Dwarven Dilemma Part 2 - Luskan Delights : Coming soon!
I do have 1 done unpublished thou, I think it's kinda hokey atm and 1 in the works but with the Foundry down I can't do anything.
OK, so I've played all 5 version and really can't decide which one I like most. Recon I'll just hafta keep playing it and figure it out.
Create a map called "artifact room". Inside the room are the artifacts. Then add 5 doors all leading to the same map exit. Each door requires a different artifact to open. The player is now unable to move to the next map without an artifact in their possession.
Another option would be to make the room have a single door, make the door require a key, and the objects that drop the artifacts also drop the key. I don't know if the 2nd option is possible tho.
Feast of the Moon | Rising of the Dark | Shadow of the World | Everdark
NW-DE76NJPYV
A mysterious merchant hires you to dispose of four ghosts haunting a nearby castle. Enjoy this short adventure that pays homage to a classic arcade game. I'm sure you will be able to guess which one.
Great idea, I could maybe somehow create this in my lava room and change the story around to make it work but making a whole new map devoted to that is something I cannot do. I got so many 1-3 stars on my last quest simply because "Too many load screens" That I fear to put too many map transitions if I can avoid it.
@Zefrimex - I will gladly play your quest
By @Stebss
Short Code: NW-DM900IFHK
By @Stebss
Short Code: NW-DM900IFHK
Cheers on the quest. I gotta give credit, when credit is due! 5 stars. Now stop pressing the flesh, and get back to work! :cool: Oh wait, the foundry is down....
Every time they idiot-proof something...they make better idiots.
I've been getting negative reviews for things that are very easily fixed and it's a shame I can't fix them right away because of the foundry being down
Also, @Zahinder - I enjoyed the story and the characters. The stone part was kind of hard because I think I missed a hint somewhere so the puzzle spawned a lot of mobs. The last boss with the two ogres was kind of annoying for a Guardian Fighter but I managed all the same and didn't have to chug too many pots. Good job :P
@Zefrimex - Cool concept and I liked the costumes, especially of the Packman. The dialogue at the end was humorous and I am a sucker for that. You do stack a few encounters, namely the ghosts in the hall way on the way to the pink ghost. That was the only part that stood out as too difficult. Overall I enjoyed it.
By @Stebss
Short Code: NW-DM900IFHK
I feel your pain, man. I feel your pain.
Anyway, I've played it now... 5/5 and full tip. Good work!
Very enjoyable from the outset, with a great premise. I'm not a fan of "out of character" humour that is becoming prevalent with authors (with the l33t cleric, disconnecting rogue and tank who stands in red circles, for example), but that's your design decision, and we can all identify with it, certainly providing provocation enough for me to stop being a hero. It grates on me, but does not detract from the overall awesomeness of the quest, and as stated, I still gave you full marks. That being said, you got a genuine LOL out of Voltron/Mega Hero.
Great environments, with good attention to detail. Trying to keep the ring - awesome result. Different choices for replayability with different summonable allies and different methods of dealing with end rooms- awesome. (Although most of the allies bugged out and stopped following me, but that's not your fault.) Different routes through the castle - awesome.
All in all, thoroughly entertaining, and I will be giving this one multiple plays with multiple characters.
The dilemma with leaving the room before taking an artefact - easily fixed. xhrit's suggestion with five doors is spot on, although bear in mind that they do not have to be actual "doors". To make it more in keeping with your theme at that point, you could instead have one exit door on the opposite side of a lava flow, with five bridges that pop up to allow you across... the bridges popping up could each be bound to one of five identical "pull" dialogue options on a chain that must be pulled to "raise the bridge", and those five dialogue options are each bound to only be visible when the player has one of the five artefacts in their possession.
Alternatively, you already have a potential solution partially in place. When you take an artifact you are also required to take the "token" to progress the quest. Just put a token in each of the containers also containing the 5 artifacts instead of having separate pickups. This method may be more elegant, however, players would still be able to break it by opening the container and only taking the artefact instead of both items. So personally I'd go for the doors/bridges/whatever approach.
Another option, and probably the easiest/quickest/cleanest, would be to instead of having the evil token pick up to mark quest progression, have it be another conversation with the mysterious stranger, with options to proceed only when one of the artefacts is in possession, perhaps with the stranger giving information about the chosen artefact at this point, rather than before they are taken.
Preview/Freedback thread: http://tinyurl.com/NW-DTNZTFYDS - Now eligible for Daily Quest!
A Dwarven Dilemma Part 2 - Luskan Delights : Coming soon!
I am probably missing something, but unless there is another way to spawn the items or only make them accessible depending on that choice ( i.e. Player chooses staff, only staff becomes clickable) I don't know another way around it
By @Stebss
Short Code: NW-DM900IFHK
By @Stebss
Short Code: NW-DM900IFHK
I wanted to focus mainly on story and didn't think through some of the game mechanics.
In my defense though, there were three ogres - one was completly optional (if you were greedy enough to check the chest in dungeon) and only two you had to fight (one being the last boss).
Now featured!
'A wayward child' is currently taken down for upgrades
True that. I really wanted to name each room in my quest Shadow of the World, so I ended up making 10 different maps. Huge mistake. I am thinking of redoing it so there are only 5; I just wish the Foundry had the ability to name map areas, because I really like having the final boss in my campaign take place in the "Crucible of Hate".
Feast of the Moon | Rising of the Dark | Shadow of the World | Everdark