Who doesn't love good ice magic?
Sadly, All the time this one CW performs on the stage, leave performing skills, he can't even blink!
'I can't attack I can't dodge' says running like a mantis!
Others go 'LTP LTP'
He tries Real Hard and realizes his friend TR is not among the group.
'LTP? Look to posterior? So that's the one behind me eh?' mutters the CW
Next day, he makes TR sit infront
Begins
.... ....
.... ....
.... ....
'I can't attack I can't dodge' 'I can't attack I can't dodge'
and the audience goes 'LTP LTP'
*gets killed by a Trickster*
Meh, I did not see that coming...
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chimera855Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users, Neverwinter Knight of the Feywild UsersPosts: 2Arc User
edited May 2013
I've been playing D&D since 1981 and my fondest memory is the "Gnome Trap Dispatcher".
Our DM was fond of making use of traps in his dungeons. On a particular nasty adventure our gnome rogue, 'Shifty', thought he disabled the trap but died to the numerous spears when he opened the chest. Fortunately we had found a resurrection rod on a prior adventure and were able to bring the little guy back from the dead. The next trap he came across he once again failed miserably and died from falling into a spike pit roughly 70 feet deep. We managed to get his body out but before he got resurrected someone suggested just tying a rope around him and using his body to trigger traps. So through the rest of the dungeon we would throw his body at things or areas that seemed 'to normal'. It wasn't a problem with our fighter having a girdle of giant strength. We even threw his body at a chest numerous times until the chest broke just to avoid any traps. Needless to say, Shifty wasn't very happy with how we used his body, but everyone including the DM was having a great time LOL.
Robert
PS: We did resurrect him after we got back to town, he still got a share of the loot for all the work he did hehehe.
Neverwinter more like never can stay logged on winter.
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waterdipperMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 2Arc User
edited May 2013
A good laugh recipe:
1. Grab an aggro of as many foes as you can.
2. Pull them to your afk friends (mmo version) or sleeping friends (p&p version).
3. Do the diplomacy check.
Enjoy the cacophony of curses while you are performing tofl (tumbling on the floor laughing).
After a week of adventure and intrigue, a weary traveler arrives home to his cottage in the mountains. Before settling down into his arm chair by the fire, he reaches into his satchel and produces three pieces of colored chalk: one red, one black, and one white. Then, proceeds to draw three circles around his arm chair: one red, one black and one white. Soon after settling down to rest, a priest appears in his doorway.
priest: "Sir, you have not been to church as of late and the alms bowl is awaiting your attention."
The traveler pointed at the white circle and replies,
traveler:"This is my Magic Circle against Good and you have no power here. Away with you."
Disappointed at this development, the priest leaves the cottage but returns shortly after with a criminal at his side. The traveler points at the black circle and says,
traveler: "Nice try. As you can see, I have a Magic Circle against Evil. Be gone."
The priest and the criminal leave once again and return once again with a third conspirator, a young prankster. Again, the traveler points at the red circle and says,
traveler:"You still have no power here, for I am protected against chaos as well."
The party of three leave the cottage and return a final time with a fourth party member, a suited man with a brief case. The priest says,
priest: "Thrice I have attempted to break your protection and thrice you have thwarted my attempts, but I see you have only three circles so I have brought The Law to summon you out of hiding."
The suited man crosses all three circles and gives the traveler a small scroll. The traveler examines it and replies,
traveler:"This isn't a court summons; this is a bill of sale?"
The lawyer responds,
lawyer: "Actually, I'm a defense attorney and I've come to sell you a piece of gold chalk."
two orcs are walking around in a city, when one orc falls over in pain, the first orc runs to a doctor. "Doc, come quick, My freind fell down!"
THe doctor responds "Is He dead?"
THe Orc leaves the office, returns shortly "He is now."
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sateriMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero UsersPosts: 4Arc User
edited May 2013
Q: How many potions did I need to buy to reach level 60 on my Control Wizard?
A: Haha, trick question! I'm spending my free time mending wounds at a campfire!
On teamspeak during a dungeon: Player: Don't open that chest! its a mimic! Group: ok! *Group moves on*
*few seconds later* Rogue:HELP! There is a chest chasing me!!! Rogue comes running with a chest chasing her through half the dungeon and into our group!
Explenation:I'm a rogue!
Of course every body knows why alignment was removed in fourth edition. The Society for Advancement of Drow (SAD) convinced the developers that it was discrimantory.
Another SAD joke.
