I developed my most recent character with a strong theme, but have left her backstory undecided; as I'm getting more into roleplaying now, I need to work out some of the details of her origin in a natural way. She's also sort of an antithesis of the typical "catgirl", being stoic and ruthless rather than "cutesy".
In some folklore, cats are the guardians of the Underworld, and are more attuned with the rythym of the spirit world. My character is a Deathspeaker; she "feels" the presence of the spirits of the dead, mostly those who have met violent ends. They compel her to seek out and avenge their demise, sometimes to the point of driving her to near-insanity. It is not heroism that drives her, but a way to make the voices stop...if only for a little while.
Attitude:
Shy and timid until pushed into action, at which point she is capable of killing with little hesitation or regret. She is not cold or malicious, but not being human or raised with human values affords her a certain predatory outlook.
Powers: Munitions: Being small and slight of form, she wields two high-powered pistols with great effectiveness thanks to her natural agility and senses. She does not wield heavier weapons. (she had a sword in CoX, but I switched her to pistols as melee is dangerous for her) Darkness/Supernatural: Her deathspeaker gifts allow her to tap into the powers of the realm beyond, drawing on powers from the underworld to bolster her defenses or cripple her enemies. Travel: (Teleport) She is able to step briefly in the veil between this world and the next, though she is often hesitant to do so as she sees the vengeful dead on the other side of the veil.
Notes:
- "Deathspeaker" is a title. She is not the only deathspeaker, though the others are typically human.
- She was given the name "Gwendolyn" for her pure-white fur.
- She is a bipedal cat; she is not a human with catlike features, and she is not a hybrid. I am undecided on if she was a normal cat at one point, a unique race, or was artificially created.
- Deathspeakers of a certain power can be used to open a tear the veil between this world and the Underworld; they are typically feared or desired for this potential.
- She is not dead herself; this would be too similar to the Crow. She is a living being.
Any ideas or directions you might have that I can take her in? I'm looking for a backstory that can work against some of the clich
In some folklore, cats are the guardians of the Underworld, and are more attuned with the rythym of the spirit world. My character is a Deathspeaker; she "feels" the presence of the spirits of the dead, mostly those who have met violent ends. They compel her to seek out and avenge their demise, sometimes to the point of driving her to near-insanity. It is not heroism that drives her, but a way to make the voices stop...if only for a little while.
So in a Way she's a Vengance Sprit/Entity? If so there are a Couple of things that can be Done for her Backstory that'll help. I Believe the Egyptians are the Ones that Count Cat's as "The Guardians of the Dead" and if that's what you want too go with i would Recomend that you make her a "Bast" or "Baset" Supernatural Cat's that have the Ability too Shapeshift into a Human form (although its Possible too have her be an Unaccomplished Shapeshifter that can only assume a Half/Half form).
Attitude:
Shy and timid until pushed into action, at which point she is capable of killing with little hesitation or regret. She is not cold or malicious, but not being human or raised with human values affords her a certain predatory outlook.
Sort of a Combination of A House Cat and a Big Cat?
Powers: Munitions: Being small and slight of form, she wields two high-powered pistols with great effectiveness thanks to her natural agility and senses. She does not wield heavier weapons. (she had a sword in CoX, but I switched her to pistols as melee is dangerous for her) Darkness/Supernatural: Her unnatural creation allows her to tap into the powers of the realm beyond, drawing on powers from the underworld to bolster her defenses or cripple her enemies. Travel: (Teleport) She is able to step briefly in the veil between this world and the next, though she is often hesitant to do so as she sees the vengeful dead on the other side of the veil.
The only Bit i'd be Hesitant about Useing the "Bast/Baset" as too what she is is that they are Natural Housecats that have Supernatural Powers, Usually those of Healing. That Said its within Reason too have a Slightly Darker Occasional one that's Stuck as a "Hunter" or a "Avenger"
Notes:
- "Deathspeaker" is a title. She is not the only deathspeaker, though the others are typically human.
- She was given the name "Gwendolyn" for her pure-white fur.
- She is a bipedal cat; she is not a human with catlike features, and she is not a hybrid. I am undecided on if she was a normal cat at one point, a unique race, or was artificially created.
- Deathspeakers of a certain power can be used to open a tear the veil between this world and the Underworld; they are typically feared or desired for this potential.
- She is not dead herself; this would be too similar to the Crow. She is a living being.
The Comment on her Being Similar too the Crow if she's Dead is Frankly Wrong.... The Crow is what i'd Coin a Revenant, A Dead Person Who has Too much Anger/Hate left in them when they die that they cause a Ripple.. that Ripple is something Some Entities will use too let them back into the World of the living too be there Agents in Revenge and the like.
What i can see is that she Might be a Bast (dependant on if that's what you want or not), that had a Brush with a Deathspeaker and Learned some of there ways Eventually Finding that there powers Interfere with her own, Trapping her as a Half and Half, All Cat but Humanoid. Being Partly Spritial herself (Bast When they Die Reincarnate as another Cat, Leading too the Nine-Lives of a Cat story) she is much more Succseptable too the Whispers of the Dead/Sprits etc...
Are people still helping with backstory ideas and such? If so, take a gander at my rough idea and help me flesh it out some, or maybe work out some galring errors or whatnot.
Doc Dregware:
Made from scrounged parts left outside of Snake Gulch. "He awakened" as merely a robot cowby's head and had free thought (he doesn't understand that other robots do not have free thought. as he was in the junkpile, he witnessed Viper "brainwashing" other cowboys.
Over time Doc Dregware discovered the ability to control tech and junk with his mind and slowly cobbled together the body he has now. He escaped the Gulch as Viper chased him around when they saw him. He somehow stores his devices and guns, parts, etc etc in folded space and summons them to him when he needs them. Iactually it is from the dark dimension that he sends and summons from.)
He was named by a Viper 5 man cadre that found him trying to fix up old robot cowboys and others from the "Dregs" of the junk piles and random garbage and trinkets.
*unknown to the Doc, is that he isn't just a robot. His carapace absorbed an entity from the dark dimension (Champions lore of where all dark powers come from etc.) The entity/spirit had been summoned by DEMON (the champions mystical equivalent of Viper) to be usedin a horrible ritual. the entity/spirit was not the one intended and, in fact not even evil. The entity/spirit escaped and tried to hide itself in a robot body (last place the mystics would look for a spirit), but melded with the body as it was destroyed by heroes. The entity is in control, but its memory is suppressed and personality / habits have merged with the robot programming.
Doc like to make robot friends and toys, and unwittingly imbues them with small dark dimension entities that are of the "not evil" variety and he may have been connected to in the past.
His main powers now are gadgets and munitions to fit the robo cowboy theme. He has science inventions as a skill to make up for his "weird science". he also is cherry picking some from the supernatural/magic/darkness trees.
I know it is a big 'ole mess. But if you can make sense of it, gimme some feedback/help please.
If I could settle down on a particular hero, rather than bounce between ideas, I might need some help forming the backstory. I have ideas, but since I live and thrive in chaos both in work and personal life, it may take some prodding to get them out.
Just passing out a "Thank You" to Rick, for being awesome, and helping the community out, when i've been way too busy making alts and working in (GADSPAR!) the real world!
Also, now that the Private messaging seems to be working again, everyone feel free to message me in game, if you want some advice
I developed my most recent character with a strong theme, but have left her backstory undecided; as I'm getting more into roleplaying now, I need to work out some of the details of her origin in a natural way. She's also sort of an antithesis of the typical "catgirl", being stoic and ruthless rather than "cutesy".
In some folklore, cats are the guardians of the Underworld, and are more attuned with the rythym of the spirit world. My character is a Deathspeaker; she "feels" the presence of the spirits of the dead, mostly those who have met violent ends. They compel her to seek out and avenge their demise, sometimes to the point of driving her to near-insanity. It is not heroism that drives her, but a way to make the voices stop...if only for a little while.
Attitude:
Shy and timid until pushed into action, at which point she is capable of killing with little hesitation or regret. She is not cold or malicious, but not being human or raised with human values affords her a certain predatory outlook.
Powers: Munitions: Being small and slight of form, she wields two high-powered pistols with great effectiveness thanks to her natural agility and senses. She does not wield heavier weapons. (she had a sword in CoX, but I switched her to pistols as melee is dangerous for her) Darkness/Supernatural: Her deathspeaker gifts allow her to tap into the powers of the realm beyond, drawing on powers from the underworld to bolster her defenses or cripple her enemies. Travel: (Teleport) She is able to step briefly in the veil between this world and the next, though she is often hesitant to do so as she sees the vengeful dead on the other side of the veil.
Notes:
- "Deathspeaker" is a title. She is not the only deathspeaker, though the others are typically human.
- She was given the name "Gwendolyn" for her pure-white fur.
- She is a bipedal cat; she is not a human with catlike features, and she is not a hybrid. I am undecided on if she was a normal cat at one point, a unique race, or was artificially created.
- Deathspeakers of a certain power can be used to open a tear the veil between this world and the Underworld; they are typically feared or desired for this potential.
- She is not dead herself; this would be too similar to the Crow. She is a living being.
Any ideas or directions you might have that I can take her in? I'm looking for a backstory that can work against some of the clich
Rather than give a biography, I tried writing up a very short story that encapsulates Wolf Druid's background. Many comic book heroes have a single or a few major points in there life that contribute towards becoming a hero (i.e. Bruce Wayne saw his parents shot). This short story is kinda like that. I tried to imply background information into the story without breaking the flow of the story too much. I'd appreciate any feedback on both the content and the style.
The Last Daughter of the Wolf Tribe
Arwyn gazed through the night and into the fires of the burning house. Above the sounds of the roaring flames and the near-maniacal laughter of Dracnexilli, she thought she could hear the cries for help of the woman trapped in the building and her young daughter. Tears welled in her eyes as her thoughts drifted to the past...
She was staring in shock as the village of the Wolf Tribe was set aflame with its people in it. The Wolf Tribe was one group of beastmen who lived in the Hidden Woods, a forest magically hidden from mankind. The tribes were content to live apart from the world at large, but the encroachment of civilizations and their cities eventually found the Hidden Woods in recent years. As their trees were cut down, the Dragon Witches, the most powerful of the beastmen tribes, called for an open war. The witches attacked the humans and even went as far as attacking the closest cities.
Arwyn knew it was that aggression that led the massacre of her people. Mankind reacted to the attack by hiring superpowered mercenaries to strike back at the witches and the other beastmen tribes. The Wolf Tribe, though uninvolved with the attacks, was caught in the crossfire.
Arwyn was on a pilgrimage to finish her initiation as a priestess of her tribe when the attack happened. Did the spirits foresee this and time her initiation to save her? If they did, she thought it must have been some sort of cruel punishment for now her family and home was burning right before her eyes. She was now a priestess of a dead people.
"Do you want revenge?" asked a voice behind her. Arwyn spun around and came face to face with a tall woman with leathery wings and a sinewy tail. A Dragon Witch, she realized. "I am Dracnexilli, and I am also the last survivor of my tribe. Come with me. The Wolf Tribe was... is known for their hunting skills. Help me find the humans who did this. Retribution will soothe the pain you feel."
One by one, Arwyn tracked down the mercenaries across the country, and one by one Dracnexilli brought revenge by destroying their own homes and slaying their families. But with each hunted quarry, the empty feeling in Arwyn's heart only twisted tighter. She had lost her family, and though she wanted justice to be done, watching other families slain only reminded her of the pain she felt at her own loss. Finally, they found their last target living in Millennium City and were now watching his home burn down.
Her eyes were stinging from tears and hot ash now. The fires in front of her were the same ones that burned the Wolf Tribe, and the cries for help were the same ones from her forest home.
"Enough," the wolf girl whispered. She let out a long and mournful howl to the sky and thunder answered her call. She called upon her skills as the Wolf Tribe's priestess and summoned a snow storm to snuff out the fires.
"What are you doing!?" shrieked Draco Witch. "We are at the finality of our revenge and now you're stopping it!"
"Enough of this, Nexilli. That family in there is as innocent as my family was. If my tribe did not deserve to die, than neither does that one." Arwyn's eyes were still moist with tears, but determination flowed freely out of them.
"You would betray me? ME! Dracnexilli of the Dragon Witches! Then you deserve their fate!" The witch threw a searing fireball, and the two began a battle of storm and fire. The witch ultimately withdrew from the battle before a decisive victor could emerge. Arwyn rushed to the house and found the woman and her daughter safe.
"Thank you saving us," said the woman. "Honey, you say thank you, too," she told the little girl in her arms.
"Thank you, Miss," the girl said shyly. She was hardly older than five winters. She reminded Arwyn so much of her younger sister...
Arwyn smiled and that empty ache she felt in her heart felt more profound. And yet, at the same time, it felt lighter like dawn after a cold night.
The wolf girl looked back towards the towering buildings of Millennium City. It was time she looked for a new tribe and a new forest to live in.
Wolf Druid
Wolf's tail, clawed feet, animal ears, beastial stance, tribal garments, animal tattooes.
Ice and lightning powers, and Circle of Primal Summoning to represent her connection to the natural world as a priestess/druid.
Teleport for travel power. I imagine it as more of a "spirit-walking" rather than teleport.
Does the story flow well? Is there any confusion about what any of the characters are? Are their motivations clear?
Hey guys. Thanks for having this topic up and all the help you're giving people. Pretty interesting stuff coming out of the woodwork here. Anyway, I was wondering if you could help me flesh out a few things that keep rattling around in my head for my hero, but I can't quite piece it together without sounding too cliche.
More importantly, I want to figure out how to make her personality a little more consistent by laying a slightly stronger foundation of her character. Right now, when I try her out, she seems to blather way too much, switching rapidly between a snarky tomboy and an annoying geek.
In a city where the elite and the superhuman accomplish great and notable deeds in the name of justice and a sense of service, only a select few would have the true grit and bravery to ask for money while doing it. Enter Razorgirl Jane: a crass, young woman whose fearlessness and capability are matched only by her lack of social grace. From busting gangs to thwarting supervillains, she'll do any job no matter how dirty, impossible, or life-threatening it may be - and all for a reasonable rate!
