Want to win a
Neverwinter "Party Time" shirt, a
Logitech G400 gaming mouse, or even a
Logitech G19 gaming keyboard? It's easy! Tell us your best
Neverwinter or Dungeons & Dragons joke and/or pun and you could be a lucky winner!
More details including rules:
http://nw.perfectworld.com/news/?p=896931.
Contest begins:
May 24, 2013 at 12:00 P.M. PDT (Pacific)Contest ends:
May 28, 2013 at 12:00 P.M. PDT (Pacific)
Submit your entries in this thread to qualify!
Comments
*The goblin leads off with a song*
goblin brew
good for you
drink, drink, drink
yum, yum, yum
Sleep all day
so much fun
wake up late
past the sun
Drink, Drink, Drink
The.. Goblin... Brew....
*The dwarf bows.*
Good evening Neverwinter! Give it up to me little gobbie friend!
A knight walks into a bar and says...
Glad I just looted this Defender's Helm of Restoration.
*The crowd mumbles.*
So... I went to the bar earlier and asked for a drink. The bartender said, "That will be 16 copper".
I told her, "I'm a little Short".
The dwarf lets out a big Bwahahaha
Why are dwarves such great guys?
Because we don't look down on anyone...
*The dwarf looks at the Halfling and shrugs.*
Sorry didn't see ye there... What do you call a chunky dwarf?
Low Fat.
Ok... Ok.. I'm killin' me self.
A knight rides by a young boy who is draggin' some wood back to his house. The knight says, "Hey kid you like dragons"?
The kid responds, "YES SIR"
The knight says, "well you better keep dragggon that wood back to ye house".
*The dwarf is the only one laughing in the pub.*
Being on the the Sword Coast I'm sure ye'all be see'n some pirates? Ye know why pirates are pirates?
Because they just arrrrrr!
*The crowd Boooooooooooos!*
Aye... Ye be wantin' a ghost and undead joke! What room do Valindra and her gang of dead avoid?
The livin' room!
What did the skeleton order to eat at the Driftwood Tavern in Protector's Enclave?
Spare Ribs!!!
Do rotters eat corn with their fingers?
No. They eat the fingers separately...
One more... ha ha ha.. one more! Why do skeletons hate the cold?
The wind goes right through them!
*The halfling gets up to leave*
ahhh ye be wantin' in on the fun little grumblebelly?
What do halflings make sandwiches with?
Shortbread!
*The goblin sidekick brings the dwarf an ale.*
Ye know what be better then one ale? TWO!
Two be better than one...
Three be better than two...
The more ale ye bring...
The more Hoopty will sing!
BWAHAHAHA!!!
*The dwarf and goblin bow, and leave the stage.*
*The crowd burst in cheers!*
the man asks: what kind of ride is this?
the dwarf replies: bungyjumping for gnomes.
"It killed the entire party since nobody fired Magic Missile."
[Mixed Metaphor D&D joke!]
The Halfing rogue with them says, "You guys didn't see that?"
The elf places his napkin over the glass and pushes it off to the side.
The human removes the fly and keeps drinking.
The dwarf pulls out the fly and starts yelling, "Spit it out, ya *******! Spit it out!"
Yeah, you heard right... u.u
The dungeons music and fxs are so well made, that I got involved right in the dungeon, being more terrified, than my guardian for sure...
But at the same time, it's an awesome feeling
Cheers guys! thanks for making sucha great game
Only the bottom halves of the shelves are empty.
How do you know an elf raided your pantry?
Only vegetables and fruits are missing.
How do you know an ogre raided your pantry?
Pantry? What pantry?
