andorrabellMember, NW M9 PlaytestPosts: 437Arc User
Oh, look, a lovely bottle of Domaine Pont de Guestres, 2009. No problems here. I will distill the scorpion venom from the previous kills earlier in the dungeon. Being *very careful* not to get any on my skin I will combine the scorpion venom, wine (what a waste) and smear it onto the back of my special friend "Walnut" a tasty looking rust monster -where it will combine with the rust flakes into a fatal concoction. While I will feel terrible about this, I will send Walnut in first. Lostmauth surely cannot resist snapping up my loyal friend into his jaws. Next thing you know Lostmauth will be killed by his own snack. I suppose he should have planned on a real meal, instead. *chuckle*
As Lostmauth is in his death throes I hope to rescue Walnut, and with a few quick swipes of my ever-present towel (because I go nowhere without one) I'll set her to rights and set out to find my next adventure...
The nearest thing on my right at this immediate moment is a small, TARDIS shaped USB hub. However, desparate times call for desparate measures. So I grasp the TARDIS, turn to Tiamat brandishing it in front of me and in my best Matt Smith voice say:
"Alright Tiamat, I'm The Doctor. Even you in your demonic dimension must have heard of me by now. Your worshippers, the Silurians will have mentioned me in their prayers to you at some point. I don't carry weapons but I am never defeated by anyone or any thing. Just ask the Daleks, the Cybermen or even your distant relative the Loch Ness Monster. So I will give you one friendly chance to turn tail now and head back to the abyss from which you came or would you rather get first hand experience of exactly how I made my TARDIS this size ?"
Hopefully, this would result in one of two things happening. Either Tiamat would hesitate for a second before beating a hasty retreat...just to be on the safe side or she would collapse on the floor in hysterical laughter (not a pretty sight to be sure) at the preposterous nature of my speech/suggestion. I would either be perfectly safe (if she took the hint and left) or have more than enough time to make a hasty exit before she recovered from her laughing fit.
The nearest thing on the right is my smartphone... which I will use to distract Tiamat. I don't know anyone that can resist watching silly catvideos, so why would she resist?
The nearest thing I would grab is... well nothing. After watching the new Star Wars Movie, I have the power of the Force. "This is not the adventurer you are looking for".
Being left handed, there is nothing to my right. As a leftie, me thinks this contest might be biased.
However, I refuse to be a snack. So I hurl harsh language, the kind I normally reserve for driving in traffic. The power of this attack should not be under estimated.
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bigredbrentMember, NW M9 PlaytestPosts: 155Arc User
I grab a fish and I feed it to Tiamat. Tiamat is satisfied and goes home.
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beckylunaticMember, NW M9 PlaytestPosts: 14,231Arc User
I grab my wife's used, broken windows phone waiting to be returned to AT&T. I throw it at the middle head and yell "I double dog dare you to sync that with your laptop!" Laughing evilly all the while, because of course that's why it's being returned - it can't do that anymore.
And then as it dawns on me that all 3 heads are staring at me like "WTF is a laptop?" I realize the bright light zooming toward me is a ball of fire Tiamat spat up while snorting in derision at my pathetic attempt at defense.
Giving me just enough time to lament that I'm not wearing any flame proof gear, and thus will succumb to burning dragon mucus.
My wifi-router. I break off the antennas and throw both of them at the eyes of the Red Tiamat head. Red Tiamat Head gets some serious irritation and starts shaking the head, attempting to remove the antennas, but instead annoy the neighbouring heads. The heads then start fighting with eachother and I get to walk away unscathed.
I quickly grab Branwyn, the royal corgi hound! She gives me a confused "baroo?" as I hold her up to the dragon queen and shout "The Power of Derp Protects Me!" The brave canine derps as hard as she can, with her tongue hanging out of the side of her mouth.
As Tiamat is briefly mesmerized by that mind boggling amount of Derp I tuck the dog under my arm like the tubby football she is and bravely run away.
Find me in game with @DoctorBadger (Un)Academic Field Work Foundry Campaign: NWS-DAPZB2CTZ
i grab some wooden toothpicks and go for the eyes! ...because boo isn't with me.
[Mitteilung] Von [Brienne von Tarth]: ach du bist der klugscheißer aus dem forum, wird ja immer schöner xD
[Mitteilung] an [Brienne von Tarth]: ja genau der bin ich
[Systemmeldung] Brienne von Tarth ignoriert Sie.
[Mitteilung] an [mich selbst]: pvp ist schon geil
Hmmm, sitting at work, to my right is my pen cup. With half a dozen pens. Well they say that the pen is mightier than the sword...
The DM has a sly grin on her face as she sits up late, writing the next module for her PCs. They think they will survive the foray into the temple of the Goddess Tiamat. How little they know.
As the hours pass...