Meta Abilities
Razorgirl Jane's powers are magical in nature, fueled by an innate ability to tap into the vast magical aether that floats freely in the world. With it, she is able to enhance her own physical abilities and reaction time to superhuman levels. With some effort, Jane can create crude, but effective magical effects and even conjure weapons or barriers made of pure mystic energy.
In game, I use a combination of Single Blade, Telekinesis, and Arcane abilities. I plan to keep her mostly melee with some exceptions, keeping as close to a martial focus as I can. Razorgirl Jane's magic, like her fighting style, is a combination of trial and error and innate talent, so she won't have much in the way of finesse, like more formally trained magicians.
Background Notes
- Jane was born in a city in Rhode Island (Razorgirl Jane was originally a CoX character, so I wanted to do a little tribute to her origins, even if Paragon City isn't in the fluff).
- Jane's parents died natural/accidental deaths. I want to avoid making family tragedy her motivation.
- Jane used to run a gang called "Edge." Probably run of the mill ruffians who engaged in a lot of back alley politics and played a few pranks and some illegal stuff, but they never did anything BAD
- Gang grew, becoming more brazen and aggressive. Jane wary that group is becoming more blood-minded.
- Eventually, after gang started becoming real criminals, Jane's leadership role was usurped/she left. Busted some heads on the way out, finding out how much she liked knocking around low-life criminals and villains.
- Moved/fled to Millennium City to try to start a new life/escape from being hunted. Became a private specialist, aka hero for hire.
Personality Notes
- I want to avoid "tomboy" but Jane doesn't like very girly things
- Not a very serious person, and likes to joke about serious things, but I'm hoping to avoid total cliche.
- Friendly, but there's always an undertone of anger somewhere with her.
- Above all, Jane likes to live freely and without a tinge of regret. While she respects the hardships and dangers other heroes go through, she finds something dishonest about the pure idealism that motivates them.
- Jane is annoyed overly-serious people annoying, especially when they're, in her view, obnoxiously mopey and tragic.
So there's that. If you can help me tweak and refine this stuff, perfect! Also, maybe some character reference suggestions, male or female?
Does the story flow well? Is there any confusion about what any of the characters are? Are their motivations clear?
Overall, rather compelling back story and it's always good to see history retold in a more immersed narrative.
One thing I would critique on (and I could be wrong on this) is the pacing and flow of ideas in the story. For example, the first paragraph was supposed to tie into a flashback explaining Arwyn's origins, but I found the jump from present to past needs to be more intuitive:
Arwyn gazed through the night and into the fires of the burning house. Above the sounds of the roaring flames and the near-maniacal laughter of Dracnexilli, she thought she could hear the cries for help of the woman trapped in the building and her young daughter. Tears welled in her eyes as her thoughts drifted to the past...
She was staring in shock as the village of the Wolf Tribe was set aflame with its people in it.
The tie-in to the flashback is rather vague, and lends itself to the misinterpretation that it was Dracnexilli who burned down Arwyn's village. Rather, I'd try to tie the two together a little more, and add a succinct divide between the different scenes:
Unkind memories came home to roost in the wolf-woman's thoughts. Tears welled up in her eyes...
* * *
There were flames then; bright and orange, the flames that overtook Arwyn's village illuminated the forest for miles...
So that's one thing you could fix. Overall, I can see the narrative that you're crafting. Just see if you can fix up the pacing a bit, rather than jumping from crying to fighting and suddenly rescuing mother and daughter.
Overall, rather compelling back story and it's always good to see history retold in a more immersed narrative.
One thing I would critique on (and I could be wrong on this) is the pacing and flow of ideas in the story. For example, the first paragraph was supposed to tie into a flashback explaining Arwyn's origins, but I found the jump from present to past needs to be more intuitive:
The tie-in to the flashback is rather vague, and lends itself to the misinterpretation that it was Dracnexilli who burned down Arwyn's village. Rather, I'd try to tie the two together a little more, and add a succinct divide between the different scenes:
So that's one thing you could fix. Overall, I can see the narrative that you're crafting. Just see if you can fix up the pacing a bit, rather than jumping from crying to fighting and suddenly rescuing mother and daughter.
Thanks for the critique! It was exactly what I was looking for. I have trouble telling if the flow is smooth or not since I already know what I'm talking about. That makes it a little difficult to tell if other readers would get it or not.
Thanks for the critique! It was exactly what I was looking for. I have trouble telling if the flow is smooth or not since I already know what I'm talking about. That makes it a little difficult to tell if other readers would get it or not.
No problem! And yeah...it's easy enough that you could TELL what was going on in general terms, but stylistically it jumps about without really giving the scene any visual. It sort of went "They fight!" then suddenly "Arwyn wins and saves family!"
I have a general idea for a backstory. Just need help writing it. Here's all teh basic info if anyone will put this into a story: Name is Setth Kalapp Born in the upper north side of MC to a pair of affluent robotic/weapon engineers for Millenium Development Corporations. Their names were Welddon and Dawn Kalapp. He was always interested in their work. On his 18th birthday, he found out that all his life, they were making a power suit for a VIPER assassin/ The company had been smuggling items to VIPER because they thought it was a secret military organization. They gave the suit to him(folds into a belt) and were assassinated for it. Thank you to anyone who decides to flesh this out for me.
I have a general idea for a backstory. Just need help writing it. Here's all teh basic info if anyone will put this into a story: Name is Setth Kalapp Born in the upper north side of MC to a pair of affluent robotic/weapon engineers for Millenium Development Corporations. Their names were Welddon and Dawn Kalapp. He was always interested in their work. On his 18th birthday, he found out that all his life, they were making a power suit for a VIPER assassin/ The company had been smuggling items to VIPER because they thought it was a secret military organization. They gave the suit to him(folds into a belt) and were assassinated for it. Thank you to anyone who decides to flesh this out for me.
"I never really understood why my parents gave me this suit until now. Now this suit shall be their salvation and their avenger." was heard in the darkness of the room. Seth just stood over the bodies of his parents and cried for the last time. It hadn't been that long since all the chaos started, the last few days just seemed to merge into one chaotic nightmare. Growing up in an affluent neighborhood he had a good life, happy parents, lots of toys and friends. Never knowing or really caring about what his parents did, Seth wanted to be a hero like Defender and the Champions. But somehow that seemed like so long ago, that dream so far from being a reality. He held the very item in his hands that could give him all that and more, the very item that took everything he cared about away.
It all went wrong a few days ago when his parents told him the truth about thier jobs. They built a power suit for VIPER, and when they realize who their client was realized they couldn't let him have it. Seth had always known his parents were some kind of scientists but thought all that stuff was too boring. He had been on the football and track teams, he had decided to become a cop to help the hero's that he had loved, now he hears his parents tell him they made a super suit for the worst criminals on the planet. Merely days from enrolling in the police academy Seth doesn't want to listen to another word, grabs his pack and walks out the door. Only later that night did he find the belt in his bag, holding it up in the light he sees its technological and decides it couldn't hurt to just put it on. Instantly the suit seems to spring from the belt and in moments is covering his entire body. Heads up displays show his vital signs and the atmospheric reading for the local area. Simple eye movements and cross hairs form and track anywhere he looks, able to zoom in and identify the objects in his hotel room. A strange warning buzzer to his left catches his attention and as he turns his head a tiny microphone is highlighted by the suits systems, the suit senses his increased stress level and uses a small emp charge to disable the listening device. Just a moment later there is a knock at the door.
"Crap! How do I take this thing off?" as he mutters these very words the suits retracts back into the belt and he quickly grabs a large t-shirt and pulls it over so it covers the belt as he answers the door.
"Hello Mr. Kalapp, I believe you have something of ours." says a well dressed man that is standing in front of two much larger men wearing poorly fitting suits.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Seth says nervously
"Well I believe you do, but I don't think this is the place to discuss this. Would you please come with us. Your parents are waiting for you back home."
Instantly feeling very scared the belt responds and the suit is covering him once more. Pushing past the large men as if they weren't standing there he rushes down the hallway and out the front door, moving faster than he has ever ran before. The large men start to give chase but the other holds up a hand to stop them.
"We know where he's going. No need to draw attention to ourselves here." quickly activating his communicator "The target is on his way. Make sure his parents are secure."
Listening to the other end of the phone with a growing look of anger he suddenly screams back into the communicator.
"I don't care if they had hidden weapons!!! I ORDERED that they weren't to be harmed. Now prepare for the worst, the child is not going to cooperate now."
All this was just a few minutes ago, Seth's suit had picked up the communication and relayed it to him as he rushed home. Now he stands over his parents bodies with the belt in his hand knowing that VIPER waits outside for him to make his next move.
[Its not a complete story obviously but its a start. I'll try to finish it after I get off work, or feel free to use what you want from this part and have someone else finish it. Hope it helps you out.]
I am pretty much new to role-playing and I have never really written a back story before. I am working on one for a character I was hoping to role-play called "Millennium Man".
The story I have so far is below, I apologise for any poor grammar or spelling in advance and would appreciate any feedback. Also my knowledge of The Champions Universe isn't great just what I have picked up from playing Champions Online, The Website and the Wiki so I apologise if I have made any big errors in Lore.
1st Draft
Joseph Rogers sat amongst the still smouldering rubble of his home and workshop in downtown Detroit. The golden metal fragment he held in his hand glimmered as he wiped the dust from its surface with his thumb, the other side was blackened and scorched.
Joe cursed at the fragment as he slowly lifted his head to look at the ruined skyline of his beloved city. Alarms and sirens sounded close-by, there was rubble everywhere, fire and thick smoke plumed into an increasingly black sky.
As he gazed at what was left of his city Joe's heart sank further, he had failed her and all her citizens. He had failed all those innocents, all those he had sworn to defend with his life. When Detroit needed him most he hadnt been able to stop her destruction. He had answered the call like scores of others but for Joe this failure was personal. Detroit had been his to protect of course he would fight for her, and he should have done more.
But it was over almost as soon as it had begun the orbital cannon laid waste to both his enemy and his friends in one fleeting simultaneous moment. Then it ripped out his heart as it rained havoc and destruction throughout his beloved Detroit. Joe had only survived the initial blast due to his power armour and dumb luck.
He cursed his own survival, the guilt he felt was too painful and the shame of his failure immeasurable. He longed to have perished with his fellow heroes; he wished he had died that day too. Peering down once more at the fragment he had been squeezing so tightly in his hand Captain Detroit felt broken inside.
In the weeks and months that followed the death toll kept rising as some of the badly wounded succumbed to their injuries. Joe attended more funerals of his family, friends and colleagues than he ever thought possible. Six months after the battle of Detroit he had decided that his hero career was over. The Mayor and several big corporations had unveiled plans to build a new city over the ruins of his beloved Detroit. A city of the future! they said, Pah another lifeless monstrosity no doubt with no soul in her he spat as the plans were laid out on the evening news.
After the horrors of that day Joe already doubted his strength to continue as Captain Detroit and this news just blackened his mood further. They were not going to rebuild his beloved Detroit; they were going to bury her. His friends The Champions had told him not to make any hasty decisions; they said they would help him if he ever wanted to return and Dr Silverback loaned him a manufacturing replicator for his workshop. It was to help him rebuild his home and workshop and so he could help others too he said. But Joe knew it was also to try and entice him to construct new armour. And he certainly considered it for a while but after weeks of soul searching he felt his sprit was utterly broken. The guilt of such loss and the shame of such failure lay so heavy with him that Joe took the decision to hang up his cape. He finally got his wish to all intents and purposes it seemed Captain Detroit had perished in the Battle of Detroit after all.
Joe spent the months that followed trying to rebuild some of his old life; he took a grant offered from one of the big corporations to help rebuild his home and workshop. And he used the manufacturing replicator to help out what few friends he had left to do the same. The replicator could replicate any material into any shape as long as you had a sample for analysis. In mere moments it allowed Joe to replicate structural metal beams wooden doors and glass for windows items that would have taken weeks to acquire by any normal method given the demand. As the months passed slowly a new city began to emerge around him. It certainly wasn't Detroit but she wasn't as lifeless as he had imagined. Sure she was modern and sleek and fancy looking, but she seemed to have a soul too. Through the camaraderie of the survivors some of the gritty fight of Old Detroit seemed to live on and pass over into this new body.
Though he would never admit it, slowly she was growing on him. That said he could never take to the streets to defend her, all the fight had been taken out of him. Besides she wouldn't need him now that The Champions had set up their Headquarters in what people were now calling Millennium City.
He admired the courage of his friends The Champions and was in awe of their dogged resolve and persistence. Joe wondered how they ever found the strength to go on after the battle of Detroit. He for one was certain nothing could ever make him want to take to the streets again.
The city alarm sounded in the early hours, and it made Joe's blood run cold. He shot up in a sweat from his bunk in the workshop and ran to the window. Suddenly there was an explosion in the distance then another and another, NOT AGAIN please god, not again... he gasped.
He gazed out of the window and on the horizon he saw fire and there were strange lights in the sky. Just then he heard a familiar buzzing coming from his bedside drawer and his blood ran cold once more. He walked in what seemed like slow motion over to his bedside cabinet and stared for a moment in horror at the half open drawer. Vibrating, flashing and dancing around inside he saw his old communicator, he slammed the drawer shut and slumped next to his bunk.
I cannot, I will not go through this again he said, resolute in his mind. But the buzzing persisted and seemed to get louder and louder, in a flurry of emotion he yanked open the drawer grabbed the communicator and stared at it flashing in his hand, he was shaking.
As he opened the communicator he heard a recording of the voice of his friend Defender. "Calling all heroes the Champions need your assistance an alien threat is invading our beloved Millennium City." "Aliens" Joe muttered to himself almost in a whisper. Then the communicator crackled again "All heroes of past, present and even new recruits no matter your experience we need you, if you can join us please fight your way to Champions HQ where we will mount a counter attack. We would not ask you to carry this burden if the situation was not grave. Thank you and Good Luck to you all".
