Α Human and e Tiefling hang out in a bar... the human keeps buying the Tefling drinks aiming to make a lough out of him...
The Tiefling is almost wasted when 3 females step in the middle of the establisment and start dancing...
-You see those ladies? ''asks the human. -Two of them are human and one is of your kind... if you can tell me wich one is that without touching any of them i ll give you all the 'Stones of Health' i have in my Adventurer's Satchel!
-Bet ON!! ''says the Tiefling without second thoughts...
But everything was so blurry, he could't see...
The human started loughing when the Tiefling had a moment of clearity...
He put a lot of effort to manage to get his right hand in his Adventurer's Pack, only to pull out a Lesser Scroll of Identification...
-Owned!!!
It was the only word the Tiefling managed to spell before passing out...!!!
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belodurinMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 5Arc User
edited May 2013
Two Zombies are eating a Devoted Cleric. One turns to the other and says, "I was in the mood for a light lunch."
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bnotoriousMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 27Arc User
edited May 2013
How many Jagged Dancing Blades does it take to dig a grave for a kobold at night?
A level 60 Rogue 1v1s a level 50 Cleric.
Finding it strangely easy to defeat the Rogue, the Cleric inspects him when they finish.
Noticing something odd, the Cleric turns to the Rogue and asks, "Why are you using a level 5 weapon and a level 5 ring..?"
The Rogue replies, "What are you talking about? I have a level 60 weapon and level 60 ring!"
Checking again, the Cleric says, "No... I can see it right here. Your off-hand weapon is a level 5 dagger and your left-hand ring is a level 5 ring."
The Rogue replies, "I HAVE A LEFT HAND?! The tool-tips never mentioned a left hand!"
The Cleric says, "Whoa, calm down... I'm sure you have a spare weapon and ring you could use in the bank."
Looking shocked, confused, and upset, the Rogue replies, "THERE'S A BANK?!"
At least half of these submissions are stolen from the internet with absolutely no credit given.
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bnotoriousMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 27Arc User
edited May 2013
Why did the Jagged Dancing Blade get fired from the halfling cheese factory?
I'm not sure exactly, I heard that he just couldn't cut it!
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belodurinMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 5Arc User
edited May 2013
An elf, a human and a dwarf are all enjoying beers in a tavern when each notices a fly in their glass.
The elf places his napkin over the glass and politely pushes it off to the side.
The human removes the fly and keeps drinking.
The dwarf pulls out the fly and starts yelling, "Spit it out, ya louse! Spit it out!"
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bnotoriousMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 27Arc User
edited May 2013
Oh, I just thought of another....
Why didn't the Jagged Dancing Blades tabloid paper do well in Neverwinter?
Because it just wasn't edgy enough!
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djdeadairMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 1Arc User
edited May 2013
A long time ago, there was a mercenary. This mercenaries name was Buttiches. Buttiches loved to scout the area while his pal, Frederick the Miner, collected ore. One day Frederick and Buttiches were walking through the quarry and there was a terrible accident. A boulder fell from the sky and crushed Buttiches right where he stood! Frederick cried "Oh!!! My poor Buttiches!!!!" A miner then shouted in the distance, "Well, Scratch it!!!"
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belodurinMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 5Arc User
edited May 2013
Q: How do you tell the difference between a male and female dwarf?
A: The females have slightly less back hair.
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belodurinMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 5Arc User
gobirds11Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero UsersPosts: 7Arc User
edited May 2013
An Orc was walking through the forest when he passed a deer eating grass. The Orc roared, 'Who is the king of these lands!?', the frightened deer replied, 'You are, most fearsome One.' The Orc walked off pleased.
Soon he came across a horse drinking at a lake. The Orc roared, 'Who is the king of this lake!?' the horse replied, 'Oh, you are, my lord.' again the Orc walked off pleased.
Then he came across a giant Ogre picking his nose. 'Who is the king of the forest!?' he roared. Angered, the giant Ogre threw the Orc against a rock and jumped on him. The Orc dusted himself off, stood up and said, 'Okay, okay, no need to get all upset just because you don't know the answer.
Three adventures wake up to the smell of eggs cooking. Looking to the campfire they see their Kender companion cooking. The dwarf fighter grins and grabs a plate, but the Elven wizard is curious. "Eggs? Where did you get eggs, Kender?" The elf inquired. The Kinder shrugged, but smiled wide. "I found them over there in the mountain just sitting between the rocks." He answered. The Human cleric frowned as did the others for they knew Kinderkind. "The dragon just left them there." Suddenly the adventurers felt a hot wind behind them and they froze, glaring at the Kinder once more. Turning, the Kinder looked up at the Red Dragon and the dragon roared, but the Kinder stood his ground before replying. "Decided you wanted some after all, huh?" R.I.P. Noble adventures
~MORAL~ Never take a Kinder anywhere unless you want to be dragon chow
Who needs church when u have a campfire every hour
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gobirds11Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero UsersPosts: 7Arc User
edited May 2013
A great weapon fighter comes home very drunk from the tavern with a Duck under his arm, his wife answers the door "what's this?" The great weapon fighter replies "this is the dragon i've been sleeping with" The aggro'd wife shouts "That is not a Dragon that is a duck" The great weapon fighter looks at her and says "I was talking to the duck!!!!"