Four half-orcs go to a restaurant and order dinner. After the meal, the waitress asks them to pay. They look shocked. One of them says, "We no pay. Only four. Menu says under twelve eat for free!"
*rimshot*
Q: Why did the dwarf put ice in his money bags?
A: He wanted cold, hard cash!
*rimshot*
Q: Why is a cleric like a shoe?
A: They both have heals!
Comments
A: Their parents making them eat at the table and away from their computer
ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)
Sadly, All the time this one CW performs on the stage, leave performing skills, he can't even blink!
'I can't attack I can't dodge' says running like a mantis!
Others go 'LTP LTP'
He tries Real Hard and realizes his friend TR is not among the group.
'LTP? Look to posterior? So that's the one behind me eh?' mutters the CW
Next day, he makes TR sit infront
Begins
.... ....
.... ....
.... ....
'I can't attack I can't dodge' 'I can't attack I can't dodge'
and the audience goes 'LTP LTP'
......................................................................................................................................................Eh?
(btw CWs easily kick any TRs butt at 60.)
There has to be some point to them.
IronBeard: Queen are you a good tank?
Queen: Abrams is a good tank - i'm a QUEEN!
Meh, I did not see that coming...
Our DM was fond of making use of traps in his dungeons. On a particular nasty adventure our gnome rogue, 'Shifty', thought he disabled the trap but died to the numerous spears when he opened the chest. Fortunately we had found a resurrection rod on a prior adventure and were able to bring the little guy back from the dead. The next trap he came across he once again failed miserably and died from falling into a spike pit roughly 70 feet deep. We managed to get his body out but before he got resurrected someone suggested just tying a rope around him and using his body to trigger traps. So through the rest of the dungeon we would throw his body at things or areas that seemed 'to normal'. It wasn't a problem with our fighter having a girdle of giant strength. We even threw his body at a chest numerous times until the chest broke just to avoid any traps. Needless to say, Shifty wasn't very happy with how we used his body, but everyone including the DM was having a great time LOL.
Robert
PS: We did resurrect him after we got back to town, he still got a share of the loot for all the work he did hehehe.
70% tieflings and 30% terrified!
Because they were playing 4th edition.
She was an out-of-control wizard.
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1. Grab an aggro of as many foes as you can.
2. Pull them to your afk friends (mmo version) or sleeping friends (p&p version).
3. Do the diplomacy check.
Enjoy the cacophony of curses while you are performing tofl (tumbling on the floor laughing).
priest: "Sir, you have not been to church as of late and the alms bowl is awaiting your attention."
The traveler pointed at the white circle and replies,
traveler: "This is my Magic Circle against Good and you have no power here. Away with you."
Disappointed at this development, the priest leaves the cottage but returns shortly after with a criminal at his side. The traveler points at the black circle and says,
traveler: "Nice try. As you can see, I have a Magic Circle against Evil. Be gone."
The priest and the criminal leave once again and return once again with a third conspirator, a young prankster. Again, the traveler points at the red circle and says,
traveler: "You still have no power here, for I am protected against chaos as well."
The party of three leave the cottage and return a final time with a fourth party member, a suited man with a brief case. The priest says,
priest: "Thrice I have attempted to break your protection and thrice you have thwarted my attempts, but I see you have only three circles so I have brought The Law to summon you out of hiding."
The suited man crosses all three circles and gives the traveler a small scroll. The traveler examines it and replies,
traveler: "This isn't a court summons; this is a bill of sale?"
The lawyer responds,
lawyer: "Actually, I'm a defense attorney and I've come to sell you a piece of gold chalk."
THe doctor responds "Is He dead?"
THe Orc leaves the office, returns shortly "He is now."
A: Haha, trick question! I'm spending my free time mending wounds at a campfire!
Put him in a round room and tell him you put a gold piece in the corner.
Player: Don't open that chest! its a mimic!
Group: ok!
*Group moves on*
*few seconds later*
Rogue: HELP! There is a chest chasing me!!!
Rogue comes running with a chest chasing her through half the dungeon and into our group!
Explenation: I'm a rogue!
Another SAD joke.
*rimshot*
Four half-orcs go to a restaurant and order dinner. After the meal, the waitress asks them to pay. They look shocked. One of them says, "We no pay. Only four. Menu says under twelve eat for free!"
*rimshot*
Q: Why did the dwarf put ice in his money bags?
A: He wanted cold, hard cash!
*rimshot*
Q: Why is a cleric like a shoe?
A: They both have heals!
AXE deodorant