With that the transmission ended, almost abruptly, Joe hoped The Champions were ok. What now? The Champions were calling ALL heroes no matter how experienced; this must mean a serious threat indeed, perhaps even as terrible as that day. I can't go He said to himself; I have no armour I have no strength left to fight. What if I fail, what if I fail her... again.
At that moment another explosion went off, much closer this time, so close in fact that it shattered the windows in Joe's workshop and sprayed glass all over the place. Then a split second later another explosion, this one blew a hole in the wall and sent Joe and much of his machinery and tools flying. Some drums in the corner of his workshop containing old used oil burst and sprayed all over the walls, floor and ceiling.
As Joe slowly lifted his head from the floor the oil ran down the walls and dripped from the ceiling. In the haze and through his blurred vision the oil looked like thick black blood. "She is bleeding!" he whispered My beautiful city is bleeding once more. Slowly he forced himself up onto one knee "I cannot allow this to happen again" he said, more forthright this time.
Joe ran through the dust and debris to his locker at the opposite end of the workshop to where the bomb hit. It was dented and he had to use a screwdriver to force the door open. He rifled through the shelves, Where is it, where is it he ranted. Then from the back of a shelf, from the darkness it shimmered at him the golden metal fragment.
If he was going to help The Champions and Millennium City it was his only hope. Joe scooped up the golden fragment and ran over to the Manufacturing Replicator. It seemed to still be functional as he cleared the dust from the control panel. Joe punched in his pass key and quickly scrolled through the library of blueprints. He quickly located his improved power armour blueprint which he had worked on over the weeks that he pondered a return as Captain Detroit. It wasnt perfect and he had never replicated a test version so it was completely untried, but he had no time. He hoped the small golden metal fragment would compensate for any flaws in his design and give him the edge he desperately needed.
He activated the blueprint and the machine requested a sample to replicate the armour from, it was then that Joe slowly and carefully placed the fragment of Dr Destroyers helmet into the replicator and hit enter.
The machine whirred into action the lights in the workshop flickered as the machine drained power from the workshop supply. Within minutes the sequence was complete and a full set of gleaming power armour shone with a brilliant luminescence in the middle of the now dark workshop. The machine had killed the power supply to the shop but it had worked!
Joe reached out and ran his hand over the chest plate, it felt cold and smooth but it looked strong. He wasted no time in donning the power suit, it was far lighter than he had imagined. Ok Joe said to himself Its now or never as he readied himself to leave.
Joe stepped through the huge hole in his workshop wall and he was outside in the cool early morning air. He took a moment and gazed skyward then he kicked his heels together to ignite his rocket boots. There was a fizz and a spark but nothing happened! Dammit! Joe exclaimed This is not a good start, looks like I am on foot.
Joe ran as fast as he could muster along 112th street, litter, ash and dust swirled by him. He could see strange shapes high above him as he glanced up. The invaders ships reminded him of giant beetles silhouetted against the sky. As he rounded the corner onto the street housing the Champions HQ he stopped dead in his tracks. There were groups of weird insect like creatures swarming towards the Champions HQ some were less than 100 metres away from Joe.
His jaw gaped Some of them must be over 8 feet tall! he stammered. For a moment the fear got to him, he felt a tremble pass through his body, but then it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. I cannot turn back now said Joe, pushing himself forward I guess its time to test this new armour.
And with that Joe launched himself at the nearest group of insect beasts with his new Laser Sword in hand. He was quite graceful in combat for his tall frame, and he was deadly. The first two groups fell quickly he attacked from behind and had the element of surprise. However the next group saw him coming and in the middle of them was one of the really tall ones. He struck a heavy blow to one of the smaller ones it reeled back making a bloodcurdling clicking noise. This startled Joe enough for the big one to get in a thumping blow, Joe was thrown through the air and his Laser Sword was knocked from his hand landing a few metres away and sliding underneath a parked car.
Dammit! Joe looked down at the impact point but his armour wasnt even dented. He felt a little winded but other than that he was ok. He shook his head the big one was bearing down on him. Quickly Joe drew his sonic blaster and unloaded on the big ugly bug. The creature grasped at its own head and collapsed to the floor in what seemed like agony. As he got to his feet Joe saw the smaller insect creatures turn tail and run towards a much larger group. Reinforcements no doubt Joe thought to himself. Just then Joe heard a familiar and friendly voice coming from the direction of the Champions Building. HERO! HERO, come with me we must defend the cannon It was the unmistakable booming of Ironclad beckoning him from the steps of the Champions Building.
Joe powered up his concussion beams and cut a path through the swarm of insects all the way to Ironclad running as fast as he could. The creatures were flung left and right and it put them down just long enough for him to reach his comrade.
Hero thank you for coming join us in this Glorious Battle! We must defend the cannon while it is prepared boomed Ironclad. Ironclad its me, err... Captain Detroit. You look different my friend, but I am glad you are here, we could certainly use your prowess these Qularr are very aggressive.
Joe took position as directed and over the next 20 minutes he fought tooth and nail alongside his fellow heroes. Wave after wave of the Qularr, as he now knew them to be called, dropped from small ships. At times he thought he was done for then a blast would come over his shoulder or from his flank to aid him. Joe fought with all he could muster to defend her once more.
Finally a speaker near the cannon crackled to life and the words it uttered were salvation to all who opposed the Qularr invaders. Launch the Ironclad Defence!
As the cannon fired Joe watched the shell impact on the hull of the alien mother ship and within moments the rest of the Qularr were in full retreat, this time he hadnt failed her.
In the days that followed there was a ceremony held by the Major to honour the heroes who had answered the call and had fought so valiantly to protect Millennium City.
When it was Joes turn to meet the Mayor and Defender he approached the podium reluctantly but with pride. I dont believe I have had the pleasure said the Mayor softly. What do they call you hero? he asked. This is, I mean this was formally Captain Detroit, Mr Mayor announced Defender. I am so sorry said the mayor But I thought you had fallen at the Battle of Detroit? the Mayor said embarrassed.
That is ok Mr Mayor said Joe You are indeed right the spirit of Captain Detroit did perish that day along with his beloved city. It is time for me to let that old ghost go.
As you wish hero, then what name should we put on your medal? asked the Mayor.
Well this is a new city, she is fragile and an important symbol of defiance to all the evil in the world, I see that now said Joe.
And as long as she will have me, and as long as she needs me I will be her protector I will be her Millennium Man.
1st Draft
Thanks for reading.
I actually think the background story is good as it is. I really enjoyed it, and did not see any incorrect lore that i could recognize. Building a suit based upon Dr. Destroyers own technology is an amusing revenge.
I recently made a post on the fan base forums as a RP thread. The first post includes Celestial Comet's backstory. Can you take a look at it and see what you think? Pointers would be appreciated, as well as suggestions. The thread is named: A Comet Strikes
So how would I ask for help? I have three characters (But they all tie into one another) that I'd liked help fleshing out (Uhh... metaling out?). Do I post the bios here? PM? On Primus Database?
So I've typed up a rough back story for my new Ego Blade character, Just posting to see if I contradict any Champions lore and maybe some general input.
________________________________________
Edgar Cuthbert has been a very talented psychokinetic from a young age and for a long time, couldn't control his power. Whenever he would get angry or frustrated, his powers would manifest through objects being thrown around and hurting the people around him. By the age of 7, his parents couldn't handle it any more. They abandoned him in the middle Edinburgh, Scotland the day before his eighth birthday.
For the next 5 years of his life, he was forced to wander the streets of this city, alone. With nothing to occupy his time, he began training his powers, learning how to properly control them. By the age of ten, he could phase through materials and form small balls of energy in his palm. He continued to train these abnormal abilities of his day in day out, only stopping to sleep or eat.
During the winter of the twelfth year of his life, a priest of the Church of Scotland stumbled upon this young boy siting in an alleyway covered in snow, shivering. This holy man would be his savior from this life of squalor and loneliness, for he gave this boy a new life and a future. Edgar thought of this man as his father, for he was the first man to show him affection. Even so, Edgar concealed his powers, for fear of this man rejecting him just like his biological parents had. This fear never swayed him from honing his powers when night fell
Edgar was with this man every day, for he feared the loneliness he had previously experienced. Edgar was inspired by his charisma and love for all living. He followed in his footsteps and by the age of 25, he became a priest himself. No longer living with this priest, he bought an apartment a few miles south of the priest's house. They now thought of each other as equals and did holy work all throughout Scotland.
In the fall of his second year as a man of the cloth, the priest was called out to Glenrothes, a city on the eastern coast of Scotland. He was called there to perform an exorcism on a local possessed boy. Edgar went with him, in hopes of learning a little bit more in the ways of exorcising a person firsthand. The exorcism went smoothly at first - at least as smooth as an exorcism can go. When the demon had been expelled from the boy's body it went straight for the priest and knocked him into a wall, where he fell unconscious. Edgar stood over the priest's body, shook him, and asked if he was alright. The priest's eyes opened to a slit and noticed him there. He hopped up to his feet and grabbed Edgar by the throat. He was terrified. The very man that had brought him in and raised him as if he were one of his own was now trying to kill him. Tears were streaming down his now blue face and in his moment of desperation, he closed his eyes and thrust his hands forward toward the priest. He heard the sound of piercing flesh and felt the grip loosen around his neck. When he opened his eyes, he saw the priest clutching his chest with the only arm he had left, and in Edgar's hands were two blade-like figures composed entirely of energy.
Edgar stood there, petrified. The only person he ever held dear was standing right in front of him, bleeding profusely, all because of him. As the priest collapsed to the ground, he noticed the same demon flee his body. Edgar rushed over to the body and held the priest's head in his hand. He told him to go toward the light, for he would be with God soon. When his body finally went limp, Edgar left the house.
He never returned to the church that day, and he never would. He promised himself that this day marked a new life for him. He would travel the world and expunge the world of its evil by any means necessary. He harnessed the very ability that he had killed the priest with and used it to punish all that was bad in the world. Taking on the name Exorcist in memory of that fateful night, he began his journey in hopes of rectifying his wrongdoing.
Hey, this is my first try to make a proper backstory.
The idea is an Alien supersoldier with claw framework in mind.
Don't know much about the different species so would like some help with that. So I can make the right choice. The species has to be someone good at waging war and high development of technology.
He was a Dorvalen(or other alien species) supersoldier made to end a conflict with the Thorgons and he is the only one who survived a major battle. Since he couldn't find any from his unit. He thought of himself as releaved from his duty to the Perseid Empire.
After that he went into the Mercenary business. Doing al sorts of work: the Perseid empire's dirty work, smuggling, bodyguarding etc.
He got tired of the dirty business and headed out for a new adventure. On his journey through the galaxy he noticed large masses of Qularr ships headed for a Blue planet.
He decided to follow them at a safe distance. When they launched their attack he felt an urge to stop them.
He cloaked his ship and set the course for the mothership. He flew up to the side of the ships control center and activated his boarding hatch.
Then he slashed through the hull and fought his way to the controlroom.
Suddenly an explosion occured and he saw a Metalman(Ironclad) emerge from the rubble of the ship. He grabbed the first Qularr he saw and killed it instantly.
They quickly perceived that they were on the same side and started fighting towards the controlroom.
What might a Tanuki (japanese racoon dog) call itself? I'm working on a character thats loosely based on the idea behind sailor senshi: a group of girls empowered to fight evil (or Yamata no orochi in my version), and i was thinking that adding a sort of 'Luna'-ish type character, in the form of a talking Tanuki. But I just can't think of a name for this character. I'd like to avoid something extremely japanese, even though it might make sense.
This is a simple back-story I wrote for my main Eru Iluvatar any suggestion would be appreciated.
"Eru Iluvatar hails from another dimension where a
Prosperous and peaceful Utopian Empire reigns supreme. One
day while searching one of the many temples dedicated to
arcane learning he discovered a powerful orb hidden behind
one of the walls. As he leaned forward to touch it, it
started to glow with an immense light and before he could
pull himself away he was sucked inside and transported to
our dimension. Upon finding himself in The West side of
Millennium City he was shocked at the rampant crime and
poverty. Realizing his powers would be of great use on
earth he decided to stay and help bring mankind into an era
of peace."
Hello all, I'm a writer and I would like to offer my services in helping people work on their back stories. I'll be paying attention to this thread in case anyone cares for assistance. ^_^
Hello all, I'm a writer and I would like to offer my services in helping people work on their back stories. I'll be paying attention to this thread in case anyone cares for assistance. ^_^
Well if you would like you could look at the back-story I posted just above your post and give it some critique.:cool:
Well if you would like you could look at the back-story I posted just above your post and give it some critique.:cool:
Okay, don't mind the nitpicking, just trying to help.
"Eru Iluvatar hails from another dimension where a
Prosperous and peaceful Utopian Empire reigns supreme.
Is Utopian descriptive or the empire's name? If the former, decapitalize that. also, prosperous should be decapped as well.
Realizing his powers would be of great use on
earth he decided to stay and help bring mankind into an era
of peace.
In a utopia, his powers would be of no use. I would find a way to describe how and why he has the powers. For example, maybe he inherited them as an atavistic trait from a bygone time when warriors used those powers, but no one in ages had them.
It would also explain why he was in the temples. Researching how the powers worked in the old days would give him an excuse to be there as well as digging for old texts would give him the opportunity to be exposed to the orb.
Otherwise the story is very workable and definitely worth working into the backstory of your character. I'm interested in seeing a revised version and how that plays out.
What might a Tanuki (japanese racoon dog) call itself? I'm working on a character thats loosely based on the idea behind sailor senshi: a group of girls empowered to fight evil (or Yamata no orochi in my version), and i was thinking that adding a sort of 'Luna'-ish type character, in the form of a talking Tanuki. But I just can't think of a name for this character. I'd like to avoid something extremely japanese, even though it might make sense.
Any ideas?