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amenkephtMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 3Arc User
Did you hear that a halfling psion broke out of the Neverwinter jail? I heard he's a small medium at large.
A druid walks into a pub and orders a sandwich. When asked of what variety, he responds, "One with everything."
The funniest thing i have seen in all of never winter as i am level 38 so far is the hell beastie dropping the Girdle of the damned What was the eating so good in helms land? Did he end up gaining a few pounds this winter, like i did . Did he need demon watchers? ? What are demon watchers meetings like anyways? Do they teach demons to identify low fat menu They must have worked if he gave the girdle too me anyways. Should i be offended he noticed?? To me any man or demon noticing i gained 5 lbs this winter deserves a long slow death.!!
The funniest thing i have seen in all of never winter as i am level 38 so far is the hell beastie dropping the Girdle of the damned What was the eating so good in helms land? Did he end up gaining a few pounds this winter, like i did . Did he need demon watchers? ? What are demon watchers meetings like anyways? Do they teach demons to identify low fat menu They must have worked if he gave the girdle too me anyways. Should i be offended he noticed?? To me any man or demon noticing i gained 5 lbs this winter deserves a long slow death.!!
by cipriella
The funniest thing i have seen in all of never winter as i am level 38 so far is the hell beastie dropping the Girdle of the damned What was the eating so good in helms land? Did he end up gaining a few pounds this winter, like i did . Did he need demon watchers? ? What are demon watchers meetings like anyways? Do they teach demons to identify low fat menu They must have worked if he gave the girdle too me anyways. Should i be offended he noticed?? To me any man or demon noticing i gained 5 lbs this winter deserves a long slow death.!!
A Druid gets excited because he found a key to an epic dungeon,
everyone claps except for the Rogue in the corner,
The druid confronts the rogue and asks why he did not clap about my epic key,
The rogue shrugs ans says, " Whats a key?"
Comments
Α Human and e Tiefling hang out in a bar... the human keeps buying the Tefling drinks aiming to make a lough out of him...
The Tiefling is almost wasted when 3 females step in the middle of the establisment and start dancing...
-You see those ladies? ''asks the human. -Two of them are human and one is of your kind... if you can tell me wich one is that without touching any of them i ll give you all the 'Stones of Health' i have in my Adventurer's Satchel!
-Bet ON!! ''says the Tiefling without second thoughts...
But everything was so blurry, he could't see...
The human started loughing when the Tiefling had a moment of clearity...
He put a lot of effort to manage to get his right hand in his Adventurer's Pack, only to pull out a Lesser Scroll of Identification...
-Owned!!!
It was the only word the Tiefling managed to spell before passing out...!!!
Six. Don't ask why, it's just a stab in the dark!
Finding it strangely easy to defeat the Rogue, the Cleric inspects him when they finish.
Noticing something odd, the Cleric turns to the Rogue and asks,
"Why are you using a level 5 weapon and a level 5 ring..?"
The Rogue replies,
"What are you talking about? I have a level 60 weapon and level 60 ring!"
Checking again, the Cleric says,
"No... I can see it right here. Your off-hand weapon is a level 5 dagger and your left-hand ring is a level 5 ring."
The Rogue replies,
"I HAVE A LEFT HAND?! The tool-tips never mentioned a left hand!"
The Cleric says, "Whoa, calm down... I'm sure you have a spare weapon and ring you could use in the bank."
Looking shocked, confused, and upset, the Rogue replies, "THERE'S A BANK?!"
True Story.
At least half of these submissions are stolen from the internet with absolutely no credit given.
I'm not sure exactly, I heard that he just couldn't cut it!
The elf places his napkin over the glass and politely pushes it off to the side.
The human removes the fly and keeps drinking.
The dwarf pulls out the fly and starts yelling, "Spit it out, ya louse! Spit it out!"
Why didn't the Jagged Dancing Blades tabloid paper do well in Neverwinter?
Because it just wasn't edgy enough!
A: The females have slightly less back hair.
A: Drowsers!
A: Because they know that paper tears faster when it's wet.
A: Gifted.
Soon he came across a horse drinking at a lake. The Orc roared, 'Who is the king of this lake!?' the horse replied, 'Oh, you are, my lord.' again the Orc walked off pleased.
Then he came across a giant Ogre picking his nose. 'Who is the king of the forest!?' he roared. Angered, the giant Ogre threw the Orc against a rock and jumped on him. The Orc dusted himself off, stood up and said, 'Okay, okay, no need to get all upset just because you don't know the answer.
~MORAL~ Never take a Kinder anywhere unless you want to be dragon chow
I'd tell ya how to do it
but then I'd have to charge
Step on a chair.
A: What in the Nine Hells is a light bulb??
A druid walks into a pub and orders a sandwich. When asked of what variety, he responds, "One with everything."
by cipriella
A: From one caturday to the next.
"We killed the dragon! We killed the Dragon! We ... we're never going to have girlfriends, are we?"
everyone claps except for the Rogue in the corner,
The druid confronts the rogue and asks why he did not clap about my epic key,
The rogue shrugs ans says, " Whats a key?"