My First Foundry Quest: Echoes of the Crown Wars

runis12

Hello, Foundry friends! I just completed my first ever Foundry quest. "I'll play yours if you play mine." Ha! I am not uber good at Foundry yet, but I'd like your feedback on what I've done so far. Please review! Nitpickers welcome. Here is some info about the quest:

CAMPAIGN NAME: Echoes of the Crown Wars (NWS-DACHDAG7X)

Episode 1: Return From the Void (NW-DRFKYD2CN)

Tags: Story, Lore, Romance, Exploration, Kill, Puzzle, Jump, Retrieval, Secret, Solo


The elite Tormir Dragoons are dedicated to fighting and protecting the world from creatures of the Far Realm. Help them defeat aberrations rising from an ancient underground dwarven kingdom and brace yourself for the return of a long forgotten race of elves who seek to claim the Crystal Valley for themselves.

-Detailed, custom environments.
-A variety of dialogue choices to better reflect your character....
-This quest introduces NPCs that you will be able to solidify a romance with in later quests.
-There are secret items and lore bits to be found if you're willing to explore!
-The secret items will aid in a faster playthrough (good for multiple, faster runs).


Created for/Tested for: SOLO player. (Groups make interactables buggy!)
Estimated Duration: 30min - 90min (Depends on your desire to explore.)
Amount of Combat: Light to Heavy (Adjustable with certain key items)
Difficulty: Standard

Screenshots in below post.

runis12

Not award-winning screenshots, but here are some of Episode 1: From the Void

http://imgur.com/03AfYwm
http://imgur.com/MrY6BGg
http://imgur.com/60xrdPK
http://imgur.com/noKa3J7
http://imgur.com/mQZyuXS
http://imgur.com/lvGvaYE
http://imgur.com/qhZosgi
http://imgur.com/I1uX3a5

oortexplorer

Was going to ask you to play mine, but you already have! Thanks, will check it out tonight or tomorrow.

runis12

Ah, yes, I played yours already oortexplorer! hehe. Thanks.

zuviele

I'm interested; I'll check it out. If you're willing, I also have a quest in need of review. It's in my signature.

Update:
I haven't played yet, but I will do it tonight

runis12

Sure, I'll check it out first thing when I wake up. Thanks Zuviele!

runis12

*fan girl squeal at my first 5stars* ^^ Got a few plays while I was sleeping last night. I realized I posted my quest at probably the worst possible time - at like 1AM. And then there was maintenance! so /bewty bump?!

meysa

I'll review yours now, if you could review mine in return, I'd appreciate it.

Some of the trees, in the first camp where Aiden is, need to be raised up, they cause some serious sight adn clipping issues when fighting one of the patrols there.

Same thing on the Bodysnatcher\Dragoon quest

Maybe make the burning corpses of the Dragoons transition into ash, or something, after a while.

On the Find a way to the Communication Crystal, I think you have to ask yourself why would they put that up there. It doesn't make any sense to me, or maybe I'm letting the fact that I dislike jumping puzzles sway my opinion, or it could be that the pathing system bugs annoyed me.

Talking with Mharuut the Eathmender: One of the dialogue options takes you to something that says "My trust isn't easily dispensed...recognizing a shed of light..." Maybe add an r to the word shred there.

The defeat the void forces quest, doesn't tell you to actually go into the portal. Maybe put something there for that. I was expecting them to come out.

After you're done meeting the high priestess, I'd consider putting in a task to go back through the portal.

Maybe assuming that guy characters want to be proposed to, by another guy character is a bit much.

When I was on the 3 Puzzle quest, I ranover your land bridge, passed where Gartamon is, and continued over there near Chipoltle, the horse, and something caused a ton of groups of the Mind Twists to agro me. There must've been 30-40 of them. WE can duo the quest, if you like and I can show you what I did, if you can't duplicate it. You should consider these monsters appear after the Star Altar is buillt.

You need to have markers or area's to go to collect the items Jerah is building. Games have enough tedium without adding more.

Maybe I'm just not familiar with the lore you're referencing for this, or I missed some text that was important somewhere, but the whole Scorpius and the magical wall sequence didn't make any sense to me

runis12

Sure, just got done with zuviele's. I'll play yours now meysa!

runis12

You must really hate gnolls, meysa. :-p!!!!

drakesigar

I'll check this one out soon. Your tags sound way more interesting than the usual ones I see: kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, stor- I mean kill.

runis12

Thanks Meysa for the advice! Other reviewers commented on

-low trees
-communication crystal
-the weird bridge wave of mobs

I'll be looking into this today! thanks! And unfortunately there are multiple ways to do the "build the altar" quest, so I cannot make the ingredients objectives

delthanin

I'll give this a look tomorrow morning. Looks very interesting.

Obviously you don't need to review mine again.

runis12

Thanks Delth, :-) Ah, meysa, that magical wall is a Wall of Force spell from D&D^^; Perhaps I should add an explanation , eh?

meysa

runis12 wrote: »

Thanks Delth, :-) Ah, meysa, that magical wall is a Wall of Force spell from D&D^^; Perhaps I should add an explanation , eh?

Well that makes sense. You asked for a review, so I spent about 2 hours in there, literally clicking on everything seeing what it did. I don't know if you ran through mine yet, but if you have, or when you do, you'll see I try to lead people along. The reason I do that is because of the age and experience difference between the people running Foundry quests. Don't get me wrong, I liked a lot about your design, almost everything in fact. I just firmly believe that when you introduce the possibility for confusion into a quest, that you will invariably have people who will be confused and quit, rather than trying to figure it out.

