Holiday Drow Mercenary Giveaway 12/22!

annaofnw

Hm, I have my PC tower to my right!! I would grab the ineffective Windows 10 update and cast it at Tiamat with all the flourish of a seasoned CW player, then I would grab the cute lil Xmas tree on top of the tower and aim it for its head(s), followed by a swift flipflop to the body..*Tiamat DOWN by the smell of an over ripe thong (flip-flop)* GG

mynaam

I have to grab a pack of batteries .... guess i wil have to charge myself up

cannonfodder911

So, I grabbed the laptop to occupy my mind while on the toilet.....to my right..........................is the bath tub...... this.....................could get interesting!!!!!!!!!!!! It is a Jacuzzi tub so there is the motor and piping t consider, BUT, there being a high probability that the only electricity anywhere nearby will be coming at me from the blue head of Tiamat, I'm thinking the motor has just become a blunt flying object at best... maybe I can fashion a crude walker of sorts out of the plastic piping as it appears that I will be needing one after going up against the Mother of all chromatic dragons with only a bath tub. Now for the tub itself. Perhaps I could hide under it until she leaves and pray she doesn't see me, but other than that and offering to dip her claws into a solution of Palmolive one at a time to make them feel so much smother... I think I'm pretty much screwed here... Had I just read this before entering the bathroom, as I collect swords and shields, I would have been far better prepared sitting in my bed :-)

zebular

beckylunatic said:

zebular said:

I grab my kitten, Gandalf the Grey, and scream "Thou Shall Not Pass!" then throw him at Tiamat and run like hell.

Ahh, that's terrible. Poor kitteh.

It's okay, he'll come back more wiser, with sharper claws and teeth and more powerful than ever as Gandalf the White.

ricardo1709

Upon having my bowstring snap, I look to the person on my right and know there's only one option left to kill Tiamat... Throw the halfling. In the end, midget tossing IS the best ranged weapon ^;^

legendarylycan

ricardo1709 wrote: »

Upon having my bowstring snap, I look to the person on my right and know there's only one option left to kill Tiamat... Throw the Dwarf. In the end, midget tossing IS the best ranged weapon ^;^

fixed so i can make the obvious joke: "No one tosses a Dwarf!"​​

icyclass

I move my hand slightly to the right and pick up the remote control. I close my eyes, mutter "Corellon preserve us!" and hit the power button....

mirraidar

LOL, to my right is my girlfriend. So this one is easy. I tell her that i just saw Tiamat with the exact same dress as her, then sit back and watch the Tiamat beating unfold. Now there is a scary picture. Hairpulling, plates flying at Tiamat like any at-will power and b*tchslapping. Tiamat is a goner. She's crazy I tell u, crazy!

And kids please don't try this at home, not even proffessionals are safe here, speaking from experience...

philippeletriv

On my right there's chuck norris. So i directly jump in tiamat's maw i have more chance to survive this way

flehstiffer

Seeing as it's 5 am here, and i'm here instead of sleeping, I'll grab my sleeping pills and pray they are more effective on tiamat than myself.

michaelrn1982

A hanger and clean clothes, because we know how much pain doing laundry really is.

misquamacus2

Having only my keyboard to rely on, I'll quickly remember how I used to kill dragons when I played text adventures.

I quickly type:

- Kill dragon
- With your bare hands?
- Yes!

With an amazing display of martial arts you kill the dragon

isaintify1

"Tiamat is 20 feet in front of you. Grab the nearest thing on your right for a weapon."

I have a cup of water! I shall douse tiamat's flames with it! After that I may just toss the cup at her.

malakut

I'd grab my Katana, skip up her back while singing "Look at my horse, my horse is amazing..." then jab the katana through her ears to make sure it's the last thing she hears. (I also have a bow, but I like my katana better.)

ironzerg79

Well, I have my dachshund named Max sitting next to me this morning...



...so I guess I do what every good hero does when the chips are down and the situation is dire...I grab my wiener and charge!

angelusrhori

I challenge her to a pillow fight. Because I am currently in bed and the only thing to my right are pillows. I'm a pillow fight champion though, I think I can take her.

aettthorn

The closest thing on my right (that isn't my computer) is a stack of old unburnt CDs from the days where I actually used to burn CDs with stuff.