Honestly? You'd call it whatever you wanted. When I was living in Japan back in the mid-90s (yay for living out in town, offbase!), one of the neighbors had a pet raccoon dog. They actually called it 'John'.
If you're looking for something a little more in tune with kaidan and legends, look up the story of Bunbuku Chagama. It's the story about a brave little tanuki, a hero in his own way. Most stories about tanuki in Japanese mythology tend to be unnamed characters, so this one stands out.
For me it's all in the name. A lot of people say all the good ones are taken but I disagree.
Adding a color can not only help firm up a name but can also help with the costume. I have a Force guy in armor called Black Emerald for instance. My first toon in CO was Silver Falcon.
Another thing to consider with two-word names is word length. One short (one syllable) and one long (more than one syllable) can work well. Nick Mannis is a good name for a secret identity. Red Justice and Diamond Jim are other examples.
A name can be descriptive (Giant Guy) or vague (Nebulous) and both have their advantages.
If the name includes an iconic possession (Fire Axe) then that possession should be fairly prominent to the character.
Hope this helps others having trouble with characters
My character is named Fortune. Hes a partially superpowered batman. IE: He has a fully functional utility belt, he has hardening skin (like hardened gold), the higher in level he became the more strength i had to give him, and i kept getting wrecked so i gave him invulnerability. ANYWAY the character is more or less batman with a gambling problem, and i kept trying to give him a rough background. Like a loser in vegas who won big. Uh when it came to his nemesis, in an attempt to not rip off batman i created an evil robot rival Craze. He is like a crazy scientist that became a robot and now hes a jerkface. Also with this character i won several costume contests which i considered incredibly lucky so if that ties into anything then w00t
I really need help with the story as i am not a creative writer. I have put in several calls to alan moore but i seem to always go straight to voicemail these days. (lol....)
I need help, I'm making an "Ultimate hunter" A person who is great with guns, but is feral, and acts like a wild beast. I've been thinking of making him a soldier who got lost in a jungle for years and learned the way of the wild or a mutant who decided to join the army. The problem is, I can't really elaborate on these ideas and make a good detailed history for my person.
I need help, I'm making an "Ultimate hunter" A person who is great with guns, but is feral, and acts like a wild beast. I've been thinking of making him a soldier who got lost in a jungle for years and learned the way of the wild or a mutant who decided to join the army. The problem is, I can't really elaborate on these ideas and make a good detailed history for my person.
Well, my immediate thought on reading this is, combine the two...
He was a soldier, a very good one; always seemed to get out of any jam... his ability to survive seemed almost inate, instinctive...
Then his transport plane crashed in the jungle leaving him the only survivor (perhaps he was injured, a brain injury?)... It was here, in this savage and primal environment, that his mutant albilities surfaced (perhaps his mutation could be the ability to adapt to and survive any environment...)
Come up with how he was found (and rehabilitated, if needed); maybe the local rebels have a legend of a killing machine that lives on a mountain side they avoid and a research team is sent... or perhaps another person (military?) crashes in the same area years later and your character discovers him and helps him to survive...
I really like how the outline you gave is open to a lot of avenues...
I was wondering if anyone could give a semi detailed mash up of the Viper Story and Lore. I've found some of the stuff, but really need more for my bio of Silver Serpent . Can't decide if I want him to be a former member or an unlucky test subject. Either way, I would very much appreciate it. Again, so people don't think I'm lazy, I've searched and found only little tidbits of info.
P.S. I know it might end up being a long post. So, if it isn't too much trouble could you PM it to me? Or just post it on the off chance someone else needs it.
I wouldn't mind getting some feedback on a random, more villainous backstory idea I had, if anyone cares to critique. I know it's probably cliche, but oh well, here's the little biography blurb I've got figured out.
A demonette unfettered, a dark shadow unchained, she bides her time in feigned acts of heroism, regaining the powers stolen from her whilst captive. Once, stars died in the shadow of her gaze. Once, kings wept at her feet, desperate to offer tribute. Once, nations crumbled at a gesture. She seeks to bring those days again, to regain what she lost, to become once more a Dark Queen. But until she can, all the world shall see is a little shadow, bound in gold and crimson, stealing the life out of those who would prey upon the innocent. After all, in a world where heroes and villains wage open war, the guilty are fair game...
I wouldn't mind getting some feedback on a random, more villainous backstory idea I had, if anyone cares to critique. I know it's probably cliche, but oh well, here's the little biography blurb I've got figured out.
A demonette unfettered, a dark shadow unchained, she bides her time in feigned acts of heroism, regaining the powers stolen from her whilst captive. Once, stars died in the shadow of her gaze. Once, kings wept at her feet, desperate to offer tribute. Once, nations crumbled at a gesture. She seeks to bring those days again, to regain what she lost, to become once more a Dark Queen. But until she can, all the world shall see is a little shadow, bound in gold and crimson, stealing the life out of those who would prey upon the innocent. After all, in a world where heroes and villains wage open war, the guilty are fair game...
Pretty good, actually. Oddly enough, I created a character that has gone the opposite direction. A sorcerer of great power, he was a would-be world conqueror who was imprisoned by a group of selfless wizards. His powers stripped, he spent 800 years encased in a crystal until he was accidentally released by superhumans fighting. With very little of his original magic ability left, he became a "street magician" of some acclaim. He used his magic to foil a robbery he stumbled upon in a back alley, and decided that the 'thrill' gave his life renewed purpose. Now he pursues magic to help people.
So, one of my more recently made characters goes by the name "Girl from the Swamp". I've been switching between multiple different biographies for her, but I can't decide which I like more. I'm hoping you guys will be able to help me.
Mary Buckley was the firstborn of a wealthy slaveholding family, born in 1854. Her families farmstead was just a few miles northwest of Vibora Bay. Her house was surrounded by damp swamp, some of which had been cleared away to make the fields that the slaves worked on. She never had to work, but only had to practice becoming what her mother considered a "proper Southern lady".
However, then the Civil War came and ended. Sadly, her family was forced to give up their slaves. This made our young Mary the new errand-girl for her family. It was on the eve of her 12th birthday that her mother asked her to go get some milk from Vibora Bay. The young girl got on a horse and rode off towards the city.
*Here's where it cuts off into two different pieces*
As she rode on a dark, secluded road, a group of former slaves ambushed her. They killed her, dumped her body into the swamp and rode off with her horse. The Swamp that she was killed in had multiple spirits of nature in it, one of which took her in. The one that took her in was the spirit of Pestilence. She was it's avatar, it's representation, for years. She was given the ability to drain life from something in a matter of seconds, and constantly had a cloud of greenish energy around her, which damaged her enemies.
However, eventually the spirit was confronted by heroes. Upon being defeated by the heroes, she was given a second chance. The part of good in her, which had never wanted to work with the Loa, said yes and followed the heroes to defeat her former master. They triumphed. However, eventually, her bad side, the side that had embraced death, returned. The good and bad side fought in her eternally 12-years-old body, and the bad side won, leaving around a bit of goodness. Since then she's wandered around Vibora Bay, killing what she deemed fit, to fill her sadistic, death-seeking side, going by the name, Girl from the Swamp.
*Other part*
As she rode on a dark, secluded road, her horse reared out of fright, and bolted off backwards. She fell off the horse, and was knocked out as her head hit the hard ground. Sadly, where she had been dumped off was slightly inclined to the near pool of fetid water. Slowly, she slid into the water and fell into it, facedown, where she drowned.
At this point, the natural magic ability of her body merged with the magic aura surrounding Booty Bay, albeit in a sick, twisted way. She was risen from death with her own will and with the powers of the swamp which had killed her. She could suck the energy of life away from others and come back from her own death, along with an immortality.
She returned home with the joyous news. Her family, upon receiving the frightened horse without a rider, had automatically feared the worse. However, the return of the water, even if her clothes were dampened, called for a joyous occasion. However, as she hugged her father, the man's dried husk fell out of her arms. She screamed. She seeked reassurance in her mother's apron, but her mother fell as well.
Startled at her body's new malevolence, she cried by their bodies, despite the new power that swelled through her body. Eventually, she followed the signal in her brain and returned to the swamp. She lurked there, draining any travelers, or any other living things she would come across. Her skin became, and came to maintain, a pure-white color, and her eye's pupils completely covered her whites, making her eyes a dark black shadow. Only recently, with the encroachment on her swamp, did she leave. She found more life sources to drain them she had ever imagined, and drifts endlessly between good and evil, on her own little island. She became officially known as the Girl from the Swamp.
Jean Goldhair was born in the midst of 5 children, the only girl out of all of them. Her father was one of the Sorcerers of the Trismegistus Council, and her mother was just a stay at home mom. She rarely saw her father, but, by the age of 5, she was already demonstrating magical potential. She was sent off to be trained, and trained well in her 7 year stay at the Council headquarters in Vibora Bay.
Her first solo assignment was one to disrupt a Loa calling ceremony in an abandoned warehouse. She charged in without a thought. However, the Sovereign sons were prepared. It turned out that she was their sacrifice. The Loa took her body and corrupted it, along with her soul. She escaped, but only by breaking free from the Loa's control and killing all the Sovereign Sons. However, the damage had been done. Her soul was now eternally cursed with the need to fill herself with the life energy of her opponents. It was her addiction.
Her body had also been changed. Her skin was deathly pale, her eyes replaced with black holes. She knew her family would not believe that this was her. They'd chase her off, possibly kill her in their rage. However, now she didn't need to sleep or eat. She could only survive of the energy. She emerged from the warehouse under a new name, one that would possibly be taken for the truth. She was the Girl from the Swamp.
More then anything, I would like to change my backstories so that they're more like PRIMUS/UNTIL official dossiers on the Champions rather then Novel Readings. This would be for the in-game bio, the idea being that other Champions are using PDAs to access PRIMUS/UNTIL databases to look up your Champion.
My thread where I present Novel Readings of my characters backstory.
I wouldn't mind getting some feedback on a random, more villainous backstory idea I had, if anyone cares to critique. I know it's probably cliche, but oh well, here's the little biography blurb I've got figured out.
A demonette unfettered, a dark shadow unchained, she bides her time in feigned acts of heroism, regaining the powers stolen from her whilst captive. Once, stars died in the shadow of her gaze. Once, kings wept at her feet, desperate to offer tribute. Once, nations crumbled at a gesture. She seeks to bring those days again, to regain what she lost, to become once more a Dark Queen. But until she can, all the world shall see is a little shadow, bound in gold and crimson, stealing the life out of those who would prey upon the innocent. After all, in a world where heroes and villains wage open war, the guilty are fair game...
Nice roleplaying potential, particularly if the character has difficulty masking her true personality and motivations from the heroes she interacts with. It could also be interesting if she experiences a gradual change of heart, finding she actually enjoys helping people and receiving gratitude rather than fear.
The Champions Universe has plenty of precedent for such a character, too. Its backstory includes a series of pre-historic civilizations when magic was in the ascendancy, with powerful gods who have since been forgotten, and diminished or "starved" to death from lack of worship. Your character could easily be one of those.
More then anything, I would like to change my backstories so that they're more like PRIMUS/UNTIL official dossiers on the Champions rather then Novel Readings. This would be for the in-game bio, the idea being that other Champions are using PDAs to access PRIMUS/UNTIL databases to look up your Champion.
My thread where I present Novel Readings of my characters backstory.
What do you guys think?
I believe we're in a very similar situation. My characters' bios tend to end up more like stories (to the point where I run out of room to write) instead of dossiers, which is what I intend them to be. I could also really use the help in getting them set up more like the official PRIMUS/UNTIL info.
EDIT: Wow, when I posted I didn't notice just how far back the last post was. Please tell me this thread's not dead.
Dr. Pascal Kaufmanns career started right after he got his university-entrance diploma back in Germany. Since he didnt get a university place, he threw himself on the job market with less than glorious results. This plunged him into a deep depression. His parents were both rich businesspeople and prepared him from his childhood for a life of success and greatness. It was unthinkable for them and through their constant reminding also for himself, that he could not be welcomed by everyone with open arms. One evening Pascal was just drowning his sorrows in a local bar a man came up to him and asked him what was wrong. Pascal told him about his hopeless situation. The man - who was in truth a recruiter for the newly opened branch of the Institute for Human Advancement in Europe - listened carefully and then offered Pascal a solution: Join the IHA! After all those damn mutants and superheroes were the reason Pascal would get no job! Pascal knew that was just propaganda, but he needed a job, so he accepted the mans offer. So he became one of the enforcers of the IHA. He quickly made it through the boot camp. His intelligence and his natural talent on the battlefield soon made it clear, that being an ordinary thug was no option for him. Pascal soon was placed in command of his own squad. Thats when things started to go down the drain. Pascal constantly argued with his superiors about how to conduct missions and to treat captured mutants. He simply didnt share their vision, so he left the IHA after a particularly loud argument (other people tell about a short, but passionate affair with the mutant heroine Gravitonia, which changed Kaufmanns view about the IHA and their goals).
He then tried his luck with ARGENT. They knew about his criminal past, so they didnt even pretend to employ him as a legal asset. They put him in charge of an ARGENT strike team and after he proved to be more than capable, they allowed him to study at one of the companies universities, where he got his doctorate in medicine and behavioral psychology. He then was sent back to his squad, but not as their leader, but as field medic. After the first battles against law enforcement, Dr. Kaufmann saw, that his medical skills could not only be used to heal, but also to harm. Shortly after that enlightening thought, Kaufmann left ARGENT. He found out by accident that they had been pulling fast ones on him from the beginning and manipulated his insurance rates. He left them and blew up a part of the local ARGENT building so they had something to remember him by.