Gimme a holler if there is anything I can do.

runis12

Version 1.03 Update/Fixes

-Trees are no longer your worst enemy in Crystal Valley and have had some growth spurts.
-Mindtwist eyes are no longer curious about you crossing Laocoon Bridge and will not aggro you from below.
-Neiyu really wants you to follow Aiden through the portal to fight Star Maiden Varanea's forces.
-"Meet Zaelius" is now "Use the portal near Te'Riel or walk back to meet Zaelius."
-Mharuut likes the word "shred" instead of "shed" now.
-Added dialogue to let the player know that a "Wall of Force" spell is active and blocking your friends!
-Celestial light from an unbuilt Altar of Stars no longer prematurely shows the way to Gartastok.
-Mharuut now leaves the Altar's construction site when the altar is built.
-Captain Oakes' notes regarding Odessa and the player are now gender neutral.
-Ra'Eyl now shows up to do his job and advises you to take Zaelius' portals.
-Gartamon is no longer trapped underground on the final boss platform and shows up to chat.
-Kyrie is now wearing appropriate clothes.
-You can no longer get stuck behind the curious fence near a certain NPC's secret flavor item.
-Aiden is no longer psycho mode while patrolling in a triangle in the Feathermoon Meadow. He's opted to chill with a lantern.

-Special thanks to captaingordon23, meysa, cheeselizard, dagfaris, drakkan00 on helping me on these.

runis12

Shorter quest idea in mind for Episode 2. And the romance options are no longer "introductory" and will make a bigger impact. :rolleyes: I was thinking of holding a contest for Episode 2 of some sort. Perhaps the reward will be making a romanceable NPC based off of someone's actual character in-game or idea. ;3

runis12

Thx for the tips, guys--- you didn't have to. :o Honestly don't play much of the actual game besides people's foundries!

captaingordon23

dat banner tho

racerxdag

was awesome really enjoyed it get to work on the next part zomg

zuviele

Wow. Just wow. I am not worthy. I feel silly for even asking you to review my quest now. It's like asking a god to review a cantrip.

runis12

( ͡ _ ͡ ) Aw, thank you so much zuviele ! ! Thank you for playing my quest! I know it is a bit lengthy-- you didn't have to tip! ! Find any buggies or have any advice on how to make it better? I admit I do not have the best technical skill yet with creating quests, like a lot of the Foundry veterans here on forums. I just made a new character in-game to better run Foundry quests (eww @ my first character I made-- a cleric!). I will for sure run your quest! !

zuviele

You already did run my quest
I did find one bug. In the middle of your main map, you have a big boulder that has a partial cave dug into it. Over the cave you put a fence. I thought it might be a secret place, so I found a way to jump in there...it was much harder getting out.

I'd recommend putting an invisible wall over any exposed opening.

runis12

:mad: Hm, I did add an invisible wall earlier today after my brother did the same thing. I'm checking it out now! Thanks ! ;( ͡ _ ͡ ) Oops! I did another quest with the word "Harper" in it. I guess I got confused! !

runis12

Okay, new invis walls placed. If someone else jumps that fence, I swearrrrrr~~~

drakesigar

Thoughts:

Oh I calmed the spirits of the dead all right, by calmly ramming a sword through their chests.

Neiya, are you still crying? Your friends were killed half an hour ago, get over it.

Chipotle ‘senses’ there’s a piece of treasure off that 100 foot drop. I think he’s secretly an evil genius and built me up this far just so he can lead me to a leap of faith that offers no prize but my grisly death! Well I’m onto you, horsey. I am not your meat puppet.

So who did my dwarf try to romance? Everyone. Men, women, animals, no one is safe.

runis12

drakesigar wrote: »

Chipotle ‘senses’ there’s a piece of treasure off that 100 foot drop. I think he’s secretly an evil genius and built me up this far just so he can lead me to a leap of faith that offers no prize but my grisly death! Well I’m onto you, horsey. I am not your meat puppet.

So who did my dwarf try to romance? Everyone. Men, women, animals, no one is safe.

( ͡ _ ͡ )Sounds like you didn't find T's Rune of Fate!?! Thank you for playing Drake!!!

lumicakery

Hello, trade reviews with mine please? Mine is in my sig, thanks .

runis12

Cool, lumicakery, I look at it after some much needed sleep. Thanks!

delthanin

This was incredibly well done. A lot of effort obviously went into this, and it paid off in spades.

I really appreciate the interesting merging of existing lore with your own offshoot take on it. Doesn't feel disruptive.

The environments were fantastic. I did fall into a random hole next to Dragoon Hemsworth when in the caves, but it wasn't a serious issue. I'm not sure if it's intentional for the possibility of accidentally falling into pits in that area or not.

Fun NPCs. I wasn't sure on Aiden until (SPOILERS) the Harper reveal. Looking forward to seeing what else is done with these characters.(END SPOILERS)

Very minor gripe: I'm not a fan when people use the default "Go to next map" as a quest objective. It's not a big deal, but it's one of those little things that rubs me wrong for some silly reason.

First time I gave a max tip before. I honestly was trying to find things to be more constructive with my feedback, but I was only able to find those minor things. Thanks for sharing this, update us when you're done with the next part!

runis12

Thank you, delthanin! You didn't have to tip!!! I honestly don't play the actual game enough besides Foundry! Actually, it was your quest that made me revamp all of my dialogue to have the goody/humorous/aggressive choices--- I should name an NPC after you in the next installment What shall the name be?!! I am not a fan of the "Go to next map" either. Do you remember which transition that is?! *bow* ;_;