androidecMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 5Arc User
edited May 2013
My Joke is my T-Shirt Art idea!
Give LOL for it! Change Berserker to your class name, and tcharam!
A Beautifull idea for a T-shirt becomes true!
GIVE ME CREDITS BACK CREDITS CREDITS!!! Hummm, i think i'm getting some disease from Mob Miners. :P
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headlessroosterMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 4Arc User
edited May 2013
A Cleric walks into a pit fight, casts Shield of Law and then plops down, stretches out, relaxes. The Pitmaster asks, "What does this look like Pal, a den?"
Upon encountering a bunch of twitching villagers (bottom right), our hero Orcward enlightens another player about the ancient art of twitching!
Read the whole story here: http://imgur.com/Z7xHNHN
On personal request, Orcward might divulge the ancient art of twitching to developers or well-pursed players!
An orc walks into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bartender says "Wow, that's really neat. Where'd you get it?"
"In a cave." the parrot replies.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] The entire campaign can be found here:NWS-DQS27OINC
Individual quests:
1. Heeding the Call - NW-DMJCDZ5XJ
2. Bored of the Rings - NW-DFWE3XR6W
3. Draconian Ways - NW-DUNZEJG2J
4. When All is Said and Done... - Look at the picture
A couple playing Neverwinter on a voice chat conversation:
Boy: Honey, what's our quest now?
Girl: Wait, I'm gonna check the quest tracker.
Boy: Go for the nearest quest location.
Girl: Okay.
**Scans the quest log and quest tracker**
Girl: Honey, I found the nearest quest here just about in our location.
Boy: Okay, what does it say?
Girl: Light up the bacon.
Boy: Light up the what???
Girl: The bacon.
Boy: Bacon?! What bacon?
Girl: Check your quest log.
**Boy reads the quest**
Boy: Honey, are you hungry?
Girl: Well, not really. Why?
Boy: It says beacon. Not bacon, honey.
Girl: Ugh. Just light up the thing.
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weeatdimsumMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 0Arc User
edited May 2013
You guys said it could be Neverwinter related right? Community related too? If so: "I'll let you know soon."
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retingardeMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 1Arc User
edited May 2013
How was playing on Caturday like filling in the role of Dungeon Master for your little bro's D&D game?
...
You have a lot of fun, are pretty sure some rules are being broken, and in the end everything amounts to about 7 hours of rollbacks!
((Get it? Like... like when a player takes back their roll. But also server rollbacks! The joke initially sets up two very different scenarios but then unifies them tangentially through the use a double entendre! Having explained the joke, I feel confident that it is at least 150% more amusing than it was four sentences ago. This is how humor works, right?? I am pretty sure it is.))
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ebbit04Member, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 1Arc User
edited May 2013
Ned Stark was wrong, it's Neverwinter in Faerun...
A guy is sitting in at the tavern and turns to the Tiefling guy next to him and asks:
"Hey do you know, Fireball, Maelstrom or any of Necromancy <font color="orange">HAMSTER</font>?"
Offended, the Tiefling replies: "What, you think that just because i'm a Tiefling that i know magic?"
The man replies: "Nah its because you're drinking my mead!"
Dear momma,
I don't understand, i try to make new friends and go
to dungeons with them, but we always get Wiped,
and on top of it, most of them put me on an ignore list of sort,
I'm starting to think, above ground worldly folks no nothing about dungeoning whatsoever at all...
Anyways, tata for now, I'll write you next week.
Signed: your loving son...
Lee Roy Jenkins.
A Necromancer goes to the ingredient store and asks,
' I would like to purchase 2 pounds of Orc Brains please '
He went Bankrupt !
P.S: my wife came up with it even though she doesn't play much and she says she'd be more like a Dwarf herself if she did get involved at any point.
So to that i replied: ' you mean your hairy and smelly ', and
then, I went bankrupt...Arrrr,Arrr.Arrr, hehe!
Player to DM says..wait, I rolled a 9 and cleric rolled an 8 and the hafling rogue rolled a 7 and he gets to killl ME? what gives?
DM replies, ' why of course, because 7..8-9 (Seven Ate(eight) Nine) '.
A party walks into a bar and takes a table near the back. As they are sitting around talking, a gorgeous woman walks up and with only a few words and a smile the rogue takes her towards the stairs. The others laugh, used to it, and continue drinking.
A few minutes later a handsome man walks up and whispers a few words to the cleric. Her face goes scarlet, but after a guilty glance at her friends she smiles into the man's face, and nods before following him up the stairs. The three remaining party members look at one another, and the guardian shrugs and says "Well I guess it's just us three." The wizard only raises an eyebrow,
then stands up and saunters over to a well-dressed woman sitting by herself. His hand brushes hers, and her eyes light up and before long they too are making their way up the stairs.