Since he knew, that ARGENT would be looking for him, he went to Russia, where he got in contact with a recruiter of the Shadow Army of the Warlord. Because he needed someone to protect him from ARGENT, he joined the Shadow Army right there. He was stationed in Sibiria, where he again quickly rose in the ranks after several battles against the Russian government. He already discovered his talent for stealth operations and assassinations and he was really good at it. If everything would have went fine for a little longer, he may have had a place in the War Machine, but things went different. One night after celebrating another soldiers birthday Dr. Kaufmann was drunk as hell he decided he could borrow the racing motorcycle of his superior. Unfortunately, Dr. Kaufmann had absolutely no experience with motorcycles, so he ran it into the ground in the middle of the Russian taiga. His superior boiled with rage and tried to send him to a labor camp for disciplinary reasons, but Dr. Kaufmann killed the two soldiers, who were to escort him and bolted.
From then on, his trail blurs for a few years; there is a document with the tags Closed and Filing in the archive of a VIPER Nest in Monaco, which puts his execution for desertion on the record. One year later he appears as a mercenary for Executive Control Solutions. He caused quite a stir there with his daring and ruthless attitude and his skill on the battlefield. One time they were up against PSI. They had to defend some warehouse. He and his men were surrounded and their commander had been killed by an aneurysm one of the PSI members caused. Kaufmann seized the command and ordered his men to build a dummy psi-inhibitor out of scrap parts and destroyed equipment. Then he sounded the charge. The PSI mooks saw the inhibitor and retreated out of fear. Kaufmann was greatly praised by his superiors for quick thinking and effectiveness on the battlefield. Behind his back they plotted to kill him, because they had struck a deal with PSI to commit insurance fraud. They never finished their plan. Kaufmann bolted with the cash box of his unit. After enduring so much incompetence and backstabbing, Dr. Kaufmann decided, he would be his own master now, so he went into the criminal underground in Millenium City and started a mercenary business under several false names. He has worked as an investigator, hitman and sometimes even vigilante for hire ever since.
In combat, Dr. Kaufmann has only one rule: Winning, whatever the cost. Since he has no superpower at all, he gave up fighting fair long ago. He will take hostages, stab his enemies in the back (not literally, he hates blades), pervert his medical knowledge and generally use every dirty trick that gives him even the slightest advantage over his superhuman enemies. Once he had to execute a high-ranking VIPER member, who was known to use an experimental force field, which gave him total protection from bullets. Dr. Kaufmann, who refrained to endanger himself with close combat insisted on using his sniper rifle. He found out, that the girlfriend of his target served also in VIPER and even in the same squad. Kaufmann shot her with a remote-triggered high-explosive shell in the chest. When the VIPER commander rushed to his dying girlfriend, Kaufmann triggered the explosive and took him out; together with his squad. He uses top-notch equipment - either slavaged, stolen or bought from several less-than-reputable sources - like a high-tech sniper rifle, a high-voltage telescope shock baton, heavy-duty explosives and much more.
Oops. I made a thread for my dude's history... and I didn't know this was here. I'll just link it. If any mods wanna delete this thread, I'd ask that they use their internet forum magic to copy/paste it here.
You've got to be kidding me. I just hauled all these bricks down here for nothing?
Hah... yeah, that's something that get's lost in the translation. When Ghosthack posted this, it was her signature sign off to toss a brick (to account for many less than 10 char posts :P).
It doesn't mean quite the same thing, once it's "generic Perfect World User" :P
Ok, this is a concept that I've been turning over in my mind for a while, and now I've seen foreshadowing of the same concept in this thread. Let me bust this out for community comment. Essentially, this is an enemy file from ARGENT, for posting on the profile space of a superhero along with a link to 'the real story', possibly a thread in the Introduction forum. I'm still debating whether this should be from ARGENT's files or a friendly group like UNTIL, but for now I'm going with the enemy source. -
FROM THE FILES OF ARGENT, POTENTIAL ADVERSARY DATABASE
CODE NAME: Mammoth
LEGAL NAME: Unknown, subject has been called JJ in friendly communications; this diminutive might signify her real name.
EVIDENT GENDER: Female
EVIDENT AGE: Early to mid twenties
BACKGROUND: Unknown. Dark skin, African-American features, accent implies midwestern upbringing. Mammoth's true background has been obscured by PRIMUS.
KNOWN AFFILIATIONS: PRIMUS, Trismegistus Council
KNOWN ADVERSARIES: Ch-trak-chk (sp?)(exiled warrior from an alternate reality wherein insect life dominates the Earth; see attached file)
METAHUMAN ABILITIES: Mammoth exhibits superhuman strength, durability, endurance and neural responsiveness. She uses rocket-boots for fast travel which are apparently based on PRIMUS soldier exo-suit designs. SOURCE OF ABILITIES: Flight power appears to be mechanical, although Mammoth's rocket-boots seem to provide greater responsiveness than typical PRIMUS designs. Her other abilities are organic in origin; she is most probably a mutant.
EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS: Mammoth appears to be inured to insults, and is difficult to provoke. Telepathic scans reveal unusual sensitivity regarding family; if they can be identified and threatened Mammoth may prove pliant. Moreover, she seems sensitive to romantic options due to her super-strength; she might be open to seduction.
Just to clarify the versatility of this approach, here's another file for a different character -
CODE NAME: Skinner
LEGAL NAME: Anastazia Skinner, usually called Skinner or Taz. Identity obscure but not secret.
EVIDENT GENDER: Female
EVIDENT AGE: Late teens to early twenties (legal age - 19.)
BACKGROUND: Skinner is one of the few known female Irradiates. Serving as a scout for the early Irradiate incursions she inflicted significant damage and casualties before she was captured by an unknown super-powered squad and taken to the nascent Project Greenskin. Tests indicated that she was thirteen years old at the time of her capture.
She was the subject of early attempts at reversing Irradiate transformation, but these proved unavailing because of her innate mutations; apparently she was a mutant from birth, and her powers activated when she became an Irradiate, effectively adapting her to Irradiate biostructure permanently. Her original family remains entirely unknown; they are probably dead or Irradiates.
Despite her unusual appearance she has proven amenable to socialization. She is almost nonverbal, but understands normal speech and interacts productively with others. Due to her early influences, her skills are mostly combat-oriented. She has green skin, reddish-black hair, and Asian features. She makes no attempt to conceal her appearance, apparently on principle, thus she sometimes excites comment in mundane surroundings.
KNOWN AFFILIATIONS: PRIMUS, UNTIL, various individual superheroes.
KNOWN ENEMIES: VIPER, DEMON, Prince 'Pokalips (Irradiate supervillain who apparently followed Skinner to civilization, see attached file)
METAHUMAN ABILITIES: Superhuman speed, telekinetic ability to generate blade-like extrusions capable of great cutting damage as well as disrupting neural activity without injury, making her one of the few blade-wielding superhumans to have a 'stun setting'. Superhuman nightvision, possibly IR or UV sentitive. PRIMUS grade comm headset. SOURCE OF ABILITIES: Organic in origin, various sources of mutation, with some equipment provided by PRIMUS.
EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS: Various, difficult to predict. Almost all such triggers provoke lethal violence, but she is intelligent enough to direct that violence at the real source of the provocation, not just the obvious source. Provocation not recommended. Family and loved ones either dead or superhuman; threats not recommended.
Not sure if this is the right place or not, but I'd really appreciate some help bringing Silver Tip (my Man/Tiger archer) to life.
I'm thinking that he has some Siberian Tiger DNA, and he comes from Eastern Europe/Russia (or that he was originally Russian, and somehow got changed into his current form). He's had spec ops/covert ops training at one point, possibly Spetsnaz, and he uses a laser guided longbow.
Not sure if this is the right place or not, but I'd really appreciate some help bringing Silver Tip (my Man/Tiger archer) to life.
If what you're looking for is help fleshing out your character's background details and history, rather than his look or game-mechanical build, this is an eminently right place.
I'm thinking that he has some Siberian Tiger DNA, and he comes from Eastern Europe/Russia (or that he was originally Russian, and somehow got changed into his current form). He's had spec ops/covert ops training at one point, possibly Spetsnaz, and he uses a laser guided longbow.
I can think of a couple of elements from official Champions Universe lore that could work for such a character from that part of the world.
During the Cold War the Soviet Union built the "science city" of Larisagrad high in the Ural Mountains to conduct highly classified research, most notably Directorate Black-12, the Soviet program to create government super-soldiers. After the Soviet Union's collapse the scientist citizens of Larisagrad lost their generous state funding, so they decided to go freelance and sell their expertise to the highest bidder, regardless of motive or reputation. Governments, corporations, terrorist and conspiracy groups, and supervillains have all utilized Larisagrad's scientific services over the years.
Silver Tip could have been a product of the last stages of Directorate Black-12 if he's old enough; or if not, his creation could have since been contracted by a variety of parties, such as the modern government of Russia, the Russian mob, or prominent Russian villains like the former spymaster Molnya.
Particularly if Silver Tip has a noticeably feline appearance, he may be a beast-man/ manimal. Amidst a forest in Ukraine lies Gornyj Zver ("Beast Mountain"), the site of the original laboratory of the infamous Dr. Phillippe Moreau, who mutated animals to humanoid form and intelligence. After Moreau was defeated and captured by superheroes in 1985, most of the remaining beast-men chose to remain at their community on Beast Mountain. A few of them have chosen to explore the wider world for various reasons, but aside from a few superheroes and the local Ukrainians, the existence of Beast Mountain has remained secret.
Silver Tip might have been one of these beast-men who was curious about the outside world. He could have been captured by a regional government or criminal elements, perhaps even brainwashed to serve; or he could have sought them out on his own to offer his services.
Whichever origin you prefer, Silver Tip wouldn't necessarily have to have been under the government to receive quality military training. Many soldiers became disaffected with the treatment of the Russian army post-Soviet era, and took up other employment.
I hope that was helpful. If you'd like any more information about any of the above, feel free to post a followup.
Comments
Yeah I need to find some free time and work it out, super busy lol.
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y264/kirin_fenrir/screenshot_2009-09-01-21-15-17-1.jpg
In some folklore, cats are the guardians of the Underworld, and are more attuned with the rythym of the spirit world. My character is a Deathspeaker; she "feels" the presence of the spirits of the dead, mostly those who have met violent ends. They compel her to seek out and avenge their demise, sometimes to the point of driving her to near-insanity. It is not heroism that drives her, but a way to make the voices stop...if only for a little while.
Attitude:
Shy and timid until pushed into action, at which point she is capable of killing with little hesitation or regret. She is not cold or malicious, but not being human or raised with human values affords her a certain predatory outlook.
Powers:
Munitions: Being small and slight of form, she wields two high-powered pistols with great effectiveness thanks to her natural agility and senses. She does not wield heavier weapons. (she had a sword in CoX, but I switched her to pistols as melee is dangerous for her)
Darkness/Supernatural: Her deathspeaker gifts allow her to tap into the powers of the realm beyond, drawing on powers from the underworld to bolster her defenses or cripple her enemies.
Travel: (Teleport) She is able to step briefly in the veil between this world and the next, though she is often hesitant to do so as she sees the vengeful dead on the other side of the veil.
Notes:
- "Deathspeaker" is a title. She is not the only deathspeaker, though the others are typically human.
- She was given the name "Gwendolyn" for her pure-white fur.
- She is a bipedal cat; she is not a human with catlike features, and she is not a hybrid. I am undecided on if she was a normal cat at one point, a unique race, or was artificially created.
- Deathspeakers of a certain power can be used to open a tear the veil between this world and the Underworld; they are typically feared or desired for this potential.
- She is not dead herself; this would be too similar to the Crow. She is a living being.
Any ideas or directions you might have that I can take her in? I'm looking for a backstory that can work against some of the clich
So in a Way she's a Vengance Sprit/Entity? If so there are a Couple of things that can be Done for her Backstory that'll help. I Believe the Egyptians are the Ones that Count Cat's as "The Guardians of the Dead" and if that's what you want too go with i would Recomend that you make her a "Bast" or "Baset" Supernatural Cat's that have the Ability too Shapeshift into a Human form (although its Possible too have her be an Unaccomplished Shapeshifter that can only assume a Half/Half form).
Sort of a Combination of A House Cat and a Big Cat?
The only Bit i'd be Hesitant about Useing the "Bast/Baset" as too what she is is that they are Natural Housecats that have Supernatural Powers, Usually those of Healing. That Said its within Reason too have a Slightly Darker Occasional one that's Stuck as a "Hunter" or a "Avenger"
The Comment on her Being Similar too the Crow if she's Dead is Frankly Wrong.... The Crow is what i'd Coin a Revenant, A Dead Person Who has Too much Anger/Hate left in them when they die that they cause a Ripple.. that Ripple is something Some Entities will use too let them back into the World of the living too be there Agents in Revenge and the like.
What i can see is that she Might be a Bast (dependant on if that's what you want or not), that had a Brush with a Deathspeaker and Learned some of there ways Eventually Finding that there powers Interfere with her own, Trapping her as a Half and Half, All Cat but Humanoid. Being Partly Spritial herself (Bast When they Die Reincarnate as another Cat, Leading too the Nine-Lives of a Cat story) she is much more Succseptable too the Whispers of the Dead/Sprits etc...
If i'm off Ok, but it's an Idea for you?
Are people still helping with backstory ideas and such? If so, take a gander at my rough idea and help me flesh it out some, or maybe work out some galring errors or whatnot.
Doc Dregware:
Made from scrounged parts left outside of Snake Gulch. "He awakened" as merely a robot cowby's head and had free thought (he doesn't understand that other robots do not have free thought. as he was in the junkpile, he witnessed Viper "brainwashing" other cowboys.
Over time Doc Dregware discovered the ability to control tech and junk with his mind and slowly cobbled together the body he has now. He escaped the Gulch as Viper chased him around when they saw him. He somehow stores his devices and guns, parts, etc etc in folded space and summons them to him when he needs them. Iactually it is from the dark dimension that he sends and summons from.)
He was named by a Viper 5 man cadre that found him trying to fix up old robot cowboys and others from the "Dregs" of the junk piles and random garbage and trinkets.
