Literary Challenge #66 - Xindi Paradox
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Literary Challenge #66.
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*Patrick Katsulas voice* My muse is speaking to me! :P
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
As for the other two, well, anyone who doesn't already know why my characters joined Starfleet and/or the KDF just hasn't been paying attention. And I'm not touching "The Magnificent Ferengi" - that's one of my all-time favorite episodes and there's no way I could improve upon that script.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Maybe Commander Davis could get to interview H'mL'n after all, and find out what put her in a Starfleet uniform... :cool:
With regard to 66.1, I despise almost anything remotely having to do with time travel. The entire Temporal Cold War arc never happened as far as I'm concerned because it was stupid, nonsensical, and spoke to a complete misunderstanding of the term "cold war". They just threw three random words together and called it good. And if somebody wants to change history? They're welcome to it, and good riddance: Star Trek canon strongly indicates that severe temporal incursions just split off alternate timelines rather than change the original. And as Teal'c so eloquently put it in SG-1: "Point of View", "Ours is the only reality of consequence."
And none of my captains would likely work with Franklin Drake anyway: Eleya considers Drake a smarmy, self-righteous prick and her XO Tess hates him (from Bait and Switch chapter nine), and Brokosh and Morgan never had the dubious pleasure of his company, being respectively A) a mercenary working for the Klingons and a Lawful Good Rihanha more likely to put a disruptor bolt between his eyes on general principles than willingly work with him.
66.2 wouldn't make for a very long story because their reasons are pretty straightforward. Eleya was a sergeant in the Bajoran Militia with a specialty in naval gunnery, and the service had just shut down the space arm. Starfleet was the only way for her to stay in space (where her skillset was), and her test scores were good enough for her to get into Starfleet Academy's OCS program rather than continuing as a noncom. Brokosh signed on with the KDF because his wife was pregnant and he needed the steady paycheck (the House of Chel'toK was pretty impoverished at that time). Morgan joined the RRF to get even with the Tal'Shiar, and before that joined the RSN out of patriotism.
66.3? I've never really been comfortable with the episode rewrites, with the exception of episodes I'm familiar enough with to feel they actually need a rewrite. "The Magnificent Ferengi" doesn't particularly IMHO. EDIT: Actually, on second thought, if I'd been writing it Quark wouldn't have even been involved. The job would have fallen to the Ferengi Alliance Defense Fleet, not a gaggle of unqualified civilians.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
Don't really like #1, Episode Rewrites aren't my cup of tea, so #3 is out, but #2... might have potential.
Might need to examine some of my short origin stories, see if any need expanding.
In the meantime, I'll read other people's entries, and might potentially leave a review.
And the story of Brokosh reaching the point where joining the KDF for the paycheck seems like the best option sounds like an interesting tale to me. They don't all have to feature massed phaser fire and a desperate battle against the odds.
This is one entry that won't be going into 'Victorious', but it is in continuity with that if you want to read it (follow the link in my description: feedback is not only welcome, but desperately desired! :P).
Okay, so, any thoughts on my entry? Love it? Hate it? Wanna propose marriage to it? Wanna burn it at the stakes?
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
Ryan, nice story as usual. You want me to swing it by Springhole?
Please! By the way, have you checked out my Victorious fan fiction?
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
I'll do it tomorrow so you can be sure of a review from DEA, and yes! I like it very much so far. :cool:
Thanks! Oh, and I just read your entry! Once again, Three showing just how bat-s*** insane she is! :P
Anyway, do you have any comments to make on the storyline I'm pursuing in my entry?
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
Would it be excessively self-aggrandizing of me to collect my stories thus far into a single thread here in Ten Forward? This is an honest question, as I'm on the autism spectrum and often uncertain how various actions might be perceived by "normal" folks.
By all means! I'm basically doing the same thing with my stories by chronicling my LC entries in with my fanfic. And the link in my sig leads to a thread where I've organised all the fanfics I've started (all unfinished and one abandoned. Don't worry, Worffan, Game of Houses will get finished! Eventually... ).
But, I digress. Bottom line; organising your stories in a single thread sounds like a great idea!
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
Heh, Three's insane. Stay tuned to that post, D'trel's backstory is coming.
It looks...interesting. I will definitely be watching your posts to see what happens next.
That... actually helps somewhat. Thanks.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
I wrote the second part after midnight; I just couldn't sleep until it was done. :rolleyes:
It's becoming a running theme with me.
Guilty as charged.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
ptortoise gave both of Masopw's stories from the last LC bananas, too, so I'd say your story rates about a 7 or an 8.
DEA wasn't on the chat, so if you want her thoughts I can try again later.
worffan101: Excellent stuff, want to hear something funny? I actually preceded the Three story to D'trell's, and felt that ran on a bit (by comparison to the shorter and tighter Three story) but very nice work. Much more palatable than your usual output of torture and sexual harassment shenanigans :cool:
angelus214: A nice introduction and concept, I'll be looking forward to seeing more of Angelus in future LC's :cool:
Yeah, that's the closest the unit gets to "Job interview" mode.
I mean, she was actually polite and respectful! :eek:
D'trel has more backstory than the unit, at least more backstory that really has a bearing on her personality. Three...Three's a cloned living superweapon, and that's all that really needs to be said.
I COULD have shown some snapshots of Three's life, or her Original's millennia of being a living terror weapon, but that would've been creepy as heck and would've taken up more space than I had.
Thanks for the review!
No worries, and I just realised the iPADD altered the word 'preferred' >_< But yeah, it worked well :cool:
Haha! Thanks. Yeah, I was struggling to realise whether I'd use 'is' or 'are' for the subject part...
But, yeah, I'd definitely appreciate all the feedback I can get. Thanks!
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
Thank you!
I even joke about how generic Ryan's original reason for joining Starfleet is in the story! :P
I'm glad you enjoyed it! Which part of the battle did you prefer?
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
Not so much that Starfleet would conspire with a temporal operative to preserve (or even commit) a genocidal act to protect the timeline. That's pretty bad and totally contrary to what Starfleet's supposed to do under ordinary circumstances, but this isn't ordinary. The ethics are debatable if one allows for the possibility of time travel and chronological tampering. Preserving the timeline is something of a Temporal Prime Directive issue.
What I find a little troubling is that the Xindi are now part of the Federation... and presumably perhaps in Starfleet... what would THEY think of this? Especially in light of the previous prophesy that the Terrans were going to destroy the Xindi.
Would the Xindi agree that the risks to the timeline justify the extinction of one of their own? Or would their history with the Sphere Builders have taught them the dangers of interfering, and of trusting someone who claims to have future knowledge?
Of course, maybe it's a rogue Xindi who's the one going back in time.
Lots of potential for a story there, for sure. But starting with the supposition that everybody's going along with the idea peacefully, well...
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Yeah, I read Three's last night but I wanted to wait until you'd finished D'Trel's part.
So, Three ended up in Starfleet by accident? She was trying to meet up with those aliens who turned up in your LC65 "Movie Night" piece and took a wrong turn somewhere in the spacetime continuum? Funny.
D'Trel's was pretty good too, really gets across that the Tal'Shiar took everything she ever had from her and left her with only rage and revenge. But you goofed on the Rihan name structure. The i' or ir' part is a locative signifying their home region, not their family name (that's t' or tr').
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/