The fighter lets out a rude laugh, and turns to the guardian. "Watch this for a bit would ya?" he says, setting his massive sword to lean against the wall. The big man gets up and stretches, then walks towards a buxom barmaid. After a crude joke and a gesture towards his pants the woman lets out a delighted laugh and they disappear into the kitchens.
A few more minutes pass as the guardian nurses his ale until finally a woman approaches him. Only a few words pass between them though, and soon she walks off, an angry look on her face. This happens a few more times before finally the bartender comes over. "Everything alright?" he asks. "Yea, why?" the guardian replies, sounding a bit gruff. The bartender nods his head towards the last woman to walk away. The guardian shrugged, "They said I'm too defensive."
What's the difference between and Great Weapon Fighter and a rock? A rock has uses.
What's the difference between a Trickster Rogue and a Guardian Fighter? About half the playerbase
What's the difference between a Halfling and a Tiefling? A couple feet.
A monk walks over to a hot dog vendor and says "I'll have one with everything" and hands the vendor a gold piece. The monk gets his hot dog and after a minute or so says "So where's my change?" to which the vendor replies, "Change comes from within".
A dwarf, Elf and human sit down at a bar...The elf orders 3 pints for the party..."The dwarf replies thats all fine and dandy but what are you lads going to drink?"
I fell the other day and broke my leg...It's ok though I sat by a campfire and it got better after 5 mins.
What does a halfing and mans best friend have in common? They both can fit through the doggy door.
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kaninchenMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 0Arc User
edited May 2013
What's the deal with Moonstone Tavern food, huh?? Am I right??
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daneosaurMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 0Arc User
edited May 2013
What kind of person makes you run around saving Neverwinter endlessly?
An obknoxious one.:rolleyes:
Neverwinter Dev's released a new patch! Finally maybe some new content but it was an update for Sergeant Knox.:(
I got into a car accident with a man named Sergeant Knox. He told me he rear-ended me making a right turn because he couldn't see.
I could've swore Sergeant Knox was Cyclops from the X-Men.:cool:
"Participation in PVP-related activities is so low on an hourly, daily, weekly, and monthly basis that we could in fact just completely take it out of STO and it would not impact the overall number of people [who] log in to the game and play in any significant way." -Gozer, Cryptic PvP Dev
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camclemonsMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero UsersPosts: 6Arc User
Two men talking in a bar:
Did ya hear about that cult breaking into tombs?
Yea, its a big mess that, making zombies of our ancestors.
Well last night I hear they broke into the tomb of a famous composer. But they left the corpse alone laughing to themselves.
Oh? now why's that?
They said he was busy decomposing.
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camclemonsMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero UsersPosts: 6Arc User
edited May 2013
A Drow Ranger orders a salad at a tavern. When asked if he would like dressing, he replied "Just a Drizztle..."
Comments
Give LOL for it! Change Berserker to your class name, and tcharam!
A Beautifull idea for a T-shirt becomes true!
GIVE ME CREDITS BACK CREDITS CREDITS!!! Hummm, i think i'm getting some disease from Mob Miners. :P
Read the whole story here:
http://imgur.com/Z7xHNHN
On personal request, Orcward might divulge the ancient art of twitching to developers or well-pursed players!
For the Orcs the Goblins are smart and dangerous rivals.
For our party they're around 45 EXP.
________________________________________________________
Good luck to everyone!
Bad joke I know but made me lol
- He didn't prepare teleport today.
"In a cave." the parrot replies.
The entire campaign can be found here: NWS-DQS27OINC
Individual quests:
1. Heeding the Call - NW-DMJCDZ5XJ
2. Bored of the Rings - NW-DFWE3XR6W
3. Draconian Ways - NW-DUNZEJG2J
4. When All is Said and Done... - Look at the picture
Boy: Honey, what's our quest now?
Girl: Wait, I'm gonna check the quest tracker.
Boy: Go for the nearest quest location.
Girl: Okay.
**Scans the quest log and quest tracker**
Girl: Honey, I found the nearest quest here just about in our location.
Boy: Okay, what does it say?
Girl: Light up the bacon.
Boy: Light up the what???
Girl: The bacon.
Boy: Bacon?! What bacon?
Girl: Check your quest log.
**Boy reads the quest**
Boy: Honey, are you hungry?
Girl: Well, not really. Why?
Boy: It says beacon. Not bacon, honey.
Girl: Ugh. Just light up the thing.
...