As such, I set several up to act like mirrors that will blind Tiamat's many eyes and maybe give us a nice light show that will distract him. Then I'll make a shield out of some that I hope will act like a Shield of Reflecting. With whatever I have left over, I use them like frisbees and just chuck them into Tiamat in the hope that they do some damage.

silverkelt

Strum.. I know you meant this to be a fun event, but frankly right now, your company has a massive amount of take it on the chin to overcome this morning.

Get the fix on this suspension thing.. ASAP.

its way more important then this fun and frivolity.

dwarfdurin

"Tiamat is 20 feet in front of you. Grab the nearest thing on your right for a weapon. What is it and how will you use it?"

Its a machete! Because Machete Kills! Best to use for chopping off giant dragon heads:)

urabask

I don't need a weapon, I can just give Tiamat the flu I caught because certain co-workers can't be bothered to call out sick : |

narjima

Somehow I knew that spending the Christmas holidays at home would be stressful. But I didn't expect this! I just finished wrapping a large box of swiss chocolate pralinès for my in-laws to-be when suddenly ROOOOAR Tiamat appeares right behind my desk. After a short moment of shock I hear a faint voice calling "She's weakened, strike now!" and instinct takes over. Quickly I rip the paper from the box of chocolate. Of course there is a plastic foil around it and while i still struggle to get that stupid thing off, Tiamat unleashes her fiery breath. I am barely able to get the chocolate out of harms way and yell "This is not fondue!" at the dragon. Her short heasitation upon my words is all I need to finally open the box. In this moment I know I have won the fight. No one, not even a 5-headed dragon can resist swiss chocolate! With all my strength I throw the first piece at her and she catches, swallows, and you see the fire slowly calming down. I throw the next piece, the next, and after half the box I tell her "Sit!". Obediently, she sits down and waits for more. I give her more and then, when the box is nearly empty and I already start to think that dragons might be immune to the effect.... sugar shock! Tiamat is defeated. Now I just need to find a new present for my in-laws...

mstrssihr

I look immediately to my right!! --All I see it is a roller-skate wearing baby jesus figurine dressed in star spangled hot pants! ((WTH??!)) I snatch up the figurine, give a close up look and chant to it to "kick some HAMSTER!!", then give it a hurling roll towards White! One by one, like greased lighting, baby jesus in his hot pants skated them into oblivion! XD

npstalon

The killer rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Tiamat alone would taunt it into action. I wouldn't need to throw it because as we all saw it can fly!

mrgiggles651

A bottle of water. That should put out the red head's fire!

strumslinger

silverkelt said:

Strum.. I know you meant this to be a fun event, but frankly right now, your company has a massive amount of take it on the chin to overcome this morning.

Get the fix on this suspension thing.. ASAP.

its way more important then this fun and frivolity.

We've taken care of the issue.

This thread was created way before everything went down though, so I was in no way trying to have fun during the whole situation. If it came across that way, I apologize. In fact, I need to delay the winners by an hour or two due to us needing to handle the Starlight Parcel issue.

klzfc

I grab my backup keyboard and hand it to Tiamat and show her how to create a new account and character to play until she has to fight herself in the game.

tantrumusmaximus

For something like Tiamat you need something extra potent and "Over the Top!" which causes me to immediately reach to my Runic Cage of Holding and pull out my companion "Kilo the Flying Beast of Terror" and hail the beast into whichever maw eats her... as Kilo tears apart Tiamat from the inside I look on in horror of the sight before me. Never in all my years have I heard such thunderous howls of death and defeat.

kolatmaster

strumslinger said:

In fact, I need to delay the winners by an hour or two due to us needing to handle the Starlight Parcel issue.

It's cool Andy take your time with it, focus on the issue at hand.

I can wait to get my Mercenary...

beckylunatic

zebular said:

beckylunatic said:

zebular said:

I grab my kitten, Gandalf the Grey, and scream "Thou Shall Not Pass!" then throw him at Tiamat and run like hell.

Ahh, that's terrible. Poor kitteh.

It's okay, he'll come back more wiser, with sharper claws and teeth and more powerful than ever as Gandalf the White.

....

Well-played.

strumslinger

Drawing winners now!