Her scrawl becomes more unreadable as the hour increases. She looks up at the half moon shinning through the window. The slient hours. Sounds outside. Probably the alley cat.
She envisions the play through; re-reading the notes before her.
...
Strumadar runs in with his mace in hand towards Rath, the rage clearly showing on his face. Rath raises his hands and throws Strumadar back with a mighty force. Jacamo and Abyurin shake their heads and start picking Strumadar up.
Severin looks back to Rath handling the pesky adventurers. Sacrifices sometimes have to be made.
"Tiamat - rise!"
From the cavernous bowls of the temple, a hellish glow pulses. Low rumblings grow to an earth shakening rumble. Something emerges.
Dorf calls to the rest of the party. "We've taken out demons, what's a Dragon Queen to us?"
...
The DM looks happy at her work. They'll be lucky if even one of them survive to have the others raised from the dead.
A sound startles her. Looking up at the window she see the alley cat on the window sill. The cat's eyes glow with a hellish fire...
Oh dear. I was meant to beat Tiamat, not help her win. Also, thanks to the guest stars from Cryptic's DnD team *wink*
To my right is my phone bill. I show it to her. As she leans in to read the small print, I quickly slice the edge of the page against her nearest face, giving her a vicious paper cut. If I'm lucky, I'll crit and do like 1 point of slashing damage. She's as good as dead.
twitchdigit1Member, NW M9 PlaytestPosts: 62Arc User
Well, I've got my dog...sooo...
I guess I would overwhelm Tiamat with his adorableness on the black head inducing cardiac arrest, put out the gas from the green head with his drool and drowning the green head, burn the red dragon by igniting gas from my doggies derrier with the dragon's flame breath, have him beg for belly rubs from the blue dragon thus destroying any animosity the blue dragon may have for me and making it retreat in terror that it could fall to a mere dog. Last, but not least, I have my dog tear the head off the white dragon and play fetch with me.
My dog is a 90 pound lovable, cute, loyal, beast of a guard dog.
Hm, I have my PC tower to my right!! I would grab the ineffective Windows 10 update and cast it at Tiamat with all the flourish of a seasoned CW player, then I would grab the cute lil Xmas tree on top of the tower and aim it for its head(s), followed by a swift flipflop to the body..*Tiamat DOWN by the smell of an over ripe thong (flip-flop)* GG
I have to grab a pack of batteries .... guess i wil have to charge myself up
There are more than BIS players in this game RIP Real Tiamat, RIP Real Demogorgon RIP real Temple of the spider. Why remove non bis content to give to bis players ???? FORCING the majority of your player base to play 4 mod old dungeons and trial will have a bad result on player base Changes are getting so bad i would rather prefer no new changes (RIP ICE FISHING in winter fest)
So, I grabbed the laptop to occupy my mind while on the toilet.....to my right..........................is the bath tub...... this.....................could get interesting!!!!!!!!!!!! It is a Jacuzzi tub so there is the motor and piping t consider, BUT, there being a high probability that the only electricity anywhere nearby will be coming at me from the blue head of Tiamat, I'm thinking the motor has just become a blunt flying object at best... maybe I can fashion a crude walker of sorts out of the plastic piping as it appears that I will be needing one after going up against the Mother of all chromatic dragons with only a bath tub. Now for the tub itself. Perhaps I could hide under it until she leaves and pray she doesn't see me, but other than that and offering to dip her claws into a solution of Palmolive one at a time to make them feel so much smother... I think I'm pretty much screwed here... Had I just read this before entering the bathroom, as I collect swords and shields, I would have been far better prepared sitting in my bed :-)
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zebularMember, Neverwinter Moderator, NW M9 PlaytestPosts: 15,270Community Moderator
Upon having my bowstring snap, I look to the person on my right and know there's only one option left to kill Tiamat... Throw the halfling. In the end, midget tossing IS the best ranged weapon ^;^
Upon having my bowstring snap, I look to the person on my right and know there's only one option left to kill Tiamat... Throw the Dwarf. In the end, midget tossing IS the best ranged weapon ^;^
fixed so i can make the obvious joke: "No one tosses a Dwarf!"
Comments
No problems here.
I will distill the scorpion venom from the previous kills earlier in the dungeon.
Being *very careful* not to get any on my skin I will combine the scorpion venom, wine (what a waste) and smear it onto the back of my special friend "Walnut" a tasty looking rust monster -where it will combine with the rust flakes into a fatal concoction.
While I will feel terrible about this, I will send Walnut in first. Lostmauth surely cannot resist snapping up my loyal friend into his jaws. Next thing you know Lostmauth will be killed by his own snack. I suppose he should have planned on a real meal, instead.