*unknown to the Doc, is that he isn't just a robot. His carapace absorbed an entity from the dark dimension (Champions lore of where all dark powers come from etc.) The entity/spirit had been summoned by DEMON (the champions mystical equivalent of Viper) to be usedin a horrible ritual. the entity/spirit was not the one intended and, in fact not even evil. The entity/spirit escaped and tried to hide itself in a robot body (last place the mystics would look for a spirit), but melded with the body as it was destroyed by heroes. The entity is in control, but its memory is suppressed and personality / habits have merged with the robot programming.
Doc like to make robot friends and toys, and unwittingly imbues them with small dark dimension entities that are of the "not evil" variety and he may have been connected to in the past.
His main powers now are gadgets and munitions to fit the robo cowboy theme. He has science inventions as a skill to make up for his "weird science". he also is cherry picking some from the supernatural/magic/darkness trees.
I know it is a big 'ole mess. But if you can make sense of it, gimme some feedback/help please.
Also, now that the Private messaging seems to be working again, everyone feel free to message me in game, if you want some advice
The Last Daughter of the Wolf Tribe
Arwyn gazed through the night and into the fires of the burning house. Above the sounds of the roaring flames and the near-maniacal laughter of Dracnexilli, she thought she could hear the cries for help of the woman trapped in the building and her young daughter. Tears welled in her eyes as her thoughts drifted to the past...
She was staring in shock as the village of the Wolf Tribe was set aflame with its people in it. The Wolf Tribe was one group of beastmen who lived in the Hidden Woods, a forest magically hidden from mankind. The tribes were content to live apart from the world at large, but the encroachment of civilizations and their cities eventually found the Hidden Woods in recent years. As their trees were cut down, the Dragon Witches, the most powerful of the beastmen tribes, called for an open war. The witches attacked the humans and even went as far as attacking the closest cities.
Arwyn knew it was that aggression that led the massacre of her people. Mankind reacted to the attack by hiring superpowered mercenaries to strike back at the witches and the other beastmen tribes. The Wolf Tribe, though uninvolved with the attacks, was caught in the crossfire.
Arwyn was on a pilgrimage to finish her initiation as a priestess of her tribe when the attack happened. Did the spirits foresee this and time her initiation to save her? If they did, she thought it must have been some sort of cruel punishment for now her family and home was burning right before her eyes. She was now a priestess of a dead people.
"Do you want revenge?" asked a voice behind her. Arwyn spun around and came face to face with a tall woman with leathery wings and a sinewy tail. A Dragon Witch, she realized. "I am Dracnexilli, and I am also the last survivor of my tribe. Come with me. The Wolf Tribe was... is known for their hunting skills. Help me find the humans who did this. Retribution will soothe the pain you feel."
One by one, Arwyn tracked down the mercenaries across the country, and one by one Dracnexilli brought revenge by destroying their own homes and slaying their families. But with each hunted quarry, the empty feeling in Arwyn's heart only twisted tighter. She had lost her family, and though she wanted justice to be done, watching other families slain only reminded her of the pain she felt at her own loss. Finally, they found their last target living in Millennium City and were now watching his home burn down.
Her eyes were stinging from tears and hot ash now. The fires in front of her were the same ones that burned the Wolf Tribe, and the cries for help were the same ones from her forest home.
"Enough," the wolf girl whispered. She let out a long and mournful howl to the sky and thunder answered her call. She called upon her skills as the Wolf Tribe's priestess and summoned a snow storm to snuff out the fires.
"What are you doing!?" shrieked Draco Witch. "We are at the finality of our revenge and now you're stopping it!"
"Enough of this, Nexilli. That family in there is as innocent as my family was. If my tribe did not deserve to die, than neither does that one." Arwyn's eyes were still moist with tears, but determination flowed freely out of them.
"You would betray me? ME! Dracnexilli of the Dragon Witches! Then you deserve their fate!" The witch threw a searing fireball, and the two began a battle of storm and fire. The witch ultimately withdrew from the battle before a decisive victor could emerge. Arwyn rushed to the house and found the woman and her daughter safe.
"Thank you saving us," said the woman. "Honey, you say thank you, too," she told the little girl in her arms.
"Thank you, Miss," the girl said shyly. She was hardly older than five winters. She reminded Arwyn so much of her younger sister...
Arwyn smiled and that empty ache she felt in her heart felt more profound. And yet, at the same time, it felt lighter like dawn after a cold night.
The wolf girl looked back towards the towering buildings of Millennium City. It was time she looked for a new tribe and a new forest to live in.
Wolf Druid
Wolf's tail, clawed feet, animal ears, beastial stance, tribal garments, animal tattooes.
Ice and lightning powers, and Circle of Primal Summoning to represent her connection to the natural world as a priestess/druid.
Teleport for travel power. I imagine it as more of a "spirit-walking" rather than teleport.
Does the story flow well? Is there any confusion about what any of the characters are? Are their motivations clear?
More importantly, I want to figure out how to make her personality a little more consistent by laying a slightly stronger foundation of her character. Right now, when I try her out, she seems to blather way too much, switching rapidly between a snarky tomboy and an annoying geek.
Anyway, here's what I have thus far:
"Razorgirl" Jane Statham
http://www.champions-online.com/character_profiles/250912/view
In a city where the elite and the superhuman accomplish great and notable deeds in the name of justice and a sense of service, only a select few would have the true grit and bravery to ask for money while doing it. Enter Razorgirl Jane: a crass, young woman whose fearlessness and capability are matched only by her lack of social grace. From busting gangs to thwarting supervillains, she'll do any job no matter how dirty, impossible, or life-threatening it may be - and all for a reasonable rate!
Meta Abilities
Razorgirl Jane's powers are magical in nature, fueled by an innate ability to tap into the vast magical aether that floats freely in the world. With it, she is able to enhance her own physical abilities and reaction time to superhuman levels. With some effort, Jane can create crude, but effective magical effects and even conjure weapons or barriers made of pure mystic energy.
In game, I use a combination of Single Blade, Telekinesis, and Arcane abilities. I plan to keep her mostly melee with some exceptions, keeping as close to a martial focus as I can. Razorgirl Jane's magic, like her fighting style, is a combination of trial and error and innate talent, so she won't have much in the way of finesse, like more formally trained magicians.
Background Notes
- Jane was born in a city in Rhode Island (Razorgirl Jane was originally a CoX character, so I wanted to do a little tribute to her origins, even if Paragon City isn't in the fluff).
- Jane's parents died natural/accidental deaths. I want to avoid making family tragedy her motivation.
- Jane used to run a gang called "Edge." Probably run of the mill ruffians who engaged in a lot of back alley politics and played a few pranks and some illegal stuff, but they never did anything BAD
- Gang grew, becoming more brazen and aggressive. Jane wary that group is becoming more blood-minded.
- Eventually, after gang started becoming real criminals, Jane's leadership role was usurped/she left. Busted some heads on the way out, finding out how much she liked knocking around low-life criminals and villains.
- Moved/fled to Millennium City to try to start a new life/escape from being hunted. Became a private specialist, aka hero for hire.
Personality Notes
- I want to avoid "tomboy" but Jane doesn't like very girly things
- Not a very serious person, and likes to joke about serious things, but I'm hoping to avoid total cliche.
- Friendly, but there's always an undertone of anger somewhere with her.
- Above all, Jane likes to live freely and without a tinge of regret. While she respects the hardships and dangers other heroes go through, she finds something dishonest about the pure idealism that motivates them.
- Jane is annoyed overly-serious people annoying, especially when they're, in her view, obnoxiously mopey and tragic.
So there's that. If you can help me tweak and refine this stuff, perfect! Also, maybe some character reference suggestions, male or female?
Overall, rather compelling back story and it's always good to see history retold in a more immersed narrative.
One thing I would critique on (and I could be wrong on this) is the pacing and flow of ideas in the story. For example, the first paragraph was supposed to tie into a flashback explaining Arwyn's origins, but I found the jump from present to past needs to be more intuitive:
The tie-in to the flashback is rather vague, and lends itself to the misinterpretation that it was Dracnexilli who burned down Arwyn's village. Rather, I'd try to tie the two together a little more, and add a succinct divide between the different scenes:
So that's one thing you could fix. Overall, I can see the narrative that you're crafting. Just see if you can fix up the pacing a bit, rather than jumping from crying to fighting and suddenly rescuing mother and daughter.
Thanks for the critique! It was exactly what I was looking for. I have trouble telling if the flow is smooth or not since I already know what I'm talking about. That makes it a little difficult to tell if other readers would get it or not.
No problem! And yeah...it's easy enough that you could TELL what was going on in general terms, but stylistically it jumps about without really giving the scene any visual. It sort of went "They fight!" then suddenly "Arwyn wins and saves family!"
Keep it up though.
"I never really understood why my parents gave me this suit until now. Now this suit shall be their salvation and their avenger." was heard in the darkness of the room. Seth just stood over the bodies of his parents and cried for the last time. It hadn't been that long since all the chaos started, the last few days just seemed to merge into one chaotic nightmare. Growing up in an affluent neighborhood he had a good life, happy parents, lots of toys and friends. Never knowing or really caring about what his parents did, Seth wanted to be a hero like Defender and the Champions. But somehow that seemed like so long ago, that dream so far from being a reality. He held the very item in his hands that could give him all that and more, the very item that took everything he cared about away.
It all went wrong a few days ago when his parents told him the truth about thier jobs. They built a power suit for VIPER, and when they realize who their client was realized they couldn't let him have it. Seth had always known his parents were some kind of scientists but thought all that stuff was too boring. He had been on the football and track teams, he had decided to become a cop to help the hero's that he had loved, now he hears his parents tell him they made a super suit for the worst criminals on the planet. Merely days from enrolling in the police academy Seth doesn't want to listen to another word, grabs his pack and walks out the door. Only later that night did he find the belt in his bag, holding it up in the light he sees its technological and decides it couldn't hurt to just put it on. Instantly the suit seems to spring from the belt and in moments is covering his entire body. Heads up displays show his vital signs and the atmospheric reading for the local area. Simple eye movements and cross hairs form and track anywhere he looks, able to zoom in and identify the objects in his hotel room. A strange warning buzzer to his left catches his attention and as he turns his head a tiny microphone is highlighted by the suits systems, the suit senses his increased stress level and uses a small emp charge to disable the listening device. Just a moment later there is a knock at the door.
"Crap! How do I take this thing off?" as he mutters these very words the suits retracts back into the belt and he quickly grabs a large t-shirt and pulls it over so it covers the belt as he answers the door.
"Hello Mr. Kalapp, I believe you have something of ours." says a well dressed man that is standing in front of two much larger men wearing poorly fitting suits.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Seth says nervously
"Well I believe you do, but I don't think this is the place to discuss this. Would you please come with us. Your parents are waiting for you back home."
Instantly feeling very scared the belt responds and the suit is covering him once more. Pushing past the large men as if they weren't standing there he rushes down the hallway and out the front door, moving faster than he has ever ran before. The large men start to give chase but the other holds up a hand to stop them.
"We know where he's going. No need to draw attention to ourselves here." quickly activating his communicator "The target is on his way. Make sure his parents are secure."
Listening to the other end of the phone with a growing look of anger he suddenly screams back into the communicator.
"I don't care if they had hidden weapons!!! I ORDERED that they weren't to be harmed. Now prepare for the worst, the child is not going to cooperate now."
All this was just a few minutes ago, Seth's suit had picked up the communication and relayed it to him as he rushed home. Now he stands over his parents bodies with the belt in his hand knowing that VIPER waits outside for him to make his next move.
[Its not a complete story obviously but its a start. I'll try to finish it after I get off work, or feel free to use what you want from this part and have someone else finish it. Hope it helps you out.]
I am pretty much new to role-playing and I have never really written a back story before. I am working on one for a character I was hoping to role-play called "Millennium Man".
The story I have so far is below, I apologise for any poor grammar or spelling in advance and would appreciate any feedback. Also my knowledge of The Champions Universe isn't great just what I have picked up from playing Champions Online, The Website and the Wiki so I apologise if I have made any big errors in Lore.
1st Draft
Joseph Rogers sat amongst the still smouldering rubble of his home and workshop in downtown Detroit. The golden metal fragment he held in his hand glimmered as he wiped the dust from its surface with his thumb, the other side was blackened and scorched.
Joe cursed at the fragment as he slowly lifted his head to look at the ruined skyline of his beloved city. Alarms and sirens sounded close-by, there was rubble everywhere, fire and thick smoke plumed into an increasingly black sky.
As he gazed at what was left of his city Joe's heart sank further, he had failed her and all her citizens. He had failed all those innocents, all those he had sworn to defend with his life. When Detroit needed him most he hadnt been able to stop her destruction. He had answered the call like scores of others but for Joe this failure was personal. Detroit had been his to protect of course he would fight for her, and he should have done more.
But it was over almost as soon as it had begun the orbital cannon laid waste to both his enemy and his friends in one fleeting simultaneous moment. Then it ripped out his heart as it rained havoc and destruction throughout his beloved Detroit. Joe had only survived the initial blast due to his power armour and dumb luck.
He cursed his own survival, the guilt he felt was too painful and the shame of his failure immeasurable. He longed to have perished with his fellow heroes; he wished he had died that day too. Peering down once more at the fragment he had been squeezing so tightly in his hand Captain Detroit felt broken inside.
In the weeks and months that followed the death toll kept rising as some of the badly wounded succumbed to their injuries. Joe attended more funerals of his family, friends and colleagues than he ever thought possible. Six months after the battle of Detroit he had decided that his hero career was over. The Mayor and several big corporations had unveiled plans to build a new city over the ruins of his beloved Detroit. A city of the future! they said, Pah another lifeless monstrosity no doubt with no soul in her he spat as the plans were laid out on the evening news.
After the horrors of that day Joe already doubted his strength to continue as Captain Detroit and this news just blackened his mood further. They were not going to rebuild his beloved Detroit; they were going to bury her. His friends The Champions had told him not to make any hasty decisions; they said they would help him if he ever wanted to return and Dr Silverback loaned him a manufacturing replicator for his workshop. It was to help him rebuild his home and workshop and so he could help others too he said. But Joe knew it was also to try and entice him to construct new armour. And he certainly considered it for a while but after weeks of soul searching he felt his sprit was utterly broken. The guilt of such loss and the shame of such failure lay so heavy with him that Joe took the decision to hang up his cape. He finally got his wish to all intents and purposes it seemed Captain Detroit had perished in the Battle of Detroit after all.