You have a lot of fun, are pretty sure some rules are being broken, and in the end everything amounts to about 7 hours of rollbacks!
((Get it? Like... like when a player takes back their roll. But also server rollbacks! The joke initially sets up two very different scenarios but then unifies them tangentially through the use a double entendre! Having explained the joke, I feel confident that it is at least 150% more amusing than it was four sentences ago. This is how humor works, right?? I am pretty sure it is.))
...Because the thief didn't disarm it first.
what is the quickest thing in the world?
an human replies:
it's the shooting of my arrow!
everyone thinks is this !
an elf replies:
is the thinking ! because you need to think before shooting.
everyone yells is this !
then an orc responds:
is diarrhea !
that before you think...
you shat yourself !
"Hey do you know, Fireball, Maelstrom or any of Necromancy <font color="orange">HAMSTER</font>?"
Offended, the Tiefling replies: "What, you think that just because i'm a Tiefling that i know magic?"
The man replies: "Nah its because you're drinking my mead!"
Dear momma,
I don't understand, i try to make new friends and go
to dungeons with them, but we always get Wiped,
and on top of it, most of them put me on an ignore list of sort,
I'm starting to think, above ground worldly folks no nothing about dungeoning whatsoever at all...
Anyways, tata for now, I'll write you next week.
Signed: your loving son...
Lee Roy Jenkins.
A Necromancer goes to the ingredient store and asks,
' I would like to purchase 2 pounds of Orc Brains please '
He went Bankrupt !
P.S: my wife came up with it even though she doesn't play much and she says she'd be more like a Dwarf herself if she did get involved at any point.
So to that i replied: ' you mean your hairy and smelly ', and
then, I went bankrupt...Arrrr,Arrr.Arrr, hehe!
Player to DM says..wait, I rolled a 9 and cleric rolled an 8 and the hafling rogue rolled a 7 and he gets to killl ME? what gives?
DM replies, ' why of course, because 7..8-9 (Seven Ate(eight) Nine) '.
A party walks into a bar and takes a table near the back. As they are sitting around talking, a gorgeous woman walks up and with only a few words and a smile the rogue takes her towards the stairs. The others laugh, used to it, and continue drinking.
A few minutes later a handsome man walks up and whispers a few words to the cleric. Her face goes scarlet, but after a guilty glance at her friends she smiles into the man's face, and nods before following him up the stairs. The three remaining party members look at one another, and the guardian shrugs and says "Well I guess it's just us three." The wizard only raises an eyebrow,
then stands up and saunters over to a well-dressed woman sitting by herself. His hand brushes hers, and her eyes light up and before long they too are making their way up the stairs.
The fighter lets out a rude laugh, and turns to the guardian. "Watch this for a bit would ya?" he says, setting his massive sword to lean against the wall. The big man gets up and stretches, then walks towards a buxom barmaid. After a crude joke and a gesture towards his pants the woman lets out a delighted laugh and they disappear into the kitchens.
A few more minutes pass as the guardian nurses his ale until finally a woman approaches him. Only a few words pass between them though, and soon she walks off, an angry look on her face. This happens a few more times before finally the bartender comes over. "Everything alright?" he asks. "Yea, why?" the guardian replies, sounding a bit gruff. The bartender nods his head towards the last woman to walk away. The guardian shrugged, "They said I'm too defensive."
What's the difference between a Trickster Rogue and a Guardian Fighter? About half the playerbase
What's the difference between a Halfling and a Tiefling? A couple feet.
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night.
TYRS PALADIUM - A Premier Neverwinter Online Guild
No Drama. Camaraderie. TEAM Focus. That's the TYRS way. If that's your style, come join us!
Research our Guild here: Read our official Recruitment thread | Sign up here: Tyrs Guild Website! | NEVERWINTER GUILD LEADERS: Join the Fellowship!
I fell the other day and broke my leg...It's ok though I sat by a campfire and it got better after 5 mins.
What does a halfing and mans best friend have in common? They both can fit through the doggy door.
An obknoxious one.:rolleyes:
Neverwinter Dev's released a new patch! Finally maybe some new content but it was an update for Sergeant Knox.:(
I got into a car accident with a man named Sergeant Knox. He told me he rear-ended me making a right turn because he couldn't see.
I could've swore Sergeant Knox was Cyclops from the X-Men.:cool:
Kobold and the Beautiful!
Because it's Never Winter!
Did ya hear about that cult breaking into tombs?
Yea, its a big mess that, making zombies of our ancestors.
Well last night I hear they broke into the tomb of a famous composer. But they left the corpse alone laughing to themselves.
Oh? now why's that?
They said he was busy decomposing.