*chuckle*
As Lostmauth is in his death throes I hope to rescue Walnut, and with a few quick swipes of my ever-present towel (because I go nowhere without one) I'll set her to rights and set out to find my next adventure...
https://www.theholycrusaders.com/
"Alright Tiamat, I'm The Doctor. Even you in your demonic dimension must have heard of me by now. Your worshippers, the Silurians will have mentioned me in their prayers to you at some point. I don't carry weapons but I am never defeated by anyone or any thing. Just ask the Daleks, the Cybermen or even your distant relative the Loch Ness Monster. So I will give you one friendly chance to turn tail now and head back to the abyss from which you came or would you rather get first hand experience of exactly how I made my TARDIS this size ?"
Hopefully, this would result in one of two things happening. Either Tiamat would hesitate for a second before beating a hasty retreat...just to be on the safe side or she would collapse on the floor in hysterical laughter (not a pretty sight to be sure) at the preposterous nature of my speech/suggestion. I would either be perfectly safe (if she took the hint and left) or have more than enough time to make a hasty exit before she recovered from her laughing fit.
"This is not the adventurer you are looking for".
However, I refuse to be a snack. So I hurl harsh language, the kind I normally reserve for driving in traffic. The power of this attack should not be under estimated.
Lots of the items people are citing are on their right side by happenstance, not because it's something they're about to pick up and use.
Good improvisation though.
Neverwinter Census 2017
All posts pending disapproval by Cecilia
May the Force be with me for the contest!
And then as it dawns on me that all 3 heads are staring at me like "WTF is a laptop?" I realize the bright light zooming toward me is a ball of fire Tiamat spat up while snorting in derision at my pathetic attempt at defense.
Giving me just enough time to lament that I'm not wearing any flame proof gear, and thus will succumb to burning dragon mucus.
Honestly, I don't know if I am trying to defeat/scare Tiamat off, or convince Tiamat that she wants to help me "take care" of this "problem".
As Tiamat is briefly mesmerized by that mind boggling amount of Derp I tuck the dog under my arm like the tubby football she is and bravely run away.
(Un)Academic Field Work Foundry Campaign: NWS-DAPZB2CTZ
[Mitteilung] an [Brienne von Tarth]: ja genau der bin ich
[Systemmeldung] Brienne von Tarth ignoriert Sie.
[Mitteilung] an [mich selbst]: pvp ist schon geil
The DM has a sly grin on her face as she sits up late, writing the next module for her PCs. They think they will survive the foray into the temple of the Goddess Tiamat. How little they know.
As the hours pass...
Her scrawl becomes more unreadable as the hour increases. She looks up at the half moon shinning through the window. The slient hours. Sounds outside. Probably the alley cat.
She envisions the play through; re-reading the notes before her.
...
Strumadar runs in with his mace in hand towards Rath, the rage clearly showing on his face. Rath raises his hands and throws Strumadar back with a mighty force. Jacamo and Abyurin shake their heads and start picking Strumadar up.
Severin looks back to Rath handling the pesky adventurers. Sacrifices sometimes have to be made.
"Tiamat - rise!"
From the cavernous bowls of the temple, a hellish glow pulses. Low rumblings grow to an earth shakening rumble. Something emerges.
Dorf calls to the rest of the party. "We've taken out demons, what's a Dragon Queen to us?"
...
The DM looks happy at her work. They'll be lucky if even one of them survive to have the others raised from the dead.
A sound startles her. Looking up at the window she see the alley cat on the window sill. The cat's eyes glow with a hellish fire...
Oh dear. I was meant to beat Tiamat, not help her win. Also, thanks to the guest stars from Cryptic's DnD team *wink*
While Tiamat and Coco are busy exchangin hisses at each other,..............I'm running the other way.
Neverwinter Wonderland
Neverwinter Wet & Wild
Neverwinter 2nd Anniversary Montage
Neverwinter Anniversary Montage
Protector's Jubilee Speech
Oh the Carnage
I guess I would overwhelm Tiamat with his adorableness on the black head inducing cardiac arrest, put out the gas from the green head with his drool and drowning the green head, burn the red dragon by igniting gas from my doggies derrier with the dragon's flame breath, have him beg for belly rubs from the blue dragon thus destroying any animosity the blue dragon may have for me and making it retreat in terror that it could fall to a mere dog. Last, but not least, I have my dog tear the head off the white dragon and play fetch with me.
My dog is a 90 pound lovable, cute, loyal, beast of a guard dog.
RIP Real Tiamat, RIP Real Demogorgon RIP real Temple of the spider. Why remove non bis content to give to bis players ????
FORCING the majority of your player base to play 4 mod old dungeons and trial will have a bad result on player base
Changes are getting so bad i would rather prefer no new changes (RIP ICE FISHING in winter fest)
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fixed so i can make the obvious joke: "No one tosses a Dwarf!"