Joe spent the months that followed trying to rebuild some of his old life; he took a grant offered from one of the big corporations to help rebuild his home and workshop. And he used the manufacturing replicator to help out what few friends he had left to do the same. The replicator could replicate any material into any shape as long as you had a sample for analysis. In mere moments it allowed Joe to replicate structural metal beams wooden doors and glass for windows items that would have taken weeks to acquire by any normal method given the demand. As the months passed slowly a new city began to emerge around him. It certainly wasn't Detroit but she wasn't as lifeless as he had imagined. Sure she was modern and sleek and fancy looking, but she seemed to have a soul too. Through the camaraderie of the survivors some of the gritty fight of Old Detroit seemed to live on and pass over into this new body.
Though he would never admit it, slowly she was growing on him. That said he could never take to the streets to defend her, all the fight had been taken out of him. Besides she wouldn't need him now that The Champions had set up their Headquarters in what people were now calling Millennium City.
He admired the courage of his friends The Champions and was in awe of their dogged resolve and persistence. Joe wondered how they ever found the strength to go on after the battle of Detroit. He for one was certain nothing could ever make him want to take to the streets again.
The city alarm sounded in the early hours, and it made Joe's blood run cold. He shot up in a sweat from his bunk in the workshop and ran to the window. Suddenly there was an explosion in the distance then another and another, NOT AGAIN please god, not again... he gasped.
He gazed out of the window and on the horizon he saw fire and there were strange lights in the sky. Just then he heard a familiar buzzing coming from his bedside drawer and his blood ran cold once more. He walked in what seemed like slow motion over to his bedside cabinet and stared for a moment in horror at the half open drawer. Vibrating, flashing and dancing around inside he saw his old communicator, he slammed the drawer shut and slumped next to his bunk.
I cannot, I will not go through this again he said, resolute in his mind. But the buzzing persisted and seemed to get louder and louder, in a flurry of emotion he yanked open the drawer grabbed the communicator and stared at it flashing in his hand, he was shaking.
As he opened the communicator he heard a recording of the voice of his friend Defender. "Calling all heroes the Champions need your assistance an alien threat is invading our beloved Millennium City." "Aliens" Joe muttered to himself almost in a whisper. Then the communicator crackled again "All heroes of past, present and even new recruits no matter your experience we need you, if you can join us please fight your way to Champions HQ where we will mount a counter attack. We would not ask you to carry this burden if the situation was not grave. Thank you and Good Luck to you all".
With that the transmission ended, almost abruptly, Joe hoped The Champions were ok. What now? The Champions were calling ALL heroes no matter how experienced; this must mean a serious threat indeed, perhaps even as terrible as that day. I can't go He said to himself; I have no armour I have no strength left to fight. What if I fail, what if I fail her... again.
At that moment another explosion went off, much closer this time, so close in fact that it shattered the windows in Joe's workshop and sprayed glass all over the place. Then a split second later another explosion, this one blew a hole in the wall and sent Joe and much of his machinery and tools flying. Some drums in the corner of his workshop containing old used oil burst and sprayed all over the walls, floor and ceiling.
As Joe slowly lifted his head from the floor the oil ran down the walls and dripped from the ceiling. In the haze and through his blurred vision the oil looked like thick black blood. "She is bleeding!" he whispered My beautiful city is bleeding once more. Slowly he forced himself up onto one knee "I cannot allow this to happen again" he said, more forthright this time.
Joe ran through the dust and debris to his locker at the opposite end of the workshop to where the bomb hit. It was dented and he had to use a screwdriver to force the door open. He rifled through the shelves, Where is it, where is it he ranted. Then from the back of a shelf, from the darkness it shimmered at him the golden metal fragment.
If he was going to help The Champions and Millennium City it was his only hope. Joe scooped up the golden fragment and ran over to the Manufacturing Replicator. It seemed to still be functional as he cleared the dust from the control panel. Joe punched in his pass key and quickly scrolled through the library of blueprints. He quickly located his improved power armour blueprint which he had worked on over the weeks that he pondered a return as Captain Detroit. It wasnt perfect and he had never replicated a test version so it was completely untried, but he had no time. He hoped the small golden metal fragment would compensate for any flaws in his design and give him the edge he desperately needed.
He activated the blueprint and the machine requested a sample to replicate the armour from, it was then that Joe slowly and carefully placed the fragment of Dr Destroyers helmet into the replicator and hit enter.
The machine whirred into action the lights in the workshop flickered as the machine drained power from the workshop supply. Within minutes the sequence was complete and a full set of gleaming power armour shone with a brilliant luminescence in the middle of the now dark workshop. The machine had killed the power supply to the shop but it had worked!
Joe reached out and ran his hand over the chest plate, it felt cold and smooth but it looked strong. He wasted no time in donning the power suit, it was far lighter than he had imagined. Ok Joe said to himself Its now or never as he readied himself to leave.
Joe stepped through the huge hole in his workshop wall and he was outside in the cool early morning air. He took a moment and gazed skyward then he kicked his heels together to ignite his rocket boots. There was a fizz and a spark but nothing happened! Dammit! Joe exclaimed This is not a good start, looks like I am on foot.
Joe ran as fast as he could muster along 112th street, litter, ash and dust swirled by him. He could see strange shapes high above him as he glanced up. The invaders ships reminded him of giant beetles silhouetted against the sky. As he rounded the corner onto the street housing the Champions HQ he stopped dead in his tracks. There were groups of weird insect like creatures swarming towards the Champions HQ some were less than 100 metres away from Joe.
His jaw gaped Some of them must be over 8 feet tall! he stammered. For a moment the fear got to him, he felt a tremble pass through his body, but then it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. I cannot turn back now said Joe, pushing himself forward I guess its time to test this new armour.
And with that Joe launched himself at the nearest group of insect beasts with his new Laser Sword in hand. He was quite graceful in combat for his tall frame, and he was deadly. The first two groups fell quickly he attacked from behind and had the element of surprise. However the next group saw him coming and in the middle of them was one of the really tall ones. He struck a heavy blow to one of the smaller ones it reeled back making a bloodcurdling clicking noise. This startled Joe enough for the big one to get in a thumping blow, Joe was thrown through the air and his Laser Sword was knocked from his hand landing a few metres away and sliding underneath a parked car.
Continued below....
Joe powered up his concussion beams and cut a path through the swarm of insects all the way to Ironclad running as fast as he could. The creatures were flung left and right and it put them down just long enough for him to reach his comrade.
Hero thank you for coming join us in this Glorious Battle! We must defend the cannon while it is prepared boomed Ironclad. Ironclad its me, err... Captain Detroit. You look different my friend, but I am glad you are here, we could certainly use your prowess these Qularr are very aggressive.
Joe took position as directed and over the next 20 minutes he fought tooth and nail alongside his fellow heroes. Wave after wave of the Qularr, as he now knew them to be called, dropped from small ships. At times he thought he was done for then a blast would come over his shoulder or from his flank to aid him. Joe fought with all he could muster to defend her once more.
Finally a speaker near the cannon crackled to life and the words it uttered were salvation to all who opposed the Qularr invaders. Launch the Ironclad Defence!
As the cannon fired Joe watched the shell impact on the hull of the alien mother ship and within moments the rest of the Qularr were in full retreat, this time he hadnt failed her.
In the days that followed there was a ceremony held by the Major to honour the heroes who had answered the call and had fought so valiantly to protect Millennium City.
When it was Joes turn to meet the Mayor and Defender he approached the podium reluctantly but with pride. I dont believe I have had the pleasure said the Mayor softly. What do they call you hero? he asked. This is, I mean this was formally Captain Detroit, Mr Mayor announced Defender. I am so sorry said the mayor But I thought you had fallen at the Battle of Detroit? the Mayor said embarrassed.
That is ok Mr Mayor said Joe You are indeed right the spirit of Captain Detroit did perish that day along with his beloved city. It is time for me to let that old ghost go.
As you wish hero, then what name should we put on your medal? asked the Mayor.
Well this is a new city, she is fragile and an important symbol of defiance to all the evil in the world, I see that now said Joe.
And as long as she will have me, and as long as she needs me I will be her protector I will be her Millennium Man.
1st Draft
Thanks for reading.
Here it is my first attempt:
RedRibbon BS
Somebody can say to me if there are faults of formulation or grammar? Thank you in advance;)
Throwdown
Scion
Eather way, you can see the bios here: http://forums.champions-online.com/showthread.php?t=98938
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Edgar Cuthbert has been a very talented psychokinetic from a young age and for a long time, couldn't control his power. Whenever he would get angry or frustrated, his powers would manifest through objects being thrown around and hurting the people around him. By the age of 7, his parents couldn't handle it any more. They abandoned him in the middle Edinburgh, Scotland the day before his eighth birthday.
For the next 5 years of his life, he was forced to wander the streets of this city, alone. With nothing to occupy his time, he began training his powers, learning how to properly control them. By the age of ten, he could phase through materials and form small balls of energy in his palm. He continued to train these abnormal abilities of his day in day out, only stopping to sleep or eat.
During the winter of the twelfth year of his life, a priest of the Church of Scotland stumbled upon this young boy siting in an alleyway covered in snow, shivering. This holy man would be his savior from this life of squalor and loneliness, for he gave this boy a new life and a future. Edgar thought of this man as his father, for he was the first man to show him affection. Even so, Edgar concealed his powers, for fear of this man rejecting him just like his biological parents had. This fear never swayed him from honing his powers when night fell
Edgar was with this man every day, for he feared the loneliness he had previously experienced. Edgar was inspired by his charisma and love for all living. He followed in his footsteps and by the age of 25, he became a priest himself. No longer living with this priest, he bought an apartment a few miles south of the priest's house. They now thought of each other as equals and did holy work all throughout Scotland.
In the fall of his second year as a man of the cloth, the priest was called out to Glenrothes, a city on the eastern coast of Scotland. He was called there to perform an exorcism on a local possessed boy. Edgar went with him, in hopes of learning a little bit more in the ways of exorcising a person firsthand. The exorcism went smoothly at first - at least as smooth as an exorcism can go. When the demon had been expelled from the boy's body it went straight for the priest and knocked him into a wall, where he fell unconscious. Edgar stood over the priest's body, shook him, and asked if he was alright. The priest's eyes opened to a slit and noticed him there. He hopped up to his feet and grabbed Edgar by the throat. He was terrified. The very man that had brought him in and raised him as if he were one of his own was now trying to kill him. Tears were streaming down his now blue face and in his moment of desperation, he closed his eyes and thrust his hands forward toward the priest. He heard the sound of piercing flesh and felt the grip loosen around his neck. When he opened his eyes, he saw the priest clutching his chest with the only arm he had left, and in Edgar's hands were two blade-like figures composed entirely of energy.
Edgar stood there, petrified. The only person he ever held dear was standing right in front of him, bleeding profusely, all because of him. As the priest collapsed to the ground, he noticed the same demon flee his body. Edgar rushed over to the body and held the priest's head in his hand. He told him to go toward the light, for he would be with God soon. When his body finally went limp, Edgar left the house.
He never returned to the church that day, and he never would. He promised himself that this day marked a new life for him. He would travel the world and expunge the world of its evil by any means necessary. He harnessed the very ability that he had killed the priest with and used it to punish all that was bad in the world. Taking on the name Exorcist in memory of that fateful night, he began his journey in hopes of rectifying his wrongdoing.
The idea is an Alien supersoldier with claw framework in mind.
Don't know much about the different species so would like some help with that. So I can make the right choice. The species has to be someone good at waging war and high development of technology.
This is what I got so far
You can see pictures of him in this thread http://forums.champions-online.com/showthread.php?t=111916
Name: Lazerblade(For now)
Identity: Draknar Sor
Origin: Dorvala(For now)
Powers: Lazerblades(Claw)
He was a Dorvalen(or other alien species) supersoldier made to end a conflict with the Thorgons and he is the only one who survived a major battle. Since he couldn't find any from his unit. He thought of himself as releaved from his duty to the Perseid Empire.
After that he went into the Mercenary business. Doing al sorts of work: the Perseid empire's dirty work, smuggling, bodyguarding etc.
He got tired of the dirty business and headed out for a new adventure. On his journey through the galaxy he noticed large masses of Qularr ships headed for a Blue planet.
He decided to follow them at a safe distance. When they launched their attack he felt an urge to stop them.
He cloaked his ship and set the course for the mothership. He flew up to the side of the ships control center and activated his boarding hatch.
Then he slashed through the hull and fought his way to the controlroom.
Suddenly an explosion occured and he saw a Metalman(Ironclad) emerge from the rubble of the ship. He grabbed the first Qularr he saw and killed it instantly.
They quickly perceived that they were on the same side and started fighting towards the controlroom.
This is what I got so far
All critique and help is welcome:)
Any ideas?
"Eru Iluvatar hails from another dimension where a
Prosperous and peaceful Utopian Empire reigns supreme. One
day while searching one of the many temples dedicated to
arcane learning he discovered a powerful orb hidden behind
one of the walls. As he leaned forward to touch it, it
started to glow with an immense light and before he could
pull himself away he was sucked inside and transported to
our dimension. Upon finding himself in The West side of
Millennium City he was shocked at the rampant crime and
poverty. Realizing his powers would be of great use on
earth he decided to stay and help bring mankind into an era
of peace."
Well if you would like you could look at the back-story I posted just above your post and give it some critique.:cool:
Okay, don't mind the nitpicking, just trying to help.
Is Utopian descriptive or the empire's name? If the former, decapitalize that. also, prosperous should be decapped as well.
In a utopia, his powers would be of no use. I would find a way to describe how and why he has the powers. For example, maybe he inherited them as an atavistic trait from a bygone time when warriors used those powers, but no one in ages had them.