"My crits are bigger than yours"
playing half orc monk
decide to play something beyond weaboo 'i am a master of martial arts'
spend 100 gp on inlaid mask with intricate tribal designs sewn on the side with a 'fin'
BECOME LOS TIBURON, THE SHARK OF THE LAND, MASKED WRESTLER
take feats revolving around grappling
grapple EVERYTHING
EVERYTHING
EVERY. SINGLE. THING.
including, but not limited to, a bear
final part of campaign
OH SNAP A DRAGON
dragon acts like a <font color="orange">HAMSTER</font>, ducking into water and popping up to use breath weapon
forget that, I'm charging him
brother, playing warforged fighter, assists my MIGHTY LEAP into the air, where I pose in mid-air, shouting about the HONOR OF THE MASK
TACKLE A FREAKING DRAGON
deal unarmed damage, latch on, take deep breath in preparation for the underwater struggle
dragon goes up. forgot they can actually fly.
DM gives me option to let go before he goes up. Screw that, I'm still wrestling.
200 FEET IN THE AIR, STILL WRESTLING A DRAGON AND DEALING UNARMED DAMAGE
Dragon actually starts hurting me. Have to come up with a plan. BRILLIANCE STRIKES ME.
"I roll to pin."
Entire table is silent.
I roll to 'pin' his wings behind his back, so he can't fly anymore.
ENTIRE TABLE IS LEANING OVER SO I CAN MAKE MY ROLL OF DESTINY
NATURAL. FREAKING. TWENTY.
I pin the dragon's wings, sending it and me hurtling into ground. I have six seconds to make my final statement.
"I AM LOS TIBURON! And I am...a lucha!!!"
Dragon's neck snaps on impact
Through sheer luck or GM fiat, possibly both, I survive with -4 HP
Cleric puts me back at one, picks me up, holding one arm into the air
My brother immediately bangs his shield twice, making a bell noise
Party's bard/diplomancer: "And the winner is....Los Tiburon!"
high fives all around
The drow is the first to approach the edge. "Jump!" yell the humans. "It's your only chance!"
Seeing no other alternative, the drow jumps off the roof. The humans pull away the blanket, leaving the drow to splat on the street, dead.
Next is the tiefling. "Come on, you have to jump!" the humans shout.
"I don't think so," the tiefling responds. "You're just going to pull away the blanket and leave me to die!"
"No we're not!" the humans yell back. "It's just drow we don't like. We're fine with tieflings!"
Convinced, the tiefling jumps off and goes splat as the humans pull back the blanket.
Only the half-orc remains on top of the burning building. "Hurry up and jump or you're gonna burn!" the humans shout.
"Nothing you humans say is gonna convince me you won't pull away the blanket," the half-orc responds. "So before I jump, I want you to set the blanket on the ground and back away."
Everyone else in the room pulls out dice and books.
A little one.
My son when younger loved playing neverwinter nights, baldur's gate, and their successors. he got quite successful with them and was able to excel. Very first Real D&D game we played he recalled his bard from the computer game and decided to make one for tabletop.
Very first encounter i had a small cottage with a few kobolds in it, he decides that in the fashion of the computer games he had become accustomed to he rushes in , with much swash and buckle, leaps on a table and skewers a kobold. in return the remaining 5 loos their crossbow bolts in in general vicinity and kill him twice over.
What happened next was a very lengthy discussion about tactics, tabletop gaming, and computer games :-)
Who's there
Falafel
Falafel who ?
Falafel off my Appaloosa and hurt my knee
Guildmate 1 - "I'm so lucky, my GF is one of those people that sleeps 12+ hours a day."
Guildmate 2 - "Why does that make you lucky?"
Guildmate 1 - "Because I have more time to play without her bothering me. I love her so much for that."
Guildmate 2 - "Ooooooooooooh.... so you weren't talking about a guardian fighter. I get it now."
PS. Do I get bonus points for the name of my guild <iTyrant> considering I play on the beholder server?
Try out my first foundry mission - The Missing Youth - NW-DGX79EG65
Look at the size of their fingers!!
Being swallowed was part of the gnome's plan.
R: General Knox!
and also...
Zombies can't dance, they have no soul!
oh and...
Did you hear about the bards that robbed the music store? They were luters!
That way, I could run a Bulette with Butterfly Wings.
Castles & Chemo: Granting a +4 to Saves vs Cancer!