It would also explain why he was in the temples. Researching how the powers worked in the old days would give him an excuse to be there as well as digging for old texts would give him the opportunity to be exposed to the orb.
Otherwise the story is very workable and definitely worth working into the backstory of your character. I'm interested in seeing a revised version and how that plays out.
Honestly? You'd call it whatever you wanted. When I was living in Japan back in the mid-90s (yay for living out in town, offbase!), one of the neighbors had a pet raccoon dog. They actually called it 'John'.
If you're looking for something a little more in tune with kaidan and legends, look up the story of Bunbuku Chagama. It's the story about a brave little tanuki, a hero in his own way. Most stories about tanuki in Japanese mythology tend to be unnamed characters, so this one stands out.
Hope this helps.
Adding a color can not only help firm up a name but can also help with the costume. I have a Force guy in armor called Black Emerald for instance. My first toon in CO was Silver Falcon.
Another thing to consider with two-word names is word length. One short (one syllable) and one long (more than one syllable) can work well. Nick Mannis is a good name for a secret identity. Red Justice and Diamond Jim are other examples.
A name can be descriptive (Giant Guy) or vague (Nebulous) and both have their advantages.
If the name includes an iconic possession (Fire Axe) then that possession should be fairly prominent to the character.
Hope this helps others having trouble with characters
I really need help with the story as i am not a creative writer. I have put in several calls to alan moore but i seem to always go straight to voicemail these days. (lol....)
Well, my immediate thought on reading this is, combine the two...
He was a soldier, a very good one; always seemed to get out of any jam... his ability to survive seemed almost inate, instinctive...
Then his transport plane crashed in the jungle leaving him the only survivor (perhaps he was injured, a brain injury?)... It was here, in this savage and primal environment, that his mutant albilities surfaced (perhaps his mutation could be the ability to adapt to and survive any environment...)
Come up with how he was found (and rehabilitated, if needed); maybe the local rebels have a legend of a killing machine that lives on a mountain side they avoid and a research team is sent... or perhaps another person (military?) crashes in the same area years later and your character discovers him and helps him to survive...
I really like how the outline you gave is open to a lot of avenues...
P.S. I know it might end up being a long post. So, if it isn't too much trouble could you PM it to me? Or just post it on the off chance someone else needs it.
A demonette unfettered, a dark shadow unchained, she bides her time in feigned acts of heroism, regaining the powers stolen from her whilst captive. Once, stars died in the shadow of her gaze. Once, kings wept at her feet, desperate to offer tribute. Once, nations crumbled at a gesture. She seeks to bring those days again, to regain what she lost, to become once more a Dark Queen. But until she can, all the world shall see is a little shadow, bound in gold and crimson, stealing the life out of those who would prey upon the innocent. After all, in a world where heroes and villains wage open war, the guilty are fair game...
Pretty good, actually. Oddly enough, I created a character that has gone the opposite direction. A sorcerer of great power, he was a would-be world conqueror who was imprisoned by a group of selfless wizards. His powers stripped, he spent 800 years encased in a crystal until he was accidentally released by superhumans fighting. With very little of his original magic ability left, he became a "street magician" of some acclaim. He used his magic to foil a robbery he stumbled upon in a back alley, and decided that the 'thrill' gave his life renewed purpose. Now he pursues magic to help people.
So, which is better?
My thread where I present Novel Readings of my characters backstory.
What do you guys think?
Nice roleplaying potential, particularly if the character has difficulty masking her true personality and motivations from the heroes she interacts with. It could also be interesting if she experiences a gradual change of heart, finding she actually enjoys helping people and receiving gratitude rather than fear.
The Champions Universe has plenty of precedent for such a character, too. Its backstory includes a series of pre-historic civilizations when magic was in the ascendancy, with powerful gods who have since been forgotten, and diminished or "starved" to death from lack of worship. Your character could easily be one of those.
Born from the remnants of DNA from an alternate universe from , time traveling aliens they named her ad
I believe we're in a very similar situation. My characters' bios tend to end up more like stories (to the point where I run out of room to write) instead of dossiers, which is what I intend them to be. I could also really use the help in getting them set up more like the official PRIMUS/UNTIL info.
EDIT: Wow, when I posted I didn't notice just how far back the last post was. Please tell me this thread's not dead.
He then tried his luck with ARGENT. They knew about his criminal past, so they didnt even pretend to employ him as a legal asset. They put him in charge of an ARGENT strike team and after he proved to be more than capable, they allowed him to study at one of the companies universities, where he got his doctorate in medicine and behavioral psychology. He then was sent back to his squad, but not as their leader, but as field medic. After the first battles against law enforcement, Dr. Kaufmann saw, that his medical skills could not only be used to heal, but also to harm. Shortly after that enlightening thought, Kaufmann left ARGENT. He found out by accident that they had been pulling fast ones on him from the beginning and manipulated his insurance rates. He left them and blew up a part of the local ARGENT building so they had something to remember him by.
Since he knew, that ARGENT would be looking for him, he went to Russia, where he got in contact with a recruiter of the Shadow Army of the Warlord. Because he needed someone to protect him from ARGENT, he joined the Shadow Army right there. He was stationed in Sibiria, where he again quickly rose in the ranks after several battles against the Russian government. He already discovered his talent for stealth operations and assassinations and he was really good at it. If everything would have went fine for a little longer, he may have had a place in the War Machine, but things went different. One night after celebrating another soldiers birthday Dr. Kaufmann was drunk as hell he decided he could borrow the racing motorcycle of his superior. Unfortunately, Dr. Kaufmann had absolutely no experience with motorcycles, so he ran it into the ground in the middle of the Russian taiga. His superior boiled with rage and tried to send him to a labor camp for disciplinary reasons, but Dr. Kaufmann killed the two soldiers, who were to escort him and bolted.
From then on, his trail blurs for a few years; there is a document with the tags Closed and Filing in the archive of a VIPER Nest in Monaco, which puts his execution for desertion on the record. One year later he appears as a mercenary for Executive Control Solutions. He caused quite a stir there with his daring and ruthless attitude and his skill on the battlefield. One time they were up against PSI. They had to defend some warehouse. He and his men were surrounded and their commander had been killed by an aneurysm one of the PSI members caused. Kaufmann seized the command and ordered his men to build a dummy psi-inhibitor out of scrap parts and destroyed equipment. Then he sounded the charge. The PSI mooks saw the inhibitor and retreated out of fear. Kaufmann was greatly praised by his superiors for quick thinking and effectiveness on the battlefield. Behind his back they plotted to kill him, because they had struck a deal with PSI to commit insurance fraud. They never finished their plan. Kaufmann bolted with the cash box of his unit. After enduring so much incompetence and backstabbing, Dr. Kaufmann decided, he would be his own master now, so he went into the criminal underground in Millenium City and started a mercenary business under several false names. He has worked as an investigator, hitman and sometimes even vigilante for hire ever since.
In combat, Dr. Kaufmann has only one rule: Winning, whatever the cost. Since he has no superpower at all, he gave up fighting fair long ago. He will take hostages, stab his enemies in the back (not literally, he hates blades), pervert his medical knowledge and generally use every dirty trick that gives him even the slightest advantage over his superhuman enemies. Once he had to execute a high-ranking VIPER member, who was known to use an experimental force field, which gave him total protection from bullets. Dr. Kaufmann, who refrained to endanger himself with close combat insisted on using his sniper rifle. He found out, that the girlfriend of his target served also in VIPER and even in the same squad. Kaufmann shot her with a remote-triggered high-explosive shell in the chest. When the VIPER commander rushed to his dying girlfriend, Kaufmann triggered the explosive and took him out; together with his squad. He uses top-notch equipment - either slavaged, stolen or bought from several less-than-reputable sources - like a high-tech sniper rifle, a high-voltage telescope shock baton, heavy-duty explosives and much more.
Critique requested!
http://forums.champions-online.com/showthread.php?p=2016242#post2016242
You've got to be kidding me. I just hauled all these bricks down here for nothing?
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I was Dubsy on the Old Forums. I am still @Dubsy in-game. Also, lol.
Hah... yeah, that's something that get's lost in the translation. When Ghosthack posted this, it was her signature sign off to toss a brick (to account for many less than 10 char posts :P).
It doesn't mean quite the same thing, once it's "generic Perfect World User" :P
so.....if you're not using these bricks....
*throws a brick!* :cool:
FROM THE FILES OF ARGENT, POTENTIAL ADVERSARY DATABASE
CODE NAME: Mammoth
LEGAL NAME: Unknown, subject has been called JJ in friendly communications; this diminutive might signify her real name.
EVIDENT GENDER: Female
EVIDENT AGE: Early to mid twenties
BACKGROUND: Unknown. Dark skin, African-American features, accent implies midwestern upbringing. Mammoth's true background has been obscured by PRIMUS.
KNOWN AFFILIATIONS: PRIMUS, Trismegistus Council
KNOWN ADVERSARIES: Ch-trak-chk (sp?)(exiled warrior from an alternate reality wherein insect life dominates the Earth; see attached file)
METAHUMAN ABILITIES: Mammoth exhibits superhuman strength, durability, endurance and neural responsiveness. She uses rocket-boots for fast travel which are apparently based on PRIMUS soldier exo-suit designs. SOURCE OF ABILITIES: Flight power appears to be mechanical, although Mammoth's rocket-boots seem to provide greater responsiveness than typical PRIMUS designs. Her other abilities are organic in origin; she is most probably a mutant.
EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS: Mammoth appears to be inured to insults, and is difficult to provoke. Telepathic scans reveal unusual sensitivity regarding family; if they can be identified and threatened Mammoth may prove pliant. Moreover, she seems sensitive to romantic options due to her super-strength; she might be open to seduction.
Just to clarify the versatility of this approach, here's another file for a different character -
CODE NAME: Skinner
LEGAL NAME: Anastazia Skinner, usually called Skinner or Taz. Identity obscure but not secret.
EVIDENT GENDER: Female
EVIDENT AGE: Late teens to early twenties (legal age - 19.)
BACKGROUND: Skinner is one of the few known female Irradiates. Serving as a scout for the early Irradiate incursions she inflicted significant damage and casualties before she was captured by an unknown super-powered squad and taken to the nascent Project Greenskin. Tests indicated that she was thirteen years old at the time of her capture.
She was the subject of early attempts at reversing Irradiate transformation, but these proved unavailing because of her innate mutations; apparently she was a mutant from birth, and her powers activated when she became an Irradiate, effectively adapting her to Irradiate biostructure permanently. Her original family remains entirely unknown; they are probably dead or Irradiates.
Despite her unusual appearance she has proven amenable to socialization. She is almost nonverbal, but understands normal speech and interacts productively with others. Due to her early influences, her skills are mostly combat-oriented. She has green skin, reddish-black hair, and Asian features. She makes no attempt to conceal her appearance, apparently on principle, thus she sometimes excites comment in mundane surroundings.
KNOWN AFFILIATIONS: PRIMUS, UNTIL, various individual superheroes.
KNOWN ENEMIES: VIPER, DEMON, Prince 'Pokalips (Irradiate supervillain who apparently followed Skinner to civilization, see attached file)
METAHUMAN ABILITIES: Superhuman speed, telekinetic ability to generate blade-like extrusions capable of great cutting damage as well as disrupting neural activity without injury, making her one of the few blade-wielding superhumans to have a 'stun setting'. Superhuman nightvision, possibly IR or UV sentitive. PRIMUS grade comm headset. SOURCE OF ABILITIES: Organic in origin, various sources of mutation, with some equipment provided by PRIMUS.
EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS: Various, difficult to predict. Almost all such triggers provoke lethal violence, but she is intelligent enough to direct that violence at the real source of the provocation, not just the obvious source. Provocation not recommended. Family and loved ones either dead or superhuman; threats not recommended.
So? What do you think?
I'm thinking that he has some Siberian Tiger DNA, and he comes from Eastern Europe/Russia (or that he was originally Russian, and somehow got changed into his current form). He's had spec ops/covert ops training at one point, possibly Spetsnaz, and he uses a laser guided longbow.
If what you're looking for is help fleshing out your character's background details and history, rather than his look or game-mechanical build, this is an eminently right place.
I can think of a couple of elements from official Champions Universe lore that could work for such a character from that part of the world.
During the Cold War the Soviet Union built the "science city" of Larisagrad high in the Ural Mountains to conduct highly classified research, most notably Directorate Black-12, the Soviet program to create government super-soldiers. After the Soviet Union's collapse the scientist citizens of Larisagrad lost their generous state funding, so they decided to go freelance and sell their expertise to the highest bidder, regardless of motive or reputation. Governments, corporations, terrorist and conspiracy groups, and supervillains have all utilized Larisagrad's scientific services over the years.
Silver Tip could have been a product of the last stages of Directorate Black-12 if he's old enough; or if not, his creation could have since been contracted by a variety of parties, such as the modern government of Russia, the Russian mob, or prominent Russian villains like the former spymaster Molnya.
Particularly if Silver Tip has a noticeably feline appearance, he may be a beast-man/ manimal. Amidst a forest in Ukraine lies Gornyj Zver ("Beast Mountain"), the site of the original laboratory of the infamous Dr. Phillippe Moreau, who mutated animals to humanoid form and intelligence. After Moreau was defeated and captured by superheroes in 1985, most of the remaining beast-men chose to remain at their community on Beast Mountain. A few of them have chosen to explore the wider world for various reasons, but aside from a few superheroes and the local Ukrainians, the existence of Beast Mountain has remained secret.
Silver Tip might have been one of these beast-men who was curious about the outside world. He could have been captured by a regional government or criminal elements, perhaps even brainwashed to serve; or he could have sought them out on his own to offer his services.
Whichever origin you prefer, Silver Tip wouldn't necessarily have to have been under the government to receive quality military training. Many soldiers became disaffected with the treatment of the Russian army post-Soviet era, and took up other employment.
I hope that was helpful. If you'd like any more information about any of the above, feel free to post a followup.